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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Best Friend Application

Babes an gents, I have very few friends in life.
I have a lot of associates, but not very many friends I can depend on.
There are many perks to being the best friend of a hypersexual individual like myself.
Extensive sex tips, advice, crazy ass stories, but sorry, no exchanging of the sexual favors.
Idk about the whole friends with benefits thin anymore. I think no strings attached better suits my needs. That way if I see you in traffic and you don't speak, I don't have to wonder why the fuck you're acting like you don't know me and seeing our friendship going in the shitter.
That being said, we can be associates with benefits:)

Back on topic, I have a few close guy friends (I wonder why I have more guy friends than girls =I)
That was sarcams, btw.
One guy in particular, the girlies call him Curly Fries cause of his corkscrew curls (that he no longer has:( ) and he gets all the perks of being my bff.
So I decided to interview him for the blog an let him tell you in his own words:)

Miss Sixxxty: Ready for your interview?
Curly Fries: Lol. I guess
M: Okay. How are you this evening?
C: I'm goog
M: That's good. About how long would you say you've been my bestieee
C: Since like sophomore year
M: Freshman year C. The year of Taquito. Lol an I've known you since the sixth lol
M: Anywaysss. Would you say there are any perks to being my favorite boy?
C: Yeah but we did't get close until sophomore year
M: Right lol
C: Definitely the lingerie shopping. I thinks thats really the best perk
M: And why is that
C: Hello, free ass shots. Thats a dream come true
M: What about the photoshoots?

(I do these lil photoshoots in my new lingerie, when I want the pics to look nice for my lil side hustle lol)

C: That was gonna be the second perk. Lol
M: Which is better lol
C: It depends. If its a naked shoot, then the photography. If its casual, then the lingerie
M: Does it bother you, frustrate you at all? Or does it not phase you
C: Ehhh, sometimes you want the quick j, but if you can stick it out you'll be fine
M: J?
C: Bj.
M: Ahahaha that's why I love you C. You're the only dude I feel comfortable around like that. And of course queens but they don't really count
C: Lol. Why thank you
M: These dudes should be thanking you. I run everything past you 1st. In your humble opinion, why has my sex life come to a screeching halt?
C: Thats a tough one. I think its cause sometimes you make it too easy to crack open the fortune cookie

Obviously, this isn't entirely factual if I'm still going without lol

M: Boooo I don't like that answer next question lol as a man why do I attract only dudes w/ girlfriends?
C: Because you're willing to help the jailed
M: I don't even know they're jailed half the time!
C: Well somehow you just pick up on the wrong guys
M: They find me I swear
C: I'm pretty sure not
M: Girl scout honor. Anything you would like to add? Memories? Anything?
C: I would say its probably the best gig to have without pay. I wuld suggest to all men to apply for the position with anyone close to them

For the record, C never had to apply, I just picked him lol

M: Okay now I gotta give the readers what they want. Crazy sex story peas?
C: You already know a lot of mine
M: Pick one and 'll try to remember the deets
C: The bear claw marks on my back from ceecee

CeeCee is an ex of his who was into wild, animalistic sex. C came to school with red scrapes all down his back and hickeys galore. Tramp. All I ask for is a lil animalistic sex from time to time. Sheesh.

M: That's all I remember tho lol was that the time you were behind her an reached around an played w/ her clit?
C: That was all the time. Plus we moved to the couch cause we were going to hard an broke her grandmas specialized plate set
M: Not the specialized plates! Damn you C!!! But I remember you doing the visual @ school. Hilarity @ its finest.
C: Lol. What, when
M: Idk we were on the hill lol. How do you feel about Sir Walt getting circumcised @ 18?
C: That's a sad but promising story. It made me feel better that my parents cared about my penis' well being.
M: Thinking about them slicing his peen up gave me the heebie jeebies for a while an I don't even have a penis!
C: Plus you got to see it
M: That was scary. The stitches looked like little black fangs!
C: Hahaha. Thats nasty. I didn't wanna know
M: I'm sorry. But we agree its best to circumcise little male banshees at birth to prevent something like this from happening right?
C: Most positive
M: Btw I need an outfit for my birthday I'm tryna seduce someone
C: Of course. which out fit?
M: lingerie
C: Of course. Lol
M: I said I needa seduce this man. I need some birthday penis or my sex life is doomed.
C: Lol. Ok, i'll help you out
M: Yay! So how do you feel when you first walk into fredericks?
C: I feel more like a perv when i walk in then at victoria's secret
M: Why??
C: Idk, i just do. Lol
M: Does it make you uncomfortable when I ask you to come to the dressing room lol
C: No i'm ok with that
M: You seemed hesitant wen I first called you back. What did you expect to see?
C: I don't know. Maybe some more naked chicks.

Nope, just me lol

M: Lol you wanted there to be more naked chicks. Well at least we agree there lol Gracias. I want to say tank you for taking the time out to chat with me this eveninggg
No problemo

And that my friends, is how it's done.
He gets to see me naked, in sexy ass lingerie, take my pics, and I don't gotta worry about him getting a boner (at least in front of me). He tells me what works, what doesn't, tells me what I should and shouldn't do wehn giving head and whatnot. So the dudes I blog about should be thanking him in a sense lol.
You can be my bff if yo can handle seeing me naked without getting a boner. Because that may be the only way you'll EVER see me naked.
Feel free to apply lol

Time for some homework

Courtesy of
Who doens't love good head?

Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryyy

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