Let's Talk About Anal.

I couldn't come up with any clever, cutesy name for this blog.
Because that's just it.
Anal isn't cutesy.
It deals with quite possibly the dirtiest part of your body (depending on your hygiene).
But I have come to learn that, done properly, its FAB.
Thought I'd start off with a story about The Big Carl and I.

LIGHTS OUT
This was our second meeting. After only one round I was ADDICTED.
So when he texted me and asked if I would come over, I had to weasel 5 bucks from my mom so I'd have enough gas to get over there lol. (Thank god I found a better paying job)
I arrive @ his townhouse and its eerily quiet.
That's because the PG&E got shut off. (The Big Carl only had sex once with the lights on. For the next 2 months the electricity was off lol)
I walk to his room and this loser is sitting in the dark bathroom and he's like "come here". So he shuts the door and we're in pitch blackness. I can't see shit.
Then he starts rubbing my thighs, comes up behind me, and finds my neck with his lips.
So I lean forward and press my ass into him and he yanks down my pants. I had gotten some sample lubes from this pleasure party a a few days earlier so I handed em over.
He stated "lube is for bitches" and emptied em out on my ass. Then he rubbered up, went inside, and started thrusting away.
At the same time he was giving meaning to the phrase "waxin' that ass". The combo was great. He'd rub an massage it while strokin, the lube was warming under his hands...it was AMAZEBALLS.
Then he slipped out and he tried to find his way in the dark. And he found his way to the back door.
I told you guys, TBC is not a thin man.
So he slowly eased in, and I let out a GASP. The kind that made me throw one leg on the counter top.
I compare the feeling to having my intestines ripped out through my ass.
Idk what even happened after that. Things were already pitch black, and taking him all in was too much.
I wasn't breathing because I was afraid I'd scream out in pain if I did.
Then he started massaging my ass and I relaxed for a bit.
Then things loosened up for a bit and I could actually enjoy it.
So while he was still inside we walked from the Bathroom to the bed and we finished the job there. It was incredible.
SIDE NOTE: I found out later he "claims" he didn't know he was in there until we left the bathroom O_o

So what words of wisdom can I offer you (for those who are willing to try, mind you)?
Well first and foremost TAKE A SHIT!
Thankfully I went to the bathroom before all this stuff went down so I had nothing to worry about. At least during the actual act.

Then you gotta be in a mindset for what you're about to do.
If your dude is a lil on the thin side, lucky you! You have it waaaay easier than a girl with a thick dude. Thin ones are just easier to take (for obvious reasons).

TIP: if your dude is a little on the thick side, you can invest in an anal plug to help stretch you out a bit. Or the free alternative; FINGERS. But remember shit comes out the dirtbox and noone wants their fingers smelling like shit from being in your booty for too long.
Anal feels waaay different from regular sex.
While most girls need some sort of clit stimulation during regular sex, anal has a whole different feeling (a good one). If you're dude is thin(er), or you think you're a sav an can take it all, i advise everyone to try it at least once.

BE PREPARED!!! after you have anal, your ass is gonna be kinda loose. I had to work immediately after this encounter, so even though i tried to walk as normal as possible, everyone knew what I had just been doing.
What accompanies the looseness? The ability to hold your farts in.
Nasty, yes. But true. But your muscles will eventually go back to normal in a few hours (or a few days, depending on how furiously y'all were gettin it in).
But we all know porn stars stick all kinds of crazy things up people's asses, and I don't hear anyone at the AVN Awards complaining that So-and-so can't control her gas. So no worries:)

This all being said, I enjoy anal, but I don't go asking dudes to fuck me in the ass.
If it happens without me passing out it happens lol

So I haven't left you guys with any homework in a while, I hope you're not mad at me:)
REAR ENTRY

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com
Simple, and easy for those easing into anal. Also allows you to bite the pillow and muffle your moans (or screams) :)

Love you lots,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

The Best Of Times...

I've lost count of the days...
And I know I've suffered droughts longer than this (i.e. the godforsaken drought of '09) but for some reason this one seems to be REALLY bad...Lemme look at the calendar.
T.O.N.y. was the beginning of the end...April 17th...so it's been a month exactly.
And oh, what a rough four weeks it has been!
Today at work, my mind began to wander and landed in the Sexual Experiences Memory Bank. I decided to look back on a guy Tee Gillie jokingly named The Big Carl (yes, after the burger, but it had a whooooole nother meaning to me;) )
Those were probably the best two months of my life, but sadly we had a falling out and I did something so hilariously evil that I can't even bring myself to mention it here. Needless, this falling out didn't deter me from fantasizing about him every waking moment (that drought was a sad period in my sex life lol). So lemme tell y'all about that first night.

RANDOM ASS STRANGER
At the beginning of the school year I wore a shirt that said "This Is My Boyfriend" with an arrow pointing to the side. So he walked up to me and said "What are we doing tonight girlfriend?" My first reaction was "WTF are you talking about you crackhead?" but then I realized he was talking about my shirt and we shared a laugh. We pretty much kept this "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" nonsense going throughout the year. In the beginning of February he came up to me and asked if I was coming to his birthday party. I said "Sure what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't show up lol" and then we exchanged numbers and blah blah blah. Then came the day before his birthday...

I DON'T LIKE MY PANTIES!!!
I was chillin at my BFF's house when I got a text from him. I had wished him a happy birthday earlier that day and he asked if I would spend his cake day with him. I was soooo excited but then I remembered I didn't like the panties I was wearing and I hadn't properly landscaped. LMAO I distinctly remember telling my BFF I wasn't gonna sleep with him because "I don't like the panties i have on!!! They're not sexy enough!" So she threw me in the bathroom with a razor and some baby wipes and she told me to get to work (she's such a positive influence on my life). Landscaped and semi-ready, I was still stuck on the idea I wasn't gonna sleep with him.
He just so happened to live close to her so I got to his apts fairly quick. Got in, exchanged hugs, and we go downstairs to his room. He's in there practicing the Ricky Bobby to do @ his party the next night. I'm lookin through his movie collection and I pick out 40-year-old Virgin. "Oh, I've never seen this, can we watch it?" (LIES). He pops it in and I get comfortable on the bed. Then everything went downhill from there lol

LET THE GAMES BEGIN
So we're laying on the bed watching this movie, chatting a little bit. Then he rolls on his stomach and gives me the old "I'm just restin my eyes" excuse. I'm pretending the movie is the funniest thing I've ever seen and he tells me to get off the bed. He puts a blanket down and gets under the covers. Well, shit, maybe my ass ain't tired! So I laid on top of the covers and in one swift motionhe grabs my side of the covers, yanks them and the next thing I know, I'm on top of him! I try the whole "I'm tryna watch the movie, I've never seen it" trick, but then he starts kissing my neck and I completely forgot where I was for a minute...
Mmm, that was some decent neck kissing && sucking...
Then he rolls over and now he's on top, and I can't get away. But at this point, I don't want to...and I can feel he's getting hard through his basketball shorts (PRAISE JESUS FOR THIN BASKETBALL SHORTS!!!) then he stops and sits up and just stares at me.
TBC: "What's next?"
M: "Hmmm...idk...you think you ready for this?"
TBC: "The question is, are YOU ready?"
The answer to that question is a resounding NO!!!
He yanks of my pants, and I doubt if he even noticed what kinda panties I was wearing lol
The clothes come off and I finally got to see what was hiding behind the basketball shorts, and it was as big as I imagined;)
So naturally, I had to put my oral skills to work. Light kisses, then flicks. Flicks lead to licks and licks lead to sucks.

TIP FOR THE BABES: When you're giving head, use your hands in tandem with your mouth. When you bring your mouth up just get a firm grip on it and as you're sliding your hand up and down do a kind of twisting thing with it, as if you were opening a door.

He gets on top and opens the night stand, where I see a box full of magnums (yessssss) and the games began.
Penetration is usually the best, but he was on the thicker side, so it was one of those "sigh on contact" type ones. Started off slow, then sped up the pace. Then he got into the Deep Stick position with my legs on his shoulders which was a mix of pleasure and pain. It hurt cause he would keep hittin my cervix, but I didn't care this was what I asked for:) Then with him still on his knees I laid on my side and he hit the Sideways Scissor. Then I got on all fours and he took a knee (I hope you guys know what I mean). Aaah, I want my ass smacked sooo bad, so I do it myself to show him what I wanted. He took my cue, adn the spankings began. Nice, hard, firm slaps that stung. Oh, and I loved it. Then he pulled my hair so he could get deeper. Having my hair pulled AND my ass smacked? At this point I didn't realize I was moaning super loud, but man, fuck his neighbors, that's how I felt.
Then I laid on my stomach and he entered (no hands) from the back and I learned what pounding was lol. Combine that with some heavy breathing in my ear and the occasional neck suck... lawd have mercy...
Then he was back on top, but with a twist. He laid on top (something about having the weight of a man on top of me turns me the fuck on), slid his hands under my butt, and started grabbing them as he was thrusting. This was different, and I loved it. Then he slid his thumbs into my butt. At first I was startled (how many expect a finger in the booty? Thank god I went before I got there;) ), but that feeling in combination with the deep thrusts felt waaaaay too good. That later became his signature lol. Then my phone goes off.
A very pissed father sent me a text in the middle of my festivities yelling basically.
Carl looked at me and said "You wanna leave? He doesn't sound too happy" So I politely told him "Man fuck him, let's finish, I'm already in trouble..." So we did. I also love when a guy reaches his peak and he low key passes out on me, just lays there for a minute while he catches his breath;)
Aaaaah, that was the beginning of a very fun 2 months.

Well, babes an gents, I think I'm calm again, I had to get that off my chest:)
Sometimes when you're going through a sexual withdraw episode its best to just relive some really good sex. BUT it will never replace the real thing. NEVER.
I want you guys to have happy hump times, so I'm gonna leave you with 2 assignments:


THE VIENNESE OYSTER

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This will maximize penetration, but let's hope he doesn't hit the cervix;)

DEEP IMPACT

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Not to be confused with the Deep Stick.

Questions, comments, feedback AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com

Happy sexin' ;)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy