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Sunday, August 1, 2010

My Rendezvous With A Rapper...An Then Some

School is about to start pretty soon, so I'm taking all my road trips NOW.
I went to visit one of my friends, who happens to be a rapper. Me and my friend met up with him at his studio, and things got awkward.
He invited me to come but when I got there he just holed up in the booth writing rhymes.
Me and my friend were just staring at each other like hmm...okay what now?
Well one of the dudes had a huge ass garbage bag full of weed, still on the branch.
Now after that incident with The Carnie I will never touch weed again.
Now my friend on the other hand, her eyes lit up. The dude gave her a branch an she was a happy camper.
I'm still bored as hell, some of the guys who were in the studio were making small talk with us, which was kinda funny...
And then the rapper sends me a text from the other room

"What's up with that becky"

Welp, looks like I'm not getting laid tonight...
Selfish ass.

Then there's Sir Wishy Washy aka The Grizzly Bear.
He was finally within arms reach.
But as we all know, he will make up excuses for anything and everything to not go through with it.
Which is what his bitch ass did.
I cut my fucking road trip a day short because of his pleas that "It'll be worth it"
On the way back home I run over a damn raccoon. All in the name of dick.
The agenda for the night was supposed to be:

1. Go to the golf course.
2. Have sex.

Simple enough right?
Well he picks me up, starts kissing me as soon as I hop in the car and I'm like let's just go already.
So we alternate from making out at stop signs to blow jobs an hand jobs in between.
We make it to the golf course, he lays down the sleeping bag, and of course like a good partner, I start off with a little oral.
Well shit that was a literal BUST.
The head didn't even last that long before he finished.
Then I get the whole "Oh, it my take me a while to get hard again" which I had no problem waiting on cause like I said, I did it in the name of penis.
So we're just layin there, talkin an whatnot, and apparently he didn't like the fact that I brought up how he bitched out on me TWICE before. Since we were on private property he "saw somebody" (I didn't see ANYONE) and we had to hurry up and leave. Then it was all "I drink here all the time this is gay no one ever comes here."
I'm running around half naked, no shoes no bra. I felt like a crackhead. When we finally make it to the car, all of a sudden he needs to "go" because his brother is "acting a fool" at his friend's house.

"Please don't be mad at me."
*Blank stare* "...I'm not mad..."
"You look mad."
"I'm. Not. Mad."
"Can I at least tell you what's going on?"
"Nope. Just keep it to yourself. I'll just keep sippin on my tea...

He drops me back off at my car, and I just sit there like WTF just happened?!
Like how could I be THISCLOSE and not get what I came here for?
I gave that bitch the benefit of the doubt til I found out his brother was perfectly fine last night and he just got his boxers in a bunch because he didn't like the fact I low key brought up his ex.
If anything that should give you MORE of a reason to fuck me!!!
So I landscaped, ran over a raccoon AND potentially got arrested for NO FUCKING REASON.
Men will lie about the stupidest shit.
And this dude will continue to make up any excuse to flake on me.
He clearly had no idea what to do w/ a pussy that was sitting right on his dick.
What a shame.

I honestly have no idea what the fuck this man is so scared of, but I'm not stickin around to find out.

3 Strikes, You're Out.

What the fuck ever man.
I can't keep dealing with fucktards and pussies.

Emails please.

Homework (that will never get put to use this side of the equator)

Courtesy of
I really just cannot believe this shit keeps happening. Enjoy babes an gents

Miss Sixxxty, you're very sexually frustrated freak of the industryy.

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