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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Mulatto Banshee

Hey hey hey:)
Babes an gents, its been a LOOOOOOOOOONG 5 months...and my future is looking bleak.
These dudes are toying with my emotions. I'm Wile E. Coyote and these dudes are the Road Runner. I come up with a seemingly ingenious plan, and somehow before the episode is over I end up looking like a sucker. So I quit. Until further notice.

The hunt for dick, not the blog lol.
So for tonight I decided to dig through my memory bank and share a story with you guys.

Earlier this year I took myself a little baycation, strictly in my quest for peen. I met up with the mulatto banshee at the mall, and so far I wasn't disappointed. I went and hung out with my friend for a while, to give him time to shower, clean an whatnot.
I drove to his house, met me outside, exchanged hugs, and as soon as I walked into his house, I immediately noticed a strong odor.

" you have a dog?"
"Yeah how'd you know?"
"Wild guess..."

His house smelled like a fonky ass mutt had just rolled all over the carpet.
After I got over the smell, I finally noticed where I was standing. I was standing in the living room of the Brady Bunch house. I swear, this house had to be built in the 70's because the first thing I thought was "There's a story, of a lovely lady...". The mulatto banshee led me up the stairs and told me I was making too much noise. Well, it isn't my fault your parents chose to put a plastic carpet runner on the already dingy stairs! When I first met ol' boy, he was bragging how he got some job unloading train caboose thingies for like 16 bucks an hour. I figured he was just getting his money up, and wasn't gonna judge about the fact that he lived with his parents.

That is, until he opened the door to "his" bedroom.
This "man" shared a room with his little brother, and, get this, they slept in BUNK BEDS. Bright ass red metal frame bunk beds. It had a full on the bottom (his) and a twin on top (his brother's). And he assured me he already told his little brother what was up and he wasn't gonna be bothering us.
Um, what exactly did you tell your LITTLE brother?
And you're over here making 16 bucks an hour and can't afford a regular sized bed? Hmm...
As I stood in the doorway in shock he put on American Gangster. After seeing the bunk beds my libido went from 100% to 26%. So I'm sitting there, getting into the movie, and he's sitting next to me just staring at me. I glanced at him out the corner of my eye and asked him what was he looking at.

"You're just a lot prettier than you are in your pictures."

Uh, thanksss...Back to the movie now...He lays down, and I'm still sitting there watching this movie and he asked me if I wanted to lay down. I didn't really want to, but since I had nowhere else to stay I decided to be civil. I laid next to him, back to him so I could still watch this movie, he gets up and turns it off! Since it was so dark, he couldn't see me give him the WTF-are-you-doing look. He hopped back in the bunk, which squeaks at even the slightest movements. He gets behind me and starts kissing my neck. Now since I had just recently gotten my 1st industrial piercing I could only lay on one side. The neck sucking was absolutely dee-vine, so I couldn't help but to grind into him. Then he slides my leggings down, pushes the panties to the side and I'm thinkin, "FINALLY. I'm getting what I came here for". But then his bitch ass started playing games.

He just kept rubbing his dick everywhere but the one place he needed to be, and since he had sucked on my neck I was a tad bit excited, so he was just making a big mess. At this point, I'm getting irritated, because it seemed like he was stalling. The icing on the cake was when this man, who, btw, was making a big mess between my thighs, slid THROUGH my thighs and assumed he was inside. So I politely stopped him and said "'re done." Slid my leggings back on, rolled on my stomach, and attempted to go to sleep. Because I was done with his bullshitting for the night.

But apparently the mulatto banshee wasn't having all this. So he sits up, stares at me, and starts kissing my neck again. And I scoot away a lil bit. Remember, I'm in a metal frame bunk bed, so it makes sounds anytime I breathe. I honestly don't know how his mom didn't knock on the door with all that ruckus. But anyways, he thinks this is his cue to lift up my shirt and start licking my back. His tongue felt stinky and slimy. Any other time someone licks me it feels nice. But I was repulsed by him at this point and it felt nasty as hell.
I scooted over a lil bit more, and I could feel his stinky saliva trail drying on my back. (I just gagged a lil bit thinkin about it). I pulled my shirt down and pretended to be sleep as he nudged me with his nose like a damn dog.
In my head I'm thinkin "Boy, LEAVE. ME. THE. FUCK. ALONE." By this time, I'm wedged between the damn mattress and the wall. I can't go any further. I had to fess up.

"I just don't like being touched a lot, especially when I'm trying to sleep, don't take it personal, that's just me."

I'm surprised Jesus didn't strike me down just then. He got a little attitude and said "You think I'ma have a bad bitch layin next to me an I'ma keep my hands to myself?" Yes, because I am now annoyed with you. He finally left me alone, and took his ass to sleep.
2 hours later the clock struck 6 and I was dressed and waiting at his bedroom door. He rolled outta bed, picked the magnum off the floor (wishful thinkin, kidd) and told me to shush cause he thought his mom was awake. Boy, I have no time for your foolish games. So as soon as he opened the door, I walked out the house, not caring HOW much noise that damn plastic runner made on my way out. And I didn't look back.
As soon as I got back to my friend's house I deleted his number, unfollowed him and blocked him on twitter. I took the best shower I had ever taken in my life. Washing all of last night's grime off me. He texted me, asking if blocking him was really necessary, apologized for playing games, and how he had "unfinished business" with me.

Uhh...#HovaTap, sir you are VERY finished. Then he said I shoulda just let him finish.

"Finish what?"
"You made me take it back out"
"Hun, you were never in to begin with"

He then offered to take me out on a date, and try again. But as you guys know, when I'm finished I'm FINISHED.
I had to start ignoring the man, because he kept texting me after that night. Just didn't know how to leave well enough alone. I had to start getting bitchy. He finally got the hint.

One of these days I'll get it right...
Email me w/e you want:


Courtesy of
Aptly named for obvious reasons;) Have you ever just wanted to give, give, give? I'm in one of those moods where I just want you to lay back and enjoy yourself:) any takers? ...No? Damn...

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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