I haven't been on in ages. Prolly cause my sex life is non existent and I have nothing to write about. What's been going on with me? I work like a slave.
-Sleeping with someone you work with when you're there 5 days out the week could possibly be the worst decision you could ever make.
-The Antichrist formerly known as Happenis made a brief reappearance. That was short lived. But at least he remembered my birthday and I got some half decent birthday peen from it. But he wouldn't leave his new girlfriend and wouldn't give me a legit answer as to why he keeps coming back if he A. made it clear he wasn't leavin her ass and B. the bitch apparently sucks dick better than I do (HA! Bitch you wishhhhh). So he had to go. His bitch made him text me a few months after I ended it to "end it again". Then he came back yet AGAIN. But I was sleep. And I haven't heard from him since.
-Sexsomniac, my clutch, is clutch no longer. We had great hotel sex, I fucked him like 5 times that night it was great. Then he moved away, came back to visit, wanted to have sex with him when he was drunk & passed out so I gave him head until he woke up and we had sex and it was great. Then last time he came to visit he promised me sex then fell off the face of the earth. My last option vanished. I haz a sad. Moreso because I have no idea wtf happened. But what can ya do...
-Don't say you're gonna fuck me if you're not. And I hate the fact I feel like a thirsty ass hoe after you tell me that and I'm just over here like "k......soooooo...what's up?" We should've BEEN made this happen. Talkin all kinda shit. Of course you ain't about that life. OF FUCKING COURSE. Because this is me we're talking about.
-I still have yet to have someone explain to me why I come off as "intimidating" and me believe an ounce of what they say. I refuse to believe there is no one out there who just wants to have sex on a few (frequent) occasions. Am I getting old?! Am I supposed to be settled with a boyfriend by now?? IS THAT THE ONLY WAY I'M GOING TO GET LAID AROUND HERE?! Maybe I'll make a BlackPeopleMeet page. Or you think they'll take me on LatinosMeet or nah?
-I got a Christina piercing. It's dope af. I haven't put it to use yet. This makes me sad.
I really don't know what to update this blog with if I'm not having sex. I miss blogging but I literally have nothing to talk about lol. I miss y'all.
-Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
The reason for this blog is to share with my female readers my experiences with getting Brazilian waxes.
First Hoo-Rah
I can't remember exactly when I decided to start getting waxes but there was a spot by the mall where my friend worked and she told me that they were doing them for 30 bucks. Cheap enough for me! I walked into the nail salon and said I was here for a Brazilian and they said someone would be right with me. I was nervous as shit but figured it couldn't be TOO bad, because so many women got waxed. An older Asian lady who didn't know too much English told me to follow her to the back. The room she led me to just had a dentist type chair in there and I'm thinking "That's odd...how am I supposed to get waxed in a chair?" Due to some communication difficulties she thought I wanted an eyebrow wax. No ma'am a Brazilian. She led me to another room and omg. The fluorescent lighting was terrible and there was a table with a towel on it and her waxing station. I kidd you not it looked like that room doubled as a room to get back alley abortions in. But nonetheless I was gonna go thru with it. I started with my armpits which was bearable so I thought the Brazilian couldn't be that bad. We didn't even make it half way thru. I wasn't screaming but I would say omg really loud and be nervously laughing because I had never felt pain like that before. And that was only on the top! No way she was getting near my lips. I told her I couldn't finish and I got dressed, paid her and left. I had wax stuck to me everywhere and everything burned. But I was determined to go thru wit hit completely.
Second Go Round
I went back again, this time armed with a 600mG ibuprofen and Relax & Wax No Scream Cream. I took the meds about half an hour before my appointment and applied the cream 40 minutes before and even wore saran wrap around my cooch to increase the potency. I got there and I asked them how long for another Brazilian and they said 10 minutes. More like 40 minutes. Enough time for my cream and pills to wear off. We got a little further, I let her wax my butt cheeks but still didn't reach the lips. That shit hurt too much! I also noticed she didn't use different sticks! She kept double dipping her stick in the pot which is a HUGE red flag. When you get waxed they are always supposed to use a new stick when dipping it in the pot because it's a breeding ground for bacteria. Needless to say I wasn't going to be going back there any time soon.
Third Time's A Charm
My friends and I regularly meet up and go to happy hour together and one day we got there late so while we waited for it to start again we walked around the shopping plaza to see the new DSW. On the way I saw a salon was having a 30$ special on waxes too. It was a nicer salon so I thought, shit, why not? I walked in the next day and while they don't take walk ins she had an appt available within the hour. I stayed and while I waited I was offered refreshments. I'm liking this place already! I was greeted by this petite Mexican lady and she led me back to the room. I loved the ambiance of the salon, it was an upper scale one with soft lighting and a neutral color scheme throughout the salon. She led me back to a private room which looked like the rest of the salon, thank god. No back alley abortions here! There was soft music playing, and the table was plush. I laid down and I told her I'm still new to this, I haven't sat thru an entire Brazilian wax and that my first few experiences weren't pleasant. She apologized for my past experienced and assured me it get's easier. I laid on the table and she jumped right in. She uses both a hard wax and a soft wax. The difference is the soft wax is applied and ripped off with a resin cloth and a hard wax is applied, you wait for it to harden then you rip the entire thing off. I prefer hard wax if I had my pick. She was so fast and efficient, I didn't have to stop her once. Before I knew it she was telling me to lay on my side to get my butt. It was a little awkward having to hold my butt cheeks open for her so she could wax under my cheeks and down my crack. And having hot wax on your butt hole is a weird feeling. And I think I'm a bit of a freak and not like a sex freak but a weirdo freak cause I kinda liked having hot wax on my lips. Judge me. She was so fast, we finished in 20 minutes! She applied this shimmery lotion to my cooch which was a nice touch and bam we're done! I made sure to tip her to show my gratitude, and I even told her she had the hands of an angel lol. She makes my waxing experience so pleasant. I refer her to all my friends. Now the wax is normally 50, but if that means I don't have to feel like my skin is being ripped off and risk a bacterial infection I have no qualms about paying an extra 20 bucks.
So the bottom line for waxes is this (at least with my lady):
-it DOES hurt less when you go frequently. After that first wax after shaving your hair grows back thinner to there isn't as much pull.
-the most painful spot for me at first was right at the top where the two lips meet; now it's that last little strip of hair right before you get to the fleshy bits.
-getting around your butt waxed feels like having a band-aid ripped off.
-take some advil or tylenol before you go to lessen the sting
-exfoliate in the shower every day for at least a week.
-I use tend skin on my lady bits, but keep in mind if you use it right after a wax that shit feels like you dumped a gallon of rubbing alcohol on your vag. But it does help with ingrowns (as does exfoliating)
-it hurts I'm not gonna lie, but it's not unbearable. I think getting my tongue pierced hurt more anyway.
My next appointment wasn't until next Thursday but El Capitan finally grew a pair of balls and invited me over on Saturday and It was either I shave tonight and postpone my wax, or call in the morning and pray for the best. Thankfully she had an opening today so I'm waxed and ready, and before I go I'm going to vajazzle myself lol just for shits and giggs. And of course I will be blogging about it. I pray it's everything I dream of and more, but not so much because I don't wanna get hooked. I pray he has a big dick and that he knows how to move his ass. Because when you have so much sexual tension between someone and you finally get to fuck them and they suck it's a HUGE letdown:/
Welp, here goes nothin'.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Hayy y'all. It's now been two years since I first started banging the fuck out of Happenis...or rather he's been banging the shit out of me. Thru all the good sex and bad sex, trivial fights and even ER visits, we still manage to keep things going. And since he's usually drunk he's usually spewing out the most ridiculous comments. And I figure I'd share them with you:)
"I feel like you're waling around with 15 of my kids inside you" (words after sex)
"See? I have personality. There's more to me than just my big cock."
Me: Are you hungry? Him: Yeah, if robertitos and my cock are on your mind
Him: Are you mad at me? Me: no. (yes) Him: your a bitch. Me: why because I'm irritated?!?! *Couple hours later* Him: Are you done being mad? Me: Depends...am I still a bitch? Him: Nope. Me: then no. Him: kk come over
Him: wanna? Me: aaaaaaahhh!!! I'm on the road! Him: how far Me: mmm like an hour Him: Nvm *throws phone across car* *an hour later* Him: kk come get me A normal convo between us: Him: fix? Me: yeah. Him: come Me:omw Him: kk Me: outside Him: kk
*First ER visit* Me: You ripped me a new one. Him: Oops. weird lol
Me: yes and kinda painful lol
Him: Welcome lol
Me: I had to explain it to 6 different people last night
Him: "I was getting beasted and couldn't handle it. *sigh*"
Me: oh whateverrrrr that was all you lol
Him: I beasted you
Me: No you stabbed me lol
Him: BEASTMODE
Me: cheap shot
Him: KILLER INSTINCTS
Me: Killer instincts my ass
Him: Man if pole dancing's a art you know how many fucking artists I know? Me: one Him: one
Him: bomb pussy. no babies! Me: thank you. bomb dick. Him: I mean it! No babies.
"You piss me off a thousand times a month, I swear. But I still fucking love you."
*waves fingers in my face* Him: My fingers were in you. This is what you smell like *blows air in his face* Me: That's what YOU smell like.
"You want my cock soooo bad....it's gonna cost you though. I don't do any black friday deals"
"Sorry if your pussy is sore. No fucking babies"
Him: Where are you going? Me: To clean up the mess you made. I'm messy.
Him: you really need to stop peeing on yourself.
Me: shut. up.
"I don't want you to think I'm saying this just because you write
about me or because I'm coming down from being drunk, but your blog is
really good, you're good at writing and telling a story."
Him: Just grab it Me: No! I'm not gonna get you hard. I'm driving! And you're not about to attack me. Him: I won't get hard and you only have to shift until you get into what, like 3rd gear? Just touch it. I won't get hard. *grabs it* Me: I thought you said you weren't gonna get hard! Him: I mean you ARE touching my dick what did you expect?
Him: I think I came inside you
Me: what else is new?
Him: what do you mean?
Me: lol you do it all the time!
Him: dude stand up I don't want you having my babies
Me: lol then start pulling out
Him: how am I supposed to and you're laying there screaming my name telling me not to stop?
"You gotta understand from a guy's point of view though. Sending a girl to the ER cause she couldn't handle it is hilarious. I'm not gonna be like 'Oh, are you alright? Is your pussy okay?' I'm gonna laugh."
"You get so mad when I don't fuck you for 2 hours. Guess I've just set the standard too high for myself."
"Sometimes I just get into beast mode and fuck for four hours. I remember I fucked you for like three and you started complaining about your pussy hurting. It wasn't THAT bad."
"I don't want you having my babies ok, but if we had kids they'd have big dicks and big asses"
"You're welcome"
*during sex* "Oh you called other guys tonight before you called me huh? You tryna see other guys? Go ahead answer it. Pick that shit up"
"Look. I have a hundred dollar bill in my room. I'm gonna go to the
bank and cash it for singles. Then the next time we fuck while I'm
fucking you doggy style I'm gonna be slapping your ass and I'm gonna
make it rain on your back saying 'Alright alright alright you gon learn
today'. And we're gonna get it all on camera"
Him: What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT. Me: Whaaaaat? What what? Him: Are you on your fucking period dude? Me:
What? No I don't even get a period I'm on the shot *grabs fingers* you
don't even have blood on your fingers what are you talking about? Him: What is THAT *tugs on string* feels like a tampon are you wearing a tampon?! Me: Oh god yeah I forgot that was there................ Him: Why are you wearing a tampon?! Me: It's complicated!! Him: You seriously just made my boner disappear.
*hacks my facebook* "My vagina feels amazing" "Hello my name is 'Loves Happenis's cock: )"
It's never a dull moment with this dude. One time we recorded us in my backseat and when we went to get tacos he just starts watching it while we're in line. -_______-. But he's pretty dope in the sack if I do say so myself so...yeah. Lol.
Dick so good - give up your facebook password, tell all your high school jump offs to stop calling you (seriously this time), cooking sunday style dinners on wednesday just cause that's "y'all" day to chill, and let him hit right after leaving the salon! -Anonymous
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
FINALLY. I actually have some damn time to sit here and write about the telenovela drama known as Happenis and I. I've gotten so lazy when it comes to writing about him and i have no clue why. Especially since everyone likes him so much (when he isn't being an ass).
Basically what happened was our sex life hit a speed bump. He had stopped drinking, and as we all know we can only have (good) sex when he's drunk. So The night I dressed up in the school girl outfit he came over, fucked me for a little bit, then watched Gulliver's Travels (that movie is funny as fuck idgaf what ANYONE says) and he refused to fuck me again so I made him leave. The next time I saw him he fucked em in his bang bus rapist van (he has a car now!) and once again it wasn't that long. I was so confused as to what the fuck was going on. This was so unlike him! The next time I saw him it literally lasted five minutes and I was PISSED. Halfway thru I noticed he was slowing down which meant he was about to cum but he wasn't ready. I stopped moving and told him "Nope. Not again." and he said it'll be more than once calm down. As soon as he said that he busted and reneged on his deal. "Well maybe it will just be once". You asshole! I was snatching my clothes and condoms off the floor and he was asking me why I was so mad and I should be happy I got something. Now, I was slightly intoxicated and I said some not so nice things to him like
"That was bullshit. you could've kept that!" "The drive over here was longer than the actual sex" "Idk what's going on with you but if it's gonna continue to be like this I don't wanna do this anymore."
Well, he didn't like that last part so he hit me with "Well I'm moving away anyways so tonight was the last time. I'm doing me. No drinking. No parties. Goodnight." and I was like well fuck you too then! I assumed we were officially over but I knew better than that! About three weeks later he hit me up asking if I was awake and "yes I'm intoxicated" But damnit I was at work! I swear he has the best fucking timing ever. The week after I decided to take a day off to see him. I was kinda super drunk that night so everything is a bit fuzzy. I remember going to his house and us having sex briefly, and then he said something about my boobs to which I answered "Oh whatever don't act like you don't like them", He wouldn't say yes so I literally followed him down the street to his friend's house like a crazy person with my dress half on and he was telling his friend to tell me I had nice boobs so I'd go home. I think I punched him and bit him on the man titty. Smh. And his friend told me "Nice african dress". It was a blue, pink & white dress with cheetah print -__________-. I left, came back with a burrito and we had sex again. I was only semi satisfied with his performance, but def an upgrade from the last few times.
CUT TO this past Friday. He hit me up last week while I was at work AGAIN (like he doesn't know my work schedule by n ow) and even tho I had just taken a friday off two weeks prior, I decided I needed another "vacation" day. Once again I got drunk, got tacos and picked him up. He had his friend with him so we went and kicked it with some of my other friends where everyone was drinking and smoking. And I kept encouraging him to keep drinking beer and taking shots lol. Around 4 we dropped his friend off then went to his house. I go into his room while he grabs another beer from the fridge and I start getting undressed. He took the last few magnums I had left out the car and brought them inside. I could see his boner thru his pants and it just made me oh so happy. I swear he has the nicest dick I've ever seen. He puts on some music, turns the lights down and pushes me down on the bed. Face down, ass up. He gets behind me, he's got a beer in one hand and my ass in the other and he starts going slow and I'm trying to figure out which way the night was gonna go. He puts the beer down and then digs his nails into my hips and I'm like ohhhh yeahhh. THIS is the shit that got me hooked. Going so deep it sounds like you've got your own "applause" light that's that shit I DO like. He pushes me down again so I'm laying flat on my stomach while it seems like he's putting all his weight on the small of my back so I can't move. He still hasn't skipped a beat so I'm in la la land. I know I was being loud as fuck but I really didn't care. Ol' rude ass lol I seriously hope it isn't loud enough for everyone on the other side of the house to hear. He would go between pushing me down and then snatching me back up by a fistful of my hair. He'd pull me up so far that he'd choke me with his other hand which is all I ever want in life anyways. He pushed me back down put this time put my legs together and had his legs outside of mine and started drinking his beer again. He started off slow, then started hitting me with those hard deep strokes and he slipped out.
And missed again. Shit Happens all over again.
But this time I wasn't gonna let that stop me. He laid on his back and I started riding him reverse cowgirl. First on my feet with my back straight. I know he's enjoying the view because he just keeps calling my name with a couple "oh fucks" thrown in there and some ass slappings in between. Then I got on my knees and elbows and rode him slow so he could see it going in and out and I think he liked that better cause every time I'd get tired and would try to get back on my feet he'd push me hella hard back on my elbows lol. After a while he got tired of watching me work so he sat up and spread my legs to east jesus nowhere and took over. I love being fucked rather than doing the fucking cause he hits my g spot better. So while he's getting all wild and crazy I can hear myself getting louder so I bury my face in the mattress and boom I feel him push me away and when I turned around he goes "Oh hey, there's blood". I decided NOT to swallow this time and he walks out the room to go clean up. When he stabbed me with his dick earlier that night I bled a bit. He comes back in eating chips and guac just staring at me with a huge ass boner and I can't take my eyes off it. And even tho the HBIC is throbbing I put my clothes back on.
I get ready to leave and he starts slapping me on the ass and I'm like can I help you sir? He finishes his chips and pulls his dick back out and I'm like round two? I'm not complaining. Get back down on my hands and knees and he grabs his beer and takes a swig. Halfway in I felt him spit before he went all the way in, and normally this irks me but tonight it turned me on a lil bit not even gonna lie. I didn't even bother to take my shirt off so instead of pulling my hair he pulls my shirt and bra instead. I'm trying my hardest to make sure I don't run from him but I guess I wasn't trying hard enough because he shoved my face into the mattress and grabbed my arm behind my back so I couldn't move. And I loved every second of it.
We finished up again and he comes back in with more chips and guac. I get dressed then ask him, where the rest of my condoms were. Last time we wasted three because he kept taking them off, same with tonight. Before I could grab it he grabs it and is like "No, what do you need this for? Who are you gonna have sex with?" So I snatch it back and ask "Who are YOU gonna have sex with?!" and he tells me we should just get rid of it now. I was confused because I was thinking why are we gonna waste a condom? Then he slaps me on the ass a few times and when I turn around he lifts up my shirt and starts rubbing my boobs. I'm like ooooooh okay I gotcha. I open it and hand it to him and put my hands on the wall like I'm under arrest and wait for him to get situated. I take my bra and shirt back off and he slides my pants off and tells me to lay down. I get on my back and he puts my shoulders on his legs and leans ALL the way down. I have to grab my ankles to keep my legs from shaking. It barely works tho, seeing as to my knees were in my damn ears. This is like the best and worst position ever. It's amazing cause it allows for deeper penetration, but at the same time I can't move and when he goes too deep I get a dull ache in my stomach or uterus or whatever the fuck starts hurting, and my legs start shaking like crazy. He is literally throwing his whole body weight into these thrusts and I think my head is about to explode. I can't do shit but dig my nails into his back. He sits up keeping my legs on his shoulder but picking up the pace. I'm just being loud for no reason whatsoever with the baby yes's oh my god's and fuck's and whatnot...I would had to see myself in a porn...He pulls out and flips me over on my stomach and literally KILLS my vag. And the great thing was we came at the same time;) I can't recall if that's ever happened before but tonight it was amazing. And I guess I didn't notice him pull the condom off earlier again cause he came on my ass, threw a sheet on me and wiped me down, then slapped my ass and said "You're welcome". I was still on saturn somewhere. I had no control of my legs whatsoever, they refused to move when I tried getting dressed again, so I just lied there, trying to catch my breath. This fool comes back into the room with a big ass bowl of guac and chips and is just munching away. He sat down next to me and his dick was still pretty hard so I grabbed it just to measure with my fingers how girthy it was. I can make a ring with my index finger and thumb nails touching.
And I wear acrylics.
And I need a fill.
I'll let you use your imagination for that one.
Finally I have some strength in my legs and I get dressed, and he keeps football slapping me on the ass and I get in my car thin king I'm about to drive to LA. Silly girl you can't even push the pedals down because not only are your legs weak but your cooch hurts and everything is too sore to move! So I really just sat in my car in front of his house for half an hour before I hit the road. And when I got to work that night the girls told me I didn't miss anything cause everyone did shitty. Which made my night THAT much better.
And there you have it. There is your Happenis update.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
Yes!!!!!!!!!! After 6 long ass months of terrible sex............ HAPPENIS HAS RETURNED.
Look at God! But it wasn't all rainbows and sausages. No it wouldn't be right unless he threw a monkey wrench in my plans. So of course he hits me up when I'm at work 5 million miles away. And I swore to myself as soon as I came back home I was gonna take 6 months of frustration out on him. I think I ended up seeing him on a Tuesday night...I got to his house around 2:47ish, magnums in hand wearing the biggest smile ever. We walk to his room and he tells me "You're like a kid in a candy shop right now huh?" I was like how about you just stop talking and give me what I came here for. We get naked and I laid on my back ready for it. He puts the condom on and we literally have sex for like two minutes before he pulls out and tells me the MAGNUM condom I brought him was "too tight"...ol' girthy ass bastard. So I had to run out to the car - naked, mind you - grab some more and navigate his suuuper packed dark ass garage. I walked back into his room and he's just standing there in all his naked glory, dick pointing north like a compass. I couldn't help but smile again. This time I turned around so he could hit from he back and he's just slapping his dick on my ass laughing and he asked me if I was gonna blog about this. I asked him why he was even reading my blog since we haven't fucked in about 6 months.
"You know what I don't even wanna talk about this anymore it's making my dick soft."
Uh huh...but you brought it up. LOL anyways, he was kinda fumbling to get the condom on, and n the meantime I was like what should I do? I feel when it takes a guy too long to get the condom on it's kinda awkward. Like do I just lay there? Do I grab his balls? Do I roll onto my stomach and not make eye contact? WTF am I supposed to do?! He finally gets it on, slides in, and next thing I know, it's OVER. He said "You're already about to make me cum" and I pushed him away screaming "NO!!!!! STOP MOVING!!" but by the time I pushed him away it was too late. That NEVER happens!!! I couldn't do anything but punch him in the chest and get dressed. I told you guys his alcohol = his viagra. And if that means we can only have sex when he's drunk I'm absolutely fine with that. Cause that shit right there? Nah....I got back into my car at 3:04.
I took it upon myself to redo that night and act like that shit never happened. I planned on taking the following WEEKEND off from work to get thoroughly fucked. House to myself it was perfect.
FRIDAY NIGHT/SATURDAY MORNING
We usually have this booty call window between like 1-4 am when we can get it in, usually later when he's ending his night. I spent damn near 100 bucks on lingerie (corset, fishnets, the whole 9) my hair and makeup was done, everything. I was just sitting, waiting, in my full outfit for nothing basically. By 3:30 I was pissed because it was getting late, I basically wasted a night of makeup. I was starting to feel unappreciated and like clockwork he hit me up at 3:57. Drove over to where he was and instead of getting into the front seat he gets into the back. I'm like WTF?! Do you not see what I'm wearing?! You can't take in my sexiness in my backseat!!! So I got back there and tried to act fake mad when he shoved me between the front seats. I wasn't moaning or anything. Idk if he noticed or not, but he grabbed me and put me on my back. After he got on top it was like like bitch who are you fooling...just take the dick and enjoy it. So I did. I had to take off the corset tho...hurt too much to have sex in it in the car especially. While he was hitting from the back my phone went off and he was like "Oh you called other guys tonight before you called me huh? You tryna see other guys? Go ahead answer it. Pick that shit up" and I was just like "its not importaaaaaaaaaant. It's not important OH GOD" The entire time he's hitting me with those deep ass death strokes. I swear we come up with the weirdest positions in the backseat.
-both his feet on either head rest, me standing out the sunroof
-shoved between the front seats with my feet on the back seats while he stands straight up out the sunroof
-car door open with me on my side one hand on the ground while he's on top
-feet on the seat, hands around his neck while he takes over
-back on the front seat, legs on either side of him, holding on to the sun roof for leverage
He sat down and I rode him reverse cowgirl while I stuck out the sunroof. Every time I slowed down he'd yell at me like "Oh is that all you got? *slap* no you stick it in if you want it *slap, slap* Don't slow down you keep going" Yeah, yeah, keep it up. Me likey. We ended up out the car in this strange ass neighborhood with dogs walking around and shit, cars driving by, sun coming up...on my hands and knees he pushed my back down and grabbed my arms behind me like reigns. My face was damn near in the gutter but I didn't care because THAT'S what I had been waiting for for the last 6 months. He was asking me how much did I miss his dick (a lot) and how long I waited for him (Forfuckingever). It was what I wanted: choking, hair pulling, ass slapping, deep strokes...He pulled out and came on my ass, slapped my ass and said "You're welcome". Smug ass lol. I went to the trunk to get my towel so he could wipe me down, then I noticed sometime during the course of our fucking he threw my glasses out the window! And he claims he doesn't even remember doing it. But that didn't matter because it was time for tacos. On the way he acknowledged he likes to drunkenly confess his love for me, so at least I know he might mean it a little, but to take it with a grain of salt.
Anyways we were talking about work and he tells me
"Look. I have a hundred dollar bill in my room. I'm gonna go to the bank and cash it for singles. Then the next time we fuck while I'm fucking you doggy style I'm gonna be slapping your ass and I'm gonna make it rain on your back saying 'Alright alright alright you gon learn today'. And we're gonna get it all on camera"
Sounds amazing right? I had to call him out on his bullshit tho. We just went back and forth with our "uh huhs" & "nu uhs" and he decided to make it a bet. If he actually did it we'd have a threesome. If he didn't, well I still got my dick so who cares. So this was all supposed to take place that night. Dropped him off, and drove home. By now, the sun was up, and the yard sale crowd was up. And or course the night that I don't wear pants my neighbors just HAD to have a damn yardsale. I don't even think I had shoes on. I snatched my silky robe and wrapped it around my waist and prayed my parents were still sleep because how the fuck would I explain why I look like a freshly fucked burlesque dancer? Fortunately I slipped in unnoticed and knocked the fuck out.
SATURDAY NIGHT/SUNDAY MORNING
Now the chick in question basically looks like the hotter version of me and she happens to be my friend so I felt some type of way about having a threesome with her. But I felt like he wouldn't hold up his part of the agreement anyways. Once again 3:30ish am comes around and he's like "its time". I picked him up from the taco shop and we ended up going back to his house because my parents never left. He turned off the lights and he actually put on music without me having to ask him! He got naked, laid on the bed and I sat on top of him. He licked my nipples and he was asking me why I got my boobs so big. I was like what, you don't like them? He's like nope they're fine...kept on squeezing and licking. He slowly slid in and placed my hands on the wall. The faster he went the less leverage I had so I put my hands back on his chest. "No you put your fucking hands back on the wall" Whatever you say sir. At one point my head was hanging off the edge of the bed and I had one leg around his waist and the other on his shoulder and he was asking me if I was gonna tell my friends about this. Yes, but not how you want me to. LOL. Then he flipped me over like a krabby patty and placed his hands on the small of my back so that the only time I could breathe was when he thrusted. Made me sounds like a damn gorilla *GRUNT, GRUNT, GRUNT, FUUUUUUCK, GRUNT* Everything was kind of a pleasurable blur. Next thing I knew he pushed me away, said "gimme that face* and I sucked him while he finished. Pretty sure I had more ON my face than in my mouth, but whatever. I wiped some off with my hands and was like LOOK!!! Then I licked it off and he laid on the bed. So I climbed back on top and we sat there listening to music, he was looking thru my phone at my pictures, asking me who would be calling me at 5 in the morning (from the night before). Then every time I tried to answer he'd slap me on the ass. Finally I just pinned him down cause it was starting to hurt lol. Then we passed out.
JUST TO BE AWAKEN by his punk ass friend (the one we had the "threesome" with) and some bitch like 2 1/2 hours later. And he wonders why I don't like him. What a terrible fucking way to end such a perfect night. Like I know they saw me laying there. When you see your friend has company you fucking say sorry and remove yourself from the room. Not these rude ass bitches. Needless to say I was NOT happy. The girl's excuse was that they called before they came. But his phone was dead so he didn't answer. Him not answering does not give you the fucking right to barge into his room!!! I went back home, said good morning to my mother, walked by a mirror, saw dried cum on my chin. FAIL.
But I must say, for taking off the entire weekend, it was def fucking worth it.
Next up: The return of Puss In Boots.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the idustryyy
I think god has a sense of humor. Blue Magic had me stressed out all week with his nonsense just to find out he was just "testing me"...whatever the fuck that means. All I know is he better not do that shit again. We went out and partied, which was fun. At the party there was this chick that he kept mentioning we should have a threesome with. Took me a minute to figure out who he was taking about and when I did...she was cute. But enough to make me wanna fuck her? Naaah. Psh I don't want my first girl on girl experience to be during a threesome, especially with him there. He kept trying to get nw to talk to this chick and his drunk ass wasn't understanding that I can't just talk up to some random chick and start talking to her. Because we don't have shit to talk about. So he took it upon himself to talk to the chick himself. I'm watching the whole thing go down, just embarrassed as shit. I don't know what he told her exactly, but I felt like a creep.
Someone spilled a beer on the table and I noticed his phone got wet. So I went to give it to him and as I walked up the girl says "oh yeah, you're hot" and said something like I have nice big lips that he would enjoy. Um, thanks...and then it got awkward. So I walked away. He chatted with her some more and came back over to me talking about I choked and why am I bailing and blah blah blah...look my thing is this: if were gonna do this, then I'M picking the third party.
So we enjoy the rest of party and we head out. This party was downtown and I was parked on a main street and he kept telling me to get in the backseat. Were back there, and ok scared half the time because people keep walking by and cars arte going by, but he's like relaaaaax you're fiiiiine. I tried to push the possibility of getting arrested out of my head and just enjoy myself. And for the most part I did.
Until it happened.
He was sitting and I was on top squatting over him and I was telling him I didn't like that position cause he kept slipping out. But he ignored me and asked me if I was ready for him to kill. I said yeah and he started pounding away.
And he slipped out...
And that one powerful thrust...
I felt like I had been stabbed in the cooch.
Me: game over. I'm done. OUCH I need a napkin.
Him: what's wrong you bleeding?
*reaches down and catches clit jewelry*
Me: what the fuck??? You ripped my shit out!!!
The tip of his dick snagged onto my vertical clitoral hood piercing and ripped it clear the fuck off. (i ask CRINGING as I relive this moment in my head).
Why am I being punished for?! I can't help that I like my sex rough but god damn!
I just...ugh...
We go out for tacos (and the little mexican bitches weren't staring at me this time) and the advice nurse tells me to go back to the ER.
We head to the hospital and while he's sleeping in the car. I go in and get seen in about 30 minutes...just for those bitches to tell me to soak in a hot bath. I'm paying you a 50 dollar copay just for you skeezers to tell me to take a damn bath?! Why couldn't the advice nurse tell me this and save me a trip and 50 bucks??
Now I'm one piercing less (that they advised me NOT to get redone) and I'm sad. I'm mad that his dick is once again A-OK. I'm also mad that he woke me up this morning STILL talking about that girl. I understand we aren't together and you go do what you do boo boo but don't tell me about it! I don't give a shit, nor do I care to know that you think she's a dime. If it don't have to do with me I don't wanna hear the shit. I don't wanna have a threesome with her but if you wanna fuck her then by all means *be my fucking guest* just keep that shit to yourself.
Now I'm pissed the fuck off.
Fuck the god damn shit. I'm tired of this motherfucking shit.
Miss Sixxxty, you very own freak of the industryy
Okay babes an gents so as you guys are aware, I'm still sleeping with Blue Magic. And I'm very content:)
But anywhore *Brian Bee voice* let me tell you about this past saturday
I took my friend to go get her vertical clit hood piercing, which will have me laughing for days.
She was freaked out the whole time, so much so that I had to hold her down.
But she did it and now she's happy with it, just like me:)
The piercer was telling her no sex for a week and she looked at me an said "Well shit you an Blue Magic didn't wait why the hell I got to??" And I politely told her I hadn't had sex for six months previous to that and there was no way I was gonna turn him down! Then she asked me if I was gonna see him later that night, and I remember telling her no one was gonna wait by the phone for him all night. I said "Watch; I'm gonna go home, get in the bed, get it nice an warm, and be half asleep when he hits me up."
Like clockwork, I get a text while I was sleeping in the bed.
And being the slave to peen that I am, I went to go see him.
Swooped him up and took him back to my aunt's house.
I finally found somewhere to fuck this man. Back seat action is nice, but I prefer a bed.
We get there, and he goes an waits in the room. I'm searching the house for an adapter to the radio so I can listen to my phone. Can't find one. I wanted music to be playing because someone else was there as well and I feel weird having people listening to me have sex. I go back in the room and I see he turned the tv off.
M: why did you turn the tv off?
BM: you ant it on? are you gonna watch tv or something?
M: no...I just want it on...
BM: you're being overly cautious...
I turn the tv on anyways and was frantically trying to find the music channels. I haven't had Comcast in years, so I forgot where they were and in my urgency I just put it on an informercial and turned the volume up. I turn around and see he's under the covers and I'm like get out. My aunt keeps that house hotter than hell, there's no reason to be under there. I pull the covers off and you already know he drill: hop on :)
I slowly start riding him, and he tells me to go to the top. I slide almost completely off and slide back on. Now, this does nothing for me, but I love that he loves it. He flips me over and takes off his shirt. This is how I know shit is about to get serious;) I wrap my legs around his waist and he starts pounding away. He starts off fast and then hits me with a few slow hard thrusts like he wants me to feel it hit the tip of my lungs.
BM: you like that?
M: ohmygawdyesssss
Oooh, how I wish he knew how much I loved it. Better than any drug. He leans back so that we look like a V and I start rolling my hips into him. Tells me to go slow, so he can see what I'm doing. I wonder if he noticed I got new clit jewelry. Hmmm...Switch into doggy and he starts killin. I'm trying my best to be quiet cause I don't wanna make the girl in the other room feel uncomfortable, but I tapped out. Couldn't hold it in anymore. Then he started smackin' my ass...and we all know how much I enjoy that. For some weird reason, when I got on top and started riding him, the bed started moving funny! It was hitting the wall and making hella noise, but I don't remember it doing that when he was on top! Oh well, I figured when the girl heard the bodies slapping she already knew what was going on, no sense in holding back now.
He got back on top, this time with my legs on his shoulders. He makes my legs shake when he does that...So hes on top, pressing my legs against his chest and I slooooowly slide off the bed. I have to stick my hand out on the ground to prevent us both from eating shit and potentially winding up in the E.R. with a sex related injury. Finally I get mine and get the warm sex flush over my body...then he gets his. And makes a mess on me. I tried to take him in my mouth but he stopped me. I get up and go to the bathroom to get some tissue to clean up and he's like, where are you going?
M: To clean up the mess you made. I'm messy.
BM: you really need to stop peeing on yourself.
M: shut. up.
I grab my tissue and head back to the bedroom, and I see he's dressed and sprawled across the bed. I walk over and straddle him, and I can feel he's not completely soft just yet. Wiggle my ass a lil' bit, and I get the reaction I'm looking for. He slaps my ass and tells me to go to sleep. Yeah yeah I'll go to sleep right after you put me to bed lol. I was about to give him head and he stopped me and says his dick is too sore. The one time I really REALLY wanna give you head and you stop me. UGHHHHH. As weird as it sounds I just wish he'd let me suck his dick. That is like the one thing that I can do for you without any help from you. That's my ego boost right there. Me giving you some Grade A head. But I guess I should be glad that he's not one of those dudes who forces my head down there and tries to choke me on their peen...He tells me to get on the ground, I get on all fours. He pushes my dress up and slides my panties down. He sticks a finger in an says "yeah you know that's what you want". He squats and I hop on top and dangle my legs on the outside of his and let him kill. He kept spreading my legs farther apart and it kinda hurt, so I leaned forward and started bouncing my ass on his dick. This time I didn't have to go slow. He took over and pushed me on my back. Legs back on his shoulder he stops and says he can't do it because I keep running. Normally I'd be mad but at the same time my aunt texted me and let me know she was outside.
While he's in the bathroom my aunt and her friend are laughing at me cause they know what just went on. She walks into her room and comments on how warm it is in there. He comes out the bathroom, introduces himself, and starts fucking with everyone. Meanwhile I'm searching for my car key. I walk by him and he says me and my aunt's friend's asses are about the same size, and how he thinks she looks good. I just stare at him and he asks me why I'm mad. I tell him I'm not mad. Then he asks if I'm his girlfriend. I answer no and he says so what's the problem. I coulda choked his ass right then an there lol.
Cut to 30 minutes later, STILL can't find my key, and I'm pissed. my aunt's friend leaves and then I discover that he had my key the whole time. I could have killed him. I went searching through the grass at 4 in the morning when it was below zero and he had my key the whole time!!! I think he had my key just so he could talk to my aunt's friend >_< We get in the car and go grab some tacos, where he asks me for a threesome with the friend. Niiiiiice try. We're driving down the street and he's looking at the blog I did on Mallory Rae. And he zooms in on a picture of a dick in her vag. Then says that looks like his dick an my vag. Kinda but not really, cause he says my vag is black, or purple because I'm black. Well look here SIR you've never looked at it that hard and I looked at it w/ a mirror it is most DEF not black or purple lol its dark pink if anything. So HAH.
While we're in the taco shop he's just telling me what he wants to do with his life, why he thinks he's single, how he feels about school and the military. It was actually a pretty good convo. He's really smart. Then he asked me to tell him something about myself because "Aside from fucking you I don't know anything about you". Then he explains to me how to make money using the internet...And oh, would you look at the time it was 6:14! so we head to his house, and when we arrive we just chill in front of his house for a minute, and he tells me
"I don't want you to think I'm saying this just because you write about me or because I'm coming down from being drunk, but your blog is really good, you're good at writing and telling a story."
Made me feel good, and slightly embarrassed that he reads my blog, But w/e lol.
I drop him off and make it home around 7, curl up in the bed and check fb once before I head to sleep. I have hella notifications on the last status I posted.
"My vagina feels amazing"
He hacked my fb when he was using my phone and posted this.
Not only does he like to fuck me, he likes fucking with me.
Ugh I hate him(:
I wonder what this weekend has in store for me...
GAME'S ON
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com. I just wish he'd let me suck his dick one good time...smh..
Miss Sixxxty, your very own of the industryy
OOOOOOOH YEAH!!!! Go check out this blog an lemme know what you think about it @ AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com http://how-to-know-if-a-girl-likes-you.tumblr.com/ I wanna hear if you think this is accurate:) show some love please
