People are assholes. Plain and simple. Some people don't even have the decency to treat you like a fucking human being. But I guess I have no one to blame but myself for this right? Always getting mixed up with the wrong people. I guess this means I have to go aaaaaaaall the way the fuck back to square one, back to when I didn't have sex for 6 months. Maybe something different will actually come of it this time. Something nice for once. As it stands right now I haven't wanted to have sex with ANYONE, and because I don't go out and everyone I work with is pretty much ugly, I don't have any other options, except maybe myself...and I hate that option. But in the meantime and in between times, what ever shall I write about? I can't seem to have NSA sex with someone without losing interest in 2 months...my life is boring...and I don't wanna whine about all the sex I Could be having that I'm not again. Hmm....
Currently stuck in a rut where I don't wanna do anything but catch up on Breaking Bad and watching Flavor Of Love reruns. Haven't put on makeup for work like I normally do, the gym seems like such a drag now...maybe I should start taking a kickboxing class. So that way when I see you I can (at least attempt) to whoop your ass. Maybe that'll make me feel a lil better lol. No more Girls reruns, no more Adam Sackler reminding me how shitty my situation is, no more Sailing Souls. Shit I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE.
You guys will probably think I'm gay for posting this but whatev.
Pretty much sums up everything. To a fucking T.
Shit, I don't know I'll figure the shit out.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy.
P.S. AND STOP READING MY SHIT ASSUMING EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ON MY SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE? DON'T WORRY ABOUT WTF I BE DOIN MKAY? THANKS IN ADVANCE.
Showing posts with label All Up In My Feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label All Up In My Feelings. Show all posts
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Been Gone For A Minute...
...Now I'm back with the jump off. Nah but really...I have missed blogging like A LOT A LOT so i figure I can catch everyone up on what's been going on and shit I do and don't like and whatever else I feel like rambling about today.
So waaaaaaaay back I told you I had sex with this black dude. And it was kinda nice. But lo and behold he is just a piece of shit human being. For the simple fact that he not only had sex with me with no intentions of keeping this on a casual basis (despite what he originally said) he did it the night before he went on a date with his now baby mama to be. Just TRIFLIN. And I wasn't even the one sexually pursuing him! I would've just been cool staying friends and telling him all my man problems but noooo. He'd rather risk a friendship over some pussy. Smh. I was pissed because he knew this the whole time and we were good friends prior to the whole sex thing which makes me feel like he played me as his friend. And you don't play your friends. Lol.
Then there's Sexsomniac's bitch ass. Everything was cool with him...then I met this guy I thought I was really starting to like so I just kinda stopped replying to his late night drunk texts, because in some odd way I felt guilty. And plus I didn't wanna tell him we can't have sex because of another dude, because if shit doesn't work out with said dude (which it ISN'T) I didn't wanna lose out on my clutch! Well, we all know how he likes to bring me around his lady friends (like a dumb ass). I mean SERIOUSLY. What do you call a dude who brings his fuck buddy (I really hate that term.....trying to come up with a better word for it lol) around every one of his new girlfriends when the both of you already know he's going to cheat? And I mean he wastes no time. There's never a relationship nesting period with him. He will have gotten with the bitch the day before and still hit me up talking about "Let's have sex". Bitch. NO. Go away. This shit is beYOND old by now and I'm over the shit. Oh, and now the chick he isn't dating but calls him babe and posts pics on ig with, I work with her. Sir, your dick is not good enough to lose my job over.
Oh yeah. I have a "regular" job now. It sucks donkey dick. Corporate america, direct deposit, uncle sam, bi-weekly paychecks and everything can kiss my hi yella ass, btw. I hate this life. I wish there was a popular club that wasn't a million miles away that I could work at because I am not adjusting to the normal life very well. I feel poor as fuck. And that is not a good feeling! I like, NEED to finish school and become a coroner already because I like to have nice things and I don't like having to budget. First world problems, poor me:(
Anyways, It's taken everything inside of me not to call him out around his bitch. Some days I wish I was a messy ass hoodrat...but I'm not . So I be quiet. But when he leave........best believe I be talkin again.
Then there was the Puerto Rican. Everything was lovely, the head was great, the sex was great, the weed was great EVERYTHING WAS GREAT. Then one day we were hanging out and I just looked at him and thought, "You know, I don't think I really like you!" and the shit went downhill from there. I started not wanting to hang out with our friends together, because I hated the idea of showing up WITH him. Like here THEY come. As if we're a package deal. I'm my own person, as is he, and that's that. I felt like the less I was starting to like him the more he started to like me, which was a shitty sitchy within itself. Now that whole "It's not you, it's me" cliche makes a ton of fucking sense! Because he literally didn't do anything! Then I started to loathe the idea of us having sex. And essentially that was all this was anyways so once the sex stops being fun...I mean when you get to a point where you don't even want them giving you head...like this shit goes DEEP. I feel like such a horrible person. But you shouldn't have to force things right?
Please don't hold my hand after sex.
Please don't ever fucking call what we do LOVE MAKING. EVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Don't give my vag any goofy ass 4 year old names. We're fucking grown. And that shit is kinda creepy.
Unless I pursue you fully knowing you have a gf...don't bother fucking talking to me.
Have you ever just been disgusted by a person you used to like a lot? Like the idea of them pointing their erection even remotely in your direction makes you queasy? No..? Just me? Fuuuuuuh.
I find out everything. I'm one cunning sneaky ass bitch.
I'm kinda semi involuntarily celibate right now, which sucks. But then again you know me, I don't settle.
My mechanic is harrassing me again. Mind you I only hung out with him once on my birthday like two years ago. And all we did was drive around town. I mean why are you randomly calling me at 4 in the afternoon? Shouldn't you be working? And stop sending me requests on fb!
When I stop fucking with you I really stop fucking with you. DO yourself a favor and just stop trying. You're only making it harder on yourself, and I'm trying to be nice here
I really miss my vertical clit hood piercing. Like a lot a lot.
I had sex for a week straight. Did not end well. Some people are better suited for sex once a week, or every other week. Once a day is too much stress for some people's bodies. Not mine.
I have had the weirdest reoccurring fantasy about anal. I've done it like twice not too long ago...and I kinda wanna do it more than once in a blue moon.
Be a man with me. Grab your balls and fucking assert yourself. Don't be a fucking pussy. One thing I hate is a weak man. I like manly men. That know how to man handle me. I hate passive aggressive dudes.
Do guys ask for butthole pics? Do girls randomly send them? I need answers.
I'm not a nympho.
OHandihadsexwithhappenisliketwiceanditwasamazingbothtimesdontjudgemekbye.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
So waaaaaaaay back I told you I had sex with this black dude. And it was kinda nice. But lo and behold he is just a piece of shit human being. For the simple fact that he not only had sex with me with no intentions of keeping this on a casual basis (despite what he originally said) he did it the night before he went on a date with his now baby mama to be. Just TRIFLIN. And I wasn't even the one sexually pursuing him! I would've just been cool staying friends and telling him all my man problems but noooo. He'd rather risk a friendship over some pussy. Smh. I was pissed because he knew this the whole time and we were good friends prior to the whole sex thing which makes me feel like he played me as his friend. And you don't play your friends. Lol.
Then there's Sexsomniac's bitch ass. Everything was cool with him...then I met this guy I thought I was really starting to like so I just kinda stopped replying to his late night drunk texts, because in some odd way I felt guilty. And plus I didn't wanna tell him we can't have sex because of another dude, because if shit doesn't work out with said dude (which it ISN'T) I didn't wanna lose out on my clutch! Well, we all know how he likes to bring me around his lady friends (like a dumb ass). I mean SERIOUSLY. What do you call a dude who brings his fuck buddy (I really hate that term.....trying to come up with a better word for it lol) around every one of his new girlfriends when the both of you already know he's going to cheat? And I mean he wastes no time. There's never a relationship nesting period with him. He will have gotten with the bitch the day before and still hit me up talking about "Let's have sex". Bitch. NO. Go away. This shit is beYOND old by now and I'm over the shit. Oh, and now the chick he isn't dating but calls him babe and posts pics on ig with, I work with her. Sir, your dick is not good enough to lose my job over.
Oh yeah. I have a "regular" job now. It sucks donkey dick. Corporate america, direct deposit, uncle sam, bi-weekly paychecks and everything can kiss my hi yella ass, btw. I hate this life. I wish there was a popular club that wasn't a million miles away that I could work at because I am not adjusting to the normal life very well. I feel poor as fuck. And that is not a good feeling! I like, NEED to finish school and become a coroner already because I like to have nice things and I don't like having to budget. First world problems, poor me:(
Anyways, It's taken everything inside of me not to call him out around his bitch. Some days I wish I was a messy ass hoodrat...but I'm not . So I be quiet. But when he leave........best believe I be talkin again.
Then there was the Puerto Rican. Everything was lovely, the head was great, the sex was great, the weed was great EVERYTHING WAS GREAT. Then one day we were hanging out and I just looked at him and thought, "You know, I don't think I really like you!" and the shit went downhill from there. I started not wanting to hang out with our friends together, because I hated the idea of showing up WITH him. Like here THEY come. As if we're a package deal. I'm my own person, as is he, and that's that. I felt like the less I was starting to like him the more he started to like me, which was a shitty sitchy within itself. Now that whole "It's not you, it's me" cliche makes a ton of fucking sense! Because he literally didn't do anything! Then I started to loathe the idea of us having sex. And essentially that was all this was anyways so once the sex stops being fun...I mean when you get to a point where you don't even want them giving you head...like this shit goes DEEP. I feel like such a horrible person. But you shouldn't have to force things right?
Please don't hold my hand after sex.
Please don't ever fucking call what we do LOVE MAKING. EVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Don't give my vag any goofy ass 4 year old names. We're fucking grown. And that shit is kinda creepy.
Unless I pursue you fully knowing you have a gf...don't bother fucking talking to me.
Have you ever just been disgusted by a person you used to like a lot? Like the idea of them pointing their erection even remotely in your direction makes you queasy? No..? Just me? Fuuuuuuh.
I find out everything. I'm one cunning sneaky ass bitch.
I'm kinda semi involuntarily celibate right now, which sucks. But then again you know me, I don't settle.
My mechanic is harrassing me again. Mind you I only hung out with him once on my birthday like two years ago. And all we did was drive around town. I mean why are you randomly calling me at 4 in the afternoon? Shouldn't you be working? And stop sending me requests on fb!
When I stop fucking with you I really stop fucking with you. DO yourself a favor and just stop trying. You're only making it harder on yourself, and I'm trying to be nice here
I really miss my vertical clit hood piercing. Like a lot a lot.
I had sex for a week straight. Did not end well. Some people are better suited for sex once a week, or every other week. Once a day is too much stress for some people's bodies. Not mine.
I have had the weirdest reoccurring fantasy about anal. I've done it like twice not too long ago...and I kinda wanna do it more than once in a blue moon.
Be a man with me. Grab your balls and fucking assert yourself. Don't be a fucking pussy. One thing I hate is a weak man. I like manly men. That know how to man handle me. I hate passive aggressive dudes.
Do guys ask for butthole pics? Do girls randomly send them? I need answers.
I'm not a nympho.
OHandihadsexwithhappenisliketwiceanditwasamazingbothtimesdontjudgemekbye.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
I'm Not Texting You First
I hate the fact that I can go from zero to annoyed in 2.5 seconds. Especially over little shit. Like shit that should be little, but I blow it up all outta proportion nshit...Still trying to figure out coitus courtesy 5 years and counting later...I hate phones. I hate the word "No." or any variation of the word out of a fwb mouth. I have determined sex will just NEVER be in the cards for me at the rate I want it. And damn my self control. That's the only thing that makes me feel a little better, knowing I'm not a sex addict. My reasoning is if I was addicted, and I'm not, but if I was I'd be cruising dark alleys for ass and letting just anyone drill me. And I don't. But then that leaves me in the position to complain all the time, I just wanna meet someone who wants sex as much as I do I say this shit til I'm literally blue in the face but outta all the fish in the sea I gotta deal with this shit. I try to ask for advice on what to do and basically the only answer I get is
"Oh why don't you just text him first? Closed mouths don't get fed"
To hell with that bullshit, okay?! I have tried that texting first bullshit and it DOESN'T WORK. I might just have the world's worst timing but even still, I shouldn't hear no as often as I do. And it's not like from people I fucked once, I've usually had sex with them more than once, which makes me wonder how they can even turn a quickie down. Why the fuck should I even have to ask in the first place? I've you've fucked me before you should know I'm literally ALWAYS down for sex. You have the penis, you know when it gets hard late at night, and you know how to get in contact with me. Since I always end up being the willing party balls basically in your court. I refuse to believe that outta everyone that none of you hoes want to have sex more than once a week/every other week. When I think about it the closest I got to some consistent peen was about once a week on weekends. Now I can't even get that. I think I had sex twice in January. TWICE. It's like coming in last place. And oh sure, I could probably broaden my horizons but shit how broad are we talking? I'm very picky with the vagine I'd really like to keep it to a minimum. Fortunately I haven't gotten desperate blah blah blah complain complain complain. THIS IS WHAT I DO I COMPLAIN AND BITCH ABOUT THE LACK OF SEX IN MY LIFE. My vag is going to shrivel up and die an old maid. I'm tired of watching porn all the fucking time and getting off alone. At least when I get off with someone I feel happy. When it's just me it's like "mmmMMMMmAAAAAAAHHHhhhhh....okay now look to your left, and look to your right. That's right, you are ALONE." and this weird sense of guilt comes over me and I close my laptop and go to sleep. What did I do in my past life? Do I need to find Rumplestilskin and promise him my first born? Drink the blood of an albino tiger? WHAT. IS. IT?!?!?!?!?!?!
This shit has to be chemical since I haven't had any "traumatic" experiences. I mean what else can explain this madness? Trust I don't wanna crave sex every hour of the damn day I wish I COULD be just happy gettin it on every few weeks or so. "You just got some last week" "SO FUCKING WHAT that was last week we're talking about today now!" Oh hey, why don't I look do Cosmo for some advice, guys give input there right? "I love when a girl texts me first it shows assertiveness and I find that sexy" *throws magazine into the fireplace* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO booooooooo your advice sucks! Then again why am I talking advice from a sex magazine who featured Dakota Fanning on the cover? I was done with Cosmo a year ago.This is the time where I bang my head mercilessly into the keyboard and roll around the ground like a wounded seal and whine about how unfair this all is. Excuse me.
I'm upset. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
"Oh why don't you just text him first? Closed mouths don't get fed"
To hell with that bullshit, okay?! I have tried that texting first bullshit and it DOESN'T WORK. I might just have the world's worst timing but even still, I shouldn't hear no as often as I do. And it's not like from people I fucked once, I've usually had sex with them more than once, which makes me wonder how they can even turn a quickie down. Why the fuck should I even have to ask in the first place? I've you've fucked me before you should know I'm literally ALWAYS down for sex. You have the penis, you know when it gets hard late at night, and you know how to get in contact with me. Since I always end up being the willing party balls basically in your court. I refuse to believe that outta everyone that none of you hoes want to have sex more than once a week/every other week. When I think about it the closest I got to some consistent peen was about once a week on weekends. Now I can't even get that. I think I had sex twice in January. TWICE. It's like coming in last place. And oh sure, I could probably broaden my horizons but shit how broad are we talking? I'm very picky with the vagine I'd really like to keep it to a minimum. Fortunately I haven't gotten desperate blah blah blah complain complain complain. THIS IS WHAT I DO I COMPLAIN AND BITCH ABOUT THE LACK OF SEX IN MY LIFE. My vag is going to shrivel up and die an old maid. I'm tired of watching porn all the fucking time and getting off alone. At least when I get off with someone I feel happy. When it's just me it's like "mmmMMMMmAAAAAAAHHHhhhhh....okay now look to your left, and look to your right. That's right, you are ALONE." and this weird sense of guilt comes over me and I close my laptop and go to sleep. What did I do in my past life? Do I need to find Rumplestilskin and promise him my first born? Drink the blood of an albino tiger? WHAT. IS. IT?!?!?!?!?!?!
This shit has to be chemical since I haven't had any "traumatic" experiences. I mean what else can explain this madness? Trust I don't wanna crave sex every hour of the damn day I wish I COULD be just happy gettin it on every few weeks or so. "You just got some last week" "SO FUCKING WHAT that was last week we're talking about today now!" Oh hey, why don't I look do Cosmo for some advice, guys give input there right? "I love when a girl texts me first it shows assertiveness and I find that sexy" *throws magazine into the fireplace* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO booooooooo your advice sucks! Then again why am I talking advice from a sex magazine who featured Dakota Fanning on the cover? I was done with Cosmo a year ago.This is the time where I bang my head mercilessly into the keyboard and roll around the ground like a wounded seal and whine about how unfair this all is. Excuse me.
I'm upset. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Freewrite.
I'm gonna take this time to just say what's on my mind right now. It may get a lil gushy so if you didn't come here today for that type of thing you don't have to read this.
So as you all know I love Adam Driver's character "Adam Sackler" on HBO's GIRLS. I am in love with a tv character. I am in love with the idea of him, that someone like him exists out there. Everything he says usually hits home for me because either I'm feeling that way or he's replaying a scenario I've already been thru. In one episode he goes to an AA meeting because he feels like he's been slacking on them. He makes this speech that makes me sad:
"I had this girlfriend who at first i didn't like very much, or i didn't take her very seriously i guess. She just seemed like you know - piece of ass. She was PERSISTENT man...and she just hung around and hung around and showed up at my place and gradually it started to feel better when she was there. Wasn't love the way i imagined it - I just felt weird if i didn't know what she was up to or whatever and i like knowing that she was just gonna BE there and warm and staying the night. She acted like i was teaching her EVERYTHING...about history and sex....i showed her. And i wanted that chance to show someone everything. But she changed her mind about me and it was that fast."
The first half reminds me of how things used to be, like the way i felt he thought of me. The middle reminds me of how I started feeling about him. The end reminds me of the last time I spoke to him with me being on the other end of the situation. It makes me think about things I wanna get over, but just quite haven't yet. I feel stupid for being a girl about this. Like this has never happened to me before, when it comes to sex everything was just smooth fucking sailing. Sure I'd still get mad when they were dicks but the only difference here was when they were dicks the first time around I'd peace them out and not look back with any problems. I don't know why this douche bag was so different. I didn't see myself falling for him until it was too late....this is really starting to sound like a romantic novel that some middle aged housewife would be reading in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. I HATE that. Mushy gushy romance stuff isn't me. That's why I'm so fucking confused.
The worst past is, is that I didn't just fall on my own. Aside from celebrity obsessions when you fall for someone you usually fall because they give you some sort of sign that hey they may like you too. I'm not an idiot. I wouldn't call someone i didn't like babe or hell i wouldn't even wanna flirt and hang out when we're not having sex. I would just say he showed signs he shouldn't have if he didn't either have feelings or want the girl to think he did and send her mixed signals. But mixed signals is what I got and I fell for the fucking okie doke. And got screwed in the end.
Now he's been gone since last year and I'm trying to just do other stuff and think about him as little as possible. But I still think about him sometimes. I wonder if he's gonna come back, because that's what I'm used to. Then I try to remind myself "No he's not coming back so move on". I think of some good times then tell myself he's a horrible person and whatnot. I ask if he ever thinks about me, even just a little and I have no fucking idea why. I thought I was good til I saw him at the gym. We live like 5 minutes away from each other and know most of the same people so I knew I'd have to see him EVENTUALLY, but I never knew when or how I'd feel at the time. When I saw him I had a fucking anxiety attack. It happened before I completely realized what was happening. I tried to finish my workout making sure to stay away, but I just wasn't feeling it. When I passed him up he avoided making eye contact and when he came in the sauna when I was already there he made sure to sit all the way in the back while his friend sat in front of me. I can act like it's not awkward and that it doesn't bother me but it does. I feel like I didn't do anything wrong to be treated like that. I have no idea how I managed to fall for a person who could be so mean. I can't even pinpoint what's making this all so difficult which in turn does not help me feel better. Like I can't fix something if I don't know what's broken! These are all weak words, words of a bitch. This makes me so mad because I don't know how to dead this shit already. I'm having a mental block right now. I just don't know anything about anything anymore. Everything is just all kinds of fucked. Now I would never ever even consider suicide over a broken heart be it him or someone in my future but now I know why some people do that shit. This shit is NOT FUN some days it can seem unbearable. Some days I don't even know how people who got over this did. I just try to tell myself that I'm okay, and there's someone better out there or whatever. And have fun in the meantime. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I mean it sucks to feel shitty but it's just a part of life. And life moves on.
I'm just honestly over feeling like this I want to feel repulsed when I think about him already.
I'm gonna go watch some Netflix and think on it. Since that's pretty much the only thing I can do. merp:/
Miss Sixxxty, wants to go to sleep.
So as you all know I love Adam Driver's character "Adam Sackler" on HBO's GIRLS. I am in love with a tv character. I am in love with the idea of him, that someone like him exists out there. Everything he says usually hits home for me because either I'm feeling that way or he's replaying a scenario I've already been thru. In one episode he goes to an AA meeting because he feels like he's been slacking on them. He makes this speech that makes me sad:
"I had this girlfriend who at first i didn't like very much, or i didn't take her very seriously i guess. She just seemed like you know - piece of ass. She was PERSISTENT man...and she just hung around and hung around and showed up at my place and gradually it started to feel better when she was there. Wasn't love the way i imagined it - I just felt weird if i didn't know what she was up to or whatever and i like knowing that she was just gonna BE there and warm and staying the night. She acted like i was teaching her EVERYTHING...about history and sex....i showed her. And i wanted that chance to show someone everything. But she changed her mind about me and it was that fast."
The first half reminds me of how things used to be, like the way i felt he thought of me. The middle reminds me of how I started feeling about him. The end reminds me of the last time I spoke to him with me being on the other end of the situation. It makes me think about things I wanna get over, but just quite haven't yet. I feel stupid for being a girl about this. Like this has never happened to me before, when it comes to sex everything was just smooth fucking sailing. Sure I'd still get mad when they were dicks but the only difference here was when they were dicks the first time around I'd peace them out and not look back with any problems. I don't know why this douche bag was so different. I didn't see myself falling for him until it was too late....this is really starting to sound like a romantic novel that some middle aged housewife would be reading in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. I HATE that. Mushy gushy romance stuff isn't me. That's why I'm so fucking confused.
The worst past is, is that I didn't just fall on my own. Aside from celebrity obsessions when you fall for someone you usually fall because they give you some sort of sign that hey they may like you too. I'm not an idiot. I wouldn't call someone i didn't like babe or hell i wouldn't even wanna flirt and hang out when we're not having sex. I would just say he showed signs he shouldn't have if he didn't either have feelings or want the girl to think he did and send her mixed signals. But mixed signals is what I got and I fell for the fucking okie doke. And got screwed in the end.
Now he's been gone since last year and I'm trying to just do other stuff and think about him as little as possible. But I still think about him sometimes. I wonder if he's gonna come back, because that's what I'm used to. Then I try to remind myself "No he's not coming back so move on". I think of some good times then tell myself he's a horrible person and whatnot. I ask if he ever thinks about me, even just a little and I have no fucking idea why. I thought I was good til I saw him at the gym. We live like 5 minutes away from each other and know most of the same people so I knew I'd have to see him EVENTUALLY, but I never knew when or how I'd feel at the time. When I saw him I had a fucking anxiety attack. It happened before I completely realized what was happening. I tried to finish my workout making sure to stay away, but I just wasn't feeling it. When I passed him up he avoided making eye contact and when he came in the sauna when I was already there he made sure to sit all the way in the back while his friend sat in front of me. I can act like it's not awkward and that it doesn't bother me but it does. I feel like I didn't do anything wrong to be treated like that. I have no idea how I managed to fall for a person who could be so mean. I can't even pinpoint what's making this all so difficult which in turn does not help me feel better. Like I can't fix something if I don't know what's broken! These are all weak words, words of a bitch. This makes me so mad because I don't know how to dead this shit already. I'm having a mental block right now. I just don't know anything about anything anymore. Everything is just all kinds of fucked. Now I would never ever even consider suicide over a broken heart be it him or someone in my future but now I know why some people do that shit. This shit is NOT FUN some days it can seem unbearable. Some days I don't even know how people who got over this did. I just try to tell myself that I'm okay, and there's someone better out there or whatever. And have fun in the meantime. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I mean it sucks to feel shitty but it's just a part of life. And life moves on.
I'm just honestly over feeling like this I want to feel repulsed when I think about him already.
I'm gonna go watch some Netflix and think on it. Since that's pretty much the only thing I can do. merp:/
Miss Sixxxty, wants to go to sleep.
Monday, January 21, 2013
The Day Dick Drove Me Insane
And I'm not even kidding you right now. Like mental breakdown status. I think I'm mentally unstable lol. But lemme go on ahead and set the scene for you.
So I've been lusting after my old boss for some time now. When he worked at the club I'd flirt with him a little bit, but nothing too serious because he was my boss and I didn't wanna be THAT bitch, and because he had a girlfriend. But then he stopped working there and I would text him and see how he was doing and stuff. And one day he finally got me to admit that I wanted to fuck the shit out of him. Ad he responded by telling me he wanted the same. Yay! Only problem was he lived in east jesus nowhere and he lives with his girlfriend. When I go down to work I don't stay alone so it's not like I could invite him over. What's a girl to do? One time he did ask if he was to invite me over what would I do and I told him don't tempt me, but nothing happened. Finally after all the "I just wanna fuck you/eat you/please you" texts I got fed up. My sexual frustrations were getting the best of me. I confronted him and asked him if I scared him or was too aggressive for him (since that's what I keep hearing). He said maybe, maybe not and I told him all my lusting after him was getting me nowhere. Then it happened.
"Lol it will don't worry. So here's the thing I have a gf now. I still want you nonetheless will that change things for u"
Now before you guys start getting all judgey judgey lemme defend myself for a minute lol. I don't go actively pursuing guys with girlfriends. For the most part I don't even know they exist til further down the line. It just kinda happens that way they seem to be drawn to me. Most of the time if you come at me and I know you have a gf I get immediately turned off and start screen capping texts, just in case. BUT. There are certain exceptions. If I'm just drawn to you and you actively pursue me and I find out you have a gf then I tend to reconsider. Especially if you acknowledge the fact that you have a gf but still want me. Because at that point we have way too much sexual tension between us for me not to do it. But that's rare. And this happens to be one of those rare cases. Shit if you don't care and you're the one in the relationship why should I? But what about the gf? Have you no shame? Well. Yeah that sucks for her. And the roles can easily be reversed. But at the end of the day whether I fuck them or not if a guy wants to cheat he's going to cheat be it with me or anyone else. Now I wouldn't do this to any girl I knew personally, but if I don't know her from a can of paint then....Of course you guys are probably still shaking your head to which I say this is my life not yours you are just reading about it lol. It makes complete sense to me...
Back on topic tho, I told him not really, because in my mind I had already made the decision to fuck him, whether he was gonna give it up willingly or if I was gonna have to take it. We agreed to meet up the next day when he had some free time. I was too juiced. I now know how guys feel when they finally bag that girl that they've been chasing after forever. It feels great! He told me to meet him at 10, and I got to his city at 9:58ish. Not wanting to look overly eager I parked in a 7-11 parking lot, ate my last edible and waited for it to start kicking in before I called him. I texted him good morning around 10:40 and asked him what he was doing and he wasn't even at home! He was getting a hair cut. Guess I took too long. But he was on his way back and told me to meet him at his house. I drove over there and I saw him walking down the street. Now he's like 2 years younger than me but when I saw him he looked like a little boy! I started having second thoughts and I was like bitch stop tryna psych yourself out you've been wanting this for months. I park the car and he meets me at the door. We sat and caught up a little bit, he told me what he'd been up to since he left and I told him everything that was going on at work. Around 11:50ish he asked me how my edibles were making me feel. Told him I felt nice. He asked how do they make sex feel and I said amazing. I was starting to get worried he was gonna chicken out because we hadn't talked about anything sexual since I had been there, except why they call me Tits McGee. He looked at his phone and said "So it's 12 o'clock now. I have a soccer game at 2:30, that gives us about 2 & 1/2 hours. Do you want it?" Idk why but when he asked me if I wanted it it was just a turn on. I nodded my head and he said "Do you want it right now?" Nodded again. He asked if I wanted it in the bedroom or living room and I told him I didn't care as long as he gave it to me. He chose the bedroom and I followed him. I stood in front of the bed and he immediately came up behind me and bent me over the bed. I took my jacket off while he tried to pull my sweats off. I had to untie them first and he just ripped the shit off. I was on my stomach and he started to lick and kiss my butt and I panicked a bit because I wasn't sure if he was trying to eat my ass or eat me from the back. All I know is I'm not about that ass eating life just yet so I rolled over. Oh btw, I vajazzled my vag, dk if he noticed or not, but my rhinestone heart didn't last long at all:( He got down on his knees and spread my legs open and went to town. Now at first he was only licking like the top and I thought "Oh my god he doesn't know what he's doing" but maybe he was just teasing cause he finally went a lil lower and DAYUM. I just kept saying this isn't real. This isn't real! Oh but it was and it was great. He would spread my legs hella far so I didn't have much wiggle room and the only thing I could do was run. Then he dragged me by my legs back to the edge of the bed, got on top and started kissing my neck. Mmmm. He sat up and played with my clit with one hand and started putting on a condom with the other. You nimble man you. He grabbed me by my legs and stuck it in. I'm so mad I was high because I didn't even pay attention to his dick, but regardless it was still good. First my legs were draped over his arms, then he grabbed me by my ankles, then he put my legs together to one side. Yes, yes, yes. Good boy. Then he pushed my legs to the side of the bed so I was in like an L shape, and I wanted him to his from the back so I rolled over onto my knees. I threw it back on him and he was tellin me how good I felt and I was like "I know" and then he took over. He spanked me for a bit and then he would do those damn death strokes. Love those. He turned me back over, went down on me again, and I couldn't do shit but say his name repeatedly. He got back on top and put my legs on his shoulders and just drilled me. He asked if I liked it and I said mmhmm and then he got off and I got back on my knees. The way he was giving it to me was exactly what I needed because I haven't gotten it like that since...October 13th. One thing that did catch me off guard was when he grabbed me by my bra strap and told me to squeeze my P on his dick. That was a first but I did what I was told. When I told him I was about to cum he fucked me harder and every time he thrusted he would say "cum. Cum. CUM." And I liked that lol. He finally pulled out and I couldn't feel my legs. When my mind came back I realized I didn't give him head. While it was dope that he didn't ask or anything I would've liked to have showcased my skills too! It's not every day someone gets a blow job from a bitch with 3 tongue rings. He laid down next to me and told me I was really flexible. I told him I wasn't cause I couldn't bust a full split and then he went on a tangent about the different stages of flexibleness (Flex, flexy, and flexible. His words not mine) and told me I was flexy. Then he started talking about ugly people and I just zoned out. HE got up and got dressed, and I took that as my cue to get dressed too. I was hoping that wasn't he end of the festivities but he hit me with that "Oh, my friends should be on their way soon.....so.....yeah." Lol he said he had to call his gf back too and not to say anything. Well no shit Sherlock! I made sure to go get what was left of my vajazzle out the room and I told him bye and went to my car.
Overall I was happy with his performance. Now I see why he gets so frustrated with the fact his girl won't put out anymore. A guy like that NEEDS to fuck at least 3 times a day. I'd def be happy to oblige him on that. BUT that was the problem. We only had sex one time for like 20 mins/half an hour and already it was time to go. I expected to get fucked at least a couple times while I was there. He was the one saying how he needed it more than one time and how long he could go for. Not to mention it took me an hr to get to his place! (Not a word.). So here I was, happy I just got some good dick but mad I wasn't getting any more. I was telling myself "My life can't be like this! This sucks!!! Why me!?" Why I was talking to myself I have no idea. I was pretty high in an unfamiliar area and I had an hr drive to get back to my friend's house so I started freaking out. I called my friend and immediately started rambling to her. I told her I just fucked my old boss and it was great and I wanted to cry. She asked me why I wanted to cry and then I did and I was like I don't know what's wrong with me!!! Here I am driving down the street high af with this ugly ass cry face stuck on. I know people thought I was crazy. I almost started to say I missed the Antichrist but stopped myself...and I think I went on a tangent about how I deserved to have a good sex life because I was a good person or something to that effect. She would remember better than I did. But that was just sad. Sad sad sad. Like I think I associate good sex with him too much because when I tried to replay what had just happened I found myself saying the Antichrist's name but still picturing El Capitan. Weirrrrrd.
Nonetheless, I still wanted to see him again. But seeing as to he had a gf I decided I wouldn't text him just yet. Therein lies another problem. Should I text him and tell him I liked it? Should I wait for him to text me first? What if he's waiting on me to tell him it was good? And if I do decide to text him first how long do I wait?! It's gonna be tricky tryna guestimate when he's away from her so we can talk about it...but then it could go like that one bitch who after I finally mustered enough courage up to ask for another round told me "Maybe if you play your cards right." And he was single. That shit pissed me off all over again. I came to the conclusion that he only did it that second time to redeem himself for the first misfire. And once he was satisfied with the results he was good. Whatever. But yeah...idk what to do. lol. If I had my way I would've fucked him again the next day but I don't wanna be a buzz. God I just wish I knew what was going on in his head right now. And so far one exception outta three ain't bad. Ugh this is exactly what I DIDN'T want to have happen lol I wanted it to be good but not GREAT. Fuck. Like he told me he was going to eat me and please me and fuck the shit outta me but I didn't take it all that serious. That's not a lil boy that's a grown ass man. Well I guess we'll see what happens.
Miss Sixxxty, your unstable ass freak of the industryy
So I've been lusting after my old boss for some time now. When he worked at the club I'd flirt with him a little bit, but nothing too serious because he was my boss and I didn't wanna be THAT bitch, and because he had a girlfriend. But then he stopped working there and I would text him and see how he was doing and stuff. And one day he finally got me to admit that I wanted to fuck the shit out of him. Ad he responded by telling me he wanted the same. Yay! Only problem was he lived in east jesus nowhere and he lives with his girlfriend. When I go down to work I don't stay alone so it's not like I could invite him over. What's a girl to do? One time he did ask if he was to invite me over what would I do and I told him don't tempt me, but nothing happened. Finally after all the "I just wanna fuck you/eat you/please you" texts I got fed up. My sexual frustrations were getting the best of me. I confronted him and asked him if I scared him or was too aggressive for him (since that's what I keep hearing). He said maybe, maybe not and I told him all my lusting after him was getting me nowhere. Then it happened.
"Lol it will don't worry. So here's the thing I have a gf now. I still want you nonetheless will that change things for u"
Now before you guys start getting all judgey judgey lemme defend myself for a minute lol. I don't go actively pursuing guys with girlfriends. For the most part I don't even know they exist til further down the line. It just kinda happens that way they seem to be drawn to me. Most of the time if you come at me and I know you have a gf I get immediately turned off and start screen capping texts, just in case. BUT. There are certain exceptions. If I'm just drawn to you and you actively pursue me and I find out you have a gf then I tend to reconsider. Especially if you acknowledge the fact that you have a gf but still want me. Because at that point we have way too much sexual tension between us for me not to do it. But that's rare. And this happens to be one of those rare cases. Shit if you don't care and you're the one in the relationship why should I? But what about the gf? Have you no shame? Well. Yeah that sucks for her. And the roles can easily be reversed. But at the end of the day whether I fuck them or not if a guy wants to cheat he's going to cheat be it with me or anyone else. Now I wouldn't do this to any girl I knew personally, but if I don't know her from a can of paint then....Of course you guys are probably still shaking your head to which I say this is my life not yours you are just reading about it lol. It makes complete sense to me...
Back on topic tho, I told him not really, because in my mind I had already made the decision to fuck him, whether he was gonna give it up willingly or if I was gonna have to take it. We agreed to meet up the next day when he had some free time. I was too juiced. I now know how guys feel when they finally bag that girl that they've been chasing after forever. It feels great! He told me to meet him at 10, and I got to his city at 9:58ish. Not wanting to look overly eager I parked in a 7-11 parking lot, ate my last edible and waited for it to start kicking in before I called him. I texted him good morning around 10:40 and asked him what he was doing and he wasn't even at home! He was getting a hair cut. Guess I took too long. But he was on his way back and told me to meet him at his house. I drove over there and I saw him walking down the street. Now he's like 2 years younger than me but when I saw him he looked like a little boy! I started having second thoughts and I was like bitch stop tryna psych yourself out you've been wanting this for months. I park the car and he meets me at the door. We sat and caught up a little bit, he told me what he'd been up to since he left and I told him everything that was going on at work. Around 11:50ish he asked me how my edibles were making me feel. Told him I felt nice. He asked how do they make sex feel and I said amazing. I was starting to get worried he was gonna chicken out because we hadn't talked about anything sexual since I had been there, except why they call me Tits McGee. He looked at his phone and said "So it's 12 o'clock now. I have a soccer game at 2:30, that gives us about 2 & 1/2 hours. Do you want it?" Idk why but when he asked me if I wanted it it was just a turn on. I nodded my head and he said "Do you want it right now?" Nodded again. He asked if I wanted it in the bedroom or living room and I told him I didn't care as long as he gave it to me. He chose the bedroom and I followed him. I stood in front of the bed and he immediately came up behind me and bent me over the bed. I took my jacket off while he tried to pull my sweats off. I had to untie them first and he just ripped the shit off. I was on my stomach and he started to lick and kiss my butt and I panicked a bit because I wasn't sure if he was trying to eat my ass or eat me from the back. All I know is I'm not about that ass eating life just yet so I rolled over. Oh btw, I vajazzled my vag, dk if he noticed or not, but my rhinestone heart didn't last long at all:( He got down on his knees and spread my legs open and went to town. Now at first he was only licking like the top and I thought "Oh my god he doesn't know what he's doing" but maybe he was just teasing cause he finally went a lil lower and DAYUM. I just kept saying this isn't real. This isn't real! Oh but it was and it was great. He would spread my legs hella far so I didn't have much wiggle room and the only thing I could do was run. Then he dragged me by my legs back to the edge of the bed, got on top and started kissing my neck. Mmmm. He sat up and played with my clit with one hand and started putting on a condom with the other. You nimble man you. He grabbed me by my legs and stuck it in. I'm so mad I was high because I didn't even pay attention to his dick, but regardless it was still good. First my legs were draped over his arms, then he grabbed me by my ankles, then he put my legs together to one side. Yes, yes, yes. Good boy. Then he pushed my legs to the side of the bed so I was in like an L shape, and I wanted him to his from the back so I rolled over onto my knees. I threw it back on him and he was tellin me how good I felt and I was like "I know" and then he took over. He spanked me for a bit and then he would do those damn death strokes. Love those. He turned me back over, went down on me again, and I couldn't do shit but say his name repeatedly. He got back on top and put my legs on his shoulders and just drilled me. He asked if I liked it and I said mmhmm and then he got off and I got back on my knees. The way he was giving it to me was exactly what I needed because I haven't gotten it like that since...October 13th. One thing that did catch me off guard was when he grabbed me by my bra strap and told me to squeeze my P on his dick. That was a first but I did what I was told. When I told him I was about to cum he fucked me harder and every time he thrusted he would say "cum. Cum. CUM." And I liked that lol. He finally pulled out and I couldn't feel my legs. When my mind came back I realized I didn't give him head. While it was dope that he didn't ask or anything I would've liked to have showcased my skills too! It's not every day someone gets a blow job from a bitch with 3 tongue rings. He laid down next to me and told me I was really flexible. I told him I wasn't cause I couldn't bust a full split and then he went on a tangent about the different stages of flexibleness (Flex, flexy, and flexible. His words not mine) and told me I was flexy. Then he started talking about ugly people and I just zoned out. HE got up and got dressed, and I took that as my cue to get dressed too. I was hoping that wasn't he end of the festivities but he hit me with that "Oh, my friends should be on their way soon.....so.....yeah." Lol he said he had to call his gf back too and not to say anything. Well no shit Sherlock! I made sure to go get what was left of my vajazzle out the room and I told him bye and went to my car.
Overall I was happy with his performance. Now I see why he gets so frustrated with the fact his girl won't put out anymore. A guy like that NEEDS to fuck at least 3 times a day. I'd def be happy to oblige him on that. BUT that was the problem. We only had sex one time for like 20 mins/half an hour and already it was time to go. I expected to get fucked at least a couple times while I was there. He was the one saying how he needed it more than one time and how long he could go for. Not to mention it took me an hr to get to his place! (Not a word.). So here I was, happy I just got some good dick but mad I wasn't getting any more. I was telling myself "My life can't be like this! This sucks!!! Why me!?" Why I was talking to myself I have no idea. I was pretty high in an unfamiliar area and I had an hr drive to get back to my friend's house so I started freaking out. I called my friend and immediately started rambling to her. I told her I just fucked my old boss and it was great and I wanted to cry. She asked me why I wanted to cry and then I did and I was like I don't know what's wrong with me!!! Here I am driving down the street high af with this ugly ass cry face stuck on. I know people thought I was crazy. I almost started to say I missed the Antichrist but stopped myself...and I think I went on a tangent about how I deserved to have a good sex life because I was a good person or something to that effect. She would remember better than I did. But that was just sad. Sad sad sad. Like I think I associate good sex with him too much because when I tried to replay what had just happened I found myself saying the Antichrist's name but still picturing El Capitan. Weirrrrrd.
Nonetheless, I still wanted to see him again. But seeing as to he had a gf I decided I wouldn't text him just yet. Therein lies another problem. Should I text him and tell him I liked it? Should I wait for him to text me first? What if he's waiting on me to tell him it was good? And if I do decide to text him first how long do I wait?! It's gonna be tricky tryna guestimate when he's away from her so we can talk about it...but then it could go like that one bitch who after I finally mustered enough courage up to ask for another round told me "Maybe if you play your cards right." And he was single. That shit pissed me off all over again. I came to the conclusion that he only did it that second time to redeem himself for the first misfire. And once he was satisfied with the results he was good. Whatever. But yeah...idk what to do. lol. If I had my way I would've fucked him again the next day but I don't wanna be a buzz. God I just wish I knew what was going on in his head right now. And so far one exception outta three ain't bad. Ugh this is exactly what I DIDN'T want to have happen lol I wanted it to be good but not GREAT. Fuck. Like he told me he was going to eat me and please me and fuck the shit outta me but I didn't take it all that serious. That's not a lil boy that's a grown ass man. Well I guess we'll see what happens.
Miss Sixxxty, your unstable ass freak of the industryy
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
It Was The Worst Of Times...
If YOU'RE reading this, you know you no longer have any business to keep checking up on me. So if you don't like what I'm saying, tough titty.
I can barely remember what started this whole stupid conversation but all of a sudden it was like a complete 180. Like I just fucked you 6 times tonight AND bought you tacos I think I was on my best behavior! This entire bullshit started because of a comment I made 2 FUCKING FEBRUARIES AGO! Basically his friend told me he was a good guy and needed someone to tie him down. All I said was that I wouldn't mind him being my boyfriend but I don't think he's looking to date me. And the friend randomly brought it up a few days before. And the shit was weighing heavy on him since then or something. I don't know that doesn't sound like a bad comment to me! He starts going on about how he wants me to know this is never going anywhere (nothing too new) but then he decides to tell me WHY. And he gave me a million and one reasons about why I'd be a horrible girlfriend. Mind you I'm high on brownies so I'm barely processing what's going on. Not being able to say what I wanted sucked. But this was how I was feeling.
"Our foundation wasn't strong to begin with, it's unstable"
Okay yeah I know I fucked you when I met you, but honestly I don't thin k neither one of us saw this shit lasting as long as it did. And that shouldn't really mean shit NOW, but whatever.If the foundation was so unstable you know what people in construction do? They START OVER. Yeah I fucked you that night but remember I didn't fuck myself! Fuck the whole "well I'm the guy I'm supposed to try to sleep with you you're not always supposed to let me." You can also keep it in your pants too. That makes you no better in the foundation building process.
"You fuck every guy you meet you have like a constant rotation of guys. I know I read your blog."
Idk why this was even an issue when he has a steady rotation of other bitches he fucks too. Like I can't even count on my hand the number of bitches he fucked when he moved, not to mention he fucked that bitch the weekend I was staying at his house. When I think about the guys I slept with and I think about that bullshit he pulled I think mine was the lesser of the two evils.I never told him to his face about other guys, and I let him know the only reason I still fucked other people was because he wasn't always around. Like wtf do you expect me to do? Be monogamous to someone who clearly isn't being it himself? You're gonna get yours and I'm gonna get mine. And for him to accuse me of sleeping with every guy that shit is laughable because if he knew anything he'd know his dick has made me VERY picky. I refuse to settle for less when it comes to sex. I'd rather have no sex than bad sex, hence the 6 month drought before I met him. But he'll continue to think what he wants.
"How do we tell our grandkids how we met? That's not something we can tell them."
First off, why are you thinking about GRANDKIDS?!?!?! We just skipped our own huh...And the answer is you tell them the truth: I met you thru a mutual friend in the parking lot of liquor king. I don't see a problem with that. Of course you leave the sex out, but when you're talking to kids you leave sex out regardless so....I don't see the issue here.BUT it's apparent to me that you HAVE considered what a future with me would be like. Noted.
"Why would you drive 5 hours to go visit someone? Just to go visit."
OMG. He will NOT let this shit go!!! Idk how many times I have to tell him that I didn't sleep with someone I consider to be a brother. And not "brother" like some of you bitches say where you fuck on the under. Like actual almost blood brother. The idea of even seeing him naked in a sexual manner turns my stomach. But he has it in his head that I already did it, which probably explains why he fucked that bitch in the next room over when I was there. I didn't sleep with him end of discussion.
"I don't know anything about you. You never talk to me."
Only because YOU made me feel that way! I felt like I could never just be like "hey what's up" or anything for fear of getting ignored. Although very low it still feels like a form of rejection to me so I just choose not to do it. The few times early on I did try to invite you to come out with our mutual friends you'd always say no, so I just stopped asking. You don't know anything about me because you CHOOSE not to. Just as easily as I could've talked to you you could've said hi to me too. At least that way I would know it wasn't taboo to hit you up for only sex. And I never talk to you because I felt if I did you would think "Oh, this girl is catching feelings" when that wouldn't be the case all the times. Humans communicate when there's an issue, something we never did until shit hit the fan. We had no regular communication. When you say "I know when you're mad because you get really quiet" you still would'nt ask what was wrong, and I felt we had that emotional disconnect so I come here to vent and say the things I want. Speaking of which:
"Why didn't you stop blogging about me when I asked? Some of the things I read I'm like, 'Oh, this is what she was thinking at that moment?' And some of the stuff you say is kind of hurtful."
Okay apparently this blog is another roadblock. I did stop blogging about him for a while, usually just a one line mention to let everyone know we were still seeing each other, but there wouldn't be full blogs dedicated to him. But then after a while I thought, damn I have nothing to write about. And how dare someone who isn't my boyfriend ask me to stop doing something I was doing before I met them? If he wanted to be my boyfriend and expressed his dislike for it I would've fully taken it into consideration out of respect for my relationship. But when you tell me you only want a casual hookup then you have no say in what I choose to do in my spare time. And if you guys have been following me a long time you know that 98% of the time everything I have to say about him is nothing short of stellar. The only times I would say "bad" things is when he would start acting stupid. But I've never tried to tear down his character on purpose simply because I like him too much.
"And then you strip every weekend for disgusting ass men. How do you ever expect a man to take you serious?"
There are plenty of guys who are mature and that do. You are the one with the issue. Me dancing was never a problem when I would treat you to lunch was it? If dancing was something that you had trouble with we should've talked about it, and not in a "Oh, if you wanna marry a Mexican you gotta stop dancing." Just tell me YOU don't like it. Smh and to think I was actually considering not doing it anymore so I could be more available for him. Glad I didn't. Once again if you were thinking about dating me and it was an issue then you should've spoken up instead of being all jealous. I dance naked yeah but that's it. I don't meet up with these guys after and fuck them I just fucking dance. But like I said when you say you only want a casual hookup why should my job even matter? Noted.
"Trying to date you now would just be weird. I can't see myself calling you up and being like 'Hey, lemme take you to dinner'"
Well, that's not my fault. I don't see how us going to dinner is any different than us going to Tito's and hanging out and talking.
"You only use me for sex. You've hit me up for sex before. Like you get so mad when I don't fuck you."
HAH!!!!!!!!!! Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing? You don't wanna date me so why should I act like I want you for anything else? Sir, The number of times I've asked you for sex over the last two years I can probably count on my hand. They nowhere near add up to the amount you've hit me up for it. How are you gonna tell me "It's just sex" and then get mad at me for only hitting you up when I want sex? Sorry that I like your dick a lot.
"Why haven't you had a boyfriend? I feel like you're holding out for me or something when it's not going to happen."
So because I've never told you "Oh hey I have a boyfriend now we have to stop this" it means I'm holding out for you? Okay. There have been other guys I've actually been interested in dating sans the sex and it just never works out. Why? I don't know but it wasn't because you were in the back of my head. Because why would I choose someone who doesn't want to bring me around his friends over someone who would? That makes no sense.
"I just don't wanna lead you on because I've been hurt before I got cheated on...blah blah blah."
Oh you got cheated on huh? That was around the time I remember you told me you loved another girl. As you sat in my car having a post sex cigarette. Sounds like cheating to me. And why do you care so much about whether you're gonna hurt me or not (even though this entire conversation is killing me). Someone who doesn't have feelings for me wouldn't give two shits. And you think NOW, two years later is a good time to be like "I should probably speak up about my intentions." Cause there is no way in hell I could like you after all this time? Okay. Why does something I said two years ago matter now?! Noted.
"There may have been times when I tried to act all romantic but it just isn't going to work."
That makes no sense. But okay.
"You're just a sex addict like you want sex all the time."
When has this ever been an issue?! Okay yeah, I like having sex a lot but what does that have to do with anything? If you were my boyfriend I'd obviously want to do more than just fuck you all the time. But you aren't. And the sex happens to be amazing. Sorry for wanting to have amazing sex with you all the time.
"Like honestly, I wrote you off the night I met you and you fucked me."
If that was the case, if you wrote me off two years ago why are we still doing this? If you already decided you didn't want to ever be with me then why do you give two shits about whether I only use you for sex or whatever it is you think I do? I mean I'm not an idiot, I wasn't born yesterday. I didn't expect us to get together, get married and start popping out kids in the house with the white picket fence. I never tried to pressure you into making me your girlfriend. I kinda knew this was only going to be fun sex but you flipped all this shit and made it unfun. It's like knowing there's a dead body in the next room over. You know it's there but you're smart enough not to go open the door and see it. You just keep going on about your business with that dead body in the back of your mind. Well, you fucking kicked down the door and held my eyes open and made me look at it. You don't wanna be with me, fine. But why do you want to have this conversation now?! What the fuck did I do to piss you off that night? He brought up that he thought it was cool that I would listen to him talk about his goals and dreams or whatever may have been on his mind. Yeah, I did that shit because I was genuinely interested and like hearing you talk about things you're passionate about. For you to just genuinely be as hurtful as possible. If you had no feelings for me we shouldn't even be having this conversation.
The night basically ended with me asking him what this means, if he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said no that's not what it means, and that we've had "epic sex" and it's been fun and whatnot. SO. I guess my pussy is the only thing that kept you coming back all these years? That's a warning to the guys I haven't met yet. Watch out for my killa cocaine cooch. You'll be addicted after one dose. I was barely processing what was going on the entire night because I was under the influence of that stupid brownie. He said he just wanted to tell me he doesn't wanna date me and he's sorry that this turned into a big thing. I couldn't even look at him. Half because I didn't want to, half because the tears were stinging my eyes. We've argued before, but this time felt different. I've never cried before but this conversation was hurting me and I couldn't figure why. He asked me to walk to the door with him and I'm thinking for what? After all that shit you think I should still keep doing shit for you, no matter how small. I don't even know what the fuck I was feeling, I just wanted to vanish into nothingness. I went home and cried.
I cried like a little bitch.
I woke up the next morning and decided to go to work. I cried the entire way there.
At work I was a mess. I had a customer ask me how my day was going and I had to look away because I felt my eyes burning and that lump in my throat again.
I feel my eyes burning again as I write this.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I fell for a very charming asshole with good dick.
Even though he said he didn't wanna stop seeing me I haven't heard from him since.
And that was on October 13th.
I figured I'd give him space, and waited about a month before I reached out to him.
I didn't get a response.
Guess he found someone else though. My friend called me and told me the things she was seeing on his twitter and how a picture of him and his girl was posted 3 days before I hit him up.
I don't allow myself to care much for this very reason. I never check his fb, twitter, instagram or anything because you don't look under a rock and get mad when you find dirt. Still didn't make it any easier.
Here we are in December now and nothing's changed. Every day it gets easier but there are those times when it really sucks.
So from what I've gathered I'm a sex addicted whore of a stripper who wants nothing more in life than to fuck millions of people. Or something to that effect. Noted. My whole take on the night honestly was that he started to catch feelings but since I'm not the "ideal" girlfriend model for him, he basically had to go thru an entire laundry lists of reasons about why it wouldn't work. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to "inform" and "protect my feelings". Judging me by the shit I do as a single person doesn't reflect the type of person I'd be as a girlfriend. You'll never know what type of girlfriend I'd be unless you gave it a shot. Which you refuse to do. You never know the outcome of anything until you try. But hey, it is what it is. I hope you find what you're looking for.
"That moment when you want them to care as much as you find yourself caring, you then realize that they might not ever! Afraid to move on, leaving a small window of possibility, as you sit near it looking out!"
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
I can barely remember what started this whole stupid conversation but all of a sudden it was like a complete 180. Like I just fucked you 6 times tonight AND bought you tacos I think I was on my best behavior! This entire bullshit started because of a comment I made 2 FUCKING FEBRUARIES AGO! Basically his friend told me he was a good guy and needed someone to tie him down. All I said was that I wouldn't mind him being my boyfriend but I don't think he's looking to date me. And the friend randomly brought it up a few days before. And the shit was weighing heavy on him since then or something. I don't know that doesn't sound like a bad comment to me! He starts going on about how he wants me to know this is never going anywhere (nothing too new) but then he decides to tell me WHY. And he gave me a million and one reasons about why I'd be a horrible girlfriend. Mind you I'm high on brownies so I'm barely processing what's going on. Not being able to say what I wanted sucked. But this was how I was feeling.
"Our foundation wasn't strong to begin with, it's unstable"
Okay yeah I know I fucked you when I met you, but honestly I don't thin k neither one of us saw this shit lasting as long as it did. And that shouldn't really mean shit NOW, but whatever.If the foundation was so unstable you know what people in construction do? They START OVER. Yeah I fucked you that night but remember I didn't fuck myself! Fuck the whole "well I'm the guy I'm supposed to try to sleep with you you're not always supposed to let me." You can also keep it in your pants too. That makes you no better in the foundation building process.
"You fuck every guy you meet you have like a constant rotation of guys. I know I read your blog."
Idk why this was even an issue when he has a steady rotation of other bitches he fucks too. Like I can't even count on my hand the number of bitches he fucked when he moved, not to mention he fucked that bitch the weekend I was staying at his house. When I think about the guys I slept with and I think about that bullshit he pulled I think mine was the lesser of the two evils.I never told him to his face about other guys, and I let him know the only reason I still fucked other people was because he wasn't always around. Like wtf do you expect me to do? Be monogamous to someone who clearly isn't being it himself? You're gonna get yours and I'm gonna get mine. And for him to accuse me of sleeping with every guy that shit is laughable because if he knew anything he'd know his dick has made me VERY picky. I refuse to settle for less when it comes to sex. I'd rather have no sex than bad sex, hence the 6 month drought before I met him. But he'll continue to think what he wants.
"How do we tell our grandkids how we met? That's not something we can tell them."
First off, why are you thinking about GRANDKIDS?!?!?! We just skipped our own huh...And the answer is you tell them the truth: I met you thru a mutual friend in the parking lot of liquor king. I don't see a problem with that. Of course you leave the sex out, but when you're talking to kids you leave sex out regardless so....I don't see the issue here.BUT it's apparent to me that you HAVE considered what a future with me would be like. Noted.
"Why would you drive 5 hours to go visit someone? Just to go visit."
OMG. He will NOT let this shit go!!! Idk how many times I have to tell him that I didn't sleep with someone I consider to be a brother. And not "brother" like some of you bitches say where you fuck on the under. Like actual almost blood brother. The idea of even seeing him naked in a sexual manner turns my stomach. But he has it in his head that I already did it, which probably explains why he fucked that bitch in the next room over when I was there. I didn't sleep with him end of discussion.
"I don't know anything about you. You never talk to me."
Only because YOU made me feel that way! I felt like I could never just be like "hey what's up" or anything for fear of getting ignored. Although very low it still feels like a form of rejection to me so I just choose not to do it. The few times early on I did try to invite you to come out with our mutual friends you'd always say no, so I just stopped asking. You don't know anything about me because you CHOOSE not to. Just as easily as I could've talked to you you could've said hi to me too. At least that way I would know it wasn't taboo to hit you up for only sex. And I never talk to you because I felt if I did you would think "Oh, this girl is catching feelings" when that wouldn't be the case all the times. Humans communicate when there's an issue, something we never did until shit hit the fan. We had no regular communication. When you say "I know when you're mad because you get really quiet" you still would'nt ask what was wrong, and I felt we had that emotional disconnect so I come here to vent and say the things I want. Speaking of which:
"Why didn't you stop blogging about me when I asked? Some of the things I read I'm like, 'Oh, this is what she was thinking at that moment?' And some of the stuff you say is kind of hurtful."
Okay apparently this blog is another roadblock. I did stop blogging about him for a while, usually just a one line mention to let everyone know we were still seeing each other, but there wouldn't be full blogs dedicated to him. But then after a while I thought, damn I have nothing to write about. And how dare someone who isn't my boyfriend ask me to stop doing something I was doing before I met them? If he wanted to be my boyfriend and expressed his dislike for it I would've fully taken it into consideration out of respect for my relationship. But when you tell me you only want a casual hookup then you have no say in what I choose to do in my spare time. And if you guys have been following me a long time you know that 98% of the time everything I have to say about him is nothing short of stellar. The only times I would say "bad" things is when he would start acting stupid. But I've never tried to tear down his character on purpose simply because I like him too much.
"And then you strip every weekend for disgusting ass men. How do you ever expect a man to take you serious?"
There are plenty of guys who are mature and that do. You are the one with the issue. Me dancing was never a problem when I would treat you to lunch was it? If dancing was something that you had trouble with we should've talked about it, and not in a "Oh, if you wanna marry a Mexican you gotta stop dancing." Just tell me YOU don't like it. Smh and to think I was actually considering not doing it anymore so I could be more available for him. Glad I didn't. Once again if you were thinking about dating me and it was an issue then you should've spoken up instead of being all jealous. I dance naked yeah but that's it. I don't meet up with these guys after and fuck them I just fucking dance. But like I said when you say you only want a casual hookup why should my job even matter? Noted.
"Trying to date you now would just be weird. I can't see myself calling you up and being like 'Hey, lemme take you to dinner'"
Well, that's not my fault. I don't see how us going to dinner is any different than us going to Tito's and hanging out and talking.
"You only use me for sex. You've hit me up for sex before. Like you get so mad when I don't fuck you."
HAH!!!!!!!!!! Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing? You don't wanna date me so why should I act like I want you for anything else? Sir, The number of times I've asked you for sex over the last two years I can probably count on my hand. They nowhere near add up to the amount you've hit me up for it. How are you gonna tell me "It's just sex" and then get mad at me for only hitting you up when I want sex? Sorry that I like your dick a lot.
"Why haven't you had a boyfriend? I feel like you're holding out for me or something when it's not going to happen."
So because I've never told you "Oh hey I have a boyfriend now we have to stop this" it means I'm holding out for you? Okay. There have been other guys I've actually been interested in dating sans the sex and it just never works out. Why? I don't know but it wasn't because you were in the back of my head. Because why would I choose someone who doesn't want to bring me around his friends over someone who would? That makes no sense.
"I just don't wanna lead you on because I've been hurt before I got cheated on...blah blah blah."
Oh you got cheated on huh? That was around the time I remember you told me you loved another girl. As you sat in my car having a post sex cigarette. Sounds like cheating to me. And why do you care so much about whether you're gonna hurt me or not (even though this entire conversation is killing me). Someone who doesn't have feelings for me wouldn't give two shits. And you think NOW, two years later is a good time to be like "I should probably speak up about my intentions." Cause there is no way in hell I could like you after all this time? Okay. Why does something I said two years ago matter now?! Noted.
"There may have been times when I tried to act all romantic but it just isn't going to work."
That makes no sense. But okay.
"You're just a sex addict like you want sex all the time."
When has this ever been an issue?! Okay yeah, I like having sex a lot but what does that have to do with anything? If you were my boyfriend I'd obviously want to do more than just fuck you all the time. But you aren't. And the sex happens to be amazing. Sorry for wanting to have amazing sex with you all the time.
"Like honestly, I wrote you off the night I met you and you fucked me."
If that was the case, if you wrote me off two years ago why are we still doing this? If you already decided you didn't want to ever be with me then why do you give two shits about whether I only use you for sex or whatever it is you think I do? I mean I'm not an idiot, I wasn't born yesterday. I didn't expect us to get together, get married and start popping out kids in the house with the white picket fence. I never tried to pressure you into making me your girlfriend. I kinda knew this was only going to be fun sex but you flipped all this shit and made it unfun. It's like knowing there's a dead body in the next room over. You know it's there but you're smart enough not to go open the door and see it. You just keep going on about your business with that dead body in the back of your mind. Well, you fucking kicked down the door and held my eyes open and made me look at it. You don't wanna be with me, fine. But why do you want to have this conversation now?! What the fuck did I do to piss you off that night? He brought up that he thought it was cool that I would listen to him talk about his goals and dreams or whatever may have been on his mind. Yeah, I did that shit because I was genuinely interested and like hearing you talk about things you're passionate about. For you to just genuinely be as hurtful as possible. If you had no feelings for me we shouldn't even be having this conversation.
The night basically ended with me asking him what this means, if he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said no that's not what it means, and that we've had "epic sex" and it's been fun and whatnot. SO. I guess my pussy is the only thing that kept you coming back all these years? That's a warning to the guys I haven't met yet. Watch out for my killa cocaine cooch. You'll be addicted after one dose. I was barely processing what was going on the entire night because I was under the influence of that stupid brownie. He said he just wanted to tell me he doesn't wanna date me and he's sorry that this turned into a big thing. I couldn't even look at him. Half because I didn't want to, half because the tears were stinging my eyes. We've argued before, but this time felt different. I've never cried before but this conversation was hurting me and I couldn't figure why. He asked me to walk to the door with him and I'm thinking for what? After all that shit you think I should still keep doing shit for you, no matter how small. I don't even know what the fuck I was feeling, I just wanted to vanish into nothingness. I went home and cried.
I cried like a little bitch.
I woke up the next morning and decided to go to work. I cried the entire way there.
At work I was a mess. I had a customer ask me how my day was going and I had to look away because I felt my eyes burning and that lump in my throat again.
I feel my eyes burning again as I write this.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I fell for a very charming asshole with good dick.
Even though he said he didn't wanna stop seeing me I haven't heard from him since.
And that was on October 13th.
I figured I'd give him space, and waited about a month before I reached out to him.
I didn't get a response.
Guess he found someone else though. My friend called me and told me the things she was seeing on his twitter and how a picture of him and his girl was posted 3 days before I hit him up.
I don't allow myself to care much for this very reason. I never check his fb, twitter, instagram or anything because you don't look under a rock and get mad when you find dirt. Still didn't make it any easier.
Here we are in December now and nothing's changed. Every day it gets easier but there are those times when it really sucks.
So from what I've gathered I'm a sex addicted whore of a stripper who wants nothing more in life than to fuck millions of people. Or something to that effect. Noted. My whole take on the night honestly was that he started to catch feelings but since I'm not the "ideal" girlfriend model for him, he basically had to go thru an entire laundry lists of reasons about why it wouldn't work. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to "inform" and "protect my feelings". Judging me by the shit I do as a single person doesn't reflect the type of person I'd be as a girlfriend. You'll never know what type of girlfriend I'd be unless you gave it a shot. Which you refuse to do. You never know the outcome of anything until you try. But hey, it is what it is. I hope you find what you're looking for.
"That moment when you want them to care as much as you find yourself caring, you then realize that they might not ever! Afraid to move on, leaving a small window of possibility, as you sit near it looking out!"
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Monday, November 12, 2012
Random Shit.
Sorry if this blog doesn't make sense or seeming hella all over the place. I just need to vent some shit. So there won't be any steamy or funny sex stories but you are free to continue to read into the inner workings of my mind. Lol
Took a mini hiatus but I'm bored so I thought I'd blog. A bunch of shit has been happening and my life low key feels like its in shambles. But whatever. Those wondering about Happenis I think he needed some "Me" time. Or whatever. So for the time being (or maybe forever) he is not around. But enough about that.
Puss In Boots made a random ass appearance. He wanted me to come visit him when I was in town and I did...and everything was...different. I don't know if it's because he's no longer my friends roommate and the bald headed cock blocking ass bitch is no longer a problem or if its something else but it just wasn't fun anymore. Just kinda like...Just get behind me and hurry up. I don't want any eye contact whatsoever. Which is sad because we had fun sex. I even shotgunned a bowl with him and it didn't help. I was more concerned with making it to work on time that night. After that little detour I made it a point not to hit him up anymore or make any out of the way visits. Same with the Gummy Bear Dude. I didn't even make it all the way thru before tapping out. I couldn't do it! And I haven't slept with him since the summer. I'm just so over having to fake it all the fucking time. And I have gotten really good at faking it. Sad. Facial expressions, back arches, breathing, the whole nine. I just wanna be with the one person I never have to fake it with lol. I'm a good person. I deserve good sex in return damnit! It's like every time I step out on a good thing some bad shit goes down and I'm just left scratching my head like whaa..? But at the same time I have no choice BUT to step out. I'm really left with no options. Which sucks. Because I have these awesome pot brownies courtesy of an angel named Kitty that make me extremely horny ad I'd like to not waste them on bogus ass sex. THC just takes mind blowing sex to on the verge of dying of ecstasy sex. I'm over here rationing them like I'm actually about to get good sex lol when it's been over a month now. If anything does happen they'll probably be spoiled by then.
I've had prospects but none that genuinely pique my interest. It feels hopeless. "Oh but there are soooo many other penises in the sea" I know this and a bitch isn't trying to go thru all of them to find one.
Now, there is ONE that I'm interested in tho, the situation is just highly complicated. His name? El Capitan. He was my adorable old boss, but not anymore! I'd always joke with the girls that he'd better not let me catch him in a dark hallway alone, otherwise I'd ambush him. I work in a sexually charged environment so he'd always flirt back with me too. Only problem is, he has a girlfriend. And because of that I never did anything TOO over the top, out of a kind of respect for their "institution". But there was just sooooo much sexual tension between us. Now that he isn't my boss anymore, that was one less issue to worry about. I's still text him every now and then to see how life was after the club and he seemed to be doing just fine. The conversation soon turned sexual (as it always tends to) but this time instead of him asking about my sex life with other people we got into my potential sex life with him. He's known I've been attracted to him for the longest and he hits me up with the ol' "Well why didn't you speak up sooner? cause maybe I wanted you too..." I reminded him he had a girlfriend and it wasn't really my place to be telling him and he was just like so..? Apparently he's in a "cookie drought" and he was telling me all the things he wanted to do to me if we were to ever be alone together. SCORE. Is it bad that I still want to sleep with him knowing he has a girlfriend? Yes. Do I care? No. Why should I? If he's the one that's supposed to be in love and he doesn't, I won't either. He's the one who has to live with the fuck up, not me. Anyways towards the end of the convo his answers became really short and I figured he was starting to bitch out. WTFAAAAAAACK.
I'm really picky when it comes to cheating. Me being the SINGLE person I am it doesn't bother me too much because I am single and will do whatever the fuck I please. The one thing I DON'T like is when a dude will lie about being in a relationship and I find out. Because you didn't give me the option as to whether I wanted to go thru with it. I'd like to know ahead of time so I can be like "Hmm...is it gonna be worth it (to me)?" There are also the dudes that I barely know exist but I know about their relationships and they try to be sneaky by being in my DM or FB inbox. That shit just works my everlasting nerves. I know this probably makes no sense to you but in my head it makes perfect sense. I think the problem with that is because I don't know them, I have no sexual tension with them and I probably don't even find them attractive. Which makes it not okay in my box. Stay with me here. A lot of those guys are lucky I'm not too much into childish behavior or I'd be screenshotting the fuck out their ain't shit asses. Just don't come at me wrong on the wrong day tho. You have been warned.
But back to El Capitan that shit just pissed me off because I told him at the beginning I didn't want to admit to anything because it wouldn't make a difference since he had a girl. But he insisted with the dirty talk so I just followed suit. I don't know what happened at the end of the convo but it sounded to me like he was getting guilty already and I haven't even seen him in person in weeks. I hate people that get guilty on me. Either you're gonna go thru with it or you're not but don't bitch out half way thru. Just a waste of unlimited text messages. One of my coworkers thinks he's just gonna wait for the right moment when he's alone to finish what he started but I'm not so sure. We shall see I guess.
At work this gorgeous Armenian lady with nice boobs came in and got a lap dance from me. She told me she'd never cheat on her husband but that she would just LOVE to be with a girl. And I almost let her take me home. Almost. Boy, what a blog that would've been.
Idk if I'm just lonely r if it's because cuffing season is in full effect out here, but sleeping alone sucks. I like having a body next to me, even if there isn't any sex or cuddling involved. Ah hell.
I have a lot more to write about, but I'm just gonna wait it out before I say anything stupid. Ha, Happenis stole my happy and my penis. How funny.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Took a mini hiatus but I'm bored so I thought I'd blog. A bunch of shit has been happening and my life low key feels like its in shambles. But whatever. Those wondering about Happenis I think he needed some "Me" time. Or whatever. So for the time being (or maybe forever) he is not around. But enough about that.
Puss In Boots made a random ass appearance. He wanted me to come visit him when I was in town and I did...and everything was...different. I don't know if it's because he's no longer my friends roommate and the bald headed cock blocking ass bitch is no longer a problem or if its something else but it just wasn't fun anymore. Just kinda like...Just get behind me and hurry up. I don't want any eye contact whatsoever. Which is sad because we had fun sex. I even shotgunned a bowl with him and it didn't help. I was more concerned with making it to work on time that night. After that little detour I made it a point not to hit him up anymore or make any out of the way visits. Same with the Gummy Bear Dude. I didn't even make it all the way thru before tapping out. I couldn't do it! And I haven't slept with him since the summer. I'm just so over having to fake it all the fucking time. And I have gotten really good at faking it. Sad. Facial expressions, back arches, breathing, the whole nine. I just wanna be with the one person I never have to fake it with lol. I'm a good person. I deserve good sex in return damnit! It's like every time I step out on a good thing some bad shit goes down and I'm just left scratching my head like whaa..? But at the same time I have no choice BUT to step out. I'm really left with no options. Which sucks. Because I have these awesome pot brownies courtesy of an angel named Kitty that make me extremely horny ad I'd like to not waste them on bogus ass sex. THC just takes mind blowing sex to on the verge of dying of ecstasy sex. I'm over here rationing them like I'm actually about to get good sex lol when it's been over a month now. If anything does happen they'll probably be spoiled by then.
I've had prospects but none that genuinely pique my interest. It feels hopeless. "Oh but there are soooo many other penises in the sea" I know this and a bitch isn't trying to go thru all of them to find one.
Now, there is ONE that I'm interested in tho, the situation is just highly complicated. His name? El Capitan. He was my adorable old boss, but not anymore! I'd always joke with the girls that he'd better not let me catch him in a dark hallway alone, otherwise I'd ambush him. I work in a sexually charged environment so he'd always flirt back with me too. Only problem is, he has a girlfriend. And because of that I never did anything TOO over the top, out of a kind of respect for their "institution". But there was just sooooo much sexual tension between us. Now that he isn't my boss anymore, that was one less issue to worry about. I's still text him every now and then to see how life was after the club and he seemed to be doing just fine. The conversation soon turned sexual (as it always tends to) but this time instead of him asking about my sex life with other people we got into my potential sex life with him. He's known I've been attracted to him for the longest and he hits me up with the ol' "Well why didn't you speak up sooner? cause maybe I wanted you too..." I reminded him he had a girlfriend and it wasn't really my place to be telling him and he was just like so..? Apparently he's in a "cookie drought" and he was telling me all the things he wanted to do to me if we were to ever be alone together. SCORE. Is it bad that I still want to sleep with him knowing he has a girlfriend? Yes. Do I care? No. Why should I? If he's the one that's supposed to be in love and he doesn't, I won't either. He's the one who has to live with the fuck up, not me. Anyways towards the end of the convo his answers became really short and I figured he was starting to bitch out. WTFAAAAAAACK.
I'm really picky when it comes to cheating. Me being the SINGLE person I am it doesn't bother me too much because I am single and will do whatever the fuck I please. The one thing I DON'T like is when a dude will lie about being in a relationship and I find out. Because you didn't give me the option as to whether I wanted to go thru with it. I'd like to know ahead of time so I can be like "Hmm...is it gonna be worth it (to me)?" There are also the dudes that I barely know exist but I know about their relationships and they try to be sneaky by being in my DM or FB inbox. That shit just works my everlasting nerves. I know this probably makes no sense to you but in my head it makes perfect sense. I think the problem with that is because I don't know them, I have no sexual tension with them and I probably don't even find them attractive. Which makes it not okay in my box. Stay with me here. A lot of those guys are lucky I'm not too much into childish behavior or I'd be screenshotting the fuck out their ain't shit asses. Just don't come at me wrong on the wrong day tho. You have been warned.
But back to El Capitan that shit just pissed me off because I told him at the beginning I didn't want to admit to anything because it wouldn't make a difference since he had a girl. But he insisted with the dirty talk so I just followed suit. I don't know what happened at the end of the convo but it sounded to me like he was getting guilty already and I haven't even seen him in person in weeks. I hate people that get guilty on me. Either you're gonna go thru with it or you're not but don't bitch out half way thru. Just a waste of unlimited text messages. One of my coworkers thinks he's just gonna wait for the right moment when he's alone to finish what he started but I'm not so sure. We shall see I guess.
At work this gorgeous Armenian lady with nice boobs came in and got a lap dance from me. She told me she'd never cheat on her husband but that she would just LOVE to be with a girl. And I almost let her take me home. Almost. Boy, what a blog that would've been.
Idk if I'm just lonely r if it's because cuffing season is in full effect out here, but sleeping alone sucks. I like having a body next to me, even if there isn't any sex or cuddling involved. Ah hell.
I have a lot more to write about, but I'm just gonna wait it out before I say anything stupid. Ha, Happenis stole my happy and my penis. How funny.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Call Me, Maybe...NOT!!!
This post is gonna be rather short.
So just an update on the Goblin, the one who told me "maybe if I play my cards right" we might be able to have sex again, well I think I know why I go such a shady ass response. I was supposed to go see The Dark Knight with him and some of his friends, yet he failed to mention that his boo was included in that group. I had no idea he even had a boo! I go meet up with him and two girls, one I knew the other one I didn't. I suspected something was up when she didn't really talk much and just kept kinda looking at me. Then at some point they started hugging and making out while I was talking to the girl I knew. I was so flustered, embarrassed and confused that I couldn't even put my thoughts together as I was talking. I kept stopping and forgetting what I was trying to say as I pretended to not notice what was going on mere inches away. I had the most pathetic crush on this man...and for what. I thought he was such a great guy, and I mean he probably still is but this brings me back to my issue with the Sexsomniac. Why are you bringing sand to the beach?! I mean it was pretty clear that he liked this chick more than me so I don't see why my presence was even needed. I had briefly stopped talking to him after the maybe incident, and recently started talking to him again. Something told me not to go to the movies that night...thankfully I hadn't purchased my ticket yet so when everyone went inside to find seats I pretended to buy my ticket then dipped. Sadly my crush went deeper than sex so yeah when he kissed ol girl I felt some type of way. ugh. Fuck. Whatever.
So just an update on the Goblin, the one who told me "maybe if I play my cards right" we might be able to have sex again, well I think I know why I go such a shady ass response. I was supposed to go see The Dark Knight with him and some of his friends, yet he failed to mention that his boo was included in that group. I had no idea he even had a boo! I go meet up with him and two girls, one I knew the other one I didn't. I suspected something was up when she didn't really talk much and just kept kinda looking at me. Then at some point they started hugging and making out while I was talking to the girl I knew. I was so flustered, embarrassed and confused that I couldn't even put my thoughts together as I was talking. I kept stopping and forgetting what I was trying to say as I pretended to not notice what was going on mere inches away. I had the most pathetic crush on this man...and for what. I thought he was such a great guy, and I mean he probably still is but this brings me back to my issue with the Sexsomniac. Why are you bringing sand to the beach?! I mean it was pretty clear that he liked this chick more than me so I don't see why my presence was even needed. I had briefly stopped talking to him after the maybe incident, and recently started talking to him again. Something told me not to go to the movies that night...thankfully I hadn't purchased my ticket yet so when everyone went inside to find seats I pretended to buy my ticket then dipped. Sadly my crush went deeper than sex so yeah when he kissed ol girl I felt some type of way. ugh. Fuck. Whatever.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
WTF Am I Even Doing...
I no longer know what the fuck I'm doing with my life.
Every time I wanna do something special it falls thru.
Every time I go that extra mile it goes unnoticed.
Every time I wanna see you I get ignored.
This fucking sucks. I need a boyfriend. Asap.
One that will kiss my legs. And cook me scrambled eggs lol.
And I will fuck him blind. And feed him sammitches and gatorade.
Fair enough. At least I think.
Time to peel off the war paint.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy (and stop reading my blogs sir)
Every time I wanna do something special it falls thru.
Every time I go that extra mile it goes unnoticed.
Every time I wanna see you I get ignored.
This fucking sucks. I need a boyfriend. Asap.
One that will kiss my legs. And cook me scrambled eggs lol.
And I will fuck him blind. And feed him sammitches and gatorade.
Fair enough. At least I think.
Time to peel off the war paint.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy (and stop reading my blogs sir)
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
I Need An Adam Sackler.
One night I stumbled upon HBO's Girls OnDemand. And I fell in love after the first episode. The season finale? They played my ratchet girl anthem "Yankin'" by Lady. At a WEDDING. I especially fell in love with title character Hannah Horvath's (Lena Dunham) love interest Adam Sackler (Adam Driver). He is like Happenis reincarnate. The guy I kinda wish he was. But isn't. Oh well. But he's like perfect. I'm still mad I have yet to see his dick but I've seen her dad's old ass balls...It would suck if I'm fantasizing about this man and he has a peepee...He's a nymphomaniac and an alcoholic (I could do without the latter but I'm not judging). He says random hilarious shit whenever him and Hannah have sex, which reminds me so much of HIM. And the gay part is after complaining about her "boyfriend" in her head not appreciating her she actually gets the guy! And the ungrateful bitch just backs down! As if he was merely a plot in her book. I would fucking KILL to be in her position as much as I hate to admit it. And I hate to admit that I'm in love with a fucking television character:( He is far from perfect which makes him so perfect. I don't want the McDreamy, who knows all the right things to say, who wants to make tender love to me all the time. I need the Adam, who will cuss right back at me, who will argue with me, and who will pee on me in the shower (and I would actually find it funny). I want him to call me "Kid" instead of "babe". I need a weirdo type romance.I want to role play weirdo situations, like scolding him as I watch him jack off in front of me. I don't want the fairy tale story book romance. I need THIS. I wish he was a real person. I'd go find him and tie him to the bed for three days just cause I feel like it. It seems they always end their conversations with "Alright let's go fuck". I want that!!!! And now that the season ended with Adam seemingly breaking up with Hannah (the weirdo in me wants him to be single; the sane part knows if that happens he may not be on the show much longer). Like before Hannah left one day he grabbed her face and was like "Quit tryna kiss me, don't kiss me...d'aaaaaah okay" and kissed her. It was cute. HE is cute. She can yell at him and pour out her heart and all he wants to do is fuck her because her yelling was turning him on. I am a fucking loon.
Which brings me to wonder: Can long term booty calls lead to long term relationships? Adam and Hannah were fucking for 6 months and finally her whining made something happen. And they seemed pretty happy. If you've been fucking the same person for a year plus, what's stopping you from being with them? You obviously like them enough to keep coming back a year later. You're both (hopefully) single. You have fun when you guys hang out and do other things besides have sex. If she can cook, keep a clean house, is good with kids, and has shown you that she is just an overall good woman, then what is truly stopping you? I feel like you can't let the fact that she fucked you on the first night so long ago or that this was strictly supposed to be casual stop you from trying. There's nothing worse than asking yourself what if. You could have been going through a string of failed relationships over the course of your "fucklationship" with the other girl, looking for that perfect girl, when she may have been under your nose the entire time. And if during that time you have yet to have a successful relationship, there really can't be any harm in just trying right? Worst case scenario it doesn't work out, and you guys can break up. And it's finished.
All I'm saying is, if you have a legit reason, then fine. But if the only thing stopping you a year later is "She fucked me on the first night" then you're stupid. And you might as well give it a go. Shit.
But anyways in order to understand why I love Adam so much you would have had to have watched the show. For those who haven't seen it, I sat thru 5 hours of reruns just to give you my favorite Adam-isms. In order.
"It gives me the freedom that I don't have to be anyone's slave. You should never be anyone's FUCKING slave. Except mine."
Adam: Lay on your stomach...grab your legs.Okay this is good. I'm gonna go get some lube...When I get back I want you in the exact same position. Just with the rest of the shit off.
Hannah: Will you get a condom?
Adam: I'lllllllllll...consider it!
Adam: Yeah you like that?
Hannah: I like it. I like everything you're doing.
Adam: I knew when I found you you wanted it this way
Hannah: Found me where?
Adam: In the street. Walking alone.
Hannah: We didn't met in the street we met at a party. Oh i got it- the street yeah walking the street.
Adam: You were a junkie. You were only 11. And you had your fucking cabbage patch lunch box
Hannah: Yeah and I was really scared when I saw you.
Adam: Fuck. You're a dirty little whore and I'm gonna send you home to your parent's covered in cum.
Hannah: Oh don't do that they're gonna be so angry.
Adam: Where do you want me to cum? face? pretty little tits? tummy? touch yourself!
Hannah: Where?
Hannah: We always use condoms.
Adam: Do we?
Hannah: Yeah. We used one last night.
Adam: Oh yeah, I guess we do. That's probably why it takes me 25 years to nut whenever I have sex with you.
“Look kid, I don’t know what you want from me. Do you want me to be your boyfriend? Is that it?! Do you want me to be your fucking boyfriend?!” (yes. yes I do.)
Hannah: If you don't like ice cream what do you like?
Adam: I like you.
"I promised myself that I would follow my gut. No matter what. And I do what makes me feel good"
"Yo skank where you at? Getting that pussy pounded? (it's my sister)"
"Don't waste time on guilt, Hannah. Holding onto toxic relationships is what keeps us from growing. You're blooming every time you shed a layer. Even closer to yourself."
"Jesus kid, save your strength. We're in it for the long haul."
“If you wanna fuck me from behind, at least put my hair back.”
Adam: You love yourself so much so why is it so crazy that someone else would too?
Hannah: I don’t love myself.
Adam: You’re the fucking worst. You know that? Because you think you’re not pretty. And you’re not a good writer. And you’re not a good friend. Well, you are pretty. And you are a good writer. And you are a good friend.
Hannah: Well thank you.
Adam: Is this the game? You chase me like I’m the fucking Beatles for six months and then I finally get comfortable and you shrug? What the FUCK is wrong with you?!
Hannah: I’m scared okay? I’m really scared all the time. I’m like very scared all the time.
Adam: Join the fucking club.
Hannah: No. Because I’m more scared than most people are when they say that they’re scared. I’m like the most scared person who’s alive.
Adam: Well you don’t have the right to be. I told you once I really commit to something I really fucking commit! You asked for this. And now your being a fucking bitch.
Hannah: Adam, come on. OK. you’re scared. I’m looking at you, I know your scared. You’re acting like you’re not but you are. I know you now we’ve been doing this for a while, I know you now.
Adam: Stop! Stop! You don’t know me! You don’t know shit about me!
Hannah: Get out of the street!
Adam: You don’t know me and you don’t know yourself. You think because you're, what, 11 pounds overweight you know struggle?
Hannah: I am 13 pounds overweight and it has been awful for me my whole life!
Adam: Holy fucking shit! Here’s the world smallest tiny violin playing My Heart Bleeds for You! Fuck you! You don’t know struggle. I’m a beautiful fucking mystery to you.
"You wish I had a fucking concussion...no, NO! Family only. Family only right? *looks at medic* Op family only you're not my fucking family. Don't let her in she's a monster."
And if you don't love Adam after reading ALL my favorite quotables, well then fuck you too more for me! But you can see the development in the character with just these quotes. Maybe I love him so much because this is the person I want Happenis to become. Maybe I like him because he's attractive. Maybe I just have a thing for skinny athletic built assholes. The world may never know.
"I have to warn you. The first time I fuck you I may scare you a little. Because I'm a man. And I know how to do things."
(That wasn't an Adam quote, it was some other dude, but you see why I love this fucking show)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
Which brings me to wonder: Can long term booty calls lead to long term relationships? Adam and Hannah were fucking for 6 months and finally her whining made something happen. And they seemed pretty happy. If you've been fucking the same person for a year plus, what's stopping you from being with them? You obviously like them enough to keep coming back a year later. You're both (hopefully) single. You have fun when you guys hang out and do other things besides have sex. If she can cook, keep a clean house, is good with kids, and has shown you that she is just an overall good woman, then what is truly stopping you? I feel like you can't let the fact that she fucked you on the first night so long ago or that this was strictly supposed to be casual stop you from trying. There's nothing worse than asking yourself what if. You could have been going through a string of failed relationships over the course of your "fucklationship" with the other girl, looking for that perfect girl, when she may have been under your nose the entire time. And if during that time you have yet to have a successful relationship, there really can't be any harm in just trying right? Worst case scenario it doesn't work out, and you guys can break up. And it's finished.
All I'm saying is, if you have a legit reason, then fine. But if the only thing stopping you a year later is "She fucked me on the first night" then you're stupid. And you might as well give it a go. Shit.
But anyways in order to understand why I love Adam so much you would have had to have watched the show. For those who haven't seen it, I sat thru 5 hours of reruns just to give you my favorite Adam-isms. In order.
"It gives me the freedom that I don't have to be anyone's slave. You should never be anyone's FUCKING slave. Except mine."
Adam: Lay on your stomach...grab your legs.Okay this is good. I'm gonna go get some lube...When I get back I want you in the exact same position. Just with the rest of the shit off.
Hannah: Will you get a condom?
Adam: I'lllllllllll...consider it!
Adam: Yeah you like that?
Hannah: I like it. I like everything you're doing.
Adam: I knew when I found you you wanted it this way
Hannah: Found me where?
Adam: In the street. Walking alone.
Hannah: We didn't met in the street we met at a party. Oh i got it- the street yeah walking the street.
Adam: You were a junkie. You were only 11. And you had your fucking cabbage patch lunch box
Hannah: Yeah and I was really scared when I saw you.
Adam: Fuck. You're a dirty little whore and I'm gonna send you home to your parent's covered in cum.
Hannah: Oh don't do that they're gonna be so angry.
Adam: Where do you want me to cum? face? pretty little tits? tummy? touch yourself!
Hannah: Where?
Hannah: We always use condoms.
Adam: Do we?
Hannah: Yeah. We used one last night.
Adam: Oh yeah, I guess we do. That's probably why it takes me 25 years to nut whenever I have sex with you.
“Look kid, I don’t know what you want from me. Do you want me to be your boyfriend? Is that it?! Do you want me to be your fucking boyfriend?!” (yes. yes I do.)
Hannah: If you don't like ice cream what do you like?
Adam: I like you.
"I promised myself that I would follow my gut. No matter what. And I do what makes me feel good"
"Yo skank where you at? Getting that pussy pounded? (it's my sister)"
"Don't waste time on guilt, Hannah. Holding onto toxic relationships is what keeps us from growing. You're blooming every time you shed a layer. Even closer to yourself."
"Jesus kid, save your strength. We're in it for the long haul."
“If you wanna fuck me from behind, at least put my hair back.”
Adam: You love yourself so much so why is it so crazy that someone else would too?
Hannah: I don’t love myself.
Adam: You’re the fucking worst. You know that? Because you think you’re not pretty. And you’re not a good writer. And you’re not a good friend. Well, you are pretty. And you are a good writer. And you are a good friend.
Hannah: Well thank you.
Adam: Is this the game? You chase me like I’m the fucking Beatles for six months and then I finally get comfortable and you shrug? What the FUCK is wrong with you?!
Hannah: I’m scared okay? I’m really scared all the time. I’m like very scared all the time.
Adam: Join the fucking club.
Hannah: No. Because I’m more scared than most people are when they say that they’re scared. I’m like the most scared person who’s alive.
Adam: Well you don’t have the right to be. I told you once I really commit to something I really fucking commit! You asked for this. And now your being a fucking bitch.
Hannah: Adam, come on. OK. you’re scared. I’m looking at you, I know your scared. You’re acting like you’re not but you are. I know you now we’ve been doing this for a while, I know you now.
Adam: Stop! Stop! You don’t know me! You don’t know shit about me!
Hannah: Get out of the street!
Adam: You don’t know me and you don’t know yourself. You think because you're, what, 11 pounds overweight you know struggle?
Hannah: I am 13 pounds overweight and it has been awful for me my whole life!
Adam: Holy fucking shit! Here’s the world smallest tiny violin playing My Heart Bleeds for You! Fuck you! You don’t know struggle. I’m a beautiful fucking mystery to you.
"You wish I had a fucking concussion...no, NO! Family only. Family only right? *looks at medic* Op family only you're not my fucking family. Don't let her in she's a monster."
And if you don't love Adam after reading ALL my favorite quotables, well then fuck you too more for me! But you can see the development in the character with just these quotes. Maybe I love him so much because this is the person I want Happenis to become. Maybe I like him because he's attractive. Maybe I just have a thing for skinny athletic built assholes. The world may never know.
"I have to warn you. The first time I fuck you I may scare you a little. Because I'm a man. And I know how to do things."
(That wasn't an Adam quote, it was some other dude, but you see why I love this fucking show)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
Friday, June 1, 2012
Never Have I Ever...
...been rejected before. In my life. Until the other night.Happenis Jr. certainly was a damn spot on nickname.
So a little bit of background on him. I was set up on a semi blind date with a retard and Happenis Jr. gave me a shot of gin and ended up chatting me up more than my so called "date" and we ended up exchanging numbers. We would text throughout the day when he talked me thru my first hangover (which was THEE worst; I never get hangovers. Idk what went wrong that night) and I went to visit him at work (upon his request, I wouldn't just "pop up" outta nowhere). We made plans to hang out again that night. Go to a party, drink a lil bit, and he invited me back to his house to go cuddle. Little did I know that's really all he wanted to do:/ We did a lot of that, and it felt nice to not have to sleep alone...although there wasn't any making out. He did, however, enjoy my ass. a LOT. He kissed it, bit it, and stuck his face in it lol. Guys are weird. He then goes on and on about how he's never been with a black girl before and how pretty I am and whatnot, just complimenting me all night.
Anyhow, we hung out again another night and he actually got me to take a hit off a bong and it was a lot better than that time with The Carnie. We watched cartoons and I thought Drawn Together was the funniest show ever invented. He had to be at work early the next morning so he said it was time for bed. I tried seducing him, but nothing. Fail. We hung out again and THIS time we played some old school Sega Dreamcast, and he proceeded to kick my ass in all these games I had never even heard of (except Tetris). After we finished, he suggested I do shrooms. Sir, hell no. Weed is my limit with you. He was trying to explain all the good things shrooms do to you but I wasn't impressed. So he was like "Well you should try wax". I've heard of it but I don't know exactly how they make it or anything, and he was like it's healthier than smoking actual grass. He could've just been talking out his ass but I thought I'd try it. He was like "Let's do it naked". Sure why not. We strip down and take a hit. I got a small one so it didn't do TOO much...but I knew I'd be hungry so I suggested we get some grub before I get too fucked up to drive. We got dressed then he made me take another hit, this time it was bigger. 'If you don't feel anything after this you're fucking immune to weed cause I just gave you a fat ass hit". Nothing happened until I started driving down the street. All of a sudden my whole body felt weird and the lights were blending together. I thought I was floating away! We get to the drive thru and I order the food and everything was all good til I pulled up to the window. I saw the drive thru employee dude and fucking LOST IT. I couldn't stop laughing for shit. Every time I looked over I laughed. Happenis Jr. kept asking me what was wrong with me and I just kept screaming "I DON'T KNOW DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!" It was so bad I couldn't even pull my debit card out my wallet. After struggling a bit I got it out but couldn't put it back in so I just stuck it between my legs. When th guy handed us our food I lost it again and couldn't move. I had to tell him to grab the food between laughing fits and he just kept asking what was wrong with me. The drive thru guy had to have been annoyed with me but I couldn't even explain what was going on without laughing. Happenis Jr. just made a smoking motion and the guy started laughing at me.We get back to his house and I just fucking demolished that ultimate bacon cheeseburger (hold the cheese). I went to go put on the movie again and so while I'm bent over he's just rubbing on my ass, slowly working his hands under my shorts and I look back at him and tell him he's supposed to be naked. He takes his clothes back off and goes on about how he trimmed his man bush (I wish it was completely gone but I hadn't shaved in like four days so ehh...) and then he shows me he's uncut by stuffing his peen into the foreskin. I told him with the most serious face ever not to do that shit again. He goes on telling me how keyed I am and I don't remember how or when I just remember being really wet. So I kinda straddled him, then got off and asked if I could get something out of his drawer.
"As long as it's not weed or cash."
I grabbed a condom and tossed it to the side of the bed. You know, just in case. He got up and then while he was on his knees just kinda wedged himself between my legs as if he wanted to do something but was hesitating. He was rubbing on my legs and asking me things I really can't remember and then he asked if my hood had any scars from having my piercing ripped out. I told him everything down there looks the same and that my vag wasn't purple like he thought so he goes oh let me see! I seriously felt like I was getting a pap the way he was down there examining. He told me I had a Mexican girl vag..whatever that means...then he laid down and told me I was gonna kiss and rub on him and I was like hmm...So I got on top of him and started caressing his arms a bit, then I kissed him and he didn't kiss me back. Odd. Finally enough of the games I asked him for some. He asked if I wanted his peen and I nodded. Then he asked if that's what I grabbed out the drawer and I nodded again. So he tells me to put it on. I was still a little too high and it was dark so he put it on instead and I rode him. It was all good til I got off wanting to switch positions. Then everything went to hell. He starts telling me he's sleepy ad he has work early in the morning. At first I thought he was joking, but he kept saying it over and over and I'm like look you aren't going to sleep. He gets up and starts rambling about how he's not supposed to be having sex and I'm thinking he's gonna start saying it's for religious reasons but no he starts talking about how he wants to "stay clean, no offense to you". And he starts telling me he doesn't really wanna have sex and that he just wants to be friends. I rolled over and kept saying "I understand" when I really had no idea what the fuck just happened. He asks if I'm mad at him. "Nope." and he gets up telling me I made him all wt and he goes to the bathroom. I should've made my break for it then but I was siting in a daze. Did that really just happen? I put my shorts back on and went to sleep. We didn't even cuddle that night.
The next morning I got up and got dressed and when he came back from the bathroom he was like "Oh you're ready to leave?" No shit. I didn't look him in the eyes and gave him a half assed hug before I drove away. I just wanted to cry. I know I washed my ass before I got there, and I barely had any hairs growing...Where the fuck did I go wrong? I know I wasn't being too aggressive, and he was sending me all kinds of hints, not to mention he wasn't complaining when I was on top! So where did all that other shit come from?! "Stay clean" mf'er we were using condoms wtf?! I'm still puzzled. He had invited me to a reggae show the next night and I had completely forgot. I probably would've still blown it off anyways had I remembered. I mean maybe he thought I would catch feelings if we continued? Honestly I only wanted you for sex and if we aren't having sex...then I really have no use for you, do I? The reggae show was at 9, and he called me at like 4:30 in the morning. I didn't answer...wonder what he wanted...
Someone enlighten me as to what the fuck went wrong.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
So a little bit of background on him. I was set up on a semi blind date with a retard and Happenis Jr. gave me a shot of gin and ended up chatting me up more than my so called "date" and we ended up exchanging numbers. We would text throughout the day when he talked me thru my first hangover (which was THEE worst; I never get hangovers. Idk what went wrong that night) and I went to visit him at work (upon his request, I wouldn't just "pop up" outta nowhere). We made plans to hang out again that night. Go to a party, drink a lil bit, and he invited me back to his house to go cuddle. Little did I know that's really all he wanted to do:/ We did a lot of that, and it felt nice to not have to sleep alone...although there wasn't any making out. He did, however, enjoy my ass. a LOT. He kissed it, bit it, and stuck his face in it lol. Guys are weird. He then goes on and on about how he's never been with a black girl before and how pretty I am and whatnot, just complimenting me all night.
Anyhow, we hung out again another night and he actually got me to take a hit off a bong and it was a lot better than that time with The Carnie. We watched cartoons and I thought Drawn Together was the funniest show ever invented. He had to be at work early the next morning so he said it was time for bed. I tried seducing him, but nothing. Fail. We hung out again and THIS time we played some old school Sega Dreamcast, and he proceeded to kick my ass in all these games I had never even heard of (except Tetris). After we finished, he suggested I do shrooms. Sir, hell no. Weed is my limit with you. He was trying to explain all the good things shrooms do to you but I wasn't impressed. So he was like "Well you should try wax". I've heard of it but I don't know exactly how they make it or anything, and he was like it's healthier than smoking actual grass. He could've just been talking out his ass but I thought I'd try it. He was like "Let's do it naked". Sure why not. We strip down and take a hit. I got a small one so it didn't do TOO much...but I knew I'd be hungry so I suggested we get some grub before I get too fucked up to drive. We got dressed then he made me take another hit, this time it was bigger. 'If you don't feel anything after this you're fucking immune to weed cause I just gave you a fat ass hit". Nothing happened until I started driving down the street. All of a sudden my whole body felt weird and the lights were blending together. I thought I was floating away! We get to the drive thru and I order the food and everything was all good til I pulled up to the window. I saw the drive thru employee dude and fucking LOST IT. I couldn't stop laughing for shit. Every time I looked over I laughed. Happenis Jr. kept asking me what was wrong with me and I just kept screaming "I DON'T KNOW DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!" It was so bad I couldn't even pull my debit card out my wallet. After struggling a bit I got it out but couldn't put it back in so I just stuck it between my legs. When th guy handed us our food I lost it again and couldn't move. I had to tell him to grab the food between laughing fits and he just kept asking what was wrong with me. The drive thru guy had to have been annoyed with me but I couldn't even explain what was going on without laughing. Happenis Jr. just made a smoking motion and the guy started laughing at me.We get back to his house and I just fucking demolished that ultimate bacon cheeseburger (hold the cheese). I went to go put on the movie again and so while I'm bent over he's just rubbing on my ass, slowly working his hands under my shorts and I look back at him and tell him he's supposed to be naked. He takes his clothes back off and goes on about how he trimmed his man bush (I wish it was completely gone but I hadn't shaved in like four days so ehh...) and then he shows me he's uncut by stuffing his peen into the foreskin. I told him with the most serious face ever not to do that shit again. He goes on telling me how keyed I am and I don't remember how or when I just remember being really wet. So I kinda straddled him, then got off and asked if I could get something out of his drawer.
"As long as it's not weed or cash."
I grabbed a condom and tossed it to the side of the bed. You know, just in case. He got up and then while he was on his knees just kinda wedged himself between my legs as if he wanted to do something but was hesitating. He was rubbing on my legs and asking me things I really can't remember and then he asked if my hood had any scars from having my piercing ripped out. I told him everything down there looks the same and that my vag wasn't purple like he thought so he goes oh let me see! I seriously felt like I was getting a pap the way he was down there examining. He told me I had a Mexican girl vag..whatever that means...then he laid down and told me I was gonna kiss and rub on him and I was like hmm...So I got on top of him and started caressing his arms a bit, then I kissed him and he didn't kiss me back. Odd. Finally enough of the games I asked him for some. He asked if I wanted his peen and I nodded. Then he asked if that's what I grabbed out the drawer and I nodded again. So he tells me to put it on. I was still a little too high and it was dark so he put it on instead and I rode him. It was all good til I got off wanting to switch positions. Then everything went to hell. He starts telling me he's sleepy ad he has work early in the morning. At first I thought he was joking, but he kept saying it over and over and I'm like look you aren't going to sleep. He gets up and starts rambling about how he's not supposed to be having sex and I'm thinking he's gonna start saying it's for religious reasons but no he starts talking about how he wants to "stay clean, no offense to you". And he starts telling me he doesn't really wanna have sex and that he just wants to be friends. I rolled over and kept saying "I understand" when I really had no idea what the fuck just happened. He asks if I'm mad at him. "Nope." and he gets up telling me I made him all wt and he goes to the bathroom. I should've made my break for it then but I was siting in a daze. Did that really just happen? I put my shorts back on and went to sleep. We didn't even cuddle that night.
The next morning I got up and got dressed and when he came back from the bathroom he was like "Oh you're ready to leave?" No shit. I didn't look him in the eyes and gave him a half assed hug before I drove away. I just wanted to cry. I know I washed my ass before I got there, and I barely had any hairs growing...Where the fuck did I go wrong? I know I wasn't being too aggressive, and he was sending me all kinds of hints, not to mention he wasn't complaining when I was on top! So where did all that other shit come from?! "Stay clean" mf'er we were using condoms wtf?! I'm still puzzled. He had invited me to a reggae show the next night and I had completely forgot. I probably would've still blown it off anyways had I remembered. I mean maybe he thought I would catch feelings if we continued? Honestly I only wanted you for sex and if we aren't having sex...then I really have no use for you, do I? The reggae show was at 9, and he called me at like 4:30 in the morning. I didn't answer...wonder what he wanted...
Someone enlighten me as to what the fuck went wrong.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
"I'm Sorry But The Vagina You Are Trying To Reach..."
Good peen will def make you act like an idiot. He fucks up, I get mad, he offers sex I willingly accept. No matter what he did, no matter the amount of anger or hurt or sadness he's ever made me feel I would always let him back, on the grounds that his peen is absolutely second to none. Where does one draw the fucking line??
A while back we had a mini fallout because he drunkenly told me he loved me and then told me he loved someone else two weeks later, the girl he had been on and off with for YEARS...and I knew if it ever came down to it he'd probably choose her over me in a heart beat. Two months later we "made up" aka had sex and it was all good I suppose. He told me he didn't love her anymore, and how much he tried being with her but she didn't wanna be with him (it's a bizarre-o love triangle) blah blah blah. Okay cool, now I have you, free from emotional baggage. Cause don't get me wrong, I knew I wouldn't have him to myself I knew we fucked other people, but it's just that. Fucking other people you don't really have feelings for. But just he thought of me coming in second place to someone he actually cares about, someone he has true feelings for didn't sit right with me. It's like a form of cheating (which I found out during the course of our fling thing he was in fact at one point her boyfriend, which makes him a cheater). Which is why I couldn't understand him admitting his love for her after we had JUST had sex. Like if you love her so much...why are you sitting in my car? Why did you even bother to text me? It would just be easier on me to not deal with a dude in a relationship, it would make me feel better to know that the reason you aren't spending the night isn't so you can crawl back into bed with your woman, but because you have to work early in the morning or some shit.
Anyways, he comes back to visit and he hits me up and I'm all excited cause I haven't seen him since January but alas I'm at work 2 hours away and don't have my car so I can't go see him. I was going to be back the next night tho! I hit him up when I got back, no answer. I hit him up again two days later, still no answer. I'm like tf is going on? I don't hit him up the remainder of the week, and I don't hear from him at all. Meanwhile everyone is telling me "Don't worry, you know he's gonna call you" and surprise, surprise, I don't hear from him. Then I notice his ex going off on him on twitter about him being a cheater which made me realize two things:
1. That I'm no longer a person he wants to fuck I'm just someone to fuck. Not like "I wanna have sex WITH HER right meow" more like "I wanna have sex...I guess I'll see what she's doing". Who knows how long I've been demoted to plan b...But I have no one to blame but myself. This is what I get for serving him pussy on demand and showing him I'm willing to travel two hours just to fuck him.
2. That the reason he was ignoring me more than likely because he was trying to rekindle something with his ex and not because he threw a bitch fit after I couldn't see him when he wanted. Which goes to show my blissfully oblivious ass that he isn't over her and he would rather just be with her.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I gotta draw the line at choosing up. (I know he's probably reading this since he knows I call him Happenis). I have no problem with you choosing up, and by no means do I want you to be unhappy. If going after that makes you happy, then by all means do what you gotta do! Just leave me out of the middle of it. I don't wanna be your rebound for when you're mad at her or when you're in an "off" season, just for you to leave me and go back to her after you kiss and make up. You chose up not once, but twice. So that says something about what you really want. Even tho it's just sex I like being a top priority. I don't like coming in second for shit. If I'm at the bottom of the priority list that means I'm not a true priority so you can just scratch me off. I'm sorry but the ninja kitty is no longer at your disposal 24/7, so don't ask.
And that's all I really have to say about that.
Moving right along...
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
A while back we had a mini fallout because he drunkenly told me he loved me and then told me he loved someone else two weeks later, the girl he had been on and off with for YEARS...and I knew if it ever came down to it he'd probably choose her over me in a heart beat. Two months later we "made up" aka had sex and it was all good I suppose. He told me he didn't love her anymore, and how much he tried being with her but she didn't wanna be with him (it's a bizarre-o love triangle) blah blah blah. Okay cool, now I have you, free from emotional baggage. Cause don't get me wrong, I knew I wouldn't have him to myself I knew we fucked other people, but it's just that. Fucking other people you don't really have feelings for. But just he thought of me coming in second place to someone he actually cares about, someone he has true feelings for didn't sit right with me. It's like a form of cheating (which I found out during the course of our fling thing he was in fact at one point her boyfriend, which makes him a cheater). Which is why I couldn't understand him admitting his love for her after we had JUST had sex. Like if you love her so much...why are you sitting in my car? Why did you even bother to text me? It would just be easier on me to not deal with a dude in a relationship, it would make me feel better to know that the reason you aren't spending the night isn't so you can crawl back into bed with your woman, but because you have to work early in the morning or some shit.
Anyways, he comes back to visit and he hits me up and I'm all excited cause I haven't seen him since January but alas I'm at work 2 hours away and don't have my car so I can't go see him. I was going to be back the next night tho! I hit him up when I got back, no answer. I hit him up again two days later, still no answer. I'm like tf is going on? I don't hit him up the remainder of the week, and I don't hear from him at all. Meanwhile everyone is telling me "Don't worry, you know he's gonna call you" and surprise, surprise, I don't hear from him. Then I notice his ex going off on him on twitter about him being a cheater which made me realize two things:
1. That I'm no longer a person he wants to fuck I'm just someone to fuck. Not like "I wanna have sex WITH HER right meow" more like "I wanna have sex...I guess I'll see what she's doing". Who knows how long I've been demoted to plan b...But I have no one to blame but myself. This is what I get for serving him pussy on demand and showing him I'm willing to travel two hours just to fuck him.
2. That the reason he was ignoring me more than likely because he was trying to rekindle something with his ex and not because he threw a bitch fit after I couldn't see him when he wanted. Which goes to show my blissfully oblivious ass that he isn't over her and he would rather just be with her.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I gotta draw the line at choosing up. (I know he's probably reading this since he knows I call him Happenis). I have no problem with you choosing up, and by no means do I want you to be unhappy. If going after that makes you happy, then by all means do what you gotta do! Just leave me out of the middle of it. I don't wanna be your rebound for when you're mad at her or when you're in an "off" season, just for you to leave me and go back to her after you kiss and make up. You chose up not once, but twice. So that says something about what you really want. Even tho it's just sex I like being a top priority. I don't like coming in second for shit. If I'm at the bottom of the priority list that means I'm not a true priority so you can just scratch me off. I'm sorry but the ninja kitty is no longer at your disposal 24/7, so don't ask.
And that's all I really have to say about that.
Moving right along...
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
Friday, December 23, 2011
Word Vomit pt. I
OMG yes I know that December is almost over, 2011 is almost over and I only have this one blog post to show for it. I've been dealing with quite a lot lately, so Ima try to cram as much as possible without making your brain hurt.
Punk Ass Bitch a.k.a. Happenis
Not even gonna lie he was mainly responsible for my break in posting. If you follow my tumblr you already know why. For those that don't, what basically happened was this.
(Side Note: fuck it, this is just gonna be like a 3 part blog I post in queue over the weekend. Enjoy and Merry Christmas, happy holidays and all that jazz...)
I was dealing with a drought as I have been lately and I heard Happenis was in town. I was at work and hour and a half away and he told me to come home. So I did, flying 90mph all the way to get to him as soon as possible just to have him tell me "nvm". Bitch. That was the night the whole fiasco with the Sexsomniac happened. The next day I hit up Happenis to see if he was still in town (he was) and I went to go see him. Usually when I go pick him up we leave, he always calls when he's finished partying and ready for a nightcap. Well tonight was different. I told him I was outside and he tells me to come in. Weird. As soon as he opened the door I was just like Hey" and he says "Can I kiss you?" Very weird. I kinda peck him and he tells me no, that he wants a REAL kiss. So he grabs my face and KISSES me and tells me he's feeling romantic today. He introduces me to the people in the house and starts acting even weirder. He's kissing me on the forehead, holding my hands, calling me babe every two seconds, just acting all kinds of lovey dovey which is HIGHLY outta his character. I can count on one hand on the different occasions where we've kissed. He even put his stupid beanie on my head and called me his little "beanie baby". Then he dropped this bomb that I didn't know how to take at the time.
"You piss me off a thousand times a month but I still fucking love you."
He might have had fucking in it but he said IT. I didn't say it back I was just kinda shell shocked and asked him why I piss him off. Then it's going back to being lovey dovey. Once his friends retire to their rooms we have sex behind the couch and then head off to go get tacos. On the way there he's holding my hands as we drive, kissing me at red lights..I would be a damn lie if I said I didn't enjoy every minute of it tho...still calling me babe as we chill at the taco shop. I had absolutely no idea where all this emotion was coming from, but I figured I would just roll with it. That's all I've ever done. I watch him and I act accordingly.
That's where I fucked up. I should've never let my guard down to begin with. Shortly after everything went to shit. He came into town for Thanksgiving and I decided I wanted to show him I'm thankful for his dick that I have grown so fondly of. Never during the course of this "fucklationship" have I ever sent him any kind of sexy pics. I always had this feeling that if I did he would just make me feel stupid like "Okay why did you send me this". But I decided to just do it. I hit him up after all the Thanksgiving festivities had subsided and I sent him a pic. The response I got was fucking hilarious I will admit, but I still hate his ass:
"You want my cock sooooo bad. But it'll cost you though. I don't do black friday deals"
The cost? Condoms. The fuck? I thought it was weird cause we NEVER used em. We tried twice and it didn't last long whatsoever. Red flag. I was thinking either he had something and didn't wanna tell me...or it was something else. I knew I didn't give him anything because the few times I did fuck around I made sure I handled my business. And I never pressed the condom issue with him because I always got tested and my tests were always blemish free, and he told me he wasn't fucking around and that he felt comfortable with me and blah blah blah BULLSHIT. Somewhere deep down I knew he was fucking around but I thought I was the only person he wasn't using protection with. I'm still not sure of it now. He asks me to bring him a taco too and I obviously oblige him like an idiot. I pick him up and get into a little backseat action. He put on the condom, I lubed up and slid down the pole. At this point the sex was still really good, but just became like standard. Once we finished we drove around listening to slow jams. This is the same dude who wouldn't have sex with me with music on in the background because it's "too emotional" or whatever the fuck he said. The music I was tryna play wasn't even slow jams! Anyways he's smoking a black and mild, I'm enjoying the music and my post sex high. We drive to this little outlook over the river and he tells me this:
"Have you ever been in love before? Because there's this girl...I love her dude...Like really love her. I mean, I couldn't be in love with YOU...you know? Cause this is just sex and all...
I was just in shock. I asked him why the fuck he was telling me that and honestly I don't even remember his response. It was all just a blur. Him saying he couldn't be in love with me didn't bother me as much as him telling me he was in love with another bitch before his dick even had a chance to get soft. Who the fuck does that?! I honesty do not give a fuck even if it WAS just sex why would you blatantly be an asshole?! I just sat in my car in silence. I felt like a prisoner in my own damn car. He tried asking me what was bothering me, and if I wanted to hug it out. No you smug ass bastard I do NOT WANNA hug the shit out. I just dropped him off and left feeling odd. In my mind I was the main bitch, the first of many. Come to find out I was one of many, just a number. I wasn't even his favorite! I think how could we see each other so much and you find time to LOVE someone else? What really got me was the fact that after he shared his "feelings" with me I opened myself up and only got burned. The feelings I told myself I couldn't have for that man, I let myself feel them with no shame. Why?! Why the fuck did I do that...So what he told me he loved me I should've kept my stupid ass feelings to myself unless he tried to commit. Then I could've saved myself a ton of fucking trouble. But I mean can you honestly blame me? He was being so extra that night...If I have any male readers out there enlighten me. Would you act like you had feelings for someone when you really don't? Mind you, it's not like he was getting anything from me out the ordinary. We already know he doens't have to pull the lovey dovey shit with me to get what he wants all he really has to say is "come over" and like a damn dog I'm on my way. So if he has nothing to gain by acting that way why would he do it?
It gets worse.
Remember when I went to his house up in east jesus nowhere and we got into that argument of him accusing me of sleeping with my friend? Well I went back up there once he was gone and went to party it up. He came back unexpectedly (from the alleged love of his life's house) and I didn't know how I felt about it so I went to bed early. The next morning he comes downstairs when I'm watching tv and he tells me good morning. If looks could fucking kill...I couldn't figure out why he was even talking to me I would've rather he ignored me. But I said sup as not to be rude and he goes on about his business. I decide to make tacos for lunch and my friend asks me why I was being such a bitch to him this morning when he was just trying to be nice. I wanna know why I have to be nice after that shit he pulled...I tell him I'm making tacos and he's welcome to join us. He says cool thanks, but hangs out at the neighbors house all day simply because I'm in his house. I Go on a walk with two girls I meet up there and one of them shares a situation with her dude that's similar to mine. So I open up about the situation I'm in and feel somewhat better. She tells me I'm better off without him anyways and I'm a great girl. We'll get back to this bitch later.
Only after the tacos are finished does Happenis make a guest appearance. I even made guac for that asshole knowing he likes it on his tacos. He gives me a sheepish half assed thank you that everyone can hear, eats the taco and goes back next door. Bitch was first in line for them. I retreat upstairs and come down a lil later that night to see him playing bp with the girl he fucked the night he moved up there. He told me he only fucked her once on her birthday, but honestly I didn't care if he fucked her once or a hundred times. They're acting all extra and I'm just like hmm...okay. Mind you this bitch doesn't like me. The first time I went up there she was always at their house and the weekend I come up she's magically "busy" and doesn't come back til I leave. But she sees me and she's like oh hey how are you feeling?" Once again, if looks could kill you phony ass bitch...But so I didn't look like a bitch in front of everyone I said I was fine. Her ass was being all extra
Monday, October 10, 2011
What The Fucking Shit...
I know everyone was all excited about the return of Happenis and hearing about how the drought ended but I’m sooo sorry it was short lived. Something is really wrong with him. Everyone would always say he’s an asshole, what do you see in him, leave him alone and I would always stick up for him because he had never been a straight up asshole TO ME. And now after about a year he decides to show his fucking ass. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m mad as hell and want nothing to do with him anymore but I’m not about to sit here and be like “Yeah that’s why your dick is small and I faked it every time” or some shit. That would be a lie before god. Sucks cause everyone knows how much I enjoyed sexy time. But all that shit has got to stop.
I told you guys how he moved to east jesus nowhere a couple months back. Well I have some friends that also live up there that I’ve been trying to visit. So while he was in town I went up there to go see them. My friend that lives up there told me Happenis was talking shit like “I don’t like her, I don’t wanna be around her, and if she comes it better not be when I’m there” which I found odd because the very first thing he did when he got back into town was called me! And 8 inches deep he wasn’t singing that same tune let me tell you…I was just like whatever and chalked it up to him putting on a show for his friend in the “oh I don’t like her AROUND YOU GUYS” type shit. Cause let me tell you, if i tell someone I don’t like you, I mean that shit. Anyways, then I found out he asked my friend if he was gonna fuck me when I came to visit. Um…no? He is like my fucking brother and I’m not even attracted to him. After the drought ended eh asked me if I was gonna fuck him saying that’s what my friend told him. What actually happened was my friend was drunk when he called em and asked me if I was going to “dick HIM down”. A fucking joke. I’m thinking Happenis calm yo ass down. Anyways I go up there and have a great ass time and don’t sleep with anyone…And then my other friend is like “Oh yeah Happenis took pictures of his room to make sure you don’t fuck with his shit.” I want nothing of his!
I get back into town and text him because I know he’s going back in a few days and this is when all hell breaks loose. He keeps questioning why I would drive 5 hours just to go “visit” my friend (when he threw those shady ass quotes I got mad cause I knew what his stupid ass was implying)because said friend isn’t doing anything with his life. I’m sorry, but even if I did wanna go fuck my friend, or anyone else for that matter, why the fuck do you care about what they’re doing with their life?! There was a point in time where you weren’t in school or working and just partied too. He keeps tryna make me admit to some shit that never happened and tells me “I know how I left my bed so if it’s different then I’ll know for sure. I knew you were coming over so I put my stuff and bed a certain way so i’ll know” Know what for sure? that someone was in your room? You’ve been gone for 8 days it could’ve been anyone so stfu. Then on top of that there are 3 other beds in that house. Why would I pick yours out of all of them?! He then tells me I can’t go up there to visit anymore and I’m like excuse me why the fuck not and he makes this shit about HIM again
“I just don’t want you up there. Our fucklationship is strictly business and you know this. The game can’t get twisted. we fuck. That’s it. Done deal. No I love you, lets hang out, what are you doing type of shit basically no feelings are involved. ya know?”
Inneresting that he thinks when I go up there to go visit my friends I’m gonna go an try to fuck with him. For as long as I’ve been fucking with him I’ve never tried to invite his ass out to lunch or take h9im to the movies or none of that ridiculous shit. All I needed him to do was fuck me, which he did, and everyone was happy. I already told him I knew about that shit he was talking on me going up there and how I went up there when he WASN’T there. Then he said some shit that made no sense to me. If it makes sense to you please clarify.
“Bitches choose. You could have fucked anyone the first night we met at my house but you chose me. aka you chose…me!”
I’ve reread that text a thousand times and it still makes no sense to me.
“I have no problem fucking you. But when you start going to my place 5 hours away to someone who isn’t changing their life just to “visit”. Then I have a problem.”
Well. You’re not the only one who lives there so it isn’t just YOUR house. All your roommates except maybe one and I don’t really like him back either like me and have no problem with me coming over. What the fuck is the REAL problem is what I’m trying to figure out. It can’t be just because he isn’t doing anything with his life I refuse to believe that shit. It is goofy beyond belief and if that’s what gets your manties in a bunch then well…build a bridge and get the fuck over that shit. If you really didn’t care about me the way you say you do then you really shouldn’t give two fucks about who I decide to fuck. Whether it be a billionaire or a bum. This whole conversation had my heart racing because I had no idea where it came from. Imagine me expecting to get some dick and having to deal with this shit, explaining myself for nothing. Finally he was just like fuck it just come over so we can talk about this shit. First thing he said when he got into my back seat was why is the seat so far back. I told him that’s how he left it and he was like no I didn’t. He left it like that after we got tacos the other night but whatever…once again why do you care if I had another dude in the car…I ask him why does he think I already fucked my friend and why he think s I went up there to go fuck him and he kept saying he knew we’ve fucked and blah blah blah. I owe him nothing therefore I have no reason to lie to him. I’ve never fucked that man. Ever. And he tells me apparently my friend told his roommate that I did. Which is a lie my friend would never say that shit. He barely even likes black girls like that. SO we get passed that and start talking about why I can’t go to his house to visit and he keeps thinking the shit is about him. I explain to him I’m not even gonna be around him I’m gonna be hanging out with my friends and he’s like so if I’m downstairs the whole time you’re gonna be upstairs? Basically. I mean don’t get me wrong, fucking him would be in the back of my mind, but I wouldn’t try to initiate the shit. I’d let him do that. Other than that I’m going up there to have a good time and get drunk with my boys. He seems to think that my world revolves around him and it doesn’t. I DO have self control…Then he asks me why I always get mad when we don’t have sex…and I was just like is that a serious fucking question? Seeing to how this is “just sex” if I’m not getting any I don’t need you around. Thank you much. He also asked why I always keep everything bottled in and I was thinking because this. is. JUST. sex. The less talking the better. Then for the majority of the night he just wanted to bitch and complain about his roommates and ask me the whole “where do you see yourself in 5 years” shit, ask me about stripping, which I also think he has a big problem with, but why should he? He doesn’t care about me remember? Then there’s just silence. I’m sitting in the front driver seat, he’s in the back passenger seat. I don’t look at him…he asks if I wanna have sex. It’s like I instinctively said yes, even though I was starting to hate his guts. Shouldn’t say hate, but I was left sooo fucking confused…and the texts stung a bit…but I got in the back seat anyways. He fingered me and waited til I was wet before he sat me in his lap and I rode him for a little bit. He pushed me back against the seat and spread my legs so he could watch it slide in an out. Then we switched to stuffing me between the seats and he took over and before I knew it, it was over. I grabbed a napkin, wiped myself off and started getting dressed. He looked at me and said “what about me?” I threw the napkin at him, got in the front seat, fixed my seat, turned the car on and was ready to go before he was even out of the car. Normally I’m such a fucking happy camper after we have sex I’ll stick around and just bask in a post orgasm flush…but tonight I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It was so…different. It wasn’t the same. At all…
I went to bed to try to forget everything that happened and as soon as I woke up I couldn’t think about anything else. I was pissed I didn’t pick up my vicodin prescription because that would’ve helped a lot but eh…
Sorry to bore you with all this drama:/ He doesn’t deserve the name Happenis anymore because there is no more happy associated with that man.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Remember Me? I Was Your Friend When You Were Single...
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)