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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Summertime, Summertime

Hello my lovely babes and gents. I know I have missed the official first day of summer, but lemme tell you its been hotter than the devil's ass crack out here. Then the other day it rained. WTF? Fucking with sexy time...smh.

Speaking of sexy time, summertime makes me extra friskaaay. I've already got a list of places I wanna christen before my boobs put me outta commission for a couple weeks. There's a mini airport/air strip thingie by my house.Three's a lot of people who own private planes and whatnot and thats what they use for takeoff and landing. I wanna ride him THERE. Obviously not smack dab in the middle of the runway, even tho i rarely see planes landing at night and I'm PREEEEETTY sure I'd see the lights of the plane before they landed but W/E. There's an area off to the side where I wanna get busy tho LOL. The only good thing about it being hotter than the devil's ass crack during the day is it feels soooo good at night and that makes all this stuff possible. Hmm...as far as the river goes...well we rarely have sex during the day, like I used to take the Pizza Man early in the morning or late in the afternoon...idk how I would feel about going down there in pitch blackness. There's snakes and critters and wolves and homeless people and dead bodies ( swear I'm not overexaggerating - I watch the news and I hear the damn coyotes or wolves or w/e the fuck those thing are at night LOL) Nope. Not gon happen...There is always the mountains tho...my stupid cock blacking ass friend took me and a friend up there one time to check out a view of the city and the whole time I was thinking, I wanna fuck someone out here. EWEWEW then after we dropped off our other friend at her car (I drove) he tried to make a move on me AGAIN (same dude from my birthday *gag* ick ick ICK!!!) thank GOD my friend's were blowing up my phone that night. Saved by the damn bell. Then of course he tried to blame it on the al-al-al-al-al-alcohol the next night (yeah fucking right) and I just made a mental note to myself to never be alone with him when he's "drunk". Aside from his creepiness, the sky is sooo clear up there, you can see all the stars...my main concern is its on a sloped driveway in front of a metal gate. I'm afraid if I have sex on the hood of my car or even in the backseat that some way or another the thrusting is gonna make my brakes fail or something and my car is gonna roll away! My best bet would be to take my wedge pillow and a blanket with me and get it in next to the car. Or in front cause every now and then a car will drive by and drive super slow like they're tryna see whats going on. My paranoid ass always thinks its a cop but I figure, if I'm having sex, that feeling of almost getting caught will make the sex better.

One of my biggest problems with my city is that everything is hella flat. We have no hills or anything. Just flatness. Most buildings aren't more than 2 stories high, IF THAT. I wanna have sex on the top of a parking structure. Still trying to find a good one of those to do it on...Ooooh!!! My cousin has this fat ass house in the boonies with a pool and a hot tub...and she's only there every other week (she works outta town) and she lets us use her pool during the summertime when it gets hot so...ughhhh I wanna have sex in the pool too. Maybe even the hot tub if the weather permits. I've never had sex in water so that will be a first...Speaking of water, I wanna have sex in my shower. I just need to get SOMEone on board for it...shouldn't be too hard tho;)

Lets see...am I forgetting anything..? Aaah yes. A late night showing to ANY movie. Me and a coworker went to like a late LATE night showing of Black Swan and there were only like four people there. I like the challenge of trying to make him cum without making any noise or drawing attention to us. Which if you know its gonna be a challenge cause i likes my sex rough and loud. I just wanna see if we can get away with it...

I've got 28 days til boobies to get this list going. Let's see where it takes me...

FIRE HYDRANT

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Oooh la la!! I had a dream that I was trying to show him I learned how to clap my ass on his lap (thank you work) and instead he licked my ass and bit it. mmm...

I know hump day was yesterday but don't let that stop you!
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

(GO FOLLOW MY TUMBLR DAMMIT!)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Yeah About That...

How are my lovelies doing on the first day of summer? Let me tell you it's 107 damn degrees outside and I'm indoors suuuuper duper sleepy. Might as well blog while I'm doing nothing...

And for those that don't follow my tumblr, someone *cough cough* got some act right before the end of the month so...for those looking forward to dig deeper into the insanity known as my sex life I apologize lol. But in order to keep him happy I have to respect his wishes=/ But don't worry, I got some fun stuff to share with y'all.

UPDATE ON THE BOOB ADVENCHAAAA
The date is officially scheduled. I have pre-op on the 26th (of july) and surgery the next morning. I'll decide my final size then. In the meantime I need to bust my ass at the club so I'll have a financial cushion while I'm doing nothing...OMGOMGOMG this is really happening! Yay me. I may start a vlog next month documenting my life pre/post op.

Mkay on to the topic for today.
SO there was this guy right. Great guy. Slightly older than me and had his head on straight. Perfect. Attractive...Bought me dinner...real respectable. Chatted for bit, convo turned to sex (he found out about my blog) and although the convo was mainly about sex we didn't hint at sex with each other. Cool. Mmm the night I met him I told myself I wasn't gonna sleep with him cause I didn't want him to think some type of way about me. Thankfully God decided to spare me and I started spotting (which has always been MIA since I started depo when I was 17). You could imagine my surprise to see my quarterly visitor. He picks me up and we drive to his house and we're telling each other about ourselves and whatnot. Once inside we were just lounging around watching my favorite movie Death At A Funeral (Chris Rock version please) and vibing...next thing I know he whips out his dick. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in front of him and I told him I wasn't gonna look at his dick because I wasn't gonna fuck him. But I ended up looking anyways and this is where the whole balls up/top down view comes into play. His dick looked HUMONGOUS. I was all excited but then I stopped myself because remember, I'm not sleeping with this man. We spooned a bit while we watched TV, he gave me an massage and it was AMAZEBALLS, nothing like that sorry ass excuse of a massage that last idiot tried to give me. Before I knew it he was sucking on my neck and ay yi yi holy mother of jesus...He starts licking my nips and my ears which was fucking fantastic, that is until he tried to stick his tongue IN my ear. Bite on my earlobe yes, taste my ear drum NO. Kneeling in front of me with this massive erection he gives me this look like "Its your call". Damnit damnit damnit. So I run of to the bathroom to tidy up and get ready for the festivities. I start off with a lil oral an I notice he's got a lil precum...ick...*gag* I've only experienced that with two people...and its nasty all the way around. He reaches over to his pants and pulls out a condom and we get tings started.

Then it was over. He's tellin me he either usually doesn't finish that fast, doesn't finish with a condom, or some shit I can't exactly remember. And I'm just thinkin' yeah...okay...Tellin me my shit was super wet an I'm chuckling to myself like you don't saaaaaay.

Him: You on your period?
Me: No (partial truth)
Him: oh cause there blood on the condom
Me: oh...it was hurting a lil but I didn't think too much of it...

Preeeeeety sure I have mastered the art of faking it...

I figured I'd give him another shot tho...We ended up getting a room next time...and it didn't get any better. I know how I like my sex. I like it rough. Hair pulling, choking, spanking. I should wake up with various bruises in pain. But he was more concerned about going too hard and breaking me. I hate when guys tell me that shit. At times it would feel good, then he would slow it up and I would lose my groove completely. He would tell me that I kept "drying up" on him...well no fucking shit! When I am not aroused that tends to happen...While he's thinking he's killing my shit I'm just waiting for him to bust so I can go to sleep. Yes at certain points it DID feel good but then you would fuck it up and do something else that didn't feel good at all. He finally finished and he looked at me and asked me how many times did I cum. I just looked at him and got dressed. Don't ask me questions you don't want the answers to. But then again sometimes I shouldn't look like I'm enjoying it more than I actually am...false pretenses...After that I was just done...
He would hit me up telling me he missed me and if I missed him. Whenever he would ask me if I missed him I would low key feel uncomfortable, like if someone said I love you before you were ready to say it back...sometimes I would laugh or say yes just to make him happy. Cause to be quite honest I didn't know the man long enough nor was the sex good enough to make me miss him. His favorite line "Text me when you miss me." ICK. If I listened to you I would never have texted you back EVER. The texts started becoming less frequent, so instead of texting me 10 times a day it became once or twice. And even when he did hit me up there wasn't any butterflies, I didn't get wet...it was just like texting anyone else. Then my work schedule started conflicting with when he wanted to hang out so I'm sure he thought I was just lying and blowing him off, when in all actuality I was happy to have a legit reason to not hang out with him without having to lie. But it is what it is. He wasn't gonna be sticking around for long anyways so it wasn't like I was gonna be devastated trying to figure out where my next issue was gonna come from. Just kinda fizzled each other out. SO yeah...

But we all know how my sex life turned out;) No losses here.

Now that I got THAT out the way, next blog will be about my awkward encounter with a couple strangers at the adult store with my work spouse. Fucking nut jobs I tell you. All I wanted to do was buy some hand cuffs and lube but noo...

RODEO

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Let me see you work that, Twurk that, serve that c'mon and do the rodeo
Let me see you bounce that, move that, do that let me see you do the rodeo


Batter up, Face down, Ass up.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Why Me?!

Hmm ha okay. Welcome Drought of 2011. Let me just start off by saying you really aren't welcome round these here parts. Don't get too comfy either. We don't take to kindly to your kind...

Let's see here...its the 10th...so I'm guessing I have about 20ish more days until I can finally spill EVERYTHING that I've been biting my tongue about. And maybe get my shit back on track...

Anyways the point of today's blog...I think my vagina may be doomed in the near future. Oh and BTW I have finally settled on a name I like. From this point on I shall call her GiGi. And she shall be my GiGi. Like I was saying, GiGi may be doomed. She's being a picky bitch right now and no one seems good enough! Remember the nerdy security guard from my job? The one I was all excited out corrupting? Well after spending a couple days with him...umm not so much.

I travel out of town to dance, and one day we were texting and he asked me how long I was gonna stay out there. I told him a couple days if I found somewhere to stay and he offered to let me stay there when I came down. Schweet thats 100 bucks in my pocket. So I drive out there and work my shift, and I follow him home. I get to his house and he has the cutest overweight dog I've ever seen...but I'm suuuper tired I had been up since 6:30 that day. He makes me a pizza and the whole time his mom is spazzing out about burning it (she's such a sweetheart). Meanwhile I'm dozing off on the couch trying not to be a rude house guest. He brings me pizza and some tea and I'm munching away and watching some movie then its time to retreat to the room. He cleaned up his sister's room all nice for me, made sure I was comfortable asked me if I needed any blankets, and then left me to get ready. Well I haven't met his sister but I love the bitch because she had spongebob and body piercing pamphlets all over her walls! I knock out at about 5...and at 9:34 sharp I hear a knock on the door. Its the security guard (I need a nickname for him!!!) with breakfast. Toast, eggs, and milk. Well.........its the thought that counts right? Although the eggs weren't seasoned an a lil burnt, and he put a ton of jelly on my toast (I hate jelly) and I don't think the milk was whole milk (I can taste the difference) it was a sweet gesture, albeit at 9 in the fucking morning. Fortunately I was too tired to eat and he let me sleep some. I was supposed to work a double at the club and decided to go shopping instead. It's nice having that kind of freedom:) We spent the day on his motorcycle.

STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES!!! omg so this was my first time on the back of a motorcycle and let me tell you...GiGi's ol' hot to trot ass didn't know how to act!!! Every time he revved the engine it would make my VCH vibrate and I just felt like I was gonna let go and pass out every time he did it. I'm pretty sure he had no idea what was going on back there lol. He has a street bike w/o a bitch seat so I had to it on GiGi instead of my ass. Bad idea. I had to keep sitting on my ass to avoid having an orgasm on his bike. But anywhore, carry on...

I dragged him to two different malls while I went into any store with bright lights and anything shiny. While I was in the dressing room trying on pants he was telling me how he had never been shopping with a girl before...which I thought was weird cause I remember him telling me once upon a time ago he had one...but I disregarded it. Later that night I had to be the DD at work cause some of the girls went and did a promo event at a local club and came back WASTED. My manager was too drunk to drive and he wanted Denny's so I got to drive the company van. Denny's + loud drunk strippers = no bueno. The whole time we were talking about sex lol and this couple behind us looked disgusted. Well exCUSE the fuck outta me! I was disgusted with them for having a baby who couldn't have been more than 6 months out an about at 3:30 in the gad damn morning! Anyways my manager called out the security guard as a virgin and I looked at him and thought hmm...Never been shopping with a girl...openly likes dragon ball z and anime stuff...loves collecting ninja swords...maybe! Also...earlier that night he texted me a blank text and seconds later, in all caps "OMG I JUST SAW YOU ONSTAGE!!!I AM SPEECHLESS!!!" They're not supposed to watch us when they come in on break and I couldn't figure out why he was so excited and I was only topless at that point. Hmm...

Back at his house he came and stayed in the room with me. I figured since he had already seen me semi naked he wouldn't mind me changing in front of him. And then I got in bed he turned the lights off and we just talked for a while...and then he left. Wtf?? The next morning I heard his sister come in "DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER IN MY BED??" "*nervous laugh* no..." "Oh, well, I wanna meet her!!" but too bad I went back to sleep lol. He came in and we talked some more, I asked him why he left me alone and he said he didn't thinkI wanted him in there. Then we took a nap. I woke up and headed to work. A few hours later he texted me:

SG: "Can I ask you something?"
ME: "Go for it"
SG: "Should I have made a move last night??"

Hunny if you have to ask...you probably should've. Cut to a couple days later. I just HAD to know if he was a virgin. So I asked...and he told me no...But he lost his virginity last year...and that was the last and only time he had sex. *cue slide whistle* oh no. Oh nononononononono. "yeah lol im kinda inexperienced" NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!! Why must god play these cruel jokes on me?! He told me it was with his ex and it sucked

ME: "What made it so bad"
SG: "She didn't finish and I made her cum like 3 times lol"

1st off...I felt some type of way when he said he made her cum like 3 times...I was a tad grossed out...Only certain people are allowed to say cum and only in certain contexts. That wasn't one of them. Secondly...WTF?

ME: "Wait what?? How did she not finish?'
SG: "She didn't make me cum"
*ick*
ME: "Then YOU didn't finish.."

For everyone telling me he could be a blessing in disguise and that I can mold him and whatnot, FUCK YOU! GiGi is too damn impatient to be tryna train some penis to be everything she wants it to be! Who knows how long that could take?! I'd rather not have sex at all than have bad sex. I just ant someone who's gonna fuck me like I wanna be fucked and not be concerned with hurting or "breaking" me. Shit if I asked to be choked, then DO IT. If I say grab he harder, DO IT. You're no gonna break me, I think I know what I'm doing. *side eye*...anyways back to the topic at hand...I mean he's a cutie but what if he has a small penis?! I can't train that! What if I don't mask my disappointment accordingly?! I don't wanna hurt his feelings he's so nice...And I'll be straight up I'm not gonna fake the shit either. Since he's only had sex one other time he can view me as his teacher. "Try harder next time" "We'll work on THAT" It could potentially be good...but I'm not willing to risk it. We can just be cool...he has a crush on another girl too which they probably have more in common anyways *tear* I always feel a lil sad when I find out someone who used to have a crush on me doesn't have one anymore or likes someone else regardless if I liked them or not.
Anyways, this man is not my boyfriend therefore I don't feel its my responsibility to train him lol he needs a little more work experience then he can try to reapply when he updates his resume;)

LOTUS

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com
I've never been a fan of these positions where you're in close proximity...little room to move around. I like those hard long strokes lol

Geez...I bought some lube an love cuffs the other night...and they're just staring at me all sad like "use usssssss" (thats another story in itself...fucking weirdos cruising for ass at 5 in the morning. next blog fer sureee)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy