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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

This Crazy Wench aka Montana

Wow.
Babes an gents y'all been ON IT!!! 1650 blog views in just the past week. That is AMAZING. 'Preshate ya:) make sure to keep telling your lovers and friends about me:)

So now that I have finally picked my jaw up off the floor and wiped the #StuckOnStupid face off, I can now comment on the trainwreck known as Montana Fishburne, aka Chippy D, aka Chips Ahoy Booty, aka "this is my cry for help".
And yes, she was being COMPLETELY serious when she chose "Chippy D" as a porn star name. She said she chose it because people called her chippy because of her chipper attitude when she was younger.
Um...just why the fuck would you wanna use a nickname your family associates with your wholesome childhood?
Ooooh, how I would love to be at Thanksgiving dinner this year...
I honestly thought she chose it cause her ass looks like a Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip cookie!
The day I heard about this tom foolery was on her daddy's (Laurence aka Ike Turner aka Morpheus, aka one pissed off daddy) birthday.
His birthday, of all days, you come out an tell the world you're releasing a sex tape.
Some birthday present.
Her reasoning for doing so is she wanted to be like Kim Kardashian (specifically), Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson and the likes.
Look, someone please give this child a #HoeHaveASeat and a couch to lay on. I mean seriously lets take a look at how very different their situations were.

KIM KARDASHIAN

Relatively unknown before the sex tape. Started dating Ray J (who I heard was hung like a horse; I have yet to see it) and somehow the tape got "leaked". She was "shocked" and "embarrassed" and dumbfounded as to how the tape was released, and she tried to prevent it from seeing the light of day. Then she cashed in on it. Ray J's mama went on tv to insinuate that Kim released it, and in a way I believe her.

PARIS HILTON

Her sex tape shocked the world. Once again, a relatively unknown socialite before the release of the tape. Dated Rick Solomon who shopped around the tape to Vivid, much to Paris's dismay. Tried to block its release, until she saw the greener side of things and cashed in on it too. AND came out with a sequel!

PAMELA ANDERSON

The original gangster to start this celebrity sex tape ish. We all remember her infamous tape w/ Tommy Lee on their boat (who I also heard is hung like a horse, but once again have yet to see for myself). The tape was magically stolen, and all of a sudden, Pammy was a star!

Now on to Montana's triflin' ass.
This child WANTED to be a porn star.
She promoted her tape before it even came out.
AND she plans on doing more movies.
See what I'm getting at?

The other 3 had tapes that "leaked", they tried to bar their release, and then decided to cash in on the cow.
This bitch, on the other hand did all the dirty work herself.
I don't understand how she thinks doing porn purposely is gonna make her famous. There are hundreds upon hundreds of porn stars out there and we don't even know who the hell they are.
So when you tell the world how you're coming out with a sex tape, you have sex with an established porn star (Brian Pumper's ol' fine ass), and tell the world you plan on doing more, I just can't see the world giving two fucks (no pun intended). Maybe she just shoulda taken the safe route, got herself a lil' semi famous boyfriend, made the tape, say your house was robbed and the tape somehow "magically" leaked, cash in, and enjoy the spotlight.
At least maybe then your dad woulda had some sympathy on you.

Anyways, if you wanna see her first vid "Phatties, Rhymes An Dymes 14" here ya go.
I couldn't make it past 9:24 of this bullshit.
CLEARLY THIS VIDEO IS NSFW

Chippy D (Montana Fishburne) in Phatties, Rhymes and Dimes brought to you by PornHub
Or click here to watch it via mobile web.
Enjoy.

Back to reality, time for some hw.
DELIHGT

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Please, please, please, someone rescue me!!! I am in dire need of penis. I just hopethat whoever the lucky man may be that he has a lot of stamina and red bulls on hand. I'm goin in straight beast mode.

Welp, it was fun. Til we meet again:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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