Sorry if this blog doesn't make sense or seeming hella all over the place. I just need to vent some shit. So there won't be any steamy or funny sex stories but you are free to continue to read into the inner workings of my mind. Lol
Took a mini hiatus but I'm bored so I thought I'd blog. A bunch of shit has been happening and my life low key feels like its in shambles. But whatever. Those wondering about Happenis I think he needed some "Me" time. Or whatever. So for the time being (or maybe forever) he is not around. But enough about that.
Puss In Boots made a random ass appearance. He wanted me to come visit him when I was in town and I did...and everything was...different. I don't know if it's because he's no longer my friends roommate and the bald headed cock blocking ass bitch is no longer a problem or if its something else but it just wasn't fun anymore. Just kinda like...Just get behind me and hurry up. I don't want any eye contact whatsoever. Which is sad because we had fun sex. I even shotgunned a bowl with him and it didn't help. I was more concerned with making it to work on time that night. After that little detour I made it a point not to hit him up anymore or make any out of the way visits. Same with the Gummy Bear Dude. I didn't even make it all the way thru before tapping out. I couldn't do it! And I haven't slept with him since the summer. I'm just so over having to fake it all the fucking time. And I have gotten really good at faking it. Sad. Facial expressions, back arches, breathing, the whole nine. I just wanna be with the one person I never have to fake it with lol. I'm a good person. I deserve good sex in return damnit! It's like every time I step out on a good thing some bad shit goes down and I'm just left scratching my head like whaa..? But at the same time I have no choice BUT to step out. I'm really left with no options. Which sucks. Because I have these awesome pot brownies courtesy of an angel named Kitty that make me extremely horny ad I'd like to not waste them on bogus ass sex. THC just takes mind blowing sex to on the verge of dying of ecstasy sex. I'm over here rationing them like I'm actually about to get good sex lol when it's been over a month now. If anything does happen they'll probably be spoiled by then.
I've had prospects but none that genuinely pique my interest. It feels hopeless. "Oh but there are soooo many other penises in the sea" I know this and a bitch isn't trying to go thru all of them to find one.
Now, there is ONE that I'm interested in tho, the situation is just highly complicated. His name? El Capitan. He was my adorable old boss, but not anymore! I'd always joke with the girls that he'd better not let me catch him in a dark hallway alone, otherwise I'd ambush him. I work in a sexually charged environment so he'd always flirt back with me too. Only problem is, he has a girlfriend. And because of that I never did anything TOO over the top, out of a kind of respect for their "institution". But there was just sooooo much sexual tension between us. Now that he isn't my boss anymore, that was one less issue to worry about. I's still text him every now and then to see how life was after the club and he seemed to be doing just fine. The conversation soon turned sexual (as it always tends to) but this time instead of him asking about my sex life with other people we got into my potential sex life with him. He's known I've been attracted to him for the longest and he hits me up with the ol' "Well why didn't you speak up sooner? cause maybe I wanted you too..." I reminded him he had a girlfriend and it wasn't really my place to be telling him and he was just like so..? Apparently he's in a "cookie drought" and he was telling me all the things he wanted to do to me if we were to ever be alone together. SCORE. Is it bad that I still want to sleep with him knowing he has a girlfriend? Yes. Do I care? No. Why should I? If he's the one that's supposed to be in love and he doesn't, I won't either. He's the one who has to live with the fuck up, not me. Anyways towards the end of the convo his answers became really short and I figured he was starting to bitch out. WTFAAAAAAACK.
I'm really picky when it comes to cheating. Me being the SINGLE person I am it doesn't bother me too much because I am single and will do whatever the fuck I please. The one thing I DON'T like is when a dude will lie about being in a relationship and I find out. Because you didn't give me the option as to whether I wanted to go thru with it. I'd like to know ahead of time so I can be like "Hmm...is it gonna be worth it (to me)?" There are also the dudes that I barely know exist but I know about their relationships and they try to be sneaky by being in my DM or FB inbox. That shit just works my everlasting nerves. I know this probably makes no sense to you but in my head it makes perfect sense. I think the problem with that is because I don't know them, I have no sexual tension with them and I probably don't even find them attractive. Which makes it not okay in my box. Stay with me here. A lot of those guys are lucky I'm not too much into childish behavior or I'd be screenshotting the fuck out their ain't shit asses. Just don't come at me wrong on the wrong day tho. You have been warned.
But back to El Capitan that shit just pissed me off because I told him at the beginning I didn't want to admit to anything because it wouldn't make a difference since he had a girl. But he insisted with the dirty talk so I just followed suit. I don't know what happened at the end of the convo but it sounded to me like he was getting guilty already and I haven't even seen him in person in weeks. I hate people that get guilty on me. Either you're gonna go thru with it or you're not but don't bitch out half way thru. Just a waste of unlimited text messages. One of my coworkers thinks he's just gonna wait for the right moment when he's alone to finish what he started but I'm not so sure. We shall see I guess.
At work this gorgeous Armenian lady with nice boobs came in and got a lap dance from me. She told me she'd never cheat on her husband but that she would just LOVE to be with a girl. And I almost let her take me home. Almost. Boy, what a blog that would've been.
Idk if I'm just lonely r if it's because cuffing season is in full effect out here, but sleeping alone sucks. I like having a body next to me, even if there isn't any sex or cuddling involved. Ah hell.
I have a lot more to write about, but I'm just gonna wait it out before I say anything stupid. Ha, Happenis stole my happy and my penis. How funny.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy