wahhhhhh

I haven't been on in ages. Prolly cause my sex life is non existent and I have nothing to write about. What's been going on with me? I work like a slave.
-Sleeping with someone you work with when you're there 5 days out the week could possibly be the worst decision you could ever make.
-The Antichrist formerly known as Happenis made a brief reappearance. That was short lived. But at least he remembered my birthday and I got some half decent birthday peen from it. But he wouldn't leave his new girlfriend and wouldn't give me a legit answer as to why he keeps coming back if he A. made it clear he wasn't leavin her ass and B. the bitch apparently sucks dick better than I do (HA! Bitch you wishhhhh). So he had to go. His bitch made him text me a few months after I ended it to "end it again". Then he came back yet AGAIN. But I was sleep. And I haven't heard from him since.
-Sexsomniac, my clutch, is clutch no longer. We had great hotel sex, I fucked him like 5 times that night it was great. Then he moved away, came back to visit, wanted to have sex with him when he was drunk & passed out so I gave him head until he woke up and we had sex and it was great. Then last time he came to visit he promised me sex then fell off the face of the earth. My last option vanished. I haz a sad. Moreso because I have no idea wtf happened. But what can ya do...
-Don't say you're gonna fuck me if you're not. And I hate the fact I feel like a thirsty ass hoe after you tell me that and I'm just over here like "k......soooooo...what's up?" We should've BEEN made this happen. Talkin all kinda shit. Of course you ain't about that life. OF FUCKING COURSE. Because this is me we're talking about.
-I still have yet to have someone explain to me why I come off as "intimidating" and me believe an ounce of what they say. I refuse to believe there is no one out there who just wants to have sex on a few (frequent) occasions. Am I getting old?! Am I supposed to be settled with a boyfriend by now?? IS THAT THE ONLY WAY I'M GOING TO GET LAID AROUND HERE?! Maybe I'll make a BlackPeopleMeet page. Or you think they'll take me on LatinosMeet or nah?
-I got a Christina piercing. It's dope af. I haven't put it to use yet. This makes me sad.

I really don't know what to update this blog with if I'm not having sex. I miss blogging but I literally have nothing to talk about lol. I miss y'all.
-Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Been Gone For A Minute...

...Now I'm back with the jump off. Nah but really...I have missed blogging like A LOT A LOT so i figure I can catch everyone up on what's been going on and shit I do and don't like and whatever else I feel like rambling about today.

So waaaaaaaay back I told you I had sex with this black dude. And it was kinda nice. But lo and behold he is just a piece of shit human being. For the simple fact that he not only had sex with me with no intentions of keeping this on a casual basis (despite what he originally said) he did it the night before he went on a date with his now baby mama to be. Just TRIFLIN. And I wasn't even the one sexually pursuing him! I would've just been cool staying friends and telling him all my man problems but noooo. He'd rather risk a friendship over some pussy. Smh. I was pissed because he knew this the whole time and we were good friends prior to the whole sex thing which makes me feel like he played me as his friend. And you don't play your friends. Lol.

Then there's Sexsomniac's bitch ass. Everything was cool with him...then I met this guy I thought I was really starting to like so I just kinda stopped replying to his late night drunk texts, because in some odd way I felt guilty. And plus I didn't wanna tell him we can't have sex because of another dude, because if shit doesn't work out with said dude (which it ISN'T) I didn't wanna lose out on my clutch! Well, we all know how he likes to bring me around his lady friends (like a dumb ass). I mean SERIOUSLY. What do you call a dude who brings his fuck buddy (I really hate that term.....trying to come up with a better word for it lol) around every one of his new girlfriends when the both of you already know he's going to cheat? And I mean he wastes no time. There's never a relationship nesting period with him. He will have gotten with the bitch the day before and still hit me up talking about "Let's have sex". Bitch. NO. Go away. This shit is beYOND old by now and I'm over the shit. Oh, and now the chick he isn't dating but calls him babe and posts pics on ig with, I work with her. Sir, your dick is not good enough to lose my job over.

Oh yeah. I have a "regular" job now. It sucks donkey dick. Corporate america, direct deposit, uncle sam, bi-weekly paychecks and everything can kiss my hi yella ass, btw. I hate this life. I wish there was a popular club that wasn't a million miles away that I could work at because I am not adjusting to the normal life very well. I feel poor as fuck. And that is not a good feeling! I like, NEED to finish school and become a coroner already because I like to have nice things and I don't like having to budget. First world problems, poor me:(

Anyways, It's taken everything inside of me not to call him out around his bitch. Some days I wish I was a messy ass hoodrat...but I'm not . So I be quiet. But when he leave........best believe I be talkin again.

Then there was the Puerto Rican. Everything was lovely, the head was great, the sex was great, the weed was great EVERYTHING WAS GREAT. Then one day we were hanging out and I just looked at him and thought, "You know, I don't think I really like you!" and the shit went downhill from there. I started not wanting to hang out with our friends together, because I hated the idea of showing up WITH him. Like here THEY come. As if we're a package deal. I'm my own person, as is he, and that's that. I felt like the less I was starting to like him the more he started to like me, which was a shitty sitchy within itself. Now that whole "It's not you, it's me" cliche makes a ton of fucking sense! Because he literally didn't do anything! Then I started to loathe the idea of us having sex. And essentially that was all this was anyways so once the sex stops being fun...I mean when you get to a point where you don't even want them giving you head...like this shit goes DEEP. I feel like such a horrible person. But you shouldn't have to force things right?

Please don't hold my hand after sex.
Please don't ever fucking call what we do LOVE MAKING. EVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Don't give my vag any goofy ass 4 year old names. We're fucking grown. And that shit is kinda creepy.
Unless I pursue you fully knowing you have a gf...don't bother fucking talking to me.
Have you ever just been disgusted by a person you used to like a lot? Like the idea of them pointing their erection even remotely in your direction makes you queasy? No..? Just me? Fuuuuuuh.
I find out everything. I'm one cunning sneaky ass bitch.
I'm kinda semi involuntarily celibate right now, which sucks. But then again you know me, I don't settle.
My mechanic is harrassing me again. Mind you I only hung out with him once on my birthday like two years ago. And all we did was drive around town. I mean why are you randomly calling me at 4 in the afternoon? Shouldn't you be working? And stop sending me requests on fb!
When I stop fucking with you I really stop fucking with you. DO yourself a favor and just stop trying. You're only making it harder on yourself, and I'm trying to be nice here
I really miss my vertical clit hood piercing. Like a lot a lot.
I had sex for a week straight. Did not end well. Some people are better suited for sex once a week, or every other week. Once a day is too much stress for some people's bodies. Not mine.
I have had the weirdest reoccurring fantasy about anal. I've done it like twice not too long ago...and I kinda wanna do it more than once in a blue moon.
Be a man with me. Grab your balls and fucking assert yourself. Don't be a fucking pussy. One thing I hate is a weak man. I like manly men. That know how to man handle me. I hate passive aggressive dudes.
Do guys ask for butthole pics? Do girls randomly send them? I need answers.
I'm not a nympho.

OHandihadsexwithhappenisliketwiceanditwasamazingbothtimesdontjudgemekbye.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

CLUTCH.

I was having a talk with my bestest male friend in the whole wide world about what needs to be done in order to get my sexual needs met. I asked him why can't I just have sex with someone every day, or at least a few times a week and he tells me because dudes consider that to be boyfriend territory. Well that isn't fucking fair! A lot of the dudes I've slept with would be terrible boyfriends. That's not why I have sex with them. Sometimes they know how to move their asses just right and I can appreciate that! I'm like so what you're saying is I need a boyfriend huh...well I know plenty of people in relationships who LIVE together and still don't have sex all the time. Which I find very weird. So basically he told me I'm literally assed out. Life is so fucking unfair:( I figure the only way I can accomplish this is by having a steady rotation, and I don't wanna do that. I just wanna find someone like me who only wants to have sex all the time. I didn't think it would be that hard to find, ohhhh but it is! I mean if having a boyfriend means I'll get it more often then shit, what choice do I really have (and no, I wouldn't want a boyfriend JUST for sex. I'd actually care for them too. The sex would just be a big ass bonus). In the meantime I'll just count the hairs on my head until the next time I get laid.

Sexsomniac comes in too clutch. I love the fact that we can go out and kick it with our friends, have sex later, and continue kicking it and it isn't weird. He doesn't try to make shit weird around us, but then it's prolly cause the people we hang around with already know we hook up on occasion. He usually comes around right before I'm about to snap and break dishes and whatnot, and for that I'm thankful he keeps me sane. Even when he has a girlfriend he comes in clutch. And maybe if they were a lot nicer and not so damn stuck up I wouldn't let him come in clutch. D'ahh well. So one night he hits me up and I think I was really blown and he tells me to come drive to east jesus nowhere to drink. I think I'll have to pass on this. The next day my brother hits me up and asks if I wanna go to lunch with them. I say sure, but the only catch is I still have to drive to east jesus nowhere to go pick them up. Fuuuuuuuuh. But I haven't seen him in months since he's been on the rag (I.e. been with his punk ass bitch of a gf) and I was like alright. We all spent the day together and we were gonna go to a party that night. Before we went they wanted to stop by Sexsomniac's house to shower and change clothes and whatnot. So I'm just there waiting for them to get ready and whatnot, while they're just doing stupid things boys like to do, and Sexsomniac suggests my brother take a shower first. All I'm thinking is I hope these hoes hurry up I still have to go home and get ready. So once the shower starts running he closes the door and says "You wanna have sex right now?" All I said was "Right now?" and he lifted my leg around him, laid me down and kissed me in one swift motion. You smooth ass bastard you. He starts unbottoning my pants and flips me over on my stomach and I'm like wait...what if he comes in. So he thinks moving in front of the door is a better idea. "Oh great so now he's gonna hit me in the face with the door while my pants are at my ankles". He was like "Let's just go to my mom's room" (Sorry!) and we get a quickie in. I used to be anti quickie, but now not so much. We straighten ourselves out and he asks me if we've ever had sex when he's sober. Not that I can remember. And then he asks why we don't have sex more often. I wanted to slap him. We don't have sex more often because of YOU. It's your fault. I let every dude know after we have a good sesh that I'd like to have sex all the time (I should probably stop saying this) so the ball is always in their court. I hate having to ask for sex because I don't like hearing no whether they're too busy, not in town, have a girlfriend at the moment or just plain ol' don't want to (which is insane). I'm like when you wanna have sex you let ME know. You know this. For the most part I'm always down. Now if you hit me up for sex and I just flat out say no, then I don't fuck with you anymore and you should take the hint then. And not continue to ask 4 years and counting later. If memory serves me correctly he said he's work on it or something.

After we leave his house we go to my house so I can get ready and we go to this party. Now my friend asked me in advance if I was gonna invite this other guy I've had sex with and I'm like no, I'm bringing Sexsomniac. I know not to ruin a good thing by bringing sand to the beach. I am NOT about to choose between my clutch and the best head giver this side of the west coast. There's no way to equally divide my attention between the two where they feel like I only have lustful eyes for them. So she says okay, and then 5 minutes away from her house she texts me "OMG HE'S HERE." HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?! He ended up coming with someone else who was invited and she wasn't gonna turn him away. I'm like fuuuuuuck this is bad. I just had sex like 3 hours ago. Fuck my lifeeeeeeee. We go inside the house and I say what's up to him and give him a hug, then offer to give him some stuff he forgot last time I saw him. On the way outside he tells me he's "officially single", whatever the fuck THAT means (we'll get on that when I post his blog). And I'm like well that's god to know, seeing as to how I didn't say anything to him about sex, a relationship, or his on and off gf at that time. Whatever. I tried to make the night as normal as possible, although I did slip up and ended up sitting in his lap for a little bit, before my senses kicked in and were like "Bitch just what the fuck do you think you're doing?". The night ended drama free, which is what I wanted to begin with and we all went on our merry ways. Although...I was high once again that night and Sexsomniac wanted to leave early but I wasn't ready to go. So I dropped him off and came back, hung out with the dude (he needs a nickname already) just to get kicked out by my friend's drunk ass boyfriend not too long after. The weed was saying go after him, my brain was saying thou shalt not fornicate with two men in less than 24 hours. So I just drove my ass home. Glad that was over.

I said I would only sleep with three new people this year then I would find a boyfriend (keep your judging to yourself. You knew what you were coming to read when you clicked the link) and right now I only have one spot left and it's only fucking April. Something's gotta give. I just wanna be a reformed semi sex addict where I don't NEED it all the damn time. Is that possible? Do I have to go to rehab? Sex addicts anonymous? I really don't wanna have to do all that extra shit...

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Random Pish Posh

So here's another random ass blog of just stuff that's been on my mind lately.

First off, FUCK El Capitan okay. After that first day when he only fucked me once he promised me that next time would be longer. Okay. So we planned to meet up again, and this time he requested anal. I didn't remember him being too girthy so I thought, shit, why the fuck not. I get into town and go to work, since I'm going to see him in the morning. Mind you I didn't even wanna be in town that weekend I only went for some peen. He told me to come at 8:30 which meant I had time to go eat breakfast and head out to him. I made it out there at 7:30 and at 8 he tells me sorry he fell asleep on me but if I can pick him up an hr away. Are you shitting me?! I just drove an hour to see you! I was just like shit I'm already out here for some peen might as well. But he owes me BIG TIME. I was not even 5 minutes into my journey to go see him before he started complaining about having his bike with him and how it wouldn't fit in my car or some shit. Then he said today is just not a good day I'm sorry and fell off the face of the earth. MOTHERFUCKER. I could've been sleep!!!! I called him everything but a child of god that morning. A few weeks later he hits me up and asks if I wanna come hang out with him cause he's having a party. I asked him if his parents were outta town or something and he says yeah. I'm like I'm down, thinking once the party is over I can hang around for a bit since no one is gonna be there. He asks if I can bring some friends for his cousins. I don't see why not, although the only girls I know work at the club and it would be kinda hard to pull them away from work on a Friday night. I figured I'd fib a bit, say they were coming on their own, and when they didn't show be fake mad about it, but suggesting we should still have sex since I'm already there. Well, I get there and lemme tell you I'm SOOO GLAD none of my friends came thru. Bitch sent me on a dirty mission! When I told him if I brought girls they wouldn't be strippers his cousins were disappointed. Cause you know, all strippers are easy. When I got there I was horrified. If my friend asked me to hang out with her dude's friends and they were all ugly I'd punch her in the ovaries. Which is exactly what my friends woulda done. And I wouldn't have even been mad at them about it. None of them were cute. I hung around and then after an hour I said they weren't coming. This bitch then decided to send me on my merry way because "he didn't want me to hang out here by myself". What about the original fucking reason I came out here in the first place bitch?! I was too hot because once again I drove to him for some peen and left empty handed. When I brought up that fact he said "I know, that sucks." Well fuck you too then! He drunkenly hit me up after that, but other than that I haven't heard from his punk ass. I'm not with that shit lol. And btw he's still using the nickname that I came up with as his name on twitter. As of now he has to find a new nickname. He is no longer allowed to use it.

OH! Here's another thing that pissed me off. So I have this friend who lives a few states away, but we still text each other nshit and we had always discussed meeting up soon, but the shit never got past the random suggestion stage. One day he randomly hits me up telling me he'll be in Vegas soon and if I would like to come I'm basically more than welcome. I'm like yessss a weekend in Vegas with some guaranteed peen why the fuck not. He let me know about 2 months prior so I had enough time to get my life together. First it was gonna be a trip with me and my friends and I would just see him while I was down there. Then my friends bailed so my sole purpose of even going was to hang out with him. As the date approached, I felt like I was asking about Vegas more than he was, and it was his trip! We talked like a week before about it and how he was basically going to fuck my brains out and I was all "yaaaaaaay". A few days before the trip I asked if he was driving so I knew whether I'd need a cab, or if I should just drive the entire way, you know just needing to straighten out some fuzzy details. no response. Hit him the next day since it was kinda late his time. Nothing. Finally a day before I'm supposed to leave he hits me and says yeah my buddy drove. This was after I had already seen him update fb and twitter that he was indeed driving with his friend. Tf? I decided to leave my car in SoCal and take a shuttle to Vegas and asked if he could get me from the Excalibur. He told me they just took a shuttle to and from the strip, and that it stops at the Excalibur. When I asked him what time he'd be done Friday so I knew what time to leave he told me when he'd be done for the entire weekend and I'm like no, I just need to know about Friday. No response. Sent him a pic of my fresh ass wax job. Nothing. Now he was starting to piss me off. Friday morning I text him and ask him what the plan was. Once again I got nothing. So I was like fuck it you must not want me to go then! I gave him until 4pm, cause I was not about to be driving to Vegas at all times of the night. 4pm came and nothing. So I said fuck it and hung out with Sexsomniac and my brother instead. I told them what was going on and was like "Watch. He's gonna hit me up around 9 asking where I'm at. Ol' smug ass bastard.". Like I'm going to Vegas alone. I'm not gonna drive out there and twiddle my thumbs hoping you might hit me up. What would happen if you didn't?  I would've just wasted my gas and been stuck in Vegas. Sure enough 10 o'clock came and I got a "Are you in Vegas?" text. Bitch are you serious?! I haven't heard from you all day, not to mention trying to get info from you was like pulling teeth and you still expected me to go? So I did him how he did me and ignored his ass while continuing to tweet and update my fb. When I finally did answer I hit him with a dry ass "Nope." and he sent me a sad face. Bitch get the entire fuck outta here okay? This is YOUR fault. Although I wasn't tripping because of course Sexsomniac came in clutch as always. But that's another blog for another day.

I went on a date last week. And don't get me wrong I enjoyed myself and the free Ruth's Chris Steak House. Just not the guy I was with. Lol. He was slightly annoying. He was a 32 yr old white guy who was a regional manager of a produce company from Sacramento to Bakersfield. And not interesting whatsoever. He was more interested by me. I was trying to be kinda mean and weird, and that made him like me even more. Fuhhhhhhhh. After the date and my steak he started hitting me up every day to plan our next date for the following week. Slow ya roll sir. I stopped answering his texts and he would literally have full blown conversations with himself. He called me rude for not returning a compliment or even saying thank you, and how I'm missing out on him and whatnot. After 12 unanswered texts I know I would get the hint. Not this guy. He wants to take me to Flemmings next. I don't think I have the heart to stomach another date with him for free yummy food when I don't even wanna be at the same table as the guy. We are in two completely different places in our lives! I was trying to picture him hanging out with my friends and I couldn't do it. I imagined him being uncomfortable as fuck. I don't wanna be a bitch but I swear he wants to meet my mom and get my dad's blessing already! I copped out and told him his persistence was kinda killing it for me and he said he really likes me and is intrigued by me and he doesn't want that. He knows I'm busy so he'll let up. Hopefully I won't have to hear from him again. lol.

Sometimes I wish I didn't like good dick so much. It makes me crazy. I feel like I don't get it enough to turn it down when they act stupid, which in turn makes me mad cause they still continue to act stupid. But I need it more than I need them to stop acting stupid, if that makes any sense to you. Makes perfect sense in my head.

I need to stop smoking/consuming weed. I need to be able to land a day job with clean pee so stripping can go back to being my side hustle. Because Uncle Sam is fucking me in the ass with no lube.

I can't remember the last time I watched porn. And I only watch it when I'm about to rub one out. So I haven't done that either. Be proud of me.

Puerto Ricans eat thee best pussy. This is not up for debate.

I like my guy to make the first move so I don't feel like some sex addicted spider monkey feind. My aggression scares people for some reason. So I'll just sit here and wait on you instead.

If I refer to you as a brother that doesn't mean hop in the bed with me at 3am asking if I wanna cuddle. And when I say no and threaten to fart on you if you touch me to whine and complain about how horny you are. Clearly you are unclear on the concept. And I don't care how horny you are. Stay on your fucking side of the bed and shut the fuck up or get out and sleep on the floor. All the other brothers get it! Get with the program!

Are we still out there eating ass? Not that I'm looking to have mine ate I'm just curious.

Good kissers make my panties wet. So do hickies.

