Hey, Your Mouth Is On My Vag There...

What's up my lovelies. Finals week is here and it feels like summer vacation can't get here soon enough. What that will mean for me (hopefully) is not having to wait until the weekend to accost someone for their peen. In the meantime I guess I should fill you in about stuff.
Sooooooo there's this guy right. And let me just say he gives the most amazing head ever. Half is skill, half is the fact that he really likes the way I taste and I have zero complaints about him. So weird how All this shit even started. We ended up going out one night just as friends until we got drunk. I remember sounding like an idiot saying shit like "OMG I JUST THINK YOU'RE SO CUTE you have a cute face omg it's so cuteee." And he responded back with "Can we make out now?" We did, and then when it was time to leave he asked me if I wanted to smoke with him. Now I was drunk and me + alcohol + weed doesn't mix from past experiences but I said yes anyways. So we're sitting in my car smoking and I can't remember if I told him I couldn't do it drunk or if I was just taking baby hits because then he started to shotgun me (mmmmm). One thing led to another and then he slipped me some tongue. After we stopped kissing I just stared at him before hopping my happy ass in the backseat. It was like habit I was so ashamed lol He looked at me and was like "What are you doin back there?" And I just looked down and said I don't know...then he followed me. We made out a little bit more then he pushed me back and I helped him take my pants off. Thankfully I had stuffed some condoms in the backseat but before I could get to them he spread my legs and dove down head first. At first I was a little in shock like "Is he really doing this AHHHHH oh he's REALLY doing this." I let him work his magical tongue...magic and then I obvi returned the favor. His dick is about average, but sometimes it's not about the size of the boat. SOMETIMES. And I use that very loosely.While I'm giving him head he starts skullfucking me and at this point I'm no longer interested in sucking now it's about trying not to throw up. Being drunk is not the best time to start gagging. Once we finished that he told me to lie on my back and he put my legs on his chest. I'm assuming since he was fucked up too that's why he was fucking me so hard lol. But That's what I like, I like to be able to hear our bodies slapping together. Sue me. I didn't realize how fucked up we were til he stopped to open the door and puke. I didn't know what to do in that situation so I just started nervously rubbing his back. I wasn't sure if I should've even done it but if I was puking I'd want someone to hold my hair and rub my back. But holding my hair is more important if I had to choose. When he pops back in the car I get on all fours and we continue having sex. Overall I was very pleased with his performance. He told me my pussy tasted amazing and that he could eat it every day (shit, don't threaten me with a good time) and I kissed him goodbye then drove off, thinking about the next time I could get him to give me head again. Now when I woke up I knew I had sex the night before. But I looked at my neck and I had a few hickies. No big, because I knew how to get rid of them fast. He hit me up and told me I left big ass hickies and bite marks on him. I didn't even remember biting him. He told me only from the neck down. Well shit I had never heard of this rule! And I don't think my drunk ass would've cared either way. But I made a note to be more gentle in the future.
In all he's a pretty good partner, as he's one of the few who gives me head on the reg. The only thing that fucks it up is he acts stupid sometimes when it comes to his "ex". They aren't together when we go out but the next day they are. I'm like look Idc if you have a girlfriend as long as you wanna continue this. I would sincerely hope I'm not fucking one of those unstable facebook creatures...you know the type. Constantly talking about how thru they are with their significant other, then the next day talking about how in love they are and how they're excited to make it work. I have zero time for the bullshit. I just like people to keep it straight with me, whether you like me or just my vag. And the sad part is it's been 4 months and we still have no straight answer. My take is he just likes to get fucked up and fuck me, and I'm a-ok with it. Whether it's in my backseat or on the edge of the bathroom sink at our friend's house (oop!). D'ahh well as long as he continues eating the P we're good for now.

Sexsomniac is still my clutch tho, despite him saying he's in love (with his gf, not me). But that's neither here nor there. And ohmagoshhhhh y'all guess what (pictuer me saying this with the hella country ass accent that I don't have) for everyone thinking I just like Mexican peen I had some black peen for the first time in a really long time. That sounds horrible...........but when I actually looked at it I haven't had any since like 2011 right before the boobs. So funny everyone thinks I don't like black guys. I do just rarely the ones from where I live. When I think about all the black dudes I've been with the majority of them weren't from here. But the one I had recently was. And that whole situation was just weird but the sex was amazeballs, so I'm trying to spend less time one weird and more time on sex. Speaking of, I STILL have no idea on the proper booty call etiquette post coitus. Someone told me I have to wait at least a week and a half before I hit him up. PFFT fuck all that! Why do I have to pretend like I haven't been thinking about you for the past week when lord knows I wanted to fuck you again right after you wiped me down, and on my way home. And when I woke up the next morning. WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT. I don't call it desperate I call it greedy. Telling a dude you're a sex addict means nothing these days. And neither does them saying they are one. I had Sexsomniac tell me he wants it all the time, yet we don't have sex every day because he's tired from the gym or whatever bullshit. I actually NEED that shit. multiple times a day if it's good, but I mean hey I'll settle for once a day, maybe even like 3-4 times a week. But NO. I can't have nice things >:(

What the fucking fuck man....
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy 

Random Pish Posh

So here's another random ass blog of just stuff that's been on my mind lately.

First off, FUCK El Capitan okay. After that first day when he only fucked me once he promised me that next time would be longer. Okay. So we planned to meet up again, and this time he requested anal. I didn't remember him being too girthy so I thought, shit, why the fuck not. I get into town and go to work, since I'm going to see him in the morning. Mind you I didn't even wanna be in town that weekend I only went for some peen. He told me to come at 8:30 which meant I had time to go eat breakfast and head out to him. I made it out there at 7:30 and at 8 he tells me sorry he fell asleep on me but if I can pick him up an hr away. Are you shitting me?! I just drove an hour to see you! I was just like shit I'm already out here for some peen might as well. But he owes me BIG TIME. I was not even 5 minutes into my journey to go see him before he started complaining about having his bike with him and how it wouldn't fit in my car or some shit. Then he said today is just not a good day I'm sorry and fell off the face of the earth. MOTHERFUCKER. I could've been sleep!!!! I called him everything but a child of god that morning. A few weeks later he hits me up and asks if I wanna come hang out with him cause he's having a party. I asked him if his parents were outta town or something and he says yeah. I'm like I'm down, thinking once the party is over I can hang around for a bit since no one is gonna be there. He asks if I can bring some friends for his cousins. I don't see why not, although the only girls I know work at the club and it would be kinda hard to pull them away from work on a Friday night. I figured I'd fib a bit, say they were coming on their own, and when they didn't show be fake mad about it, but suggesting we should still have sex since I'm already there. Well, I get there and lemme tell you I'm SOOO GLAD none of my friends came thru. Bitch sent me on a dirty mission! When I told him if I brought girls they wouldn't be strippers his cousins were disappointed. Cause you know, all strippers are easy. When I got there I was horrified. If my friend asked me to hang out with her dude's friends and they were all ugly I'd punch her in the ovaries. Which is exactly what my friends woulda done. And I wouldn't have even been mad at them about it. None of them were cute. I hung around and then after an hour I said they weren't coming. This bitch then decided to send me on my merry way because "he didn't want me to hang out here by myself". What about the original fucking reason I came out here in the first place bitch?! I was too hot because once again I drove to him for some peen and left empty handed. When I brought up that fact he said "I know, that sucks." Well fuck you too then! He drunkenly hit me up after that, but other than that I haven't heard from his punk ass. I'm not with that shit lol. And btw he's still using the nickname that I came up with as his name on twitter. As of now he has to find a new nickname. He is no longer allowed to use it.

OH! Here's another thing that pissed me off. So I have this friend who lives a few states away, but we still text each other nshit and we had always discussed meeting up soon, but the shit never got past the random suggestion stage. One day he randomly hits me up telling me he'll be in Vegas soon and if I would like to come I'm basically more than welcome. I'm like yessss a weekend in Vegas with some guaranteed peen why the fuck not. He let me know about 2 months prior so I had enough time to get my life together. First it was gonna be a trip with me and my friends and I would just see him while I was down there. Then my friends bailed so my sole purpose of even going was to hang out with him. As the date approached, I felt like I was asking about Vegas more than he was, and it was his trip! We talked like a week before about it and how he was basically going to fuck my brains out and I was all "yaaaaaaay". A few days before the trip I asked if he was driving so I knew whether I'd need a cab, or if I should just drive the entire way, you know just needing to straighten out some fuzzy details. no response. Hit him the next day since it was kinda late his time. Nothing. Finally a day before I'm supposed to leave he hits me and says yeah my buddy drove. This was after I had already seen him update fb and twitter that he was indeed driving with his friend. Tf? I decided to leave my car in SoCal and take a shuttle to Vegas and asked if he could get me from the Excalibur. He told me they just took a shuttle to and from the strip, and that it stops at the Excalibur. When I asked him what time he'd be done Friday so I knew what time to leave he told me when he'd be done for the entire weekend and I'm like no, I just need to know about Friday. No response. Sent him a pic of my fresh ass wax job. Nothing. Now he was starting to piss me off. Friday morning I text him and ask him what the plan was. Once again I got nothing. So I was like fuck it you must not want me to go then! I gave him until 4pm, cause I was not about to be driving to Vegas at all times of the night. 4pm came and nothing. So I said fuck it and hung out with Sexsomniac and my brother instead. I told them what was going on and was like "Watch. He's gonna hit me up around 9 asking where I'm at. Ol' smug ass bastard.". Like I'm going to Vegas alone. I'm not gonna drive out there and twiddle my thumbs hoping you might hit me up. What would happen if you didn't?  I would've just wasted my gas and been stuck in Vegas. Sure enough 10 o'clock came and I got a "Are you in Vegas?" text. Bitch are you serious?! I haven't heard from you all day, not to mention trying to get info from you was like pulling teeth and you still expected me to go? So I did him how he did me and ignored his ass while continuing to tweet and update my fb. When I finally did answer I hit him with a dry ass "Nope." and he sent me a sad face. Bitch get the entire fuck outta here okay? This is YOUR fault. Although I wasn't tripping because of course Sexsomniac came in clutch as always. But that's another blog for another day.

I went on a date last week. And don't get me wrong I enjoyed myself and the free Ruth's Chris Steak House. Just not the guy I was with. Lol. He was slightly annoying. He was a 32 yr old white guy who was a regional manager of a produce company from Sacramento to Bakersfield. And not interesting whatsoever. He was more interested by me. I was trying to be kinda mean and weird, and that made him like me even more. Fuhhhhhhhh. After the date and my steak he started hitting me up every day to plan our next date for the following week. Slow ya roll sir. I stopped answering his texts and he would literally have full blown conversations with himself. He called me rude for not returning a compliment or even saying thank you, and how I'm missing out on him and whatnot. After 12 unanswered texts I know I would get the hint. Not this guy. He wants to take me to Flemmings next. I don't think I have the heart to stomach another date with him for free yummy food when I don't even wanna be at the same table as the guy. We are in two completely different places in our lives! I was trying to picture him hanging out with my friends and I couldn't do it. I imagined him being uncomfortable as fuck. I don't wanna be a bitch but I swear he wants to meet my mom and get my dad's blessing already! I copped out and told him his persistence was kinda killing it for me and he said he really likes me and is intrigued by me and he doesn't want that. He knows I'm busy so he'll let up. Hopefully I won't have to hear from him again. lol.

Sometimes I wish I didn't like good dick so much. It makes me crazy. I feel like I don't get it enough to turn it down when they act stupid, which in turn makes me mad cause they still continue to act stupid. But I need it more than I need them to stop acting stupid, if that makes any sense to you. Makes perfect sense in my head.

I need to stop smoking/consuming weed. I need to be able to land a day job with clean pee so stripping can go back to being my side hustle. Because Uncle Sam is fucking me in the ass with no lube.

I can't remember the last time I watched porn. And I only watch it when I'm about to rub one out. So I haven't done that either. Be proud of me.

Puerto Ricans eat thee best pussy. This is not up for debate.

I like my guy to make the first move so I don't feel like some sex addicted spider monkey feind. My aggression scares people for some reason. So I'll just sit here and wait on you instead.

If I refer to you as a brother that doesn't mean hop in the bed with me at 3am asking if I wanna cuddle. And when I say no and threaten to fart on you if you touch me to whine and complain about how horny you are. Clearly you are unclear on the concept. And I don't care how horny you are. Stay on your fucking side of the bed and shut the fuck up or get out and sleep on the floor. All the other brothers get it! Get with the program!

Are we still out there eating ass? Not that I'm looking to have mine ate I'm just curious.

Good kissers make my panties wet. So do hickies.

I've lost 7 lbs. But probably gained back half of that over spring break. Boo.

I'd like to thank the Mexican boy who lived around the corner for making me who I am today. Without him my oral skills wouldn't be as on point as they are. Practice makes perfect, and when we'd get outta school 2 hours early every other Wednesday I sure as hell got my practice in. Although you annoy the shit out of me now and I will most likely never fuck you again, I wanna say I do appreciate you! Every time I see someone's eyes roll into the back of their head and feel their legs spasm. You go, Glen Coco.

The best way to end spring break is to have said Puerto Rican eating you out while you smoke a bowl. Yessss spring break turned out better than I expected.

Well, I'm off to get ready for work. I shall still update you on Sexsomnaic and the Puerto Rican.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

The Day Dick Drove Me Insane

And I'm not even kidding you right now. Like mental breakdown status. I think I'm mentally unstable lol. But lemme go on ahead and set the scene for you.

So I've been lusting after my old boss for some time now. When he worked at the club I'd flirt with him a little bit, but nothing too serious because he was my boss and I didn't wanna be THAT bitch, and because he had a girlfriend. But then he stopped working there and I would text him and see how he was doing and stuff. And one day he finally got me to admit that I wanted to fuck the shit out of him. Ad he responded by telling me he wanted the same. Yay! Only problem was he lived in east jesus nowhere and he lives with his girlfriend. When I go down to work I don't stay alone so it's not like I could invite him over. What's a girl to do? One time he did ask if he was to invite me over what would I do and I told him don't tempt me, but nothing happened. Finally after all the "I just wanna fuck you/eat you/please you" texts I got fed up. My sexual frustrations were getting the best of me. I confronted him and asked him if I scared him or was too aggressive for him (since that's what I keep hearing). He said maybe, maybe not and I told him all my lusting after him was getting me nowhere. Then it happened.

"Lol it will don't worry. So here's the thing I have a gf now. I still want you nonetheless will that change things for u"

Now before you guys start getting all judgey judgey lemme defend myself for a minute lol. I don't go actively pursuing guys with girlfriends. For the most part I don't even know they exist til further down the line. It just kinda happens that way they seem to be drawn to me. Most of the time if you come at me and I know you have a gf I get immediately turned off and start screen capping texts, just in case. BUT. There are certain exceptions. If I'm just drawn to you and you actively pursue me and I find out you have a gf then I tend to reconsider. Especially if you acknowledge the fact that you have a gf but still want me. Because at that point we have way too much sexual tension between us for me not to do it. But that's rare. And this happens to be one of those rare cases. Shit if you don't care and you're the one in the relationship why should I? But what about the gf? Have you no shame? Well. Yeah that sucks for her. And the roles can easily be reversed. But at the end of the day whether I fuck them or not if a guy wants to cheat he's going to cheat be it with me or anyone else. Now I wouldn't do this to any girl I knew personally, but if I don't know her from a can of paint then....Of course you guys are probably still shaking your head to which I say this is my life not yours you are just reading about it lol. It makes complete sense to me...

Back on topic tho, I told him not really, because in my mind I had already made the decision to fuck him, whether he was gonna give it up willingly or if I was gonna have to take it. We agreed to meet up the next day when he had some free time. I was too juiced. I now know how guys feel when they finally bag that girl that they've been chasing after forever. It feels great! He told me to meet him at 10, and I got to his city at 9:58ish. Not wanting to look overly eager I parked in a 7-11 parking lot, ate my last edible and waited for it to start kicking in before I called him. I texted him good morning around 10:40 and asked him what he was doing and he wasn't even at home! He was getting a hair cut. Guess I took too long. But he was on his way back and told me to meet him at his house. I drove over there and I saw him walking down the street. Now he's like 2 years younger than me but when I saw him he looked like a little boy! I started having second thoughts and I was like bitch stop tryna psych yourself out you've been wanting this for months. I park the car and he meets me at the door. We sat and caught up a little bit, he told me what he'd been up to since he left and I told him everything that was going on at work. Around 11:50ish he asked me how my edibles were making me feel. Told him I felt nice. He asked how do they make sex feel and I said amazing. I was starting to get worried he was gonna chicken out because we hadn't talked about anything sexual since I had been there, except why they call me Tits McGee. He looked at his phone and said "So it's 12 o'clock now. I have a soccer game at 2:30, that gives us about 2 & 1/2 hours. Do you want it?" Idk why but when he asked me if I wanted it it was just a turn on. I nodded my head and he said "Do you want it right now?" Nodded again. He asked if I wanted it in the bedroom or living room and I told him I didn't care as long as he gave it to me. He chose the bedroom and I followed him. I stood in front of the bed and he immediately came up behind me and bent me over the bed. I took my jacket off while he tried to pull my sweats off. I had to untie them first and he just ripped the shit off. I was on my stomach and he started to lick and kiss my butt and I panicked a bit because I wasn't sure if he was trying to eat my ass or eat me from the back. All I know is I'm not about that ass eating life just yet so I rolled over. Oh btw, I vajazzled my vag, dk if he noticed or not, but my rhinestone heart didn't last long at all:( He got down on his knees and spread my legs open and went to town. Now at first he was only licking like the top and I thought "Oh my god he doesn't know what he's doing" but maybe he was just teasing cause he finally went a lil lower and DAYUM. I just kept saying this isn't real. This isn't real! Oh but it was and it was great. He would spread my legs hella far so I didn't have much wiggle room and the only thing I could do was run. Then he dragged me by my legs back to the edge of the bed, got on top and started kissing my neck. Mmmm. He sat up and played with my clit with one hand and started putting on a condom with the other. You nimble man you. He grabbed me by my legs and stuck it in. I'm so mad I was high because I didn't even pay attention to his dick, but regardless it was still good. First my legs were draped over his arms, then he grabbed me by my ankles, then he put my legs together to one side. Yes, yes, yes. Good boy. Then he pushed my legs to the side of the bed so I was in like an L shape, and I wanted him to his from the back so I rolled over onto my knees. I threw it back on him and he was tellin me how good I felt and I was like "I know" and then he took over. He spanked me for a bit and then he would do those damn death strokes. Love those. He turned me back over, went down on me again, and I couldn't do shit but say his name repeatedly. He got back on top and put my legs on his shoulders and just drilled me. He asked if I liked it and I said mmhmm and then he got off and I got back on my knees. The way he was giving it to me was exactly what I needed because I haven't gotten it like that since...October 13th. One thing that did catch me off guard was when he grabbed me by my bra strap and told me to squeeze my P on his dick. That was a first but I did what I was told. When I told him I was about to cum he fucked me harder and every time he thrusted he would say "cum. Cum. CUM." And I liked that lol. He finally pulled out and I couldn't feel my legs. When my mind came back I realized I didn't give him head. While it was dope that he didn't ask or anything I would've liked to have showcased my skills too! It's not every day someone gets a blow job from a bitch with 3 tongue rings. He laid down next to me and told me I was really flexible. I told him I wasn't cause I couldn't bust a full split and then he went on a tangent about the different stages of flexibleness (Flex, flexy, and flexible. His words not mine) and told me I was flexy. Then he started talking about ugly people and I just zoned out. HE got up and got dressed, and I took that as my cue to get dressed too. I was hoping that wasn't he end of the festivities but he hit me with that "Oh, my friends should be on their way soon.....so.....yeah." Lol he said he had to call his gf back too and not to say anything. Well no shit Sherlock! I made sure to go get what was left of my vajazzle out the room and I told him bye and went to my car.

Overall I was happy with his performance. Now I see why he gets so frustrated with the fact his girl won't put out anymore. A guy like that NEEDS to fuck at least 3 times a day. I'd def be happy to oblige him on that. BUT that was the problem. We only had sex one time for like 20 mins/half an hour and already it was time to go. I expected to get fucked at least a couple times while I was there. He was the one saying how he needed it more than one time and how long he could go for. Not to mention it took me an hr to get to his place! (Not a word.). So here I was, happy I just got some good dick but mad I wasn't getting any more. I was telling myself "My life can't be like this! This sucks!!! Why me!?" Why I was talking to myself I have no idea. I was pretty high in an unfamiliar area and I had an hr drive to get back to my friend's house so I started freaking out. I called my friend and immediately started rambling to her. I told her I just fucked my old boss and it was great and I wanted to cry. She asked me why I wanted to cry and then I did and I was like I don't know what's wrong with me!!! Here I am driving down the street high af with this ugly ass cry face stuck on. I know people thought I was crazy. I almost started to say I missed the Antichrist but stopped myself...and I think I went on a tangent about how I deserved to have a good sex life because I was a good person or something to that effect. She would remember better than I did. But that was just sad. Sad sad sad. Like I think I associate good sex with him too much because when I tried to replay what had just happened I found myself saying the Antichrist's name but still picturing El Capitan. Weirrrrrd.

