I've had this blog for 3 years now. And I post nowhere near as much as I did when I started. And I apologize. I gotta fix this. I'll post on the Puerto Rican soon, the jury is still out on him as of now. Eh.
I have been putting this blog off for so long and I have no clue why. I think it's important. You all have really gotta stop letting music videos and "The Player's Club" shape your ideals of strippers. While some may be true, it's not true for the majority of us. It cracks me up how much people will talk down on us, make assumptions about what we do, but then look at me and go "But not you! You're cool." Yeah, WHATEVER. That's basically how you feel behind my back. Like if I say all Asians drive like shit and then look at my nearest Asian friend and go "But you drive better than them!" I'm still talking shit on her indirectly. I think it's dumb. If that's how your small minded ass feels about strippers as a whole, then fine. But don't try to tell me you didn't mean me like I'm stupid. And the funny thing is it's mainly the people who have never been inside a strip club that have the most shit to say. Go shut the fuck up and fly a damn kite.
People have this idea that we're all sex addicts who fuck people at work for 20 bucks. That we all have daddy issues or were molested as children. Like nobody could ever WANT to be a stripper. Well, lo and behold I actually LIKE my job. I wasn't raped or touched or anything, my relationship with my dad is fine. And the LAST thing I want to do is fuck a customer, ESPECIALLY for 20 bucks. I'm the laziest stripper you know. I try to do as little as possible for as much money as possible. Of course I have to work it a bit and turn my customer on, but once they start talking about sex it's time to go. All the clubs I've worked at, there's only a small percentage of girls using the club as a cover for their hooking activities, and they usually get caught soon after. Mostly, everyone just wants to dance and make money, and only dance. And if someone wants to pay me for sex there's going to be at least 3 zeros attached to whatever their offer is because if you can drop thousands on sex you can drop much more on other things. But that's neither here nor there.
And not all strippers are single working at the club hoping to get a man. So stop falling in love at the strip club. A good number either have boyfriends, are married, or don't even like men. What gets on my nerves is when guys come in talking about "I'm not gonna pay for a lap dance, I'd rather pay for your dinner." Bitch I can buy my own dinner thanks. How are you gonna come into my job, waste my time, and still expect me to want to go on a date with you? I don't get paid hourly, and I'm not there to find a man. I'm there to make money. And if you aren't talking business, get the fuck out the club. Why are you even there to begin with with no money?! Nobody except the dumb girls has time for that unless you're really balling, which most of the ones looking for dates aren't. And no, we don't wanna go back to your place to "party". You can go home alone. Or go to the hoe stroll. The look on dudes faces when you tell them get a hooker and they're like "I'd NEVER." you came into the club looking for someone to pay for sex. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck.................
Oh, my favorite line is "You're too pretty to be here" or "do you have kids?" Well, are only ugly girls supposed to be strippers? I don't think people would go to clubs if all the girls were ugly. And yes I have 10 kids and I'm working here to support them -___________-. I'm just here to make more money than a minimum wage job. That's all. I'm not gonna be here for the rest of my life and when I get phased out be like "fuck. I have no skills. Now what?" Shit we go to school, we have day jobs! We're not all coked out working just enough to get our next fix. I'm not gonna be young and pretty forever, why not capitalize on it? Shit I pay my way thru school! *Gasp* yes, I go to school. I have goals and ambitions and they don't stop on stage.
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr why am I even wasting my breath when I know 9 times outta 10 people will still refuse to be open minded about shit. I can talk until I'm blue in the face, yet you'll watch "The Player's Club" and swear up and down that's how it is. Hmph. Welp. I'll just continue what I'm doing and if a dude has ever slandered dancers and ends u pin my DM box talking about "Let's kick it" I'm blasting his ass. You can call us hoes and unwifeable and shit and the best I can do is turn you down and prove you wrong, at least speaking for myself. All I'm saying is open your minds and grow the fuck up.
Yeah nobody is listening.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Showing posts with label Bitch Please. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bitch Please. Show all posts
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Random Pish Posh
So here's another random ass blog of just stuff that's been on my mind lately.
First off, FUCK El Capitan okay. After that first day when he only fucked me once he promised me that next time would be longer. Okay. So we planned to meet up again, and this time he requested anal. I didn't remember him being too girthy so I thought, shit, why the fuck not. I get into town and go to work, since I'm going to see him in the morning. Mind you I didn't even wanna be in town that weekend I only went for some peen. He told me to come at 8:30 which meant I had time to go eat breakfast and head out to him. I made it out there at 7:30 and at 8 he tells me sorry he fell asleep on me but if I can pick him up an hr away. Are you shitting me?! I just drove an hour to see you! I was just like shit I'm already out here for some peen might as well. But he owes me BIG TIME. I was not even 5 minutes into my journey to go see him before he started complaining about having his bike with him and how it wouldn't fit in my car or some shit. Then he said today is just not a good day I'm sorry and fell off the face of the earth. MOTHERFUCKER. I could've been sleep!!!! I called him everything but a child of god that morning. A few weeks later he hits me up and asks if I wanna come hang out with him cause he's having a party. I asked him if his parents were outta town or something and he says yeah. I'm like I'm down, thinking once the party is over I can hang around for a bit since no one is gonna be there. He asks if I can bring some friends for his cousins. I don't see why not, although the only girls I know work at the club and it would be kinda hard to pull them away from work on a Friday night. I figured I'd fib a bit, say they were coming on their own, and when they didn't show be fake mad about it, but suggesting we should still have sex since I'm already there. Well, I get there and lemme tell you I'm SOOO GLAD none of my friends came thru. Bitch sent me on a dirty mission! When I told him if I brought girls they wouldn't be strippers his cousins were disappointed. Cause you know, all strippers are easy. When I got there I was horrified. If my friend asked me to hang out with her dude's friends and they were all ugly I'd punch her in the ovaries. Which is exactly what my friends woulda done. And I wouldn't have even been mad at them about it. None of them were cute. I hung around and then after an hour I said they weren't coming. This bitch then decided to send me on my merry way because "he didn't want me to hang out here by myself". What about the original fucking reason I came out here in the first place bitch?! I was too hot because once again I drove to him for some peen and left empty handed. When I brought up that fact he said "I know, that sucks." Well fuck you too then! He drunkenly hit me up after that, but other than that I haven't heard from his punk ass. I'm not with that shit lol. And btw he's still using the nickname that I came up with as his name on twitter. As of now he has to find a new nickname. He is no longer allowed to use it.
OH! Here's another thing that pissed me off. So I have this friend who lives a few states away, but we still text each other nshit and we had always discussed meeting up soon, but the shit never got past the random suggestion stage. One day he randomly hits me up telling me he'll be in Vegas soon and if I would like to come I'm basically more than welcome. I'm like yessss a weekend in Vegas with some guaranteed peen why the fuck not. He let me know about 2 months prior so I had enough time to get my life together. First it was gonna be a trip with me and my friends and I would just see him while I was down there. Then my friends bailed so my sole purpose of even going was to hang out with him. As the date approached, I felt like I was asking about Vegas more than he was, and it was his trip! We talked like a week before about it and how he was basically going to fuck my brains out and I was all "yaaaaaaay". A few days before the trip I asked if he was driving so I knew whether I'd need a cab, or if I should just drive the entire way, you know just needing to straighten out some fuzzy details. no response. Hit him the next day since it was kinda late his time. Nothing. Finally a day before I'm supposed to leave he hits me and says yeah my buddy drove. This was after I had already seen him update fb and twitter that he was indeed driving with his friend. Tf? I decided to leave my car in SoCal and take a shuttle to Vegas and asked if he could get me from the Excalibur. He told me they just took a shuttle to and from the strip, and that it stops at the Excalibur. When I asked him what time he'd be done Friday so I knew what time to leave he told me when he'd be done for the entire weekend and I'm like no, I just need to know about Friday. No response. Sent him a pic of my fresh ass wax job. Nothing. Now he was starting to piss me off. Friday morning I text him and ask him what the plan was. Once again I got nothing. So I was like fuck it you must not want me to go then! I gave him until 4pm, cause I was not about to be driving to Vegas at all times of the night. 4pm came and nothing. So I said fuck it and hung out with Sexsomniac and my brother instead. I told them what was going on and was like "Watch. He's gonna hit me up around 9 asking where I'm at. Ol' smug ass bastard.". Like I'm going to Vegas alone. I'm not gonna drive out there and twiddle my thumbs hoping you might hit me up. What would happen if you didn't? I would've just wasted my gas and been stuck in Vegas. Sure enough 10 o'clock came and I got a "Are you in Vegas?" text. Bitch are you serious?! I haven't heard from you all day, not to mention trying to get info from you was like pulling teeth and you still expected me to go? So I did him how he did me and ignored his ass while continuing to tweet and update my fb. When I finally did answer I hit him with a dry ass "Nope." and he sent me a sad face. Bitch get the entire fuck outta here okay? This is YOUR fault. Although I wasn't tripping because of course Sexsomniac came in clutch as always. But that's another blog for another day.