I've lost 7 lbs. But probably gained back half of that over spring break. Boo.

I'd like to thank the Mexican boy who lived around the corner for making me who I am today. Without him my oral skills wouldn't be as on point as they are. Practice makes perfect, and when we'd get outta school 2 hours early every other Wednesday I sure as hell got my practice in. Although you annoy the shit out of me now and I will most likely never fuck you again, I wanna say I do appreciate you! Every time I see someone's eyes roll into the back of their head and feel their legs spasm. You go, Glen Coco.

The best way to end spring break is to have said Puerto Rican eating you out while you smoke a bowl. Yessss spring break turned out better than I expected.

Well, I'm off to get ready for work. I shall still update you on Sexsomnaic and the Puerto Rican.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Hello Stranger

After everyone left it was just my friend, Sexsomniac and I in the hotel room. We were sitting on the floor on the side of the bed. He started touching my thigh and I looked at him and asked what he was doing. He said "Touching your leg...you want me to stop?" and I was like nope...do what you do. Then my friend came back in the room and just looked at us. Let's see....how am I going to swing this one? So I asked him to take one for the team and go "take a shower" and He was like "Omg why do I have to take a shower why can't I get in the bed and go to sleep?!" But he did me a solid and took a shower anyways. Once he was in the bathroom we moved to the other side of the room and got down to business. I kept my tank on and grabbed a blanket to semi cover us and I started riding him. Everything was all good til my friend cut his shower short. He came out the bathroom when I was on my hands and knees and Sexsomniac was behind me. He hunched over mem a bit, then pulled the covers up and told me to lay down. My friend hopped in the bed and turned the opposite way and texted on his phone a bit while we tried to continue. I was laying on my side while he had his hand in the small of my back and we started again sloooooowly. But I hate slow sex and my friend is like a brother to me so it was kinda creepy. I suggested we take it to the bathroom like everyone else. I wrapped the blanket around my naked waist and he covered his head and we looked like one of those weird horse costumes where you have one person as the head and the other one as the ass. Better yet we looked like one of those centaur creature looking things. We went into the bathroom and it was pretty dope that they had a red light. Red lights are sexy they soften everything and cast little sexy shadows everywhere...
I leaned over the bathroom counter and he pushed my tank up and unhooked my bra then bent me over the sink. The sink was a little higher up than my waist so I kinda had to stand on my tip toes to achieve that perfect 90 degree angle. I put one leg on the counter and everything was going great until we decided to get on the ground. Mind you when I got down there I was thinking of the two sweaty hookers that were just in there and that kind of freaked me out but I tried to push it as far out of my mind as possible.
So as you all know boys pee with the toilet seat up. And I was in a room FULL of boys. I was bent down by the toilet and for some reason I kept sliding every time he thrusted. Next thing you know I lose my balance and BAM I hit my lip on the edge of the toilet seat. I could just feel my lip swelling. Fuck. Now I can't quite remember who's idea it was to get into the shower to have sex, but we did. Now if you guys recall the first and last time I had shower sex was with The Carnie and I slipped and fell out the shower, busted my shoulder and broke the toilet. But for some reason forgot that shit ever happened and hopped my happy naked ass into the shower. Shower sex is dangerous. Nobody ever tells you the bad side to shower sex, only the good shit. But then again bad things are always prone to happen to me during sex. Hence the reason for the creation of this blog in the first place. I soaped him up a little bit and then he turned me around facing the shower head and bent me over. I think we were in a handicap accessible room because the shower was big af and there was a bar inside. so I spread my feet apart to get as much stability as I could and grabbed hold of the bar. The water felt like warm pool water, it wasn't freezing but it wasn't warm either. Still had a bit of a chill to it. The water was running down my back which felt amazeballs, said fuck my hair and just enjoyed it. I turned around and blew him for a bit, as my hair said bitch I hate you, and turned back around. I was having fun until he grabbed me by my hair. When he pulled my hair my head jerked back and was angled so that the water was falling right into my mouth. So I'm sitting here trying to breathe, not to moan, and spitting out water at the same time. Who knew you could drown in the shower? I had to breathe thru my mouth so I didn't get water in my nose but at the same time I was half choking on it. But it didn't bother me too much, because I still got mine and he got his. I soaped him down again, dried off, and went into the room again.
SIDEBAR: Idk why I'm laughing like a loon now, but when I picture myself half washing his dick half giving him a hand job idk I lose it.
He asked me if I was going to stay there and go to sleep, he gave me a pillow, covered me up and went to sleep. I just laid there for a minute, then thought shit I wanna sleep in my own bed and left.
Now I must say that was an interesting Sunday night if I do say so myself. Yes I sinned on the lord's day so what. Kiss my ass.
My new year's resolution is to blog more. And to get my site up and running. I'm kinda over blogger. Now if only I could get my boo @VeronicaVice to gimme some tips on getting it up and running. (P.S. go follow her)...

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

The Big Stripper Orgy! Kinda...

hay hay hay. I told myself I would at least write one more post before 2012 is over. So next on the list is my reunion with Sexsomniac. He's been coming in so clutch lately. Like he has helped me in my lil situation more than he knows.
Speaking of which, I still haven't spoken to the antichrist, he seems pretty content with his current situation and I can't be too mad at that...For the most part after the initial shock and borderline depression it has been a lot easier than I would've expected. But then again I think the only way I'm managing to stay sane are the edibles that just make me not give a flying fuckotash about anything. But shit I'm not hurting anyone so whatever works. I'm just waiting for the day I can't even stand the thought of being back with him.

But anyhoe...let me tell you about what went down the night I hung out with Sexsomniac. So it was Thanksgiving vacation and my friend was in town. Sexsomniac hit me up and asked me if I wanted to kick it with him. I honestly can't even remember the last time we had actually had sex but hey. Why not? It was a Sunday night and I wasn't doing shit anyways. When I got the hotel I got off the elevator and I just remember seeing these two big girls following me. I heard one of them ask "It's room 302 right?" and I'm thinking, wait, I"M going to room 302...so I power booked it down the hall to the room. When I get there my friend, Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap and the Mexican Breast Feeder were there plus some white guy I had never seen before in my life. I asked them if they invited any other girls and they just stared at me. Soon enough the big chicks opened the door and asked where the bathroom was so they could get ready. As soon as they shut the bathroom door Sexsomniac stepped into the hallway and I just pointed and silent laughed at everyone in the room. The Mexican Breast Feeder started to look at me and I was like "Oh hell no. I was summoned on pleasure not business fuck you guys I'm gonna enjoy the show." Idk why they always call these stripping companies to pay for bean poles and whales when they have *me* on call. They know what I look like already! But I digress.
The girls come out of the bathroom in their tacky ass lingerie and I can't help but think one of the girls looks familiar. After doing some questioning I found out I knew her from high school. She was a year older than me. We shall call her...Peggy. And her friend can be...Shelly. So Shelly looks around the room and asks who's gonna go first. Nobody moved, nobody said shit. I volunteered Mr. Dunlap since it was his birthday. The look he gave me = priceless. So the girls start hopping into laps...and because they're slightly on the bigger side they never get completely naked. They leave their lingerie top things around their waists. The Mexican Breast Feeder asks me if I would join the ladies in performing and Shelley chimes in and says she would love to see my boobs cause she likes girls. Um. No. Ma'am. I told her she was working and I wasn't gonna impose on her money. Oh I almost forgot to add we were listening to music off Shelley's phone with that ridiculous ass Boom Cube thing. This entire night was just getting more ratchet by the second. Peggy suggests that they start the private shows and she and the white boy head off to the bathroom. As they walked past me I was wondering if he noticed or even cared about the big ass herpe looking sore on her ass cheek. After they go in I noticed the Mexican Breast Feeder and Sexsomniac had both called me and I was confused because we were in the same room. I asked why they called me and they were like "Well you said no one called you to come work., so we were calling you now." Too late bitches lol. Shelley asks if we wanna see some dollar tricks. Okay, now you have my attention. Wtf is a dollar trick? You tip her a few dollars and she'll pick it up with her cooch. I had to see this so I ponied up some ones from the boys and gave em to her. She folded them in half hot dog style, put them on Mr. Dunlap's stomach, and she made sure to tell me "you gotta be a little wet first" and she crouched down and picked the shit up. Money is DIRTY AS FUCK. Okay? And you're picking up that dirty shit. With your PUSS. I know your cooch is absolute trash cause you clearly don't treat it with respect. I won't even take a dollar out a customer's mouth with my mouth, let alone my cooch. But whatever will pay your bills get it how you live pymp.
Peggy comes out the bathroom to see her partner getting tips and she says "Well anyone got a 5?" I'm like what are you gonna do with a 5? She says she'll roll it up and stick it up her butt. I think I'll pass. Then she says she can do a beer bottle trick for 20. Now this I HAVE to see. I pony up some more money from the boys and she's like she needs a clean beer bottle. She picks one up to go clean it and Shelley says "I wouldn't fuck a girl who knows how to do a beer bottle trick. Everyone just stares at the white guy and he puts his cowboy hat back on and doesn't say shit else for the rest of the night. She comes back in the room and all this lazy bitch did was fuck herself with it! Trick my ass!!! Shelley and Mr. Dunlap head off into the bathroom next and Peggy is just like...wtf do I do with myself. She gives a few more lap dances and sees Sexsomiac with a Shocktop. She's like omg is that a Shocktop can I have some? He stares at the bottle, then back at her and tells her she can just have it. She's like no I just want a taste and he's like no really, you can keep it. She takes a drink and tries to give it back and he stares at it like it's covered in AIDS. He Sends em a sad text saying "I really wanted that Shocktop, it was the last one:(" I tell him to just wash it off and he's like fuck no. Oh well. Lol. I look at the time cause I'm like these bitches have been here a long ass time so I ask Peggy how long these shows are supposed to be and she's like shiiiiit we went waaaay over time. She gets dressed, rolls a blunt, and asks if anyone cares to join her she'll be outside. Nobody went to join her. Before she left I asked if she was taking her friend with her and she's like "Oh. She's a big girl she knows when the show is over." Then I asked if she was gonna take her swtuff and she was like "I don't touch anything that ain't mine" and left. I knocked on the door like 4 times to let Shelley know her time was up, that her partner left and that her stuff was still here. she comes out the bathroom dressed, pissed her partner left her and when I said she left her stuff cause she didn't wanna touch it she was like "Pfft, yeah right." Damn.
After the girls left I cornered the white guy and asked him what happened.  He would only touch his cowboy hat and not say shit. All I could get him to admit to was that he fingered her MAYBE a little bit. Mr. Dunlap on the other hand was not shy at all "YEAH I FUCKED HER. And she sucked the shit outta my balls while she jacked me off. And I would've put it in her butt if my legs weren't shaking so much." These are the people I hang out with. I'm thinking if she did that with you guys, who else have they done it with. That's why I keep my bougie ass in the clubs and out the hotel rooms. Mr. Dunlap paid me 50 bucks for a topless lap dance but thank god he told me it felt "weird". Cause I didn't wanna do the shit anyways. Then he squished his fat ass body on me and Sexsomniac with all his BBW stripper sweat juice on us and I felt so dirty. He's a bitch for that. Gross. After he left the Mexican Breast Feeder kept trying to have a threesome with me and Sexsomniac claiming they were so close that one time like a year ago. Bitch please. Go sit in a corner I DON'T WANT YOU! After a few failed attempts he finally left and me and Sexsomniac were sitting on the floor and he kept touching the inside of my thigh. Finally.

I'll save the actual sex part for the next blog. FYI shower sex is only halfway what it's cracked up to be. Shits dangerous af.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Play Your Cards Right...

I. Fucking. HATE. That cliche ass phrase. Who do you think you are? The only time I want to hear that shit is if Tupac and Keyshia Cole are doing a duet. But more on that in a minute. I took last weekend off and tramped the entire time...smh. Let's break it down into three parts, shall we?

FIRST SHIFT
"Back then they didn't want me. Now I'm hot they all on me" no truer words have ever been spoken Mike Jones (who?!?!). Its amazing the power a pair of tits holds. Everyone who ignored me in high school all of a sudden want to hang out. One guy in particular I had in an art class. I was a senior, he was a sophomore. A cute one at that. He was really quiet, and every time i turned around to talk to him and hi friend he'd always give me this nervous type laugh like "bitch if you don't turn your ass around and let me paint..." So it never got far. Then out of nowhere he adds me on fb. I immediately posted on his wall "YOU HATED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!" and he goes on an on about how he never hated me blah blah blah asking me how my butt and boobs got bigger. I really didn't have time for it so I was like what do you want?He wanted to hang out (of course) and I told him he never wanted to hang out in high school. "Well I was a little boy back then". Hun, you're STILL a little boy to me now. He was kinda annoying, texting me things like "Would you ever show me a picture of your butt??" or "can you strip for me?" Like couldn't sext worth a damn. So I stopped replying. My friend was in my ear about how I should give him a chance and she heard he puts it down (HAH!!!) and I just couldn't get over this pedo feeling I had. Finally we arranged to have this blind date type meet up and he was too excited.

"Are you going to hang out with so and so? If so I'm with her:)"
"Are you still coming??"

Ugh. SHUT UP!!!!! When I got there he came outside and gave me a hug, then didn't say shit else to me the entire night. Huh? He let this guy who kinda looks and acts EXACTLY like Happenis. Fucking CRAZY! He made me take a shot of gin with him and this is where the night starts going downhill. More on him later tho. It was clear ol' Ninito over there wasn't going to make a move, and I had Sexsomniac on my line wanting to play BP, so I excused myself for the evening. But not before Happenis Jr. and I exchanged numbers. Highway robbery biatch! Po' lil' tink tink also known as Ninito gave me another hug before I left, for what reason, idk...and I went to see Sexsomniac.

SECOND SHIFT
I met up with Sexsomniac at the grocery store and it looked like he was walking with a fat skinhead, which would've been weird since he was Mexican...Upon further inspection it was none other than Mr. Dunlap! And another short cholo OG  Mexican which I found out was his dad...who was pissy ass drunk. I wish he'd warn me when I'm about to meet people in his family>:/ His dad comes up to me telling me "Mija you're so beautiful, mijo, who's this pretty lady?" He grabbed my hand to shake it and held on it a tad bit too long. Under normal circumstances I'd be creeped the fuck out but since this was his daddy I was being nice. He starts asking what kind of music I like and if I have a boyfriend and whatnot...then offers me a beer. I don't drink beer so I decline, telling him I only drink liquor. He spots my Smirnoff bottle and asks for a shot. I always respect my elders, drunk or not. So even though I didn't want to, I gave him one anyways. We were all waiting on my brother to arrive so we could go to this party and I'm telling you he couldn't have come soon enough! Or so I thought. Even though Mr. Dunlap had PLENTY of room in his car they made the drunk daddy ride with me, who's telling me the entire ride to the house "Mija if anyone gives you shit you just tell me and I'll handle it." Sir, you're the ONLY one giving me shit.
We pull up to the house and lo an behold what do ya know it's that prick who tried molesting me in my sleep's house! I stayed for like 2.5 seconds and then dipped when they asked if I could take the drunk daddy home. HELL NO. I couldn't figure out why Sexsomniac wasn't paying  me much attention until my brother told me he met ANOTHER girl with the same name and he though I was her. Welp. That explains a lot. Bitch.

THIRD SHIFT
Final destination of the night, I made it alive and sober. Think back a couple of blogs when I was talking about having sex with the guy who yelled "oh no quickieeeeee" when we were having sex? Well yeah he redeemed himself that night. Much to my pleasure.
I ended up drinking a few cocktails, then making a McDonalds run for a frozen strawberry lemonade just to add more vodka to it. Next thing I know I was holding up walls and throwing up. Apparently I fell a couple times, spilled my drink during King's Cup & some more shit...smh. As the night went on the drunker I got and me and lets call him......Goblin for now because he likes Odd Future. Well anyways we go to his room and the whole way there he keeps slapping me on the ass asking where did all my ass come from (apparently my ass got bigger and people are taking note). I don't remember what the fuck I was talking about, except after he shut the door and put music on I remember him telling me "Okay how about you shut up and make out with me". I just do as I'm told lol. He pushed me on the bed and got on top for a little bit, and I don't remember if I took my top off first or if he took my shorts off first all I remember is we were naked. He reached into the nightstand and shit went ALL THE WAY the fuck down. On my back I propped my legs on his shoulders for leverage and away he went. Everything is kinda a blur honestly. He wasn't much of a talker, except when he told me it was my turn to be on top lol. Cowgirl, to reverse cowgirl, to back on my back. Then he did something no one had ever done to me before. He bitch slapped me across the fucking face! Like 3 times. And weirdly enough...I kinda liked it. It caught me so off guard, and he was so in the moment...Intense shit right there. He rolled me on my stomach and it was over. I can't remember who was in the house or if anyone else heard me but I don't think me smothering my face with a pillow helped much. It felt THAT fucking amazing. Like Happenis status I can't remember a time when I got close to seeing stars like that. He had his nails dug into my hips pretty deep while he was handling business and all of a sudden he pushed me across the bed! Guess someone was finished! Glad he pulled out cause with all that vigorous stroking the condom broke. Thank God for depo and negative test results! He just kept saying "I pulled out....I pulled out" over and over again...turned me around, said "that was intense" and kissed me before going to get a towel out of the closet. I was in a lust stricken daze. Once I came to I wiped myself off, then started to wipe the sheets and he was like "No!! You blot the cum you never rub it!!!" Well hey, learn something new every day...Went to sleep and woke up with the worst alcohol poisoning ever. I threw up like 3 more times, and since I had thrown up my fries the night before, I had nothing left but stomach acid to throw up. It was terrible. I couldn't even keep water down.

"Who's in the bathroom is Ricky taking a dump?"
"No that drunk girl is in there...throwing up...again..."

After a while we got up, he made me some soup, and then I promised I'd buy him another bottle of mouthwash and then left. Now I wanted to bang him again a few hours later after I recovered, but he seemed a lil distant. Nothing weird there. Then Sunday night I debated on texting him for a round two. We all know how I get about asking for dick. I hate rejection with a passion whether I'm asking you to lunch or for some dick. Curly Fries tells me to just do it cause all guys love when girls beg for the peen. I decided to do it. I just told him I'd be up for a round two and you know what he told me?

"Yeah the other night was great. Maybe if you play your cards right you can have a round two..."

JIGGA WHAT?! JIGGA WHO?! Wait wait wait what the fuck just happened there?! TF does that even mean?! Sorry but when it comes to me asking for sex "Maybe" and "play your cards right" are two things I don't wanna fucking hear!!! That ultimately just pissed me off so I didn't even text back. Bullfuckingshit I tell you...Swear to god good reliable dick is such a hard thing to come by these days. I just wanna fuck you all day you idiot. And I mean that in the nicest way possible if you're reading this. I think we can all make time in our day to have sex at least once. But I damn digress. Shit. Of course any wonderful drought ending such as this always has to have a sucky ass ending. Fuck. Shit. Balls. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel that was an easy let down like "yeah bitch, I killed your shit. Don't be expecting a damn thing from me". But he's such a sweet guy when I'm around him what the fuck is going on?!

Mental note to self: Don't ask guys for sex. Ever. They don't like that shit.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

PORN.

I haven't been getting my stupid semi-weekly dose of dick and it's really starting to show. I haven't had great full body spasm sex since January. .I got close in March, but that was ruined. And I haven't had sex for over a month now. I am seriously going fucking bananas over here. I don't think the shit is fair. Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to go out during the week and meet people. That's my main problem I have no new work. And I can't go meet new work if I don't go out, right? But really the only time people wanna do shit is on the weekends when I'm shaking my ass for dollas. (Sorry if there are funky ass lookin words. Blogging from the netbook and sometimes this bitch decides not to put the letters even when I press them and right this second I'm too lazy to go back and proof read). I've only found one cute classmate, and even then he's kind of a nerd and slowly losing his sex appeal the longer we go without hooking up. I might give him a shot when the semester is over...fingers fucking crossed that it's more than halfway decent but less than amazeballs cause he's leaving a month after school ends and it would suck if the sex was great and he just up and left...

Anyways all the Einsteins out there seem to think masturbation is my cure all end all. Let me just say I'm about thisclose to going fucking blind from all these sucky ass elf induced orgasms. I don't need to JUST have an orgasm I need to go HAM on a dick, I need my back blown the fuck out and slapped around a bit and all that good shit. If someone ever saw me tryna do that shit to myself I'd probably be admitted into the nut house. Anyways I've been watching a fuck ton of porn lately and recently decided to switch it up from Girl Girl porn back to Boy Girl porn. The first porn I watched was BG and it was cool for a minute but aside from the money shots they got kinda boring. Then I started noticing things people watching porn trying to get off shouldn't notice. That's how I knew it was time to switch it up.

BOY GIRL PORN
Okay so my main question is where are all the attractive male porn stars? Doing gay porn:( Sucks in porn that as a guy you really don't need anything but a big dick and some stamina. I hate staring at ugly guys when I'm tryna get off. How the fuck am I supposed to get off on that shit when I can't get past that ugly ass mug?? Not to mention the sex faces make it sooooo much worse. I've come across a couple cute soft core actors, but then there was that whole thing about me not bein able to see how big their dicks were, or even if they were even sticking it in. I hated that shit about soft core but w/e...But mostly, the actors are pretty ugly. The main focus is on the women, which I like, but shit. Aside from Brian Pumper's ass I can't think of any cute actors:/
Then here's my weirdo ass problem. When The camera pans behind the actor fucking the chick, I'm WAAAAY too interested in his ass area. And not in an "Oh, that turns me on" way, but more of a "What the fuck is going on down there" way. First off it always looks like they're pinching in a fart the entire time. Loosen up a bit! No one is coming for your booty hole on this set. Then The gooch area bothers me to no end. The anatomy just won't register in my head. Like I'm well aware dudes don't have vaginas for obvious reasons but looking at the strip between their balls and ass...then looking down at what I've got...My mind = just BLOWN. I might sound like an idiot but I don't care right now I have questions lol. Then I wonder how clean their booty holes are because I've HEARD some men like having that area pressed down with a knuckle...I just can't see myself blindly tryna finger it, I might miss...or see something I shouldn't see nor even want to see and the mood is killed. Idk...Then sometimes they have a very interesting hair pattern on their legs, like little afro beady beads...distracting. I like hairless apes, but that's just me.Then I notice when They stand and thrust I swear it's like one of their balls disappears. Cause I only see one mackin' and hangin' whackin ol girl in the ass. Does their body like suck up the other teste? Or am I just trippin? But I could've sworn he started with two...Whatever. I also think there is way too much oral going on but then again I guess that's not for me anyways. Blow him once in the beginning and once in the end please.
The money shot is good in my book EXCEPT when he finishes in her ass and the camera just waits for her butt to push it out. That shit just makes me want to throw up and die.
Lastly I have a question about ebony porn (I hate that they call it that. You can tell who watches a lot of porn when they say shit like "She's such a pretty ebony girl." Who the fuck says that shit lol) Okay I Don't watch too many scenes if the chick has a purple vag (just a preference don't shoot me gad damnit) and NO black girls aren't the only ones with em. Mine isn't purple at all it's still kinda pinkish, while my baby mama is Mexican an Filipino an hers is suuuuper purple. Don't ask me how I know and don't tell her I told you lol. BUT it does eliminate a lot of them. And the ones I do watch the girls are always ratchet ass fuck with weird ass bodies. They're either built like a 12 year old boy or one big mac away from being obese calling herself thick. Girl if you don't take your big ass to BBW...It's like they just randomly started pulling bitches off the street. I have some faves tho...

I love love love Lacey Duvall...even if she went and got what appears to be ass shots on me:/ All I'm gonna say is when she did that scene with Pinky a while back in the blue fishnet getup she was pretty small...then I saw her do a scene with this dude where she was wearing purple fishnet thingies and her ass just looked...off...and not in a oh I just gained some weight and it just happened to go to my ass type way either. But that's all Ima say about that...She has an AMAZING rack...I'm low key jealous of it. I wonder if she went and had a revision tho cause they looked kinds bigger in that same video and we all know she has augmented breasts anyways...Her face is also easy on the yes she doesn't have that ratchet look to her whatsoever.

We got Jemini too. I first saw her in a threesome scene with Roxy Reynolds and some dude...She's also easy on the eyes. Ehh I like Roxy but I don't go looking for scenes with her specifically in it...The first scene I saw her in she was screaming bloody murder and it turned me the fuck off I had to mute that shit.

I also like Jada Fire...too bad she retired this year:/














GIRL GIRL PORN
Probably will always be my fave. It's just something I've never engaged in myself so it's exciting to watch. UNLESS it's just them eating each other out. It gets boring reaaaaaal quick like can you bitches do anything else?! I can only watch you spit on her cooch and finger her so many times before I get mad. I like skinny chicks with big ass tittays. small waists, and somewhat of an ass. You don't have to be able to suffocate your partner if you sit on their face tho, just a little something....But yeah there's gotta be some scissoring or some toys involved. If there's none of that what the fuck am I watching for? I'm tryna live out a fantasy here and oral sex and fingering are NOT included in that fantasy. I have no interest whatsoever in going down on another girl, never look a gift horse in the asshole. And I can get a dude to finger and eat me out so...it's gotta be something a man isn't capable of. Except when it comes to straps. If I found me a bad ass chick I'd let her strap me down. Especially if she had nice boobs. While Pinky is def a lil bigger than I like em her and Sasha Grey gets down on the straps I'd both let them give it to me...but enough about me lol
I know what I like and I really don't have too many complaints about GG porn. Except when a pretty girl has a bush:( insta buzz kill.

I also had a question about the consistency of semen...I've seen it shoot onto a girl's face and land like silly putty or a squishy booger and it just looks nasty. I can just imagine a guy cumming in my mouth and it's sticking to my gums or the roof of my mouth AFTER I swallow. I like mine kinda runny as gross as it may sound. I only swallow with what's his face and his is kinda runny. I just notice it goes down better...but that could be because I like his sex so much that I just do it as a courtesy. But there are some guys that just make me instantly gag as soon as it hits my mouth. Sorry if you think the faces I make or the fact I immediately spit that shit out hurts your feelings but oh well...it also makes clean up easier. If I can feel it running down wherever I can clean it up instead of putting my pants on and feeling it all slimy across my ass and jeans. Or worse, have to tell my mom it's just dried drool when I miss a spot on my face. Or even worse than that having it in MY HAIR. I will cut your balls off if you nut in my hair.Go anywhere else but my eyes and hair.

Anyways...it's getting late and I'm sexually frustrated. I'm probably going to watch some porn and handle business and pretend that it helps. When all I really want is for him to stop acting like such a douche bag asshole and just be able to have fun sex again. Because I can't find anyone else who does it like him. Believe me I've tried ad I'm getting more and more discouraged with all these failed missions...

The CraigsList blog is taking a little longer than expected. I finished my part but Curly Fries is determined to get a real girl to respond to him, so we'll see what happens lol

Sexsomniac ruined out little measley ass once a month bang session. I'm sad. I think he got back with his ex but I don't want to feel like a hussy and ask him to fork over some peen, He has my number and if he wants it he has it. But damnit...

Miss Sixxxty, your lonely ass sexually frustrated freak of the industryy

Hump Day Festivities

I don't even know where to begin with my night with the Sexsomniac. So I've counted all the times we've had sex and we literally have sex once a month. As in once in November, once in December, ect. Just as I thought he was about to ruin our pattern he calls me up the other night (drunk, as usual) asking me if I want to have sex. Duh. So I get dressed, pop a couple vics, and drive off. When I get there he's playing bp with his coworkers, two who happen to be the big belly dude who tried to spoon me and that random Mexican who wanted me to breast feed him lol. I'm just thinking...umm...and I going to be getting some peen..? Or...because idk if he knows what gas prices are like right now but I just can't be driving across town all willy nilly. He tells me they're waiting on strippers to arrive and I'm like "But I'm right here wtf?" But I chilled, I had never had strippers come to me before it was going to be interesting to see how it all went down.
As I waited for the strippers to get there, enjoying my high the big belly dude comes up to me and tells me he doesn't like white girls, and he only really likes Mexican and black chicks. No surprise there. He goes on about being the star on his football team (whatever position big bellied dudes played) and how only white chicks would throw themselves on him. Um. Okay. Then he tells me how he wouldn't come to my club because he doesn't wanna see me LIKE THAT, all naked and whatnot. Because we're friends he couldn't do it. And I say "YES. I AGREE!!! YOU DON'T EVER NEED TO SEE ME LIKE THAT. As long as we're on the same page here buddy...". The strippers arrived with their driver and they were pretty average. So the Sexsomniac just straight up says "These bitches are ugly" I was just embarrassed for him and them. They get dressed downstairs while everyone is going on and on about how ugly they are and how they should've just paid me (Yeah you SHOULD'VE) but I wasn't gonna knock their hustle. It must suck having to get called in to work at like 2-3 in the morning...So the girls come upstairs and one is barefoot in torn fishnets the other is wearing toms with a bad wig. They're both built like rectangles, with no shapes whatsoever. They start doing their lap dances which is basically a slow grind in their laps, turn around and do the most awkward dry hump ever, and shake what little ass they have. Lather, rinse, repeat. The Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap (the big belly dude clearly needs a nickname now) and I all go out on the balcony after about 10 minutes of fuckery and The Sexsomniac is still going on about how ugly these bitches are and how did they waste 400 bucks on them. I tell him he should let me dance for him instead. I give him a lap dance on the balcony and at the end I bounce my ass and make it clap in his lap and it was a done deal. Mr. Dunlap asks where's his dance and between FRIENDS I give him a little dance, I don't dance long enough to get him hard and I hop off. I peek in the window to see the girls doing the same shit, except this time they're topless. I go inside and Mr. Dunlap tells one of the dudes to come on the balcony and get a dance from me. I tell him give me 20 bucks and I'll go inside and dance and show the other strippers up. The Mexican Breast Feeder is just watching in awe as I give his boss a better dance than he's getting and the girls start talking about my piercings and my boobs and how I put her A cups to shame (boy do I remember those days...) After coming up on 40 bucks I go towards the balcony and The Sexsomniac asks me to put my boobs on the glass before I come outside. Squish, squish. I go outside and I'm like dude...I'm ready NOW let's go inside already! He tells me we can't until everyone leaves so I'm just like fuck man...He suggests we just do it on the balcony. I just stand in front of him and he pulls my shorts down while I try and secretly fish a condom out my hoodie. We don't get very far before someone comes outside to pee off the balcony. Every time we try to get something started someone comes outside! I tried going down on him while he kept watch and of course someone was coming so I stood up fast while his pants were unbuttoned looking extremely guilty but wtf ever. People needed to leave lol. The Mexican Breast Feeder comes outside knowing exactly what was going on and he asks me how much would it be to fuck one of the strippers in there. I tell him I had no idea, he should probably ask her and not me. This is also not the first time he's mentioned paying for sex so you sir, get the side eye. Then he asks how much would it be to get something going between me, him and the Sexsomniac and I'm just like wait what?! He comes up behind me telling me that he almost got me last time (Lies) and how we were already out here and the nut job tried to bend me over! I was like time to gooo...Then Mr. Dunlap comes outside and says the strippers are leaving. The Sexsomniac says "Cool, now we can go inside" and Mr. Dunlap says "Let's" *record stops* sir WHAT? Who is included in that "Let's" cause that's a plural you shouldn't be included in!

Mr. Dunlap: *hands on my hips* can I ask you something?
Me: What's up?
Mr. Dunlap: ...One time
Me: Oh nooooo...we're FRIEND'S remember? You don't wanna see me like that!
Mr. Dunlap: I know but I'm saying just this once...
Me: Nope. Noooope. You're really blowing my high right now...

I can't. Not with any of them that night they were all doing waaaay too much. After everyone is cleared out we try to go inside but then The Sexsomniac remembers he left his keys in Mr. Dunlap's car and he had just left. So we might have to have sex in either the spare room or my car. I did NOT drive this fucking far to have sex in my car or on a cement floor. After about 10 minutes he finds the keys in his pocket -_________- . We go inside, turn the tv on and get down to business. I start on top, cow girl to reverse, and I was so high and he was so drunk I couldn't tell if we we're having sex or watching tv lol. I hopped off and started giving him head, gags and all. Idk what it is about the sound of gagging that makes dudes go crazy. It sounds nasty as fuck (to me, at least). And I noticed he was getting whiskey dick no matter how many positions we got into. I even went against my own beliefs and semi licked his unshaven balls to help him. I was willing to do just about anything to make him bust. Found a nice lil bald patch (why am I laughing while I type this lol) and did a little quick flick, lick suck on it but it didn't help. I knew it just wasn't in the cards for him that night so I stopped and asked him if he was tired, because I was, but I would keep going if he wanted...Thankfully he tapped out and we just went to sleep. We spooned naked and just drifted off to sleep and everything was all good til he fell into that DEEP sleep. He is the wildest sleeper EVER. Any sleeping position you can imagine he was in it at some point, stealing covers and all. And then I knew his sexsomnia was no joke because at points during the morning he would be moaning for no reason, and I even caught him jerking it in a dead sleep. Finally around noon I told myself it was time to get my lazy ass up and get dressed and go home. So he got up, gave me my clothes and I gave him a hug and left.

What an eventful Wednesday night.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy

I Just Gave...

...the longest blow job of my life. I was just feelin' generous one night so I called this guy up (no nickname as of yet). He's just fun to fuck around with, albeit if he isn't always available (booooooo). He told me he only had 20 minutes to spare and I'm thinkin' "too easy" so he slides the seat back and I go to town. 24 minutes later I'm like "Don't you need to go?" and he tells me to just keep going. It's like every time he would tell me "Just like that...keep it just like thaaaast" my jaw would start aching. Switching between licking and sucking just got too damn tiring at one point I was thinkin I know it's past his bedtime. I told him I was gonna try to go for a record and he decided to take that as a personal challenge to see how long he could keep from busting. I was bent in so many odd positions trying to get in a comfortable oral giving position that I woke up the next day feeling like I had gotten violated by a horse when I didn't even have sex. After an hour he finally came. Better late than never I say!
SEXSOMNIAC MAKES HIS TRIUMPHANT RETURN
We hadn't been seeing much of each other lately because we have been off doing our own things. One morning at like 4:30 a.m. I get a phone call from him. Half asleep I answer the phone and he screams "THIS IS A BOOTY CALL. WAKE UPPPPP. REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WENT TO THE CASINO AND I LOST 200 BUCKS? I DIDN'T EVEN REALLY WANNA HAVE SEX THAT NIGHT BUT I STILL ASKED ANYWAYS. REMEMBER WHEN YOU RAPED ME?? YEAH, YOU OWE ME. SO BRING THAT ASS." Anything else sir? After a little back and forth I made my way over to east jesus nowhere (with the promise of going straight to sleep right after). This was before gas prices started fucking us in the ass again. I get there and the big dude that tried spooning with me the first time we had sex was there and so was that stupid ass cunt that tried molesting me when he thought I was passed out. We just sat around talking for a minute and then we decided to head off to bed.
We're layin in bed making small talk and somehow he pushed me out the bed! Then he elbowed me and I wasn't sure if this was a form of foreplay or if he was just being a drunken idiot.
Me: Keep it up and I'm gonna kick your ass.
Sexsomniac: No you won't...because you love me like a brother.
Me: ..............please don't say that before we have sex. It's kinda creepy...
Sexsomniac: Okay well you love me like a good friend.
Much better...I roll over and start kissing him and he starts pulling at my sweats. The thing I like about having sex with him is he likes kissing. Kissing before sex is very underrated. And on the contrary, just because you kiss me during sex doesn't mean I'm going to all of a sudden catch feelings for you. It's just one of those things I like during sex. Now, kissing and there isn't and sex involved is another story (unless I'm drunk...but I can't remember JUST drunkenly making out with someone...). Anyways, we get undressed, he grabbed on my fanny, pulled out the jammie, and killed the punani (kinda) *in my Ice Cube voice*
SIDEBAR: Punani and fanny are one of those words I hate
I started out on top, riding him a little bit...but it's been so long since I've been on top IN A BED that the mattress wasn't firm enough and I couldn't get into a groove. Car sex will do that to you. I got off and we started spooning. It's so weird, cause his dick isn't the biggest (it ain't the smallest either) but he can still hit certain spots. Every time he thrusted I'd bend over a lil more until I folded like a lawn chair. I got bored after a while so I pushed him back and told him to get on his knees. I bent down in front of him and started throwin' it back at him. And I don't mean where I'm on all fours rocking my entire body into him. Dancing at the strip club has taught me to work my hips and ass in ways I didn't know capable. I was pitching a lot of ass and he was catching just as good. Felt great EXCEPT the way my ass was going back and forth reminded me of a jello mold on a plate I felt like my ass was about to slide the fuck off my body. I hate that feeling but when I looked back at him the look on his face said he was enjoying the fuck outta that shit, so I continued. He took over after a while and I just stuffed my head under a pillow to muffle myself, but you could still hear *clap, clap, clap, clap*. I heard the two dudes down the hall laughing and I couldn't figure out if they could hear us or if they were laughing about something else. But that wasn't gonna stop me from getting my issue handled, no ma'am. He's really the only guy who's ever gotten close to making me feel the way Happenis did but it is obviously not the same AT ALL...that man needs to hurry up and bring his ass BACK.
He finally busts, and as we're cleaning up and getting dressed we're having a convo like we didn't just have sex. We go rejoin the boys, play a quick game of beer pong and I decide I'd rather go to sleep in my own bed. As I get ready to leave he asks me where I'm going and I say I'm going home.
Sexsomniac: REAL! So you're just gonna leave huh...hit it and quit it? I feel so used...
Well damn, my bad homie. And all this time I had been thinking dudes actually WANTED me to leave after sex. Smh. lol
SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO ADDRESS
Don't text me asking if I want the dick and when I say yes say "That's nice". You woke me up out my sleep, made me horny and shut me down in a matter of 5 minutes. I hate your life. Don't text me again.
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING...
The Rain Check man still ain't tryna let a bish be great and cash that shit in...we see each other here and there and we're friendly so I don't know what the deal is.
Sex. When it's good it's great. When it's bad it's still pretty good.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Keep It 100

Hola, hola...up at my tweaker crackhead hours again because this stupid issue (not sex) is bothering me...what better way than to blog it. The phrase of the day is "Keep it 100" because apparently people are having a hard time grasping the concept.
So there's this guy (always the beginning of a juicy story), might've blogged about him a couple months ago about taking time off work to go see him out of town just for him to bail on me at the last minute? If I did, lemme refresh your memory and if I didn't lemme fill you in:

Basically had been going to school with this guy since forever, after high school went our separate ways. Might've crushed on him on an off thru high school but nothing too serious. Broke up with his long term girlfriend and we hung out shortly after that. He came home on spring break talking all kinda shit, we made out, then after that he stopped taking my calls/texts. Get on fb an see he got back with his gf. Okaaay...couple months later same shit happens but this time he wants me to visit him. We pick a weekend, I take time off work (which I hated because I honestly hate taking time off work) and the week I was supposed to go he stops taking my calls/texts. The day before he tells me he's "sick". I tell him that's fine I'll be his nurse and feed him chicken noodle soup in bed all flirty like and he still tells me I shouldn't go. At this point I'm pissed because I'm stuck in town and I'm not working when I could be. He gets a new gf and deletes me on fb. Couple months later he hits me up out of nowhere and I should be used to his game by now but my dumb ass still plays into it. Tonight I just got fed up with his ass.

It's like we'll have these long ass convos nshit and I think everything is going good then he pulls the stupid fall off the face of the earth card and I'm sitting here like damnit what NOW?? His texts started coming far and few in between, and I could feel the cycle repeating itself. I have this rule, where if I send 3 texts on 3 different occasions and you don't respond or don't engage I delete your number and play the waiting game. I either forget about you, or you come around. Win/win situation. And that's what I did. But I decided to do something different this time, and just flat out ask him what the fuck his problem was. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and I am clearly a damn fool. I was starting to feel that there was another girl in the picture and I was once again getting pushed off to the side as I had before. At first he wanted to play stupid, then I told him if his heart or his dick or whatever was in a different place than between us then that was fine with me. I just needed to know SOMETHING because this stupid little merry go round was getting stupid. He tried telling me he didn't know what I was talking about, and I debated on bringing up each instance we started talking and how they all ended and decided against it. He chalked it up to being busy and he can't always talk and blah blah blah cause clearly I look like boo boo the fool. I'm a woman I can sense shit like that. After doing a bunch of pointless going back and forth I just gave up and waived that white flag. I didn't wanna argue anymore because it was going NOWHERE...and once I stopped responding he started sending those obnoxious "???" texts...like THAT'S going to invoke a response from me...

Moral of the story: whether we're TALKING talking in terms of a relationship or hell even just casually fucking around it's obviously best to keep it 100 with each other. If you start not to feel the situation anymore, speak up. If you meet someone else and it gets serious, speak up. Hell, if it's anything that's gonna prevent the progress of the "relationship" between you two SPEAK UP. Nobody wants to be strung along as much as nobody wants to be stuck in a situation they don't wanna be in. I know if I don't like a dude or don't wanna fuck with him, I will let him know. (We know thissss...I may not be the nicest about it after a while but you can't say it doesn't get the job done). I just ask for the same in return. I always tell Happenis if he ever gets bored with our situation just to tell me he doesn't wanna fuck anymore, rather than falling off the face of the earth and keeping me guessing about our situation. I'd rather have a definite "it's a done datta" than a "kinda maybe sorta" situation. That way I know if we're still on texting terms or whatever and I don't have to wonder about how you feel about me or our situation...You know I just hate feeling like a damn bug to something that ain't even there anymore...I mean I always tell people they don't have to lie at all, they can tell me how they feel whether they think it'll hurt my feelings or not. I'm a big girl! I can handle it!

SIDE BARI've noticed I've been done dirty by dudes I haven't even done anything major sexually with more than dudes I've slept with. One guy I talked to, we'd have these "movie nights" where I'd just go to his pad, watch movies and knock out. Never even kissed him. I'm thinking everything is going peachy and about a week after one of our movie nights I ask him what the next movie is gonna be and he tells me he has a girlfriend. Um...can you say blindsided?! Here I am, thinking we might be on track for a relationship, thinking I did everything right by keeping my legs closed, and he wasn't even checking for me! Damn near a year later he came back around but that ship had long sailed. Sucks for him!

Mmm...idk...just one less dude to worry about...frees up more space in my phone for more important things...like updating Angry Birds. I'm a grown ass woman and don't have time for games. If you wanna fuck and I wanna fuck then yay! Let's get something worked out. Cut all the bullshit. But like I said it's a concept people can't grasp these days i.e. this idiot...

As far as Happenis goes...we all know I cracked and fucked him a few weeks back when he was in town...what can I say he's just too good at what he does...Can't pass it up (especially when I'm not getting it anyways).

The Rain Check Guy (that's the best I could do)...well, when I know something, you'll know something.

My visits with the Sexsomniac are becoming far and few in between...which kinda sucks cause I liked his convenience...but we haven't been kicking it lately. Just doing our own things...hmm NBD.

Cheers to the fucking weekend,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Big Money, Big Money!!!

So TECHNICALLY I'm not being  trifling when I don't ever know when Happenis and I are officially OFF...I mean I gotta get the dick from somewhere...So I've kept the Sexsomniac on the back burner you know, just in case...
But he had been acting reeeeal funny lately...he would invite me to kick it, and me thinking I'm guaranteed some dick that night when I would get there I'd see his ex gf there. The fuck?! Sir why are you bringing sand to the beach?? I don't have a problem with him or any other dude fucking other bitches, but don't make me get out my bed to come hang out when I wasn't tryna "hang" in the first place. So I stopped texting him and one night he told me to come hang out cause the ex wouldn't be there...and SOMEHOW I ended up with him sucking on one of my boobs and some other little Mexican boy on my other one (I didn't even know his name!) Then I was making out with the Sexsomniac while the other Mexican boy tried sticking his hand in my pants. Um. Not tonight sir...
Anyways after that night I eased up on texting him because I didn't want him thinking I was catching feelings when I wasn't. One night he hits me up and asks me if I wanted to go to the casino. I say sure why not, I've never been. We make some drinks before we go and I smuggle mine in my purse. We hit up the blackjack table and it only takes me losing 35 bucks for me to quit but he kept going. Oh, did I mention his mom was there and my tits were out? Yeah...that was my first time meeting her...
Anyways they gambled for FUCKING HOURS before we finally left. I was already drunk because I smashed on my drink in the bathroom and I was trying to keep it together lol. We're driving back to town just talking and all I'm thinking about is how much I wanna fuck. We pull up to his house and he's like "Do you wanna have sex?" Why yes, yes I DO. We hop in the back seat and I start straddling him. Having sex with him is fun because he likes making out. We did that for a bit, stroked him til he got hard, and I hopped on. Generally I do all the riding and he just sits there and sucks on my nips (he actually knows how to do it right) until I feel like switching. For someone with an average peen he still manages to stroke the gspot when he's behind me, which makes me wonder why the fuck that stupid ass Conejo couldn't do shit!!! Our back seat action sexcapades may not be as crazy as those with Happenis but I still get mine and enjoy it nonetheless. We both finish and contemplate getting breakfast, but its like 5 in the morning and I kinda just wanna sleep. If I have one complaint about the Sexsomniac its just that he second guesses himself so much it irks me. He's always like "Sorry for that bad sex" and I'm just like wtf are you talking about? I always tell him if it was bad I wouldn't be going back. Maybe he just likes getting his ego stroked...idk...
I would love to fuck him as much as I Possibly could but he is one of those dudes who can't fuck worth a damn unless they're drunk as fuck. I've heard of whiskey dick, but liquid viagra? C'mon son...what do I have to do, fuck an alcoholic to get some steady dick on the regular?? BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Let's Start 2012 Off With A Bang, Shall We?

You see babes an gents THIS is why GiGi is so fucking picky. If I step out on Happenis even for a moment 9 times outta 10 it is going to be absolutely horrid. Idk what kinda weirdo voodoo hex he has placed over me but I wish it would come off me! God I don't even know where to begin...

I've seen a little bit of Happenis (I know, I know, much to the people's dismay, but that's a whole 'nother blog for a whole 'nother day), a little bit of the Sexsommiac (once again, I know, triflin' as SHIT) and recently I added some new meat to the mix. Let's call him...fuck I don't even know...Conejo (aka rabbit in spanish. It fits). I had been hard pressed for the peen lately because it seemed as if no one was tryna put out when I needed them to! And one day I was perusing my fb and saw this dude I used to work with and thought hmm...what if...I read his bio which actually had an ounce of intelligence in it (caught my ass off guard) and somewhere he may have mentioned that he wasn't a one minute man but I swear that had nothing to do with my decision! Anyways, I posted something on his wall, we had some small talk, and when he messaged me with his number I knew it was going down. So I hit him up, and I noticed he still used a signature on his texts. If this wasn't a red flag then I don't know what is. But I ignored it and we made plans to meet up later. I didn't know where he lived (not from his town) so I used my GPS and I'm telling you the closer I got the more I hoped my navigation was wrong! I turned on his street and I knew I was in the fucking ghetto. Everyone had dirt lawns, the "fences" were made out of that chicken wire shit, I mean his whole house was probably as big as my living room and dining room put together and I by no means at all live in a mansion! There were no sidewalks...just dirt and street...but I told myself not to judge a book by its cover. When he said he got his own place finally I was thinking like an apartment! But whatever I pull up and he tells me his friends are gonna go play beer pong somewhere and if I wanted to go. I told him it was "up to him", that I wasn't trippin. He decides we should go. We pull up to the house and when I walk in theres a mattress in the living room with someone sleep on it and two yappy ass little mutts who keep jumping on me. The beer pong "table" was non-existent; it was maybe like a sq. yard. They weren't even playing beer pong it was just some dirty plates and bills on the table! The girl sitting there is like "hey you wanna go to my house and have a bonfire?" and he looks at me. I tell him "ITS. UP. TO. YOU". He decides we should go. We get there and his two friends get out the car and I try to follow and he says wait. I'm like what?? And he starts kissing me. Fine enough til he takes my entire fucking mouth into his (Sound familiar?) and starts licking all over it. Yuck...he finally stops and goes from nibbling on my bottom lip to hoover vacuuming it off! I'm trying to lead and not let him have my bottom lip but the shit aint working. He stops kissing me to pull my boobs out and start sucking on em. I swear it felt like I was breast feeding a toddler with all their teeth. The amount of suction this man uses I was pretty sure he was going to suck my piercings clear the fuck out my nips. I tried to ease him off and he pushes me down and starts sucking on my neck hella hard. It felt good but I was NOT trying to have any hickies, so I told him be gentle. He wasn't listening yet again. Then he gets up on his knees and it looks like he's ready to whip it out "Oh hey whoa whoa whoa...I'm not having sex with you in a car." Everyone else is already at the bonfire I'm just tryna join. If his ass wanted to have sex already he should have just had them take us back to his spot! This cocky bastard thinks he can change my mind my licking and kissing on my stomach getting ready to go down on me and I'm like no I'm serious I'm not fucking you back here. We finally get out the car and I feel my lip. My lip was fucking swollen! That's how hard that man was sucking on it. It seriously looked like he popped me in the mouth. Anyways we get out just for his friends to get in and I swear it seemed like they had sex for forever and a day. It was cold outside, I was irritated, I just wanted to go home it was like 4 in the morning...finally they finished and we went back to his house. As if this night couldn't have gotten any fucking worse.

He asked if I wanted to come inside and I said yeah...how I wish I would've said no!!! His living room consisted of a fridge...and a big screen tv. The kitchen? A microwave and a HAMMOCK. The bedroom? A fucking pot farm. Mind you this was the warmest part of the house. SO I'm standing in the "kitchen" and he hops into the hammock (I can't even type this with a straight face) and he's like "c'mere". Sir. You are out of your FUCKING mind if you think I'm about wedge myself in that tiny as hammock with you. We went back and forth for about 5 minutes and then I noticed he wasn't wearing pants anymore! Are you fucking serious you were tryna get it in IN THE FUCKING HAMMOCK?!?!?!?! I go into the "bedroom and he follows me in wearing nothing but a long sleeve tee and some ankle socks..............................
He closes the door and starts with the hard kissing again and I could feel his dick poking me. I push him away to get a look at it. Very nice I must say. Not only was it long but that shit was soda can girthy. And cut!!! Yaaaay...for now at least...He picks me up and then lays me on the ground and pokes me with it. "Um...where's your condom?" and he just stares at me. Sir I'm being completely serious if you can't tell...SO he runs away an grabs one now let the sexing commence! At first I was on my back with my legs on his shoulders and I'm not gonna lie I ran like SHIT at first. Just um. A LOT. To take in...But that's where the joy ended. We switched positions and I was on all fours...and this man fucked me like a rabbit. He wasn't even going all the way in. I couldn't feel shit but his balls wacking me (This is just the nastiest feeling in life to me). I layed down on my stomach and he layed on top of me all in my ear talking about "This is mine, this pussy is mine" Sir.......................................just stop talking please. You couldn't even rent to own this shit. Thank you. It only got good when he went down on me, probably the only silver lining to this night, I got to ride his face and he ate it from the back, which was all I really wanted anyways. He asked me to "suck it", and I obliged just cause he went down on me so many times before. But I didn't like him or the sex so I really just half assed the shit. He kept putting his hands on my head (My biggest fucking pet peeve when I'm sucking dick. Let me do my damn job I don't need any type of encouragement from you!) and kept tryna ram his dick down my throat so much to the point I just pulled it out and told him I would bite his shit off the next time he did it. I had bits of marijuana leaves stuck to me, I was tired and annoyed so I tried to fake stomach cramps and dip. I quit I couldn't fake enjoying this shit any longer. When I start wondering when the fuck you're gonna nut I know it's time to tap out and strike it up as a loss. He looked a lil sad/pissed off but wtf ever. I got dressed and when I tried to grab my car key I didn't have it. I started frantically looking like a madwoman and came to the sad realization that when the man mauled me in the backseat it had to have slipped out my pocket and was in his friend's car in the next own over, 20 minutes away. I hopped right on the phone with my roadside assistance just for those bitches to tell me they can't send a locksmith because of my stupid ass chipped key ad the best they could do was tow me to a dealer where they wanted to charge me 200 bucks for a new fucking key. The whole time this bitch is apologizing (for me losing my key, not that wack ass sex >_
Needless to say I'm gonna pretend this night never happened.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Sexsomnia.

Sexsomnia: n. Sexsomnia causes people to engage in sexual acts while they are asleep, such as masturbation, fondling, sexual intercourse

This shit is real. I have experienced it myself, but mine only amounted to touching myself in my sleep. But I met someone who actually suffers from this shit full on. Story timeeeeee.

So we obviously knew that Happenis (I gave him his name back, if you're curious as to why peep the tumblr) was gone for quite some time, and in the meantime I had to find something to keep myself occupied. Well, pills weren't all that healthy, so I turned my attention to drinking. Nothing too bad, just socially drinking with my friends at various bars and whatnot. Anyways I've been spending a lot of time with this one guy, we shall call him the Sexsomniac.

(I feel the need to share I'm listening to a Drake/The Weeknd/Lil' Wayne/J. Cole playlist mashup. Dk why just thought I'd share...)

We both have no lives and I've made it my mission to get him out the house to do fun stuff with me so we aren't bored. Well one night I took my baby mama out for her birthday where we met the Sexsomniac at a local bar. Long story short hat bitch (I love her still) ditched me for some birthday dick! The bar was about to close and I wasn't ready to go home so we left a little early, hit up a liquor store (cause they close those bitches at 2 am in Cali) and sat in my car at the Denny's on our local hoe stroll while we figured out what we were gonna do. I bought a Mike's HardER Fruit Punch and let me tell you that shit was BEYOND disgusting. Tasted like a Four Loko and cough syrup. I don't know how I managed to stomach that shit. We met up with one of his friends to go play beer pong and that was pretty chill...just a few people hanging out. Anywhoo, I'm forcing myself to drink it because I wasn't driving and I at least wanted to get a good buzz going. Well, finally mission accomplished. I didn't feel comfortable driving so I crashed at his friend's house. We both fell asleep on opposite ends of the couch watching a movie. Somewhere in my slumber I feel a hand touching my leg. Slowly rubbing my leg I feel this hand slide up my thigh and he brushes his fingers across my ass. Then it feels like he was trying to touch Miss GiGi thru my pants. I kinda stick my head up to look at him and he looked dead ass sleep. Other arm hanging off the couch, face hanging off the couch, labored breathing. I thought I'd at least see some sign of consciousness to prove to me he was fully aware of what he was doing. I watched him for a bit while he did it to see if he'd take a peek at me and see how I was receiving being molested in my sleep, maybe a smirk. I got nothing. So I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. After I while I felt him move, he got up to use the bathroom, came back to the couch and went to sleep. Was it wrong that I was a little mad he stopped touching me?! In my head I was like why did you stop:( When it was time to go, we got p and I dropped him off at his house and then I went home. We didn't talk about it until later when he texted me and told me he was having this dream about myself him and another chick and I guess we were about to have a threesome in the bathroom. He woke up before we did anything and he found himself touching me. He was like "I woke up super horny and rubbing you lol so I went to the bathroom and went back to sleep." I told him not to sweat it, and if it bothered me I woulda punched him in the face. He was like alright cool and we left it at that.

The next night I went to work and didn't really wanna go the next day so I came back home early. I hit him up to see what he was doing, and he was out and about. I met up with him so I could do a little drinking. A LITTLE......My ass got HAMMERED. I remember drinking two big ass red cups of jungle juice straight to the head and whatever was in it snuck the fuck up on me. One minute I was playing beer pong the next the room was spinning. The guys there liked my boobs A LOT. I don't even remember how they knew I had them done but I remember someone asking when I got them done or some shit and I was like "hOW DO you KNOW theyRE FKAE??" (my attempt at typing how I sounded when I was drunk). Then I layed down on a row of chairs and don't remember shit til I got up to puke.
In their kitchen sink.
All over their dishes.
And sponge.
I could hear someone in the background saying "Dude noooooo not in the sink!!" and someone else said "dude this is where she went she wasn't gonna make it to the bathroom!" I told the Sexsomniac I couldn't drive where the hell was I gonna go..HE told me to his friend's house with him. So he drove my car and I rode with the friend. Puked in the driveway. Once in the car I told the friend I wanted french fries. Went to Jack in the Crack and I threw up in the drive thru.

"Sir, can you please pull forward...

We get back to the friend's house and we crash in his room. Said friend was nice enough to give me and the Sexsommiac his bed and he took the floor. When he left the room to go get a blanket the drunk me thought it would be a good idea to take my pants off. Although I was wearing this tiny ass G-String my shirt was pretty long and covered my ass. The Sexsomniac and I got under the covers and I was once again in and out of consciousness. Sure enough I felt his hands sliding under my shirt, this time he had access to my bare ass. I was drunk and dick deprived so I didn't stop it. I looked at him again and he still looked dead ass sleep. As soon as he slid his fingers under the G-String idk what the fuck happened. In like two seconds he pulled his pants down and whipped his dick out, I had pulled the G-String down and was reaching behind me to help him find his way...and no it wasn't all THAT big, it was average, but nothing that I'd laugh at or anything...We're just spooning and fucking and I'm trying to be quiet cause of ol' boy on the ground but he wasn't even really sleeping to begin with. He's grabbing onto my hips and thrusting away, and the bed is faintly squeaking. Normally this would bug me but I was drunk so I was like fuck it. I kinda grabbed his head while we were in the spooning position so he could hear whatever little sounds escaped my mouth. I'd look at him and his eyes would be closed, he wasn't even watching what was going on! He was just in dreamland. Now. This is where I hang my head in shame. I was so shameless that night with no concept of what I was doing because I pushed him away and hopped ON TOP to ride him!! *face palm* Got off, went back to spooning and this time my back wasn't against him we looked kinda like a 'K'. I could see ol' boy fidgeting on the ground I knew his ass wasn't sleep. And I don't know if it was the alcohol or what but the Sexsomniac low key had a nice stroke game. Then I felt those one two three hard ass thrusts and knew he was finished. We rolled over and he pulled his pants up and rolled back over, I had to dig under the covers to find the panties that I had COMPLETELY removed...rolled over and looked at ol' boy and told him "I like tech n9ne:)" and he goes "me too"...right before he tells me to scoot over. So now I'm in bed with the Sexsomniac and his obese friend who tried spooning with me on several occasions that night, which was gross cause I still had no pants on. So I took my blanket and made my ass a pallet on the ground. The next morning I woke up really hungover, wondering where the fuck he busted at...I mean you just fucked in your friend's bed it's very inconsiderate to nut in his bed too...
We left ol' boy's house and once again didn't talk about what happened...just talked about my very intoxicated ass.

And we still haven't discussed what happened. I low key don't want to now that Happenis and I are back on good terms...Idk what to do about that shit. Do I tell him? Do I keep it to myself? I'm just like we aren't together, but he seems like the type to get mad if he finds out later...hmm...I don't know. Blah.

...And is it wrong that as soon as we were finished I wanted to do it again? I didn't wanna seem greedy so I didn't wake him back up but gat damn! This was at a time where I thought I had no choice BUT to find a replacement dick. Thank god that's no longer the case.

Well. That's what happened. Lol.

For those asking about homework sexinfo disabled embeddable links soooo...yeah:/ sorry bout that guys.

Happenis came back. It's all good in the hood. That's my main. He doesn't ever go away for long and I gotta accept that lol. Everyone always tells me he'll be back and I never believe them. I don't know why tho cause he always pops back up.

Le Sighh,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy