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Monday, May 2, 2011

And Now, Coming To The Stage...

You guys thought I was joking when I said "Fuck it I'ma just become a stripper". Nope. As of this past Friday night/Saturday morning I am an official showgirl lol. I think it's absolutely insane how it happened...I went on a road trip to SoCal with 3 of my guy friends and on the way we're all plugging in our phones an showing off our music and I play "Spend It All" by Chris Brown for them (I was showing them the uncut video, sorry I can't find an embeddable version for you guys:( I'm working on it) and one of my friends suggest we should go to the nude bar on the way back. I was suuuuper juiced because I had been wanting to go since I turned 18 and either couldn't find people to go with me or when I would make plans with my friends all of a suddden hours before we're supposed to leave no one can make it.
On the way back I was suuuper excited because I knew what was next. But everyone was sleepy, and suddenly I could feel myself getting disappointed again. I was pissed because everyone was talking like they really wanted to go and now all of a sudden everyone just wants to go home. Ugh...

FORTUNATELY everyone got their second wind and we got to go:) I took out 100 bucks, cashed em for singles an went inside. The atmosphere was cool, there were like 2 hot girls, a lot of average ones, but they all knew what they were doin. Immediately one girl comes up to me an asks me if I want a dance. I look at my friends an say sure why not. We're in the booth and she's givin me my dance and when she rubs her hands from my legs to my stomach she lifts up my shirt and starts asking me about all my piercings. We start chatting, an I was tellin her IDC if she finished the dance and I told her how I was considering dancing. She told me I was really pretty and I should totally do it. I was a lil skeptical cause I always imagined myself dancing in a topless bar, not on stage flashing my vag to the world.
We watch a few more dances and one of my friends ends up retreating to the car (he couldn't hang lol) and I go to the bathroom. On my way out my friend brings another girl to me and he's like "aye lift your shirt up!" So I show him an she's telling me about all these tatts an piercings she wants an I was like thats cool. Then I can't remember exactly who brought up me dancing but then WE got to talkin an she asks me if I want her to talk to her boss for me. Uhh, sure lol. In 5 minutes she brings him back an he gives me the once over. Tells me I'm a cute girl and I can definitely make some money there. Then he asks me if I want to audition. In front of all those people AND my friends?? I contemplated it, I hadn't landscaped in almost two weeks, and I had nothing to wear.

"Well that's okay you can borrow an outfit from me and some shoes from one of the girls!"

Why thank you lol. He let me know if I audition I would need to do two dances, one clothed and one nude, I'd sign my contract and have to stay until the club closed, and since me an my friends came in as customers I couldn't leave with them. That sucked cause we were like 2 hours away from our town. He told me I could come back Sunday night for Amateur Night an I would just need to bring two friends so we could make some money. Two problems with that: I had already called off that day and couldn't afford to call off again and I don't know any other girls with the balls to do that lol.
My two main problems were my ride an my vag. Those girls are smart. One girl was like "We'll take you 'home' an drop you off down the street at your friends car" and someone ended up giving me a skirt because I guess as long as I take off my panties I can keep the skirt on an somewhat shield myself. I went to ask my friends if they were willing to stay til 2 so I could audition an they agreed! Great, now my friends can get a full frontal view of my snatch game lol. I felt suuuuper bummy, I had ZERO make up on or in my purse (it was in my car at home) and my hair wasn't done. But I got changed in the locker room (where I was bombarded with more questions about my piercings lol) and I went up to the DJ and gave him my stage name an told him I wanted to dance to Lenny Kravitz "Fly Away" (fucking love that song) When I heard myself being announced as an audition I sauntered up the stairs, looked into the crowd an let loose. There's two stationary poles off to either side of the stage and one spinning one in the middle. I love spinning poles:) all you have to do is get a firm grip and pose, the pole does the rest. I did some floor work, trying to remember things I learned in my couple pole classes, remembering NOTHING. I thought it would be best to just stick to what I was comfortable with and not make an ass of myself my first time on stage. The second song starts up and I know thats my cue to start disrobing. Off goes the top, off goes the panties and there I am, grinding and twirling in front of all these people in my birthday suit. Surprisingly enough I was somewhat comfortable with it. Finished my set an collected my tips and I felt good:) for a newbie the people seemed to like me. I would say the only thing that made me uncomfortable would be my friends smiling at me from off stage cause I knew they were thinking "dude this is insane and hilarious you're naked" and I would just give them the "shut the fuck up" smile from stage.
I got off stage and some of the girls congratulated me and my friends told me I did good, that I should just use the other two poles more. I think I will when I get comfortable on stage. Found my boss and filled out my paperwork and I was official. He showed me around the club, explained the VIP section an how the private dances worked. Explained my pay which I hear is different from most clubs. Most have a house fee that you pay and then you keep whatever else you make; my club is a 40/60 split, I keep 60% of my dances and all my tips. He explained the rules of being on stage and how scheduling works, and then I was off to tend to myself. We have these Blue Light Specials, where when the blue light goes off in the club I have to report to the stage and then go out in the audience and ask for dances until the light goes off. I can't refuse if a customer wants to buy me a drink (since its a full nude bar there's no alcohol). I swear the next two hours, longest two hours of my life. I did one more stage dance and then I did 2 private dances. I have to stay at the club after it closes to cash out and make sure the customers leave. The girls dropped me off down the street and I hopped into my friends car and headed back into town. Counted my tips, made off with about 90 bucks, minus what I tipped the DJ.

I still can't believe I did that shit lol.

The girls for the most part were nice, one was a blatant bitch, who when I said hi to her she didn't say shit to me (thank god I didn't tip her ass) but then again one of the other girls told me she didn't like her anyways, now I see why. There was another one who I thought was just absolutely GORGEOUS, she had big boobs an a tiny waist and a huge ass and she was tall...le first she didn't speak to me either but then after I started working she sat down next to me and chatted with me a bit. One of the girls asked me if I was straight/bi/lezzie, all the while twirling my hair and giving me THAT look. I just giggled an smiled.

Thank god for this job, because I was about to burn that morning one down to the ground.

Figure since I let go of one of my jobs I can start going back to my pole class to sharpen my skills. Can't look like a newbie forever. Those girls were poppin' it, doin the splits, all kinds of pole tricks...I wanna learn:( but idk if I should ask anyone for help lol

This was a mouthful.


Courtesy of
It only seemed right lol...Took Mr. Happenis aka Blue Magic, for those unaware, out for tacos an when I went to pay he asked me where I got all the singles. I said where do you think? And his answer was "SOOO...this means I can say I'm fucking a stripper now?" why yes, yes you can. LOL smh THISS kid...

There she go slidin' down the pole...
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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