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Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Big Stripper Orgy! Kinda...

hay hay hay. I told myself I would at least write one more post before 2012 is over. So next on the list is my reunion with Sexsomniac. He's been coming in so clutch lately. Like he has helped me in my lil situation more than he knows.
Speaking of which, I still haven't spoken to the antichrist, he seems pretty content with his current situation and I can't be too mad at that...For the most part after the initial shock and borderline depression it has been a lot easier than I would've expected. But then again I think the only way I'm managing to stay sane are the edibles that just make me not give a flying fuckotash about anything. But shit I'm not hurting anyone so whatever works. I'm just waiting for the day I can't even stand the thought of being back with him.

But anyhoe...let me tell you about what went down the night I hung out with Sexsomniac. So it was Thanksgiving vacation and my friend was in town. Sexsomniac hit me up and asked me if I wanted to kick it with him. I honestly can't even remember the last time we had actually had sex but hey. Why not? It was a Sunday night and I wasn't doing shit anyways. When I got the hotel I got off the elevator and I just remember seeing these two big girls following me. I heard one of them ask "It's room 302 right?" and I'm thinking, wait, I"M going to room I power booked it down the hall to the room. When I get there my friend, Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap and the Mexican Breast Feeder were there plus some white guy I had never seen before in my life. I asked them if they invited any other girls and they just stared at me. Soon enough the big chicks opened the door and asked where the bathroom was so they could get ready. As soon as they shut the bathroom door Sexsomniac stepped into the hallway and I just pointed and silent laughed at everyone in the room. The Mexican Breast Feeder started to look at me and I was like "Oh hell no. I was summoned on pleasure not business fuck you guys I'm gonna enjoy the show." Idk why they always call these stripping companies to pay for bean poles and whales when they have *me* on call. They know what I look like already! But I digress.
The girls come out of the bathroom in their tacky ass lingerie and I can't help but think one of the girls looks familiar. After doing some questioning I found out I knew her from high school. She was a year older than me. We shall call her...Peggy. And her friend can be...Shelly. So Shelly looks around the room and asks who's gonna go first. Nobody moved, nobody said shit. I volunteered Mr. Dunlap since it was his birthday. The look he gave me = priceless. So the girls start hopping into laps...and because they're slightly on the bigger side they never get completely naked. They leave their lingerie top things around their waists. The Mexican Breast Feeder asks me if I would join the ladies in performing and Shelley chimes in and says she would love to see my boobs cause she likes girls. Um. No. Ma'am. I told her she was working and I wasn't gonna impose on her money. Oh I almost forgot to add we were listening to music off Shelley's phone with that ridiculous ass Boom Cube thing. This entire night was just getting more ratchet by the second. Peggy suggests that they start the private shows and she and the white boy head off to the bathroom. As they walked past me I was wondering if he noticed or even cared about the big ass herpe looking sore on her ass cheek. After they go in I noticed the Mexican Breast Feeder and Sexsomniac had both called me and I was confused because we were in the same room. I asked why they called me and they were like "Well you said no one called you to come work., so we were calling you now." Too late bitches lol. Shelley asks if we wanna see some dollar tricks. Okay, now you have my attention. Wtf is a dollar trick? You tip her a few dollars and she'll pick it up with her cooch. I had to see this so I ponied up some ones from the boys and gave em to her. She folded them in half hot dog style, put them on Mr. Dunlap's stomach, and she made sure to tell me "you gotta be a little wet first" and she crouched down and picked the shit up. Money is DIRTY AS FUCK. Okay? And you're picking up that dirty shit. With your PUSS. I know your cooch is absolute trash cause you clearly don't treat it with respect. I won't even take a dollar out a customer's mouth with my mouth, let alone my cooch. But whatever will pay your bills get it how you live pymp.
Peggy comes out the bathroom to see her partner getting tips and she says "Well anyone got a 5?" I'm like what are you gonna do with a 5? She says she'll roll it up and stick it up her butt. I think I'll pass. Then she says she can do a beer bottle trick for 20. Now this I HAVE to see. I pony up some more money from the boys and she's like she needs a clean beer bottle. She picks one up to go clean it and Shelley says "I wouldn't fuck a girl who knows how to do a beer bottle trick. Everyone just stares at the white guy and he puts his cowboy hat back on and doesn't say shit else for the rest of the night. She comes back in the room and all this lazy bitch did was fuck herself with it! Trick my ass!!! Shelley and Mr. Dunlap head off into the bathroom next and Peggy is just do I do with myself. She gives a few more lap dances and sees Sexsomiac with a Shocktop. She's like omg is that a Shocktop can I have some? He stares at the bottle, then back at her and tells her she can just have it. She's like no I just want a taste and he's like no really, you can keep it. She takes a drink and tries to give it back and he stares at it like it's covered in AIDS. He Sends em a sad text saying "I really wanted that Shocktop, it was the last one:(" I tell him to just wash it off and he's like fuck no. Oh well. Lol. I look at the time cause I'm like these bitches have been here a long ass time so I ask Peggy how long these shows are supposed to be and she's like shiiiiit we went waaaay over time. She gets dressed, rolls a blunt, and asks if anyone cares to join her she'll be outside. Nobody went to join her. Before she left I asked if she was taking her friend with her and she's like "Oh. She's a big girl she knows when the show is over." Then I asked if she was gonna take her swtuff and she was like "I don't touch anything that ain't mine" and left. I knocked on the door like 4 times to let Shelley know her time was up, that her partner left and that her stuff was still here. she comes out the bathroom dressed, pissed her partner left her and when I said she left her stuff cause she didn't wanna touch it she was like "Pfft, yeah right." Damn.
After the girls left I cornered the white guy and asked him what happened.  He would only touch his cowboy hat and not say shit. All I could get him to admit to was that he fingered her MAYBE a little bit. Mr. Dunlap on the other hand was not shy at all "YEAH I FUCKED HER. And she sucked the shit outta my balls while she jacked me off. And I would've put it in her butt if my legs weren't shaking so much." These are the people I hang out with. I'm thinking if she did that with you guys, who else have they done it with. That's why I keep my bougie ass in the clubs and out the hotel rooms. Mr. Dunlap paid me 50 bucks for a topless lap dance but thank god he told me it felt "weird". Cause I didn't wanna do the shit anyways. Then he squished his fat ass body on me and Sexsomniac with all his BBW stripper sweat juice on us and I felt so dirty. He's a bitch for that. Gross. After he left the Mexican Breast Feeder kept trying to have a threesome with me and Sexsomniac claiming they were so close that one time like a year ago. Bitch please. Go sit in a corner I DON'T WANT YOU! After a few failed attempts he finally left and me and Sexsomniac were sitting on the floor and he kept touching the inside of my thigh. Finally.

I'll save the actual sex part for the next blog. FYI shower sex is only halfway what it's cracked up to be. Shits dangerous af.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

It Was The Worst Of Times...

If YOU'RE reading this, you know you no longer have any business to keep checking up on me. So if you don't like what I'm saying, tough titty.

I can barely remember what started this whole stupid conversation but all of a sudden it was like a complete 180. Like I just fucked you 6 times tonight AND bought you tacos I think I was on my best behavior! This entire bullshit started because of a comment I made 2 FUCKING FEBRUARIES AGO! Basically his friend told me he was a good guy and needed someone to tie him down. All I said was that I wouldn't mind him being my boyfriend but I don't think he's looking to date me. And the friend randomly brought it up a few days before. And the shit was weighing heavy on him since then or something. I don't know that doesn't sound like a bad comment to me! He starts going on about how he wants me to know this is never going anywhere (nothing too new) but then he decides to tell me WHY. And he gave me a million and one reasons about why I'd be a horrible girlfriend. Mind you I'm high on brownies so I'm barely processing what's going on. Not being able to say what I wanted sucked. But this was how I was feeling.

"Our foundation wasn't strong to begin with, it's unstable"
Okay yeah I know I fucked you when I met you, but honestly I don't thin k neither one of us saw this shit lasting as long as it did. And that shouldn't really mean shit NOW, but whatever.If the foundation was so unstable you know what people in construction do? They START OVER. Yeah I fucked you that night but remember I didn't fuck myself! Fuck the whole "well I'm the guy I'm supposed to try to sleep with you you're not always supposed to let me." You can also keep it in your pants too. That makes you no better in the foundation building process.

"You fuck every guy you meet you have like a constant rotation of guys. I know I read your blog."
Idk why this was even an issue when he has a steady rotation of other bitches he fucks too. Like I can't even count on my hand the number of bitches he fucked when he moved, not to mention he fucked that bitch the weekend I was staying at his house. When I think about the guys I slept with and I think about that bullshit he pulled I think mine was the lesser of the two evils.I never told him to his face about other guys, and I let him know the only reason I still fucked other people was because he wasn't always around. Like wtf do you expect me to do? Be monogamous to someone who clearly isn't being it himself? You're gonna get yours and I'm gonna get mine. And for him to accuse me of sleeping with every guy that shit is laughable because if he knew anything he'd know his dick has made me VERY picky. I refuse to settle for less when it comes to sex. I'd rather have no sex than bad sex, hence the 6 month drought before I met him. But he'll continue to think what he wants.

