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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Everyone Wants A Piece Of Me.

And I mean everyone:)
Not even an opinion its solid fact.
And since none of my friends are capable of answering the telephone today I think I'll just share what happened last night w/ my loyal adoring babes an gents:)

Lately I've been feeling all blah since my two friends passed away, and my friend, we shall call him Boss Man asked me if I wanted to come over and chill with some cool people later that night. I said sure, because I needed to get out and do something fun.
About an hour later I get a text from the Grizzly Bear:

"Hey I know I've acted like an ass I just wanted to know if u wanted to go to Boss Man's with me tonight"

And in the spirit of not holding grudges I said sure. Speed up to 11:30.
The plan was he was gonna pick me up from work (again), we were gonna go, I was gonna have a drink or two, enjoy myself, get dropped off and go home. Well, he had other plans in mind.
He picks me up, and I'm thinking we're on our way to this party, and he pulls off to the side of the road and I already know where this is heading. Fuck.
He leans over and starts kissing me an I'm just like, "Let's just go to the party already" and he's like "It can wait a few minutes" so he starts kissing my neck and I just go limp. I hate when I'm trying to tell someone NOT to do something and they start kissing my neck, because then it's like "What was the question again?"
Then he asked me to give him a blow job (again) and I said "Drive to the party!" he asked for one on the way over there and I just keep telling him to drive. Shit, I gave him head to the golf course and at the golf course. He already got his as far as I was concerned. Lol
So we finally get to this party and I see my other friend come outside and he looks at me, looks at him, pulls me to the side and says "Are we really doing THIS again?"
I assured him he was nothing more than a ride lol.
Inside the party I see The Martian and we converse a lil bit. Now, I don't hate the man, I just won't fuck him ever again. Then Boss Man comes outta nowhere and starts palming my ass like a basketball. I was just like oh, okay...then he like completely cupped one cheek and I was like time to sit down.
Speed up to about a few hours later. The only two other girls that were at the party left and suddenly I was alone. In a room full of dudes.

"So...how much is it gonna take for you to start strippin?"

I had mentioned I had a pole in the trunk of my car (bad idea) because then shit got serious lol.
They all wanted me to dance and to be honest I just wasn't drunk enough.
So since no one was gonna go back and get the pole (thank god) they started asking for lap dances. Which I still wasn't drunk enough for. Boss Man found me some Malibu and it was over. Ugh. Okay so remember the friend from the beginning of the party? I told him to sit in the chair first. I can't remember if I danced to "Sex Room" (swear that song made me wanna maul someone in that room, and I didn't even care WHO it was at that point) or "Sex In The Morning" (another song that makes me wanna maul people). Anyways I "danced" on him (I was feelin the Malibu a lil bit so I probably looked ridic), I "danced" on another dude sitting directly across from him, he left and Boss Man sat down on a chair. I was finally like fuck it, yeah you were my boss but you invited me over, it's the least I can do. I finished my dances and sat on the counter. The Grizzly Bear walked by and I pulled him over with my leg and demanded to know why he's so mean to me. He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. He turned around, grabbed my arms and carried me on his back around the kitchen. Then he started twirling me around. When I'm buzzed, you can't do that because I start losing my sense of direction. Next thing I know I'm making out with him in the laundry room. Then I walked over to the bathroom cause another dude was leaving and I told them not to stand near the bathroom while I peed lol. When I opened the door my friend was standing there and since it was dark he scared the shit outta me so I screamed.
He pulled me in the next room and then it gets kinda fuzzy. I think I straddled him. And had a nice convo up there too. Lol. Then he started sliding my shorts down because he wanted to palm my ass too I guess. Then the Grizzly Bear came to the door and I told him to get me a capri-sun. So I go back to the room and it's me, my friend and Boss Man and the Grizzly Bear's ol' party pooper ass was in the living room. Well I wanted him to come into the room! The other two were like no but w/e I wanted him there anyways. So I brought him into the room and gave him a massage and my friend left. I massaged the Grizzly Bear to sleep, Boss Man was already passed out on the bed, and I went to go talk to my friend. Then I ended up straddling him again (if you haven't noticed by now, I like to straddle people. Don't Judge Me.)
I owe him a private dance.
He needed to be at work at 6 and it was 4 when I dozed off. 6 rolls around and I'm like, aye you gotta go to work. He sits me right back on top of him and I was like...or not.
I'm awake and everyone else is sleeping, I walk around the house. Boss Man is sprawled out over the bed, the Grizzly Bear was curled up in the fetal position in the doorway of the bedroom, and my friend was asleep on the other couch.
I was really wishing I had my car and my charger at this point lol.
Finally everyone wakes up around 8:30 and nobody is saying a word. We're either on the phone or staring at each other. Awkward.

So I got to feel two hard peens last night and I didn't fuck anyone. In a sense that's a accomplishment, but I still wanted to fuck someone that night.
Not sayin no names tho...

Anywhoo, I really REALLY need to release some tension soon before I choke someone out. Let's find some interestingly fun homework for this evening, shall we?
WHEELBARROW

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
I remember doin somethin similar to this when I was doing my "dance" for my friend. It woulda looked a helluva lot better had I been sober and in lingerie. But eh, who's complainin?

Aye, no joke, I need a volunteer to help me end this drought. Email me AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com :)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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