wahhhhhh

I haven't been on in ages. Prolly cause my sex life is non existent and I have nothing to write about. What's been going on with me? I work like a slave.
-Sleeping with someone you work with when you're there 5 days out the week could possibly be the worst decision you could ever make.
-The Antichrist formerly known as Happenis made a brief reappearance. That was short lived. But at least he remembered my birthday and I got some half decent birthday peen from it. But he wouldn't leave his new girlfriend and wouldn't give me a legit answer as to why he keeps coming back if he A. made it clear he wasn't leavin her ass and B. the bitch apparently sucks dick better than I do (HA! Bitch you wishhhhh). So he had to go. His bitch made him text me a few months after I ended it to "end it again". Then he came back yet AGAIN. But I was sleep. And I haven't heard from him since.
-Sexsomniac, my clutch, is clutch no longer. We had great hotel sex, I fucked him like 5 times that night it was great. Then he moved away, came back to visit, wanted to have sex with him when he was drunk & passed out so I gave him head until he woke up and we had sex and it was great. Then last time he came to visit he promised me sex then fell off the face of the earth. My last option vanished. I haz a sad. Moreso because I have no idea wtf happened. But what can ya do...
-Don't say you're gonna fuck me if you're not. And I hate the fact I feel like a thirsty ass hoe after you tell me that and I'm just over here like "k......soooooo...what's up?" We should've BEEN made this happen. Talkin all kinda shit. Of course you ain't about that life. OF FUCKING COURSE. Because this is me we're talking about.
-I still have yet to have someone explain to me why I come off as "intimidating" and me believe an ounce of what they say. I refuse to believe there is no one out there who just wants to have sex on a few (frequent) occasions. Am I getting old?! Am I supposed to be settled with a boyfriend by now?? IS THAT THE ONLY WAY I'M GOING TO GET LAID AROUND HERE?! Maybe I'll make a BlackPeopleMeet page. Or you think they'll take me on LatinosMeet or nah?
-I got a Christina piercing. It's dope af. I haven't put it to use yet. This makes me sad.

I really don't know what to update this blog with if I'm not having sex. I miss blogging but I literally have nothing to talk about lol. I miss y'all.
-Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Shit, I Don't Know...

People are assholes. Plain and simple. Some people don't even have the decency to treat you like a fucking human being. But I guess I have no one to blame but myself for this right? Always getting mixed up with the wrong people. I guess this means I have to go aaaaaaaall the way the fuck back to square one, back to when I didn't have sex for 6 months. Maybe something different will actually come of it this time. Something nice for once. As it stands right now I haven't wanted to have sex with ANYONE, and because I don't go out and everyone I work with is pretty much ugly, I don't have any other options, except maybe myself...and I hate that option. But in the meantime and in between times, what ever shall I write about? I can't seem to have NSA sex with someone without losing interest in 2 months...my life is boring...and I don't wanna whine about all the sex I Could be having that I'm not again. Hmm....
Currently stuck in a rut where I don't wanna do anything but catch up on Breaking Bad and watching Flavor Of Love reruns. Haven't put on makeup for work like I normally do, the gym seems like such a drag now...maybe I should start taking a kickboxing class. So that way when I see you I can (at least attempt) to whoop your ass. Maybe that'll make me feel a lil better lol. No more Girls reruns, no more Adam Sackler reminding me how shitty my situation is, no more Sailing Souls. Shit I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE.
You guys will probably think I'm gay for posting this but whatev.

Pretty much sums up everything. To a fucking T.

Shit, I don't know I'll figure the shit out.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy.

P.S. AND STOP READING MY SHIT ASSUMING EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON MY SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE? DON'T WORRY ABOUT WTF I BE DOIN MKAY? THANKS IN ADVANCE.

Been Gone For A Minute...

...Now I'm back with the jump off. Nah but really...I have missed blogging like A LOT A LOT so i figure I can catch everyone up on what's been going on and shit I do and don't like and whatever else I feel like rambling about today.

So waaaaaaaay back I told you I had sex with this black dude. And it was kinda nice. But lo and behold he is just a piece of shit human being. For the simple fact that he not only had sex with me with no intentions of keeping this on a casual basis (despite what he originally said) he did it the night before he went on a date with his now baby mama to be. Just TRIFLIN. And I wasn't even the one sexually pursuing him! I would've just been cool staying friends and telling him all my man problems but noooo. He'd rather risk a friendship over some pussy. Smh. I was pissed because he knew this the whole time and we were good friends prior to the whole sex thing which makes me feel like he played me as his friend. And you don't play your friends. Lol.

Then there's Sexsomniac's bitch ass. Everything was cool with him...then I met this guy I thought I was really starting to like so I just kinda stopped replying to his late night drunk texts, because in some odd way I felt guilty. And plus I didn't wanna tell him we can't have sex because of another dude, because if shit doesn't work out with said dude (which it ISN'T) I didn't wanna lose out on my clutch! Well, we all know how he likes to bring me around his lady friends (like a dumb ass). I mean SERIOUSLY. What do you call a dude who brings his fuck buddy (I really hate that term.....trying to come up with a better word for it lol) around every one of his new girlfriends when the both of you already know he's going to cheat? And I mean he wastes no time. There's never a relationship nesting period with him. He will have gotten with the bitch the day before and still hit me up talking about "Let's have sex". Bitch. NO. Go away. This shit is beYOND old by now and I'm over the shit. Oh, and now the chick he isn't dating but calls him babe and posts pics on ig with, I work with her. Sir, your dick is not good enough to lose my job over.

Oh yeah. I have a "regular" job now. It sucks donkey dick. Corporate america, direct deposit, uncle sam, bi-weekly paychecks and everything can kiss my hi yella ass, btw. I hate this life. I wish there was a popular club that wasn't a million miles away that I could work at because I am not adjusting to the normal life very well. I feel poor as fuck. And that is not a good feeling! I like, NEED to finish school and become a coroner already because I like to have nice things and I don't like having to budget. First world problems, poor me:(

Anyways, It's taken everything inside of me not to call him out around his bitch. Some days I wish I was a messy ass hoodrat...but I'm not . So I be quiet. But when he leave........best believe I be talkin again.

Then there was the Puerto Rican. Everything was lovely, the head was great, the sex was great, the weed was great EVERYTHING WAS GREAT. Then one day we were hanging out and I just looked at him and thought, "You know, I don't think I really like you!" and the shit went downhill from there. I started not wanting to hang out with our friends together, because I hated the idea of showing up WITH him. Like here THEY come. As if we're a package deal. I'm my own person, as is he, and that's that. I felt like the less I was starting to like him the more he started to like me, which was a shitty sitchy within itself. Now that whole "It's not you, it's me" cliche makes a ton of fucking sense! Because he literally didn't do anything! Then I started to loathe the idea of us having sex. And essentially that was all this was anyways so once the sex stops being fun...I mean when you get to a point where you don't even want them giving you head...like this shit goes DEEP. I feel like such a horrible person. But you shouldn't have to force things right?

Please don't hold my hand after sex.
Please don't ever fucking call what we do LOVE MAKING. EVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Don't give my vag any goofy ass 4 year old names. We're fucking grown. And that shit is kinda creepy.
Unless I pursue you fully knowing you have a gf...don't bother fucking talking to me.
Have you ever just been disgusted by a person you used to like a lot? Like the idea of them pointing their erection even remotely in your direction makes you queasy? No..? Just me? Fuuuuuuh.
I find out everything. I'm one cunning sneaky ass bitch.
I'm kinda semi involuntarily celibate right now, which sucks. But then again you know me, I don't settle.
My mechanic is harrassing me again. Mind you I only hung out with him once on my birthday like two years ago. And all we did was drive around town. I mean why are you randomly calling me at 4 in the afternoon? Shouldn't you be working? And stop sending me requests on fb!
When I stop fucking with you I really stop fucking with you. DO yourself a favor and just stop trying. You're only making it harder on yourself, and I'm trying to be nice here
I really miss my vertical clit hood piercing. Like a lot a lot.
I had sex for a week straight. Did not end well. Some people are better suited for sex once a week, or every other week. Once a day is too much stress for some people's bodies. Not mine.
I have had the weirdest reoccurring fantasy about anal. I've done it like twice not too long ago...and I kinda wanna do it more than once in a blue moon.
Be a man with me. Grab your balls and fucking assert yourself. Don't be a fucking pussy. One thing I hate is a weak man. I like manly men. That know how to man handle me. I hate passive aggressive dudes.
Do guys ask for butthole pics? Do girls randomly send them? I need answers.
I'm not a nympho.

OHandihadsexwithhappenisliketwiceanditwasamazingbothtimesdontjudgemekbye.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Freewrite.

I'm gonna take this time to just say what's on my mind right now. It may get a lil gushy so if you didn't come here today for that type of thing you don't have to read this.
So as you all know I love Adam Driver's character "Adam Sackler" on HBO's GIRLS. I am in love with a tv character. I am in love with the idea of him, that someone like him exists out there. Everything he says usually hits home for me because either I'm feeling that way or he's replaying a scenario I've already been thru. In one episode he goes to an AA meeting because he feels like he's been slacking on them. He makes this speech that makes me sad:

"I had this girlfriend who at first i didn't like very much, or i didn't take her very seriously i guess. She just seemed like you know - piece of ass. She was PERSISTENT man...and she just hung around and hung around and showed up at my place and gradually it started to feel better when she was there. Wasn't love the way i imagined it - I just felt weird if i didn't know what she was up to or whatever and i like knowing that she was just gonna BE there and warm and staying the night. She acted like i was teaching her EVERYTHING...about history and sex....i showed her. And i wanted that chance to show someone everything. But she changed her mind about me and it was that fast." 

The first half reminds me of how things used to be, like the way i felt he thought of me. The middle reminds me of how I started feeling about him. The end reminds me of the last time I spoke to him with me being on the other end of the situation. It makes me think about things I wanna get over, but just quite haven't yet. I feel stupid for being a girl about this. Like this has never happened to me before, when it comes to sex everything was just smooth fucking sailing. Sure I'd still get mad when they were dicks but the only difference here was when they were dicks the first time around I'd peace them out and not look back with any problems. I don't know why this douche bag was so different. I didn't see myself falling for him until it was too late....this is really starting to sound like a romantic novel that some middle aged housewife would be reading in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. I HATE that. Mushy gushy romance stuff isn't me. That's why I'm so fucking confused.
The worst past is, is that I didn't just fall on my own. Aside from celebrity obsessions when you fall for someone you usually fall because they give you some sort of sign that hey they may like you too. I'm not an idiot. I wouldn't call someone i didn't like babe or hell i wouldn't even wanna flirt and hang out when we're not having sex. I would just say he showed signs he shouldn't have if he didn't either have feelings or want the girl to think he did and send her mixed signals. But mixed signals is what I got and I fell for the fucking okie doke. And got screwed in the end.
Now he's been gone since last year and I'm trying to just do other stuff and think about him as little as possible. But I still think about him sometimes. I wonder if he's gonna come back, because that's what I'm used to. Then I try to remind myself "No he's not coming back so move on". I think of some good times then tell myself he's a horrible person and whatnot. I ask if he ever thinks about me, even just a little and I have no fucking idea why. I thought I was good til I saw him at the gym. We live like 5 minutes away from each other and know most of the same people so I knew I'd have to see him EVENTUALLY, but I never knew when or how I'd feel at the time. When I saw him I had a fucking anxiety attack. It happened before I completely realized what was happening. I tried to finish my workout making sure to stay away, but I just wasn't feeling it. When I passed him up he avoided making eye contact and when he came in the sauna when I was already there he made sure to sit all the way in the back while his friend sat in front of me. I can act like it's not awkward and that it doesn't bother me but it does. I feel like I didn't do anything wrong to be treated like that. I have no idea how I managed to fall for a person who could be so mean. I can't even pinpoint what's making this all so difficult which in turn does not help me feel better. Like I can't fix something if I don't know what's broken! These are all weak words, words of a bitch. This makes me so mad because I don't know how to dead this shit already. I'm having a mental block right now. I just don't know anything about anything anymore. Everything is just all kinds of fucked. Now I would never ever even consider suicide over a broken heart be it him or someone in my future but now I know why some people do that shit. This shit is NOT  FUN some days it can seem unbearable. Some days I don't even know how people who got over this did. I just try to tell myself that I'm okay, and there's someone better out there or whatever. And have fun in the meantime. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I mean it sucks to feel shitty but it's just a part of life. And life moves on. 
I'm just honestly over feeling like this I want to feel repulsed when I think about him already.
I'm gonna go watch some Netflix and think on it. Since that's pretty much the only thing I can do. merp:/

Miss Sixxxty, wants to go to sleep. 
 

The Big Stripper Orgy! Kinda...

hay hay hay. I told myself I would at least write one more post before 2012 is over. So next on the list is my reunion with Sexsomniac. He's been coming in so clutch lately. Like he has helped me in my lil situation more than he knows.
Speaking of which, I still haven't spoken to the antichrist, he seems pretty content with his current situation and I can't be too mad at that...For the most part after the initial shock and borderline depression it has been a lot easier than I would've expected. But then again I think the only way I'm managing to stay sane are the edibles that just make me not give a flying fuckotash about anything. But shit I'm not hurting anyone so whatever works. I'm just waiting for the day I can't even stand the thought of being back with him.

But anyhoe...let me tell you about what went down the night I hung out with Sexsomniac. So it was Thanksgiving vacation and my friend was in town. Sexsomniac hit me up and asked me if I wanted to kick it with him. I honestly can't even remember the last time we had actually had sex but hey. Why not? It was a Sunday night and I wasn't doing shit anyways. When I got the hotel I got off the elevator and I just remember seeing these two big girls following me. I heard one of them ask "It's room 302 right?" and I'm thinking, wait, I"M going to room 302...so I power booked it down the hall to the room. When I get there my friend, Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap and the Mexican Breast Feeder were there plus some white guy I had never seen before in my life. I asked them if they invited any other girls and they just stared at me. Soon enough the big chicks opened the door and asked where the bathroom was so they could get ready. As soon as they shut the bathroom door Sexsomniac stepped into the hallway and I just pointed and silent laughed at everyone in the room. The Mexican Breast Feeder started to look at me and I was like "Oh hell no. I was summoned on pleasure not business fuck you guys I'm gonna enjoy the show." Idk why they always call these stripping companies to pay for bean poles and whales when they have *me* on call. They know what I look like already! But I digress.
The girls come out of the bathroom in their tacky ass lingerie and I can't help but think one of the girls looks familiar. After doing some questioning I found out I knew her from high school. She was a year older than me. We shall call her...Peggy. And her friend can be...Shelly. So Shelly looks around the room and asks who's gonna go first. Nobody moved, nobody said shit. I volunteered Mr. Dunlap since it was his birthday. The look he gave me = priceless. So the girls start hopping into laps...and because they're slightly on the bigger side they never get completely naked. They leave their lingerie top things around their waists. The Mexican Breast Feeder asks me if I would join the ladies in performing and Shelley chimes in and says she would love to see my boobs cause she likes girls. Um. No. Ma'am. I told her she was working and I wasn't gonna impose on her money. Oh I almost forgot to add we were listening to music off Shelley's phone with that ridiculous ass Boom Cube thing. This entire night was just getting more ratchet by the second. Peggy suggests that they start the private shows and she and the white boy head off to the bathroom. As they walked past me I was wondering if he noticed or even cared about the big ass herpe looking sore on her ass cheek. After they go in I noticed the Mexican Breast Feeder and Sexsomniac had both called me and I was confused because we were in the same room. I asked why they called me and they were like "Well you said no one called you to come work., so we were calling you now." Too late bitches lol. Shelley asks if we wanna see some dollar tricks. Okay, now you have my attention. Wtf is a dollar trick? You tip her a few dollars and she'll pick it up with her cooch. I had to see this so I ponied up some ones from the boys and gave em to her. She folded them in half hot dog style, put them on Mr. Dunlap's stomach, and she made sure to tell me "you gotta be a little wet first" and she crouched down and picked the shit up. Money is DIRTY AS FUCK. Okay? And you're picking up that dirty shit. With your PUSS. I know your cooch is absolute trash cause you clearly don't treat it with respect. I won't even take a dollar out a customer's mouth with my mouth, let alone my cooch. But whatever will pay your bills get it how you live pymp.
Peggy comes out the bathroom to see her partner getting tips and she says "Well anyone got a 5?" I'm like what are you gonna do with a 5? She says she'll roll it up and stick it up her butt. I think I'll pass. Then she says she can do a beer bottle trick for 20. Now this I HAVE to see. I pony up some more money from the boys and she's like she needs a clean beer bottle. She picks one up to go clean it and Shelley says "I wouldn't fuck a girl who knows how to do a beer bottle trick. Everyone just stares at the white guy and he puts his cowboy hat back on and doesn't say shit else for the rest of the night. She comes back in the room and all this lazy bitch did was fuck herself with it! Trick my ass!!! Shelley and Mr. Dunlap head off into the bathroom next and Peggy is just like...wtf do I do with myself. She gives a few more lap dances and sees Sexsomiac with a Shocktop. She's like omg is that a Shocktop can I have some? He stares at the bottle, then back at her and tells her she can just have it. She's like no I just want a taste and he's like no really, you can keep it. She takes a drink and tries to give it back and he stares at it like it's covered in AIDS. He Sends em a sad text saying "I really wanted that Shocktop, it was the last one:(" I tell him to just wash it off and he's like fuck no. Oh well. Lol. I look at the time cause I'm like these bitches have been here a long ass time so I ask Peggy how long these shows are supposed to be and she's like shiiiiit we went waaaay over time. She gets dressed, rolls a blunt, and asks if anyone cares to join her she'll be outside. Nobody went to join her. Before she left I asked if she was taking her friend with her and she's like "Oh. She's a big girl she knows when the show is over." Then I asked if she was gonna take her swtuff and she was like "I don't touch anything that ain't mine" and left. I knocked on the door like 4 times to let Shelley know her time was up, that her partner left and that her stuff was still here. she comes out the bathroom dressed, pissed her partner left her and when I said she left her stuff cause she didn't wanna touch it she was like "Pfft, yeah right." Damn.
After the girls left I cornered the white guy and asked him what happened.  He would only touch his cowboy hat and not say shit. All I could get him to admit to was that he fingered her MAYBE a little bit. Mr. Dunlap on the other hand was not shy at all "YEAH I FUCKED HER. And she sucked the shit outta my balls while she jacked me off. And I would've put it in her butt if my legs weren't shaking so much." These are the people I hang out with. I'm thinking if she did that with you guys, who else have they done it with. That's why I keep my bougie ass in the clubs and out the hotel rooms. Mr. Dunlap paid me 50 bucks for a topless lap dance but thank god he told me it felt "weird". Cause I didn't wanna do the shit anyways. Then he squished his fat ass body on me and Sexsomniac with all his BBW stripper sweat juice on us and I felt so dirty. He's a bitch for that. Gross. After he left the Mexican Breast Feeder kept trying to have a threesome with me and Sexsomniac claiming they were so close that one time like a year ago. Bitch please. Go sit in a corner I DON'T WANT YOU! After a few failed attempts he finally left and me and Sexsomniac were sitting on the floor and he kept touching the inside of my thigh. Finally.

I'll save the actual sex part for the next blog. FYI shower sex is only halfway what it's cracked up to be. Shits dangerous af.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

It Was The Worst Of Times...

If YOU'RE reading this, you know you no longer have any business to keep checking up on me. So if you don't like what I'm saying, tough titty.