I went on a date last week. And don't get me wrong I enjoyed myself and the free Ruth's Chris Steak House. Just not the guy I was with. Lol. He was slightly annoying. He was a 32 yr old white guy who was a regional manager of a produce company from Sacramento to Bakersfield. And not interesting whatsoever. He was more interested by me. I was trying to be kinda mean and weird, and that made him like me even more. Fuhhhhhhhh. After the date and my steak he started hitting me up every day to plan our next date for the following week. Slow ya roll sir. I stopped answering his texts and he would literally have full blown conversations with himself. He called me rude for not returning a compliment or even saying thank you, and how I'm missing out on him and whatnot. After 12 unanswered texts I know I would get the hint. Not this guy. He wants to take me to Flemmings next. I don't think I have the heart to stomach another date with him for free yummy food when I don't even wanna be at the same table as the guy. We are in two completely different places in our lives! I was trying to picture him hanging out with my friends and I couldn't do it. I imagined him being uncomfortable as fuck. I don't wanna be a bitch but I swear he wants to meet my mom and get my dad's blessing already! I copped out and told him his persistence was kinda killing it for me and he said he really likes me and is intrigued by me and he doesn't want that. He knows I'm busy so he'll let up. Hopefully I won't have to hear from him again. lol.
Sometimes I wish I didn't like good dick so much. It makes me crazy. I feel like I don't get it enough to turn it down when they act stupid, which in turn makes me mad cause they still continue to act stupid. But I need it more than I need them to stop acting stupid, if that makes any sense to you. Makes perfect sense in my head.
I need to stop smoking/consuming weed. I need to be able to land a day job with clean pee so stripping can go back to being my side hustle. Because Uncle Sam is fucking me in the ass with no lube.
I can't remember the last time I watched porn. And I only watch it when I'm about to rub one out. So I haven't done that either. Be proud of me.
Puerto Ricans eat thee best pussy. This is not up for debate.
I like my guy to make the first move so I don't feel like some sex addicted spider monkey feind. My aggression scares people for some reason. So I'll just sit here and wait on you instead.
If I refer to you as a brother that doesn't mean hop in the bed with me at 3am asking if I wanna cuddle. And when I say no and threaten to fart on you if you touch me to whine and complain about how horny you are. Clearly you are unclear on the concept. And I don't care how horny you are. Stay on your fucking side of the bed and shut the fuck up or get out and sleep on the floor. All the other brothers get it! Get with the program!
Are we still out there eating ass? Not that I'm looking to have mine ate I'm just curious.
Good kissers make my panties wet. So do hickies.
I've lost 7 lbs. But probably gained back half of that over spring break. Boo.
I'd like to thank the Mexican boy who lived around the corner for making me who I am today. Without him my oral skills wouldn't be as on point as they are. Practice makes perfect, and when we'd get outta school 2 hours early every other Wednesday I sure as hell got my practice in. Although you annoy the shit out of me now and I will most likely never fuck you again, I wanna say I do appreciate you! Every time I see someone's eyes roll into the back of their head and feel their legs spasm. You go, Glen Coco.
The best way to end spring break is to have said Puerto Rican eating you out while you smoke a bowl. Yessss spring break turned out better than I expected.
