Lonely Bitch Diaries

Well. Welcome to 2014. I'm still the no dick gettin-est bitch out here. Tryna go out and expand my options and never meet anyone I'm interested in. My only hope reneged on his part of our verbal agreement. ***FOR THE RECORD: If you offer me butt sex, you have to follow thru with it! It's just the rules okay?!***. So anyways let me tell you about the bullshit from last night.

A few of my colleagues decided to go out and celebrate our last night together as a group. The ORIGINAL plan was to take a group on a late night field trip to what used to be my fave 24hr sex toy shop. Then one of my coworkers was so adamant on getting drinks first that we went to a dive bar to have A drink. Then he started buying everyone shots of fireball aka my kryptonite and before I knew it a bitch was drunk. Everything after that is a little fuzzy but I spent 80 fucking dollars on a fancy vibrator with the clit tickler thingie, batteries, and two diff types of lube. Idk who the fuck I thought I was! Pay day clearly had me trippin. Got home and was too drunk to try it out. Woke up this morning hung over like shit and I opened my underwear drawer and there it sat. I looked at it, got semi excited and thought, "What the hell, I already bought it and I can't return it. Let's see what the hype is about." I had read horror stories (depending on how you look at it) of women who don't leave their houses or like 3 days when they buy a good vibe. I don't want nor need those kind of problems! So my first real issue with this stupid vibrator is that it's the kind you use for penetration. So I'm tryna like...stick it in and I just felt stupid. It felt weird like I was stuffing a zucchini up there. I'm not big on masturbation already, I do it out of pure necessity these days. And even then its just clit stimulation. Easy peasy. If I'm going to be penetrated it better be with a real life fucking penis attached to a strapping young lad. But I still decided to give it a shot. so I got it in and turned it on. I'm pretty sure the bitch that sold me that shit said it was supposed to hit my g-spot and that shit did NOT. I said fuck this shit and pulled it out and just used it on the outside. I mean it got the job done, but not for no fuckin' $50! There were no Earth shattering, screamin O's or anything. Just a little "mmmm OOOF" and a basic warm flush.

I knew I had zero business in that sex toy shop. I knew it. But my dumb drunk ass just HAD to go inside.
When will the madness stop?
WHEN WILL SOMEONE GET TO SEE MY FUCKING PIERCING???
Ugh. Going to bed mad and alone. All shaved up for absolutely nothing. Can I get a little more "fuck me" and a lot less "fuck my life"? Thanks in advance.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Been Gone For A Minute...

...Now I'm back with the jump off. Nah but really...I have missed blogging like A LOT A LOT so i figure I can catch everyone up on what's been going on and shit I do and don't like and whatever else I feel like rambling about today.

So waaaaaaaay back I told you I had sex with this black dude. And it was kinda nice. But lo and behold he is just a piece of shit human being. For the simple fact that he not only had sex with me with no intentions of keeping this on a casual basis (despite what he originally said) he did it the night before he went on a date with his now baby mama to be. Just TRIFLIN. And I wasn't even the one sexually pursuing him! I would've just been cool staying friends and telling him all my man problems but noooo. He'd rather risk a friendship over some pussy. Smh. I was pissed because he knew this the whole time and we were good friends prior to the whole sex thing which makes me feel like he played me as his friend. And you don't play your friends. Lol.

Then there's Sexsomniac's bitch ass. Everything was cool with him...then I met this guy I thought I was really starting to like so I just kinda stopped replying to his late night drunk texts, because in some odd way I felt guilty. And plus I didn't wanna tell him we can't have sex because of another dude, because if shit doesn't work out with said dude (which it ISN'T) I didn't wanna lose out on my clutch! Well, we all know how he likes to bring me around his lady friends (like a dumb ass). I mean SERIOUSLY. What do you call a dude who brings his fuck buddy (I really hate that term.....trying to come up with a better word for it lol) around every one of his new girlfriends when the both of you already know he's going to cheat? And I mean he wastes no time. There's never a relationship nesting period with him. He will have gotten with the bitch the day before and still hit me up talking about "Let's have sex". Bitch. NO. Go away. This shit is beYOND old by now and I'm over the shit. Oh, and now the chick he isn't dating but calls him babe and posts pics on ig with, I work with her. Sir, your dick is not good enough to lose my job over.

Oh yeah. I have a "regular" job now. It sucks donkey dick. Corporate america, direct deposit, uncle sam, bi-weekly paychecks and everything can kiss my hi yella ass, btw. I hate this life. I wish there was a popular club that wasn't a million miles away that I could work at because I am not adjusting to the normal life very well. I feel poor as fuck. And that is not a good feeling! I like, NEED to finish school and become a coroner already because I like to have nice things and I don't like having to budget. First world problems, poor me:(

Anyways, It's taken everything inside of me not to call him out around his bitch. Some days I wish I was a messy ass hoodrat...but I'm not . So I be quiet. But when he leave........best believe I be talkin again.

Then there was the Puerto Rican. Everything was lovely, the head was great, the sex was great, the weed was great EVERYTHING WAS GREAT. Then one day we were hanging out and I just looked at him and thought, "You know, I don't think I really like you!" and the shit went downhill from there. I started not wanting to hang out with our friends together, because I hated the idea of showing up WITH him. Like here THEY come. As if we're a package deal. I'm my own person, as is he, and that's that. I felt like the less I was starting to like him the more he started to like me, which was a shitty sitchy within itself. Now that whole "It's not you, it's me" cliche makes a ton of fucking sense! Because he literally didn't do anything! Then I started to loathe the idea of us having sex. And essentially that was all this was anyways so once the sex stops being fun...I mean when you get to a point where you don't even want them giving you head...like this shit goes DEEP. I feel like such a horrible person. But you shouldn't have to force things right?

Please don't hold my hand after sex.
Please don't ever fucking call what we do LOVE MAKING. EVER IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE.
Don't give my vag any goofy ass 4 year old names. We're fucking grown. And that shit is kinda creepy.
Unless I pursue you fully knowing you have a gf...don't bother fucking talking to me.
Have you ever just been disgusted by a person you used to like a lot? Like the idea of them pointing their erection even remotely in your direction makes you queasy? No..? Just me? Fuuuuuuh.
I find out everything. I'm one cunning sneaky ass bitch.
I'm kinda semi involuntarily celibate right now, which sucks. But then again you know me, I don't settle.
My mechanic is harrassing me again. Mind you I only hung out with him once on my birthday like two years ago. And all we did was drive around town. I mean why are you randomly calling me at 4 in the afternoon? Shouldn't you be working? And stop sending me requests on fb!
When I stop fucking with you I really stop fucking with you. DO yourself a favor and just stop trying. You're only making it harder on yourself, and I'm trying to be nice here
I really miss my vertical clit hood piercing. Like a lot a lot.
I had sex for a week straight. Did not end well. Some people are better suited for sex once a week, or every other week. Once a day is too much stress for some people's bodies. Not mine.
I have had the weirdest reoccurring fantasy about anal. I've done it like twice not too long ago...and I kinda wanna do it more than once in a blue moon.
Be a man with me. Grab your balls and fucking assert yourself. Don't be a fucking pussy. One thing I hate is a weak man. I like manly men. That know how to man handle me. I hate passive aggressive dudes.
Do guys ask for butthole pics? Do girls randomly send them? I need answers.
I'm not a nympho.

OHandihadsexwithhappenisliketwiceanditwasamazingbothtimesdontjudgemekbye.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Stripper Slander + Our Birthday

I've had this blog for 3 years now. And I post nowhere near as much as I did when I started. And I apologize. I gotta fix this. I'll post on the Puerto Rican soon, the jury is still out on him as of now. Eh.

I have been putting this blog off for so long and I have no clue why. I think it's important. You all have really gotta stop letting music videos and "The Player's Club" shape your ideals of strippers. While some may be true, it's not true for the majority of us. It cracks me up how much people will talk down on us, make assumptions about what we do, but then look at me and go "But not you! You're cool." Yeah, WHATEVER. That's basically how you feel behind my back. Like if I say all Asians drive like shit and then look at my nearest Asian friend and go "But you drive better than them!" I'm still talking shit on her indirectly. I think it's dumb. If that's how your small minded ass feels about strippers as a whole, then fine. But don't try to tell me you didn't mean me like I'm stupid. And the funny thing is it's mainly the people who have never been inside a strip club that have the most shit to say. Go shut the fuck up and fly a damn kite.
People have this idea that we're all sex addicts who fuck people at work for 20 bucks. That we all have daddy issues or were molested as children. Like nobody could ever WANT to be a stripper. Well, lo and behold I actually LIKE my job. I wasn't raped or touched or anything, my relationship with my dad is fine. And the LAST thing I want to do is fuck a customer, ESPECIALLY for 20 bucks. I'm the laziest stripper you know. I try to do as little as possible for as much money as possible. Of course I have to work it a bit and turn my customer on, but once they start talking about sex it's time to go. All the clubs I've worked at, there's only a small percentage of girls using the club as a cover for their hooking activities, and they usually get caught soon after. Mostly, everyone just wants to dance and make money, and only dance. And if someone wants to pay me for sex there's going to be at least 3 zeros attached to whatever their offer is because if you can drop thousands on sex you can drop much more on other things. But that's neither here nor there.
And not all strippers are single working at the club hoping to get a man. So stop falling in love at the strip club. A good number either have boyfriends, are married, or don't even like men. What gets on my nerves is when guys come in talking about "I'm not gonna pay for a lap dance, I'd rather pay for your dinner." Bitch I can buy my own dinner thanks. How are you gonna come into my job, waste my time, and still expect me to want to go on a date with you? I don't get paid hourly, and I'm not there to find a man. I'm there to make money. And if you aren't talking business, get the fuck out the club. Why are you even there to begin with with no money?! Nobody except the dumb girls has time for that unless you're really balling, which most of the ones looking for dates aren't. And no, we don't wanna go back to your place to "party". You can go home alone. Or go to the hoe stroll. The look on dudes faces when you tell them get a hooker and they're like "I'd NEVER." you came into the club looking for someone to pay for sex. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.................
Oh, my favorite line is "You're too pretty to be here" or "do you have kids?" Well, are only ugly girls supposed to be strippers? I don't think people would go to clubs if all the girls were ugly. And yes I have 10 kids and I'm working here to support them -___________-. I'm just here to make more money than a minimum wage job. That's all. I'm not gonna be here for the rest of my life and when I get phased out be like "fuck. I have no skills. Now what?" Shit we go to school, we have day jobs! We're not all coked out working just enough to get our next fix. I'm not gonna be young and pretty forever, why not capitalize on it? Shit I pay my way thru school! *Gasp* yes, I go to school. I have goals and ambitions and they don't stop on stage. 
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr why am I even wasting my breath when I know 9 times outta 10 people will still refuse to be open minded about shit. I can talk until I'm blue in the face, yet you'll watch "The Player's Club" and swear up and down that's how it is. Hmph. Welp. I'll just continue what I'm doing and if a dude has ever slandered dancers and ends u pin my DM box talking about "Let's kick it" I'm blasting his ass. You can call us hoes and unwifeable and shit and the best I can do is turn you down and prove you wrong, at least speaking for myself. All I'm saying is open your minds and grow the fuck up.

Yeah nobody is listening.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Eater

I said I was gonna write a blog about cheating and figure what better time than now to do it, because I swear that's all I've been dealing with lately. So I guess I am taken man's kryptonite. I can't seem to figure out how I keep attracting guys with girlfriends. I don't go stalking them out, the shit seems to happen that way. Aside from a few exceptions, I don't really tolerate that shit. Actually, what I don't tolerate is a guy lying about being in a relationship. Especially if I find out about it, and I always do because men are idiots. I've already said let me be a home wrecking jezebel on my on accords. Perfect example lemme tell you what's been going on this past week.
So I'm at my fave place the bar talking to my friends minding my business. My girl friend says she doesn't wanna drink and I'm like then bitch you can't sit with us lol it's a bar! She's like "No I don't wanna get drunk tonight because I'm not gonna get laid" and I tell her well me either but I'm still gonna drink. So this skeevy ass bartender that I always see who never speaks decides to chime in today. He asks why I'm going home alone and I tell him because men can't get with the program (we're all familiar with my luck). He goes I can def get with your program with a winky face and I'm just like yeaaaaaaaah...where's my drink. So I'm talking and he comes by and slides me a note that says "I can eat a peach for an hour!" and I was just horrified. I mean he's not ugly but he's def not my type. At all. I show my friends and we have a laugh and then he comes BACK with a pen and says "I'll just leave this here in case you wanna write something. Did you like your note?" And I gave him a sarcastic ass two thumbs up, because that wasn't creepy at all. My drunk self felt bullied into giving him my number but I didn't think anything of it. A few days later he hits me up and I didn't respond. Then I get on fb and see my friend post a pic of a dinner and she tagged some guy with the same name as the bartender. Hmm. Wait a sec. She worked at that bar too for a while. Coincidence? I click his name and sure enough it says he's a bartender at that bar. The odds of there being two bartenders with the same name was slim to none. I checked her mobile pics and well well well if it isn't the ginger with no soul! The next time he hit me up I took the opporitunity to do some digging. Sure enough he hits me up talking about "hey you wanna make out for a little bit?" First off, who does that to a basically complete stranger? How gay. So I immediately asked for his last name and he goes "Why? Just a funny question?" Seriously? You can offer to eat me out for an hour but I can't know your last name? What kinda sneaky hoe shit is that...So he lies and gives me a fake name but at this point I already know he's lying. Then he tries rushing me, making it a point to tell me if I want anything from him we only have an hour. Could my friend possibly be getting off work in an hour sir? I almost blew my cover saying what a small world but then I redeemed myself saying his fake name sounded familiar. Then he tells me he's great in bed with a big dick and I'm just like ewwww. And when I don't reply? He calls me. Cause that's what you're supposed to do when someone doesn't respond to your creepy texts. Finally he's just like "We can just be friends if you want I just like looking at you at the bar. I know you see people and so do I but if you want we can keep this on the dl;) feel free to send some pics and I'll send some back. This is going to be fun;)" Great. Downplay your LTR.
After a few different opinions and some thinking I decided to tell my friend. We were close in high school and didn't really have a fallout, just grew apart. But we were still cool when we ran into each other. I finally messaged her and asked her to call me and I kidd you not literally within 5 minutes of sending that cheating ass bastard texts me begging me not to tell her because "he loves her with all his heart and they have a perfect little family with his daughter (not hers) and he knew he messed up by taking my number and he understands if I need to tell her but to let him do this on his own so he doesn't lose her". He begged me to text him back. Bitch your sob story is not my problem!!!

SIDEBAR: That's another thing I can't stand. If you're gonna cheat you better be ready to be all fucking in. I can't stand whiney ass babies who have buyer's remorse not because the merchandise was defective (NEVER THAT) but because they miss their old stand by. If you can't handle that shit DON'T DO IT! And ESPECIALLY don't try and guilt trip me with your fuck ass sob stories either. I'm not the one in a fucking relationship you better go lay on a chaise lounge and talk your problems out with a therapist because that shit ain't in my job description. Like why are you telling the girl you cheated with all your relationship problems?! As if we give a fuck! Shit I don't!!!

Anyways, my loyalties lie with my friend and if you think I'm gonna do you a favor think otherwise. I would NEVER fuck a boyfriend or even an ex of my friends whether we're close or not. I will fuck someone's boyfriend if I don't know the girl. But if I know you I would never do that I will always do right by my friends. And If you wanna get into ethics and shit I'm pretty sure you don't treat strangers the same way you treat your friends hence why they have different titles. And clearly this man thinks I'm an idiot if he thinks I'm just gonna be like "Okay as long as you tell her." The odds of him telling her everything is slim to none. As casually as he sent that note I know he had done this before without batting an eyelash or thinking about his perfect little family. If you love her with all your heart like you say you do you wouldn't be doing her like this. She deserves way better than that.
She hits me up and I tell her what went down and the fucked up shit is that a day after I left the bar she went in. And she was at work that day he asked if I wanted to come over. She thanked me for telling her, glad I gave him my number because if it was anyone else he would've gotten away with it. Told her no problem and to hit me up if she needed anything else. Don't know what happened after we stopped talking but I hope she makes the best decision for her. And if she stays with him he better get his shit together.

So there's that. Another scenario is this boy I've been seeing every now and then, he has a gf too (I'll blog about the first time I fucked him. Insane.) The difference here is he's single when we hook up, but the next day they're back together again. The first time it bothered me. The second it made me laugh because now I knew the game, the only problem was he refused to acknowledge it. Like dude, idc if you are always on and off with your girlfriend. Clearly you like having sex with me and I like it too so if you wanna just do this and keep it on the low I'm cool with that. Just use your big boy words and say "Well me and my girl are on and off sometimes but you can still sit on my face because you taste delicious" (That last part isn't an exaggeration. He told me my pussy tastes amazing and he could eat it every day. Of course it does silly, I'm me! And I would let you if you were down, because your tongue is magical.). But alas he doesn't so ehh. Then one night out of nowhere when I wasn't even trying to have sex with him (at least not at that exact moment) he decides to volunteer the fact he's officially single and tired of being treated like garbage. I told him I was gonna ask but decided not to and he was like I'm glad you didn't because shit is complicated. I'm like okay. Then of course the next day he isn't single anymore. I swear if he didn't know how to fuck I'd punch him in the throat.

Well. Here's my monthly blog I suppose. I need to stop being so damn lazy. I still gotta fill you in on El Capitan's ol' bitch ass, Sexsomniac (clutchhhh), and this new boy. I will get to it eventually. Y'all gotta get on my ass about this lol.

Toodles,
Miss Sixxxty, you very own freak of the industryy

What REALLY Happened In Vegas

Well I figure since I'm like SINGLE single I can be honest about my Vegas trip. I DID, in fact, not only FINALLY had birthday sex, but I finally got laid in Vegas. Killing two birds with one stone whoop whoop!I went to Vegas the weekend of my birthday "with" my friends. We didn't really plan the trip together but we realized we were both planning separate trips around the same time so we decided to go at the same time. I was gonna go on Thursday and they would come Friday. So Thursday night I hung out with my friend who lives there, he bought me dinner, took me to a few lounges and bars and we gambled at the craps table. I gambled 500 bucks of his money and we ended up making like 2300. He gave me a cut for being a "lucky charm" and I went shopping at the outlets the next day to find an outfit for my birthday. On my way back into town I picked up the girls from the airport while the boys caught a cab. I knew everyone in the group pretty good except this one dude. I had only met him twice before in the previous two weeks and even then I didn't even talk to him. Shit I barely knew his name. But we made plans to meet back at their room later that night to go to TAO (because that guy had a "connect"...smh never again). Before I met up with them I met up with my local friend where he bought me more drinks. I drunkenly took the tram from Treasure Island to The Mirage (ladies don't EVER do that) where they were staying so we could go. I had never seen my friends truly dressed up and I thought we looked sharp. But gad damn did this Mystery Dude just look...extra delicious tonight...The other two times I had seen him we were both looking pretty bummy. But I will say he cleans up very nicely. I remember telling myself "Okay if I have to pick someone out this group to fuck it would def be him." but I didn't think too much of it. We went to the lobby of the Venetian to wait for this promoter dude and we literally spent a fucking hour waiting on him. Like I was falling asleep waiting. In the meantime one of our friends barely made it out of the elevator he was so drunk. Throwing up in garbage cans nshit. He finally just had to throw in the towel and go back up to the room because he was beyond yoasted. The guy finally shows up and he takes us to TAO and we just cut the line. Once we got inside I was pissed because they were playing electronic music. I'm not a big nightclub fan already and when I do go I wanna shake my ass and whatnot. I can't get down to electronic music like that, that's more lounge music to me. We walk to the bar and when I had my back turned my other friend puked on everyone standing near him at the bar so they kicked him out and he went back to the room as well. I stood by the wall while they cleaned it up with two of my girlfriends and the Mystery Dude came over with a shot of patron for me. Way in the back back days I overdid it with the tequila one afternoon and after that my body literally rejects it. I can't take a tequila shot without gagging. And I tried to politely refuse it and he was like "Dude I just spent 80 bucks on shots and you're not even gonna drink it??" I told him he should've asked me first and he took my shot for me. He grabbed me by the hand and whispered in my ear "Let's dance" and one of the girls followed us. Before we even found an open area to dance in some guy grabbed her and she looked at me and I was like Go! He was cute, it's Vegas, why not? When we finally found an open area we danced for a song or two and he grabbed one of my hands and put it on the back of his neck while he held me around the waist. I was thinking "Fuck he smells good" and before I knew it he leaned down and kissed me. So I was making out with him in the middle of the dance floor. Everything was going fine until he put his hand up my dress. He got like one finger past me and then I snapped back to reality and remembered where I was. These two white girls were looking at me saying "Oh My GOD." And I'm thinking it's okay...this is Vegas...crazy shit always goes down here don't look so surprised. But he grabbed me by the arm again and tried to find a better place to continue making out but wherever we went we were in the way. When we couldn't find the other girls I think we decided to leave. You know how when you see celebrity couples The guy is damn near dragging his girl? That's what he was doing to me all around the casino and I loved every minute of it. Of course I'm getting stares from black dudes but whatever....Ever so often he would stop to ram his tongue down my throat and he got no complaints from me. When we finally made it back to their hotel both my friends were already passed out. Why we went back to his room, still have no idea. One of my friends woke up and stumbled off to the bathroom where he went to go puke. The Mystery Man went to go tend to him and my other friend's phone rang I answered it and it was two of our friends we had left behind pranking me pretending to be the front desk. While I'm on the phone he comes up behind me and  starts kissing my neck and I have to end the call immediately. He picked me up and laid me on the ground and started sucking my neck which is my one fucking weakness. As much as I didn't want him to stop I didn't want to risk waking up one of my friends cause I didn't wanna explain why I had his dick in me. So I stopped him while he was trying to finger me and suggested we go back to my room since I was staying alone. He got off me and sat there for a minute before saying "I have a girlfriend".
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!?!?!?!
Where was all this girlfriend guilt when you were trying to fuck me on the dance floor?!?!?!?! I seriously don't know how the fuck I manage to attract every last fucking man with a girlfriend, but that shit happens. So I got up, pushed my dress down and told him "Look. I'm going to my room. And I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't wanna already do" and I walked out the door. Before the door even closed behind me he came out and followed me to my room. We hailed a cab since I was staying all the way at the end of the strip and he tried to turn it into an episode of Taxicab Confessions. We were doing some serious making out, ten he'd suck on my neck and try to finger me and I honestly would've lt him if the cab driver wasn't being such an obvious creepy fuck like this shit doesn't happen on the daily. I managed to fight him off long enough to get to my hotel and before we got on the elevator he asked if I had any condoms. Mmm, not exactly sir. I had to find a casino employee and ask them where I could buy toothpaste. I didn't wanna flat out ask for condoms, and where there's toothpaste there's condoms. While he went to go buy whatever I waited out in front of the store. This black dude comes up to me asking if I'm lost and I'm like "I'm good." Then he asks where I'm going and what did I do that night and finally he brings his ass out the store and grabs my hand. Dude immediately says "My bad I was just making sure you were good." Bitch I already told you I was good boy stoppp. He just stared at us a little too long but whatever. On the elevator he tried to fuck me until this other couple came in and then it was one of those moments like we knew each other and had finally seen each other after years. We got off on the same floor but went in opposite directions. Once we got into my room he attacked me lol. He pushed me on the bed, then was like I have to go to the bathroom. While he was in the bathroom I opened the privacy blinds, turned on the lamps and put some music on. I don't know what I was expecting but what I got was definitely not something I necessarily wanted. He's an amazing kisser but because he was so fucking drunk his dick would get soft every few minutes. And he refused to take off his shirt so while we were having sexual dysfunctions we were having wardrobe malfunctions. He started on top for a bit, then told me to get on all fours. Which worked for a while but not long enough for me to feel anything. He pulled out and took his condom off and asked me to blow him for a bit. I did but I forgot how horrible latex makes dicks taste. I had to run to the bathroom and grab a washcloth to wash his dick with before continuing. It's like I could suck his dick long enough for him to hold an erection but when it was time to switch it would vanish. He turned me around and told me how bad he wanted to taste me and if it tasted good. Sir fro,m what I've been told the vag is A1. I always hate when dudes ask me what does it taste like. It tastes like ass and sewage and bong water -_______-. If you can't smell anything I think you're good. I never liked getting licked form the back just because my entire ass is in your face. He laid on the bed and had me get on top where he sucked my boobs and tried his hardest to finish but it wasn't gonna happen. I forgot when I tapped out but I was just like "Hey...I'm gonna go downstairs and get some chicken strips...." And he passed out in my bed. While I was waiting for my food the girls finally called me back, told me they were safe and invited me over to come take a bath with them. I was too tired to drive and didn't feel like catching another cab so I declined. They asked me where the Mystery Man was and I was like "Oh he got really drunk and passed out in my room." When I got back upstairs he was already gone. Everything he brought with him, condoms, mouthwash, bottled water all that shit was gone with him. The next night he wanted to act like he didn't know me. Bitch are you serious?! I said hi and told him he looked nice and bitch gave me this dry ass "Thanks". What happened to the dude that let me sit on his lap and stuff and was actually friendly? So I don't feel bad about writing this blog knowing he has/had a girlfriend since he wanted to act like a fucking dick. And since I'm no longer emotionally invested in anyone I REALLY don't feel bad about the shit. And I never talked to him after that lol.
I just wanna have sex when I want. And if a boyfriend is the only thing that'll offer me that type of stability then...shit.