Nonetheless, I still wanted to see him again. But seeing as to he had a gf I decided I wouldn't text him just yet. Therein lies another problem. Should I text him and tell him I liked it? Should I wait for him to text me first? What if he's waiting on me to tell him it was good? And if I do decide to text him first how long do I wait?! It's gonna be tricky tryna guestimate when he's away from her so we can talk about it...but then it could go like that one bitch who after I finally mustered enough courage up to ask for another round told me "Maybe if you play your cards right." And he was single. That shit pissed me off all over again. I came to the conclusion that he only did it that second time to redeem himself for the first misfire. And once he was satisfied with the results he was good. Whatever. But yeah...idk what to do. lol. If I had my way I would've fucked him again the next day but I don't wanna be a buzz. God I just wish I knew what was going on in his head right now. And so far one exception outta three ain't bad. Ugh this is exactly what I DIDN'T want to have happen lol I wanted it to be good but not GREAT. Fuck. Like he told me he was going to eat me and please me and fuck the shit outta me but I didn't take it all that serious. That's not a lil boy that's a grown ass man. Well I guess we'll see what happens.

Miss Sixxxty, your unstable ass freak of the industryy

The Big Stripper Orgy! Kinda...

hay hay hay. I told myself I would at least write one more post before 2012 is over. So next on the list is my reunion with Sexsomniac. He's been coming in so clutch lately. Like he has helped me in my lil situation more than he knows.
Speaking of which, I still haven't spoken to the antichrist, he seems pretty content with his current situation and I can't be too mad at that...For the most part after the initial shock and borderline depression it has been a lot easier than I would've expected. But then again I think the only way I'm managing to stay sane are the edibles that just make me not give a flying fuckotash about anything. But shit I'm not hurting anyone so whatever works. I'm just waiting for the day I can't even stand the thought of being back with him.

But anyhoe...let me tell you about what went down the night I hung out with Sexsomniac. So it was Thanksgiving vacation and my friend was in town. Sexsomniac hit me up and asked me if I wanted to kick it with him. I honestly can't even remember the last time we had actually had sex but hey. Why not? It was a Sunday night and I wasn't doing shit anyways. When I got the hotel I got off the elevator and I just remember seeing these two big girls following me. I heard one of them ask "It's room 302 right?" and I'm thinking, wait, I"M going to room 302...so I power booked it down the hall to the room. When I get there my friend, Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap and the Mexican Breast Feeder were there plus some white guy I had never seen before in my life. I asked them if they invited any other girls and they just stared at me. Soon enough the big chicks opened the door and asked where the bathroom was so they could get ready. As soon as they shut the bathroom door Sexsomniac stepped into the hallway and I just pointed and silent laughed at everyone in the room. The Mexican Breast Feeder started to look at me and I was like "Oh hell no. I was summoned on pleasure not business fuck you guys I'm gonna enjoy the show." Idk why they always call these stripping companies to pay for bean poles and whales when they have *me* on call. They know what I look like already! But I digress.
The girls come out of the bathroom in their tacky ass lingerie and I can't help but think one of the girls looks familiar. After doing some questioning I found out I knew her from high school. She was a year older than me. We shall call her...Peggy. And her friend can be...Shelly. So Shelly looks around the room and asks who's gonna go first. Nobody moved, nobody said shit. I volunteered Mr. Dunlap since it was his birthday. The look he gave me = priceless. So the girls start hopping into laps...and because they're slightly on the bigger side they never get completely naked. They leave their lingerie top things around their waists. The Mexican Breast Feeder asks me if I would join the ladies in performing and Shelley chimes in and says she would love to see my boobs cause she likes girls. Um. No. Ma'am. I told her she was working and I wasn't gonna impose on her money. Oh I almost forgot to add we were listening to music off Shelley's phone with that ridiculous ass Boom Cube thing. This entire night was just getting more ratchet by the second. Peggy suggests that they start the private shows and she and the white boy head off to the bathroom. As they walked past me I was wondering if he noticed or even cared about the big ass herpe looking sore on her ass cheek. After they go in I noticed the Mexican Breast Feeder and Sexsomniac had both called me and I was confused because we were in the same room. I asked why they called me and they were like "Well you said no one called you to come work., so we were calling you now." Too late bitches lol. Shelley asks if we wanna see some dollar tricks. Okay, now you have my attention. Wtf is a dollar trick? You tip her a few dollars and she'll pick it up with her cooch. I had to see this so I ponied up some ones from the boys and gave em to her. She folded them in half hot dog style, put them on Mr. Dunlap's stomach, and she made sure to tell me "you gotta be a little wet first" and she crouched down and picked the shit up. Money is DIRTY AS FUCK. Okay? And you're picking up that dirty shit. With your PUSS. I know your cooch is absolute trash cause you clearly don't treat it with respect. I won't even take a dollar out a customer's mouth with my mouth, let alone my cooch. But whatever will pay your bills get it how you live pymp.
Peggy comes out the bathroom to see her partner getting tips and she says "Well anyone got a 5?" I'm like what are you gonna do with a 5? She says she'll roll it up and stick it up her butt. I think I'll pass. Then she says she can do a beer bottle trick for 20. Now this I HAVE to see. I pony up some more money from the boys and she's like she needs a clean beer bottle. She picks one up to go clean it and Shelley says "I wouldn't fuck a girl who knows how to do a beer bottle trick. Everyone just stares at the white guy and he puts his cowboy hat back on and doesn't say shit else for the rest of the night. She comes back in the room and all this lazy bitch did was fuck herself with it! Trick my ass!!! Shelley and Mr. Dunlap head off into the bathroom next and Peggy is just like...wtf do I do with myself. She gives a few more lap dances and sees Sexsomiac with a Shocktop. She's like omg is that a Shocktop can I have some? He stares at the bottle, then back at her and tells her she can just have it. She's like no I just want a taste and he's like no really, you can keep it. She takes a drink and tries to give it back and he stares at it like it's covered in AIDS. He Sends em a sad text saying "I really wanted that Shocktop, it was the last one:(" I tell him to just wash it off and he's like fuck no. Oh well. Lol. I look at the time cause I'm like these bitches have been here a long ass time so I ask Peggy how long these shows are supposed to be and she's like shiiiiit we went waaaay over time. She gets dressed, rolls a blunt, and asks if anyone cares to join her she'll be outside. Nobody went to join her. Before she left I asked if she was taking her friend with her and she's like "Oh. She's a big girl she knows when the show is over." Then I asked if she was gonna take her swtuff and she was like "I don't touch anything that ain't mine" and left. I knocked on the door like 4 times to let Shelley know her time was up, that her partner left and that her stuff was still here. she comes out the bathroom dressed, pissed her partner left her and when I said she left her stuff cause she didn't wanna touch it she was like "Pfft, yeah right." Damn.
After the girls left I cornered the white guy and asked him what happened.  He would only touch his cowboy hat and not say shit. All I could get him to admit to was that he fingered her MAYBE a little bit. Mr. Dunlap on the other hand was not shy at all "YEAH I FUCKED HER. And she sucked the shit outta my balls while she jacked me off. And I would've put it in her butt if my legs weren't shaking so much." These are the people I hang out with. I'm thinking if she did that with you guys, who else have they done it with. That's why I keep my bougie ass in the clubs and out the hotel rooms. Mr. Dunlap paid me 50 bucks for a topless lap dance but thank god he told me it felt "weird". Cause I didn't wanna do the shit anyways. Then he squished his fat ass body on me and Sexsomniac with all his BBW stripper sweat juice on us and I felt so dirty. He's a bitch for that. Gross. After he left the Mexican Breast Feeder kept trying to have a threesome with me and Sexsomniac claiming they were so close that one time like a year ago. Bitch please. Go sit in a corner I DON'T WANT YOU! After a few failed attempts he finally left and me and Sexsomniac were sitting on the floor and he kept touching the inside of my thigh. Finally.

I'll save the actual sex part for the next blog. FYI shower sex is only halfway what it's cracked up to be. Shits dangerous af.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Shit Happenis Says

Hayy y'all. It's now been two years since I first started banging the fuck out of Happenis...or rather he's been banging the shit out of me. Thru all the good sex and bad sex, trivial fights and even ER visits, we still manage to keep things going. And since he's usually drunk he's usually spewing out the most ridiculous comments. And I figure I'd share them with you:)

"I feel like you're waling around with 15 of my kids inside you" (words after sex)

"See? I have personality. There's more to me than just my big cock."

Me: Are you hungry?
Him: Yeah, if robertitos and my cock are on your mind

Him: Are you mad at me?
Me: no. (yes)
Him: your a bitch.
Me: why because I'm irritated?!?!
*Couple hours later*
Him: Are you done being mad?
Me: Depends...am I still a bitch?
Him: Nope.
Me: then no.
Him: kk come over

Him: wanna?
Me: aaaaaaahhh!!! I'm on the road!
Him: how far
Me: mmm like an hour
Him: Nvm
*throws phone across car*
*an hour later*
Him: kk come get me

A normal convo between us:
Him: fix?
Me: yeah.
Him: come
Me:omw
Him: kk
Me: outside
Him: kk

*First ER visit*
Me: You ripped me a new one.
Him: Oops. weird lol

Me: yes and kinda painful lol

Him: Welcome lol

Me: I had to explain it to 6 different people last night

Him: "I was getting beasted and couldn't handle it. *sigh*"

Me: oh whateverrrrr that was all you lol

Him: I beasted you

Me: No you stabbed me lol

Him: BEASTMODE

Me: cheap shot

Him: KILLER INSTINCTS

Me: Killer instincts my ass

Him: Man if pole dancing's a art you know how many fucking artists I know?
Me: one
Him: one

Him: bomb pussy. no babies!
Me: thank you. bomb dick.
Him: I mean it! No babies.

"You piss me off a thousand times a month, I swear. But I still fucking love you."

*waves fingers in my face*
Him: My fingers were in you. This is what you smell like
*blows air in his face*
Me: That's what YOU smell like.

"You want my cock soooo bad....it's gonna cost you though. I don't do any black friday deals"

"Sorry if your pussy is sore. No fucking babies"

Him: Where are you going?
Me: To clean up the mess you made. I'm messy.
Him: you really need to stop peeing on yourself.
Me: shut. up. 

"I don't want you to think I'm saying this just because you write about me or because I'm coming down from being drunk, but your blog is really good, you're good at writing and telling a story."

Him: Just grab it
Me: No! I'm not gonna get you hard. I'm driving! And you're not about to attack me.
Him: I won't get hard and you only have to shift until you get into what, like 3rd gear? Just touch it. I won't get hard.
*grabs it*
Me: I thought you said you weren't gonna get hard!
Him: I mean you ARE touching my dick what did you expect?

Him: I think I came inside you
Me: what else is new?
Him: what do you mean?
Me: lol you do it all the time!
Him: dude stand up I don't want you having my babies
Me: lol then start pulling out
Him: how am I supposed to and you're laying there screaming my name telling me not to stop?

"You gotta understand from a guy's point of view though. Sending a girl to the ER cause she couldn't handle it is hilarious. I'm not gonna be like 'Oh, are you alright? Is your pussy okay?' I'm gonna laugh."

"You get so mad when I don't fuck you for 2 hours. Guess I've just set the standard too high for myself."

"Sometimes I just get into beast mode and fuck for four hours. I remember I fucked you for like three and you started complaining about your pussy hurting. It wasn't THAT bad."

"I don't want you having my babies ok, but if we had kids they'd have big dicks and big asses"

"You're welcome"

*during sex*
"Oh you called other guys tonight before you called me huh? You tryna see other guys? Go ahead answer it. Pick that shit up" 

"Look. I have a hundred dollar bill in my room. I'm gonna go to the bank and cash it for singles. Then the next time we fuck while I'm fucking you doggy style I'm gonna be slapping your ass and I'm gonna make it rain on your back saying 'Alright alright alright you gon learn today'. And we're gonna get it all on camera"

Him: What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT.
Me: Whaaaaat? What what?
Him: Are you on your fucking period dude?
Me: What? No I don't even get a period I'm on the shot *grabs fingers* you don't even have blood on your fingers what are you talking about?
Him: What is THAT *tugs on string* feels like a tampon are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: Oh god yeah I forgot that was there................
Him: Why are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: It's complicated!!
Him: You seriously just made my boner disappear.

*hacks my facebook*
"My vagina feels amazing"
"Hello my name is 'Loves Happenis's cock: )"

It's never a dull moment with this dude. One time we recorded us in my backseat and when we went to get tacos he just starts watching it while we're in line. -_______-. But he's pretty dope in the sack if I do say so myself so...yeah. Lol.

Dick so good - give up your facebook password, tell all your high school jump offs to stop calling you (seriously this time), cooking sunday style dinners on wednesday just cause that's "y'all" day to chill, and let him hit right after leaving the salon! -Anonymous
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy

Best I Ever Had.

Alrighty babes and gents if you follow me on twitter you may remember me tweeting something about shirtless LA dudes and cold weather and the best fucking head I've ever received in my life. And even if you didn't time to elaborate.

One night at work it was really slow so I hung out in the dressing room most of the night. Something told me to come out of the dressing room during the arm wrestling contest. They hold them between customers to boost crowd participation and give away the cheapest porns you've ever seen in your life.As I stood in the doorway I saw the most beautiful shirtless man I had ever seen. His back muscles were absolutely gorg. Then I prayed his face wasn't ugly and thank God he was gorg too. And his pecs...*drools* he was just AMAZING. I was walking around naked at the time so I bum rushed the stage, grabbed his man boobs, and stole his shirt. Cause I didn't want him to put it on. Lol. I chatted with him for most of the night, and I honestly don't remember half the shit he was saying except his name and the fact he's originally from Arizona. All I was thinking was "Just cause we're naked and he's shirtless we aren't going to straddle him. Yet". Like it took every ounce of will power in me to not try to fuck the shit out of him right then and there. I gave him my number, and made sure not to accept any cash from him. So then he technically wouldn't be a customer. I texted him when the weekend was over and we made plans to hang out the next time I was in LA.
I hit him up on friday to let him know I'd be in town for the weekend. I didn't hear back from him until the next day and he told me that he and his friends were going out that night and I should join them. As much as I would've loved to I had to be at work that night until 6am. Throughout the night he was telling me how his night was going, and then he said they were having a bbq later that day and I should join. "Unless you wanna come hang out after work;)" Why didn't my dumb ass pick the bbq I SHOULD HAVE PICKED THE FUCKING BBQ!!!!!!!!!! I told him not to play with me, because I actually would go to his house after work. It was just like a :you won't" back and forth and I didn't think we'd actually SEE each other. I expected him to pass out drunk and not to see him til later that day. He actually hit me up right before I felt work and asked me if I was still coming. Fuck. Say no. Bitch say no!!! "yeah I just gotta know where I'm going." *face palm*. NO!!!!! Bitch why?!?!?!?!?!?! All my coworkers were like "Don't fuck him. Just make out with him." I told them I wouldn't fuck him and I would just make out with him and MAYBE let him dry hump me. Bad idea.I drove all the way to the coast. At 6am. Knowing exactly why I was going there. I get to his house, and it's actually pretty dope. It's right near the beach and whatnot. He led me to his room, and it was the kind you have to step down into. I excused myself to the bathroom so I wouldn't have a repeat of the tampon incident. And I went back to his room. We watched some weird ass "scary" movie which was basically me watching it while he drifted in and out of sleep When the movie was over he asked me about my piercings, and I showed them to him, and he seemed especially fascinated with my three tongue rings. That's all he kept talking about. He mentioned he used to have his tongue pierced then a stupid ex girlfriend brainwashed him and convinced him to take it out. I proceeded to voice my disgust for his ex after that lol. Then he sat up on his knees, stared at me for a minute, then said "I need to know what those tongue rings feel like. Can I kiss you?" Of course stupid, you don't have to ask! And this was the beginning of the end.
He is just an amazing fucking kisser. He doesn't suck on my bottom lip too hard. And did I mention he was shirtless? And beautiful? and his eyes are this light brown that just....gaaaaaaaaah. Then he would kiss my neck, back up to my mouth and my brain was just mush. And for some reason every now and then I would smile and laugh while we made out. And I have no idea why. Then He licked down my neck, to my boobs and I just remember telling my self "no sex, no sex, no sex" and before I knew it he pushed up my tank top and just started licking my stomach up and down. I felt my leg twitch and I was like no just hold out a lil longer! He licked down my stomach and past my belly button, and then he threw my leg on his shoulder and started licking the ninja kitty. Over the yoga pants. And I wanted him to strip me down so bad. But he wouldn't! After a while he slipped my pants off, but did the same thing, this time over my thong. I just wanted to punch him in the skull for teasing me like this.  Finally everything came off and I fucking LIVED. I purely hated that man's existence and loved him at the same time. That is a grown ass man for you. And fuck his roommates for being in their home while I was there. because I literally wanted to scream my head off. It was THAT good. Lick, suck, nibble repeat. I hate the word clit but he would circle mine with his tongue and it would send chills up my spine, then I would start to run. He hooked both his big ol' muscular biceps around my thighs so I couldn't go anywhere, I just had to lay there and enjoy it. God I hate him. I hate him!!!!! I wasn't supposed to have sex but after that performance I felt I had no choice BUT to. He was down there for a while and just when I thought I couldn't take anymore he came up for air, kissed me then rolled onto his back and I attempted to return the favor. Now, this dude is low key hairy, I don't know his ethnicity, but he shaves where it counts. He shaves his chest and lets only a lil bit grow back and it looks sexy af, and he manscapes. That's all that matters in that regard. His dick is girthy, but wasn't very long:/ whatever his tongue makes up for that. I started off fine it wasn't until he told me to bring my ass to him when I failed miserably. We started 69 but then it ended more like him eating me out and me just giving him a half ass hand job because I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I got off his face and crawled to his dick and I sat on it. I rode him for a little bit then he put his arms around my back and said "You ready?" And he flipped me over on my back without sliding out. I laid on my back and I waited for him to get ready. He put my legs on his shoulders and went to semi work. I only say that because I'm used to rough hard fucking and idk if he was being kinda gentle cause his roommates were home or he thought that's what I wanted. But he moved my legs off his shoulders, bent down and sucked on my neck while he was thrusting. Hey sir? I think I love you. He sat back up and turned me on my side while he sat straight up. He has a big ass mirror by his bed so I just watched us while he was all focused on my ass. I moved my leg higher up so we would almost be in doggy and he told me that was the kill position and not to move. Okie doke. He still got behind me and did it anyways, then ta-daaaa. It was done. I didn't care cause he was beautiful and his head was amazing. So I laid on my stomach, and he just starts kissing my neck again, licking from my neck all the way down my back til he got right to the top of my crack. And sorry I can't think of a sexier word than crack. But Whenever he got to about the middle of my back I got the chills again, and he kept doing it and I felt myself getting wet again. Then before I knew it he yelled "SURPRISE!" And rammed it back in. Weeeeeeeeeee round two! So while I'm on my stomach with my ass arched into him he asks me if he can have some of my AriZona (how funny. A guy from Arizona drinking an AriZona.) so he's got one hand on the small of my back controlling my ass and the other he's drinking my green tea. So funny to check out in the mirror.
We had sex twice that day, took a nap, then he told me I could stay for the bbq later that day. I really needed to take a shower tho so instead I went back to my friend's house. Then after that he started acting all sketch. All I wanted to do was fuck him every time I came to LA and he had to start acting all gay and shit. He worked in tv production and had to be awake at like 5 every morning to beat morning traffic on his commutes so I would text him every now and then just to say hey, and then on the weekends just to let him know I'd be down there. It was one excuse after another. "This week at work was real brutal. I'm exhausted." "I'm getting sick" "I''m sick" after the third weekend I got annoyed and didn't hit him up after that. I felt if he really was sick he would hit me up when he got better. he hit me up like two weeks later to say he was feeling better, that he took a mini vaycay to Arizona to visit family and friends and that he would be back in LA monday night. He asked me how I had been and I told him "Sexually frustrated". He laughed at me, even though I wasn't joking. HE was the one who said "Well maybe when I get back to LA I can help you out with that;)". HE said it. I didn't even ask for it. So I sent him a picture and he was talking about how he wished he was back in LA and unfortunately I wouldn't be able to see him til next weekend. Now I haven't had sex in God knows when, and I decided to go all out this weekend. I shaved EVERYTHING, did my hair, picked out a cute outfit to see him in in case we went out for drinks or something, the whole nine. Texted him when I was on my way to LA, no response. Texted him the next night to see what he was up to, no answer. DUDE WTF?!?!?! Why would you tell me you're basically going to fuck me then just ignore me?!?!?!? I would've rather you had said no and I could've gone on about my merry way instead of planning my entire weekend around you. You don't need to blow smoke up my ass. If you're being a passive aggressive little pussy, then stop. Just say hey it was a one night thing I'll chalk it up as a loss and go on about my business. Stop tryna string me along. Like don't tell me you're gonna help me with my "problem" when you clearly aren't. If I don't wanna fuck you I'll make sure you know it so there isn't a question of doubt. I hate that his head was absolutely life changing cause now I'm spoiled. That's all I really wanted from him anyways. The sex was fun but ti wasn't AMAZING. I'd rather make out with him and give each other oral.

*SIDEBAR: I think 69 is a completely pointless position if one person is good at giving head. If the head is mediocre I can focus more on giving you head, which is good for you, but then I'd rather just give you head and you enjoy it. Now if you're amazing at it, then I can't focus on blowing you and I should just save us the trouble and sit on your face. So you don't think I suck at suckling dick. I'm really good when I can focus and don't have someone raping my clit with their tongue and pulverizing my g-spot with their fingers.

He knows the value of foreplay because he is a grown ass man. Don't know his age, think he's like 24+. But I've never had anyone focus on foreplay like that. I keep trying to tell guys not to underestimate the power of foreplay. Sure you may find it boring, but this isn't about you it's about pleasing your lady. But w/e. So once again I'm going back to ignoring this cunt. Yes, CUNT. Because that's exactly what hes acting like. Ol' bitch. My problem isn't that he isn't trying to fuck me again or whatever, my problem is he won't man up and just say so. If he did at least I'd know what it was. Whatever. I'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs while I wait to get laid.

But I'd feel real stupid if he dropped his phone in the ocean and lost all his numbers. That's still an option right?
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Return Of Puss In Boots

I knew he wasn't gonna stay away for long...
You don't have sex 4 consecutive times and then be like "No...we can't do this anymore."
So the following week after all the bullshit went down I told myself fuck him. I mean we weren't friends...and if we're not fucking...then what do I really need to talk to you for? I would be civil and respect the man in his house but that's about it. He was leaving to Mexico on Sunday so I only had to deal with him for a day IF that. I woke up early Saturday morning to charge my phone in the living room, not giving a shit about how I looked at that point and he pokes his head out his room. He tells me good morning and to please excuse his mess in the living room. I had my hair in my face and really didn't care to talk to him. I said morning and not worry about it, then went back to bed. Later that night my friend calls me and she's like "Hey, Puss In Boots wants to ask you something." I'm like what the fuck could he possibly want from ME?! She's like he needs a ride somewhere. This man has my phone number why didn't he call and ask me himself? I told her to tell him to stop being a weenie and to ask me himself. He gets on the phone all nervous asking me for a ride to a check cashing place since he had to be at the airport early in the morning. I told him I'd let him know in about 2 hours when I got off work. My friend messaged me on the under and told me that he was like "Oh man...I'm so tempted to fuck Autumn again (he still calls me by my stage name...) She was tempting me this morning". If I recall correctly I said like 4 words to him and didn't even make eye contact..? What kind of jezebel black magic was I using? But after she told me that I was like challenge accepted.

So I put on a fresh face of makeup and right before I was about to pick him up my friend was like "Oh SHE just came over" That ol' bald headed cock blocking ass bitch! Ever since that say she saw me laying on the couch she clearly felt some type of way. For weeks I didn't know she even existed then that day she saw me she decided to move in every weekend when I was there. You insecure tramp you are not slick I see what you did there. But then again, you have every right to be insecure. Hah. I mean the shit was her fault anyways telling him she wanted to "keep her options open". Well bitch he just happens to be doing the same. SO after she told me that I decided NOT to pick him up and work the rest of the night. Then he was off to Mexico that day.
I didn't see him that week because he was gone and I took the weekend off for Happenis. With the whole threesome sitchy Happenis and I decided to meet up in LA on Tuesday, but due to some bullshit on his part our plans crashed and burned. But FUCK I was expecting to get some dick that night and I wanted it. My friend and I ended up getting off work early and I told her I was going to sneak in his room and jump on his dick BUT we had to make sure that good ol' cock blocking Betty wasn't there. Sure enough she wasn't and my friend pushed me into his room while he was sleeping. He ended up waking up to the commotion and was asking what was going on. I apologized for waking him and went into the living room to watch tv and he got up and showered. He came out in a towel and robe and went into his room to change. BUT he left the door open while he was changing. Sneaky, sneaky! I told him I wasn't going to watch him to change but that what he was doing wasn't fair. After he got dressed he came into the living room and asked me if I wanted to smoke a bowl with him.........We all know how that goes. I took a hit and once again felt like my face was melting off. I got that nauseous feeling again and couldn't do anything but hug my feet to my chest and breathe. My legs started shaking and shit and I was acting all weird and he kept telling me I was fine, to calm down and it was gonna be okay. Then I started laughing at EVERYTHING. His other roommate was trying to sleep so we went into his room and he was talking about SOMETHING, but it was just funny. He was like "I feel like you're laughing at me" and I mean I was, but only because I was high. He walked over to me and pushed me back on the bed and was like there's a problem here. I didn't know what he was talking about until he started pulling my basketball shorts down telling me he didn't like them. He climbed on top of me for a minute and shot gunned me the last bowl he smoked, then started kissing my neck (fkiwbfueae;bcsanfnchwlhfalofh;p), licking up the side of my neck to my ear then biting my earlobe. He stuck his hands down my shirt and I could be crazy but I swear being high makes my nips extra sensitive. And the shit felt AMAZEBALLS. I had bought a big ass box of magnums earlier that day so I told him to grab them and we got down to business. He ate me out for a minute and before he put the condom he asked me to kiss it. No problem there. Then he asked me to play with his foreskin..................................................and I was just like umm.......how tf do I even do that? The fact that he wouldn't hold it back for me while I was trying to suck it was just.....it was like going over a fleshy speed bump. I didn't particularly like that shit...but I still did it anyways. God I hate foreskin...If I ever have a son I'm getting him snipped. Idgaf if his daddy isn't clipped I'm saving my baby a lot of trouble in the future.
Anyways he puts the condom on and he starts on top. He knows the value in foreplay so I was all ready to go. He was on top for a minute then whispered "You want me to hit it from the back?" Sir, you can hit it any which way you please. He flipped me and I had to stick my ass in the air so that he could hit my spot. I looked back at him briefly and he was thrusting with his hands on his hips lol. It looked funny but felt good so I wasn't about to judge. I threw it back a lil bit and then he came. He mumbled something about doing yoga, put on another condom and started stroking himself hard again. He was just like "fuck this, I'll just get hard in your pussy" Uh, okay. Lol. He put my legs on his shoulders then leaned all the way forward. My knees were by my ears and I was trying to figure out why he was the only guy that could get my legs all the way back without any pain. He asked me if I liked when he got hard inside me and I just pulled his hair. I wanted him to stop talking and to just fuck me lol. He stayed on top the entire time and I couldn't do anything but pull his hair and dig my nails into his back. He had his accent in full effect and my brain was just like hfjhfahefawo jeina fso;af soa;f a mush. He sat back up and put my hands on his waist so I could hold on to him and then BAM. Round two was over. Grabbed another condom and we had sex AGAIN. I think I had one more condom left in the room with me so after we finished the third time he was like lets wait til morning because morning sex is my favorite. Alright whatever you want. As I drifted off to sleep I was thinking mission accomplished.
We woke up the next morning and had sex two more times (we found another condom, woop woop) and I did the walk of shame back to my friends room. I knew he couldn't resist me it was just a matter of time. He hit me up later asking if we could be swingers and go to swingers parties, and I was just thinking "Swingers are couples...and we're not a couple...so...I'm confused" I was tryna figure out why that "friend" couldn't do it, but then I remember he has feelings for her or whatever, and I'm just LOADS of fun. So we can have al the kinky fun and she can have all that romantic shit. That weekend we had sex three more times...It would have been 4 had he let me take advantage of his morning wood, but he didn't :( He was in the process of moving so I understood. The last day in the apt he poked me in the ass with a broomstick to let me know I could still get the D. He just told me to hit him whenever and I made a mental note of it. Good to know you yummy little Columbian.

Good shit. Next blog I gotta tell you about The 4th Of July + Happenis + the tampon "incident" Most embarrassing shit ever.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

I Am The "A-Ha Moment" Bitch

Here we go again...
Just to snowball of the blog I wrote the other day, I have realized something. I am a "fantasy" girl. And I'm going to try to write this in the most humble way possible but I already know it's going to sound cocky as shit. THAT'S NOT MY ANGLE OKAY!!! What I mean is, there will be a guy who is in a good relationship, and I might come in at a point where it's rocky, or he just may be a complete dumb ass and just wanna try cheating. I'm the fun party girl type, I'm pretty, I dance, I'm sexually liberated/open, I mean as far as sex goes I'm a pretty damn good catch. The girlfriend just may lack one or more of these things which is why the dude is tempted my way. I don't lure these men in, it just seems I attract taken men more often than not. Anyways, if they hang around me long enough they're eventually going to try something. Back in the day when I was just a wee lass and learning how to properly use my shit I rally gave no fucks if a guy had a girlfriend. Because I felt I was single and it wasn't my problem. If I knew your man wanted to fuck me and I wanted him I would do it and not even feel bad. That was high school shit. I've grown up a bit more, polished my game, and (knowingly) taken men are off the menu. Homewrecking days are over (although I never knew if any of the guys girlfriends ever found out about me) the thrill just isn't there anymore. I get low key disgusted when men try to mess with me knowing they have a girlfriend it's like really dude? And when I know he's taken I don't even give him the time of day. Keep it movin' suga.
But anyways, as I got older I started noticing a certain type of dude. I've come across him a couple times which is too damn many if you ask me. What happens is they'll talk a big game, tell me all the shit they wanna do to me, and then when shit goes down they realized "Oh shit I'm in waaaay too deep" (No pun intended lol) and realize they've just fucked up. And most 0of the time I won't even know until after.

EXAMPLE NUMERO UNO
The first time it happened it was with this guy I went to high school with sending me a random AIM, which was weird cause I had stopped using it in high school, but I guess it still sent the messages to my phone when I was signed out. We talked back and forth for a couple days and would occasionally talk about sex. He told me he had a girlfriend I'm pretty sure, because he would talk about how she doesn't want to sleep with him, or how he wanted to have sex cause he was SOOOOO horny and I suggested he go and fuck his girlfriend. Idk but the sexual tension built up and finally we met up one night. I landscaped beforehand and showed up to his house. When he came outside to get me the first thing I thought was "oh my...someone has put on a little weight..." but I was already there so I went inside. We sat and talked for a minute then I think he kissed me, and I just remember him going down on me A LOT. Finally I was just like fuck it let's have sex RIGHT NOW. His pants were still on and I asked him to take them off. He told me to do it for him and I swear to god...his peepee was so small I just wanted to pull them back up. I just looked at his feet so he wouldn't see my face. Like I know you're a little guy, I get that, but that doesn't mean you have to be little all over!

SIDEBAR: Hand jobs. Would imply the use of four fingers and a thumb. What do we call it when I can only use two fingers and a thumb? A finger job? A pinch job? Suggestions?

So I tried messing with his lil peepee, then we 69'd for a bit, but his little peepee just would not hold blood. When he finally got a lil tiny bit of an erection, he put on the condom but went back soft as soon as he tried to stick it in. We finally just called it a night, and while I was driving home he sent me something along the lines of how much he loved his girlfriend, and he couldn't get it up because he kept thinking about her, and how he's so happy I made him realize that. I was just pissed cause I shaved for some bullshit. I wasn't tryna talk, I wasn't tryna be all like "Oh, I'm glad I could help" or none of that shit. Look,k you little peepee ass boy, we are done here. No more talking!!! He even started talking crazy like "Oh my god I want to marry her! Do you think I should propose to her?" Jigga WHAT? I am not your best friend I do not fucking know! After that I tried ignoring him and he still kept hitting me up like nothing happened, so I had to let him know I didn't wanna be his friend because we were never really friends in the first place and he needed to go away. Fuck. Then he vanished thankfully. But damn.

EXAMPLE NUMERO DOS
Then we have the Piss In Boots sitchy, which already confirmed what I already kinda knew. That the "friend" was more than a friend to him, he loved her, and blah blah blah he felt so guilty after she showed up when I left that he didn't even fuck her that night...He texted me and apologized for being disrespectful in his ignoring me, and how he was thinking with his dick and he didn't understand what he was getting himself into, that I still have to drink those juicer concoctions and how he'll still buy me lunch next time "just no bedroom festivities". UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep your money man...I told him what I was looking for, he talked a bunch of shit, then realized he wasn't with the shit! In both these situations I never forced them to have sex with me they were the ones who wanted it! If I'm not sure about sleeping with someone (here's a crazy idea) I DON'T GO THOUGH WITH IT! Why am I smart enough to delegate who I can and cannot sleep with, but these men aren't? Most of these characteristics, tendencies, and feelings are associated with women right? But these are MEN with PENISES. I am the most emotionally detached in these situations, and it's fucking annoying to have to deal with a dude and his feelings. That's not what the fuck I signed up for I made that clear before you stuck your dick in me didn't I? I don't want your money, your lunch, or your healthy hippie drinks. Just say hello and good bye to me and we can keep the shit civil. It just makes me wonder if ANY of the things we talked about yesterday were even genuine or if in his mind he was just trying to game me up. Guess I'll never know cause I'm not gonna ask him.
Having sex with me four times then having the "friend" show up made him feel guilty and finally admit to the feelings he had for her. The sad part is I don't think she wants to even be monogamous, but hey, if he likes it I love it. I just don't think it's the wisest decision to withhold your seed for one person when they clearly don't seem to have a problem spreading it all over town. But what in the fuck do I know right?
I just wonder what would've happened had I not gone out to get food and condoms and the "friend" walked in to see me sprawled out like a naked beached whale on his bed. Pretty sure I'd be the "What Now?" bitch. The "What Now?" bitch is the girl who will be in the middle of having sex with a guy, his girl walks in and sees what's going on, storms out, and he chases after her either semi or completely nude, and you're left alone and naked in the room going "...What now?" Talk about fucking awkward...
From now on before I jump in bed with someone I'm just gonna ask if they are emotionally invested in someone, if they're sure they want to do this, and if they're lying and they feel bad after to go lay on a therapist's chaise lounge cause I don't wanna hear that shit. 

Man...for all these dudes having these A-Ha I love her moments I should be charging for my services....
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

There's A First Time For Everything...

Although the drought ended like two weeks ago and it was fantastic, I feel like I'm back at square one. The Goblin (he really needs a new nickname...) won't put out, the blind date guy won't put out...shit I had options for like a week. What the fuck just happened?! There's always that one guy that never got a nickname, the one hour blow job dude. He ended up drunk dialing me one night, so I figured I'd go see what he was talking about.

Him: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Nothing much...
Him: Wrong answer
Me: mmm what is the right answer
Him: you finna slide through later an im finna snack.

Say no more! Hopped up out the beeeeeeeed, turned my sexy on, took a look in the mirror & said what's up. I kinda wish he lived closer to me cause going to see him is always a fucking mission. But usually how it goes is I'll either park in the driveway or across the street and we get down to business. This time he was a little drunk so as soon as I hopped in the backseat with him he pushed me back and pulled my pajama pants down. He brought me back up for a couple kisses and pushed me back down and slid my panties off (I hate the word panties but underwear sounds so juvenile ughhhhhh). His ass went to fucking TOWN. Effort is half of oral. The other half is skills. And he loves french kissing the Vee. He'd occasionally lightly bite on the inner labia and suck at the same time which sent chills up my spine (this is all starting to sound so technical). I was helpless and couldn't do shit but rub my fingers thru his hair and squirm. When he finally came up for air we switched. I gave him head like I had something to prove, only because it takes sooo long for him to bust when I'm giving him head it's frustrating. So I try harder and harder every time I see him. He pushed the hair out my face when I looked up at him and he asked me if I was "ready for this dick that I like sucking so much" lol. Yeah go'n head and give it to me. He tells me to lay back and he gets on top with my legs on his shoulders. This has got to be like the universal pose for commencement of sex or something because some way or another it always starts with my legs on someone's shoulders. God sometimes I hate car sex. In certain positions you spend more time trying to find a comfortable position than you actually do having sex! We did the legs on shoulders thing for a minute,  I got on top and rode him, then wedged myself between the front seat and his legs with my head sticking out the sunroof. I rode him like that using the sunroof for leverage, praying the cops didn't drive by again. He pulled me back in the car and we tried to 69 as best we could. I always feel a little weird with my ass in a dudes face no matter how clean it is...I think at some point he even stuck his finger in my ass which made me laugh.
Anyways he was just a peach eating machine that night. I honestly think he gave more than he received that night. At one point we tried doing it from the back in the car but alas we only have a certain allotted space so he got out while I was on all fours on the seat. He clearly wasn't happy with this because he pulled me out the car and bent me over the hood. As exciting as it was I was kinda paranoid about his mom, the neighbors the cops, ect. It didn't help my nerves much when he turned me over and pushed my ass up on the hood and fucked me with my legs on his shoulders again. There was no way in hell I could play of what we were doing if someone were to catch us. But it felt so good! My main focus was trying not to slip off the car and to enjoy the shit. He pulled out and I got back in the car and he wanted me to give him head while he was standing. I did what I was told and he skull fucked the shit out my head. Usually if I deep throat I do it once and keep doing it regular but with his hand on my head he did it a good five times before I had him pull out before I threw up. He said he wanted some special oral attention to the boys once again I did what I was told. In the middle of all this he asks me where my vodka gummy bears were. Uh...in the front seat but where did that come from? He took a mouthful of gunmies and went back to giving me head. Thank god I didn't get a yeast infection from that lol never put food on the cookie. After a while he stops and I ask him what's wrong. He tells me we can either go into his room and be quiet or finish handling biz on the futon in the garage. Why weren't we in there in the first place?!
He walks across the street and I slap on a lil minty lube on my vag, put his t-shirt on and run across the street. Back in the garage it didn't take much. I thought we were gonna go back to having sex but he went down on me again and licked away whatever lube I had down there. He got back on top, then I rode reverse cowgirl. For the finale I turned on the light of my phone and let him watch as I threw my ass back into him (he said he had never...). Then as quickly as I had started bam he pulled out and before I could even react it shot out like ten feet and landed in my hair!!! I kept saying "it fees like a wet paintbrush now" because the end of my ponytail was covered in nut, as was my back and my ass. He thought it was funny and called himself a shooter. I wiped my air off the best I could and he wiped me down. He let me run back to my car with his shirt on so I didn't have to dart across the street naked and we parted ways. What an interesting Wednesday night.

The Happenis clone is being weird.
Happenis is apparently in town and is still ignoring me.
I haven't had sex since then.
This sucks.

I woudn't be surprised if I had a gummy bear stuck in my canal.
Miss Sixxxy, your very own freak of the industryy

PORN.

I haven't been getting my stupid semi-weekly dose of dick and it's really starting to show. I haven't had great full body spasm sex since January. .I got close in March, but that was ruined. And I haven't had sex for over a month now. I am seriously going fucking bananas over here. I don't think the shit is fair. Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to go out during the week and meet people. That's my main problem I have no new work. And I can't go meet new work if I don't go out, right? But really the only time people wanna do shit is on the weekends when I'm shaking my ass for dollas. (Sorry if there are funky ass lookin words. Blogging from the netbook and sometimes this bitch decides not to put the letters even when I press them and right this second I'm too lazy to go back and proof read). I've only found one cute classmate, and even then he's kind of a nerd and slowly losing his sex appeal the longer we go without hooking up. I might give him a shot when the semester is over...fingers fucking crossed that it's more than halfway decent but less than amazeballs cause he's leaving a month after school ends and it would suck if the sex was great and he just up and left...

Anyways all the Einsteins out there seem to think masturbation is my cure all end all. Let me just say I'm about thisclose to going fucking blind from all these sucky ass elf induced orgasms. I don't need to JUST have an orgasm I need to go HAM on a dick, I need my back blown the fuck out and slapped around a bit and all that good shit. If someone ever saw me tryna do that shit to myself I'd probably be admitted into the nut house. Anyways I've been watching a fuck ton of porn lately and recently decided to switch it up from Girl Girl porn back to Boy Girl porn. The first porn I watched was BG and it was cool for a minute but aside from the money shots they got kinda boring. Then I started noticing things people watching porn trying to get off shouldn't notice. That's how I knew it was time to switch it up.

BOY GIRL PORN
Okay so my main question is where are all the attractive male porn stars? Doing gay porn:( Sucks in porn that as a guy you really don't need anything but a big dick and some stamina. I hate staring at ugly guys when I'm tryna get off. How the fuck am I supposed to get off on that shit when I can't get past that ugly ass mug?? Not to mention the sex faces make it sooooo much worse. I've come across a couple cute soft core actors, but then there was that whole thing about me not bein able to see how big their dicks were, or even if they were even sticking it in. I hated that shit about soft core but w/e...But mostly, the actors are pretty ugly. The main focus is on the women, which I like, but shit. Aside from Brian Pumper's ass I can't think of any cute actors:/
Then here's my weirdo ass problem. When The camera pans behind the actor fucking the chick, I'm WAAAAY too interested in his ass area. And not in an "Oh, that turns me on" way, but more of a "What the fuck is going on down there" way. First off it always looks like they're pinching in a fart the entire time. Loosen up a bit! No one is coming for your booty hole on this set. Then The gooch area bothers me to no end. The anatomy just won't register in my head. Like I'm well aware dudes don't have vaginas for obvious reasons but looking at the strip between their balls and ass...then looking down at what I've got...My mind = just BLOWN. I might sound like an idiot but I don't care right now I have questions lol. Then I wonder how clean their booty holes are because I've HEARD some men like having that area pressed down with a knuckle...I just can't see myself blindly tryna finger it, I might miss...or see something I shouldn't see nor even want to see and the mood is killed. Idk...Then sometimes they have a very interesting hair pattern on their legs, like little afro beady beads...distracting. I like hairless apes, but that's just me.Then I notice when They stand and thrust I swear it's like one of their balls disappears. Cause I only see one mackin' and hangin' whackin ol girl in the ass. Does their body like suck up the other teste? Or am I just trippin? But I could've sworn he started with two...Whatever. I also think there is way too much oral going on but then again I guess that's not for me anyways. Blow him once in the beginning and once in the end please.
The money shot is good in my book EXCEPT when he finishes in her ass and the camera just waits for her butt to push it out. That shit just makes me want to throw up and die.
Lastly I have a question about ebony porn (I hate that they call it that. You can tell who watches a lot of porn when they say shit like "She's such a pretty ebony girl." Who the fuck says that shit lol) Okay I Don't watch too many scenes if the chick has a purple vag (just a preference don't shoot me gad damnit) and NO black girls aren't the only ones with em. Mine isn't purple at all it's still kinda pinkish, while my baby mama is Mexican an Filipino an hers is suuuuper purple. Don't ask me how I know and don't tell her I told you lol. BUT it does eliminate a lot of them. And the ones I do watch the girls are always ratchet ass fuck with weird ass bodies. They're either built like a 12 year old boy or one big mac away from being obese calling herself thick. Girl if you don't take your big ass to BBW...It's like they just randomly started pulling bitches off the street. I have some faves tho...

I love love love Lacey Duvall...even if she went and got what appears to be ass shots on me:/ All I'm gonna say is when she did that scene with Pinky a while back in the blue fishnet getup she was pretty small...then I saw her do a scene with this dude where she was wearing purple fishnet thingies and her ass just looked...off...and not in a oh I just gained some weight and it just happened to go to my ass type way either. But that's all Ima say about that...She has an AMAZING rack...I'm low key jealous of it. I wonder if she went and had a revision tho cause they looked kinds bigger in that same video and we all know she has augmented breasts anyways...Her face is also easy on the yes she doesn't have that ratchet look to her whatsoever.

We got Jemini too. I first saw her in a threesome scene with Roxy Reynolds and some dude...She's also easy on the eyes. Ehh I like Roxy but I don't go looking for scenes with her specifically in it...The first scene I saw her in she was screaming bloody murder and it turned me the fuck off I had to mute that shit.

I also like Jada Fire...too bad she retired this year:/














GIRL GIRL PORN
Probably will always be my fave. It's just something I've never engaged in myself so it's exciting to watch. UNLESS it's just them eating each other out. It gets boring reaaaaaal quick like can you bitches do anything else?! I can only watch you spit on her cooch and finger her so many times before I get mad. I like skinny chicks with big ass tittays. small waists, and somewhat of an ass. You don't have to be able to suffocate your partner if you sit on their face tho, just a little something....But yeah there's gotta be some scissoring or some toys involved. If there's none of that what the fuck am I watching for? I'm tryna live out a fantasy here and oral sex and fingering are NOT included in that fantasy. I have no interest whatsoever in going down on another girl, never look a gift horse in the asshole. And I can get a dude to finger and eat me out so...it's gotta be something a man isn't capable of. Except when it comes to straps. If I found me a bad ass chick I'd let her strap me down. Especially if she had nice boobs. While Pinky is def a lil bigger than I like em her and Sasha Grey gets down on the straps I'd both let them give it to me...but enough about me lol
I know what I like and I really don't have too many complaints about GG porn. Except when a pretty girl has a bush:( insta buzz kill.

I also had a question about the consistency of semen...I've seen it shoot onto a girl's face and land like silly putty or a squishy booger and it just looks nasty. I can just imagine a guy cumming in my mouth and it's sticking to my gums or the roof of my mouth AFTER I swallow. I like mine kinda runny as gross as it may sound. I only swallow with what's his face and his is kinda runny. I just notice it goes down better...but that could be because I like his sex so much that I just do it as a courtesy. But there are some guys that just make me instantly gag as soon as it hits my mouth. Sorry if you think the faces I make or the fact I immediately spit that shit out hurts your feelings but oh well...it also makes clean up easier. If I can feel it running down wherever I can clean it up instead of putting my pants on and feeling it all slimy across my ass and jeans. Or worse, have to tell my mom it's just dried drool when I miss a spot on my face. Or even worse than that having it in MY HAIR. I will cut your balls off if you nut in my hair.Go anywhere else but my eyes and hair.

Anyways...it's getting late and I'm sexually frustrated. I'm probably going to watch some porn and handle business and pretend that it helps. When all I really want is for him to stop acting like such a douche bag asshole and just be able to have fun sex again. Because I can't find anyone else who does it like him. Believe me I've tried ad I'm getting more and more discouraged with all these failed missions...

The CraigsList blog is taking a little longer than expected. I finished my part but Curly Fries is determined to get a real girl to respond to him, so we'll see what happens lol

Sexsomniac ruined out little measley ass once a month bang session. I'm sad. I think he got back with his ex but I don't want to feel like a hussy and ask him to fork over some peen, He has my number and if he wants it he has it. But damnit...

Miss Sixxxty, your lonely ass sexually frustrated freak of the industryy

I Just Gave...

...the longest blow job of my life. I was just feelin' generous one night so I called this guy up (no nickname as of yet). He's just fun to fuck around with, albeit if he isn't always available (booooooo). He told me he only had 20 minutes to spare and I'm thinkin' "too easy" so he slides the seat back and I go to town. 24 minutes later I'm like "Don't you need to go?" and he tells me to just keep going. It's like every time he would tell me "Just like that...keep it just like thaaaast" my jaw would start aching. Switching between licking and sucking just got too damn tiring at one point I was thinkin I know it's past his bedtime. I told him I was gonna try to go for a record and he decided to take that as a personal challenge to see how long he could keep from busting. I was bent in so many odd positions trying to get in a comfortable oral giving position that I woke up the next day feeling like I had gotten violated by a horse when I didn't even have sex. After an hour he finally came. Better late than never I say!
SEXSOMNIAC MAKES HIS TRIUMPHANT RETURN
We hadn't been seeing much of each other lately because we have been off doing our own things. One morning at like 4:30 a.m. I get a phone call from him. Half asleep I answer the phone and he screams "THIS IS A BOOTY CALL. WAKE UPPPPP. REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WENT TO THE CASINO AND I LOST 200 BUCKS? I DIDN'T EVEN REALLY WANNA HAVE SEX THAT NIGHT BUT I STILL ASKED ANYWAYS. REMEMBER WHEN YOU RAPED ME?? YEAH, YOU OWE ME. SO BRING THAT ASS." Anything else sir? After a little back and forth I made my way over to east jesus nowhere (with the promise of going straight to sleep right after). This was before gas prices started fucking us in the ass again. I get there and the big dude that tried spooning with me the first time we had sex was there and so was that stupid ass cunt that tried molesting me when he thought I was passed out. We just sat around talking for a minute and then we decided to head off to bed.
We're layin in bed making small talk and somehow he pushed me out the bed! Then he elbowed me and I wasn't sure if this was a form of foreplay or if he was just being a drunken idiot.
Me: Keep it up and I'm gonna kick your ass.
Sexsomniac: No you won't...because you love me like a brother.
Me: ..............please don't say that before we have sex. It's kinda creepy...
Sexsomniac: Okay well you love me like a good friend.
Much better...I roll over and start kissing him and he starts pulling at my sweats. The thing I like about having sex with him is he likes kissing. Kissing before sex is very underrated. And on the contrary, just because you kiss me during sex doesn't mean I'm going to all of a sudden catch feelings for you. It's just one of those things I like during sex. Now, kissing and there isn't and sex involved is another story (unless I'm drunk...but I can't remember JUST drunkenly making out with someone...). Anyways, we get undressed, he grabbed on my fanny, pulled out the jammie, and killed the punani (kinda) *in my Ice Cube voice*
SIDEBAR: Punani and fanny are one of those words I hate
I started out on top, riding him a little bit...but it's been so long since I've been on top IN A BED that the mattress wasn't firm enough and I couldn't get into a groove. Car sex will do that to you. I got off and we started spooning. It's so weird, cause his dick isn't the biggest (it ain't the smallest either) but he can still hit certain spots. Every time he thrusted I'd bend over a lil more until I folded like a lawn chair. I got bored after a while so I pushed him back and told him to get on his knees. I bent down in front of him and started throwin' it back at him. And I don't mean where I'm on all fours rocking my entire body into him. Dancing at the strip club has taught me to work my hips and ass in ways I didn't know capable. I was pitching a lot of ass and he was catching just as good. Felt great EXCEPT the way my ass was going back and forth reminded me of a jello mold on a plate I felt like my ass was about to slide the fuck off my body. I hate that feeling but when I looked back at him the look on his face said he was enjoying the fuck outta that shit, so I continued. He took over after a while and I just stuffed my head under a pillow to muffle myself, but you could still hear *clap, clap, clap, clap*. I heard the two dudes down the hall laughing and I couldn't figure out if they could hear us or if they were laughing about something else. But that wasn't gonna stop me from getting my issue handled, no ma'am. He's really the only guy who's ever gotten close to making me feel the way Happenis did but it is obviously not the same AT ALL...that man needs to hurry up and bring his ass BACK.
He finally busts, and as we're cleaning up and getting dressed we're having a convo like we didn't just have sex. We go rejoin the boys, play a quick game of beer pong and I decide I'd rather go to sleep in my own bed. As I get ready to leave he asks me where I'm going and I say I'm going home.
Sexsomniac: REAL! So you're just gonna leave huh...hit it and quit it? I feel so used...
Well damn, my bad homie. And all this time I had been thinking dudes actually WANTED me to leave after sex. Smh. lol
SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO ADDRESS
Don't text me asking if I want the dick and when I say yes say "That's nice". You woke me up out my sleep, made me horny and shut me down in a matter of 5 minutes. I hate your life. Don't text me again.
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING...
The Rain Check man still ain't tryna let a bish be great and cash that shit in...we see each other here and there and we're friendly so I don't know what the deal is.
Sex. When it's good it's great. When it's bad it's still pretty good.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

When I Tell You Guys...

...that I just received the best head of my fucking life...like this shit was life changing...i swear I just want to share the awesome news with any and everyone that will listen but for obvi reasons ill keep my trap shut about him...my town is way too small...but this shit...was AMAZEBALLS. I mean he was a great kisser to start off with (no busted lip or engulfing my mouth within his...) Gentle when he needed to be, and gently nibbling on my bottom lip not trying to rip it off like a baby wildebeast. I hopped in his lap and kept at it, and he picked me up and carried me from the couch to the bed (FINALLY got manhandled!!). He went from kissing me, to kissing my neck (drools) then he sat up, took his shirt (what a lovelyyy sight) and took my pants off. When he just dove down there no questions asked I was a lil surprised but man oh man did he go. To. Fucking. TOWN. He slid the panties to the side and worked it a lil bit...then just took em completely off and enjoyed himself some 4th meal. I'm pretty sure he serenaded GiGi with a song and she liked it. A lot. Just an amazing combo of licks, sucks and those FANGASSS my god...he doesn't just ram them in there either he knows how a vagina is built and works so he does the whole "come hither" thing with his fingers and just assaults the fuck out my gspot. I was almost worried I was going to glaze him! I kept running so he hoofed his arms around my legs and buried himself in my thighs...YES MA'AM YES LAWD!!! I dont think I can go on about his grade A head game enough. Fuck what the rest of these little boys were doing...i thought I was getting good head my entire sexual life until he fell into my lap. Before I wasn't ever big on head, if you were a giver no then great if not I wasn't tripping either way but THAT shit right there...i would LOVE that shit all the time.

Oh, and trust and believe I gladly returned the favor. I sucked his dick like my life depended on it. Had to show my gratitude lol...

Unfortunately had to take a rain check on the sex:/ but I am waiting to cash it in...whenever he's ready;)

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

So Not Worth The Wait:/

Okay yes yes I know I have been gone since my whole blow out with that bitch but I'm better now. In a sense. He's still an asshole. But I still wanna ride him like a pony. And I'll explain why. I have struck out 5 FUCKING TIMES since I've met him. FIVE. Well, four and a half because this last time we didn't even get past oral. I feel I am being punished for something. I just have to accept the fact that that bitch's dick was custom made by God himself for Miss GiGi. I have never met a more compatible sex partner than that bitch. Never. The Big Bang came real close but we only spent that weekend together. I spent over a year with that bitch. Can't really compare the two. So. With that being said, it's not that I'm not trying to find someone else because damnit, I am! It's just the people I find suck. And not in a good way. I can't help if he just instinctively knows what I like, like we've never had a bad sexual encounter (except this last time but that was because of the whole fight thing. Can't do the whole angry sex thing). Can't say that for everyone else, i.e. the dude with the small dick that fucks like a rabbit who gave me all the hickies, the dude who thought he was seriously throwing my back out, my work spouse (I don't even wanna go there...), the whole birthday sex fiasco from last year, and last night.

I have had the most severe crush on this boy since like the 8th grade. I thought he was sooooo damn adorable but nothing came of it. He never gave me the time of day, never looked at me twice. Like I was a cool person to hang out with on the bus ride home or in class, but that was it. I seriously pined for that man, so much so he used to be the password to all my various accounts. I can type that man's name in my sleep. Here I am, damn near 8 years later and I would occasionally say hi to him on facebook. One day he posted he needs a drink or he wants to go to the bar or some shit. Now that I'm FINALLY of drinking age I said "sounds yummy" Once I hit send I had a message from him.

"Wanna hit up a bar? I haven't seen you in years"

Yeah I'd like to believe my boobs had nothing to do with it...but yeah...whatever. We made a deal that if I pick him up he'll buy the drinks. Fair enough. I found it weird that he wanted me to pick him up at the gas station across from where he lived but I didn't think anything of it. We get to the bar and he buys the first round of drinks. We're just chatting and catching up, he reveals one of my friends told him I dance...that bitch...like its one thing for me to tell people but that's not your place wench! Anyways, this bar closed at 12 which was weird...I thought all bars closed at 2 but whatever. I asked what the game plan was and he asked me to drop him off in east jesus nowhere at his cousin's house. I do and when I go home he asks me why I dropped him off. Well, when I asked what you wanted to do you told me to drop you off! So we made plans to hang out the next night. Around 10ish he finally hits me up. But he' taking 20 minute intervals between responses. I'm losing steam while you take your decent time to answer my texts. How are you gonna ask me to kick it and you're taking forever to make these plans?! At 11:45 we finally got our plan into action and decided to grab something to eat.

Him: Lol whats open at 12?
Now for some reason "Denny's and legs. And I'm cool with both" seemed like a good answer at the time. Very unlady like ma'am.

We head to Denny's, eat (he paid again) and leave. Before he has me drop him off n east jesus nowhere again we stop at Cheveron so he can grab blunt wraps or whatever. He asks me if I want a drink an I'm like sure why not. I thought this was him implying we were gonna hang out at his cousin's house. And to an extent we did. When we got there we hung out in front of his cousin's house. While we sat in my car. He asked if I wanted to stay and drink or go home. Well I damn sure ain't gonna drink by myself! We drank and talked some more, and finally he asks about my boobs lol asking if they hurt an whatnot. I told him about the whole process and said he could touch them if he wanted. It first he poked them with two fingers to check how soft they were. Then he full on stuck his hand in my shirt and just kept his hand there a little TOO long. Then he asked me if I had a tongue ring, I told him I had 3 and showed him. He stuck his hand down my shirt again, didn't say anything for a minute then asked me to show him what my tongue rings felt like. I looked at him and next thing I knew he was kissing me. And by kissing, I mean sucking my face off. He had my entire mouth and chin encased in his mouth, just a lickin all over the place. I kept trying to clean him up, by sucking on his top lip so he could suck on my bottom lip, and he just wasn't getting the hint. It was so weird trying to kiss him with his mouth over mine, I tried playing with his tongue and it was just moving all over the place. THIS is what I waited 8 years for?! And he kept moaning while I was kissing him omg. I opened my eyes to be like dude wtf, then I closed them cause I didn't wanna be the weirdo who makes out with her eyes open. Did I mention he was moaning the whole time? Finally he lets my face breathe and he pulls his dick out. It was like a light shined down from the heavens thru my sunroof. It was big and CUT *insert praise dance here* All I could say was WOW. Then I realized he expected us to fuck in my car. I feel some type of way about having sex back there because of all the back seat action that went down with that bitch...that's like his spot. He's marked his territory all up an down back there...Idk its weird...anyways he decides its time to start bobbing for apples.

I. CANNOT. STAND. When dudes put their hand on the back of my head during oral, as if I need any more encouragement. He wouldn't even let me push the hair out of my face! Ol' eager ass beaver...Ima start using my teeth from now on when men do that shit. Let me do my shit damnit!!!
I gave him head for about a minute, we stopped, I think he asked about condoms, we sat there for a minute, and we went back to making out. Now, I've kissed dudes after giving them head, but never like a full blown make out session. He grabbed my hand and placed it on the side of his face, like we were in a movie. Alright sir if that's what you like I got you. If he's comfortable then so am I. Then I go back to giving him head. He slides his hand in my pants and while I'm giving head he's like doing this weird fluttering shit with his fingers, like not on my clit or even trying to enter me, just rubbing them against the lips making things unnecessarily messy. The song on the radio wasn't even over before he came I sucked his dick for like 2 minutes before he came. I could barely taste it but I knew it. I just tried to suck him dry so he'd get off my head. After that little performance...I pretended to look for a condom. Popped my trunk, got out and spit that shit OUT. Could not bring myself to swallow it. It wasn't the same as when I used to swallow with that bitch, I actually kinda liked doing it cause in my head at least he liked it. So I got back in the car and said I didn't have one and started downing my drink like Listerine. I asked why he didn't get any at the gas station and he didn't say anything, he was just trippin that he didn't have one on him and how he didn't wanna bother his cousin for one. Or something. I told him I wouldn't have tripped if he had one on him on some "Oh, you just think you're gonna get lucky tonight huh?!" shit I would've rather you carried one than not. So we ended the night there.

He wants to go out again tonight, but I'm just like ehhh...I'm not fucking in my car. I at least need to know if you're good in bed before we start throwing other obstacles into the mix. Not everyone is a master in back seat action...and it sucks that I have to compare everyone else to that bitch but until someone surprises me I have no choice! If you're good in bed I can work with you in the back seat. If you're bad in bed I doubt a back seat is gonna help your case boo:/

Next blog I do shall be about the amazing drought ending from earlier this month...I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't give my imaginary left nut to fuck him again. I think if we don't say shit to each other, just meet up, get naked, fuck and leave we could make it work!

Blahh...I swear if shit doesn't start looking up soon I will die a born again virgin. Because if this is what my sex life has in store for me...

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy