...Now I'm back with the jump off. Nah but really...I have missed blogging like A LOT A LOT so i figure I can catch everyone up on what's been going on and shit I do and don't like and whatever else I feel like rambling about today.
So waaaaaaaay back I told you I had sex with this black dude. And it was kinda nice. But lo and behold he is just a piece of shit human being. For the simple fact that he not only had sex with me with no intentions of keeping this on a casual basis (despite what he originally said) he did it the night before he went on a date with his now baby mama to be. Just TRIFLIN. And I wasn't even the one sexually pursuing him! I would've just been cool staying friends and telling him all my man problems but noooo. He'd rather risk a friendship over some pussy. Smh. I was pissed because he knew this the whole time and we were good friends prior to the whole sex thing which makes me feel like he played me as his friend. And you don't play your friends. Lol.
Then there's Sexsomniac's bitch ass. Everything was cool with him...then I met this guy I thought I was really starting to like so I just kinda stopped replying to his late night drunk texts, because in some odd way I felt guilty. And plus I didn't wanna tell him we can't have sex because of another dude, because if shit doesn't work out with said dude (which it ISN'T) I didn't wanna lose out on my clutch! Well, we all know how he likes to bring me around his lady friends (like a dumb ass). I mean SERIOUSLY. What do you call a dude who brings his fuck buddy (I really hate that term.....trying to come up with a better word for it lol) around every one of his new girlfriends when the both of you already know he's going to cheat? And I mean he wastes no time. There's never a relationship nesting period with him. He will have gotten with the bitch the day before and still hit me up talking about "Let's have sex". Bitch. NO. Go away. This shit is beYOND old by now and I'm over the shit. Oh, and now the chick he isn't dating but calls him babe and posts pics on ig with, I work with her. Sir, your dick is not good enough to lose my job over.
Oh yeah. I have a "regular" job now. It sucks donkey dick. Corporate america, direct deposit, uncle sam, bi-weekly paychecks and everything can kiss my hi yella ass, btw. I hate this life. I wish there was a popular club that wasn't a million miles away that I could work at because I am not adjusting to the normal life very well. I feel poor as fuck. And that is not a good feeling! I like, NEED to finish school and become a coroner already because I like to have nice things and I don't like having to budget. First world problems, poor me:(
Anyways, It's taken everything inside of me not to call him out around his bitch. Some days I wish I was a messy ass hoodrat...but I'm not . So I be quiet. But when he leave........best believe I be talkin again.
Then there was the Puerto Rican. Everything was lovely, the head was great, the sex was great, the weed was great EVERYTHING WAS GREAT. Then one day we were hanging out and I just looked at him and thought, "You know, I don't think I really like you!" and the shit went downhill from there. I started not wanting to hang out with our friends together, because I hated the idea of showing up WITH him. Like here THEY come. As if we're a package deal. I'm my own person, as is he, and that's that. I felt like the less I was starting to like him the more he started to like me, which was a shitty sitchy within itself. Now that whole "It's not you, it's me" cliche makes a ton of fucking sense! Because he literally didn't do anything! Then I started to loathe the idea of us having sex. And essentially that was all this was anyways so once the sex stops being fun...I mean when you get to a point where you don't even want them giving you head...like this shit goes DEEP. I feel like such a horrible person. But you shouldn't have to force things right?
Please don't hold my hand after sex.
Please don't ever fucking call what we do LOVE MAKING. EVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Don't give my vag any goofy ass 4 year old names. We're fucking grown. And that shit is kinda creepy.
Unless I pursue you fully knowing you have a gf...don't bother fucking talking to me.
Have you ever just been disgusted by a person you used to like a lot? Like the idea of them pointing their erection even remotely in your direction makes you queasy? No..? Just me? Fuuuuuuh.
I find out everything. I'm one cunning sneaky ass bitch.
I'm kinda semi involuntarily celibate right now, which sucks. But then again you know me, I don't settle.
My mechanic is harrassing me again. Mind you I only hung out with him once on my birthday like two years ago. And all we did was drive around town. I mean why are you randomly calling me at 4 in the afternoon? Shouldn't you be working? And stop sending me requests on fb!
When I stop fucking with you I really stop fucking with you. DO yourself a favor and just stop trying. You're only making it harder on yourself, and I'm trying to be nice here
I really miss my vertical clit hood piercing. Like a lot a lot.
I had sex for a week straight. Did not end well. Some people are better suited for sex once a week, or every other week. Once a day is too much stress for some people's bodies. Not mine.
I have had the weirdest reoccurring fantasy about anal. I've done it like twice not too long ago...and I kinda wanna do it more than once in a blue moon.
Be a man with me. Grab your balls and fucking assert yourself. Don't be a fucking pussy. One thing I hate is a weak man. I like manly men. That know how to man handle me. I hate passive aggressive dudes.
Do guys ask for butthole pics? Do girls randomly send them? I need answers.
I'm not a nympho.
OHandihadsexwithhappenisliketwiceanditwasamazingbothtimesdontjudgemekbye.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Showing posts with label No Ma'am. Show all posts
Showing posts with label No Ma'am. Show all posts
Monday, August 12, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Brazilian Waxes
The reason for this blog is to share with my female readers my experiences with getting Brazilian waxes.
First Hoo-Rah
I can't remember exactly when I decided to start getting waxes but there was a spot by the mall where my friend worked and she told me that they were doing them for 30 bucks. Cheap enough for me! I walked into the nail salon and said I was here for a Brazilian and they said someone would be right with me. I was nervous as shit but figured it couldn't be TOO bad, because so many women got waxed. An older Asian lady who didn't know too much English told me to follow her to the back. The room she led me to just had a dentist type chair in there and I'm thinking "That's odd...how am I supposed to get waxed in a chair?" Due to some communication difficulties she thought I wanted an eyebrow wax. No ma'am a Brazilian. She led me to another room and omg. The fluorescent lighting was terrible and there was a table with a towel on it and her waxing station. I kidd you not it looked like that room doubled as a room to get back alley abortions in. But nonetheless I was gonna go thru with it. I started with my armpits which was bearable so I thought the Brazilian couldn't be that bad. We didn't even make it half way thru. I wasn't screaming but I would say omg really loud and be nervously laughing because I had never felt pain like that before. And that was only on the top! No way she was getting near my lips. I told her I couldn't finish and I got dressed, paid her and left. I had wax stuck to me everywhere and everything burned. But I was determined to go thru wit hit completely.
Second Go Round
I went back again, this time armed with a 600mG ibuprofen and Relax & Wax No Scream Cream. I took the meds about half an hour before my appointment and applied the cream 40 minutes before and even wore saran wrap around my cooch to increase the potency. I got there and I asked them how long for another Brazilian and they said 10 minutes. More like 40 minutes. Enough time for my cream and pills to wear off. We got a little further, I let her wax my butt cheeks but still didn't reach the lips. That shit hurt too much! I also noticed she didn't use different sticks! She kept double dipping her stick in the pot which is a HUGE red flag. When you get waxed they are always supposed to use a new stick when dipping it in the pot because it's a breeding ground for bacteria. Needless to say I wasn't going to be going back there any time soon.
Third Time's A Charm
My friends and I regularly meet up and go to happy hour together and one day we got there late so while we waited for it to start again we walked around the shopping plaza to see the new DSW. On the way I saw a salon was having a 30$ special on waxes too. It was a nicer salon so I thought, shit, why not? I walked in the next day and while they don't take walk ins she had an appt available within the hour. I stayed and while I waited I was offered refreshments. I'm liking this place already! I was greeted by this petite Mexican lady and she led me back to the room. I loved the ambiance of the salon, it was an upper scale one with soft lighting and a neutral color scheme throughout the salon. She led me back to a private room which looked like the rest of the salon, thank god. No back alley abortions here! There was soft music playing, and the table was plush. I laid down and I told her I'm still new to this, I haven't sat thru an entire Brazilian wax and that my first few experiences weren't pleasant. She apologized for my past experienced and assured me it get's easier. I laid on the table and she jumped right in. She uses both a hard wax and a soft wax. The difference is the soft wax is applied and ripped off with a resin cloth and a hard wax is applied, you wait for it to harden then you rip the entire thing off. I prefer hard wax if I had my pick. She was so fast and efficient, I didn't have to stop her once. Before I knew it she was telling me to lay on my side to get my butt. It was a little awkward having to hold my butt cheeks open for her so she could wax under my cheeks and down my crack. And having hot wax on your butt hole is a weird feeling. And I think I'm a bit of a freak and not like a sex freak but a weirdo freak cause I kinda liked having hot wax on my lips. Judge me. She was so fast, we finished in 20 minutes! She applied this shimmery lotion to my cooch which was a nice touch and bam we're done! I made sure to tip her to show my gratitude, and I even told her she had the hands of an angel lol. She makes my waxing experience so pleasant. I refer her to all my friends. Now the wax is normally 50, but if that means I don't have to feel like my skin is being ripped off and risk a bacterial infection I have no qualms about paying an extra 20 bucks.
So the bottom line for waxes is this (at least with my lady):
-it DOES hurt less when you go frequently. After that first wax after shaving your hair grows back thinner to there isn't as much pull.
-the most painful spot for me at first was right at the top where the two lips meet; now it's that last little strip of hair right before you get to the fleshy bits.
-getting around your butt waxed feels like having a band-aid ripped off.
-take some advil or tylenol before you go to lessen the sting
-exfoliate in the shower every day for at least a week.
-I use tend skin on my lady bits, but keep in mind if you use it right after a wax that shit feels like you dumped a gallon of rubbing alcohol on your vag. But it does help with ingrowns (as does exfoliating)
-it hurts I'm not gonna lie, but it's not unbearable. I think getting my tongue pierced hurt more anyway.
My next appointment wasn't until next Thursday but El Capitan finally grew a pair of balls and invited me over on Saturday and It was either I shave tonight and postpone my wax, or call in the morning and pray for the best. Thankfully she had an opening today so I'm waxed and ready, and before I go I'm going to vajazzle myself lol just for shits and giggs. And of course I will be blogging about it. I pray it's everything I dream of and more, but not so much because I don't wanna get hooked. I pray he has a big dick and that he knows how to move his ass. Because when you have so much sexual tension between someone and you finally get to fuck them and they suck it's a HUGE letdown:/
Welp, here goes nothin'.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
First Hoo-Rah
I can't remember exactly when I decided to start getting waxes but there was a spot by the mall where my friend worked and she told me that they were doing them for 30 bucks. Cheap enough for me! I walked into the nail salon and said I was here for a Brazilian and they said someone would be right with me. I was nervous as shit but figured it couldn't be TOO bad, because so many women got waxed. An older Asian lady who didn't know too much English told me to follow her to the back. The room she led me to just had a dentist type chair in there and I'm thinking "That's odd...how am I supposed to get waxed in a chair?" Due to some communication difficulties she thought I wanted an eyebrow wax. No ma'am a Brazilian. She led me to another room and omg. The fluorescent lighting was terrible and there was a table with a towel on it and her waxing station. I kidd you not it looked like that room doubled as a room to get back alley abortions in. But nonetheless I was gonna go thru with it. I started with my armpits which was bearable so I thought the Brazilian couldn't be that bad. We didn't even make it half way thru. I wasn't screaming but I would say omg really loud and be nervously laughing because I had never felt pain like that before. And that was only on the top! No way she was getting near my lips. I told her I couldn't finish and I got dressed, paid her and left. I had wax stuck to me everywhere and everything burned. But I was determined to go thru wit hit completely.
Second Go Round
I went back again, this time armed with a 600mG ibuprofen and Relax & Wax No Scream Cream. I took the meds about half an hour before my appointment and applied the cream 40 minutes before and even wore saran wrap around my cooch to increase the potency. I got there and I asked them how long for another Brazilian and they said 10 minutes. More like 40 minutes. Enough time for my cream and pills to wear off. We got a little further, I let her wax my butt cheeks but still didn't reach the lips. That shit hurt too much! I also noticed she didn't use different sticks! She kept double dipping her stick in the pot which is a HUGE red flag. When you get waxed they are always supposed to use a new stick when dipping it in the pot because it's a breeding ground for bacteria. Needless to say I wasn't going to be going back there any time soon.
Third Time's A Charm
My friends and I regularly meet up and go to happy hour together and one day we got there late so while we waited for it to start again we walked around the shopping plaza to see the new DSW. On the way I saw a salon was having a 30$ special on waxes too. It was a nicer salon so I thought, shit, why not? I walked in the next day and while they don't take walk ins she had an appt available within the hour. I stayed and while I waited I was offered refreshments. I'm liking this place already! I was greeted by this petite Mexican lady and she led me back to the room. I loved the ambiance of the salon, it was an upper scale one with soft lighting and a neutral color scheme throughout the salon. She led me back to a private room which looked like the rest of the salon, thank god. No back alley abortions here! There was soft music playing, and the table was plush. I laid down and I told her I'm still new to this, I haven't sat thru an entire Brazilian wax and that my first few experiences weren't pleasant. She apologized for my past experienced and assured me it get's easier. I laid on the table and she jumped right in. She uses both a hard wax and a soft wax. The difference is the soft wax is applied and ripped off with a resin cloth and a hard wax is applied, you wait for it to harden then you rip the entire thing off. I prefer hard wax if I had my pick. She was so fast and efficient, I didn't have to stop her once. Before I knew it she was telling me to lay on my side to get my butt. It was a little awkward having to hold my butt cheeks open for her so she could wax under my cheeks and down my crack. And having hot wax on your butt hole is a weird feeling. And I think I'm a bit of a freak and not like a sex freak but a weirdo freak cause I kinda liked having hot wax on my lips. Judge me. She was so fast, we finished in 20 minutes! She applied this shimmery lotion to my cooch which was a nice touch and bam we're done! I made sure to tip her to show my gratitude, and I even told her she had the hands of an angel lol. She makes my waxing experience so pleasant. I refer her to all my friends. Now the wax is normally 50, but if that means I don't have to feel like my skin is being ripped off and risk a bacterial infection I have no qualms about paying an extra 20 bucks.
So the bottom line for waxes is this (at least with my lady):
-it DOES hurt less when you go frequently. After that first wax after shaving your hair grows back thinner to there isn't as much pull.
-the most painful spot for me at first was right at the top where the two lips meet; now it's that last little strip of hair right before you get to the fleshy bits.
-getting around your butt waxed feels like having a band-aid ripped off.
-take some advil or tylenol before you go to lessen the sting
-exfoliate in the shower every day for at least a week.
-I use tend skin on my lady bits, but keep in mind if you use it right after a wax that shit feels like you dumped a gallon of rubbing alcohol on your vag. But it does help with ingrowns (as does exfoliating)
-it hurts I'm not gonna lie, but it's not unbearable. I think getting my tongue pierced hurt more anyway.
My next appointment wasn't until next Thursday but El Capitan finally grew a pair of balls and invited me over on Saturday and It was either I shave tonight and postpone my wax, or call in the morning and pray for the best. Thankfully she had an opening today so I'm waxed and ready, and before I go I'm going to vajazzle myself lol just for shits and giggs. And of course I will be blogging about it. I pray it's everything I dream of and more, but not so much because I don't wanna get hooked. I pray he has a big dick and that he knows how to move his ass. Because when you have so much sexual tension between someone and you finally get to fuck them and they suck it's a HUGE letdown:/
Welp, here goes nothin'.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Eww Why Me?!
I really gotta stop fucking with blasts from the past.
If you refer back to the "Keep It 100" blog...yeah that bitch is back. And getting on my nerves more than ever. I officially gave up on that months ago, and sure enough when summer vacay started he popped back into my life YET AGAIN. Although he still failed to mention he had a girlfriend. You dudes really let twitter get y'all caught up. Anyways he was literally pestering me for WEEKS about giving him some when I had no type of interest in him anymore. Once I stop fucking with you I REALLY stop fucking with you. He would always text me all kinds of crazy shit, like "whaddup hoe" or "girl i can work my dick i know how to fuck" and "you bein a scary bitch" amongst other things. I knew he didn't mean to insult me, he just thought it was cute banter. I was not amused. He took my not wanting to fuck him as being scary. Like it was impossible to believe I really didn't wanna fuck with him like that. I had a friend pass away unfortunately last month and I felt like he might have used that opportunity to "be there for me" as another way to weasel his way back. Didn't really work. I tried my best to be nice to him for the simple fact we had been such good friends the previous years but he was really about to have me go the hell off on him. Me and Curly Fries were talking about it cause he happened to be friends with him too. He thought the situation was funny and sad because "its sad to see weed has made my friend so desperate for pussy" and as much as he would like to say he wasn't desperate, he really was. There was no need to text me every day asking when we were gonna fuck. None at all. We made a bet: Curly Fries said his dick would be small and he wouldn't last more than 7 minutes...which wasn't really a bet at all because I thought more or less the same thing.
Finally after weeks of trying I finally snapped. I told him "Look. If I do this, and it's terrible, I'm gonna tell you then I'm never speaking to you again". Of course he was waaaaay over confident in his skills. Then he asks when he's coming over here. Bitch...NEVER. I told him he would never step foot in my house again. Then he goes on about always having people at his house blah blah blah "we can just chill in the car" Bitch you are cuh-razy. I have never fucked you before. And you can't go hopping in the backseats of cars with boys all willy nilly. Car sex is difficult enough as it is, and if you can't fuck...that just makes it worse. I told this idiot I'd rather fuck him in a bed so I could at least see if the sex would be worth anything but once again, confidence over shadowed common sense. One night he comes and picks me up and I could really give two fucks about it. My gut told me it would be terrible but I did it anyways. I should probably start listening to my gut more often. Hygiene Gods forgive me for being so triflin' but let me tell you how much I DIDN'T care: I didn't put on deodorant, I had on sweats and a hoodie and I didn't wash my hair. All I did was wash my ass pretty much. SO we're sitting in the car for like an hour going back and forth about why I'm just not turned on by him anymore (his fuckery) and he's like can we please just put it behind us I'm sorry Fine whatever. His car is tiny by the way. Foreshadowing much? He's all slumped over invading my personal space and I'm thinking "stop touching me". Then he starts kissing me and the entire time he's moaning. I'm like why the fuck are you moaning?! Shut up!!! He stops and suggests we move to the backseat. I look back there, and look at him like he's crazy. There was NO room back there, and there was no way in HELL I was bringing that fuckery into MY car. So we got into the backseat. (I'm getting annoyed all over again writing this shit). Let the making out commence. I wish it would've stopped there. But NOOOOOOOOOO. And the fucked up thing was while we were making out I could feel my body betraying me. He wasn't a terrible kisser but he wasn't AMAZING, so I couldn't understand why I was so wet! I was like wtf is really going on...God is playing a cruel joke on me once again. In the middle of kissing he asks me all moan-y and shit "Mmmm grab my dick mmmm" and he shoves my hand in his shorts. Mind you I'm still kissing him. First off, his dick was wet like he just shot out hella precum. Ick. Then I felt how small it was. And I thought "That bitch Curly Fries was right" and started smiling. Smiling while kissing= no go. He asked me what and I was like oh hmm ha nothing...But I was like this night can't possibly get any worse. Oh yes it can, cause this is ME we're talking about. So I'm trying to keep my composure while we're kissing, and I can't even play with is dick I kept stopping and just held it and he would grab my hand and give me another jump start. I just had no desire to play with his peepee. Then he pulled away, pulled his shorts down and tried to take them off. But once again there was NO room so it was just knees hitting seats and acrobatic shit going on, just plain ol' awful. Finally he gets them off and he has me climb on top. I didn't even have the energy to ride him so I just half assed it hoping he would cum hella quick. Oh no, not him. So we switch between me semi riding him and him giving me his sorry ass excuses of thrusts, the whole time I'm just rolling my eyes. He commented on how wet I was and I just wanted to be like "I don't even know how the fuck that happened but I am NOT enjoying this shit" But I just said "Mmmhmm..." Finally I couldn't take anymore of this fuck ass shit so I got off. He was like "Sorry its so small back here" and all I said was "This was a terrible fucking idea". He asked me to give him head and that was meant with a firm hell no. Then he was like "You want me to bend you over the hood and fuck you huh" No sir, no I just want you to take me back home. He apologized once before he dropped me of and I told him I'd call him. Sike.
That shit was terrible and he knew it. "...know how to fuck" my ASS you liar! But I knew better tho...I diddddddd and yet I subjected myself to that fuck shit. Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! The only way he's gonna get another shot isif he gets a penile implant and drinks 6 Red Bulls. And even then I may still say no.
It's like the good ones don't come around often enough (If they ever come back) and the bad ones always stick around no matter how mean I am to them. What the fuck kinda ass backwards shit is that?!?!?! I'ma just quit sex one day and turn this into a cooking blog. Or a scrapbooking blog. Cause I can't take much more of this shit./
I still gotta write about:
-The Mexican across town and how his dog stared into my soul during sex
-Yet ANOTHER fail on Happenis's part. The quality of our sessions are steady going down:/
-Another L.A. prospect and Grade A peach eater. Damn his magical tongue trickery.
Y'all gotta be more on my ass about updating this thing. I forget to sometimes.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
If you refer back to the "Keep It 100" blog...yeah that bitch is back. And getting on my nerves more than ever. I officially gave up on that months ago, and sure enough when summer vacay started he popped back into my life YET AGAIN. Although he still failed to mention he had a girlfriend. You dudes really let twitter get y'all caught up. Anyways he was literally pestering me for WEEKS about giving him some when I had no type of interest in him anymore. Once I stop fucking with you I REALLY stop fucking with you. He would always text me all kinds of crazy shit, like "whaddup hoe" or "girl i can work my dick i know how to fuck" and "you bein a scary bitch" amongst other things. I knew he didn't mean to insult me, he just thought it was cute banter. I was not amused. He took my not wanting to fuck him as being scary. Like it was impossible to believe I really didn't wanna fuck with him like that. I had a friend pass away unfortunately last month and I felt like he might have used that opportunity to "be there for me" as another way to weasel his way back. Didn't really work. I tried my best to be nice to him for the simple fact we had been such good friends the previous years but he was really about to have me go the hell off on him. Me and Curly Fries were talking about it cause he happened to be friends with him too. He thought the situation was funny and sad because "its sad to see weed has made my friend so desperate for pussy" and as much as he would like to say he wasn't desperate, he really was. There was no need to text me every day asking when we were gonna fuck. None at all. We made a bet: Curly Fries said his dick would be small and he wouldn't last more than 7 minutes...which wasn't really a bet at all because I thought more or less the same thing.
Finally after weeks of trying I finally snapped. I told him "Look. If I do this, and it's terrible, I'm gonna tell you then I'm never speaking to you again". Of course he was waaaaay over confident in his skills. Then he asks when he's coming over here. Bitch...NEVER. I told him he would never step foot in my house again. Then he goes on about always having people at his house blah blah blah "we can just chill in the car" Bitch you are cuh-razy. I have never fucked you before. And you can't go hopping in the backseats of cars with boys all willy nilly. Car sex is difficult enough as it is, and if you can't fuck...that just makes it worse. I told this idiot I'd rather fuck him in a bed so I could at least see if the sex would be worth anything but once again, confidence over shadowed common sense. One night he comes and picks me up and I could really give two fucks about it. My gut told me it would be terrible but I did it anyways. I should probably start listening to my gut more often. Hygiene Gods forgive me for being so triflin' but let me tell you how much I DIDN'T care: I didn't put on deodorant, I had on sweats and a hoodie and I didn't wash my hair. All I did was wash my ass pretty much. SO we're sitting in the car for like an hour going back and forth about why I'm just not turned on by him anymore (his fuckery) and he's like can we please just put it behind us I'm sorry Fine whatever. His car is tiny by the way. Foreshadowing much? He's all slumped over invading my personal space and I'm thinking "stop touching me". Then he starts kissing me and the entire time he's moaning. I'm like why the fuck are you moaning?! Shut up!!! He stops and suggests we move to the backseat. I look back there, and look at him like he's crazy. There was NO room back there, and there was no way in HELL I was bringing that fuckery into MY car. So we got into the backseat. (I'm getting annoyed all over again writing this shit). Let the making out commence. I wish it would've stopped there. But NOOOOOOOOOO. And the fucked up thing was while we were making out I could feel my body betraying me. He wasn't a terrible kisser but he wasn't AMAZING, so I couldn't understand why I was so wet! I was like wtf is really going on...God is playing a cruel joke on me once again. In the middle of kissing he asks me all moan-y and shit "Mmmm grab my dick mmmm" and he shoves my hand in his shorts. Mind you I'm still kissing him. First off, his dick was wet like he just shot out hella precum. Ick. Then I felt how small it was. And I thought "That bitch Curly Fries was right" and started smiling. Smiling while kissing= no go. He asked me what and I was like oh hmm ha nothing...But I was like this night can't possibly get any worse. Oh yes it can, cause this is ME we're talking about. So I'm trying to keep my composure while we're kissing, and I can't even play with is dick I kept stopping and just held it and he would grab my hand and give me another jump start. I just had no desire to play with his peepee. Then he pulled away, pulled his shorts down and tried to take them off. But once again there was NO room so it was just knees hitting seats and acrobatic shit going on, just plain ol' awful. Finally he gets them off and he has me climb on top. I didn't even have the energy to ride him so I just half assed it hoping he would cum hella quick. Oh no, not him. So we switch between me semi riding him and him giving me his sorry ass excuses of thrusts, the whole time I'm just rolling my eyes. He commented on how wet I was and I just wanted to be like "I don't even know how the fuck that happened but I am NOT enjoying this shit" But I just said "Mmmhmm..." Finally I couldn't take anymore of this fuck ass shit so I got off. He was like "Sorry its so small back here" and all I said was "This was a terrible fucking idea". He asked me to give him head and that was meant with a firm hell no. Then he was like "You want me to bend you over the hood and fuck you huh" No sir, no I just want you to take me back home. He apologized once before he dropped me of and I told him I'd call him. Sike.
That shit was terrible and he knew it. "...know how to fuck" my ASS you liar! But I knew better tho...I diddddddd and yet I subjected myself to that fuck shit. Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! The only way he's gonna get another shot isif he gets a penile implant and drinks 6 Red Bulls. And even then I may still say no.
It's like the good ones don't come around often enough (If they ever come back) and the bad ones always stick around no matter how mean I am to them. What the fuck kinda ass backwards shit is that?!?!?! I'ma just quit sex one day and turn this into a cooking blog. Or a scrapbooking blog. Cause I can't take much more of this shit./
I still gotta write about:
-The Mexican across town and how his dog stared into my soul during sex
-Yet ANOTHER fail on Happenis's part. The quality of our sessions are steady going down:/
-Another L.A. prospect and Grade A peach eater. Damn his magical tongue trickery.
Y'all gotta be more on my ass about updating this thing. I forget to sometimes.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Worst Night Of My Life (By far)
Bueno...after being all happy and giddy in most of my blogs I gotta get real serious right now. I always said I won't hold anything back from you guys. And I'm not. I feel like I need to share this with my beloved babes an gents, because this blog is like my outlet. Here goes.
Saturday night I decided to go out. I finally had a weekend off and I was ready to kick it. Remember the creepy ass dude who kept texting me non stop? Well he sent a text saying he has an open house to come party. So I called our mutual friend to see if it was legit or just another one of his pathetic ploys to try to get me alone. He told me he got the same text too and told me to come. I told him I was skeptical cause dude is annoying and a creeper and he was like dude he's not gonna try anything if I'm there. So I was like fine I'll go.
I had so much fun at the party, discovered that pretty much ANY Arizona drink mixes great with gin or vodka...i also might wanna stop showing the world my boobs...we'll see how far we get with that lol. On my second 7-11 run I brought some guy along with me that I had met that night just to ride along with me and make sure I didn't die. He commented how he thinks its so sexy when women can drive stick shifts lol. After I got my drink he buys a bottle of Hypnotiq and we head back to the party. On the way some guy i hadn't slept with in over 2 almost 3 years hit me up wanting to "hang out:)" after the party. WEEEEEELL sir...i saw my happenis earlier that night, think that's already been taken care of...but thanks for offering your services! (NOT)
so the guy is like why don't you wanna sleep with him? An I tell him I already had sex like 2 hours ago that's nassssty and he starts laughing. Then I tell him while the sex is good he doesn't put out enough and he gives me the whole "if you were my girl I'd have sex with you all the time" and he asked me something about my boyfriend. I was like uhhhh he's not my boyfriend he is just a boy lol and he was like ohh okay well hit me up if you ever need something:) he was cute, I might've considered it but well get to that in a minute. So the party is going on, the Textually Active man was there...i was drunk...but did he try to make a move on me? Nope! All that shit he talks thru texts and he had me in a position where i would've fucked around with him and lo an behold HE DIDN'T TAKE IT. Oh well.
Anyway doe...the creepy dude was CONSTANTLY calling my name the whole night and when I would ask what the fuck he wanted he would say some weirdo shit like "your earrings are so gorgeous, you just don't even know" or tellin me that my eyes or that I was beautiful. Now I love compliments, but this dude just made me wanna punch him in the face!! I went and made yet ANOTHER store run (which brings my drink total to 4) with the same guy, but this time I let him drive because I was semi out of it. As we sit in front of 7-11 he says "i know you won't fuck two dudes in the same night but will you make out With two in one night?" I said "Oh hunnay, I didn't kiss him tonight!" And then we start making out in the parking lot. He was a good kisser:) mmm, baby. We drive back to the party and he asks me if I at least got mine before he got his. I told him no, but I wasn't trippin. So he drives past the house to his car because he "has to get something" and we pull over around the corner. We make out some more and next thing I know my boob is in his mouth. Must. Fight. Temptation!!!! So I told him no, I can't and we should go back to the party and he's like "baby don't you want your nut?" Lololol well yeah but not from you at this moment and not while my vag is still swollen from happenis! So we ended up back at the party and he gave me his number. Either he gave me the wrong one or his phone is off. Either way I'm not trippin.
So this is when the night takes a turn for the worst. So party is over, now its just me, my friend, the creeper and some stranger dude. Drunk and hungry I demand my friend take me to denny's for chicken strips lol but he was being beyond gay and wouldn't take me! We're driving around with this idiot in the back seat telling me I'm beautiful every two seconds and I was just like "DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TALK TO GOD DAMN MUCH!!!" Then he tried ticking me and I'm like get your dirty hands offa me!!!
We end up back at the house (mind you I STILL haven't gotten my food >_<) and everything is kinda winding down. I'm still too drunk to drive, but i wasn't like stumbling and slurring drunk I was still pretty aware of my surroundings and who all was there. So one of the guys there offers me a blanket from his car because I'm cold and we all go upstairs. I stay in the room and lay down and then my friend comes in and lays (or is it lies?) Down next to me and we go to sleep. I feel a hand on my back and don't think anything of it. Then that hand starts rubbing my back. Still not enough to fully wake me. Then this hand starts sloooooowly reaching in my pants (i was laying on my stomach) and going under my thong. This hand is like all between the cheeks and working its way further down south! I turn to my right and my friend is still sleeping. I turn to my left and wouldn't you know it, there is the creeper head facing away from me but with his hands still in my pants! So I spring up, unplug my phone from the wall and race downstairs, the sick fuck following me all the way down. I get to my car and he holds the door open talking about "omg I think you're really gorgeous but look this is my last night in town can I please please please have a kiss??" No you sick fuck NO YOU CAN NOT!!! Then he starts asking for hugs and shit and all I wanna do is get outta there. I'm pushing his ass off my door cause I can't close it with him there. I finally push his ass far enough to where I can shut the door and drive away. Between 6am an 7am he called me 7 times, all getting sent straight to voicemail. He sent me texts "hey goddess I love you" "hi?!?!?!?!" "you're just so gorgeous" and the one that really pissed me the fuck off was when he said "laying next to you this morning was really comfortable:)" all attempts to ignore this pervert FAILED. I told him he was beyond fucked up for what he did to me and he knew it. Told him never to contact me again or I would make a police report and he starts apologizing, claiming he was drunk. If I was drunk and was able to tell some guy we couldn't have sex and actually mean it then wtf. You came into the room I was in, lied down next to me and started groping me and trying to finger me and you're telling me you did this all in a drunken stupor?! I beg to fucking differ!!! He knew he had absolutely no shot with me sober, or even drunk for that matter cause I still wasn't paying his creepy ass any attention. He waited until he THOUGHT I was unconscious to try to have his way with me. He starts texting me don't be like that and I was texting him back and blah blah blah basically a bunch of bullshit that didn't justify him molesting me in my sleep. When I think about it now I should've just kicked his fucking face in but at the time I didn't wanna cause a scene. He makes me soooo angry and all I can think about is what would I do if we were to ever cross paths again. I could kill him. I eventually ended up telling my friend what happened and he asked why I didn't wake him up. I wish I had. Cause now I feel suuuuper nasty and whenever I think about his hands sliding across my ass and where he was trying to go I get chills. He texted me a day later telling me I left my earrings at his house and he would give it to my friend for me and I was like fine. Then he asked if I was still mad at him and I told him yes and I was beyond repulsed by him. It wasn't like you slapped my ass in public or tried to kiss me you took advantage of me. And he said don't be like that. Ummn excuse me but when you wake up with a stranger trying to finger you it tends to do that to you. Then he was like I understand NO YOU FUCKING DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! I hope he wakes up and finds a big burly ass dude with his dick in his ass and then try to act all nonchalant about it. Perv. Sorry to bum you guys out but that's why I didn't write a blog on our actual birthday...i was stressing out a bit. But don't worry I'm not over here all like about to slit my wrists in the bathtub or anything. I'm cool as long as that sicko keeps his distance. I'll be back to my bubbly horny self in no time...i give it about a week lol happenis always leaves a smile on my face:) If you wanna send some encouraging words or whatever, out give be a piece of your mind about this douche bag leave a comment, email me at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com or find me wherever. Got the most part I'm probably bored at work lol. BRUTE
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
I feel like this could potentially break his penis...but more power to you limber lovers ou tere!
Love you guys,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Saturday night I decided to go out. I finally had a weekend off and I was ready to kick it. Remember the creepy ass dude who kept texting me non stop? Well he sent a text saying he has an open house to come party. So I called our mutual friend to see if it was legit or just another one of his pathetic ploys to try to get me alone. He told me he got the same text too and told me to come. I told him I was skeptical cause dude is annoying and a creeper and he was like dude he's not gonna try anything if I'm there. So I was like fine I'll go.
I had so much fun at the party, discovered that pretty much ANY Arizona drink mixes great with gin or vodka...i also might wanna stop showing the world my boobs...we'll see how far we get with that lol. On my second 7-11 run I brought some guy along with me that I had met that night just to ride along with me and make sure I didn't die. He commented how he thinks its so sexy when women can drive stick shifts lol. After I got my drink he buys a bottle of Hypnotiq and we head back to the party. On the way some guy i hadn't slept with in over 2 almost 3 years hit me up wanting to "hang out:)" after the party. WEEEEEELL sir...i saw my happenis earlier that night, think that's already been taken care of...but thanks for offering your services! (NOT)
so the guy is like why don't you wanna sleep with him? An I tell him I already had sex like 2 hours ago that's nassssty and he starts laughing. Then I tell him while the sex is good he doesn't put out enough and he gives me the whole "if you were my girl I'd have sex with you all the time" and he asked me something about my boyfriend. I was like uhhhh he's not my boyfriend he is just a boy lol and he was like ohh okay well hit me up if you ever need something:) he was cute, I might've considered it but well get to that in a minute. So the party is going on, the Textually Active man was there...i was drunk...but did he try to make a move on me? Nope! All that shit he talks thru texts and he had me in a position where i would've fucked around with him and lo an behold HE DIDN'T TAKE IT. Oh well.
Anyway doe...the creepy dude was CONSTANTLY calling my name the whole night and when I would ask what the fuck he wanted he would say some weirdo shit like "your earrings are so gorgeous, you just don't even know" or tellin me that my eyes or that I was beautiful. Now I love compliments, but this dude just made me wanna punch him in the face!! I went and made yet ANOTHER store run (which brings my drink total to 4) with the same guy, but this time I let him drive because I was semi out of it. As we sit in front of 7-11 he says "i know you won't fuck two dudes in the same night but will you make out With two in one night?" I said "Oh hunnay, I didn't kiss him tonight!" And then we start making out in the parking lot. He was a good kisser:) mmm, baby. We drive back to the party and he asks me if I at least got mine before he got his. I told him no, but I wasn't trippin. So he drives past the house to his car because he "has to get something" and we pull over around the corner. We make out some more and next thing I know my boob is in his mouth. Must. Fight. Temptation!!!! So I told him no, I can't and we should go back to the party and he's like "baby don't you want your nut?" Lololol well yeah but not from you at this moment and not while my vag is still swollen from happenis! So we ended up back at the party and he gave me his number. Either he gave me the wrong one or his phone is off. Either way I'm not trippin.
So this is when the night takes a turn for the worst. So party is over, now its just me, my friend, the creeper and some stranger dude. Drunk and hungry I demand my friend take me to denny's for chicken strips lol but he was being beyond gay and wouldn't take me! We're driving around with this idiot in the back seat telling me I'm beautiful every two seconds and I was just like "DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TALK TO GOD DAMN MUCH!!!" Then he tried ticking me and I'm like get your dirty hands offa me!!!
We end up back at the house (mind you I STILL haven't gotten my food >_<) and everything is kinda winding down. I'm still too drunk to drive, but i wasn't like stumbling and slurring drunk I was still pretty aware of my surroundings and who all was there. So one of the guys there offers me a blanket from his car because I'm cold and we all go upstairs. I stay in the room and lay down and then my friend comes in and lays (or is it lies?) Down next to me and we go to sleep. I feel a hand on my back and don't think anything of it. Then that hand starts rubbing my back. Still not enough to fully wake me. Then this hand starts sloooooowly reaching in my pants (i was laying on my stomach) and going under my thong. This hand is like all between the cheeks and working its way further down south! I turn to my right and my friend is still sleeping. I turn to my left and wouldn't you know it, there is the creeper head facing away from me but with his hands still in my pants! So I spring up, unplug my phone from the wall and race downstairs, the sick fuck following me all the way down. I get to my car and he holds the door open talking about "omg I think you're really gorgeous but look this is my last night in town can I please please please have a kiss??" No you sick fuck NO YOU CAN NOT!!! Then he starts asking for hugs and shit and all I wanna do is get outta there. I'm pushing his ass off my door cause I can't close it with him there. I finally push his ass far enough to where I can shut the door and drive away. Between 6am an 7am he called me 7 times, all getting sent straight to voicemail. He sent me texts "hey goddess I love you" "hi?!?!?!?!" "you're just so gorgeous" and the one that really pissed me the fuck off was when he said "laying next to you this morning was really comfortable:)" all attempts to ignore this pervert FAILED. I told him he was beyond fucked up for what he did to me and he knew it. Told him never to contact me again or I would make a police report and he starts apologizing, claiming he was drunk. If I was drunk and was able to tell some guy we couldn't have sex and actually mean it then wtf. You came into the room I was in, lied down next to me and started groping me and trying to finger me and you're telling me you did this all in a drunken stupor?! I beg to fucking differ!!! He knew he had absolutely no shot with me sober, or even drunk for that matter cause I still wasn't paying his creepy ass any attention. He waited until he THOUGHT I was unconscious to try to have his way with me. He starts texting me don't be like that and I was texting him back and blah blah blah basically a bunch of bullshit that didn't justify him molesting me in my sleep. When I think about it now I should've just kicked his fucking face in but at the time I didn't wanna cause a scene. He makes me soooo angry and all I can think about is what would I do if we were to ever cross paths again. I could kill him. I eventually ended up telling my friend what happened and he asked why I didn't wake him up. I wish I had. Cause now I feel suuuuper nasty and whenever I think about his hands sliding across my ass and where he was trying to go I get chills. He texted me a day later telling me I left my earrings at his house and he would give it to my friend for me and I was like fine. Then he asked if I was still mad at him and I told him yes and I was beyond repulsed by him. It wasn't like you slapped my ass in public or tried to kiss me you took advantage of me. And he said don't be like that. Ummn excuse me but when you wake up with a stranger trying to finger you it tends to do that to you. Then he was like I understand NO YOU FUCKING DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! I hope he wakes up and finds a big burly ass dude with his dick in his ass and then try to act all nonchalant about it. Perv. Sorry to bum you guys out but that's why I didn't write a blog on our actual birthday...i was stressing out a bit. But don't worry I'm not over here all like about to slit my wrists in the bathtub or anything. I'm cool as long as that sicko keeps his distance. I'll be back to my bubbly horny self in no time...i give it about a week lol happenis always leaves a smile on my face:) If you wanna send some encouraging words or whatever, out give be a piece of your mind about this douche bag leave a comment, email me at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com or find me wherever. Got the most part I'm probably bored at work lol. BRUTE
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
I feel like this could potentially break his penis...but more power to you limber lovers ou tere!
Love you guys,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, November 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Premature Ejaculators and Erectile Dysfunction
GAAAAAAAH I JUST WANNA RIP MY HAIR OUT!!!
I think in about every blog I address my drought.
Well, last night me and some friends went out, I had a few drinks, feelin good (not buzzed but good).
And the drought got the best of me.
So I called this little boy who doesn't live too far from my job.
And when I say little I mean LITTLE, as in he's entering senior year in high school.
All I wanted to do was make out with the boy! Maybe get my neck sucked on a bit.
I had a romp in the car with the boy before...ugh...the whole 45 seconds I kept thinking I'm going to hell...I'm going to hell for this shit!!! but it was over before I realized he was all the way in!!!
I said "Let me know when you're close" and then I immediately heard his breathing increase. I stopped him and said "Are you done??" He said no but then when I tried to move he said "I'm about to ooze."
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!
Like are you fucking kidding me?! I looked at him, silently put my shirt back on and said "We needa work on that".
So last night when I was making out with him in my car he kept asking me to take off my shorts. Because of the way last time went, I wasn't gonna waste ending a drought on 45 second dick! But I also didn't know how to tell him he came too quick for me.
So I dropped his ass off and went home.
That is what I get for messing with little boys right?
WRONG!!!
Because then there was my neighbor, The Martian (he took that whole Lil' Wayne thing a lil TOO seriously). He was like 4 years older than I am.
And I had sex with him plenty of times.
And lets say out of 15 times he kept his erection TWICE. The first and second times we had sex. Then everything went downhill from there.
It was the same routine EVERY TIME.
First we'd spoon, he'd enter from the back.
Then I'd roll on my stomach,
Then I'd lean over the edge of the bed (his bed came up to my waist. That bed was probably the best thing about going to his house.)
Then he'd pull out cause he got soft on me...and that's when shit got awkward.
Cause he'd rest his dick on my ass and jack off in attempts to get hard.
He'd smush his balls into me (ICK ICK ICK) making the bed shake from his lack of blood in his penis.
At first I was shocked. And I offered to help, like any good sexual partner would do.
But then it started to get irritating.
I'd sit there, ass in the air facing away from him, rolling my eyes the whole time...
It just became too much so whenever he'd text me it would be like "I'm tired" "I'm not home" "I'm sick". And since I didn't wanna have sex with his non erection keeping ass I was all of a sudden acting "brand new".
Well shit he's a janky promoter!
I distinctly remember him telling me (y'all gon make me log into my myspace and find them messages)
Hun, I've done just about everything you can imagine.
Play ya cards right and you might have GREAT stories to tell ya friends
Oh, I got great stories to tell em...THEY ALL LAUGH AT ME!!!
Remember that time you were "puttin in overtime" an the sweat started poppin off your forehead like hot grease and I thought you were spitting on my back?
Oh yeah, sounds like a GREAT time in my book!
Eventually he moved across the country and stopped harassing me.
I'm telling you all of this because I did a phone/twitter poll of which is worse.
Everyone (except this one dude, but I think he's a virgin anyways) said not being able to keep an erection is the worst possible thing that can happen to a man.
And I agree.
Cause if a dude busts that quick nut before your arrival the sex last longer.
This is a proven FACT.
But the dudes I choose, its one thing or another with them.
Because asking for a gent with a big penis and stamina AND good looks is too much to ask these days...
*SIGH* for gents suffering with Limpdickitis I sincerely suggest you invest in a cock ring and do it TOday.
That should keep you hard and your partner pleased.
Babes an gents send me your various opinions @ AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
I love hearin from you guys(:
Homework for this evening!
CROSS
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This was mine && The Big Carl's fave position. Idk why but it's fun!
Yay for good sex!!!
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
I think in about every blog I address my drought.
Well, last night me and some friends went out, I had a few drinks, feelin good (not buzzed but good).
And the drought got the best of me.
So I called this little boy who doesn't live too far from my job.
And when I say little I mean LITTLE, as in he's entering senior year in high school.
All I wanted to do was make out with the boy! Maybe get my neck sucked on a bit.
I had a romp in the car with the boy before...ugh...the whole 45 seconds I kept thinking I'm going to hell...I'm going to hell for this shit!!! but it was over before I realized he was all the way in!!!
I said "Let me know when you're close" and then I immediately heard his breathing increase. I stopped him and said "Are you done??" He said no but then when I tried to move he said "I'm about to ooze."
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!
Like are you fucking kidding me?! I looked at him, silently put my shirt back on and said "We needa work on that".
So last night when I was making out with him in my car he kept asking me to take off my shorts. Because of the way last time went, I wasn't gonna waste ending a drought on 45 second dick! But I also didn't know how to tell him he came too quick for me.
So I dropped his ass off and went home.
That is what I get for messing with little boys right?
WRONG!!!
Because then there was my neighbor, The Martian (he took that whole Lil' Wayne thing a lil TOO seriously). He was like 4 years older than I am.
And I had sex with him plenty of times.
And lets say out of 15 times he kept his erection TWICE. The first and second times we had sex. Then everything went downhill from there.
It was the same routine EVERY TIME.
First we'd spoon, he'd enter from the back.
Then I'd roll on my stomach,
Then I'd lean over the edge of the bed (his bed came up to my waist. That bed was probably the best thing about going to his house.)
Then he'd pull out cause he got soft on me...and that's when shit got awkward.
Cause he'd rest his dick on my ass and jack off in attempts to get hard.
He'd smush his balls into me (ICK ICK ICK) making the bed shake from his lack of blood in his penis.
At first I was shocked. And I offered to help, like any good sexual partner would do.
But then it started to get irritating.
I'd sit there, ass in the air facing away from him, rolling my eyes the whole time...
It just became too much so whenever he'd text me it would be like "I'm tired" "I'm not home" "I'm sick". And since I didn't wanna have sex with his non erection keeping ass I was all of a sudden acting "brand new".
Well shit he's a janky promoter!
I distinctly remember him telling me (y'all gon make me log into my myspace and find them messages)
Hun, I've done just about everything you can imagine.
Play ya cards right and you might have GREAT stories to tell ya friends
Oh, I got great stories to tell em...THEY ALL LAUGH AT ME!!!
Remember that time you were "puttin in overtime" an the sweat started poppin off your forehead like hot grease and I thought you were spitting on my back?
Oh yeah, sounds like a GREAT time in my book!
Eventually he moved across the country and stopped harassing me.
I'm telling you all of this because I did a phone/twitter poll of which is worse.
Everyone (except this one dude, but I think he's a virgin anyways) said not being able to keep an erection is the worst possible thing that can happen to a man.
And I agree.
Cause if a dude busts that quick nut before your arrival the sex last longer.
This is a proven FACT.
But the dudes I choose, its one thing or another with them.
Because asking for a gent with a big penis and stamina AND good looks is too much to ask these days...
*SIGH* for gents suffering with Limpdickitis I sincerely suggest you invest in a cock ring and do it TOday.
That should keep you hard and your partner pleased.
Babes an gents send me your various opinions @ AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
I love hearin from you guys(:
Homework for this evening!
CROSS
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This was mine && The Big Carl's fave position. Idk why but it's fun!
Yay for good sex!!!
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Monday, May 17, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
My Letter To Drake && The "Dick Slang"
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