Just can't get right.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

What Not To Do

Can someone enlighten me on what intimidates men? Or what constitutes as being sexually aggressive? Because I have been told that I'm intimidating and aggressive and that may be why I can't get laid as often as I want. I don't know how the fuck someone figured that out, because when it comes to sex I'm the most submissive person ever. I go with the flow, I rarely take the initiative until you show some type of spark of interest first. So....what gives? There is this guy I went to high school with, I had a baby crush on him sophomore year. He's def attractive, so there's that. Going all the way back to the MySpace days he would hit me up and we'd start TALKING about doing something, but nothing ever came into fruition. Finally the shit started getting on my nerves because I felt he was toying with me like "Watch me get this bitch all fired up for nothing." So I stopped taking him serious. As of late he would hit me up but I never gave it much thought. I ran into him the weekend before Halloween and after that he would steady message me on Fb. He kept saying we should hang out but he was busy during the week when I was free. His only free time was on the weekends when I worked. With it being the holidays I didn't go to work much, so I was around, but when I'd hit him up about hanging out he'd be tired or too fucked up to function. I was starting to get annoyed because history was repeating itself AGAIN. Finally we were both available at the same time and I jumped on the opportunity before he bitched out again. I went over to his place around one, and when I got there I had an edible. He was gonna smoke me out at first but I don't really like blunts, and he had just rolled one, so I let him have that and I enjoyed my baked good. We sat there listening to Frank Ocean's Channel Orange for a bit, then he suggested we hop on YouTube and watch stuff. We watched some random clips, then he asked me if I had ever heard of something called Salad Fingers. I hadn't so he showed methis clip.

What. The. Absolute. FUCK?! This was beyond the creepiest hing I have ever watched, and not to mention the weed didn't make it better. Idk which is worse: The person that watches it or the person that created it. Like wtf is really going on in YOUR mind to come up with some twisted shit like this? But anyways, we got on Netflix and ended up watching Reservoir Dogs, which btw, I didn't think it was as great as everyone made it seem. I thought it was actually kinda boring, except when Mr. Blonde and the hostage had their moment. Towards the end of the movie he mentioned he was getting sleepy, but I didn't know where he was going with that. Sleepy as in you want US to hop in the bed? Or sleepy as in you want me to leave so you can sleep? But we stayed watching tv shows on Netflix. The entire time I was there we sat on either sides of the love seat. He didn't scoot any closer to me, he didn't try to slickly put his arm around me, nada. He didn't move, and neither did I because I didn't know what he was thinking. But what I do know was that shit sucked. Finally he turned to me and said "I think I'm going to go to bed. We can always hang out some other time. Here I'll walk you to your car." I just looked at him and said Ok. He walked me to my car and gave me one of those awkward ass side hugs then went back inside. I was like wtf? Was it me? What did I do? Or not do? I knew I didn't smell bad, and I actually did my makeup and shaved my legs and everything. Don't get me wrong I didn't go over there with the intention that I wanted to fuck him (I mean I wasn't going to because I'm between waxes right now), but at the same time...C'mon bro. I drove to your house at 1 in the morning. I looked cute...like why WOULDN'T you make a pass at me? I felt so unwanted lol. I expect a guy that I'm not close friends with to make a pass at me if we're high and alone and it's early in the morning. Like there should NEVER be an arm's length of space between us after midnight, NEVER. I would've made out with him a bit, straddled him and then some...but seriously? My friend just thinks he was being a little chicken shit and that he didn't know how to handle me...but I'm like handle me like you would any other girl I'm not a damn baby unicorn! Like I heard from a friend that when she hung out with him they got high together, went and got something to eat and when he brought her back to the house he just went down on her outta nowhere. I kinda expected my night to go somewhat similar. But noooooooo, not me! I can never get what I want.

My question to you guys is what is it do you think that I'm doing to scare them off? Lol shit cause I'm all out of ideas. Half the time I got people telling me closed mouths don't get fed, the other half are telling me that's being too aggressive. I'm just a poor old soul who wants what she wants when she wants it. I figure this year I want to get a boyfriend, not for the sole purpose of getting sex whenever I want it, because even that isn't guaranteed, but it would be a big bonus. And I'd obviously enjoy everything else that comes with having a boyfriend (What those things are, I don't know. Cause the closest I ever got to that was the Antichrist, and that was...whew.). Like I'd never be sitting at home wondering "Fuck....I really need some dick...who can give it to me?" I'd just be like "Oh hay sexy boyfrann. My vag wants to give your penis a big ass hug right meow." Or something. And that I wouldn't add any new notches (With the exception of three people) and that if I wanted peen I'd have to either backtrack or hurry up and find me a man. But we'll see how long this shit lasts. As for this dude right here, well, we'll see if he wants to hang out again, and if he does we'll see what happens from there. In the meantime I'm gonna order me a fat ass pizza from Pizza Hut cause I am STARVING.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own aggressive assed freak of the industryy

Random Shit.

 Sorry if this blog doesn't make sense or seeming  hella all over the place. I just need to vent some shit. So there won't be any steamy or funny sex stories but you are free to continue to read into the inner workings of my mind. Lol

Took a mini hiatus but I'm bored so I thought I'd blog. A bunch of shit has been happening and my life low key feels like its in shambles. But whatever. Those wondering about Happenis I think he needed some "Me" time. Or whatever. So for the time being (or maybe forever) he is not around. But enough about that.

Puss In Boots made a random ass appearance. He wanted me to come visit him when I was in town and I did...and everything was...different. I don't know if it's because he's no longer my friends roommate and the bald headed cock blocking ass bitch is no longer a problem or if its something else but it just wasn't fun anymore. Just kinda like...Just get behind me and hurry up. I don't want any eye contact whatsoever. Which is sad because we had fun sex. I even shotgunned a bowl with him and it didn't help. I was more concerned with making it to work on time that night. After that little detour I made it a point not to hit him up anymore or make any out of the way visits. Same with the Gummy Bear Dude. I didn't even make it all the way thru before tapping out. I couldn't do it! And I haven't slept with him since the summer. I'm just so over having to fake it all the fucking time. And I have gotten really good at faking it. Sad. Facial expressions, back arches, breathing, the whole nine. I just wanna be with the one person I never have to fake it with lol. I'm a good person. I deserve good sex in return damnit! It's like every time I step out on a good thing some bad shit goes down and I'm just left scratching my head like whaa..? But at the same time I have no choice BUT to step out. I'm really left with no options. Which sucks. Because I have these awesome pot brownies courtesy of an angel named Kitty that make me extremely horny ad I'd like to not waste them on bogus ass sex. THC just takes mind blowing sex to on the verge of dying of ecstasy sex. I'm over here rationing them like I'm actually about to get good sex lol when it's been over a month now. If anything does happen they'll probably be spoiled by then.
I've had prospects but none that genuinely pique my interest. It feels hopeless. "Oh but there are soooo many other penises in the sea" I know this and a bitch isn't trying to go thru all of them to find one.

Now, there is ONE that I'm interested in tho, the situation is just highly complicated. His name? El Capitan. He was my adorable old boss, but not anymore! I'd always joke with the girls that he'd better not let me catch him in a dark hallway alone, otherwise I'd ambush him. I work in a sexually charged environment so he'd always flirt back with me too. Only problem is, he has a girlfriend. And because of that I never did anything TOO over the top, out of a kind of respect for their "institution". But there was just sooooo much sexual tension between us. Now that he isn't my boss anymore, that was one less issue to worry about. I's still text him every now and then to see how life was after the club and he seemed to be doing just fine. The conversation soon turned sexual (as it always tends to) but this time instead of him asking about my sex life with other people we got into my potential sex life with him. He's known I've been attracted to him for the longest and he hits me up with the ol' "Well why didn't you speak up sooner? cause maybe I wanted you too..." I reminded him he had a girlfriend and it wasn't really my place to be telling him and he was just like so..? Apparently he's in a "cookie drought" and he was telling me all the things he wanted to do to me if we were to ever be alone together. SCORE. Is it bad that I still want to sleep with him knowing he has a girlfriend? Yes. Do I care? No. Why should I? If he's the one that's supposed to be in love and he doesn't, I won't either. He's the one who has to live with the fuck up, not me. Anyways towards the end of the convo his answers became really short and I figured he was starting to bitch out. WTFAAAAAAACK.
I'm really picky when it comes to cheating. Me being the SINGLE person I am it doesn't bother me too much because I am single and will do whatever the fuck I please. The one thing I DON'T like is when a dude will lie about being in a relationship and I find out. Because you didn't give me the option as to whether I wanted to go thru with it. I'd like to know ahead of time so I can be like "Hmm...is it gonna be worth it (to me)?" There are also the dudes that I barely know exist but I know about their relationships and they try to be sneaky by being in my DM or FB inbox. That shit just works my everlasting nerves. I know this probably makes no sense to you but in my head it makes perfect sense. I think the problem with that is because I don't know them, I have no sexual tension with them and I probably don't even find them attractive. Which makes it not okay in my box. Stay with me here. A lot of those guys are lucky I'm not too much into childish behavior or I'd be screenshotting the fuck out their ain't shit asses. Just don't come at me wrong on the wrong day tho. You have been warned.
But back to El Capitan that shit just pissed me off because I told him at the beginning I didn't want to admit to anything because it wouldn't make a difference since he had a girl. But he insisted with the dirty talk so I just followed suit. I don't know what happened at the end of the convo but it sounded to me like he was getting guilty already and I haven't even seen him in person in weeks. I hate people that get guilty on me. Either you're gonna go thru with it or you're not but don't bitch out half way thru. Just a waste of unlimited text messages. One of my coworkers thinks he's just gonna wait for the right moment when he's alone to finish what he started but I'm not so sure. We shall see I guess.

At work this gorgeous Armenian lady with nice boobs came in and got a lap dance from me. She told me she'd never cheat on her husband but that she would just LOVE to be with a girl. And I almost let her take me home. Almost. Boy, what a blog that would've been.

Idk if I'm just lonely r if it's because cuffing season is in full effect out here, but sleeping alone sucks. I like having a body next to me, even if there isn't any sex or cuddling involved. Ah hell.

I have a lot more to write about, but I'm just gonna wait it out before I say anything stupid. Ha, Happenis stole my happy and my penis. How funny.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

The Gummy Bear Dude. And His Dog.

Sorry about my hiatus babes and gents. I've been verrrry very lazy lately. And I hate blogging from my netbook cause sometimes the buttons on my keyboard don't work, then I start looking illiterate. So I have to wait to be able to use the family computer and blah blah blah other things you don't care about everyone just wants to hear about how Happenis and I are doing. Lol. Well I told you I had to do three blogs for you so here goes.

So there's the boy I told you guys I casually fuck every now and then? The Gummy Bear dude aka The Mexican Across Town (cause he lives in east jesus nowhere). Well anyways, after the gummy bear night he decided to start sneaking me into the house and we would chill in his room. Bong rips, shot guns and sex. And if you aren't familiar with smoker terminology a shot gun is when a guy takes a hit and then passes the smoke to a girl (or guy. whatever floats your boat) like he's doing cpr. Usually ends in a kiss. And no I'm not a smoker now. I swear. Anyways so the first time we had sex in the room it was nice He starts with going down on me, then we switch. And his bed is really high off the ground so he'll usually bend me over the bed. The only thing that sucks is when his family is there and we have to be quiet, cause then that means I can't get it rough:/ . We had sex once, then we were just chillin' for a minute and I see him start stoking his junk. I'm like "Ohhh, round two?" and he was like "I don't know, maybe if you can get it hard again". That wasn't too hard. No pun intended. Let round two commence! So I think I was on all fours on his bed and I heard what sounded like someone trying to open his door. He didn't seem concerned so I was like whatever. Then all of a sudden the door opens slightly and I've never seen that boy move so fast. I remember as I watched him run to the door I kept looking at his ass, thinking about how small it was. And it made me laugh (on the inside). But he's a skinny boy, so I can't knock him. But that kinda ended our night:/
The next time I saw him, it was more or less of the same thing. We started off with a few bong rips but this time his dog kept scratching the door so he was like "I gotta let her in." okay, fine. He let's his big ass pit into the room and immediately she starts jumping on me. I'm like uhhhhhhhh...okay. And for some reason he had to leave the room so it was just me and the dog. I tried to get on the bed and she was like "No bitch. I'm the only bitch in his life." and started fucking with me. When I sat on the edge of the bed with my feet hanging off she would jump on my back and lick my face. And she was HEAVY. Then I crawled into the middle of the bed and sat on my knees. Then she kept walking around me in circles and whacking me with her tail. It reminded me of getting whopped with a belt. That shit was painful! I swear she was doing it on purpose. and I couldn't move cause she kept circling me like she didn't want me to move outta her sight. Finally The Gummy Bear dude comes back and he tries unsuccessfully to get her to leave me alone. He puts her on the ground and tries to make a pallet for her on the ground and she'd rather be on the bed. Ugh. Whyyyy can't we just put the dog outside?! Finally it seems as though she's finally listening to him so she lies down. And after he calls the dog a cock block lol he pulls the covers over his head and gives me head. And at first I was enjoying it, that is until I turned my head to the side. The dog was staring at me with that confused doggy face, the one where they cock their head to one side and just stare at you. And I swear his dog was staring into my soul at that point. And it kinda creeped me out lol.I kinda laughed and he poked his head out the blanket so see what was going on and then scolded her again. Finally she left us to do our thing, and the entire time I kept thinking about his dog's face! we finish up and then I go on my merry way. I haven't seen him since then, but I seriously hope the next time when I do go have sex in his house the dog is far, far away.
I just feel weird. Like I know my dog is a dog, but I won't even let him see me naked. I feel weird about it! As if he's a little baby and shouldn't be looking at naked people. Hence why I dress him up in cute little outfits. Anyways....

One down, two more to go. And they will post automatically so hopefully this will hold you off for a while.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Eww Why Me?!

I really gotta stop fucking with blasts from the past.
If you refer back to the "Keep It 100" blog...yeah that bitch is back. And getting on my nerves more than ever. I officially gave up on that months ago, and sure enough when summer vacay started he popped back into my life YET AGAIN. Although he still failed to mention he had a girlfriend. You dudes really let twitter get y'all caught up. Anyways he was literally pestering me for WEEKS about giving him some when I had no type of interest in him anymore. Once I stop fucking with you I REALLY stop fucking with you. He would always text me all kinds of crazy shit, like "whaddup hoe" or "girl i can work my dick i know how to fuck" and "you bein a scary bitch" amongst other things. I knew he didn't mean to insult me, he just thought it was cute banter. I was not amused. He took my not wanting to fuck him as being scary. Like it was impossible to believe I really didn't wanna fuck with him like that. I had a friend pass away unfortunately last month and I felt like he might have used that opportunity to "be there for me" as another way to weasel his way back. Didn't really work. I tried my best to be nice to him for the simple fact we had been such good friends the previous years but he was really about to have me go the hell off on him. Me and Curly Fries were talking about it cause he happened to be friends with him too. He thought the situation was funny and sad because "its sad to see weed has made my friend so desperate for pussy" and as much as he would like to say he wasn't desperate, he really was. There was no need to text me every day asking when we were gonna fuck. None at all. We made a bet: Curly Fries said his dick would be small and he wouldn't last more than 7 minutes...which wasn't really a bet at all because I thought more or less the same thing.
Finally after weeks of trying I finally snapped. I told him "Look. If I do this, and it's terrible, I'm gonna tell you then I'm never speaking to you again". Of course he was waaaaay over confident in his skills. Then he asks when he's coming over here. Bitch...NEVER. I told him he would never step foot in my house again. Then he goes on about always having people at his house blah blah blah "we can just chill in the car" Bitch you are cuh-razy. I have never fucked you before. And you can't go hopping in the backseats of cars with boys all willy nilly. Car sex is difficult enough as it is, and if you can't fuck...that just makes it worse. I told this idiot I'd rather fuck him in a bed so I could at least see if the sex would be worth anything but once again, confidence over shadowed common sense. One night he comes and picks me up and I could really give two fucks about it. My gut told me it would be terrible but I did it anyways. I should probably start listening to my gut more often. Hygiene Gods forgive me for being so triflin' but let me tell you how much I DIDN'T care: I didn't put on deodorant, I had on sweats and a hoodie and I didn't wash my hair. All I did was wash my ass pretty much. SO we're sitting in the car for like an hour going back and forth about why I'm just not turned on by him anymore (his fuckery) and he's like can we please just put it behind us I'm sorry Fine whatever. His car is tiny by the way. Foreshadowing much? He's all slumped over invading my personal space and I'm thinking "stop touching me". Then he starts kissing me and the entire time he's moaning. I'm like why the fuck are you moaning?! Shut up!!! He stops and suggests we move to the backseat. I look back there, and look at him like he's crazy. There was NO room back there, and there was no way in HELL I was bringing that fuckery into MY car. So we got into the backseat. (I'm getting annoyed all over again writing this shit). Let the making out commence. I wish it would've stopped there. But NOOOOOOOOOO. And the fucked up thing was while we were making out I could feel my body betraying me. He wasn't a terrible kisser but he wasn't AMAZING, so I couldn't understand why I was so wet! I was like wtf is really going on...God is playing a cruel joke on me once again. In the middle of kissing he asks me all moan-y and shit "Mmmm grab my dick mmmm" and he shoves my hand in his shorts. Mind you I'm still kissing him. First off, his dick was wet like he just shot out hella precum. Ick. Then I felt how small it was. And I thought "That bitch Curly Fries was right" and started smiling. Smiling while kissing= no go. He asked me what and I was like oh hmm ha nothing...But I was like this night can't possibly get any worse. Oh yes it can, cause this is ME we're talking about. So I'm trying to keep my composure while we're kissing, and I can't even play with is dick I kept stopping and just held it and he would grab my hand and give me another jump start. I just had no desire to play with his peepee. Then he pulled away, pulled his shorts down and tried to take them off. But once again there was NO room so it was just knees hitting seats and acrobatic shit going on, just plain ol' awful. Finally he gets them off and he has me climb on top. I didn't even have the energy to ride him so I just half assed it hoping he would cum hella quick. Oh no, not him. So we switch between me semi riding him and him giving me his sorry ass excuses of thrusts, the whole time I'm just rolling my eyes. He commented on how wet I was and I just wanted to be like "I don't even know how the fuck that happened but I am NOT enjoying this shit" But I just said "Mmmhmm..." Finally I couldn't take anymore of this fuck ass shit so I got off. He was like "Sorry its so small back here" and all I said was "This was a terrible fucking idea". He asked me to give him head and that was meant with a firm hell no. Then he was like "You want me to bend you over the hood and fuck you huh" No sir, no I just want you to take me back home. He apologized once before he dropped me of and I told him I'd call him. Sike.

That shit was terrible and he knew it. "...know how to fuck" my ASS you liar! But I knew better tho...I diddddddd and yet I subjected myself to that fuck shit. Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! The only way he's gonna get another shot isif he gets a penile implant and drinks 6 Red Bulls. And even then I may still say no.
It's like the good ones don't come around often enough (If they ever come back) and the bad ones always stick around no matter how mean I am to them. What the fuck kinda ass backwards shit is that?!?!?! I'ma just quit sex one day and turn this into a cooking blog. Or a scrapbooking blog. Cause I can't take much more of this shit./

I still gotta write about:
-The Mexican across town and how his dog stared into my soul during sex
-Yet ANOTHER fail on Happenis's part. The quality of our sessions are steady going down:/
-Another L.A. prospect and Grade A peach eater. Damn his magical tongue trickery.

Y'all gotta be more on my ass about updating this thing. I forget to sometimes.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

I Am The "A-Ha Moment" Bitch

Here we go again...
Just to snowball of the blog I wrote the other day, I have realized something. I am a "fantasy" girl. And I'm going to try to write this in the most humble way possible but I already know it's going to sound cocky as shit. THAT'S NOT MY ANGLE OKAY!!! What I mean is, there will be a guy who is in a good relationship, and I might come in at a point where it's rocky, or he just may be a complete dumb ass and just wanna try cheating. I'm the fun party girl type, I'm pretty, I dance, I'm sexually liberated/open, I mean as far as sex goes I'm a pretty damn good catch. The girlfriend just may lack one or more of these things which is why the dude is tempted my way. I don't lure these men in, it just seems I attract taken men more often than not. Anyways, if they hang around me long enough they're eventually going to try something. Back in the day when I was just a wee lass and learning how to properly use my shit I rally gave no fucks if a guy had a girlfriend. Because I felt I was single and it wasn't my problem. If I knew your man wanted to fuck me and I wanted him I would do it and not even feel bad. That was high school shit. I've grown up a bit more, polished my game, and (knowingly) taken men are off the menu. Homewrecking days are over (although I never knew if any of the guys girlfriends ever found out about me) the thrill just isn't there anymore. I get low key disgusted when men try to mess with me knowing they have a girlfriend it's like really dude? And when I know he's taken I don't even give him the time of day. Keep it movin' suga.
But anyways, as I got older I started noticing a certain type of dude. I've come across him a couple times which is too damn many if you ask me. What happens is they'll talk a big game, tell me all the shit they wanna do to me, and then when shit goes down they realized "Oh shit I'm in waaaay too deep" (No pun intended lol) and realize they've just fucked up. And most 0of the time I won't even know until after.

EXAMPLE NUMERO UNO
The first time it happened it was with this guy I went to high school with sending me a random AIM, which was weird cause I had stopped using it in high school, but I guess it still sent the messages to my phone when I was signed out. We talked back and forth for a couple days and would occasionally talk about sex. He told me he had a girlfriend I'm pretty sure, because he would talk about how she doesn't want to sleep with him, or how he wanted to have sex cause he was SOOOOO horny and I suggested he go and fuck his girlfriend. Idk but the sexual tension built up and finally we met up one night. I landscaped beforehand and showed up to his house. When he came outside to get me the first thing I thought was "oh my...someone has put on a little weight..." but I was already there so I went inside. We sat and talked for a minute then I think he kissed me, and I just remember him going down on me A LOT. Finally I was just like fuck it let's have sex RIGHT NOW. His pants were still on and I asked him to take them off. He told me to do it for him and I swear to god...his peepee was so small I just wanted to pull them back up. I just looked at his feet so he wouldn't see my face. Like I know you're a little guy, I get that, but that doesn't mean you have to be little all over!

SIDEBAR: Hand jobs. Would imply the use of four fingers and a thumb. What do we call it when I can only use two fingers and a thumb? A finger job? A pinch job? Suggestions?

So I tried messing with his lil peepee, then we 69'd for a bit, but his little peepee just would not hold blood. When he finally got a lil tiny bit of an erection, he put on the condom but went back soft as soon as he tried to stick it in. We finally just called it a night, and while I was driving home he sent me something along the lines of how much he loved his girlfriend, and he couldn't get it up because he kept thinking about her, and how he's so happy I made him realize that. I was just pissed cause I shaved for some bullshit. I wasn't tryna talk, I wasn't tryna be all like "Oh, I'm glad I could help" or none of that shit. Look,k you little peepee ass boy, we are done here. No more talking!!! He even started talking crazy like "Oh my god I want to marry her! Do you think I should propose to her?" Jigga WHAT? I am not your best friend I do not fucking know! After that I tried ignoring him and he still kept hitting me up like nothing happened, so I had to let him know I didn't wanna be his friend because we were never really friends in the first place and he needed to go away. Fuck. Then he vanished thankfully. But damn.

EXAMPLE NUMERO DOS
Then we have the Piss In Boots sitchy, which already confirmed what I already kinda knew. That the "friend" was more than a friend to him, he loved her, and blah blah blah he felt so guilty after she showed up when I left that he didn't even fuck her that night...He texted me and apologized for being disrespectful in his ignoring me, and how he was thinking with his dick and he didn't understand what he was getting himself into, that I still have to drink those juicer concoctions and how he'll still buy me lunch next time "just no bedroom festivities". UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep your money man...I told him what I was looking for, he talked a bunch of shit, then realized he wasn't with the shit! In both these situations I never forced them to have sex with me they were the ones who wanted it! If I'm not sure about sleeping with someone (here's a crazy idea) I DON'T GO THOUGH WITH IT! Why am I smart enough to delegate who I can and cannot sleep with, but these men aren't? Most of these characteristics, tendencies, and feelings are associated with women right? But these are MEN with PENISES. I am the most emotionally detached in these situations, and it's fucking annoying to have to deal with a dude and his feelings. That's not what the fuck I signed up for I made that clear before you stuck your dick in me didn't I? I don't want your money, your lunch, or your healthy hippie drinks. Just say hello and good bye to me and we can keep the shit civil. It just makes me wonder if ANY of the things we talked about yesterday were even genuine or if in his mind he was just trying to game me up. Guess I'll never know cause I'm not gonna ask him.
Having sex with me four times then having the "friend" show up made him feel guilty and finally admit to the feelings he had for her. The sad part is I don't think she wants to even be monogamous, but hey, if he likes it I love it. I just don't think it's the wisest decision to withhold your seed for one person when they clearly don't seem to have a problem spreading it all over town. But what in the fuck do I know right?
I just wonder what would've happened had I not gone out to get food and condoms and the "friend" walked in to see me sprawled out like a naked beached whale on his bed. Pretty sure I'd be the "What Now?" bitch. The "What Now?" bitch is the girl who will be in the middle of having sex with a guy, his girl walks in and sees what's going on, storms out, and he chases after her either semi or completely nude, and you're left alone and naked in the room going "...What now?" Talk about fucking awkward...
From now on before I jump in bed with someone I'm just gonna ask if they are emotionally invested in someone, if they're sure they want to do this, and if they're lying and they feel bad after to go lay on a therapist's chaise lounge cause I don't wanna hear that shit. 

Man...for all these dudes having these A-Ha I love her moments I should be charging for my services....
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Never Have I Ever...

...been rejected before. In my life. Until the other night.Happenis Jr. certainly was a damn spot on nickname.

So a little bit of background on him. I was set up on a semi blind date with a retard and Happenis Jr. gave me a shot of gin and ended up chatting me up more than my so called "date" and we ended up exchanging numbers. We would text throughout the day when he talked me thru my first hangover (which was THEE worst; I never get hangovers. Idk what went wrong that night) and I went to visit him at work (upon his request, I wouldn't just "pop up" outta nowhere). We made plans to hang out again that night. Go to a party, drink a lil bit, and he invited me back to his house to go cuddle. Little did I know that's really all he wanted to do:/ We did a lot of that, and it felt nice to not have to sleep alone...although there wasn't any making out. He did, however, enjoy my ass. a LOT. He kissed it, bit it, and stuck his face in it lol. Guys are weird. He then goes on and on about how he's never been with a black girl before and how pretty I am and whatnot, just complimenting me all night.
Anyhow, we hung out again another night and he actually got me to take a hit off a bong and it was a lot better than that time with The Carnie. We watched cartoons and I thought Drawn Together was the funniest show ever invented. He had to be at work early the next morning so he said it was time for bed. I tried seducing him, but nothing. Fail. We hung out again and THIS time we played some old school Sega Dreamcast, and he proceeded to kick my ass in all these games I had never even heard of (except Tetris). After we finished, he suggested I do shrooms. Sir, hell no. Weed is my limit with you. He was trying to explain all the good things shrooms do to you but I wasn't impressed. So he was like "Well you should try wax". I've heard of it but I don't know exactly how they make it or anything, and he was like it's healthier than smoking actual grass. He could've just been talking out his ass but I thought I'd try it. He was like "Let's do it naked". Sure why not. We strip down and take a hit. I got a small one so it didn't do TOO much...but  I knew I'd be hungry so I suggested we get some grub before I get too fucked up to drive. We got dressed then he made me take another hit, this time it was bigger. 'If you don't feel anything after this you're fucking immune to weed cause I just gave you a fat ass hit". Nothing happened until I started driving down the street. All of a sudden my whole body felt weird and the lights were blending together. I thought I was floating away! We get to the drive thru and I order the food and everything was all good til I pulled up to the window. I saw the drive thru employee dude and fucking LOST IT. I couldn't stop laughing for shit. Every time I looked over I laughed. Happenis Jr. kept asking me what was wrong with me and I just kept screaming "I DON'T KNOW DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!" It was so bad I couldn't even pull my debit card out my wallet. After struggling a bit I got it out but couldn't put it back in so I just stuck it between my legs. When th guy handed us our food I lost it again and couldn't move. I had to tell him to grab the food between laughing fits and he just kept asking what was wrong with me. The drive thru guy had to have been annoyed with me but I couldn't even explain what was going on without laughing. Happenis Jr. just made a smoking motion and the guy started laughing at me.We get back to his house and I just fucking demolished that ultimate bacon cheeseburger (hold the cheese). I went to go put on the movie again and so while I'm bent over he's just rubbing on my ass, slowly working his hands under my shorts and I look back at him and tell him he's supposed to be naked. He takes his clothes back off and goes on about how he trimmed his man bush (I wish it was completely gone but I hadn't shaved in like four days so ehh...) and then he shows me he's uncut by stuffing his peen into the foreskin. I told him with the most serious face ever not to do that shit again. He goes on telling me how keyed I am and I don't remember how or when I just remember being really wet. So I kinda straddled him, then got off and asked if I could get something out of his drawer.

"As long as it's not weed or cash."

I grabbed a condom and tossed it to the side of the bed. You know, just in case. He got up and then while he was on his knees just kinda wedged himself between my legs as if he wanted to do something but was hesitating. He was rubbing on my legs and asking me things I really can't remember and then he asked if my hood had any scars from having my piercing ripped out. I told him everything down there looks the same and that my vag wasn't purple like he thought so he goes oh let me see! I seriously felt like I was getting a pap the way he was down there examining. He told me I had a Mexican girl vag..whatever that means...then he laid down and told me I was gonna kiss and rub on him and I was like hmm...So I got on top of him and started caressing his arms a bit, then I kissed him and he didn't kiss me back. Odd. Finally enough of the games I asked him for some. He asked if I wanted his peen and I nodded. Then he asked if that's what I grabbed out the drawer and I nodded again. So he tells me to put it on. I was still a little too high and it was dark so he put it on instead and I rode him. It was all good til I got off wanting to switch positions. Then everything went to hell. He starts telling me he's sleepy ad he has work early in the morning. At first I thought he was joking, but he kept saying it over and over and I'm like look you aren't going to sleep. He gets up and starts rambling about how he's not supposed to be having sex and I'm thinking he's gonna start saying it's for religious reasons but no he starts talking about how he wants to "stay clean, no offense to you". And he starts telling me he doesn't really wanna have sex and that he just wants to be friends. I rolled over and kept saying "I understand" when I really had no idea what the fuck just happened. He asks if I'm mad at him. "Nope." and he gets up telling me I made him all wt and he goes to the bathroom. I should've made my break for it then but I was siting in a daze. Did that really just happen? I put my shorts back on and went to sleep. We didn't even cuddle that night.
The next morning I got up and got dressed and when he came back from the bathroom he was like "Oh you're ready to leave?" No shit. I didn't look him in the eyes and gave him a half assed hug before I drove away. I just wanted to cry. I know I washed my ass before I got there, and I barely had any hairs growing...Where the fuck did I go wrong? I know I wasn't being too aggressive, and he was sending me all kinds of hints, not to mention he wasn't complaining when I was on top! So where did all that other shit come from?! "Stay clean" mf'er we were using condoms wtf?! I'm still puzzled. He had invited me to a reggae show the next night and I had completely forgot. I probably would've still blown it off anyways had I remembered. I mean maybe he thought I would catch feelings if we continued? Honestly I only wanted you for sex and if we aren't having sex...then I really have no use for you, do I? The reggae show was at 9, and he called me at like 4:30 in the morning. I didn't answer...wonder what he wanted...

Someone enlighten me as to what the fuck went wrong.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Crusing For Ass Via CraigsList. Lol.

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Let's Start 2012 Off With A Bang, Shall We?

You see babes an gents THIS is why GiGi is so fucking picky. If I step out on Happenis even for a moment 9 times outta 10 it is going to be absolutely horrid. Idk what kinda weirdo voodoo hex he has placed over me but I wish it would come off me! God I don't even know where to begin...

I've seen a little bit of Happenis (I know, I know, much to the people's dismay, but that's a whole 'nother blog for a whole 'nother day), a little bit of the Sexsommiac (once again, I know, triflin' as SHIT) and recently I added some new meat to the mix. Let's call him...fuck I don't even know...Conejo (aka rabbit in spanish. It fits). I had been hard pressed for the peen lately because it seemed as if no one was tryna put out when I needed them to! And one day I was perusing my fb and saw this dude I used to work with and thought hmm...what if...I read his bio which actually had an ounce of intelligence in it (caught my ass off guard) and somewhere he may have mentioned that he wasn't a one minute man but I swear that had nothing to do with my decision! Anyways, I posted something on his wall, we had some small talk, and when he messaged me with his number I knew it was going down. So I hit him up, and I noticed he still used a signature on his texts. If this wasn't a red flag then I don't know what is. But I ignored it and we made plans to meet up later. I didn't know where he lived (not from his town) so I used my GPS and I'm telling you the closer I got the more I hoped my navigation was wrong! I turned on his street and I knew I was in the fucking ghetto. Everyone had dirt lawns, the "fences" were made out of that chicken wire shit, I mean his whole house was probably as big as my living room and dining room put together and I by no means at all live in a mansion! There were no sidewalks...just dirt and street...but I told myself not to judge a book by its cover. When he said he got his own place finally I was thinking like an apartment! But whatever I pull up and he tells me his friends are gonna go play beer pong somewhere and if I wanted to go. I told him it was "up to him", that I wasn't trippin. He decides we should go. We pull up to the house and when I walk in theres a mattress in the living room with someone sleep on it and two yappy ass little mutts who keep jumping on me. The beer pong "table" was non-existent; it was maybe like a sq. yard. They weren't even playing beer pong it was just some dirty plates and bills on the table! The girl sitting there is like "hey you wanna go to my house and have a bonfire?" and he looks at me. I tell him "ITS. UP. TO. YOU". He decides we should go. We get there and his two friends get out the car and I try to follow and he says wait. I'm like what?? And he starts kissing me. Fine enough til he takes my entire fucking mouth into his (Sound familiar?) and starts licking all over it. Yuck...he finally stops and goes from nibbling on my bottom lip to hoover vacuuming it off! I'm trying to lead and not let him have my bottom lip but the shit aint working. He stops kissing me to pull my boobs out and start sucking on em. I swear it felt like I was breast feeding a toddler with all their teeth. The amount of suction this man uses I was pretty sure he was going to suck my piercings clear the fuck out my nips. I tried to ease him off and he pushes me down and starts sucking on my neck hella hard. It felt good but I was NOT trying to have any hickies, so I told him be gentle. He wasn't listening yet again. Then he gets up on his knees and it looks like he's ready to whip it out "Oh hey whoa whoa whoa...I'm not having sex with you in a car." Everyone else is already at the bonfire I'm just tryna join. If his ass wanted to have sex already he should have just had them take us back to his spot! This cocky bastard thinks he can change my mind my licking and kissing on my stomach getting ready to go down on me and I'm like no I'm serious I'm not fucking you back here. We finally get out the car and I feel my lip. My lip was fucking swollen! That's how hard that man was sucking on it. It seriously looked like he popped me in the mouth. Anyways we get out just for his friends to get in and I swear it seemed like they had sex for forever and a day. It was cold outside, I was irritated, I just wanted to go home it was like 4 in the morning...finally they finished and we went back to his house. As if this night couldn't have gotten any fucking worse.

He asked if I wanted to come inside and I said yeah...how I wish I would've said no!!! His living room consisted of a fridge...and a big screen tv. The kitchen? A microwave and a HAMMOCK. The bedroom? A fucking pot farm. Mind you this was the warmest part of the house. SO I'm standing in the "kitchen" and he hops into the hammock (I can't even type this with a straight face) and he's like "c'mere". Sir. You are out of your FUCKING mind if you think I'm about wedge myself in that tiny as hammock with you. We went back and forth for about 5 minutes and then I noticed he wasn't wearing pants anymore! Are you fucking serious you were tryna get it in IN THE FUCKING HAMMOCK?!?!?!?! I go into the "bedroom and he follows me in wearing nothing but a long sleeve tee and some ankle socks..............................
He closes the door and starts with the hard kissing again and I could feel his dick poking me. I push him away to get a look at it. Very nice I must say. Not only was it long but that shit was soda can girthy. And cut!!! Yaaaay...for now at least...He picks me up and then lays me on the ground and pokes me with it. "Um...where's your condom?" and he just stares at me. Sir I'm being completely serious if you can't tell...SO he runs away an grabs one now let the sexing commence! At first I was on my back with my legs on his shoulders and I'm not gonna lie I ran like SHIT at first. Just um. A LOT. To take in...But that's where the joy ended. We switched positions and I was on all fours...and this man fucked me like a rabbit. He wasn't even going all the way in. I couldn't feel shit but his balls wacking me (This is just the nastiest feeling in life to me). I layed down on my stomach and he layed on top of me all in my ear talking about "This is mine, this pussy is mine" Sir.......................................just stop talking please. You couldn't even rent to own this shit. Thank you. It only got good when he went down on me, probably the only silver lining to this night, I got to ride his face and he ate it from the back, which was all I really wanted anyways. He asked me to "suck it", and I obliged just cause he went down on me so many times before. But I didn't like him or the sex so I really just half assed the shit. He kept putting his hands on my head (My biggest fucking pet peeve when I'm sucking dick. Let me do my damn job I don't need any type of encouragement from you!) and kept tryna ram his dick down my throat so much to the point I just pulled it out and told him I would bite his shit off the next time he did it. I had bits of marijuana leaves stuck to me, I was tired and annoyed so I tried to fake stomach cramps and dip. I quit I couldn't fake enjoying this shit any longer. When I start wondering when the fuck you're gonna nut I know it's time to tap out and strike it up as a loss. He looked a lil sad/pissed off but wtf ever. I got dressed and when I tried to grab my car key I didn't have it. I started frantically looking like a madwoman and came to the sad realization that when the man mauled me in the backseat it had to have slipped out my pocket and was in his friend's car in the next own over, 20 minutes away. I hopped right on the phone with my roadside assistance just for those bitches to tell me they can't send a locksmith because of my stupid ass chipped key ad the best they could do was tow me to a dealer where they wanted to charge me 200 bucks for a new fucking key. The whole time this bitch is apologizing (for me losing my key, not that wack ass sex >_
Needless to say I'm gonna pretend this night never happened.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Happy Birthday To Us!!! Pt. I

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The Good, The Bad, && The Ugly

I have been debating on writing this blog for a while now. But this blog is somewhat therapeutic so I need to do it to get the stress off my chest.
My birthday.
Whatta day.

THE GOOD
Welp, my outfit was a winner.
I got off work early.
My good friends showed up.
The bitch beer was on point.
And I got birthday sex.

THE BAD
First off, only a third of the people I invited showed up, my real friends. And out of the 2/3 that didn't come, only two told me they wouldn't be able to make it. No lap dances (that I had worked so har on) were given out. Punk ass bitches. So my BM invited her friend from a tattoo shop who said he was bringing A friend. A as in SINGULAR. When I opened the front door I'm staring at 6 people. My other friends already didn't show up, ad they had a box of beer in their hands, so might as well be nice on my birthday and invite them in. One of the dudes was trying to hit on me and he just was not understanding that I wasn't having it. He sang for me. And I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. The bitch beer was not helping me in succeeding at ALL. Then as the night started to wind down he was getting ready to leave and invited me to come back to the tattoo shop. I told him I wasn't going ANYwhere, and he asked me what I was planning on doing then.

Me: Sleeping
Him: Well, you can come chill with me and we can go to sleep together.
Me: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no. That's not gonna happen. So you can take your hand off my ass now.

Then they left and it was just me and the people I actually invited.
My friend took me to get some mexican food.
And I got some birthday sex.

THE UGLY
I don't even know where to begin. Have you ever done something spontaneously and then thought, Now, why the fuck did I just do that???
I had that moment at the end of my birthday.
After all my guests had left, I decided to chill with one of my guy friends.
We were just talkin, drinkin, and chillin.
I see this guy as a brother. I care about his opinion, I don't like the thought of him thinking down on me.
We're sitting next to each other, lights dimmed. He sticks out his arm, grabs my hand and has me feel his pulse on his wrist.
Then the inside of his elbow.
Then the side of his neck.
When I reached over to feel the other side of his neck, he leaned in and kissed me.
My buzz DISAPPEARED. And my eyes got HUGE.
Because this was not suppose to happen, yet it was. I froze.
His kisses tasted fruity, like one of the Trident gums...and something in my brain said "Don't say shit."
So I didn't. Then he pulled me into his lap. And he started kissing my neck. I'm halfway enjoying it half way thinking "Is this really happening?"
I didn't think it was gonna go any further than an intense makeout session, but next thing I knew I was on the ground laying on my back with his face between my thighs.
My eyes are still big, because not only did I kiss the man, he's now giving me head, which I didn't ask for. You don't come across too many men who just dive down.
He comes up for air and I swear to you I have never seen anyone rip their pants off so fast. I mean it literally looked as if he had on breakaways, they came off so effortlessly...idk how he did it. Then my legs were on his shoulder. I'm laying here trying to enjoy myself, but there is this nagging voice in my head that isn't letting me do so. I knew he wasn't a virgin, I knew he had sex, but I could never pictured him having sex, let alone have sex with me. And he was. We were. We were doing this, no turning back. As we all know, I love being spanked. But tonight I couldn't even enjoy it because I was hoping my aunt couldn't hear. That's what I did the whole time. Thinking. I should have been enjoying myself but nooooo, my stupid left brain wasn't allowing me to do so.
He looks at me an says he wants to try something. I look at him an ask him what, and he says 69. I'm a little hesitant, because I was still getting over the fact that he just had his face buried in my goods, but I was like what the hell an hopped on. One thing I learned about him, he's a giver. And he gives FREQUENTLY.
Under normal circumstances, that would have been a birthday well spent.
And I wanted to get laid on my birthday.
But I never imagined it would turn out like that.
When it was over, I sat up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. So I laid there. And thought some more.
He got up and got dressed, I walked him to the door, and he asked me if there was going to be any weirdness between us. I assured him there wouldn't be and he kissed me goodbye.
I just kinda stood there still asking myself "Did that really just happen?"
We briefly chatted the next day like nothing happened, and that was that.

I have no problem sleeping w/ a cute guy I met at a party. The less I know about you, the better.
Sleeping with friends is difficult.
I know waaaaay more than I should about you, as do you know about me.
If you sleep with a close friend with the intention of getting together, then that's okay. You've already skipped that whole "getting to know you" phase.
I still value our friendship, but I know and he knows the next time we see each other in person it's going to be suuuuper awkward. I just hope it's not too awkward.
I just wish that the guy friends I do have that have propositioned me before don't think I'm just being a bitch when I turn em down, they just need to understand since we're already friends, it won't just be some random hook up its gonna be awkward. A friendship is like a relationship sans the intimacy. Two close friends can't have NSA sex because there were feelings there before the clothes even came off. Then if the sex is bad, you're probably never gonna wanna talk to that person again, and they're gonna wonder why you're acting all "brand new" and its a bunch of bullshit from there.

*sigh* I just hadda get that off my chest.

BOOSTER SEAT

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Just waiting til my next issue

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industyy