I can barely remember what started this whole stupid conversation but all of a sudden it was like a complete 180. Like I just fucked you 6 times tonight AND bought you tacos I think I was on my best behavior! This entire bullshit started because of a comment I made 2 FUCKING FEBRUARIES AGO! Basically his friend told me he was a good guy and needed someone to tie him down. All I said was that I wouldn't mind him being my boyfriend but I don't think he's looking to date me. And the friend randomly brought it up a few days before. And the shit was weighing heavy on him since then or something. I don't know that doesn't sound like a bad comment to me! He starts going on about how he wants me to know this is never going anywhere (nothing too new) but then he decides to tell me WHY. And he gave me a million and one reasons about why I'd be a horrible girlfriend. Mind you I'm high on brownies so I'm barely processing what's going on. Not being able to say what I wanted sucked. But this was how I was feeling.

"Our foundation wasn't strong to begin with, it's unstable"
Okay yeah I know I fucked you when I met you, but honestly I don't thin k neither one of us saw this shit lasting as long as it did. And that shouldn't really mean shit NOW, but whatever.If the foundation was so unstable you know what people in construction do? They START OVER. Yeah I fucked you that night but remember I didn't fuck myself! Fuck the whole "well I'm the guy I'm supposed to try to sleep with you you're not always supposed to let me." You can also keep it in your pants too. That makes you no better in the foundation building process.


"You fuck every guy you meet you have like a constant rotation of guys. I know I read your blog."
Idk why this was even an issue when he has a steady rotation of other bitches he fucks too. Like I can't even count on my hand the number of bitches he fucked when he moved, not to mention he fucked that bitch the weekend I was staying at his house. When I think about the guys I slept with and I think about that bullshit he pulled I think mine was the lesser of the two evils.I never told him to his face about other guys, and I let him know the only reason I still fucked other people was because he wasn't always around. Like wtf do you expect me to do? Be monogamous to someone who clearly isn't being it himself? You're gonna get yours and I'm gonna get mine. And for him to accuse me of sleeping with every guy that shit is laughable because if he knew anything he'd know his dick has made me VERY picky. I refuse to settle for less when it comes to sex. I'd rather have no sex than bad sex, hence the 6 month drought before I met him. But he'll continue to think what he wants.

"How do we tell our grandkids how we met? That's not something we can tell them."
First off, why are you thinking about GRANDKIDS?!?!?! We just skipped our own huh...And the answer is you tell them the truth: I met you thru a mutual friend in the parking lot of liquor king. I don't see a problem with that. Of course you leave the sex out, but when you're talking to kids you leave sex out regardless so....I don't see the issue here.BUT it's apparent to me that you HAVE considered what a future with me would be like. Noted.

"Why would you drive 5 hours to go visit someone? Just to go visit."
OMG. He will NOT let this shit go!!! Idk how many times I have to tell him that I didn't sleep with someone I consider to be a brother. And not "brother" like some of you bitches say where you fuck on the under. Like actual almost blood brother. The idea of even seeing him naked in a sexual manner turns my stomach. But he has it in his head that I already did it, which probably explains why he fucked that bitch in the next room over when I was there. I didn't sleep with him end of discussion.


"I don't know anything about you. You never talk to me."
Only because YOU made me feel that way! I felt like I could never just be like "hey what's up" or anything for fear of getting ignored. Although very low it still feels like a form of rejection to me so I just choose not to do it. The few times early on I did try to invite you to come out with our mutual friends you'd always say no, so I just stopped asking. You don't know anything about me because you CHOOSE not to. Just as easily as I could've talked to you you could've said hi to me too. At least that way I would know it wasn't taboo to hit you up for only sex. And I never talk to you because I felt if I did you would think "Oh, this girl is catching feelings" when that wouldn't be the case all the times. Humans communicate when there's an issue, something we never did until shit hit the fan. We had no regular communication. When you say "I know when you're mad because you get really quiet" you still would'nt ask what was wrong, and I felt we had that emotional disconnect so I come here to vent and say the things I want. Speaking of which:

"Why didn't you stop blogging about me when I asked? Some of the things I read I'm like, 'Oh, this is what she was thinking at that moment?' And some of the stuff you say is kind of hurtful."
 Okay apparently this blog is another roadblock. I did stop blogging about him for a while, usually just a one line mention to let everyone know we were still seeing each other, but there wouldn't be full blogs dedicated to him. But then after a while I thought, damn I have nothing to write about. And how dare someone who isn't my boyfriend ask me to stop doing something I was doing before I met them? If he wanted to be my boyfriend and expressed his dislike for it I would've fully taken it into consideration out of respect for my relationship. But when you tell me you only want a casual hookup then you have no say in what I choose to do in my spare time. And if you guys have been following me a long time you know that 98% of the time everything I have to say about him is nothing short of stellar. The only times I would say "bad" things is when he would start acting stupid. But I've never tried to tear down his character on purpose simply because I like him too much.

"And then you strip every weekend for disgusting ass men. How do you ever expect a man to take you serious?"
There are plenty of guys who are mature and that do. You are the one with the issue. Me dancing was never a problem when I would treat you to lunch was it? If dancing was something that you had trouble with we should've talked about it, and not in a "Oh, if you wanna marry a Mexican you gotta stop dancing." Just tell me YOU don't like it. Smh and to think I was actually considering not doing it anymore so I could be more available for him. Glad I didn't. Once again if you were thinking about dating me and it was an issue then you should've spoken up instead of being all jealous. I dance naked yeah but that's it. I don't meet up with these guys after and fuck them I just fucking dance. But like I said when you say  you only want a casual hookup why should my job even matter? Noted.

"Trying to date you now would just be weird. I can't see myself calling you up and being like 'Hey, lemme take you to dinner'"
Well, that's not my fault. I don't see how us going to dinner is any different than us going to Tito's and hanging out and talking.


"You only use me for sex. You've hit me up for sex before. Like you get so mad when I don't fuck you."
HAH!!!!!!!!!! Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing? You don't wanna date me so why should I act like I want you for anything else? Sir, The number of times I've asked you for sex over the last two years I can probably count on my hand. They nowhere near add up to the amount you've hit me up for it. How are you gonna tell me "It's just sex" and then get mad at me for only hitting you up when I want sex? Sorry that I like your dick a lot.

"Why haven't you had a boyfriend? I feel like you're holding out for me or something when it's not going to happen."
So because I've never told you "Oh hey I have a boyfriend now we have to stop this" it means I'm holding out for you? Okay. There have been other guys I've actually been interested in dating sans the sex and it just never works out. Why? I don't know but it wasn't because you were in the back of my head. Because why would I choose someone who doesn't want to bring me around his friends over someone who would? That makes no sense.

"I just don't wanna lead you on because I've been hurt before I got cheated on...blah blah blah."
Oh you got cheated on huh? That was around the time I remember you told me you loved another girl. As you sat in my car having a post sex cigarette. Sounds like cheating to me. And why do you care so much about whether you're gonna hurt me or not (even though this entire conversation is killing me). Someone who doesn't have feelings for me wouldn't give two shits. And you think NOW, two years later is a good time to be like "I should probably speak up about my intentions." Cause there is no way in hell I could like you after all this time? Okay. Why does something I said two years ago matter now?! Noted.

"There may have been times when I tried to act all romantic but it just isn't going to work."
That makes no sense. But okay.

"You're just a sex addict like you want sex all the time."
When has this ever been an issue?! Okay yeah, I like having sex a lot but what does that have to do with anything? If you were my boyfriend I'd obviously want to do more than just fuck you all the time. But you aren't. And the sex happens to be amazing. Sorry for wanting to have amazing sex with you all the time.

"Like honestly, I wrote you off the night I met you and you fucked me."
If that was the case, if you wrote me off two years ago why are we still doing this? If you already decided you didn't want to ever be with me then why do you give two shits about whether I only use you for sex or whatever it is you think I do? I mean I'm not an idiot, I wasn't born yesterday. I didn't expect us to get together, get married and start popping out kids in the house with the white picket fence. I never tried to pressure you into making me  your girlfriend. I kinda knew this was only going to be fun sex but you flipped all this shit and made it unfun. It's like knowing there's a dead body in the next room over. You know it's there but you're smart enough not to go open the door and see it. You just keep going on about your business with that dead body in the back of your mind. Well, you fucking kicked down the door and held my eyes open and made me look at it. You don't wanna be with me, fine. But why do you want to have this conversation now?! What the fuck did I do to piss you off that night? He brought up that he thought it was cool that I would listen to him talk about his goals and dreams or whatever may have been on his mind. Yeah, I did that shit because I was genuinely interested and like hearing you talk about things you're passionate about. For you to just genuinely be as hurtful as possible. If you had no feelings for me we shouldn't even be having this conversation.

The night basically ended with me asking him what this means, if he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said no that's not what it means, and that we've had "epic sex" and it's been fun and whatnot. SO. I guess my pussy is the only thing that kept you coming back all these years? That's a warning to the guys I haven't met yet. Watch out for my killa cocaine cooch. You'll be addicted after one dose. I was barely processing what was going on the entire night because I was under the influence of that stupid brownie. He said he just wanted to tell me he doesn't wanna date me and he's sorry that this turned into a big thing. I couldn't even look at him. Half because I didn't want to, half because the tears were stinging my eyes. We've argued before, but this time felt different. I've never cried before but this conversation was hurting me and I couldn't figure why. He asked me to walk to the door with him and I'm thinking for what? After all that shit you think I should still keep doing shit for you, no matter how small. I don't even know what the fuck I was feeling, I just wanted to vanish into nothingness. I went home and cried.
I cried like a little bitch.
I woke up the next morning and decided to go to work. I cried the entire way there.
At work I was a mess. I had a customer ask me how my day was going and I had to look away because I felt my eyes burning and that lump in my throat again.
I feel my eyes burning again as I write this.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I fell for a very charming asshole with good dick.
Even though he said he didn't wanna stop seeing me I haven't heard from him since.
And that was on October 13th.
I figured I'd give him space, and waited about a month before I reached out to him.
I didn't get a response.
Guess he found someone else though. My friend called me and told me the things she was seeing on his twitter and how a picture of him and his girl was posted 3 days before I hit him up.
I don't allow myself to care much for this very reason. I never check his fb, twitter, instagram or anything because you don't look under a rock and get mad when you find dirt. Still didn't make it any easier.
Here we are in December now and nothing's changed. Every day it gets easier but there are those times when it really sucks.

So from what I've gathered I'm a sex addicted whore of a stripper who wants nothing more in life than to fuck millions of people. Or something to that effect. Noted. My whole take on the night honestly was that he started to catch feelings but since I'm not the "ideal" girlfriend model for him, he basically had to go thru an entire laundry lists of reasons about why it wouldn't work. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to "inform" and "protect my feelings". Judging me by the shit I do as a single person doesn't reflect the type of person I'd be as a girlfriend. You'll never know what type of girlfriend I'd be unless you gave it a shot. Which you refuse to do. You never know the outcome of anything until you try. But hey, it is what it is. I hope you find what you're looking for.

"That moment when you want them to care as much as you find yourself caring, you then realize that they might not ever! Afraid to move on, leaving a small window of possibility, as you sit near it looking out!"
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

It Was The Best Of Times...

Well for those that are wondering, everything basically went to shit with Happenis. He is onto...other things while I'm basically back at square one. But whatever. It is what it is. So lemme just set the scene for you guys. Sorry for those of you that liked him because after this you might not. Hell, I'm not even sure most of the time. The end of a fucking era man.

I work just about every weekend a million miles away. And just like clockwork Happenis tends to hit me up on the weekends. When I'm gone. But on occasion I'd accommodate his drinking schedule by staying for the weekend or whatever. So he hits me up one Friday night asking where I'm at and I tell him I'm gone and he goes on about how I'm always gone when he's on point and when am I coming back. He tells me if when I come back if I get him drunk he'll be on for the entire night. I tell him I may even take a winter vacation from work if he's good and he sent me a huge smiley. Now, let's forget I had JUST gotten to work which is 4 HOURS away. I had stars in my eyes thinking about what the next night had in store for me. I didn't even stay in town for a full 24 hours before I was back on the freeway headed home. He had a friend who thought my friend was cute so we were going to do a double not date date thing that night. I get home, wash my hair, shower, do my makeup, I had been waxed earlier that week, everything was right. I had on a body hugging sweater dress on, leggings, knee high boots...I looked fucking amazing. So I picked him and his friend (the "threesome" dude that I still don't particularly care for but have let much of my animosity subside) up and we went to a party. When we stopped for gas and booze, he started eating the snickers I bought earlier. Bitch. But when I said something he fed me a bite. Which was nice. On the way to the party "Flash" by Iggy Azalea came on and when she goes "This pussy's yours baby, this pussy's yours baby" his friend pipes up and says "Awww this sounds like you guys" and out of nowhere he gets all defensive "What? No it doesn't! This could describe anyone." Like seriously dude chill.

Round One.
When we pulled up I was getting ready to get out the car and he grabs me by the wrist and tells me to let our friends go on ahead and get acquainted. I was just trying to get my weed brownie. He climbs in the backseat and I end up getting out the car to get into the back. He wants to fool around for a little bit and while we were really close to the house and completely obvious I was still game. I blew him for a little bit just as a teaser and when he said "Okay that's enough" I'm thinking time to party. No, he meant no more bj time for sex. I figure might as well. Started with me on top and then we switched. He slunk down in the middle seat and I sat on top facing the front of the car. I was getting cramped so I opened the sun roof and popped my head out. Then I head laughing and "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn". So I went back into the car and he told me stop being obvious. Instead I lay on my stomach across the seats with my ass in the air and he lies on top of me. Nice. Too many cars kept driving by so we decided to wrap it up and go inside.
As soon as I got to the house the first word out my friend's mouth is "WHORE!" So much for trying to be secretive lol. Before I could even enjoy myself I had to make a beer run and when I came back my girlfriends were leaving! I guess while I was gone Happenis got himself into a little bit of shit with the owner of the house. Can't take him nowhere.


Round Two.
He drags me on to the balcony where he proceeds to take one of his epic hour long pisses and I'm embarrased because there's someone ELSE who lives below the balcony. He's basically pissing on their doorstep. And since it's falling from a million feet above it's loud as shit. Ugh! When he finishes he grabs my ass and I'm like oooooooh no, not here! He's like were young, and having public spontaneous sex keeps things interesting. First he tries to bend me over the ledge. That lasted about two seconds before his friend stepped onto the balcony. After some I told you so's and I can't's his friend agrees to stand guard. We move to the stairs and since I have on leggings tucked into my boots I was basically immobile. I ended up just keeping my feet together and I sat on him. Everything was going great.
Until the back door opened.
And it was NOT his friend.
In fact, I had no clue who this dude was. And he just stared at us. Mind you my entire ass is out and his pants are by his ankles. After a fucking eternity I just said "Sup" and he turned and went back inside. Then I heard all the cheers. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life. The people that were throwing the party I love partying with them but I don't know if we were at the stage where I could just show up at the house with a stranger and have sex in their back yard.

Round Three.
I refused to go back inside and he gets all mad like "Well wtf do you wanna do? Just stay outside??" We walk downstairs towards the alley and he stops me and pulls my leggings down. AGAIN? Oh, okay you convinced me. He gives me his sweater to put my knees on so I'm back outside with my ass in the air and one boot on with my leggings flapping to the side. We tried to be quiet, but even with me being quiet that didn't stop our bodies from giving it away. Since I wasn't facing the house he saw whoever was outside first, pushed me down and told me to be quiet and all I hear is "Give her a sec..." I'm like shut up don't say that!!! Now everyone knows I've been having sex all night. Perf.

Round Four.
After I get myself together (again) we start walking down the alley. Around this point my brownie starts hitting. I can't remember exactly what we talked about, but towards the end of the alley there was a lot with a car. I know the drill by now: face down, ass up. Weed makes sex sooooo much fun. We made a makeshift pallet with my boots and his sweater. I laid on my back and propped myself up on my elbows. He grabbed me by the ankles and it felt so good I just said to hell with my clean hair and laid all the way back. I got back on my knees and he started pulling out. He kept saying "Tell me how you want it.....tell me." He knows how I like it he just likes hearing me say it. Sir, fuck me good, fuck me long, fuck me numb. Fucking great. Sir, spank me please. Sir, choke me just a little bit. I just remember thinking this shit is perfect. He finished and said "I think I came in you a little bit." Good thing I'm on birth control. And I trust you. HAH!!!!! (More on that later tho).

Round Five.
As I put my leggings and boots back on he wants to have sex again. Seriously?! What has gotten into this man? I'm not complaining tho. I'm enjoying this shit. I can never get enough of his disco stick. NEVER. He's back behind me, my face is basically in the gravel I got rocks and shit in my mouth (ICK). I noticed his hat fell off so I put it on and I swear he grabbed the bill of the hat and went harder. This time he asked for my face and I let him finish in my mouth. Still sucking and making eye contact while he came I knew he loved that shit. And my eye makeup made my eyes look really pretty too. Double win. I get dressed for the time being and we're walking and he tells me when I put his hat on he was like "Oh fuck. It was a turn on it was like I was fucking myself." Um. Okay. Lol. We walk and talk about me remembering his birthday and him never remembering mine even tho we're only 5 days apart. Before I grew the balls to finally go inside the house to retrieve my stuff he tells me he appreciates me and the things I do for him and for me to know he isn't trying to use me. Awww. His friend is gone so we decide to hit up Titos for tacos. And I order him his California burrito just the way he likes: no onion, add beans and rice, sour cream and guac and no green salsa, only red. Plus extra limes. And a horchata. We sit in the parking lot and he asks me if I could change one thing in my life big or small what would it be. The first thing I wanted to say was I kinda wish I had never slept with you the night we met. Like maybe then things could've been different. But then I think if my tire hadn't blown out that night and I went home would he even be bothered with wanting to see me again or if it would've been like "Oh this cute girl came to a party at my house" and that was that. But I have always felt that I can't show THAT side of me because he has constantly reiterated that he doesn't wanna be my boyfriend. So why not keep the mushy shit to myself and continue to have the best sex ever? I lied and said some fuck shit about my biological father and he nodded and said "Oh okay. Wow that's deep". I keep wondering what would've happened had I said what was originally on my mind.

Round Six.
I got ready to drop him off and when I grabbed something out of my purse he noticed the bottle of lube I had. So when I pulled up it was back to the backseat. I don't think I've ever had intense sex like that IN MY LIFE. Like...as gay and corny romantic love novel-ish as it may sound the feeling of pleasure was so intense I thought my head was going to explode and I was going to spontaneously combust.  I climbed on top of him and put my feet on the seat and held on to his neck while he fucked me. I came about three times. After having sex all night my vag was hurting like A LOT even with the lube. I tried to quit because every time he slipped out and had to stick it back it hurt. He sensed my discomfort and would just ram the shit back in saying "You're always saying I don't fuck you enough huh? Don't try to quit now. Don't you EVER tell me I don't fuck you enough." Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I won't do it againmmmmmmmmufhajufhdafcjuisoayfujsaynfucjola. I came about three times that night. He finally wore himself out and we agreed to call it a night.

He put his pants on.
Got out the car.
Then all hell broke loose.

Miss Sixxxty, your very lonely freak of the industryy

Random Shit.

 Sorry if this blog doesn't make sense or seeming  hella all over the place. I just need to vent some shit. So there won't be any steamy or funny sex stories but you are free to continue to read into the inner workings of my mind. Lol

Took a mini hiatus but I'm bored so I thought I'd blog. A bunch of shit has been happening and my life low key feels like its in shambles. But whatever. Those wondering about Happenis I think he needed some "Me" time. Or whatever. So for the time being (or maybe forever) he is not around. But enough about that.

Puss In Boots made a random ass appearance. He wanted me to come visit him when I was in town and I did...and everything was...different. I don't know if it's because he's no longer my friends roommate and the bald headed cock blocking ass bitch is no longer a problem or if its something else but it just wasn't fun anymore. Just kinda like...Just get behind me and hurry up. I don't want any eye contact whatsoever. Which is sad because we had fun sex. I even shotgunned a bowl with him and it didn't help. I was more concerned with making it to work on time that night. After that little detour I made it a point not to hit him up anymore or make any out of the way visits. Same with the Gummy Bear Dude. I didn't even make it all the way thru before tapping out. I couldn't do it! And I haven't slept with him since the summer. I'm just so over having to fake it all the fucking time. And I have gotten really good at faking it. Sad. Facial expressions, back arches, breathing, the whole nine. I just wanna be with the one person I never have to fake it with lol. I'm a good person. I deserve good sex in return damnit! It's like every time I step out on a good thing some bad shit goes down and I'm just left scratching my head like whaa..? But at the same time I have no choice BUT to step out. I'm really left with no options. Which sucks. Because I have these awesome pot brownies courtesy of an angel named Kitty that make me extremely horny ad I'd like to not waste them on bogus ass sex. THC just takes mind blowing sex to on the verge of dying of ecstasy sex. I'm over here rationing them like I'm actually about to get good sex lol when it's been over a month now. If anything does happen they'll probably be spoiled by then.
I've had prospects but none that genuinely pique my interest. It feels hopeless. "Oh but there are soooo many other penises in the sea" I know this and a bitch isn't trying to go thru all of them to find one.

Now, there is ONE that I'm interested in tho, the situation is just highly complicated. His name? El Capitan. He was my adorable old boss, but not anymore! I'd always joke with the girls that he'd better not let me catch him in a dark hallway alone, otherwise I'd ambush him. I work in a sexually charged environment so he'd always flirt back with me too. Only problem is, he has a girlfriend. And because of that I never did anything TOO over the top, out of a kind of respect for their "institution". But there was just sooooo much sexual tension between us. Now that he isn't my boss anymore, that was one less issue to worry about. I's still text him every now and then to see how life was after the club and he seemed to be doing just fine. The conversation soon turned sexual (as it always tends to) but this time instead of him asking about my sex life with other people we got into my potential sex life with him. He's known I've been attracted to him for the longest and he hits me up with the ol' "Well why didn't you speak up sooner? cause maybe I wanted you too..." I reminded him he had a girlfriend and it wasn't really my place to be telling him and he was just like so..? Apparently he's in a "cookie drought" and he was telling me all the things he wanted to do to me if we were to ever be alone together. SCORE. Is it bad that I still want to sleep with him knowing he has a girlfriend? Yes. Do I care? No. Why should I? If he's the one that's supposed to be in love and he doesn't, I won't either. He's the one who has to live with the fuck up, not me. Anyways towards the end of the convo his answers became really short and I figured he was starting to bitch out. WTFAAAAAAACK.
I'm really picky when it comes to cheating. Me being the SINGLE person I am it doesn't bother me too much because I am single and will do whatever the fuck I please. The one thing I DON'T like is when a dude will lie about being in a relationship and I find out. Because you didn't give me the option as to whether I wanted to go thru with it. I'd like to know ahead of time so I can be like "Hmm...is it gonna be worth it (to me)?" There are also the dudes that I barely know exist but I know about their relationships and they try to be sneaky by being in my DM or FB inbox. That shit just works my everlasting nerves. I know this probably makes no sense to you but in my head it makes perfect sense. I think the problem with that is because I don't know them, I have no sexual tension with them and I probably don't even find them attractive. Which makes it not okay in my box. Stay with me here. A lot of those guys are lucky I'm not too much into childish behavior or I'd be screenshotting the fuck out their ain't shit asses. Just don't come at me wrong on the wrong day tho. You have been warned.
But back to El Capitan that shit just pissed me off because I told him at the beginning I didn't want to admit to anything because it wouldn't make a difference since he had a girl. But he insisted with the dirty talk so I just followed suit. I don't know what happened at the end of the convo but it sounded to me like he was getting guilty already and I haven't even seen him in person in weeks. I hate people that get guilty on me. Either you're gonna go thru with it or you're not but don't bitch out half way thru. Just a waste of unlimited text messages. One of my coworkers thinks he's just gonna wait for the right moment when he's alone to finish what he started but I'm not so sure. We shall see I guess.

At work this gorgeous Armenian lady with nice boobs came in and got a lap dance from me. She told me she'd never cheat on her husband but that she would just LOVE to be with a girl. And I almost let her take me home. Almost. Boy, what a blog that would've been.

Idk if I'm just lonely r if it's because cuffing season is in full effect out here, but sleeping alone sucks. I like having a body next to me, even if there isn't any sex or cuddling involved. Ah hell.

I have a lot more to write about, but I'm just gonna wait it out before I say anything stupid. Ha, Happenis stole my happy and my penis. How funny.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Shit Happenis Says

Hayy y'all. It's now been two years since I first started banging the fuck out of Happenis...or rather he's been banging the shit out of me. Thru all the good sex and bad sex, trivial fights and even ER visits, we still manage to keep things going. And since he's usually drunk he's usually spewing out the most ridiculous comments. And I figure I'd share them with you:)

"I feel like you're waling around with 15 of my kids inside you" (words after sex)

"See? I have personality. There's more to me than just my big cock."

Me: Are you hungry?
Him: Yeah, if robertitos and my cock are on your mind

Him: Are you mad at me?
Me: no. (yes)
Him: your a bitch.
Me: why because I'm irritated?!?!
*Couple hours later*
Him: Are you done being mad?
Me: Depends...am I still a bitch?
Him: Nope.
Me: then no.
Him: kk come over

Him: wanna?
Me: aaaaaaahhh!!! I'm on the road!
Him: how far
Me: mmm like an hour
Him: Nvm
*throws phone across car*
*an hour later*
Him: kk come get me

A normal convo between us:
Him: fix?
Me: yeah.
Him: come
Me:omw
Him: kk
Me: outside
Him: kk

*First ER visit*
Me: You ripped me a new one.
Him: Oops. weird lol

Me: yes and kinda painful lol

Him: Welcome lol

Me: I had to explain it to 6 different people last night

Him: "I was getting beasted and couldn't handle it. *sigh*"

Me: oh whateverrrrr that was all you lol

Him: I beasted you

Me: No you stabbed me lol

Him: BEASTMODE

Me: cheap shot

Him: KILLER INSTINCTS

Me: Killer instincts my ass

Him: Man if pole dancing's a art you know how many fucking artists I know?
Me: one
Him: one

Him: bomb pussy. no babies!
Me: thank you. bomb dick.
Him: I mean it! No babies.

"You piss me off a thousand times a month, I swear. But I still fucking love you."

*waves fingers in my face*
Him: My fingers were in you. This is what you smell like
*blows air in his face*
Me: That's what YOU smell like.

"You want my cock soooo bad....it's gonna cost you though. I don't do any black friday deals"

"Sorry if your pussy is sore. No fucking babies"

Him: Where are you going?
Me: To clean up the mess you made. I'm messy.
Him: you really need to stop peeing on yourself.
Me: shut. up. 

"I don't want you to think I'm saying this just because you write about me or because I'm coming down from being drunk, but your blog is really good, you're good at writing and telling a story."

Him: Just grab it
Me: No! I'm not gonna get you hard. I'm driving! And you're not about to attack me.
Him: I won't get hard and you only have to shift until you get into what, like 3rd gear? Just touch it. I won't get hard.
*grabs it*
Me: I thought you said you weren't gonna get hard!
Him: I mean you ARE touching my dick what did you expect?

Him: I think I came inside you
Me: what else is new?
Him: what do you mean?
Me: lol you do it all the time!
Him: dude stand up I don't want you having my babies
Me: lol then start pulling out
Him: how am I supposed to and you're laying there screaming my name telling me not to stop?

"You gotta understand from a guy's point of view though. Sending a girl to the ER cause she couldn't handle it is hilarious. I'm not gonna be like 'Oh, are you alright? Is your pussy okay?' I'm gonna laugh."

"You get so mad when I don't fuck you for 2 hours. Guess I've just set the standard too high for myself."

"Sometimes I just get into beast mode and fuck for four hours. I remember I fucked you for like three and you started complaining about your pussy hurting. It wasn't THAT bad."

"I don't want you having my babies ok, but if we had kids they'd have big dicks and big asses"

"You're welcome"

*during sex*
"Oh you called other guys tonight before you called me huh? You tryna see other guys? Go ahead answer it. Pick that shit up" 

"Look. I have a hundred dollar bill in my room. I'm gonna go to the bank and cash it for singles. Then the next time we fuck while I'm fucking you doggy style I'm gonna be slapping your ass and I'm gonna make it rain on your back saying 'Alright alright alright you gon learn today'. And we're gonna get it all on camera"

Him: What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT.
Me: Whaaaaat? What what?
Him: Are you on your fucking period dude?
Me: What? No I don't even get a period I'm on the shot *grabs fingers* you don't even have blood on your fingers what are you talking about?
Him: What is THAT *tugs on string* feels like a tampon are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: Oh god yeah I forgot that was there................
Him: Why are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: It's complicated!!
Him: You seriously just made my boner disappear.

*hacks my facebook*
"My vagina feels amazing"
"Hello my name is 'Loves Happenis's cock: )"

It's never a dull moment with this dude. One time we recorded us in my backseat and when we went to get tacos he just starts watching it while we're in line. -_______-. But he's pretty dope in the sack if I do say so myself so...yeah. Lol.

Dick so good - give up your facebook password, tell all your high school jump offs to stop calling you (seriously this time), cooking sunday style dinners on wednesday just cause that's "y'all" day to chill, and let him hit right after leaving the salon! -Anonymous
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy

Oh Happenis...

FINALLY. I actually have some damn time to sit here and write about the telenovela drama known as Happenis and I. I've gotten so lazy when it comes to writing about him and i have no clue why. Especially since everyone likes him so much (when he isn't being an ass).
Basically what happened was our sex life hit a speed bump. He had stopped drinking, and as we all know we can only have (good) sex when he's drunk. So The night I dressed up in the school girl outfit he came over, fucked me for a little bit, then watched Gulliver's Travels (that movie is funny as fuck idgaf what ANYONE says) and he refused to fuck me again so I made him leave. The next time I saw him he fucked em in his bang bus rapist van (he has a car now!) and once again it wasn't that long. I was so confused as to what the fuck was going on. This was so unlike him! The next time I saw him it literally lasted five minutes and I was PISSED. Halfway thru I noticed he was slowing down which meant he was about to cum but he wasn't ready. I stopped moving and told him "Nope. Not again." and he said it'll be more than once calm down. As soon as he said that he busted and reneged on his deal. "Well maybe it will just be once". You asshole! I was snatching my clothes and condoms off the floor and he was asking me why I was so mad and I should be happy I got something. Now, I was slightly intoxicated and I said some not so nice things to him like

"That was bullshit. you could've kept that!"
"The drive over here was longer than the actual sex"
"Idk what's going on with you but if it's gonna continue to be like this I don't wanna do this anymore."

Well, he didn't like that last part so he hit me with "Well I'm moving away anyways so tonight was the last time. I'm doing me. No drinking. No parties. Goodnight." and I was like well fuck you too then! I assumed we were officially over but I knew better than that! About three weeks later he hit me up asking if I was awake and "yes I'm intoxicated" But damnit I was at work! I swear he has the best fucking timing ever. The week after I decided to take a day off to see him. I was kinda super drunk that night so everything is a bit fuzzy. I remember going to his house and us having sex briefly, and then he said something about my boobs to which I answered "Oh whatever don't act like you don't like them", He wouldn't say yes so I literally followed him down the street to his friend's house like a crazy person with my dress half on and he was telling his friend to tell me I had nice boobs so I'd go home. I think I punched him and bit him on the man titty. Smh. And his friend told me "Nice african dress". It was a blue, pink & white dress with cheetah print -__________-. I left, came back with a burrito and we had sex again. I was only semi satisfied with his performance, but def an upgrade from the last few times.

CUT TO this past Friday. He hit me up last week while I was at work AGAIN (like he doesn't know my work schedule by n ow) and even tho I had just taken a friday off two weeks prior, I decided I needed another "vacation" day. Once again I got drunk, got tacos and picked him up. He had his friend with him so we went and kicked it with some of my other friends where everyone was drinking and smoking. And I kept encouraging him to keep drinking beer and taking shots lol. Around 4 we dropped his friend off then went to his house. I go into his room while he grabs another beer from the fridge and I start getting undressed. He took the last few magnums I had left out the car and brought them inside. I could see his boner thru his pants and it just made me oh so happy. I swear he has the nicest dick I've ever seen. He puts on some music, turns the lights down and pushes me down on the bed. Face down, ass up. He gets behind me, he's got a beer in one hand and my ass in the other and he starts going slow and I'm trying to figure out which way the night was gonna go. He puts the beer down and then digs his nails into my hips and I'm like ohhhh yeahhh. THIS is the shit that got me hooked. Going so deep it sounds like you've got your own "applause" light that's that shit I DO like. He pushes me down again so I'm laying flat on my stomach while it seems like he's putting all his weight on the small of my back so I can't move. He still hasn't skipped a beat so I'm in la la land. I know I was being loud as fuck but I really didn't care. Ol' rude ass lol I seriously hope it isn't loud enough for everyone on the other side of the house to hear. He would go between pushing me down and then snatching me back up by a fistful of my hair. He'd pull me up so far that he'd choke me with his other hand which is all I ever want in life anyways. He pushed me back down put this time put my legs together and had his legs outside of mine and started drinking his beer again. He started off slow, then started hitting me with those hard deep strokes and he slipped out.
And missed again.
Shit Happens all over again.
But this time I wasn't gonna let that stop me. He laid on his back and I started riding him reverse cowgirl. First on my feet with my back straight. I know he's enjoying the view because he just keeps calling my name with a couple "oh fucks" thrown in there and some ass slappings in between. Then I got on my knees and elbows and rode him slow so he could see it going in and out and I think he liked that better cause every time I'd get tired and would try to get back on my feet he'd push me hella hard back on my elbows lol. After a while he got tired of watching me work so he sat up and spread my legs to east jesus nowhere and took over. I love being fucked rather than doing the fucking cause he hits my g spot better. So while he's getting all wild and crazy I can hear myself getting louder so I bury my face in the mattress and boom I feel him push me away and when I turned around he goes "Oh hey, there's blood". I decided NOT to swallow this time and he walks out the room to go clean up. When he stabbed me with his dick earlier that night I bled a bit. He comes back in eating chips and guac just staring at me with a huge ass boner and I can't take my eyes off it. And even tho the HBIC is throbbing I put my clothes back on.
I get ready to leave and he starts slapping me on the ass and I'm like can I help you sir? He finishes his chips and pulls his dick back out and I'm like round two? I'm not complaining. Get back down on my hands and knees and he grabs his beer and takes a swig. Halfway in I felt him spit before he went all the way in, and normally this irks me but tonight it turned me on a lil bit not even gonna lie. I didn't even bother to take my shirt off so instead of pulling my hair he pulls my shirt and bra instead. I'm trying my hardest to make sure I don't run from him but I guess I wasn't trying hard enough because he shoved my face into the mattress and grabbed my arm behind my back so I couldn't move. And I loved every second of it.
We finished up again and he comes back in with more chips and guac. I get dressed then ask him, where the rest of my condoms were. Last time we wasted three because he kept taking them off, same with tonight. Before I could grab it he grabs it and is like "No, what do you need this for? Who are you gonna have sex with?" So I snatch it back and ask "Who are YOU gonna have sex with?!" and he tells me we should just get rid of it now. I was confused because I was thinking why are we gonna waste a condom? Then he slaps me on the ass a few times and when I turn around he lifts up my shirt and starts rubbing my boobs. I'm like ooooooh okay I gotcha. I open it and hand it to him and put my hands on the wall like I'm under arrest and wait for him to get situated. I take my bra and shirt back off and he slides my pants off and tells me to lay down. I get on my back and he puts my shoulders on his legs and leans ALL the way down. I have to grab my ankles to keep my legs from shaking. It barely works tho, seeing as to my knees were in my damn ears. This is like the best and worst position ever. It's amazing cause it allows for deeper penetration, but at the same time I can't move and when he goes too deep I get a dull ache in my stomach or uterus or whatever the fuck starts hurting, and my legs start shaking like crazy. He is literally throwing his whole body weight into these thrusts and I think my head is about to explode. I can't do shit but dig my nails into his back. He sits up keeping my legs on his shoulder but picking up the pace. I'm just being loud for no reason whatsoever with the baby yes's oh my god's and fuck's and whatnot...I would had to see myself in a porn...He pulls out and flips me over on my stomach and literally KILLS my vag. And the great thing was we came at the same time;) I can't recall if that's ever happened before but tonight it was amazing. And I guess I didn't notice him pull the condom off earlier again cause he came on my ass, threw a sheet on me and wiped me down, then slapped my ass and said "You're welcome". I was still on saturn somewhere. I had no control of my legs whatsoever, they refused to move when I tried getting dressed again, so I just lied there, trying to catch my breath. This fool comes back into the room with a big ass bowl of guac and chips and is just munching away. He sat down next to me and his dick was still pretty hard so I grabbed it just to measure with my fingers how girthy it was. I can make a ring with my index finger and thumb nails touching.
And I wear acrylics.
And I need a fill.
I'll let you use your imagination for that one.
Finally I have some strength in my legs and I get dressed, and he keeps football slapping me on the ass and I get in my car thin king I'm about to drive to LA. Silly girl you can't even push the pedals down because not only are your legs weak but your cooch hurts and everything is too sore to move! So I really just sat in my car in front of his house for half an hour before I hit the road. And when I got to work that night the girls told me I didn't miss anything cause everyone did shitty. Which made my night THAT much better.

And there you have it. There is your Happenis update.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy

The Tampon Incident.

You know at some point in time I would love to not have embarrassing shit happen to me during sex.
But then if it was you guys probably wouldn't enjoy the blog as much. And I'm so glad that it happened with Happenis because I feel if it happened with anyone else, that would be that. My 4th of July was very "eventful".

I ended up going to a party that night and started taking shots of Three Olives Loopy vodka. Nothing good comes out of drinking Three Olives ANYTHING. It was a holiday so I knew Happenis would be out drinking and I was almost guaranteed to get some dick that night. I had gotten ready earlier that night, landscaped and all that jazz. And if you're a man you're not going to understand this next part, girls will understand completely.
 Vaginas get wet. Even when they aren't aroused. So sometimes to make sure everything stays dry and panties stay fresh some girls use panty liners which are basically thin pads. I don't use those so sometimes when I expect to get laid but I decide to go out first I just stick a tamp in to keep stuff dry and whatnot. And that's what I did that night.
Sure enough around midnight he hits me up and is like "Hey do you wanna make some money?" I'm kinda drunk at this point so I'm like HOOOOooOoOoOoW and he was like my friends are looking for a stripper. I told him I'd do it but he had to pay me in dick. He said yeah later and I screamed. I was on the roof at the party I was at and apparently I screamed "I'M GONNA GO MAKE SOME MONEY AND HAVE SEX FOR FREE!!!" I drove to the house and he met me at the door. I went in and said hi to everyone and excused myself to go freshen up a bit before I "performed". I went to the bathroom with the intention of taking it out but then Happenis knocked on the door before he barged in. I was like "Get out!!! I'm tryna get readaaay." He really didn't give two shits cause he started peeing. I'm glad he feels comfortable around me like that. Not to mention he pees for like 5 minutes straight. After he finishes I push I'm out the bathroom and he's like don't push me. He ended up getting the last laugh tho because the light switch was on the OUTSIDE of the bathroom. So he kept shutting the light off distracting me and whatnot. After checking my hair and makeup I put on my shoes and went back out. He stopped me before going out back with the boys and he's like follow me. We find an empty bedroom and he grabs me by my waist and I'm like "Ooooh right now? But your friensssss" And he tells me they made a beer run and to get a quickie in. Fine by me. So I pulled my shorts down..................
Got on top of the bed........................................................
I'm on all fours and he sticks his finger in me and then
it HAPPENED.

Him: What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT.
Me: Whaaaaat? What what?
Him: Are you on your fucking period dude?
Me: What? No I don't even get a period I'm on the shot *grabs fingers* you don't even have blood on your fingers what are you talking about?
Him: What is THAT *tugs on string* feels like a tampon are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: Oh god yeah I forgot that was there................
Him: Why are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: It's complicated!!
Him: You seriously just made my boner disappear.

How fucking embarrassing. I feel if he was any other guy he'd get freaked out and the mood would be ruined, but seeing as to how I've already bled all over the man how much worse can it get (let me not even jinx myself)...Guess it goes back to that comfort level.

I stumbled off to the bathroom to hurry up and take it out then went back to the room. It didn't bother him TOO much because his boner magically returned. He bent me over at the waist on the bed and I just tried to make sure my drunk ass kept quiet. Which is next to impossible but I can to it. Just as it was starting to get really good we had to stop because the other boys were coming back. We went to join the others out back and I was trying my best not to look freshly fucked. I introduced myself and one of his friends asked how we met. Went something like this.

HIS VERSION: Welp. I didn't really see her until we went to my house and I was carrying my keg shirtless...I had been hitting the gym and she liked what she saw and the rest is history.

MY VERSION: I was with my friend at liquor king and we met up with him and I said hi blah blah blah he said "damn who is that" blah blah blah he was shirtless blah blah blah my tire popped blah blah blah then um yeaaaaaaaaah.

The private show wasn't gonna go down so we decided to go back to my party. We didn't even make it off the block before he was telling me to pull over. I told him let's just go to the party first and he's like no NOW. Fine. I told him I had a Magnum ecstasy condom and that lasted about 2 minutes before we took it off. We got it in again in the car as per our usual but this time he wedged me between the front seats on my back. Great for my small waist. Not so great for my wide ass hips. He stood straight out the sunroof and slid right on in. He always go deep and hard all the time which is amazeballs but with the e-brake, shifter and center console in my back it was a mix of pleasure & pain. More pleasure tho. I turned my head to the side though because he was thrusting pretty hard and I was afraid the airbags might deploy and snap my neck and kill me. My hips hurt so much from the fresh piercings and because my hip bones were pinched between the seats. But I didn't care because it was fanfuckingtastic. I couldn't even think straight. My mind was all jrehfunqc rlhgfenpjn4zgfrqo43 q['g...we got out the car again and I stood up while he hit from the back. I can't remember if he came on my face or my ass, I just remember wondering why my hair was wet. It's because when I was on my back his super thrusts knocked over my melted frozen strawberry lemonade:/
We drove to the party where everyone liked him, and someone smelled his armpits.......I drank a lil bit more and he was laughing at how much everyone was falling over me. Well duuuuh I'm a pretty lady! After some more shots we left to go back to his place. On the way we stopped and got him a swisher, some peanut m&ms & a pack of ciggs. Gross. We sat and talked in the car for a minute about threesomes and I remember saying something like "no black girls. unless she's ugly. cause I don't want her to look like me. cause I wanna do this with you cause I'm comfortable with you and I don't like strangers but I like you" just babbling like an idiot. I stole his m&ms and he was babbling too and I wasn't paying attention cause he looked so cute. I fed him m&ms and told him everything he was saying was all fine and dandy but i didn't care cause he had really nice lips. He said "Do you want to kiss me?" and I said yes. I was being really stupid. But his lips were so damn soft. Went back to his house, put on some drake and had more drunk sex. I'm pretty sure we used the entire bottle of lube because I woke up the next morning sticky as fuck. Some time during the course of our fucking I asked him to kiss my neck and he got all butt hurt and said "no you don't deserve it anymore" and pushed me away. So I pouted and crossed my legs and called him a meanie, then he grabbed me again and we had sex some more. Drunk sex is great. I was thinking how much I appreciated the fact that he always has his balls shaved and how much I appreciate it. Always. Shaved balls are always so much easier to play with. With my tongue.
We decided to finish in the morning and passed the fuck out until about 1. Even with two fans I woke up sweating. I was like what the hell? I couldn't tell if I was wet or just sweaty...We were both on our backs, blankets off, then I saw his morning wood come to life. Next thing I knew he started stroking it, pushed my legs apart and started touching me...climbed on top and had "morning" sex. It was niiiiiiiiiiiiice. After we finished we got dressed and grabbed some lunch before I dropped him off. I was walking around in last night's makeup with lemonade for styling gel. A hot ass fucking mess.
Then I went to lunch with a few friends before I even showered my sins away. Triflin.
But a 4th well spent if I do say so myself.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Return Of Puss In Boots

I knew he wasn't gonna stay away for long...
You don't have sex 4 consecutive times and then be like "No...we can't do this anymore."
So the following week after all the bullshit went down I told myself fuck him. I mean we weren't friends...and if we're not fucking...then what do I really need to talk to you for? I would be civil and respect the man in his house but that's about it. He was leaving to Mexico on Sunday so I only had to deal with him for a day IF that. I woke up early Saturday morning to charge my phone in the living room, not giving a shit about how I looked at that point and he pokes his head out his room. He tells me good morning and to please excuse his mess in the living room. I had my hair in my face and really didn't care to talk to him. I said morning and not worry about it, then went back to bed. Later that night my friend calls me and she's like "Hey, Puss In Boots wants to ask you something." I'm like what the fuck could he possibly want from ME?! She's like he needs a ride somewhere. This man has my phone number why didn't he call and ask me himself? I told her to tell him to stop being a weenie and to ask me himself. He gets on the phone all nervous asking me for a ride to a check cashing place since he had to be at the airport early in the morning. I told him I'd let him know in about 2 hours when I got off work. My friend messaged me on the under and told me that he was like "Oh man...I'm so tempted to fuck Autumn again (he still calls me by my stage name...) She was tempting me this morning". If I recall correctly I said like 4 words to him and didn't even make eye contact..? What kind of jezebel black magic was I using? But after she told me that I was like challenge accepted.

So I put on a fresh face of makeup and right before I was about to pick him up my friend was like "Oh SHE just came over" That ol' bald headed cock blocking ass bitch! Ever since that say she saw me laying on the couch she clearly felt some type of way. For weeks I didn't know she even existed then that day she saw me she decided to move in every weekend when I was there. You insecure tramp you are not slick I see what you did there. But then again, you have every right to be insecure. Hah. I mean the shit was her fault anyways telling him she wanted to "keep her options open". Well bitch he just happens to be doing the same. SO after she told me that I decided NOT to pick him up and work the rest of the night. Then he was off to Mexico that day.
I didn't see him that week because he was gone and I took the weekend off for Happenis. With the whole threesome sitchy Happenis and I decided to meet up in LA on Tuesday, but due to some bullshit on his part our plans crashed and burned. But FUCK I was expecting to get some dick that night and I wanted it. My friend and I ended up getting off work early and I told her I was going to sneak in his room and jump on his dick BUT we had to make sure that good ol' cock blocking Betty wasn't there. Sure enough she wasn't and my friend pushed me into his room while he was sleeping. He ended up waking up to the commotion and was asking what was going on. I apologized for waking him and went into the living room to watch tv and he got up and showered. He came out in a towel and robe and went into his room to change. BUT he left the door open while he was changing. Sneaky, sneaky! I told him I wasn't going to watch him to change but that what he was doing wasn't fair. After he got dressed he came into the living room and asked me if I wanted to smoke a bowl with him.........We all know how that goes. I took a hit and once again felt like my face was melting off. I got that nauseous feeling again and couldn't do anything but hug my feet to my chest and breathe. My legs started shaking and shit and I was acting all weird and he kept telling me I was fine, to calm down and it was gonna be okay. Then I started laughing at EVERYTHING. His other roommate was trying to sleep so we went into his room and he was talking about SOMETHING, but it was just funny. He was like "I feel like you're laughing at me" and I mean I was, but only because I was high. He walked over to me and pushed me back on the bed and was like there's a problem here. I didn't know what he was talking about until he started pulling my basketball shorts down telling me he didn't like them. He climbed on top of me for a minute and shot gunned me the last bowl he smoked, then started kissing my neck (fkiwbfueae;bcsanfnchwlhfalofh;p), licking up the side of my neck to my ear then biting my earlobe. He stuck his hands down my shirt and I could be crazy but I swear being high makes my nips extra sensitive. And the shit felt AMAZEBALLS. I had bought a big ass box of magnums earlier that day so I told him to grab them and we got down to business. He ate me out for a minute and before he put the condom he asked me to kiss it. No problem there. Then he asked me to play with his foreskin..................................................and I was just like umm.......how tf do I even do that? The fact that he wouldn't hold it back for me while I was trying to suck it was just.....it was like going over a fleshy speed bump. I didn't particularly like that shit...but I still did it anyways. God I hate foreskin...If I ever have a son I'm getting him snipped. Idgaf if his daddy isn't clipped I'm saving my baby a lot of trouble in the future.
Anyways he puts the condom on and he starts on top. He knows the value in foreplay so I was all ready to go. He was on top for a minute then whispered "You want me to hit it from the back?" Sir, you can hit it any which way you please. He flipped me and I had to stick my ass in the air so that he could hit my spot. I looked back at him briefly and he was thrusting with his hands on his hips lol. It looked funny but felt good so I wasn't about to judge. I threw it back a lil bit and then he came. He mumbled something about doing yoga, put on another condom and started stroking himself hard again. He was just like "fuck this, I'll just get hard in your pussy" Uh, okay. Lol. He put my legs on his shoulders then leaned all the way forward. My knees were by my ears and I was trying to figure out why he was the only guy that could get my legs all the way back without any pain. He asked me if I liked when he got hard inside me and I just pulled his hair. I wanted him to stop talking and to just fuck me lol. He stayed on top the entire time and I couldn't do anything but pull his hair and dig my nails into his back. He had his accent in full effect and my brain was just like hfjhfahefawo jeina fso;af soa;f a mush. He sat back up and put my hands on his waist so I could hold on to him and then BAM. Round two was over. Grabbed another condom and we had sex AGAIN. I think I had one more condom left in the room with me so after we finished the third time he was like lets wait til morning because morning sex is my favorite. Alright whatever you want. As I drifted off to sleep I was thinking mission accomplished.
We woke up the next morning and had sex two more times (we found another condom, woop woop) and I did the walk of shame back to my friends room. I knew he couldn't resist me it was just a matter of time. He hit me up later asking if we could be swingers and go to swingers parties, and I was just thinking "Swingers are couples...and we're not a couple...so...I'm confused" I was tryna figure out why that "friend" couldn't do it, but then I remember he has feelings for her or whatever, and I'm just LOADS of fun. So we can have al the kinky fun and she can have all that romantic shit. That weekend we had sex three more times...It would have been 4 had he let me take advantage of his morning wood, but he didn't :( He was in the process of moving so I understood. The last day in the apt he poked me in the ass with a broomstick to let me know I could still get the D. He just told me to hit him whenever and I made a mental note of it. Good to know you yummy little Columbian.

Good shit. Next blog I gotta tell you about The 4th Of July + Happenis + the tampon "incident" Most embarrassing shit ever.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

The Wait Is Over!!!

Yes!!!!!!!!!! After 6 long ass months of terrible sex............
HAPPENIS HAS RETURNED.
Look at God! But it wasn't all rainbows and sausages. No it wouldn't be right unless he threw a monkey wrench in my plans. So of course he hits me up when I'm at work 5 million miles away. And I swore to myself as soon as I came back home I was gonna take 6 months of frustration out on him. I think I ended up seeing him on a Tuesday night...I got to his house around 2:47ish, magnums in hand wearing the biggest smile ever. We walk to his room and he tells me "You're like a kid in a candy shop right now huh?" I was like how about you just stop talking and give me what I came here for. We get naked and I laid on my back ready for it. He puts the condom on and we literally have sex for like two minutes before he pulls out and tells me the MAGNUM condom I brought him was "too tight"...ol' girthy ass bastard. So I had to run out to the car - naked, mind you - grab some more and navigate his suuuper packed dark ass garage. I walked back into his room and he's just standing there in all his naked glory, dick pointing north like a compass. I couldn't help but smile again. This time I turned around so he could hit from he back and he's just slapping his dick on my ass laughing and he asked me if I was gonna blog about this. I asked him why he was even reading my blog since we haven't fucked in about 6 months.

"You know what I don't even wanna talk about this anymore it's making my dick soft."

Uh huh...but you brought it up. LOL anyways, he was kinda fumbling to get the condom on, and n the meantime I was like what should I do? I feel when it takes a guy too long to get the condom on it's kinda awkward. Like do I just lay there? Do I grab his balls? Do I roll onto my stomach and not make eye contact? WTF am I supposed to do?! He finally gets it on, slides in, and next thing I know, it's OVER. He said "You're already about to make me cum" and I pushed him away screaming "NO!!!!! STOP MOVING!!" but by the time I pushed him away it was too late. That NEVER happens!!! I couldn't do anything but punch him in the chest and get dressed. I told you guys his alcohol = his viagra. And if that means we can only have sex when he's drunk I'm absolutely fine with that. Cause that shit right there? Nah....I got back into my car at 3:04.
I took it upon myself to redo that night and act like that shit never happened. I planned on taking the following WEEKEND off from work to get thoroughly fucked. House to myself it was perfect.

FRIDAY NIGHT/SATURDAY MORNING
We usually have this booty call window between like 1-4 am when we can get it in, usually later when he's ending his night. I spent damn near 100 bucks on lingerie (corset, fishnets, the whole 9) my hair and makeup was done, everything. I was just sitting, waiting, in my full outfit for nothing basically. By 3:30 I was pissed because it was getting late, I basically wasted a night of makeup. I was starting to feel unappreciated and like clockwork he hit me up at 3:57. Drove over to where he was and instead of getting into the front seat he gets into the back. I'm like WTF?! Do you not see what I'm wearing?! You can't take in my sexiness in my backseat!!! So I got back there and tried to act fake mad when he shoved me between the front seats. I wasn't moaning or anything. Idk if he noticed or not, but he grabbed me and put me on my back. After he got on top it was like like bitch who are you fooling...just take the dick and enjoy it. So I did. I had to take off the corset tho...hurt too much to have sex in it in the car especially. While he was hitting from the back my phone went off and he was like "Oh you called other guys tonight before you called me huh? You tryna see other guys? Go ahead answer it. Pick that shit up" and I was just like "its not importaaaaaaaaaant. It's not important OH GOD" The entire time he's hitting me with those deep ass death strokes. I swear we come up with the weirdest positions in the backseat.

-both his feet on either head rest, me standing out the sunroof
-shoved between the front seats with my feet on the back seats while he stands straight up out the sunroof
-car door open with me on my side one hand on the ground while he's on top
-feet on the seat, hands around his neck while he takes over
-back on the front seat, legs on either side of him, holding on to the sun roof for leverage

He sat down and I rode him reverse cowgirl while I stuck out the sunroof. Every time I slowed down he'd yell at me like "Oh is that all you got? *slap* no you stick it in if you want it *slap, slap* Don't slow down you keep going" Yeah, yeah, keep it up. Me likey. We ended up out the car in this strange ass neighborhood with dogs walking around and shit, cars driving by, sun coming up...on my hands and knees he pushed my back down and grabbed my arms behind me like reigns. My face was damn near in the gutter but I didn't care because THAT'S what I had been waiting for for the last 6 months. He was asking me how much did I miss his dick (a lot) and how long I waited for him (Forfuckingever). It was what I wanted: choking, hair pulling, ass slapping, deep strokes...He pulled out and came on my ass, slapped my ass and said "You're welcome". Smug ass lol. I went to the trunk to get my towel so he could wipe me down, then I noticed sometime during the course of our fucking he threw my glasses out the window! And he claims he doesn't even remember doing it. But that didn't matter because it was time for tacos. On the way he acknowledged he likes to drunkenly confess his love for me, so at least I know he might mean it a little, but to take it with a grain of salt.
Anyways we were talking about work and he tells me

"Look. I have a hundred dollar bill in my room. I'm gonna go to the bank and cash it for singles. Then the next time we fuck while I'm fucking you doggy style I'm gonna be slapping your ass and I'm gonna make it rain on your back saying 'Alright alright alright you gon learn today'. And we're gonna get it all on camera"

Sounds amazing right? I had to call him out on his bullshit tho. We just went back and forth with our "uh huhs" & "nu uhs" and he decided to make it a bet. If he actually did it we'd have a threesome. If he didn't, well I still got my dick so who cares. So this was all supposed to take place that night. Dropped him off, and drove home. By now, the sun was up, and the yard sale crowd was up. And or course the night that I don't wear pants my neighbors just HAD to have a damn yardsale. I don't even think I had shoes on. I snatched my silky robe and wrapped it around my waist and prayed my parents were still sleep because how the fuck would I explain why I look like a freshly fucked burlesque dancer? Fortunately I slipped in unnoticed and knocked the fuck out.

SATURDAY NIGHT/SUNDAY MORNING
Now the chick in question basically looks like the hotter version of me and she happens to be my friend so I felt some type of way about having a threesome with her. But I felt like he wouldn't hold up his part of the agreement anyways. Once again 3:30ish am comes around and he's like "its time". I picked him up from the taco shop and  we ended up going back to his house because my parents never left. He turned off the lights and he actually put on music without me having to ask him! He got naked, laid on the bed and I sat on top of him. He licked my nipples and he was asking me why I got my boobs so big. I was like what, you don't like them? He's like nope they're fine...kept on squeezing and licking. He slowly slid in and placed my hands on the wall. The faster he went the less leverage I had so I put my hands back on his chest. "No you put your fucking hands back on the wall" Whatever you say sir. At one point my head was hanging off the edge of the bed and I had one leg around his waist and the other on his shoulder and he was asking me if I was gonna tell my friends about this. Yes, but not how you want me to. LOL. Then he flipped me over like a krabby patty and placed his hands on the small of my back so that the only time I could breathe was when he thrusted. Made me sounds like a damn gorilla *GRUNT, GRUNT, GRUNT, FUUUUUUCK, GRUNT* Everything was kind of a pleasurable blur. Next thing I knew he pushed me away, said "gimme that face* and I sucked him while he finished. Pretty sure I had more ON my face than in my mouth, but whatever. I wiped some off with my hands and was like LOOK!!! Then I licked it off and he laid on the bed. So I climbed back on top and we sat there listening to music, he was looking thru my phone at my pictures, asking me who would be calling me at 5 in the morning (from the night before). Then every time I tried to answer he'd slap me on the ass. Finally I just pinned him down cause it was starting to hurt lol. Then we passed out.

JUST TO BE AWAKEN by his punk ass friend (the one we had the "threesome" with) and some bitch like 2 1/2 hours later. And he wonders why I don't like him. What a terrible fucking way to end such a perfect night. Like I know they saw me laying there. When you see your friend has company you fucking say sorry and remove yourself from the room. Not these rude ass bitches. Needless to say I was NOT happy. The girl's excuse was that they called before they came. But his phone was dead so he didn't answer. Him not answering does not give you the fucking right to barge into his room!!! I went back home, said good morning to my mother, walked by a mirror, saw dried cum on my chin. FAIL.
But I must say, for taking off the entire weekend, it was def fucking worth it.

Next up: The return of Puss In Boots.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the idustryyy