Good Sunday babes an gents. It's always nice to wake up with a smile on your face an Boz Scaggs on the radio.
Last week I got my issue a little earlier than expected, which was nice:) It was a Thursday and I was just at home chillin' and Mr. Blue Magic hits me up (I have finally settled on a nickname I like. If you don't know what Blue Magic is, then go watch American Gangster and get back to me). I love how casual our convos are:
Blue Magic: trying to get it in?
Me: Always
BM: roll through
M: on my way
BM: kk
M: come outside
We get it in in front of his house again, an this time when he asks me if I want him to finish on my face he pulls out in time. But I decided I wanted to take him in my mouth, which was a pleasant surprise for him. We sit an chat about his day, all the while I'm trying to figure out where I'm gonna spit. When he leaves I'm relieved because I had a mouth full of spit an cum, an wasn't able to talk anymore. I get home an realized I didn't wipe all the cum off my face, because I had some dried on my chin.
"Mom that's drool"
yikesss
Cut to last night.
I landscaped a few days ago, and I was a little irked that he hadn't hit me up. It seems like whenever I landscape no one is around to see it, they only come around to see me when its growing out. So I was like fuck that, I spent waaaaay too much time in the shower doing this, he is GOING to see!! I hit him up on a whim around 12. No answer. I don't know if I was mad about not getting any, or the fact that I potentially landscaped for nothing. What's a girl to do?? It was either Reader's Digest or self soothing. Welp, off to Porn Hub! About two minutes into my video around 2 am he finally answers me back. So I throw on some clothes an head out. When I get in the car he tells me that he isn't at home, but across town in West Bum Fuck. I suck my teeth an go anyways cause I want some. As I'm driving I have him texting me his whereabouts every two seconds. I can't answer cause I'm on the freeway an the roads are wet, and he's also irking me with the "where r u" texts lol. I get off the freeway and head to the cross streets he gave me, just for him to tell me he gave me the wrong ones an that I just passed him. I bust a bitch an as I'm waiting for a green light I see him take off across the street towards my car. If I didn't know any better I woulda thought I was gettin car jacked!
He hops in the car an he's like "Let's go get some food". We go to this little taco shop, and I swear I felt like I was in Little Mexico. I know the latin club had just let out so it was PACKED. He goes to order the food an I'm sittin at a table. After he orders the food he moves us to a different table.
With all his friends.
Who happen to be celebrating someone's birthday.
Remember I said I just threw on some clothes. So I'm with all these strangers looking like a ghetto rainbow, wishing I was in my backseat already. Everyone is eating and laughing and I'm just thinkin "when are we gonna leave??? I end up eating one of my two tacos an he steals a part of my other taco. His friend looks at him an is like why are you stealing people's food? He informs him "This is my girl. So it's okay" His friend asks if he paid for it an I look at him, cause I paid for it. I said "Well, he ordered it!" and he continues eating.
Once everyones finished eating an getting ready to leave he looks at me an says "Are you wet?" An I just stare at him, cause people were still around. Crazy ass.
We get into the car an he asks me if I just wanna stay on this side of town. Might as well. We're trying to find somewhere to park, and the only places hes picking have street lights. We settle on a spot and hop in the back seat. Since I watched that video beforehand I was already ready. Slid down an he instructed me to go sloooow. So I did. Up and down, he grabs my ass, picks it up an lets it go. Then he pushes me up against the front seat (we looked kinda like a V) an I start grinding on him. This is where the piercing comes in handy:) He switches an gets on top, and I'm trying to hold his shirt out the way an he just takes it off. I like naked sex better anyways lol. He's on top diggin deep, an I can't do anything but dig my nails in his back. I flip over an he tells me to get on the floor so he can hit from the back, smackin' my ass an askin me if I love his dick all the while. He should know the answer to that by now:)
This isn't workin so we get out the car, naked in some strange neighborhood. I get on all fours with my face damn near in the gutter. He's hittin all the points, but because we're outside I can't say anything. He snatches me up by my bun, making me arch my back into him. He yanks me up an grabs my throat. He has no idea what this does to me. Uuuuuuuugh. Choking, spanking, hair pulling I love it all. He stops, pulls out, rips the condom off an keeps going. Guess he didn't like the way they felt lol. I get up, dust my knees off an get back in the car. I hop on an start riding away, sucking on his neck. He returns the favor an starts sucking on my neck. The feeling of him thrusting while getting my neck sucked on at the same time way waaaay more than enough for me. That is the BEST feeling in the world, by far. I'm bouncing on his dick, and at this point I want him on top. So I get on my back an have him get on top. Legs closed, knees together, pressed against his chest he starts drilling away. One hand, two hands on my throat an I beg him not to stop. He starts thrusting harder and I start drifting away. Getting choked when you're about to come, the feeling is like taking drugs. It's an incredible high. He stops choking me an grabs my boobs really hard, and I pull his hair, massage his scalp with my freshly manicured nails. He starts grunting, which lets me know he's close. I demand that he finishes in my mouth so he pulls out and I take him in, just swirling my tongue around the tip. Once I think he's finished I pull out, an *GASP* I had no choice but to swallow.
This man is making me go against everything I believe in. Smh. Lol
I chase it with a Smirnoff Sour Apple Bite an we just lay back there catching our breaths.
BM: FUUUUCK!!
M: what?
BM: you!
M: I try:)
He slaps me on the ass an says he's ready to go when I am. I'm still trying to catch my breath. He looked at me an informed me that his dick was sore.
Look, buddy, after dealing with you I can't even properly wipe myself for DAYS. So don't tell me YOU'RE sore. You're not the one walking funny the next day.
I get dressed, an hop in the front seat. He passes out in his boxers, with his hand in em. It was cute. I took the long way home an let baby sleep, cruisin all the way there. Sippin' on my Smirnoff an listenin to the radio it was a nice little drive. When I pull up to his house he's still in a coma. I hop in the back, kiss him on the cheek an tell him we're here. I give him his stuff, an head home. I get in bed, all smiles, smellin like his cologne. Something about smelling like him puts me to sleep. Its nice.
I hope you guys have a nice turkey week:)
Here's some homework to help you burn off some of those post thanksgiving calories
FUSION
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This is how we get down in the backseat. I like it I hope you will too:)
Emailssssss tooooooo AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
Have a nice day:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Feelin' Frisky
Babes an gents, good morning and good day, depending on where you are.
I was originally gonna blog about strippers vs. their customers and who the bad guy REALLY is, double standards an all that, but then I got that phone call...well, duty calls! So I will be posting that blog another day. Right now I gotta break down last night.
Last night I spent the evening watching movies onDemand, as all my Saturday evenings seem to turn out, and I was going stir crazy. No one responded to my texts all day, FB was wack, Twitter was dead, and there weren't any movies I wanted to see onDemand that I hadn't already seen.
Just as I was about to call it a night I got a simple one word text that made my mood do a 180.
"fix?"
Fuck yeah! He told me to meet him at 1:30 but I was a little confused with the time change an all. I just figured he would call. So I hurry up an get ready, sneak out (because I have to do things like that in this house) and I swooped him up around 1:20ish. We pull up across the street from his house, and I already know the drill: lights off, hop in the backseat an hop on:)
For some reason, anytime I see him sitting there with his dick out telling me to get on, I just fucking lose it. It's great lol. What a coincidence that while I was sliding down his pole E-40's "Slidin Down The Pole" was playing in the background. He decides to help me along by grabbing my hips an pushing me down. He tells me to go slow, so up an down, around an around I go. Up almost all the way to the top, and back down. I heard nothing compares to the feeling of penetration for a man, so that would explain the slow part. As a woman, I like fast rough fucking. So I stop and let him take over.
SIDEBAR: In my past back seat action experiences, the dudes were very vanilla in comparison to him. They sit there while I ride, get on top, and/or have me get on all fours facing the door with them behind. Now, my regular, on the other hand, will prop himself up on my center console an the seat, or the head rest or w/e and start pounding away.
Which is why he's the only one allowed in my backseat:)
I'm getting tossed back and forth, and then we spin around and he gets on top. I put one leg on the back window an one leg on my seat belt and had him go at it. He stops an tells me to get out the car. I just look at him, wondering where I'm going. So I hop out the car, thinking he's just gonna stand up outside the car like last time...nope. He grabs my pajama bottoms, lays em on the ground an tells me to get down. "Trying something new tonight" New indeed. Now I've had sex outside, but not in the middle of a neighborhood! But w/e I didn't care at that point, so I got all fours, stuck my ass in the air an arched my back. He looks at my ass an bites it. I loooooove getting my ass bit on, why, idk. Don't judge me. My ass starts tingling and He's grabbing my hips an slammin me back and I see a car down the street. It turns before I even have time to react but seeing that car made me that much hornier. I'm on all fours, legs together, an he slides his hands down my thighs an pushes them apart. Okay okay, I'm diggin it. Then he grabs me by the neck an pulls me back so my head is on his shoulders. Light choking + good sex = great orgasm.
We get back in the car an continue with the rough sex. He sits in the middle seat, opens his legs wide, sits me on top an hangs my legs on the outside of his legs an man...Gents that's a g-spot stroking position right there. Take notes. He grabs my thighs an my hips an whatever else he can grab. An he grabs em hard. He gets back on top with my legs folded against his chest...
I can't even focus on this damn blog right now tryin to recap last night. Good shit.
So he's on top an I wrap my legs around his waist to pull him in deeper an I grab his shoulders to bring him down to me. Wrapping my legs around him lets me control how deep he goes. An I wanted him to hit rock bottom.
By now it is beyond fucking hot in this car, sweat drippin off his body, my car smells like warm vanilla sugar an whatever cologne he was wearing. He lays down an when I get on top I take my shirt off. (With all my piercings FINALLY back in I must say I have the cutest little torso lol) He sits up an bites me on the boob an I lay on top an start riding him. First slow, then speedin things up a lil bit. I grab him behind the neck an let him know that I do, in fact, love his penis lol...The things people say when they're having sex...smh. I spin around into reverse cowgirl an once again I perform my ass off. Finally, he sits in the middle again, I sit between his legs an lean between the two front seats an start bouncing away on his dick. That's what put him over the edge. He asked me if I wanted him to cum on my face an I said yeah, but I guess it felt so good he couldn't stop. I hop off an sit next to him, he looks at me an says:
Him: "Don't have my fucking kids."
Me: "No worries. No bastards."
He grabs my pj's an wipes himself off, I apologize for not having any wet wipes handy this time, I give him his things an he walks across the street with no pants on.
Once he's gone, I'm still laying in the backseat with my vag pounding like a migrane trying to catch my breath. He sends me a thanks text an I look at the time: 1:17. WTF?! I was trippin because I knew that it lasted quite a while, then I remembered stupid fucking daylight savings time. We got down for about an hour. Can you say one happy camper? So I sat in my car for about 10 minutes, then realized I needed to drive home because I was tired as fuck, and I couldn't just post it in front of his house. So I get dressed, and pull off. I don't even make it home an I'm pulling over to rest again. I lay in my car listening to music an he goes "Sorry if your pussy is sore" an I'm thinkin oh no, don't be sorry:) I'm hungry! Off to Carl's Jr.!
Big Carl (The actual burger this time) an fruit punch in hand, I drive home hoping no one is awake. There's no way I can explain why my once straightened hair is now on the verge of becoming an Angela Davis-esqe afro an why I smell like I just stepped out of an Old Spice commercial. Luckily no one was. Smashed on my burger, then gravity set in an my vag started hurting AGAIN. And I knocked the fuck out.
Good shit if I do say so myself. Good day SIR.
Cut to this morning. Hop in my car to go to the grocery store in the pj's I wore last night an a hoodie covering my fucked up hair. I notice that I can't find my cherry thong. And there's a men's magazine that he left in the front seat. Thank god my mom didn't steal my car cause she had just ridden (or is it rode?) in the car the night before when we went to the movies.
Pull up to the grocery store an find my undies shoved under the passenger seat. Yesss.
Then I look down at my pants. Either there was a shitload of ketchup on the ground or I rolled over a small family of frogs. I have a lot of unidentifiable red smears that weren't there when I left the night before. I expected to find a lil white stain here or there, but this is kinda freaky.
Long, yes, I know. But I also know you guys like details.
Anything you needa tell me can be directed at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
Please an Thank You.
TEASPOONS
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This is what we were doing outside, when I tried to explain how he pushed my legs out. The pic explains it waaaaaaaay better lol
Deuces.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry
I was originally gonna blog about strippers vs. their customers and who the bad guy REALLY is, double standards an all that, but then I got that phone call...well, duty calls! So I will be posting that blog another day. Right now I gotta break down last night.
Last night I spent the evening watching movies onDemand, as all my Saturday evenings seem to turn out, and I was going stir crazy. No one responded to my texts all day, FB was wack, Twitter was dead, and there weren't any movies I wanted to see onDemand that I hadn't already seen.
Just as I was about to call it a night I got a simple one word text that made my mood do a 180.
"fix?"
Fuck yeah! He told me to meet him at 1:30 but I was a little confused with the time change an all. I just figured he would call. So I hurry up an get ready, sneak out (because I have to do things like that in this house) and I swooped him up around 1:20ish. We pull up across the street from his house, and I already know the drill: lights off, hop in the backseat an hop on:)
For some reason, anytime I see him sitting there with his dick out telling me to get on, I just fucking lose it. It's great lol. What a coincidence that while I was sliding down his pole E-40's "Slidin Down The Pole" was playing in the background. He decides to help me along by grabbing my hips an pushing me down. He tells me to go slow, so up an down, around an around I go. Up almost all the way to the top, and back down. I heard nothing compares to the feeling of penetration for a man, so that would explain the slow part. As a woman, I like fast rough fucking. So I stop and let him take over.
SIDEBAR: In my past back seat action experiences, the dudes were very vanilla in comparison to him. They sit there while I ride, get on top, and/or have me get on all fours facing the door with them behind. Now, my regular, on the other hand, will prop himself up on my center console an the seat, or the head rest or w/e and start pounding away.
Which is why he's the only one allowed in my backseat:)
I'm getting tossed back and forth, and then we spin around and he gets on top. I put one leg on the back window an one leg on my seat belt and had him go at it. He stops an tells me to get out the car. I just look at him, wondering where I'm going. So I hop out the car, thinking he's just gonna stand up outside the car like last time...nope. He grabs my pajama bottoms, lays em on the ground an tells me to get down. "Trying something new tonight" New indeed. Now I've had sex outside, but not in the middle of a neighborhood! But w/e I didn't care at that point, so I got all fours, stuck my ass in the air an arched my back. He looks at my ass an bites it. I loooooove getting my ass bit on, why, idk. Don't judge me. My ass starts tingling and He's grabbing my hips an slammin me back and I see a car down the street. It turns before I even have time to react but seeing that car made me that much hornier. I'm on all fours, legs together, an he slides his hands down my thighs an pushes them apart. Okay okay, I'm diggin it. Then he grabs me by the neck an pulls me back so my head is on his shoulders. Light choking + good sex = great orgasm.
We get back in the car an continue with the rough sex. He sits in the middle seat, opens his legs wide, sits me on top an hangs my legs on the outside of his legs an man...Gents that's a g-spot stroking position right there. Take notes. He grabs my thighs an my hips an whatever else he can grab. An he grabs em hard. He gets back on top with my legs folded against his chest...
I can't even focus on this damn blog right now tryin to recap last night. Good shit.
So he's on top an I wrap my legs around his waist to pull him in deeper an I grab his shoulders to bring him down to me. Wrapping my legs around him lets me control how deep he goes. An I wanted him to hit rock bottom.
By now it is beyond fucking hot in this car, sweat drippin off his body, my car smells like warm vanilla sugar an whatever cologne he was wearing. He lays down an when I get on top I take my shirt off. (With all my piercings FINALLY back in I must say I have the cutest little torso lol) He sits up an bites me on the boob an I lay on top an start riding him. First slow, then speedin things up a lil bit. I grab him behind the neck an let him know that I do, in fact, love his penis lol...The things people say when they're having sex...smh. I spin around into reverse cowgirl an once again I perform my ass off. Finally, he sits in the middle again, I sit between his legs an lean between the two front seats an start bouncing away on his dick. That's what put him over the edge. He asked me if I wanted him to cum on my face an I said yeah, but I guess it felt so good he couldn't stop. I hop off an sit next to him, he looks at me an says:
Him: "Don't have my fucking kids."
Me: "No worries. No bastards."
He grabs my pj's an wipes himself off, I apologize for not having any wet wipes handy this time, I give him his things an he walks across the street with no pants on.
Once he's gone, I'm still laying in the backseat with my vag pounding like a migrane trying to catch my breath. He sends me a thanks text an I look at the time: 1:17. WTF?! I was trippin because I knew that it lasted quite a while, then I remembered stupid fucking daylight savings time. We got down for about an hour. Can you say one happy camper? So I sat in my car for about 10 minutes, then realized I needed to drive home because I was tired as fuck, and I couldn't just post it in front of his house. So I get dressed, and pull off. I don't even make it home an I'm pulling over to rest again. I lay in my car listening to music an he goes "Sorry if your pussy is sore" an I'm thinkin oh no, don't be sorry:) I'm hungry! Off to Carl's Jr.!
Big Carl (The actual burger this time) an fruit punch in hand, I drive home hoping no one is awake. There's no way I can explain why my once straightened hair is now on the verge of becoming an Angela Davis-esqe afro an why I smell like I just stepped out of an Old Spice commercial. Luckily no one was. Smashed on my burger, then gravity set in an my vag started hurting AGAIN. And I knocked the fuck out.
Good shit if I do say so myself. Good day SIR.
Cut to this morning. Hop in my car to go to the grocery store in the pj's I wore last night an a hoodie covering my fucked up hair. I notice that I can't find my cherry thong. And there's a men's magazine that he left in the front seat. Thank god my mom didn't steal my car cause she had just ridden (or is it rode?) in the car the night before when we went to the movies.
Pull up to the grocery store an find my undies shoved under the passenger seat. Yesss.
Then I look down at my pants. Either there was a shitload of ketchup on the ground or I rolled over a small family of frogs. I have a lot of unidentifiable red smears that weren't there when I left the night before. I expected to find a lil white stain here or there, but this is kinda freaky.
Long, yes, I know. But I also know you guys like details.
Anything you needa tell me can be directed at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
Please an Thank You.
TEASPOONS
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This is what we were doing outside, when I tried to explain how he pushed my legs out. The pic explains it waaaaaaaay better lol
Deuces.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry
Monday, November 1, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Booty Call Etiquette
Babes an gents, why I feel the need to write this blog, I have no clue. But I'm bored and sexually frustrated and have nothing better to do with my life at this moment.
My life, it consists of booty calls an random hookups, and I have no problems with it. The problem I have is when people start fucking up the game. There are certain rules both parties need to abide by, and when someone breaks a rule, they take the fun outta the whole booty call:(
So I've decided to share my knowledge, wisdom, an experience with you guys to make sure your hump days are going according to plan:)
I don't really have an order I wanna go in, so I'll just go off the top of my head.
FWB
They can be beneficial if done right. They also make the best booty calls for those who don't like the whole "stranger" thing. BUT one thing you have to remember; a close friendship is basically a relationship without the sex. So if all of a sudden your best guy bff starts looking all kinds of delicious, unless you guys get into an official relationship, proceed with caution. The feelings are already there it won't take long for someone to get attached or someone to feel screwed over. Me personally I try to stay away from close friends. In my mind the less I know about you generally tends to be better. But hey, that's just me.
FREQUENCY
People have different sex drives. It's a fact of life. And it sucks. I always seem to wind up with people who suck at sex but have a high sex drive or people who are really good at it, but they never seem to want sex as much as I do. So I come off looking like the crazed sex starved nympho. In my head i think at least twice a week is a good amount, I understand that people have lives. But sheesh! I shouldn't always be the one initiating it either. I know you get horny too so you might as well just hit me up. Cause 10 times outta 10 if you hit me up I probably want it. I feel low key like a pest when I ask for it (and I only rarely ask for it) so I tend to wait for you to hit me up. But at the same time closed mouths don't get fed, so it's like what is a girl to do in a situation like that? How do you tell someone all you wanna do is borrow their penis to suit your pleasure from time to time? I'm not tryna be clingy, I've already established you don't gotta take me to dinner, you don't gotta take me to meet your mom, none of that. Just please me and I'm a happy camper! I'll wait...
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!!
Then you gotta establish where all the fun is gonna go down. My place or yours? Outdoors? Indoors? There was this one guy who really wanted to sleep w/ me in his little sister's room. I really looked at him like he was crazy. That little girl did nothing to me! I wouldn't feel right doing that to her. Or with her life-size photo of Chris Brown staring at me. So we ended up going to the sex toy shop. And of course we got caught. That was the most embarrassing walk of shame T ever had to do. Would I do it again? Probably not. Also you guys know a pet peeve of mine is when dudes call me up, we make the proper arrangements, but then when I pick them up, they expect to do it in my car. There is only one boy I make an exception to that rule for. The rest of you fuckers are shit outta luck. I've probably had more outdoor sex than indoor sex, so I'm not opposed to it. I always feel a little weird when dudes have to sneak me in. Cause then I gotta be quiet an worry about if their parents are gonna wake up. I'd much rather prefer if no one was home. I've had sex in some crazy places, so make a suggestion, I may be open to it.
During the actual sex, I find the less eye contact the better. I know a lot of dudes find it hot when you look at them while you're giving them head. I have no problem with that. But when we kiss don't stare at me!! Same for missionary. If I feel like you're looking at me too much I will look away, close my eyes, stare at the ceiling, check the time, whatever I can to make it less awkward.
I think my best partners have been strangers, or people I don't know very well. The less I know about you, the better. Cause if it's sex first, then I know whenever I see you it's strictly business, unless you throw a monkey wrench in the plan an try to take it further.
But that never happens so no worries:)
Of course I'm not gonna just sleep with someone if I think they have potential, I'm not THAT stupid.
If my friend becomes a fwb, I tend to get annoyed quicker. Mainly because they start getting all clingy. And it's the ones who aren't even that good! If the sex is good I'm gonna take you p on every offer. If it's just ehh then I'll be passing.
Then you gotta figure out what happens next. Am I staying the night? Am I leaving? Do I wanna be there when you wake up or do I wanna take off before you wake up? These are all questions you should answer ahead of time. Certain people I'd rather not wake up to, so once they fall asleep I dip. One time I tried to sneak out and the bastard threw his arm across me so I was trapped! I moved like 1cm a minute trying to slooooooooooooooowly move his arm. Then I took off. After about half an hour later I get "So you're just gonna leave and not say bye?? that's fucked up" my response to that was "Oops." like I really gave a shit. Then there are the ones that I at least wanna wake up before I leave, generally because there's people there and I need him to make sure the coast is clear and so he can show me out lol. I just hate dealing with heavy sleepers. I gotta shake em hella hard just to get em to crack an eye open, an I know when people wake me up I'm one grouchy ass itch, and I don't know what he's like when he wakes up, so you always gotta proceed with caution.
That's another thing; when it's strictly business, please use my telephone line for business ONLY. Don't get me all excited just to say "just wanted to see how your day was going." Nice gesture, yes, but c'mon son, it's not that kinda party and you know it. Its like 911: use it when you need me, and if it's not an emergency call your local police department.
When we're texting ahead of time, please don't ask me "Do u suck dick?". Because you are hella fucking lame for that and you've just turned me off. Wait an see.
If you finish waaaaaaay ahead of schedule, don't tell me "Oh, it's been a while since I last had sex." Unless you're gonna make it up to me during round two you owe me no explanation. No sense in making things even more awkward than they already are.
Please please please, if you lose your boner, let me help you get it back. Don't go mashing your balls in my ass. That shit feels hella gross.
If you do a body shot, please be kind enough to clean up after yourself:)
STOP MASHING ON MY CLIT! IT IS NOT A DAMN JOYSTICK!!!
Wet your finger an be gentle damnit! The male equivalent to mashing my clit down is like me scraping mt teeth on your peen when I'm giving you head. If you're touching it and I grab your hands and move them, you're mashing and you need to stop.
Me personally, I don't like being fingered when I'm giving head, so unless you're smacking my ass hands to yourself and enjoy it.
I'm spent for the evening.
TURTLE
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
It's been a week exactly. I want my issue:(
Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryyy
My life, it consists of booty calls an random hookups, and I have no problems with it. The problem I have is when people start fucking up the game. There are certain rules both parties need to abide by, and when someone breaks a rule, they take the fun outta the whole booty call:(
So I've decided to share my knowledge, wisdom, an experience with you guys to make sure your hump days are going according to plan:)
I don't really have an order I wanna go in, so I'll just go off the top of my head.
FWB
They can be beneficial if done right. They also make the best booty calls for those who don't like the whole "stranger" thing. BUT one thing you have to remember; a close friendship is basically a relationship without the sex. So if all of a sudden your best guy bff starts looking all kinds of delicious, unless you guys get into an official relationship, proceed with caution. The feelings are already there it won't take long for someone to get attached or someone to feel screwed over. Me personally I try to stay away from close friends. In my mind the less I know about you generally tends to be better. But hey, that's just me.
FREQUENCY
People have different sex drives. It's a fact of life. And it sucks. I always seem to wind up with people who suck at sex but have a high sex drive or people who are really good at it, but they never seem to want sex as much as I do. So I come off looking like the crazed sex starved nympho. In my head i think at least twice a week is a good amount, I understand that people have lives. But sheesh! I shouldn't always be the one initiating it either. I know you get horny too so you might as well just hit me up. Cause 10 times outta 10 if you hit me up I probably want it. I feel low key like a pest when I ask for it (and I only rarely ask for it) so I tend to wait for you to hit me up. But at the same time closed mouths don't get fed, so it's like what is a girl to do in a situation like that? How do you tell someone all you wanna do is borrow their penis to suit your pleasure from time to time? I'm not tryna be clingy, I've already established you don't gotta take me to dinner, you don't gotta take me to meet your mom, none of that. Just please me and I'm a happy camper! I'll wait...
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!!
Then you gotta establish where all the fun is gonna go down. My place or yours? Outdoors? Indoors? There was this one guy who really wanted to sleep w/ me in his little sister's room. I really looked at him like he was crazy. That little girl did nothing to me! I wouldn't feel right doing that to her. Or with her life-size photo of Chris Brown staring at me. So we ended up going to the sex toy shop. And of course we got caught. That was the most embarrassing walk of shame T ever had to do. Would I do it again? Probably not. Also you guys know a pet peeve of mine is when dudes call me up, we make the proper arrangements, but then when I pick them up, they expect to do it in my car. There is only one boy I make an exception to that rule for. The rest of you fuckers are shit outta luck. I've probably had more outdoor sex than indoor sex, so I'm not opposed to it. I always feel a little weird when dudes have to sneak me in. Cause then I gotta be quiet an worry about if their parents are gonna wake up. I'd much rather prefer if no one was home. I've had sex in some crazy places, so make a suggestion, I may be open to it.
During the actual sex, I find the less eye contact the better. I know a lot of dudes find it hot when you look at them while you're giving them head. I have no problem with that. But when we kiss don't stare at me!! Same for missionary. If I feel like you're looking at me too much I will look away, close my eyes, stare at the ceiling, check the time, whatever I can to make it less awkward.
I think my best partners have been strangers, or people I don't know very well. The less I know about you, the better. Cause if it's sex first, then I know whenever I see you it's strictly business, unless you throw a monkey wrench in the plan an try to take it further.
But that never happens so no worries:)
Of course I'm not gonna just sleep with someone if I think they have potential, I'm not THAT stupid.
If my friend becomes a fwb, I tend to get annoyed quicker. Mainly because they start getting all clingy. And it's the ones who aren't even that good! If the sex is good I'm gonna take you p on every offer. If it's just ehh then I'll be passing.
Then you gotta figure out what happens next. Am I staying the night? Am I leaving? Do I wanna be there when you wake up or do I wanna take off before you wake up? These are all questions you should answer ahead of time. Certain people I'd rather not wake up to, so once they fall asleep I dip. One time I tried to sneak out and the bastard threw his arm across me so I was trapped! I moved like 1cm a minute trying to slooooooooooooooowly move his arm. Then I took off. After about half an hour later I get "So you're just gonna leave and not say bye?? that's fucked up" my response to that was "Oops." like I really gave a shit. Then there are the ones that I at least wanna wake up before I leave, generally because there's people there and I need him to make sure the coast is clear and so he can show me out lol. I just hate dealing with heavy sleepers. I gotta shake em hella hard just to get em to crack an eye open, an I know when people wake me up I'm one grouchy ass itch, and I don't know what he's like when he wakes up, so you always gotta proceed with caution.
That's another thing; when it's strictly business, please use my telephone line for business ONLY. Don't get me all excited just to say "just wanted to see how your day was going." Nice gesture, yes, but c'mon son, it's not that kinda party and you know it. Its like 911: use it when you need me, and if it's not an emergency call your local police department.
When we're texting ahead of time, please don't ask me "Do u suck dick?". Because you are hella fucking lame for that and you've just turned me off. Wait an see.
If you finish waaaaaaay ahead of schedule, don't tell me "Oh, it's been a while since I last had sex." Unless you're gonna make it up to me during round two you owe me no explanation. No sense in making things even more awkward than they already are.
Please please please, if you lose your boner, let me help you get it back. Don't go mashing your balls in my ass. That shit feels hella gross.
If you do a body shot, please be kind enough to clean up after yourself:)
STOP MASHING ON MY CLIT! IT IS NOT A DAMN JOYSTICK!!!
Wet your finger an be gentle damnit! The male equivalent to mashing my clit down is like me scraping mt teeth on your peen when I'm giving you head. If you're touching it and I grab your hands and move them, you're mashing and you need to stop.
Me personally, I don't like being fingered when I'm giving head, so unless you're smacking my ass hands to yourself and enjoy it.
I'm spent for the evening.
TURTLE
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
It's been a week exactly. I want my issue:(
Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryyy
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The Good, The Bad, && The Ugly
I have been debating on writing this blog for a while now. But this blog is somewhat therapeutic so I need to do it to get the stress off my chest.
My birthday.
Whatta day.
THE GOOD
Welp, my outfit was a winner.
I got off work early.
My good friends showed up.
The bitch beer was on point.
And I got birthday sex.
THE BAD
First off, only a third of the people I invited showed up, my real friends. And out of the 2/3 that didn't come, only two told me they wouldn't be able to make it. No lap dances (that I had worked so har on) were given out. Punk ass bitches. So my BM invited her friend from a tattoo shop who said he was bringing A friend. A as in SINGULAR. When I opened the front door I'm staring at 6 people. My other friends already didn't show up, ad they had a box of beer in their hands, so might as well be nice on my birthday and invite them in. One of the dudes was trying to hit on me and he just was not understanding that I wasn't having it. He sang for me. And I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. The bitch beer was not helping me in succeeding at ALL. Then as the night started to wind down he was getting ready to leave and invited me to come back to the tattoo shop. I told him I wasn't going ANYwhere, and he asked me what I was planning on doing then.
Me: Sleeping
Him: Well, you can come chill with me and we can go to sleep together.
Me: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no. That's not gonna happen. So you can take your hand off my ass now.
Then they left and it was just me and the people I actually invited.
My friend took me to get some mexican food.
And I got some birthday sex.
THE UGLY
I don't even know where to begin. Have you ever done something spontaneously and then thought, Now, why the fuck did I just do that???
I had that moment at the end of my birthday.
After all my guests had left, I decided to chill with one of my guy friends.
We were just talkin, drinkin, and chillin.
I see this guy as a brother. I care about his opinion, I don't like the thought of him thinking down on me.
We're sitting next to each other, lights dimmed. He sticks out his arm, grabs my hand and has me feel his pulse on his wrist.
Then the inside of his elbow.
Then the side of his neck.
When I reached over to feel the other side of his neck, he leaned in and kissed me.
My buzz DISAPPEARED. And my eyes got HUGE.
Because this was not suppose to happen, yet it was. I froze.
His kisses tasted fruity, like one of the Trident gums...and something in my brain said "Don't say shit."
So I didn't. Then he pulled me into his lap. And he started kissing my neck. I'm halfway enjoying it half way thinking "Is this really happening?"
I didn't think it was gonna go any further than an intense makeout session, but next thing I knew I was on the ground laying on my back with his face between my thighs.
My eyes are still big, because not only did I kiss the man, he's now giving me head, which I didn't ask for. You don't come across too many men who just dive down.
He comes up for air and I swear to you I have never seen anyone rip their pants off so fast. I mean it literally looked as if he had on breakaways, they came off so effortlessly...idk how he did it. Then my legs were on his shoulder. I'm laying here trying to enjoy myself, but there is this nagging voice in my head that isn't letting me do so. I knew he wasn't a virgin, I knew he had sex, but I could never pictured him having sex, let alone have sex with me. And he was. We were. We were doing this, no turning back. As we all know, I love being spanked. But tonight I couldn't even enjoy it because I was hoping my aunt couldn't hear. That's what I did the whole time. Thinking. I should have been enjoying myself but nooooo, my stupid left brain wasn't allowing me to do so.
He looks at me an says he wants to try something. I look at him an ask him what, and he says 69. I'm a little hesitant, because I was still getting over the fact that he just had his face buried in my goods, but I was like what the hell an hopped on. One thing I learned about him, he's a giver. And he gives FREQUENTLY.
Under normal circumstances, that would have been a birthday well spent.
And I wanted to get laid on my birthday.
But I never imagined it would turn out like that.
When it was over, I sat up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. So I laid there. And thought some more.
He got up and got dressed, I walked him to the door, and he asked me if there was going to be any weirdness between us. I assured him there wouldn't be and he kissed me goodbye.
I just kinda stood there still asking myself "Did that really just happen?"
We briefly chatted the next day like nothing happened, and that was that.
I have no problem sleeping w/ a cute guy I met at a party. The less I know about you, the better.
Sleeping with friends is difficult.
I know waaaaay more than I should about you, as do you know about me.
If you sleep with a close friend with the intention of getting together, then that's okay. You've already skipped that whole "getting to know you" phase.
I still value our friendship, but I know and he knows the next time we see each other in person it's going to be suuuuper awkward. I just hope it's not too awkward.
I just wish that the guy friends I do have that have propositioned me before don't think I'm just being a bitch when I turn em down, they just need to understand since we're already friends, it won't just be some random hook up its gonna be awkward. A friendship is like a relationship sans the intimacy. Two close friends can't have NSA sex because there were feelings there before the clothes even came off. Then if the sex is bad, you're probably never gonna wanna talk to that person again, and they're gonna wonder why you're acting all "brand new" and its a bunch of bullshit from there.
*sigh* I just hadda get that off my chest.
BOOSTER SEAT
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Just waiting til my next issue
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industyy
My birthday.
Whatta day.
THE GOOD
Welp, my outfit was a winner.
I got off work early.
My good friends showed up.
The bitch beer was on point.
And I got birthday sex.
THE BAD
First off, only a third of the people I invited showed up, my real friends. And out of the 2/3 that didn't come, only two told me they wouldn't be able to make it. No lap dances (that I had worked so har on) were given out. Punk ass bitches. So my BM invited her friend from a tattoo shop who said he was bringing A friend. A as in SINGULAR. When I opened the front door I'm staring at 6 people. My other friends already didn't show up, ad they had a box of beer in their hands, so might as well be nice on my birthday and invite them in. One of the dudes was trying to hit on me and he just was not understanding that I wasn't having it. He sang for me. And I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. The bitch beer was not helping me in succeeding at ALL. Then as the night started to wind down he was getting ready to leave and invited me to come back to the tattoo shop. I told him I wasn't going ANYwhere, and he asked me what I was planning on doing then.
Me: Sleeping
Him: Well, you can come chill with me and we can go to sleep together.
Me: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no. That's not gonna happen. So you can take your hand off my ass now.
Then they left and it was just me and the people I actually invited.
My friend took me to get some mexican food.
And I got some birthday sex.
THE UGLY
I don't even know where to begin. Have you ever done something spontaneously and then thought, Now, why the fuck did I just do that???
I had that moment at the end of my birthday.
After all my guests had left, I decided to chill with one of my guy friends.
We were just talkin, drinkin, and chillin.
I see this guy as a brother. I care about his opinion, I don't like the thought of him thinking down on me.
We're sitting next to each other, lights dimmed. He sticks out his arm, grabs my hand and has me feel his pulse on his wrist.
Then the inside of his elbow.
Then the side of his neck.
When I reached over to feel the other side of his neck, he leaned in and kissed me.
My buzz DISAPPEARED. And my eyes got HUGE.
Because this was not suppose to happen, yet it was. I froze.
His kisses tasted fruity, like one of the Trident gums...and something in my brain said "Don't say shit."
So I didn't. Then he pulled me into his lap. And he started kissing my neck. I'm halfway enjoying it half way thinking "Is this really happening?"
I didn't think it was gonna go any further than an intense makeout session, but next thing I knew I was on the ground laying on my back with his face between my thighs.
My eyes are still big, because not only did I kiss the man, he's now giving me head, which I didn't ask for. You don't come across too many men who just dive down.
He comes up for air and I swear to you I have never seen anyone rip their pants off so fast. I mean it literally looked as if he had on breakaways, they came off so effortlessly...idk how he did it. Then my legs were on his shoulder. I'm laying here trying to enjoy myself, but there is this nagging voice in my head that isn't letting me do so. I knew he wasn't a virgin, I knew he had sex, but I could never pictured him having sex, let alone have sex with me. And he was. We were. We were doing this, no turning back. As we all know, I love being spanked. But tonight I couldn't even enjoy it because I was hoping my aunt couldn't hear. That's what I did the whole time. Thinking. I should have been enjoying myself but nooooo, my stupid left brain wasn't allowing me to do so.
He looks at me an says he wants to try something. I look at him an ask him what, and he says 69. I'm a little hesitant, because I was still getting over the fact that he just had his face buried in my goods, but I was like what the hell an hopped on. One thing I learned about him, he's a giver. And he gives FREQUENTLY.
Under normal circumstances, that would have been a birthday well spent.
And I wanted to get laid on my birthday.
But I never imagined it would turn out like that.
When it was over, I sat up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. So I laid there. And thought some more.
He got up and got dressed, I walked him to the door, and he asked me if there was going to be any weirdness between us. I assured him there wouldn't be and he kissed me goodbye.
I just kinda stood there still asking myself "Did that really just happen?"
We briefly chatted the next day like nothing happened, and that was that.
I have no problem sleeping w/ a cute guy I met at a party. The less I know about you, the better.
Sleeping with friends is difficult.
I know waaaaay more than I should about you, as do you know about me.
If you sleep with a close friend with the intention of getting together, then that's okay. You've already skipped that whole "getting to know you" phase.
I still value our friendship, but I know and he knows the next time we see each other in person it's going to be suuuuper awkward. I just hope it's not too awkward.
I just wish that the guy friends I do have that have propositioned me before don't think I'm just being a bitch when I turn em down, they just need to understand since we're already friends, it won't just be some random hook up its gonna be awkward. A friendship is like a relationship sans the intimacy. Two close friends can't have NSA sex because there were feelings there before the clothes even came off. Then if the sex is bad, you're probably never gonna wanna talk to that person again, and they're gonna wonder why you're acting all "brand new" and its a bunch of bullshit from there.
*sigh* I just hadda get that off my chest.
BOOSTER SEAT
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Just waiting til my next issue
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industyy
Monday, September 27, 2010
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