Babes an gents, why I feel the need to write this blog, I have no clue. But I'm bored and sexually frustrated and have nothing better to do with my life at this moment.
My life, it consists of booty calls an random hookups, and I have no problems with it. The problem I have is when people start fucking up the game. There are certain rules both parties need to abide by, and when someone breaks a rule, they take the fun outta the whole booty call:(
So I've decided to share my knowledge, wisdom, an experience with you guys to make sure your hump days are going according to plan:)
I don't really have an order I wanna go in, so I'll just go off the top of my head.
FWB
They can be beneficial if done right. They also make the best booty calls for those who don't like the whole "stranger" thing. BUT one thing you have to remember; a close friendship is basically a relationship without the sex. So if all of a sudden your best guy bff starts looking all kinds of delicious, unless you guys get into an official relationship, proceed with caution. The feelings are already there it won't take long for someone to get attached or someone to feel screwed over. Me personally I try to stay away from close friends. In my mind the less I know about you generally tends to be better. But hey, that's just me.
FREQUENCY
People have different sex drives. It's a fact of life. And it sucks. I always seem to wind up with people who suck at sex but have a high sex drive or people who are really good at it, but they never seem to want sex as much as I do. So I come off looking like the crazed sex starved nympho. In my head i think at least twice a week is a good amount, I understand that people have lives. But sheesh! I shouldn't always be the one initiating it either. I know you get horny too so you might as well just hit me up. Cause 10 times outta 10 if you hit me up I probably want it. I feel low key like a pest when I ask for it (and I only rarely ask for it) so I tend to wait for you to hit me up. But at the same time closed mouths don't get fed, so it's like what is a girl to do in a situation like that? How do you tell someone all you wanna do is borrow their penis to suit your pleasure from time to time? I'm not tryna be clingy, I've already established you don't gotta take me to dinner, you don't gotta take me to meet your mom, none of that. Just please me and I'm a happy camper! I'll wait...
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!!
Then you gotta establish where all the fun is gonna go down. My place or yours? Outdoors? Indoors? There was this one guy who really wanted to sleep w/ me in his little sister's room. I really looked at him like he was crazy. That little girl did nothing to me! I wouldn't feel right doing that to her. Or with her life-size photo of Chris Brown staring at me. So we ended up going to the sex toy shop. And of course we got caught. That was the most embarrassing walk of shame T ever had to do. Would I do it again? Probably not. Also you guys know a pet peeve of mine is when dudes call me up, we make the proper arrangements, but then when I pick them up, they expect to do it in my car. There is only one boy I make an exception to that rule for. The rest of you fuckers are shit outta luck. I've probably had more outdoor sex than indoor sex, so I'm not opposed to it. I always feel a little weird when dudes have to sneak me in. Cause then I gotta be quiet an worry about if their parents are gonna wake up. I'd much rather prefer if no one was home. I've had sex in some crazy places, so make a suggestion, I may be open to it.
During the actual sex, I find the less eye contact the better. I know a lot of dudes find it hot when you look at them while you're giving them head. I have no problem with that. But when we kiss don't stare at me!! Same for missionary. If I feel like you're looking at me too much I will look away, close my eyes, stare at the ceiling, check the time, whatever I can to make it less awkward.
I think my best partners have been strangers, or people I don't know very well. The less I know about you, the better. Cause if it's sex first, then I know whenever I see you it's strictly business, unless you throw a monkey wrench in the plan an try to take it further.
But that never happens so no worries:)
Of course I'm not gonna just sleep with someone if I think they have potential, I'm not THAT stupid.
If my friend becomes a fwb, I tend to get annoyed quicker. Mainly because they start getting all clingy. And it's the ones who aren't even that good! If the sex is good I'm gonna take you p on every offer. If it's just ehh then I'll be passing.
Then you gotta figure out what happens next. Am I staying the night? Am I leaving? Do I wanna be there when you wake up or do I wanna take off before you wake up? These are all questions you should answer ahead of time. Certain people I'd rather not wake up to, so once they fall asleep I dip. One time I tried to sneak out and the bastard threw his arm across me so I was trapped! I moved like 1cm a minute trying to slooooooooooooooowly move his arm. Then I took off. After about half an hour later I get "So you're just gonna leave and not say bye?? that's fucked up" my response to that was "Oops." like I really gave a shit. Then there are the ones that I at least wanna wake up before I leave, generally because there's people there and I need him to make sure the coast is clear and so he can show me out lol. I just hate dealing with heavy sleepers. I gotta shake em hella hard just to get em to crack an eye open, an I know when people wake me up I'm one grouchy ass itch, and I don't know what he's like when he wakes up, so you always gotta proceed with caution.
That's another thing; when it's strictly business, please use my telephone line for business ONLY. Don't get me all excited just to say "just wanted to see how your day was going." Nice gesture, yes, but c'mon son, it's not that kinda party and you know it. Its like 911: use it when you need me, and if it's not an emergency call your local police department.
When we're texting ahead of time, please don't ask me "Do u suck dick?". Because you are hella fucking lame for that and you've just turned me off. Wait an see.
If you finish waaaaaaay ahead of schedule, don't tell me "Oh, it's been a while since I last had sex." Unless you're gonna make it up to me during round two you owe me no explanation. No sense in making things even more awkward than they already are.
Please please please, if you lose your boner, let me help you get it back. Don't go mashing your balls in my ass. That shit feels hella gross.
If you do a body shot, please be kind enough to clean up after yourself:)
STOP MASHING ON MY CLIT! IT IS NOT A DAMN JOYSTICK!!!
Wet your finger an be gentle damnit! The male equivalent to mashing my clit down is like me scraping mt teeth on your peen when I'm giving you head. If you're touching it and I grab your hands and move them, you're mashing and you need to stop.
Me personally, I don't like being fingered when I'm giving head, so unless you're smacking my ass hands to yourself and enjoy it.
I'm spent for the evening.
TURTLE
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
It's been a week exactly. I want my issue:(
Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryyy
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The Good, The Bad, && The Ugly
I have been debating on writing this blog for a while now. But this blog is somewhat therapeutic so I need to do it to get the stress off my chest.
My birthday.
Whatta day.
THE GOOD
Welp, my outfit was a winner.
I got off work early.
My good friends showed up.
The bitch beer was on point.
And I got birthday sex.
THE BAD
First off, only a third of the people I invited showed up, my real friends. And out of the 2/3 that didn't come, only two told me they wouldn't be able to make it. No lap dances (that I had worked so har on) were given out. Punk ass bitches. So my BM invited her friend from a tattoo shop who said he was bringing A friend. A as in SINGULAR. When I opened the front door I'm staring at 6 people. My other friends already didn't show up, ad they had a box of beer in their hands, so might as well be nice on my birthday and invite them in. One of the dudes was trying to hit on me and he just was not understanding that I wasn't having it. He sang for me. And I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. The bitch beer was not helping me in succeeding at ALL. Then as the night started to wind down he was getting ready to leave and invited me to come back to the tattoo shop. I told him I wasn't going ANYwhere, and he asked me what I was planning on doing then.
Me: Sleeping
Him: Well, you can come chill with me and we can go to sleep together.
Me: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no. That's not gonna happen. So you can take your hand off my ass now.
Then they left and it was just me and the people I actually invited.
My friend took me to get some mexican food.
And I got some birthday sex.
THE UGLY
I don't even know where to begin. Have you ever done something spontaneously and then thought, Now, why the fuck did I just do that???
I had that moment at the end of my birthday.
After all my guests had left, I decided to chill with one of my guy friends.
We were just talkin, drinkin, and chillin.
I see this guy as a brother. I care about his opinion, I don't like the thought of him thinking down on me.
We're sitting next to each other, lights dimmed. He sticks out his arm, grabs my hand and has me feel his pulse on his wrist.
Then the inside of his elbow.
Then the side of his neck.
When I reached over to feel the other side of his neck, he leaned in and kissed me.
My buzz DISAPPEARED. And my eyes got HUGE.
Because this was not suppose to happen, yet it was. I froze.
His kisses tasted fruity, like one of the Trident gums...and something in my brain said "Don't say shit."
So I didn't. Then he pulled me into his lap. And he started kissing my neck. I'm halfway enjoying it half way thinking "Is this really happening?"
I didn't think it was gonna go any further than an intense makeout session, but next thing I knew I was on the ground laying on my back with his face between my thighs.
My eyes are still big, because not only did I kiss the man, he's now giving me head, which I didn't ask for. You don't come across too many men who just dive down.
He comes up for air and I swear to you I have never seen anyone rip their pants off so fast. I mean it literally looked as if he had on breakaways, they came off so effortlessly...idk how he did it. Then my legs were on his shoulder. I'm laying here trying to enjoy myself, but there is this nagging voice in my head that isn't letting me do so. I knew he wasn't a virgin, I knew he had sex, but I could never pictured him having sex, let alone have sex with me. And he was. We were. We were doing this, no turning back. As we all know, I love being spanked. But tonight I couldn't even enjoy it because I was hoping my aunt couldn't hear. That's what I did the whole time. Thinking. I should have been enjoying myself but nooooo, my stupid left brain wasn't allowing me to do so.
He looks at me an says he wants to try something. I look at him an ask him what, and he says 69. I'm a little hesitant, because I was still getting over the fact that he just had his face buried in my goods, but I was like what the hell an hopped on. One thing I learned about him, he's a giver. And he gives FREQUENTLY.
Under normal circumstances, that would have been a birthday well spent.
And I wanted to get laid on my birthday.
But I never imagined it would turn out like that.
When it was over, I sat up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. So I laid there. And thought some more.
He got up and got dressed, I walked him to the door, and he asked me if there was going to be any weirdness between us. I assured him there wouldn't be and he kissed me goodbye.
I just kinda stood there still asking myself "Did that really just happen?"
We briefly chatted the next day like nothing happened, and that was that.
I have no problem sleeping w/ a cute guy I met at a party. The less I know about you, the better.
Sleeping with friends is difficult.
I know waaaaay more than I should about you, as do you know about me.
If you sleep with a close friend with the intention of getting together, then that's okay. You've already skipped that whole "getting to know you" phase.
I still value our friendship, but I know and he knows the next time we see each other in person it's going to be suuuuper awkward. I just hope it's not too awkward.
I just wish that the guy friends I do have that have propositioned me before don't think I'm just being a bitch when I turn em down, they just need to understand since we're already friends, it won't just be some random hook up its gonna be awkward. A friendship is like a relationship sans the intimacy. Two close friends can't have NSA sex because there were feelings there before the clothes even came off. Then if the sex is bad, you're probably never gonna wanna talk to that person again, and they're gonna wonder why you're acting all "brand new" and its a bunch of bullshit from there.
*sigh* I just hadda get that off my chest.
BOOSTER SEAT
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Just waiting til my next issue
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industyy
My birthday.
Whatta day.
THE GOOD
Welp, my outfit was a winner.
I got off work early.
My good friends showed up.
The bitch beer was on point.
And I got birthday sex.
THE BAD
First off, only a third of the people I invited showed up, my real friends. And out of the 2/3 that didn't come, only two told me they wouldn't be able to make it. No lap dances (that I had worked so har on) were given out. Punk ass bitches. So my BM invited her friend from a tattoo shop who said he was bringing A friend. A as in SINGULAR. When I opened the front door I'm staring at 6 people. My other friends already didn't show up, ad they had a box of beer in their hands, so might as well be nice on my birthday and invite them in. One of the dudes was trying to hit on me and he just was not understanding that I wasn't having it. He sang for me. And I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. The bitch beer was not helping me in succeeding at ALL. Then as the night started to wind down he was getting ready to leave and invited me to come back to the tattoo shop. I told him I wasn't going ANYwhere, and he asked me what I was planning on doing then.
Me: Sleeping
Him: Well, you can come chill with me and we can go to sleep together.
Me: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no. That's not gonna happen. So you can take your hand off my ass now.
Then they left and it was just me and the people I actually invited.
My friend took me to get some mexican food.
And I got some birthday sex.
THE UGLY
I don't even know where to begin. Have you ever done something spontaneously and then thought, Now, why the fuck did I just do that???
I had that moment at the end of my birthday.
After all my guests had left, I decided to chill with one of my guy friends.
We were just talkin, drinkin, and chillin.
I see this guy as a brother. I care about his opinion, I don't like the thought of him thinking down on me.
We're sitting next to each other, lights dimmed. He sticks out his arm, grabs my hand and has me feel his pulse on his wrist.
Then the inside of his elbow.
Then the side of his neck.
When I reached over to feel the other side of his neck, he leaned in and kissed me.
My buzz DISAPPEARED. And my eyes got HUGE.
Because this was not suppose to happen, yet it was. I froze.
His kisses tasted fruity, like one of the Trident gums...and something in my brain said "Don't say shit."
So I didn't. Then he pulled me into his lap. And he started kissing my neck. I'm halfway enjoying it half way thinking "Is this really happening?"
I didn't think it was gonna go any further than an intense makeout session, but next thing I knew I was on the ground laying on my back with his face between my thighs.
My eyes are still big, because not only did I kiss the man, he's now giving me head, which I didn't ask for. You don't come across too many men who just dive down.
He comes up for air and I swear to you I have never seen anyone rip their pants off so fast. I mean it literally looked as if he had on breakaways, they came off so effortlessly...idk how he did it. Then my legs were on his shoulder. I'm laying here trying to enjoy myself, but there is this nagging voice in my head that isn't letting me do so. I knew he wasn't a virgin, I knew he had sex, but I could never pictured him having sex, let alone have sex with me. And he was. We were. We were doing this, no turning back. As we all know, I love being spanked. But tonight I couldn't even enjoy it because I was hoping my aunt couldn't hear. That's what I did the whole time. Thinking. I should have been enjoying myself but nooooo, my stupid left brain wasn't allowing me to do so.
He looks at me an says he wants to try something. I look at him an ask him what, and he says 69. I'm a little hesitant, because I was still getting over the fact that he just had his face buried in my goods, but I was like what the hell an hopped on. One thing I learned about him, he's a giver. And he gives FREQUENTLY.
Under normal circumstances, that would have been a birthday well spent.
And I wanted to get laid on my birthday.
But I never imagined it would turn out like that.
When it was over, I sat up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. So I laid there. And thought some more.
He got up and got dressed, I walked him to the door, and he asked me if there was going to be any weirdness between us. I assured him there wouldn't be and he kissed me goodbye.
I just kinda stood there still asking myself "Did that really just happen?"
We briefly chatted the next day like nothing happened, and that was that.
I have no problem sleeping w/ a cute guy I met at a party. The less I know about you, the better.
Sleeping with friends is difficult.
I know waaaaay more than I should about you, as do you know about me.
If you sleep with a close friend with the intention of getting together, then that's okay. You've already skipped that whole "getting to know you" phase.
I still value our friendship, but I know and he knows the next time we see each other in person it's going to be suuuuper awkward. I just hope it's not too awkward.
I just wish that the guy friends I do have that have propositioned me before don't think I'm just being a bitch when I turn em down, they just need to understand since we're already friends, it won't just be some random hook up its gonna be awkward. A friendship is like a relationship sans the intimacy. Two close friends can't have NSA sex because there were feelings there before the clothes even came off. Then if the sex is bad, you're probably never gonna wanna talk to that person again, and they're gonna wonder why you're acting all "brand new" and its a bunch of bullshit from there.
*sigh* I just hadda get that off my chest.
BOOSTER SEAT
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Just waiting til my next issue
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industyy
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
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