Although the drought ended like two weeks ago and it was fantastic, I feel like I'm back at square one. The Goblin (he really needs a new nickname...) won't put out, the blind date guy won't put out...shit I had options for like a week. What the fuck just happened?! There's always that one guy that never got a nickname, the one hour blow job dude. He ended up drunk dialing me one night, so I figured I'd go see what he was talking about.
Him: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Nothing much...
Him: Wrong answer
Me: mmm what is the right answer
Him: you finna slide through later an im finna snack.
Say no more! Hopped up out the beeeeeeeed, turned my sexy on, took a look in the mirror & said what's up. I kinda wish he lived closer to me cause going to see him is always a fucking mission. But usually how it goes is I'll either park in the driveway or across the street and we get down to business. This time he was a little drunk so as soon as I hopped in the backseat with him he pushed me back and pulled my pajama pants down. He brought me back up for a couple kisses and pushed me back down and slid my panties off (I hate the word panties but underwear sounds so juvenile ughhhhhh). His ass went to fucking TOWN. Effort is half of oral. The other half is skills. And he loves french kissing the Vee. He'd occasionally lightly bite on the inner labia and suck at the same time which sent chills up my spine (this is all starting to sound so technical). I was helpless and couldn't do shit but rub my fingers thru his hair and squirm. When he finally came up for air we switched. I gave him head like I had something to prove, only because it takes sooo long for him to bust when I'm giving him head it's frustrating. So I try harder and harder every time I see him. He pushed the hair out my face when I looked up at him and he asked me if I was "ready for this dick that I like sucking so much" lol. Yeah go'n head and give it to me. He tells me to lay back and he gets on top with my legs on his shoulders. This has got to be like the universal pose for commencement of sex or something because some way or another it always starts with my legs on someone's shoulders. God sometimes I hate car sex. In certain positions you spend more time trying to find a comfortable position than you actually do having sex! We did the legs on shoulders thing for a minute, I got on top and rode him, then wedged myself between the front seat and his legs with my head sticking out the sunroof. I rode him like that using the sunroof for leverage, praying the cops didn't drive by again. He pulled me back in the car and we tried to 69 as best we could. I always feel a little weird with my ass in a dudes face no matter how clean it is...I think at some point he even stuck his finger in my ass which made me laugh.
Anyways he was just a peach eating machine that night. I honestly think he gave more than he received that night. At one point we tried doing it from the back in the car but alas we only have a certain allotted space so he got out while I was on all fours on the seat. He clearly wasn't happy with this because he pulled me out the car and bent me over the hood. As exciting as it was I was kinda paranoid about his mom, the neighbors the cops, ect. It didn't help my nerves much when he turned me over and pushed my ass up on the hood and fucked me with my legs on his shoulders again. There was no way in hell I could play of what we were doing if someone were to catch us. But it felt so good! My main focus was trying not to slip off the car and to enjoy the shit. He pulled out and I got back in the car and he wanted me to give him head while he was standing. I did what I was told and he skull fucked the shit out my head. Usually if I deep throat I do it once and keep doing it regular but with his hand on my head he did it a good five times before I had him pull out before I threw up. He said he wanted some special oral attention to the boys once again I did what I was told. In the middle of all this he asks me where my vodka gummy bears were. Uh...in the front seat but where did that come from? He took a mouthful of gunmies and went back to giving me head. Thank god I didn't get a yeast infection from that lol never put food on the cookie. After a while he stops and I ask him what's wrong. He tells me we can either go into his room and be quiet or finish handling biz on the futon in the garage. Why weren't we in there in the first place?!
He walks across the street and I slap on a lil minty lube on my vag, put his t-shirt on and run across the street. Back in the garage it didn't take much. I thought we were gonna go back to having sex but he went down on me again and licked away whatever lube I had down there. He got back on top, then I rode reverse cowgirl. For the finale I turned on the light of my phone and let him watch as I threw my ass back into him (he said he had never...). Then as quickly as I had started bam he pulled out and before I could even react it shot out like ten feet and landed in my hair!!! I kept saying "it fees like a wet paintbrush now" because the end of my ponytail was covered in nut, as was my back and my ass. He thought it was funny and called himself a shooter. I wiped my air off the best I could and he wiped me down. He let me run back to my car with his shirt on so I didn't have to dart across the street naked and we parted ways. What an interesting Wednesday night.
The Happenis clone is being weird.
Happenis is apparently in town and is still ignoring me.
I haven't had sex since then.
This sucks.
I woudn't be surprised if I had a gummy bear stuck in my canal.
Miss Sixxxy, your very own freak of the industryy
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Crusing For Ass Via CraigsList. Lol.
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Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Play Your Cards Right...
I. Fucking. HATE. That cliche ass phrase. Who do you think you are? The only time I want to hear that shit is if Tupac and Keyshia Cole are doing a duet. But more on that in a minute. I took last weekend off and tramped the entire time...smh. Let's break it down into three parts, shall we?
FIRST SHIFT
"Back then they didn't want me. Now I'm hot they all on me" no truer words have ever been spoken Mike Jones (who?!?!). Its amazing the power a pair of tits holds. Everyone who ignored me in high school all of a sudden want to hang out. One guy in particular I had in an art class. I was a senior, he was a sophomore. A cute one at that. He was really quiet, and every time i turned around to talk to him and hi friend he'd always give me this nervous type laugh like "bitch if you don't turn your ass around and let me paint..." So it never got far. Then out of nowhere he adds me on fb. I immediately posted on his wall "YOU HATED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!" and he goes on an on about how he never hated me blah blah blah asking me how my butt and boobs got bigger. I really didn't have time for it so I was like what do you want?He wanted to hang out (of course) and I told him he never wanted to hang out in high school. "Well I was a little boy back then". Hun, you're STILL a little boy to me now. He was kinda annoying, texting me things like "Would you ever show me a picture of your butt??" or "can you strip for me?" Like couldn't sext worth a damn. So I stopped replying. My friend was in my ear about how I should give him a chance and she heard he puts it down (HAH!!!) and I just couldn't get over this pedo feeling I had. Finally we arranged to have this blind date type meet up and he was too excited.
"Are you going to hang out with so and so? If so I'm with her:)"
"Are you still coming??"
Ugh. SHUT UP!!!!! When I got there he came outside and gave me a hug, then didn't say shit else to me the entire night. Huh? He let this guy who kinda looks and acts EXACTLY like Happenis. Fucking CRAZY! He made me take a shot of gin with him and this is where the night starts going downhill. More on him later tho. It was clear ol' Ninito over there wasn't going to make a move, and I had Sexsomniac on my line wanting to play BP, so I excused myself for the evening. But not before Happenis Jr. and I exchanged numbers. Highway robbery biatch! Po' lil' tink tink also known as Ninito gave me another hug before I left, for what reason, idk...and I went to see Sexsomniac.
SECOND SHIFT
I met up with Sexsomniac at the grocery store and it looked like he was walking with a fat skinhead, which would've been weird since he was Mexican...Upon further inspection it was none other than Mr. Dunlap! And another short cholo OG Mexican which I found out was his dad...who was pissy ass drunk. I wish he'd warn me when I'm about to meet people in his family>:/ His dad comes up to me telling me "Mija you're so beautiful, mijo, who's this pretty lady?" He grabbed my hand to shake it and held on it a tad bit too long. Under normal circumstances I'd be creeped the fuck out but since this was his daddy I was being nice. He starts asking what kind of music I like and if I have a boyfriend and whatnot...then offers me a beer. I don't drink beer so I decline, telling him I only drink liquor. He spots my Smirnoff bottle and asks for a shot. I always respect my elders, drunk or not. So even though I didn't want to, I gave him one anyways. We were all waiting on my brother to arrive so we could go to this party and I'm telling you he couldn't have come soon enough! Or so I thought. Even though Mr. Dunlap had PLENTY of room in his car they made the drunk daddy ride with me, who's telling me the entire ride to the house "Mija if anyone gives you shit you just tell me and I'll handle it." Sir, you're the ONLY one giving me shit.
We pull up to the house and lo an behold what do ya know it's that prick who tried molesting me in my sleep's house! I stayed for like 2.5 seconds and then dipped when they asked if I could take the drunk daddy home. HELL NO. I couldn't figure out why Sexsomniac wasn't paying me much attention until my brother told me he met ANOTHER girl with the same name and he though I was her. Welp. That explains a lot. Bitch.
THIRD SHIFT
Final destination of the night, I made it alive and sober. Think back a couple of blogs when I was talking about having sex with the guy who yelled "oh no quickieeeeee" when we were having sex? Well yeah he redeemed himself that night. Much to my pleasure.
I ended up drinking a few cocktails, then making a McDonalds run for a frozen strawberry lemonade just to add more vodka to it. Next thing I know I was holding up walls and throwing up. Apparently I fell a couple times, spilled my drink during King's Cup & some more shit...smh. As the night went on the drunker I got and me and lets call him......Goblin for now because he likes Odd Future. Well anyways we go to his room and the whole way there he keeps slapping me on the ass asking where did all my ass come from (apparently my ass got bigger and people are taking note). I don't remember what the fuck I was talking about, except after he shut the door and put music on I remember him telling me "Okay how about you shut up and make out with me". I just do as I'm told lol. He pushed me on the bed and got on top for a little bit, and I don't remember if I took my top off first or if he took my shorts off first all I remember is we were naked. He reached into the nightstand and shit went ALL THE WAY the fuck down. On my back I propped my legs on his shoulders for leverage and away he went. Everything is kinda a blur honestly. He wasn't much of a talker, except when he told me it was my turn to be on top lol. Cowgirl, to reverse cowgirl, to back on my back. Then he did something no one had ever done to me before. He bitch slapped me across the fucking face! Like 3 times. And weirdly enough...I kinda liked it. It caught me so off guard, and he was so in the moment...Intense shit right there. He rolled me on my stomach and it was over. I can't remember who was in the house or if anyone else heard me but I don't think me smothering my face with a pillow helped much. It felt THAT fucking amazing. Like Happenis status I can't remember a time when I got close to seeing stars like that. He had his nails dug into my hips pretty deep while he was handling business and all of a sudden he pushed me across the bed! Guess someone was finished! Glad he pulled out cause with all that vigorous stroking the condom broke. Thank God for depo and negative test results! He just kept saying "I pulled out....I pulled out" over and over again...turned me around, said "that was intense" and kissed me before going to get a towel out of the closet. I was in a lust stricken daze. Once I came to I wiped myself off, then started to wipe the sheets and he was like "No!! You blot the cum you never rub it!!!" Well hey, learn something new every day...Went to sleep and woke up with the worst alcohol poisoning ever. I threw up like 3 more times, and since I had thrown up my fries the night before, I had nothing left but stomach acid to throw up. It was terrible. I couldn't even keep water down.
"Who's in the bathroom is Ricky taking a dump?"
"No that drunk girl is in there...throwing up...again..."
After a while we got up, he made me some soup, and then I promised I'd buy him another bottle of mouthwash and then left. Now I wanted to bang him again a few hours later after I recovered, but he seemed a lil distant. Nothing weird there. Then Sunday night I debated on texting him for a round two. We all know how I get about asking for dick. I hate rejection with a passion whether I'm asking you to lunch or for some dick. Curly Fries tells me to just do it cause all guys love when girls beg for the peen. I decided to do it. I just told him I'd be up for a round two and you know what he told me?
"Yeah the other night was great. Maybe if you play your cards right you can have a round two..."
JIGGA WHAT?! JIGGA WHO?! Wait wait wait what the fuck just happened there?! TF does that even mean?! Sorry but when it comes to me asking for sex "Maybe" and "play your cards right" are two things I don't wanna fucking hear!!! That ultimately just pissed me off so I didn't even text back. Bullfuckingshit I tell you...Swear to god good reliable dick is such a hard thing to come by these days. I just wanna fuck you all day you idiot. And I mean that in the nicest way possible if you're reading this. I think we can all make time in our day to have sex at least once. But I damn digress. Shit. Of course any wonderful drought ending such as this always has to have a sucky ass ending. Fuck. Shit. Balls. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel that was an easy let down like "yeah bitch, I killed your shit. Don't be expecting a damn thing from me". But he's such a sweet guy when I'm around him what the fuck is going on?!
Mental note to self: Don't ask guys for sex. Ever. They don't like that shit.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
FIRST SHIFT
"Back then they didn't want me. Now I'm hot they all on me" no truer words have ever been spoken Mike Jones (who?!?!). Its amazing the power a pair of tits holds. Everyone who ignored me in high school all of a sudden want to hang out. One guy in particular I had in an art class. I was a senior, he was a sophomore. A cute one at that. He was really quiet, and every time i turned around to talk to him and hi friend he'd always give me this nervous type laugh like "bitch if you don't turn your ass around and let me paint..." So it never got far. Then out of nowhere he adds me on fb. I immediately posted on his wall "YOU HATED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!" and he goes on an on about how he never hated me blah blah blah asking me how my butt and boobs got bigger. I really didn't have time for it so I was like what do you want?He wanted to hang out (of course) and I told him he never wanted to hang out in high school. "Well I was a little boy back then". Hun, you're STILL a little boy to me now. He was kinda annoying, texting me things like "Would you ever show me a picture of your butt??" or "can you strip for me?" Like couldn't sext worth a damn. So I stopped replying. My friend was in my ear about how I should give him a chance and she heard he puts it down (HAH!!!) and I just couldn't get over this pedo feeling I had. Finally we arranged to have this blind date type meet up and he was too excited.
"Are you going to hang out with so and so? If so I'm with her:)"
"Are you still coming??"
Ugh. SHUT UP!!!!! When I got there he came outside and gave me a hug, then didn't say shit else to me the entire night. Huh? He let this guy who kinda looks and acts EXACTLY like Happenis. Fucking CRAZY! He made me take a shot of gin with him and this is where the night starts going downhill. More on him later tho. It was clear ol' Ninito over there wasn't going to make a move, and I had Sexsomniac on my line wanting to play BP, so I excused myself for the evening. But not before Happenis Jr. and I exchanged numbers. Highway robbery biatch! Po' lil' tink tink also known as Ninito gave me another hug before I left, for what reason, idk...and I went to see Sexsomniac.
SECOND SHIFT
I met up with Sexsomniac at the grocery store and it looked like he was walking with a fat skinhead, which would've been weird since he was Mexican...Upon further inspection it was none other than Mr. Dunlap! And another short cholo OG Mexican which I found out was his dad...who was pissy ass drunk. I wish he'd warn me when I'm about to meet people in his family>:/ His dad comes up to me telling me "Mija you're so beautiful, mijo, who's this pretty lady?" He grabbed my hand to shake it and held on it a tad bit too long. Under normal circumstances I'd be creeped the fuck out but since this was his daddy I was being nice. He starts asking what kind of music I like and if I have a boyfriend and whatnot...then offers me a beer. I don't drink beer so I decline, telling him I only drink liquor. He spots my Smirnoff bottle and asks for a shot. I always respect my elders, drunk or not. So even though I didn't want to, I gave him one anyways. We were all waiting on my brother to arrive so we could go to this party and I'm telling you he couldn't have come soon enough! Or so I thought. Even though Mr. Dunlap had PLENTY of room in his car they made the drunk daddy ride with me, who's telling me the entire ride to the house "Mija if anyone gives you shit you just tell me and I'll handle it." Sir, you're the ONLY one giving me shit.
We pull up to the house and lo an behold what do ya know it's that prick who tried molesting me in my sleep's house! I stayed for like 2.5 seconds and then dipped when they asked if I could take the drunk daddy home. HELL NO. I couldn't figure out why Sexsomniac wasn't paying me much attention until my brother told me he met ANOTHER girl with the same name and he though I was her. Welp. That explains a lot. Bitch.
THIRD SHIFT
Final destination of the night, I made it alive and sober. Think back a couple of blogs when I was talking about having sex with the guy who yelled "oh no quickieeeeee" when we were having sex? Well yeah he redeemed himself that night. Much to my pleasure.
I ended up drinking a few cocktails, then making a McDonalds run for a frozen strawberry lemonade just to add more vodka to it. Next thing I know I was holding up walls and throwing up. Apparently I fell a couple times, spilled my drink during King's Cup & some more shit...smh. As the night went on the drunker I got and me and lets call him......Goblin for now because he likes Odd Future. Well anyways we go to his room and the whole way there he keeps slapping me on the ass asking where did all my ass come from (apparently my ass got bigger and people are taking note). I don't remember what the fuck I was talking about, except after he shut the door and put music on I remember him telling me "Okay how about you shut up and make out with me". I just do as I'm told lol. He pushed me on the bed and got on top for a little bit, and I don't remember if I took my top off first or if he took my shorts off first all I remember is we were naked. He reached into the nightstand and shit went ALL THE WAY the fuck down. On my back I propped my legs on his shoulders for leverage and away he went. Everything is kinda a blur honestly. He wasn't much of a talker, except when he told me it was my turn to be on top lol. Cowgirl, to reverse cowgirl, to back on my back. Then he did something no one had ever done to me before. He bitch slapped me across the fucking face! Like 3 times. And weirdly enough...I kinda liked it. It caught me so off guard, and he was so in the moment...Intense shit right there. He rolled me on my stomach and it was over. I can't remember who was in the house or if anyone else heard me but I don't think me smothering my face with a pillow helped much. It felt THAT fucking amazing. Like Happenis status I can't remember a time when I got close to seeing stars like that. He had his nails dug into my hips pretty deep while he was handling business and all of a sudden he pushed me across the bed! Guess someone was finished! Glad he pulled out cause with all that vigorous stroking the condom broke. Thank God for depo and negative test results! He just kept saying "I pulled out....I pulled out" over and over again...turned me around, said "that was intense" and kissed me before going to get a towel out of the closet. I was in a lust stricken daze. Once I came to I wiped myself off, then started to wipe the sheets and he was like "No!! You blot the cum you never rub it!!!" Well hey, learn something new every day...Went to sleep and woke up with the worst alcohol poisoning ever. I threw up like 3 more times, and since I had thrown up my fries the night before, I had nothing left but stomach acid to throw up. It was terrible. I couldn't even keep water down.
"Who's in the bathroom is Ricky taking a dump?"
"No that drunk girl is in there...throwing up...again..."
After a while we got up, he made me some soup, and then I promised I'd buy him another bottle of mouthwash and then left. Now I wanted to bang him again a few hours later after I recovered, but he seemed a lil distant. Nothing weird there. Then Sunday night I debated on texting him for a round two. We all know how I get about asking for dick. I hate rejection with a passion whether I'm asking you to lunch or for some dick. Curly Fries tells me to just do it cause all guys love when girls beg for the peen. I decided to do it. I just told him I'd be up for a round two and you know what he told me?
"Yeah the other night was great. Maybe if you play your cards right you can have a round two..."
JIGGA WHAT?! JIGGA WHO?! Wait wait wait what the fuck just happened there?! TF does that even mean?! Sorry but when it comes to me asking for sex "Maybe" and "play your cards right" are two things I don't wanna fucking hear!!! That ultimately just pissed me off so I didn't even text back. Bullfuckingshit I tell you...Swear to god good reliable dick is such a hard thing to come by these days. I just wanna fuck you all day you idiot. And I mean that in the nicest way possible if you're reading this. I think we can all make time in our day to have sex at least once. But I damn digress. Shit. Of course any wonderful drought ending such as this always has to have a sucky ass ending. Fuck. Shit. Balls. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel that was an easy let down like "yeah bitch, I killed your shit. Don't be expecting a damn thing from me". But he's such a sweet guy when I'm around him what the fuck is going on?!
Mental note to self: Don't ask guys for sex. Ever. They don't like that shit.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Thursday, May 10, 2012
PORN.
I haven't been getting my stupid semi-weekly dose of dick and it's really starting to show. I haven't had great full body spasm sex since January. .I got close in March, but that was ruined. And I haven't had sex for over a month now. I am seriously going fucking bananas over here. I don't think the shit is fair. Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to go out during the week and meet people. That's my main problem I have no new work. And I can't go meet new work if I don't go out, right? But really the only time people wanna do shit is on the weekends when I'm shaking my ass for dollas. (Sorry if there are funky ass lookin words. Blogging from the netbook and sometimes this bitch decides not to put the letters even when I press them and right this second I'm too lazy to go back and proof read). I've only found one cute classmate, and even then he's kind of a nerd and slowly losing his sex appeal the longer we go without hooking up. I might give him a shot when the semester is over...fingers fucking crossed that it's more than halfway decent but less than amazeballs cause he's leaving a month after school ends and it would suck if the sex was great and he just up and left...
Anyways all the Einsteins out there seem to think masturbation is my cure all end all. Let me just say I'm about thisclose to going fucking blind from all these sucky ass elf induced orgasms. I don't need to JUST have an orgasm I need to go HAM on a dick, I need my back blown the fuck out and slapped around a bit and all that good shit. If someone ever saw me tryna do that shit to myself I'd probably be admitted into the nut house. Anyways I've been watching a fuck ton of porn lately and recently decided to switch it up from Girl Girl porn back to Boy Girl porn. The first porn I watched was BG and it was cool for a minute but aside from the money shots they got kinda boring. Then I started noticing things people watching porn trying to get off shouldn't notice. That's how I knew it was time to switch it up.
BOY GIRL PORN
Okay so my main question is where are all the attractive male porn stars? Doing gay porn:( Sucks in porn that as a guy you really don't need anything but a big dick and some stamina. I hate staring at ugly guys when I'm tryna get off. How the fuck am I supposed to get off on that shit when I can't get past that ugly ass mug?? Not to mention the sex faces make it sooooo much worse. I've come across a couple cute soft core actors, but then there was that whole thing about me not bein able to see how big their dicks were, or even if they were even sticking it in. I hated that shit about soft core but w/e...But mostly, the actors are pretty ugly. The main focus is on the women, which I like, but shit. Aside from Brian Pumper's ass I can't think of any cute actors:/
Then here's my weirdo ass problem. When The camera pans behind the actor fucking the chick, I'm WAAAAY too interested in his ass area. And not in an "Oh, that turns me on" way, but more of a "What the fuck is going on down there" way. First off it always looks like they're pinching in a fart the entire time. Loosen up a bit! No one is coming for your booty hole on this set. Then The gooch area bothers me to no end. The anatomy just won't register in my head. Like I'm well aware dudes don't have vaginas for obvious reasons but looking at the strip between their balls and ass...then looking down at what I've got...My mind = just BLOWN. I might sound like an idiot but I don't care right now I have questions lol. Then I wonder how clean their booty holes are because I've HEARD some men like having that area pressed down with a knuckle...I just can't see myself blindly tryna finger it, I might miss...or see something I shouldn't see nor even want to see and the mood is killed. Idk...Then sometimes they have a very interesting hair pattern on their legs, like little afro beady beads...distracting. I like hairless apes, but that's just me.Then I notice when They stand and thrust I swear it's like one of their balls disappears. Cause I only see one mackin' and hangin' whackin ol girl in the ass. Does their body like suck up the other teste? Or am I just trippin? But I could've sworn he started with two...Whatever. I also think there is way too much oral going on but then again I guess that's not for me anyways. Blow him once in the beginning and once in the end please.
The money shot is good in my book EXCEPT when he finishes in her ass and the camera just waits for her butt to push it out. That shit just makes me want to throw up and die.
Lastly I have a question about ebony porn (I hate that they call it that. You can tell who watches a lot of porn when they say shit like "She's such a pretty ebony girl." Who the fuck says that shit lol) Okay I Don't watch too many scenes if the chick has a purple vag (just a preference don't shoot me gad damnit) and NO black girls aren't the only ones with em. Mine isn't purple at all it's still kinda pinkish, while my baby mama is Mexican an Filipino an hers is suuuuper purple. Don't ask me how I know and don't tell her I told you lol. BUT it does eliminate a lot of them. And the ones I do watch the girls are always ratchet ass fuck with weird ass bodies. They're either built like a 12 year old boy or one big mac away from being obese calling herself thick. Girl if you don't take your big ass to BBW...It's like they just randomly started pulling bitches off the street. I have some faves tho...
I love love love Lacey Duvall...even if she went and got what appears to be ass shots on me:/ All I'm gonna say is when she did that scene with Pinky a while back in the blue fishnet getup she was pretty small...then I saw her do a scene with this dude where she was wearing purple fishnet thingies and her ass just looked...off...and not in a oh I just gained some weight and it just happened to go to my ass type way either. But that's all Ima say about that...She has an AMAZING rack...I'm low key jealous of it. I wonder if she went and had a revision tho cause they looked kinds bigger in that same video and we all know she has augmented breasts anyways...Her face is also easy on the yes she doesn't have that ratchet look to her whatsoever.
We got Jemini too. I first saw her in a threesome scene with Roxy Reynolds and some dude...She's also easy on the eyes. Ehh I like Roxy but I don't go looking for scenes with her specifically in it...The first scene I saw her in she was screaming bloody murder and it turned me the fuck off I had to mute that shit.
I also like Jada Fire...too bad she retired this year:/
GIRL GIRL PORN
Probably will always be my fave. It's just something I've never engaged in myself so it's exciting to watch. UNLESS it's just them eating each other out. It gets boring reaaaaaal quick like can you bitches do anything else?! I can only watch you spit on her cooch and finger her so many times before I get mad. I like skinny chicks with big ass tittays. small waists, and somewhat of an ass. You don't have to be able to suffocate your partner if you sit on their face tho, just a little something....But yeah there's gotta be some scissoring or some toys involved. If there's none of that what the fuck am I watching for? I'm tryna live out a fantasy here and oral sex and fingering are NOT included in that fantasy. I have no interest whatsoever in going down on another girl, never look a gift horse in the asshole. And I can get a dude to finger and eat me out so...it's gotta be something a man isn't capable of. Except when it comes to straps. If I found me a bad ass chick I'd let her strap me down. Especially if she had nice boobs. While Pinky is def a lil bigger than I like em her and Sasha Grey gets down on the straps I'd both let them give it to me...but enough about me lol
I know what I like and I really don't have too many complaints about GG porn. Except when a pretty girl has a bush:( insta buzz kill.
I also had a question about the consistency of semen...I've seen it shoot onto a girl's face and land like silly putty or a squishy booger and it just looks nasty. I can just imagine a guy cumming in my mouth and it's sticking to my gums or the roof of my mouth AFTER I swallow. I like mine kinda runny as gross as it may sound. I only swallow with what's his face and his is kinda runny. I just notice it goes down better...but that could be because I like his sex so much that I just do it as a courtesy. But there are some guys that just make me instantly gag as soon as it hits my mouth. Sorry if you think the faces I make or the fact I immediately spit that shit out hurts your feelings but oh well...it also makes clean up easier. If I can feel it running down wherever I can clean it up instead of putting my pants on and feeling it all slimy across my ass and jeans. Or worse, have to tell my mom it's just dried drool when I miss a spot on my face. Or even worse than that having it in MY HAIR. I will cut your balls off if you nut in my hair.Go anywhere else but my eyes and hair.
Anyways...it's getting late and I'm sexually frustrated. I'm probably going to watch some porn and handle business and pretend that it helps. When all I really want is for him to stop acting like such a douche bag asshole and just be able to have fun sex again. Because I can't find anyone else who does it like him. Believe me I've tried ad I'm getting more and more discouraged with all these failed missions...
The CraigsList blog is taking a little longer than expected. I finished my part but Curly Fries is determined to get a real girl to respond to him, so we'll see what happens lol
Sexsomniac ruined out little measley ass once a month bang session. I'm sad. I think he got back with his ex but I don't want to feel like a hussy and ask him to fork over some peen, He has my number and if he wants it he has it. But damnit...
Miss Sixxxty, your lonely ass sexually frustrated freak of the industryy
Anyways all the Einsteins out there seem to think masturbation is my cure all end all. Let me just say I'm about thisclose to going fucking blind from all these sucky ass elf induced orgasms. I don't need to JUST have an orgasm I need to go HAM on a dick, I need my back blown the fuck out and slapped around a bit and all that good shit. If someone ever saw me tryna do that shit to myself I'd probably be admitted into the nut house. Anyways I've been watching a fuck ton of porn lately and recently decided to switch it up from Girl Girl porn back to Boy Girl porn. The first porn I watched was BG and it was cool for a minute but aside from the money shots they got kinda boring. Then I started noticing things people watching porn trying to get off shouldn't notice. That's how I knew it was time to switch it up.
BOY GIRL PORN
Okay so my main question is where are all the attractive male porn stars? Doing gay porn:( Sucks in porn that as a guy you really don't need anything but a big dick and some stamina. I hate staring at ugly guys when I'm tryna get off. How the fuck am I supposed to get off on that shit when I can't get past that ugly ass mug?? Not to mention the sex faces make it sooooo much worse. I've come across a couple cute soft core actors, but then there was that whole thing about me not bein able to see how big their dicks were, or even if they were even sticking it in. I hated that shit about soft core but w/e...But mostly, the actors are pretty ugly. The main focus is on the women, which I like, but shit. Aside from Brian Pumper's ass I can't think of any cute actors:/
Then here's my weirdo ass problem. When The camera pans behind the actor fucking the chick, I'm WAAAAY too interested in his ass area. And not in an "Oh, that turns me on" way, but more of a "What the fuck is going on down there" way. First off it always looks like they're pinching in a fart the entire time. Loosen up a bit! No one is coming for your booty hole on this set. Then The gooch area bothers me to no end. The anatomy just won't register in my head. Like I'm well aware dudes don't have vaginas for obvious reasons but looking at the strip between their balls and ass...then looking down at what I've got...My mind = just BLOWN. I might sound like an idiot but I don't care right now I have questions lol. Then I wonder how clean their booty holes are because I've HEARD some men like having that area pressed down with a knuckle...I just can't see myself blindly tryna finger it, I might miss...or see something I shouldn't see nor even want to see and the mood is killed. Idk...Then sometimes they have a very interesting hair pattern on their legs, like little afro beady beads...distracting. I like hairless apes, but that's just me.Then I notice when They stand and thrust I swear it's like one of their balls disappears. Cause I only see one mackin' and hangin' whackin ol girl in the ass. Does their body like suck up the other teste? Or am I just trippin? But I could've sworn he started with two...Whatever. I also think there is way too much oral going on but then again I guess that's not for me anyways. Blow him once in the beginning and once in the end please.
The money shot is good in my book EXCEPT when he finishes in her ass and the camera just waits for her butt to push it out. That shit just makes me want to throw up and die.
Lastly I have a question about ebony porn (I hate that they call it that. You can tell who watches a lot of porn when they say shit like "She's such a pretty ebony girl." Who the fuck says that shit lol) Okay I Don't watch too many scenes if the chick has a purple vag (just a preference don't shoot me gad damnit) and NO black girls aren't the only ones with em. Mine isn't purple at all it's still kinda pinkish, while my baby mama is Mexican an Filipino an hers is suuuuper purple. Don't ask me how I know and don't tell her I told you lol. BUT it does eliminate a lot of them. And the ones I do watch the girls are always ratchet ass fuck with weird ass bodies. They're either built like a 12 year old boy or one big mac away from being obese calling herself thick. Girl if you don't take your big ass to BBW...It's like they just randomly started pulling bitches off the street. I have some faves tho...
We got Jemini too. I first saw her in a threesome scene with Roxy Reynolds and some dude...She's also easy on the eyes. Ehh I like Roxy but I don't go looking for scenes with her specifically in it...The first scene I saw her in she was screaming bloody murder and it turned me the fuck off I had to mute that shit.I also like Jada Fire...too bad she retired this year:/
GIRL GIRL PORN
Probably will always be my fave. It's just something I've never engaged in myself so it's exciting to watch. UNLESS it's just them eating each other out. It gets boring reaaaaaal quick like can you bitches do anything else?! I can only watch you spit on her cooch and finger her so many times before I get mad. I like skinny chicks with big ass tittays. small waists, and somewhat of an ass. You don't have to be able to suffocate your partner if you sit on their face tho, just a little something....But yeah there's gotta be some scissoring or some toys involved. If there's none of that what the fuck am I watching for? I'm tryna live out a fantasy here and oral sex and fingering are NOT included in that fantasy. I have no interest whatsoever in going down on another girl, never look a gift horse in the asshole. And I can get a dude to finger and eat me out so...it's gotta be something a man isn't capable of. Except when it comes to straps. If I found me a bad ass chick I'd let her strap me down. Especially if she had nice boobs. While Pinky is def a lil bigger than I like em her and Sasha Grey gets down on the straps I'd both let them give it to me...but enough about me lol
I know what I like and I really don't have too many complaints about GG porn. Except when a pretty girl has a bush:( insta buzz kill.
I also had a question about the consistency of semen...I've seen it shoot onto a girl's face and land like silly putty or a squishy booger and it just looks nasty. I can just imagine a guy cumming in my mouth and it's sticking to my gums or the roof of my mouth AFTER I swallow. I like mine kinda runny as gross as it may sound. I only swallow with what's his face and his is kinda runny. I just notice it goes down better...but that could be because I like his sex so much that I just do it as a courtesy. But there are some guys that just make me instantly gag as soon as it hits my mouth. Sorry if you think the faces I make or the fact I immediately spit that shit out hurts your feelings but oh well...it also makes clean up easier. If I can feel it running down wherever I can clean it up instead of putting my pants on and feeling it all slimy across my ass and jeans. Or worse, have to tell my mom it's just dried drool when I miss a spot on my face. Or even worse than that having it in MY HAIR. I will cut your balls off if you nut in my hair.Go anywhere else but my eyes and hair.
Anyways...it's getting late and I'm sexually frustrated. I'm probably going to watch some porn and handle business and pretend that it helps. When all I really want is for him to stop acting like such a douche bag asshole and just be able to have fun sex again. Because I can't find anyone else who does it like him. Believe me I've tried ad I'm getting more and more discouraged with all these failed missions...
The CraigsList blog is taking a little longer than expected. I finished my part but Curly Fries is determined to get a real girl to respond to him, so we'll see what happens lol
Sexsomniac ruined out little measley ass once a month bang session. I'm sad. I think he got back with his ex but I don't want to feel like a hussy and ask him to fork over some peen, He has my number and if he wants it he has it. But damnit...
Miss Sixxxty, your lonely ass sexually frustrated freak of the industryy
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
He Want That...Cake Cake Cake ...
‘Ello babes and gents. I know everyone has been wondering where the fuck I’ve been for the past month or so…and the answer is…not doing shit. I started working at a different club in LA and I make a lot more money out there which is good…my sex life low key sucks but what else Is new…and we had a birthday! (the blog not me). And to celebrate I’d figure I’d just write til my fingers fall off.
BABY MAMA DRAMA
I hate being involved in baby mama drama, especially when I’m not even that involved with the guy the bitch is going crazy over. I remember this one time in the back back days where this guy was hitting me up trying to hang out and I found out the day we hung out was two days after his baby mama had their kid! Look up "triflin’" in the dictionary I bet you’d see his face! But I don’t wanna talk about the dudes I wanna talk about the girls. I’m in this situation and I don’t know what direction I should go in. So there’s obviously this guy, and we’re just cool friends. Anyways I got his baby mama on my phone at ungodly hours calling me cussing me out, sending me nasty messages on facebook…and the kicker is, her and my friend have been back together! Like bitch are you kidding me?! If he wanted me, he would be with me make no mistake about that. But he chose to try the family thing again so he’s with you. If you got your man and happy family, why the fuck are you bothering me? I damn sure ain’t bothering him! I could ask my friend to do something about it but crazy bitches are known for pulling the “You’ll never see your kid again” card and my conscious can’t take that kind of stress even if it isn’t directly my fault. But I do think dudes should keep their baby mamas in check as best they can when it comes to female friends whose only crimes are simply existing. Back to this crazy bitch tho. The way I see it, I have one of two options: I can either beat the bitch’s ass when I see her out and about, choke slam now ask questions later type shit…or I can keep track of all the threats and have her ass arrested for harassment and criminal threats (which is a FELONY I have learned) and show the bitch nobody is playing with her ass. Because we are grown ass women and should be able to handle the situation as such, but clearly that isn’t on her agenda. The bitch just needs to find herself some business and stick her damn nose in it and leave me the hell alone. The only problem with both these situations is that by doing either one my friend prolly won’t be too happy with me after everything is all said and done so…what do I do?!
SEX && FEET
I have pretty feet. And by pretty feet I mean my second toe is shorter than my big toe. I have no corns. I get a pedicure about every 3 weeks and I make sure to exfoliate all the rough skin off my heels. And my big toes aren’t hairy. And I can appreciate a lady having pretty feet. One thing I can’t get down with tho is guys feet. I have always felt a certain way about men feet, mainly because they’re ugly as fuck. Most men wanna act like they don’t need a pedicure every now and then because it isn’t “manly” or whatever, but that is no excuse for your toes to be throwing up gang signs nshit! Get rid of all the corns and rough skin, CLIP THOSE DAMN TOE NAILS DOWN!!! You shouldn’t be able to shred my damn sheets with your feet alone. THAT being said…I get irked when guys wear socks during sex. It looks ghetto as hell and I hate it. Like being butt ass naked in a pair of tube socks has never been sexy to me. I’m left at a catch 22 - I hate ugly men feet but I hate socks equally as much…at the end of the night I’d rather you just take your socks off. Now I can let you fucking me in a pair of Jordans slide, I’ve done it before and I’m like you keep your J’s on I’ll keep my Nikes on and keep things moving. Because sometimes you just can’t go barefoot outside…
I ran into Brian Pumper last weekend(yes the one that fucked Montana Fishbourne aka Chippy D aka Chips Ahoy booty) and my oh my if that isn’t the finest man walking, no matter how corny his big ass is. Anyways I YouTube’d a couple of his music videos and a web series came up called “Brian Pumper: Life Of A Porno Nigga” (if you like World Star Hip Hop then you’ve either A.) already seen it or B.) it will be right up your alley I PROMISE! How it isn’t on tv already I have no idea. Go watch. You won’t be disappointed) and one of the episodes touched on him having a foot fetish. I don’t watch too many of his scenes so I had no idea. Then he starts going around sniffing strangers feet nshit and talking about if he can smell this girl’s toes and jack off at the same time…I just can’t! And the kicker is he likes smelly feet! People have their fetishes and I’m not one to judge but if a dude asked me if he could rub my feet allover his face while he jacked off…I’d be a little put off by it.
DOPE DICK SLANGERS
In a perfect world I would have one of these who would satisfy my every sexual need when I needed them taken care of. I haven’t had sex in about a month or so, and I’m getting that addict itch going on. I’ve been having some okay sex to get me by but shit…it isn’t enough! I haven’t had really good sex since you know who which was back in January…and you know sometimes I rant on twitter about not getting the D when I need it, or why when I DO get it it sucks:( like I’m being punished for some crimes I did in my past life or something. One of my followers was telling me it shouldn’t be hard to find since I’m a girl and this seems to be the general consensus for men about women and sex. Let me break it down for you guys:
While YES it may be easier for me to call someone up and get laid than it would be for a guy it isn’t that simple. The problem for you is that most of the time guys are friends with girls that given the chance if they weren’t as close or whatever they’d probably smash (whether you wanna admit it or NOT). Women tend to be friends with men and just that. There are PLENTY of my guy friends I wouldn’t have sex with EVER, but on a drunken occasion or two have hinted that they wanna see how I get down in the bed (since I share all my stories with them anyways). So that would make it easier for the girl to call up a “friend” late at night for a “movie night” and he’d be over there faster than you can say “make sure you have a condom;)”. Another important thing to remember is that for men, all they need is a wet warm hole to stick their dick in so they can fuck it til kingdom cum. 98% of the time with enough stimulation a man can have his nut. For women it’s not that easy!!! I can’t just go fuck ANYBODY expecting the sex to be good. You gotta deal with dudes that can’t get it up, dudes that can’t keep it up, dudes that cum too early, dudes whose dicks were too small ect…so many things can go wrong! I’ve never had one of my guy friends come up to me and say “Man I had sex with this girl and it sucked because her cookie was too big”.
SIDEBAR: I’m not blaming bad sex solely on men because sometimes you’ll get a girl who doesn’t shave, didn’t wipe good enough, just has a particular odor or whatever I’m just talking in terms of sexual dysfunction it’s generally the man’s fault. If the reason you can’t get it hard is cause of something she’s doing then ABORT MISSION!
So I have to narrow down the playing field. I’m used to whale penises that stroke my g-spot constantly and I don’t feel that I should always have to settle for less if I don’t have to! If you aren’t showing me anything that shows you have potential then I’m definitely not about to show you what color my thong is that night. I can’t just lay there and call that good sex you gotta know what you’re doing. So when I go thru my phone book and realize the only dudes I have the option of calling are wack, I have no options. When I have no options, I have no sex. When I have no sex, I have no sanity. THAT’S why, in theory, it actually is HARDER for me to get laid than it is for my counterparts with the penises.
Back to my diamond tipped dick havers, I need me a pusher. A pusher of that sexual napalm. Give me sexual ecstasy. Make me come begging for more. Make me hate every bitch I see you out in public with, even if she’s your sister. I know what I want, when I want it, how I want it and where I want it. As you have all bared witness before, give me the good shit I’ll buy you tacos after. A latino diamond tipped dope dick slanger sounds sooo lovely right about now (although I don’t discriminate). I really wish you guys just fell out of the sky…
QUESTION: In all seriousness, as a man, could you have sex (almost) every day? Not would you, but if you had someone willing to have sex with you every day would you physically be able to do so? There are plenty of dudes who say they can, then when it comes down to it we find out they ain’t about that life. Could you?
A BIT OR RANDOMNESS
If you’re at school and you notice you have a cute classmate that you wouldn’t mind humping the shit out of, wait til the end of the semester. That way, if you guys DO have sex and it sucks, you won’t have to see their face every week.
Happy birthday to us, we’re now 2 years old. Glad everyone is enjoying the blog thus far, your feedback is great, love all the positive comments you guys leave (even if it’s not a lot). Always gotta appreciate the ones who’ve stuck around since day one and followed the soap opera known as Happenis and whatnot. Hopefully I find someone new and there will be exciting things to come!
Next week we'll talk about cruising for ass on CraigsList. Lol
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
BABY MAMA DRAMA
I hate being involved in baby mama drama, especially when I’m not even that involved with the guy the bitch is going crazy over. I remember this one time in the back back days where this guy was hitting me up trying to hang out and I found out the day we hung out was two days after his baby mama had their kid! Look up "triflin’" in the dictionary I bet you’d see his face! But I don’t wanna talk about the dudes I wanna talk about the girls. I’m in this situation and I don’t know what direction I should go in. So there’s obviously this guy, and we’re just cool friends. Anyways I got his baby mama on my phone at ungodly hours calling me cussing me out, sending me nasty messages on facebook…and the kicker is, her and my friend have been back together! Like bitch are you kidding me?! If he wanted me, he would be with me make no mistake about that. But he chose to try the family thing again so he’s with you. If you got your man and happy family, why the fuck are you bothering me? I damn sure ain’t bothering him! I could ask my friend to do something about it but crazy bitches are known for pulling the “You’ll never see your kid again” card and my conscious can’t take that kind of stress even if it isn’t directly my fault. But I do think dudes should keep their baby mamas in check as best they can when it comes to female friends whose only crimes are simply existing. Back to this crazy bitch tho. The way I see it, I have one of two options: I can either beat the bitch’s ass when I see her out and about, choke slam now ask questions later type shit…or I can keep track of all the threats and have her ass arrested for harassment and criminal threats (which is a FELONY I have learned) and show the bitch nobody is playing with her ass. Because we are grown ass women and should be able to handle the situation as such, but clearly that isn’t on her agenda. The bitch just needs to find herself some business and stick her damn nose in it and leave me the hell alone. The only problem with both these situations is that by doing either one my friend prolly won’t be too happy with me after everything is all said and done so…what do I do?!
SEX && FEET
I have pretty feet. And by pretty feet I mean my second toe is shorter than my big toe. I have no corns. I get a pedicure about every 3 weeks and I make sure to exfoliate all the rough skin off my heels. And my big toes aren’t hairy. And I can appreciate a lady having pretty feet. One thing I can’t get down with tho is guys feet. I have always felt a certain way about men feet, mainly because they’re ugly as fuck. Most men wanna act like they don’t need a pedicure every now and then because it isn’t “manly” or whatever, but that is no excuse for your toes to be throwing up gang signs nshit! Get rid of all the corns and rough skin, CLIP THOSE DAMN TOE NAILS DOWN!!! You shouldn’t be able to shred my damn sheets with your feet alone. THAT being said…I get irked when guys wear socks during sex. It looks ghetto as hell and I hate it. Like being butt ass naked in a pair of tube socks has never been sexy to me. I’m left at a catch 22 - I hate ugly men feet but I hate socks equally as much…at the end of the night I’d rather you just take your socks off. Now I can let you fucking me in a pair of Jordans slide, I’ve done it before and I’m like you keep your J’s on I’ll keep my Nikes on and keep things moving. Because sometimes you just can’t go barefoot outside…
DOPE DICK SLANGERS
In a perfect world I would have one of these who would satisfy my every sexual need when I needed them taken care of. I haven’t had sex in about a month or so, and I’m getting that addict itch going on. I’ve been having some okay sex to get me by but shit…it isn’t enough! I haven’t had really good sex since you know who which was back in January…and you know sometimes I rant on twitter about not getting the D when I need it, or why when I DO get it it sucks:( like I’m being punished for some crimes I did in my past life or something. One of my followers was telling me it shouldn’t be hard to find since I’m a girl and this seems to be the general consensus for men about women and sex. Let me break it down for you guys:
While YES it may be easier for me to call someone up and get laid than it would be for a guy it isn’t that simple. The problem for you is that most of the time guys are friends with girls that given the chance if they weren’t as close or whatever they’d probably smash (whether you wanna admit it or NOT). Women tend to be friends with men and just that. There are PLENTY of my guy friends I wouldn’t have sex with EVER, but on a drunken occasion or two have hinted that they wanna see how I get down in the bed (since I share all my stories with them anyways). So that would make it easier for the girl to call up a “friend” late at night for a “movie night” and he’d be over there faster than you can say “make sure you have a condom;)”. Another important thing to remember is that for men, all they need is a wet warm hole to stick their dick in so they can fuck it til kingdom cum. 98% of the time with enough stimulation a man can have his nut. For women it’s not that easy!!! I can’t just go fuck ANYBODY expecting the sex to be good. You gotta deal with dudes that can’t get it up, dudes that can’t keep it up, dudes that cum too early, dudes whose dicks were too small ect…so many things can go wrong! I’ve never had one of my guy friends come up to me and say “Man I had sex with this girl and it sucked because her cookie was too big”.
SIDEBAR: I’m not blaming bad sex solely on men because sometimes you’ll get a girl who doesn’t shave, didn’t wipe good enough, just has a particular odor or whatever I’m just talking in terms of sexual dysfunction it’s generally the man’s fault. If the reason you can’t get it hard is cause of something she’s doing then ABORT MISSION!
So I have to narrow down the playing field. I’m used to whale penises that stroke my g-spot constantly and I don’t feel that I should always have to settle for less if I don’t have to! If you aren’t showing me anything that shows you have potential then I’m definitely not about to show you what color my thong is that night. I can’t just lay there and call that good sex you gotta know what you’re doing. So when I go thru my phone book and realize the only dudes I have the option of calling are wack, I have no options. When I have no options, I have no sex. When I have no sex, I have no sanity. THAT’S why, in theory, it actually is HARDER for me to get laid than it is for my counterparts with the penises.
Back to my diamond tipped dick havers, I need me a pusher. A pusher of that sexual napalm. Give me sexual ecstasy. Make me come begging for more. Make me hate every bitch I see you out in public with, even if she’s your sister. I know what I want, when I want it, how I want it and where I want it. As you have all bared witness before, give me the good shit I’ll buy you tacos after. A latino diamond tipped dope dick slanger sounds sooo lovely right about now (although I don’t discriminate). I really wish you guys just fell out of the sky…
QUESTION: In all seriousness, as a man, could you have sex (almost) every day? Not would you, but if you had someone willing to have sex with you every day would you physically be able to do so? There are plenty of dudes who say they can, then when it comes down to it we find out they ain’t about that life. Could you?
A BIT OR RANDOMNESS
If you’re at school and you notice you have a cute classmate that you wouldn’t mind humping the shit out of, wait til the end of the semester. That way, if you guys DO have sex and it sucks, you won’t have to see their face every week.
Happy birthday to us, we’re now 2 years old. Glad everyone is enjoying the blog thus far, your feedback is great, love all the positive comments you guys leave (even if it’s not a lot). Always gotta appreciate the ones who’ve stuck around since day one and followed the soap opera known as Happenis and whatnot. Hopefully I find someone new and there will be exciting things to come!
Next week we'll talk about cruising for ass on CraigsList. Lol
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
Friday, March 30, 2012
Hump Day Festivities
I don't even know where to begin with my night with the Sexsomniac. So I've counted all the times we've had sex and we literally have sex once a month. As in once in November, once in December, ect. Just as I thought he was about to ruin our pattern he calls me up the other night (drunk, as usual) asking me if I want to have sex. Duh. So I get dressed, pop a couple vics, and drive off. When I get there he's playing bp with his coworkers, two who happen to be the big belly dude who tried to spoon me and that random Mexican who wanted me to breast feed him lol. I'm just thinking...umm...and I going to be getting some peen..? Or...because idk if he knows what gas prices are like right now but I just can't be driving across town all willy nilly. He tells me they're waiting on strippers to arrive and I'm like "But I'm right here wtf?" But I chilled, I had never had strippers come to me before it was going to be interesting to see how it all went down.
