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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

How Does Miss Sixxxty Like Her Sex??

I may regret this blog in the morning, but as of right now babes an gents, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!
I'm so sick of getting thisclose to getting laid, then having it snatched away from me!!!
I mean how can you turn down all this deliciousness on a silver platter?! Jesus...Got the debbies all nice and hot, fresh out the oven...and you disappear!!!

Fuck man.

So since I can't get any dick in real life at this point, I'm just going to fantasize out loud about how this damn drought SHOULD end. Granted when it DOES end it won't even be remotely close to how I am about to envision it.

Cue "Confessions" album.

I'm ready.

Strangers to the blog, go read "All About Your Sexual Hygiene:)" so that you're up to speed on things.

Once I'm all ready for you, I'm gonna invite you over to my place. More than likely I've gone lingerie shopping in the past few days so I've got on the whole get up: the lingerie, the fishnets, the garter, the stilettos, the whole nine.
But I won't greet you at the door wearing that; I'll be wearing it UNDER my clothes.
I'll greet you at the door, you'll sit awkwardly on the couch cause we both know why you're there, just waiting on someone to make the first move. I'll pop in a scary movie an get close to you on the couch.

SIDEBAR: If you're a guy and I ever invite you over to my place an play a scary movie, that means I'm tryna get some ass. Just an FYI

When I'm ready, I'll pretend to be scared, just to get closer to you. I'll look up at you, you'll look down at me, and if you don't realize this is your cue to kiss me, then you can hop your ass up off my couch and leave at this point.
Anyways, back to the kissing. This will lead to me straddling you, and I may slip your shirt off. When you try to take mine off I'll stop you(:
More making out, you can kiss my neck cause I LA-LA-LA-LOVE it. Before you get the chance to throw me on the couch I'll hop up and run off somewhere, where I will strip down to the lingerie an call you over.
So you see me, leaning on the wall looking all kinds of delicious and we pick right back up on the kissing. I'll probably lean into you so I can cop a feel w/o you noticing lol
Then you would wanna pick me up and carry me back to the love dungeon aka my room.
You can lay me on the bed and take your pants off(:
Hop on top of me and continue with the neck kissing to warm me up.
Trust me; a lil effort goes a looooong way.
I'll roll you over so I'm on top, pull you in a sitting position, pop my bra off an let you an my nips get acquainted. Then I'll push you down and reciprocate the favor (sans the nip licking and sucking; unless you're into that kind of thing)
And just because I'm such a nice person and I like taking care of my men, let me do the honors and please you first.
It's hot where I live right now, so I'll probably have some Listerine pocket packs and a cup of cold ass juice on the night stand. Menthol + cold juice = extremely cool. Lemme take a sip of that an get down to business. Trust me, from what I've heard it's amazeballs.

Anyways, if you're not a bitch you can return the favor now.
I won't mind nor will I stop you. I promise.
If you have hair I'm gonna play with it; can't help myself.
The Carnie would let me go from laying on my back to riding his face in one swift roll. Ahhhhhh he was a lot of fun(:

Well what about the lights?

Keep em on, I like to see what I'm doing.

So by now I know you're ready to go.
For some reason men like the look of lingerie but they think it's too complicated. SO for you I wont hook up the garters so you can slip everything right off.

Now all this homework I've been leaving you, I'm putting it all to work tonight.
So I hope you drank your RockStar an busted that first nut before you came to see me, cause I'm puttin you to work and there's a slight chance you may have to put in some overtime.
I want it rough, so if I say "Spank Me" don't give me a light lil love tap on the ass. Make it sting. If you're behind me, pull my hair an make me arch my back into you.
If you're on top, whisper something in my ear, suck on my neck an breathe hard. The warm feeling feels insane.
Now when I say whisper something to me, asking me how it feels will do just fine. None of that "Your little hole is soooo tight" bullshit.
Don't kill the mood.
If you're spooning with me, let your hands explore my body; grab my neck an slip the other hand between my legs.
If I'm on top an facing you? grab my hips.
Facing away from you? Smack my ass. A lot.
Now while I can't go too much into detail, cause I've already written too much here lol just go through all the posts an peep the homework and let your imagination run wild.
When I finally DO get some dick, I will be sure to let you know IN detail. As I always do for my babes an gents.

Well, here's some homework for those of you who are getting laid (lucky bastards)


Courtesy of
Just another position to add to my repertoire while I wait for my knight in shining body oil. I'm just waiting to be rubbed down. God save the queen.

Send your words of encouragement through this hard time of lack of penis to

Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryy

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