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Monday, May 10, 2010

My Letter To Drake && The "Dick Slang"

Dear Drake,
You know I love you...I've loved you since the 6th grade, when I knew you as Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks, the love of Ashley Kerwin's life (only die hard fans will know what the hell I'm talking about).
THAT being said, I must ask you, what has been up with your recent behavior?

OR watch it here via mobile web.
fast forward to the 6:18 mark please
Drake...honey child...just what the fuck are you doing with your hips?! This awkward hip thrust you got going on? Oh no ma'am. Please stop. I'm embarrassed for you. You look like an idiot. doing these weird hip thrusts does not make me wanna jump in your bed. You look like a white boy with no rhythm (yes, I'm well aware he's half white lol). I believe the phrase is "dancing like a wounded polar bear" (once again, that was for the die hard fans).

skip to the 6:36 mark

Can you also explain to me why after catching some RANDOM ASS FAN'S PANTIES you proceed to smell your fingers not once, not twice, but THREE GOD DAMN TIMES?! Like who does that?!

"That was the most ill thing I've ever seen in my fucking life. I don't know who you been fuckin or where you been, but I basically just fingered you."

Hmm...ill enough to make you smell your fingers more than once? *side eye*...


OR watch ithere via mobile web.
please skip to the :23 mark...

"I let her see the Ashton OHMYGAWD rest surprise her...". act like you've never seen a nipple before! I'm hoping this child had 3 boobs or LED's attached to her nipples to garner a response like that from you!
Running away from panties, distracting nipples...#NotAGoodLookBoo
I'm juss sayin...

Now on to this fuckery...smh

OR watch it here via mobile web.

FIRST OFF you've got 4 chocolate mens and one little latin (maybe mulatto...quite possibly white) child in the video. And only TWO of y'all got on shirts...#Questionable. Let's proceed...

SECONDLY I love love LOVE how the little sandanista walks off camera any time they do a dance that requires some sort of skill. IE the :18 mark, :32 mark && :45 mark. Poor baby, everyone has that ONE friend who can't really dance so he just kinda falls back when everyone is showin out.
My girl Tee Gillie said it best:

"im sorry. boys shouldnt be in such close proximity "slangin" their dicks.... #Suspicious #YouNiggasIsGay"

Yeah, because making a dance where you slang your dick around in a room full of other men slangin their dicks when there isn't a female in sight isn't gay at all.

THIRDLY WTF is with all the "BLAP BLAP BLAP BLAP" bein yelled throughout the whole video?! Is that some sort of college mating call I'm unaware of!?

Dear Sir in the baby blue basketball shorts, you have no dick to slang. Please stop.
Dear Sir in the dark blue basketball shorts, you coulda got it, riiiiiiight until I saw the 1:46 mark. You are dismissed.

Still waiting on my first feedback email babes an gents. Every time i go to my inbox it's empty:( you guys make me sad:(


Courtesy of
aaaaaah, sweet memories...

What better way to start off your week than with my blog;)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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