As I waited for the strippers to get there, enjoying my high the big belly dude comes up to me and tells me he doesn't like white girls, and he only really likes Mexican and black chicks. No surprise there. He goes on about being the star on his football team (whatever position big bellied dudes played) and how only white chicks would throw themselves on him. Um. Okay. Then he tells me how he wouldn't come to my club because he doesn't wanna see me LIKE THAT, all naked and whatnot. Because we're friends he couldn't do it. And I say "YES. I AGREE!!! YOU DON'T EVER NEED TO SEE ME LIKE THAT. As long as we're on the same page here buddy...". The strippers arrived with their driver and they were pretty average. So the Sexsomniac just straight up says "These bitches are ugly" I was just embarrassed for him and them. They get dressed downstairs while everyone is going on and on about how ugly they are and how they should've just paid me (Yeah you SHOULD'VE) but I wasn't gonna knock their hustle. It must suck having to get called in to work at like 2-3 in the morning...So the girls come upstairs and one is barefoot in torn fishnets the other is wearing toms with a bad wig. They're both built like rectangles, with no shapes whatsoever. They start doing their lap dances which is basically a slow grind in their laps, turn around and do the most awkward dry hump ever, and shake what little ass they have. Lather, rinse, repeat. The Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap (the big belly dude clearly needs a nickname now) and I all go out on the balcony after about 10 minutes of fuckery and The Sexsomniac is still going on about how ugly these bitches are and how did they waste 400 bucks on them. I tell him he should let me dance for him instead. I give him a lap dance on the balcony and at the end I bounce my ass and make it clap in his lap and it was a done deal. Mr. Dunlap asks where's his dance and between FRIENDS I give him a little dance, I don't dance long enough to get him hard and I hop off. I peek in the window to see the girls doing the same shit, except this time they're topless. I go inside and Mr. Dunlap tells one of the dudes to come on the balcony and get a dance from me. I tell him give me 20 bucks and I'll go inside and dance and show the other strippers up. The Mexican Breast Feeder is just watching in awe as I give his boss a better dance than he's getting and the girls start talking about my piercings and my boobs and how I put her A cups to shame (boy do I remember those days...) After coming up on 40 bucks I go towards the balcony and The Sexsomniac asks me to put my boobs on the glass before I come outside. Squish, squish. I go outside and I'm like dude...I'm ready NOW let's go inside already! He tells me we can't until everyone leaves so I'm just like fuck man...He suggests we just do it on the balcony. I just stand in front of him and he pulls my shorts down while I try and secretly fish a condom out my hoodie. We don't get very far before someone comes outside to pee off the balcony. Every time we try to get something started someone comes outside! I tried going down on him while he kept watch and of course someone was coming so I stood up fast while his pants were unbuttoned looking extremely guilty but wtf ever. People needed to leave lol. The Mexican Breast Feeder comes outside knowing exactly what was going on and he asks me how much would it be to fuck one of the strippers in there. I tell him I had no idea, he should probably ask her and not me. This is also not the first time he's mentioned paying for sex so you sir, get the side eye. Then he asks how much would it be to get something going between me, him and the Sexsomniac and I'm just like wait what?! He comes up behind me telling me that he almost got me last time (Lies) and how we were already out here and the nut job tried to bend me over! I was like time to gooo...Then Mr. Dunlap comes outside and says the strippers are leaving. The Sexsomniac says "Cool, now we can go inside" and Mr. Dunlap says "Let's" *record stops* sir WHAT? Who is included in that "Let's" cause that's a plural you shouldn't be included in!
Mr. Dunlap: *hands on my hips* can I ask you something?
Me: What's up?
Mr. Dunlap: ...One time
Me: Oh nooooo...we're FRIEND'S remember? You don't wanna see me like that!
Mr. Dunlap: I know but I'm saying just this once...
Me: Nope. Noooope. You're really blowing my high right now...
I can't. Not with any of them that night they were all doing waaaay too much. After everyone is cleared out we try to go inside but then The Sexsomniac remembers he left his keys in Mr. Dunlap's car and he had just left. So we might have to have sex in either the spare room or my car. I did NOT drive this fucking far to have sex in my car or on a cement floor. After about 10 minutes he finds the keys in his pocket -_________- . We go inside, turn the tv on and get down to business. I start on top, cow girl to reverse, and I was so high and he was so drunk I couldn't tell if we we're having sex or watching tv lol. I hopped off and started giving him head, gags and all. Idk what it is about the sound of gagging that makes dudes go crazy. It sounds nasty as fuck (to me, at least). And I noticed he was getting whiskey dick no matter how many positions we got into. I even went against my own beliefs and semi licked his unshaven balls to help him. I was willing to do just about anything to make him bust. Found a nice lil bald patch (why am I laughing while I type this lol) and did a little quick flick, lick suck on it but it didn't help. I knew it just wasn't in the cards for him that night so I stopped and asked him if he was tired, because I was, but I would keep going if he wanted...Thankfully he tapped out and we just went to sleep. We spooned naked and just drifted off to sleep and everything was all good til he fell into that DEEP sleep. He is the wildest sleeper EVER. Any sleeping position you can imagine he was in it at some point, stealing covers and all. And then I knew his sexsomnia was no joke because at points during the morning he would be moaning for no reason, and I even caught him jerking it in a dead sleep. Finally around noon I told myself it was time to get my lazy ass up and get dressed and go home. So he got up, gave me my clothes and I gave him a hug and left.
What an eventful Wednesday night.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
As I waited for the strippers to get there, enjoying my high the big belly dude comes up to me and tells me he doesn't like white girls, and he only really likes Mexican and black chicks. No surprise there. He goes on about being the star on his football team (whatever position big bellied dudes played) and how only white chicks would throw themselves on him. Um. Okay. Then he tells me how he wouldn't come to my club because he doesn't wanna see me LIKE THAT, all naked and whatnot. Because we're friends he couldn't do it. And I say "YES. I AGREE!!! YOU DON'T EVER NEED TO SEE ME LIKE THAT. As long as we're on the same page here buddy...". The strippers arrived with their driver and they were pretty average. So the Sexsomniac just straight up says "These bitches are ugly" I was just embarrassed for him and them. They get dressed downstairs while everyone is going on and on about how ugly they are and how they should've just paid me (Yeah you SHOULD'VE) but I wasn't gonna knock their hustle. It must suck having to get called in to work at like 2-3 in the morning...So the girls come upstairs and one is barefoot in torn fishnets the other is wearing toms with a bad wig. They're both built like rectangles, with no shapes whatsoever. They start doing their lap dances which is basically a slow grind in their laps, turn around and do the most awkward dry hump ever, and shake what little ass they have. Lather, rinse, repeat. The Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap (the big belly dude clearly needs a nickname now) and I all go out on the balcony after about 10 minutes of fuckery and The Sexsomniac is still going on about how ugly these bitches are and how did they waste 400 bucks on them. I tell him he should let me dance for him instead. I give him a lap dance on the balcony and at the end I bounce my ass and make it clap in his lap and it was a done deal. Mr. Dunlap asks where's his dance and between FRIENDS I give him a little dance, I don't dance long enough to get him hard and I hop off. I peek in the window to see the girls doing the same shit, except this time they're topless. I go inside and Mr. Dunlap tells one of the dudes to come on the balcony and get a dance from me. I tell him give me 20 bucks and I'll go inside and dance and show the other strippers up. The Mexican Breast Feeder is just watching in awe as I give his boss a better dance than he's getting and the girls start talking about my piercings and my boobs and how I put her A cups to shame (boy do I remember those days...) After coming up on 40 bucks I go towards the balcony and The Sexsomniac asks me to put my boobs on the glass before I come outside. Squish, squish. I go outside and I'm like dude...I'm ready NOW let's go inside already! He tells me we can't until everyone leaves so I'm just like fuck man...He suggests we just do it on the balcony. I just stand in front of him and he pulls my shorts down while I try and secretly fish a condom out my hoodie. We don't get very far before someone comes outside to pee off the balcony. Every time we try to get something started someone comes outside! I tried going down on him while he kept watch and of course someone was coming so I stood up fast while his pants were unbuttoned looking extremely guilty but wtf ever. People needed to leave lol. The Mexican Breast Feeder comes outside knowing exactly what was going on and he asks me how much would it be to fuck one of the strippers in there. I tell him I had no idea, he should probably ask her and not me. This is also not the first time he's mentioned paying for sex so you sir, get the side eye. Then he asks how much would it be to get something going between me, him and the Sexsomniac and I'm just like wait what?! He comes up behind me telling me that he almost got me last time (Lies) and how we were already out here and the nut job tried to bend me over! I was like time to gooo...Then Mr. Dunlap comes outside and says the strippers are leaving. The Sexsomniac says "Cool, now we can go inside" and Mr. Dunlap says "Let's" *record stops* sir WHAT? Who is included in that "Let's" cause that's a plural you shouldn't be included in!
Mr. Dunlap: *hands on my hips* can I ask you something?
Me: What's up?
Mr. Dunlap: ...One time
Me: Oh nooooo...we're FRIEND'S remember? You don't wanna see me like that!
Mr. Dunlap: I know but I'm saying just this once...
Me: Nope. Noooope. You're really blowing my high right now...
I can't. Not with any of them that night they were all doing waaaay too much. After everyone is cleared out we try to go inside but then The Sexsomniac remembers he left his keys in Mr. Dunlap's car and he had just left. So we might have to have sex in either the spare room or my car. I did NOT drive this fucking far to have sex in my car or on a cement floor. After about 10 minutes he finds the keys in his pocket -_________- . We go inside, turn the tv on and get down to business. I start on top, cow girl to reverse, and I was so high and he was so drunk I couldn't tell if we we're having sex or watching tv lol. I hopped off and started giving him head, gags and all. Idk what it is about the sound of gagging that makes dudes go crazy. It sounds nasty as fuck (to me, at least). And I noticed he was getting whiskey dick no matter how many positions we got into. I even went against my own beliefs and semi licked his unshaven balls to help him. I was willing to do just about anything to make him bust. Found a nice lil bald patch (why am I laughing while I type this lol) and did a little quick flick, lick suck on it but it didn't help. I knew it just wasn't in the cards for him that night so I stopped and asked him if he was tired, because I was, but I would keep going if he wanted...Thankfully he tapped out and we just went to sleep. We spooned naked and just drifted off to sleep and everything was all good til he fell into that DEEP sleep. He is the wildest sleeper EVER. Any sleeping position you can imagine he was in it at some point, stealing covers and all. And then I knew his sexsomnia was no joke because at points during the morning he would be moaning for no reason, and I even caught him jerking it in a dead sleep. Finally around noon I told myself it was time to get my lazy ass up and get dressed and go home. So he got up, gave me my clothes and I gave him a hug and left.
What an eventful Wednesday night.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
"I'm Sorry But The Vagina You Are Trying To Reach..."
Good peen will def make you act like an idiot. He fucks up, I get mad, he offers sex I willingly accept. No matter what he did, no matter the amount of anger or hurt or sadness he's ever made me feel I would always let him back, on the grounds that his peen is absolutely second to none. Where does one draw the fucking line??
A while back we had a mini fallout because he drunkenly told me he loved me and then told me he loved someone else two weeks later, the girl he had been on and off with for YEARS...and I knew if it ever came down to it he'd probably choose her over me in a heart beat. Two months later we "made up" aka had sex and it was all good I suppose. He told me he didn't love her anymore, and how much he tried being with her but she didn't wanna be with him (it's a bizarre-o love triangle) blah blah blah. Okay cool, now I have you, free from emotional baggage. Cause don't get me wrong, I knew I wouldn't have him to myself I knew we fucked other people, but it's just that. Fucking other people you don't really have feelings for. But just he thought of me coming in second place to someone he actually cares about, someone he has true feelings for didn't sit right with me. It's like a form of cheating (which I found out during the course of our fling thing he was in fact at one point her boyfriend, which makes him a cheater). Which is why I couldn't understand him admitting his love for her after we had JUST had sex. Like if you love her so much...why are you sitting in my car? Why did you even bother to text me? It would just be easier on me to not deal with a dude in a relationship, it would make me feel better to know that the reason you aren't spending the night isn't so you can crawl back into bed with your woman, but because you have to work early in the morning or some shit.
Anyways, he comes back to visit and he hits me up and I'm all excited cause I haven't seen him since January but alas I'm at work 2 hours away and don't have my car so I can't go see him. I was going to be back the next night tho! I hit him up when I got back, no answer. I hit him up again two days later, still no answer. I'm like tf is going on? I don't hit him up the remainder of the week, and I don't hear from him at all. Meanwhile everyone is telling me "Don't worry, you know he's gonna call you" and surprise, surprise, I don't hear from him. Then I notice his ex going off on him on twitter about him being a cheater which made me realize two things:
1. That I'm no longer a person he wants to fuck I'm just someone to fuck. Not like "I wanna have sex WITH HER right meow" more like "I wanna have sex...I guess I'll see what she's doing". Who knows how long I've been demoted to plan b...But I have no one to blame but myself. This is what I get for serving him pussy on demand and showing him I'm willing to travel two hours just to fuck him.
2. That the reason he was ignoring me more than likely because he was trying to rekindle something with his ex and not because he threw a bitch fit after I couldn't see him when he wanted. Which goes to show my blissfully oblivious ass that he isn't over her and he would rather just be with her.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I gotta draw the line at choosing up. (I know he's probably reading this since he knows I call him Happenis). I have no problem with you choosing up, and by no means do I want you to be unhappy. If going after that makes you happy, then by all means do what you gotta do! Just leave me out of the middle of it. I don't wanna be your rebound for when you're mad at her or when you're in an "off" season, just for you to leave me and go back to her after you kiss and make up. You chose up not once, but twice. So that says something about what you really want. Even tho it's just sex I like being a top priority. I don't like coming in second for shit. If I'm at the bottom of the priority list that means I'm not a true priority so you can just scratch me off. I'm sorry but the ninja kitty is no longer at your disposal 24/7, so don't ask.
And that's all I really have to say about that.
Moving right along...
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
A while back we had a mini fallout because he drunkenly told me he loved me and then told me he loved someone else two weeks later, the girl he had been on and off with for YEARS...and I knew if it ever came down to it he'd probably choose her over me in a heart beat. Two months later we "made up" aka had sex and it was all good I suppose. He told me he didn't love her anymore, and how much he tried being with her but she didn't wanna be with him (it's a bizarre-o love triangle) blah blah blah. Okay cool, now I have you, free from emotional baggage. Cause don't get me wrong, I knew I wouldn't have him to myself I knew we fucked other people, but it's just that. Fucking other people you don't really have feelings for. But just he thought of me coming in second place to someone he actually cares about, someone he has true feelings for didn't sit right with me. It's like a form of cheating (which I found out during the course of our fling thing he was in fact at one point her boyfriend, which makes him a cheater). Which is why I couldn't understand him admitting his love for her after we had JUST had sex. Like if you love her so much...why are you sitting in my car? Why did you even bother to text me? It would just be easier on me to not deal with a dude in a relationship, it would make me feel better to know that the reason you aren't spending the night isn't so you can crawl back into bed with your woman, but because you have to work early in the morning or some shit.
Anyways, he comes back to visit and he hits me up and I'm all excited cause I haven't seen him since January but alas I'm at work 2 hours away and don't have my car so I can't go see him. I was going to be back the next night tho! I hit him up when I got back, no answer. I hit him up again two days later, still no answer. I'm like tf is going on? I don't hit him up the remainder of the week, and I don't hear from him at all. Meanwhile everyone is telling me "Don't worry, you know he's gonna call you" and surprise, surprise, I don't hear from him. Then I notice his ex going off on him on twitter about him being a cheater which made me realize two things:
1. That I'm no longer a person he wants to fuck I'm just someone to fuck. Not like "I wanna have sex WITH HER right meow" more like "I wanna have sex...I guess I'll see what she's doing". Who knows how long I've been demoted to plan b...But I have no one to blame but myself. This is what I get for serving him pussy on demand and showing him I'm willing to travel two hours just to fuck him.
2. That the reason he was ignoring me more than likely because he was trying to rekindle something with his ex and not because he threw a bitch fit after I couldn't see him when he wanted. Which goes to show my blissfully oblivious ass that he isn't over her and he would rather just be with her.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I gotta draw the line at choosing up. (I know he's probably reading this since he knows I call him Happenis). I have no problem with you choosing up, and by no means do I want you to be unhappy. If going after that makes you happy, then by all means do what you gotta do! Just leave me out of the middle of it. I don't wanna be your rebound for when you're mad at her or when you're in an "off" season, just for you to leave me and go back to her after you kiss and make up. You chose up not once, but twice. So that says something about what you really want. Even tho it's just sex I like being a top priority. I don't like coming in second for shit. If I'm at the bottom of the priority list that means I'm not a true priority so you can just scratch me off. I'm sorry but the ninja kitty is no longer at your disposal 24/7, so don't ask.
And that's all I really have to say about that.
Moving right along...
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy
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