Well, I'm off to get ready for work. I shall still update you on Sexsomnaic and the Puerto Rican.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
First off, FUCK El Capitan okay. After that first day when he only fucked me once he promised me that next time would be longer. Okay. So we planned to meet up again, and this time he requested anal. I didn't remember him being too girthy so I thought, shit, why the fuck not. I get into town and go to work, since I'm going to see him in the morning. Mind you I didn't even wanna be in town that weekend I only went for some peen. He told me to come at 8:30 which meant I had time to go eat breakfast and head out to him. I made it out there at 7:30 and at 8 he tells me sorry he fell asleep on me but if I can pick him up an hr away. Are you shitting me?! I just drove an hour to see you! I was just like shit I'm already out here for some peen might as well. But he owes me BIG TIME. I was not even 5 minutes into my journey to go see him before he started complaining about having his bike with him and how it wouldn't fit in my car or some shit. Then he said today is just not a good day I'm sorry and fell off the face of the earth. MOTHERFUCKER. I could've been sleep!!!! I called him everything but a child of god that morning. A few weeks later he hits me up and asks if I wanna come hang out with him cause he's having a party. I asked him if his parents were outta town or something and he says yeah. I'm like I'm down, thinking once the party is over I can hang around for a bit since no one is gonna be there. He asks if I can bring some friends for his cousins. I don't see why not, although the only girls I know work at the club and it would be kinda hard to pull them away from work on a Friday night. I figured I'd fib a bit, say they were coming on their own, and when they didn't show be fake mad about it, but suggesting we should still have sex since I'm already there. Well, I get there and lemme tell you I'm SOOO GLAD none of my friends came thru. Bitch sent me on a dirty mission! When I told him if I brought girls they wouldn't be strippers his cousins were disappointed. Cause you know, all strippers are easy. When I got there I was horrified. If my friend asked me to hang out with her dude's friends and they were all ugly I'd punch her in the ovaries. Which is exactly what my friends woulda done. And I wouldn't have even been mad at them about it. None of them were cute. I hung around and then after an hour I said they weren't coming. This bitch then decided to send me on my merry way because "he didn't want me to hang out here by myself". What about the original fucking reason I came out here in the first place bitch?! I was too hot because once again I drove to him for some peen and left empty handed. When I brought up that fact he said "I know, that sucks." Well fuck you too then! He drunkenly hit me up after that, but other than that I haven't heard from his punk ass. I'm not with that shit lol. And btw he's still using the nickname that I came up with as his name on twitter. As of now he has to find a new nickname. He is no longer allowed to use it.
OH! Here's another thing that pissed me off. So I have this friend who lives a few states away, but we still text each other nshit and we had always discussed meeting up soon, but the shit never got past the random suggestion stage. One day he randomly hits me up telling me he'll be in Vegas soon and if I would like to come I'm basically more than welcome. I'm like yessss a weekend in Vegas with some guaranteed peen why the fuck not. He let me know about 2 months prior so I had enough time to get my life together. First it was gonna be a trip with me and my friends and I would just see him while I was down there. Then my friends bailed so my sole purpose of even going was to hang out with him. As the date approached, I felt like I was asking about Vegas more than he was, and it was his trip! We talked like a week before about it and how he was basically going to fuck my brains out and I was all "yaaaaaaay". A few days before the trip I asked if he was driving so I knew whether I'd need a cab, or if I should just drive the entire way, you know just needing to straighten out some fuzzy details. no response. Hit him the next day since it was kinda late his time. Nothing. Finally a day before I'm supposed to leave he hits me and says yeah my buddy drove. This was after I had already seen him update fb and twitter that he was indeed driving with his friend. Tf? I decided to leave my car in SoCal and take a shuttle to Vegas and asked if he could get me from the Excalibur. He told me they just took a shuttle to and from the strip, and that it stops at the Excalibur. When I asked him what time he'd be done Friday so I knew what time to leave he told me when he'd be done for the entire weekend and I'm like no, I just need to know about Friday. No response. Sent him a pic of my fresh ass wax job. Nothing. Now he was starting to piss me off. Friday morning I text him and ask him what the plan was. Once again I got nothing. So I was like fuck it you must not want me to go then! I gave him until 4pm, cause I was not about to be driving to Vegas at all times of the night. 4pm came and nothing. So I said fuck it and hung out with Sexsomniac and my brother instead. I told them what was going on and was like "Watch. He's gonna hit me up around 9 asking where I'm at. Ol' smug ass bastard.". Like I'm going to Vegas alone. I'm not gonna drive out there and twiddle my thumbs hoping you might hit me up. What would happen if you didn't? I would've just wasted my gas and been stuck in Vegas. Sure enough 10 o'clock came and I got a "Are you in Vegas?" text. Bitch are you serious?! I haven't heard from you all day, not to mention trying to get info from you was like pulling teeth and you still expected me to go? So I did him how he did me and ignored his ass while continuing to tweet and update my fb. When I finally did answer I hit him with a dry ass "Nope." and he sent me a sad face. Bitch get the entire fuck outta here okay? This is YOUR fault. Although I wasn't tripping because of course Sexsomniac came in clutch as always. But that's another blog for another day.
I went on a date last week. And don't get me wrong I enjoyed myself and the free Ruth's Chris Steak House. Just not the guy I was with. Lol. He was slightly annoying. He was a 32 yr old white guy who was a regional manager of a produce company from Sacramento to Bakersfield. And not interesting whatsoever. He was more interested by me. I was trying to be kinda mean and weird, and that made him like me even more. Fuhhhhhhhh. After the date and my steak he started hitting me up every day to plan our next date for the following week. Slow ya roll sir. I stopped answering his texts and he would literally have full blown conversations with himself. He called me rude for not returning a compliment or even saying thank you, and how I'm missing out on him and whatnot. After 12 unanswered texts I know I would get the hint. Not this guy. He wants to take me to Flemmings next. I don't think I have the heart to stomach another date with him for free yummy food when I don't even wanna be at the same table as the guy. We are in two completely different places in our lives! I was trying to picture him hanging out with my friends and I couldn't do it. I imagined him being uncomfortable as fuck. I don't wanna be a bitch but I swear he wants to meet my mom and get my dad's blessing already! I copped out and told him his persistence was kinda killing it for me and he said he really likes me and is intrigued by me and he doesn't want that. He knows I'm busy so he'll let up. Hopefully I won't have to hear from him again. lol.
Sometimes I wish I didn't like good dick so much. It makes me crazy. I feel like I don't get it enough to turn it down when they act stupid, which in turn makes me mad cause they still continue to act stupid. But I need it more than I need them to stop acting stupid, if that makes any sense to you. Makes perfect sense in my head.
I need to stop smoking/consuming weed. I need to be able to land a day job with clean pee so stripping can go back to being my side hustle. Because Uncle Sam is fucking me in the ass with no lube.
I can't remember the last time I watched porn. And I only watch it when I'm about to rub one out. So I haven't done that either. Be proud of me.
Puerto Ricans eat thee best pussy. This is not up for debate.
I like my guy to make the first move so I don't feel like some sex addicted spider monkey feind. My aggression scares people for some reason. So I'll just sit here and wait on you instead.
If I refer to you as a brother that doesn't mean hop in the bed with me at 3am asking if I wanna cuddle. And when I say no and threaten to fart on you if you touch me to whine and complain about how horny you are. Clearly you are unclear on the concept. And I don't care how horny you are. Stay on your fucking side of the bed and shut the fuck up or get out and sleep on the floor. All the other brothers get it! Get with the program!
Are we still out there eating ass? Not that I'm looking to have mine ate I'm just curious.
Good kissers make my panties wet. So do hickies.
I've lost 7 lbs. But probably gained back half of that over spring break. Boo.
I'd like to thank the Mexican boy who lived around the corner for making me who I am today. Without him my oral skills wouldn't be as on point as they are. Practice makes perfect, and when we'd get outta school 2 hours early every other Wednesday I sure as hell got my practice in. Although you annoy the shit out of me now and I will most likely never fuck you again, I wanna say I do appreciate you! Every time I see someone's eyes roll into the back of their head and feel their legs spasm. You go, Glen Coco.
The best way to end spring break is to have said Puerto Rican eating you out while you smoke a bowl. Yessss spring break turned out better than I expected.
Well, I'm off to get ready for work. I shall still update you on Sexsomnaic and the Puerto Rican.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
He Want That...Cake Cake Cake ...
‘Ello babes and gents. I know everyone has been wondering where the fuck I’ve been for the past month or so…and the answer is…not doing shit. I started working at a different club in LA and I make a lot more money out there which is good…my sex life low key sucks but what else Is new…and we had a birthday! (the blog not me). And to celebrate I’d figure I’d just write til my fingers fall off.
BABY MAMA DRAMA
I hate being involved in baby mama drama, especially when I’m not even that involved with the guy the bitch is going crazy over. I remember this one time in the back back days where this guy was hitting me up trying to hang out and I found out the day we hung out was two days after his baby mama had their kid! Look up "triflin’" in the dictionary I bet you’d see his face! But I don’t wanna talk about the dudes I wanna talk about the girls. I’m in this situation and I don’t know what direction I should go in. So there’s obviously this guy, and we’re just cool friends. Anyways I got his baby mama on my phone at ungodly hours calling me cussing me out, sending me nasty messages on facebook…and the kicker is, her and my friend have been back together! Like bitch are you kidding me?! If he wanted me, he would be with me make no mistake about that. But he chose to try the family thing again so he’s with you. If you got your man and happy family, why the fuck are you bothering me? I damn sure ain’t bothering him! I could ask my friend to do something about it but crazy bitches are known for pulling the “You’ll never see your kid again” card and my conscious can’t take that kind of stress even if it isn’t directly my fault. But I do think dudes should keep their baby mamas in check as best they can when it comes to female friends whose only crimes are simply existing. Back to this crazy bitch tho. The way I see it, I have one of two options: I can either beat the bitch’s ass when I see her out and about, choke slam now ask questions later type shit…or I can keep track of all the threats and have her ass arrested for harassment and criminal threats (which is a FELONY I have learned) and show the bitch nobody is playing with her ass. Because we are grown ass women and should be able to handle the situation as such, but clearly that isn’t on her agenda. The bitch just needs to find herself some business and stick her damn nose in it and leave me the hell alone. The only problem with both these situations is that by doing either one my friend prolly won’t be too happy with me after everything is all said and done so…what do I do?!
SEX && FEET
I have pretty feet. And by pretty feet I mean my second toe is shorter than my big toe. I have no corns. I get a pedicure about every 3 weeks and I make sure to exfoliate all the rough skin off my heels. And my big toes aren’t hairy. And I can appreciate a lady having pretty feet. One thing I can’t get down with tho is guys feet. I have always felt a certain way about men feet, mainly because they’re ugly as fuck. Most men wanna act like they don’t need a pedicure every now and then because it isn’t “manly” or whatever, but that is no excuse for your toes to be throwing up gang signs nshit! Get rid of all the corns and rough skin, CLIP THOSE DAMN TOE NAILS DOWN!!! You shouldn’t be able to shred my damn sheets with your feet alone. THAT being said…I get irked when guys wear socks during sex. It looks ghetto as hell and I hate it. Like being butt ass naked in a pair of tube socks has never been sexy to me. I’m left at a catch 22 - I hate ugly men feet but I hate socks equally as much…at the end of the night I’d rather you just take your socks off. Now I can let you fucking me in a pair of Jordans slide, I’ve done it before and I’m like you keep your J’s on I’ll keep my Nikes on and keep things moving. Because sometimes you just can’t go barefoot outside…
I ran into Brian Pumper last weekend(yes the one that fucked Montana Fishbourne aka Chippy D aka Chips Ahoy booty) and my oh my if that isn’t the finest man walking, no matter how corny his big ass is. Anyways I YouTube’d a couple of his music videos and a web series came up called “Brian Pumper: Life Of A Porno Nigga” (if you like World Star Hip Hop then you’ve either A.) already seen it or B.) it will be right up your alley I PROMISE! How it isn’t on tv already I have no idea. Go watch. You won’t be disappointed) and one of the episodes touched on him having a foot fetish. I don’t watch too many of his scenes so I had no idea. Then he starts going around sniffing strangers feet nshit and talking about if he can smell this girl’s toes and jack off at the same time…I just can’t! And the kicker is he likes smelly feet! People have their fetishes and I’m not one to judge but if a dude asked me if he could rub my feet allover his face while he jacked off…I’d be a little put off by it.
DOPE DICK SLANGERS
In a perfect world I would have one of these who would satisfy my every sexual need when I needed them taken care of. I haven’t had sex in about a month or so, and I’m getting that addict itch going on. I’ve been having some okay sex to get me by but shit…it isn’t enough! I haven’t had really good sex since you know who which was back in January…and you know sometimes I rant on twitter about not getting the D when I need it, or why when I DO get it it sucks:( like I’m being punished for some crimes I did in my past life or something. One of my followers was telling me it shouldn’t be hard to find since I’m a girl and this seems to be the general consensus for men about women and sex. Let me break it down for you guys:
While YES it may be easier for me to call someone up and get laid than it would be for a guy it isn’t that simple. The problem for you is that most of the time guys are friends with girls that given the chance if they weren’t as close or whatever they’d probably smash (whether you wanna admit it or NOT). Women tend to be friends with men and just that. There are PLENTY of my guy friends I wouldn’t have sex with EVER, but on a drunken occasion or two have hinted that they wanna see how I get down in the bed (since I share all my stories with them anyways). So that would make it easier for the girl to call up a “friend” late at night for a “movie night” and he’d be over there faster than you can say “make sure you have a condom;)”. Another important thing to remember is that for men, all they need is a wet warm hole to stick their dick in so they can fuck it til kingdom cum. 98% of the time with enough stimulation a man can have his nut. For women it’s not that easy!!! I can’t just go fuck ANYBODY expecting the sex to be good. You gotta deal with dudes that can’t get it up, dudes that can’t keep it up, dudes that cum too early, dudes whose dicks were too small ect…so many things can go wrong! I’ve never had one of my guy friends come up to me and say “Man I had sex with this girl and it sucked because her cookie was too big”.
SIDEBAR: I’m not blaming bad sex solely on men because sometimes you’ll get a girl who doesn’t shave, didn’t wipe good enough, just has a particular odor or whatever I’m just talking in terms of sexual dysfunction it’s generally the man’s fault. If the reason you can’t get it hard is cause of something she’s doing then ABORT MISSION!
So I have to narrow down the playing field. I’m used to whale penises that stroke my g-spot constantly and I don’t feel that I should always have to settle for less if I don’t have to! If you aren’t showing me anything that shows you have potential then I’m definitely not about to show you what color my thong is that night. I can’t just lay there and call that good sex you gotta know what you’re doing. So when I go thru my phone book and realize the only dudes I have the option of calling are wack, I have no options. When I have no options, I have no sex. When I have no sex, I have no sanity. THAT’S why, in theory, it actually is HARDER for me to get laid than it is for my counterparts with the penises.
Back to my diamond tipped dick havers, I need me a pusher. A pusher of that sexual napalm. Give me sexual ecstasy. Make me come begging for more. Make me hate every bitch I see you out in public with, even if she’s your sister. I know what I want, when I want it, how I want it and where I want it. As you have all bared witness before, give me the good shit I’ll buy you tacos after. A latino diamond tipped dope dick slanger sounds sooo lovely right about now (although I don’t discriminate). I really wish you guys just fell out of the sky…
QUESTION: In all seriousness, as a man, could you have sex (almost) every day? Not would you, but if you had someone willing to have sex with you every day would you physically be able to do so? There are plenty of dudes who say they can, then when it comes down to it we find out they ain’t about that life. Could you?
A BIT OR RANDOMNESS
If you’re at school and you notice you have a cute classmate that you wouldn’t mind humping the shit out of, wait til the end of the semester. That way, if you guys DO have sex and it sucks, you won’t have to see their face every week.
Happy birthday to us, we’re now 2 years old. Glad everyone is enjoying the blog thus far, your feedback is great, love all the positive comments you guys leave (even if it’s not a lot). Always gotta appreciate the ones who’ve stuck around since day one and followed the soap opera known as Happenis and whatnot. Hopefully I find someone new and there will be exciting things to come!
Next week we'll talk about cruising for ass on CraigsList. Lol
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
BABY MAMA DRAMA
I hate being involved in baby mama drama, especially when I’m not even that involved with the guy the bitch is going crazy over. I remember this one time in the back back days where this guy was hitting me up trying to hang out and I found out the day we hung out was two days after his baby mama had their kid! Look up "triflin’" in the dictionary I bet you’d see his face! But I don’t wanna talk about the dudes I wanna talk about the girls. I’m in this situation and I don’t know what direction I should go in. So there’s obviously this guy, and we’re just cool friends. Anyways I got his baby mama on my phone at ungodly hours calling me cussing me out, sending me nasty messages on facebook…and the kicker is, her and my friend have been back together! Like bitch are you kidding me?! If he wanted me, he would be with me make no mistake about that. But he chose to try the family thing again so he’s with you. If you got your man and happy family, why the fuck are you bothering me? I damn sure ain’t bothering him! I could ask my friend to do something about it but crazy bitches are known for pulling the “You’ll never see your kid again” card and my conscious can’t take that kind of stress even if it isn’t directly my fault. But I do think dudes should keep their baby mamas in check as best they can when it comes to female friends whose only crimes are simply existing. Back to this crazy bitch tho. The way I see it, I have one of two options: I can either beat the bitch’s ass when I see her out and about, choke slam now ask questions later type shit…or I can keep track of all the threats and have her ass arrested for harassment and criminal threats (which is a FELONY I have learned) and show the bitch nobody is playing with her ass. Because we are grown ass women and should be able to handle the situation as such, but clearly that isn’t on her agenda. The bitch just needs to find herself some business and stick her damn nose in it and leave me the hell alone. The only problem with both these situations is that by doing either one my friend prolly won’t be too happy with me after everything is all said and done so…what do I do?!
SEX && FEET
I have pretty feet. And by pretty feet I mean my second toe is shorter than my big toe. I have no corns. I get a pedicure about every 3 weeks and I make sure to exfoliate all the rough skin off my heels. And my big toes aren’t hairy. And I can appreciate a lady having pretty feet. One thing I can’t get down with tho is guys feet. I have always felt a certain way about men feet, mainly because they’re ugly as fuck. Most men wanna act like they don’t need a pedicure every now and then because it isn’t “manly” or whatever, but that is no excuse for your toes to be throwing up gang signs nshit! Get rid of all the corns and rough skin, CLIP THOSE DAMN TOE NAILS DOWN!!! You shouldn’t be able to shred my damn sheets with your feet alone. THAT being said…I get irked when guys wear socks during sex. It looks ghetto as hell and I hate it. Like being butt ass naked in a pair of tube socks has never been sexy to me. I’m left at a catch 22 - I hate ugly men feet but I hate socks equally as much…at the end of the night I’d rather you just take your socks off. Now I can let you fucking me in a pair of Jordans slide, I’ve done it before and I’m like you keep your J’s on I’ll keep my Nikes on and keep things moving. Because sometimes you just can’t go barefoot outside…
DOPE DICK SLANGERS
In a perfect world I would have one of these who would satisfy my every sexual need when I needed them taken care of. I haven’t had sex in about a month or so, and I’m getting that addict itch going on. I’ve been having some okay sex to get me by but shit…it isn’t enough! I haven’t had really good sex since you know who which was back in January…and you know sometimes I rant on twitter about not getting the D when I need it, or why when I DO get it it sucks:( like I’m being punished for some crimes I did in my past life or something. One of my followers was telling me it shouldn’t be hard to find since I’m a girl and this seems to be the general consensus for men about women and sex. Let me break it down for you guys:
While YES it may be easier for me to call someone up and get laid than it would be for a guy it isn’t that simple. The problem for you is that most of the time guys are friends with girls that given the chance if they weren’t as close or whatever they’d probably smash (whether you wanna admit it or NOT). Women tend to be friends with men and just that. There are PLENTY of my guy friends I wouldn’t have sex with EVER, but on a drunken occasion or two have hinted that they wanna see how I get down in the bed (since I share all my stories with them anyways). So that would make it easier for the girl to call up a “friend” late at night for a “movie night” and he’d be over there faster than you can say “make sure you have a condom;)”. Another important thing to remember is that for men, all they need is a wet warm hole to stick their dick in so they can fuck it til kingdom cum. 98% of the time with enough stimulation a man can have his nut. For women it’s not that easy!!! I can’t just go fuck ANYBODY expecting the sex to be good. You gotta deal with dudes that can’t get it up, dudes that can’t keep it up, dudes that cum too early, dudes whose dicks were too small ect…so many things can go wrong! I’ve never had one of my guy friends come up to me and say “Man I had sex with this girl and it sucked because her cookie was too big”.
SIDEBAR: I’m not blaming bad sex solely on men because sometimes you’ll get a girl who doesn’t shave, didn’t wipe good enough, just has a particular odor or whatever I’m just talking in terms of sexual dysfunction it’s generally the man’s fault. If the reason you can’t get it hard is cause of something she’s doing then ABORT MISSION!
So I have to narrow down the playing field. I’m used to whale penises that stroke my g-spot constantly and I don’t feel that I should always have to settle for less if I don’t have to! If you aren’t showing me anything that shows you have potential then I’m definitely not about to show you what color my thong is that night. I can’t just lay there and call that good sex you gotta know what you’re doing. So when I go thru my phone book and realize the only dudes I have the option of calling are wack, I have no options. When I have no options, I have no sex. When I have no sex, I have no sanity. THAT’S why, in theory, it actually is HARDER for me to get laid than it is for my counterparts with the penises.
Back to my diamond tipped dick havers, I need me a pusher. A pusher of that sexual napalm. Give me sexual ecstasy. Make me come begging for more. Make me hate every bitch I see you out in public with, even if she’s your sister. I know what I want, when I want it, how I want it and where I want it. As you have all bared witness before, give me the good shit I’ll buy you tacos after. A latino diamond tipped dope dick slanger sounds sooo lovely right about now (although I don’t discriminate). I really wish you guys just fell out of the sky…
QUESTION: In all seriousness, as a man, could you have sex (almost) every day? Not would you, but if you had someone willing to have sex with you every day would you physically be able to do so? There are plenty of dudes who say they can, then when it comes down to it we find out they ain’t about that life. Could you?
A BIT OR RANDOMNESS
If you’re at school and you notice you have a cute classmate that you wouldn’t mind humping the shit out of, wait til the end of the semester. That way, if you guys DO have sex and it sucks, you won’t have to see their face every week.
Happy birthday to us, we’re now 2 years old. Glad everyone is enjoying the blog thus far, your feedback is great, love all the positive comments you guys leave (even if it’s not a lot). Always gotta appreciate the ones who’ve stuck around since day one and followed the soap opera known as Happenis and whatnot. Hopefully I find someone new and there will be exciting things to come!
Next week we'll talk about cruising for ass on CraigsList. Lol
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Is Drunk Sex REALLY "Spectacular"?
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)