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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Why Me?!

Hmm ha okay. Welcome Drought of 2011. Let me just start off by saying you really aren't welcome round these here parts. Don't get too comfy either. We don't take to kindly to your kind...

Let's see here...its the I'm guessing I have about 20ish more days until I can finally spill EVERYTHING that I've been biting my tongue about. And maybe get my shit back on track...

Anyways the point of today's blog...I think my vagina may be doomed in the near future. Oh and BTW I have finally settled on a name I like. From this point on I shall call her GiGi. And she shall be my GiGi. Like I was saying, GiGi may be doomed. She's being a picky bitch right now and no one seems good enough! Remember the nerdy security guard from my job? The one I was all excited out corrupting? Well after spending a couple days with him...umm not so much.

I travel out of town to dance, and one day we were texting and he asked me how long I was gonna stay out there. I told him a couple days if I found somewhere to stay and he offered to let me stay there when I came down. Schweet thats 100 bucks in my pocket. So I drive out there and work my shift, and I follow him home. I get to his house and he has the cutest overweight dog I've ever seen...but I'm suuuper tired I had been up since 6:30 that day. He makes me a pizza and the whole time his mom is spazzing out about burning it (she's such a sweetheart). Meanwhile I'm dozing off on the couch trying not to be a rude house guest. He brings me pizza and some tea and I'm munching away and watching some movie then its time to retreat to the room. He cleaned up his sister's room all nice for me, made sure I was comfortable asked me if I needed any blankets, and then left me to get ready. Well I haven't met his sister but I love the bitch because she had spongebob and body piercing pamphlets all over her walls! I knock out at about 5...and at 9:34 sharp I hear a knock on the door. Its the security guard (I need a nickname for him!!!) with breakfast. Toast, eggs, and milk. Well.........its the thought that counts right? Although the eggs weren't seasoned an a lil burnt, and he put a ton of jelly on my toast (I hate jelly) and I don't think the milk was whole milk (I can taste the difference) it was a sweet gesture, albeit at 9 in the fucking morning. Fortunately I was too tired to eat and he let me sleep some. I was supposed to work a double at the club and decided to go shopping instead. It's nice having that kind of freedom:) We spent the day on his motorcycle.

STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES!!! omg so this was my first time on the back of a motorcycle and let me tell you...GiGi's ol' hot to trot ass didn't know how to act!!! Every time he revved the engine it would make my VCH vibrate and I just felt like I was gonna let go and pass out every time he did it. I'm pretty sure he had no idea what was going on back there lol. He has a street bike w/o a bitch seat so I had to it on GiGi instead of my ass. Bad idea. I had to keep sitting on my ass to avoid having an orgasm on his bike. But anywhore, carry on...

I dragged him to two different malls while I went into any store with bright lights and anything shiny. While I was in the dressing room trying on pants he was telling me how he had never been shopping with a girl before...which I thought was weird cause I remember him telling me once upon a time ago he had one...but I disregarded it. Later that night I had to be the DD at work cause some of the girls went and did a promo event at a local club and came back WASTED. My manager was too drunk to drive and he wanted Denny's so I got to drive the company van. Denny's + loud drunk strippers = no bueno. The whole time we were talking about sex lol and this couple behind us looked disgusted. Well exCUSE the fuck outta me! I was disgusted with them for having a baby who couldn't have been more than 6 months out an about at 3:30 in the gad damn morning! Anyways my manager called out the security guard as a virgin and I looked at him and thought hmm...Never been shopping with a girl...openly likes dragon ball z and anime stuff...loves collecting ninja swords...maybe! Also...earlier that night he texted me a blank text and seconds later, in all caps "OMG I JUST SAW YOU ONSTAGE!!!I AM SPEECHLESS!!!" They're not supposed to watch us when they come in on break and I couldn't figure out why he was so excited and I was only topless at that point. Hmm...

Back at his house he came and stayed in the room with me. I figured since he had already seen me semi naked he wouldn't mind me changing in front of him. And then I got in bed he turned the lights off and we just talked for a while...and then he left. Wtf?? The next morning I heard his sister come in "DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER IN MY BED??" "*nervous laugh* no..." "Oh, well, I wanna meet her!!" but too bad I went back to sleep lol. He came in and we talked some more, I asked him why he left me alone and he said he didn't thinkI wanted him in there. Then we took a nap. I woke up and headed to work. A few hours later he texted me:

SG: "Can I ask you something?"
ME: "Go for it"
SG: "Should I have made a move last night??"

Hunny if you have to probably should've. Cut to a couple days later. I just HAD to know if he was a virgin. So I asked...and he told me no...But he lost his virginity last year...and that was the last and only time he had sex. *cue slide whistle* oh no. Oh nononononononono. "yeah lol im kinda inexperienced" NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! Why must god play these cruel jokes on me?! He told me it was with his ex and it sucked

ME: "What made it so bad"
SG: "She didn't finish and I made her cum like 3 times lol"

1st off...I felt some type of way when he said he made her cum like 3 times...I was a tad grossed out...Only certain people are allowed to say cum and only in certain contexts. That wasn't one of them. Secondly...WTF?

ME: "Wait what?? How did she not finish?'
SG: "She didn't make me cum"
ME: "Then YOU didn't finish.."

For everyone telling me he could be a blessing in disguise and that I can mold him and whatnot, FUCK YOU! GiGi is too damn impatient to be tryna train some penis to be everything she wants it to be! Who knows how long that could take?! I'd rather not have sex at all than have bad sex. I just ant someone who's gonna fuck me like I wanna be fucked and not be concerned with hurting or "breaking" me. Shit if I asked to be choked, then DO IT. If I say grab he harder, DO IT. You're no gonna break me, I think I know what I'm doing. *side eye*...anyways back to the topic at hand...I mean he's a cutie but what if he has a small penis?! I can't train that! What if I don't mask my disappointment accordingly?! I don't wanna hurt his feelings he's so nice...And I'll be straight up I'm not gonna fake the shit either. Since he's only had sex one other time he can view me as his teacher. "Try harder next time" "We'll work on THAT" It could potentially be good...but I'm not willing to risk it. We can just be cool...he has a crush on another girl too which they probably have more in common anyways *tear* I always feel a lil sad when I find out someone who used to have a crush on me doesn't have one anymore or likes someone else regardless if I liked them or not.
Anyways, this man is not my boyfriend therefore I don't feel its my responsibility to train him lol he needs a little more work experience then he can try to reapply when he updates his resume;)


Courtesy of
I've never been a fan of these positions where you're in close proximity...little room to move around. I like those hard long strokes lol

Geez...I bought some lube an love cuffs the other night...and they're just staring at me all sad like "use usssssss" (thats another story in itself...fucking weirdos cruising for ass at 5 in the morning. next blog fer sureee)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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