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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sin City...Or Is It?

Babes an Gents...
Just came back from Sin City.
Las Vegas.
One of the greatest cities in the world.
And I finally went without any parental supervision.
I just knew I was gonna get laid.
But let me tell you how the weekend REALLY went.

Touched down in Vegas. The "guaranteed" penis I was supposed to get just so happend to get his car towed and was stuck in LA for the weekend. So checked into the hotel. Got ready, made sure the tittays were out on FULL display. walked the strip a bit, then got ready for the evening.
Wearing my lil freakum dress I met up with my friend who just moved out there (who also happens to be 21) and the drinks started flowin.
I had this big ass pink lemonade slushie thing from Rock House and lemme tell you it. Was. DEELISH!!
We traveled off the strip to this lil function thrown by the locals. Free champagne and 2 dollar drink specials were calling my name!
So one slushie, some nuvo, an half of some weird ass fruity concoction later my ass was lit.
I was lookin around an even though I was drunk I was still disappointed with the selection. I knew I didn't wanna go home with a local, I wanted to be ravished in a hotel room.
So my friend an his friends carried me to the elevator an we headed to The Orleans where I proceeded to hurl in the middle of the restaurant.
My friend ever so kindly held my hair back for me lol
Since I didn't have my room key with m my friend took it upon himself to take me to his house so I'd be safe.
And that's why he's my best friend.

I was DETERMINED to get some dick today.
We stayed at the MGM Grand and I decided to strut my lil hot ass to the pool (yes the tittays were bustin out but who cares...)
I ran into this fine caramel man, who happened to be a local (blah). We exchanged numbers but I must not've taken it down right because he never answered my text. Bitch.
Then after walking the pool areas, I decided to head to the food court to grab some food.
As I'm standing in line at McDonalds, I see a cute lil sandanista. I smile at him an whatnot, then outta nowhere this BEAUTIFUL buff tan sandanista came outta nowhere an stood between us an smiled.
I did the squeal o' joy in my head an smiled again.

"Can I just say you're beautiful?"
*black girl blush* "Why thank you:)"
"Can we make out?"
"...Right here?"

And this man proceeds to shove his tongue down my throat.
Hey, its Vegas. Who gives a fuck if I'm in the middle of a crowded food court?
After making out for a bit he puts his arm around me an claims me as his woman to anyone who will listen. I'm sober so now I'm a lil embarrassed.
He brings me back to a table of his friends (who were very nice, btw) and then he takes my fries an starts munching away!
This loser forgot to order his food while we were in line, I guess I distracted him...
He begins to suck on my neck (which y'all know is my WEAKNESS)

"Can I sleep with you?"
"My, you're very straight forward! Umm...right now?"

He starts sucking on my shoulder an biting me. I was about 2 seconds away from clearing off the table and straddling this man.
Then a group of people come over to inform us the bus is about to leave.
This man came on a party bus and I didn't even get my penis!!!
Ugh...I later found out his name was Juan...
If you're reading this then yes, I wanted to fuck you.
Very badly.
See, Sunday was the day to get shitfaced so that I wouldn't have remembered how much it sucked not to get laid.
So sadly, I didn't get any raunchy hotel sex in Vegas.
I give up on hunting for penis.
Which should mean it should start falling in my lap now.
For those of you saying God is tryna tell me something, don't bring God into my sinning!
Anywhoo, next time I go to Vegas I am most DEF getting some dick.
Because I will have my ID handy.
Hmph. *pouts*

Homework time! I really wish you hookers that have done your homework would email me an tell me what you think of these positions. Cause when I finally get laid I'm goin in to straight beast mode on his unsuspecting ass.

Courtesy of
As each day passes these positions just keep getting yummier an yummier to me...

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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