"How do we tell our grandkids how we met? That's not something we can tell them."
First off, why are you thinking about GRANDKIDS?!?!?! We just skipped our own huh...And the answer is you tell them the truth: I met you thru a mutual friend in the parking lot of liquor king. I don't see a problem with that. Of course you leave the sex out, but when you're talking to kids you leave sex out regardless so....I don't see the issue here.BUT it's apparent to me that you HAVE considered what a future with me would be like. Noted.

"Why would you drive 5 hours to go visit someone? Just to go visit."
OMG. He will NOT let this shit go!!! Idk how many times I have to tell him that I didn't sleep with someone I consider to be a brother. And not "brother" like some of you bitches say where you fuck on the under. Like actual almost blood brother. The idea of even seeing him naked in a sexual manner turns my stomach. But he has it in his head that I already did it, which probably explains why he fucked that bitch in the next room over when I was there. I didn't sleep with him end of discussion.

"I don't know anything about you. You never talk to me."
Only because YOU made me feel that way! I felt like I could never just be like "hey what's up" or anything for fear of getting ignored. Although very low it still feels like a form of rejection to me so I just choose not to do it. The few times early on I did try to invite you to come out with our mutual friends you'd always say no, so I just stopped asking. You don't know anything about me because you CHOOSE not to. Just as easily as I could've talked to you you could've said hi to me too. At least that way I would know it wasn't taboo to hit you up for only sex. And I never talk to you because I felt if I did you would think "Oh, this girl is catching feelings" when that wouldn't be the case all the times. Humans communicate when there's an issue, something we never did until shit hit the fan. We had no regular communication. When you say "I know when you're mad because you get really quiet" you still would'nt ask what was wrong, and I felt we had that emotional disconnect so I come here to vent and say the things I want. Speaking of which:

"Why didn't you stop blogging about me when I asked? Some of the things I read I'm like, 'Oh, this is what she was thinking at that moment?' And some of the stuff you say is kind of hurtful."
 Okay apparently this blog is another roadblock. I did stop blogging about him for a while, usually just a one line mention to let everyone know we were still seeing each other, but there wouldn't be full blogs dedicated to him. But then after a while I thought, damn I have nothing to write about. And how dare someone who isn't my boyfriend ask me to stop doing something I was doing before I met them? If he wanted to be my boyfriend and expressed his dislike for it I would've fully taken it into consideration out of respect for my relationship. But when you tell me you only want a casual hookup then you have no say in what I choose to do in my spare time. And if you guys have been following me a long time you know that 98% of the time everything I have to say about him is nothing short of stellar. The only times I would say "bad" things is when he would start acting stupid. But I've never tried to tear down his character on purpose simply because I like him too much.

"And then you strip every weekend for disgusting ass men. How do you ever expect a man to take you serious?"
There are plenty of guys who are mature and that do. You are the one with the issue. Me dancing was never a problem when I would treat you to lunch was it? If dancing was something that you had trouble with we should've talked about it, and not in a "Oh, if you wanna marry a Mexican you gotta stop dancing." Just tell me YOU don't like it. Smh and to think I was actually considering not doing it anymore so I could be more available for him. Glad I didn't. Once again if you were thinking about dating me and it was an issue then you should've spoken up instead of being all jealous. I dance naked yeah but that's it. I don't meet up with these guys after and fuck them I just fucking dance. But like I said when you say  you only want a casual hookup why should my job even matter? Noted.

"Trying to date you now would just be weird. I can't see myself calling you up and being like 'Hey, lemme take you to dinner'"
Well, that's not my fault. I don't see how us going to dinner is any different than us going to Tito's and hanging out and talking.

"You only use me for sex. You've hit me up for sex before. Like you get so mad when I don't fuck you."
HAH!!!!!!!!!! Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing? You don't wanna date me so why should I act like I want you for anything else? Sir, The number of times I've asked you for sex over the last two years I can probably count on my hand. They nowhere near add up to the amount you've hit me up for it. How are you gonna tell me "It's just sex" and then get mad at me for only hitting you up when I want sex? Sorry that I like your dick a lot.

"Why haven't you had a boyfriend? I feel like you're holding out for me or something when it's not going to happen."
So because I've never told you "Oh hey I have a boyfriend now we have to stop this" it means I'm holding out for you? Okay. There have been other guys I've actually been interested in dating sans the sex and it just never works out. Why? I don't know but it wasn't because you were in the back of my head. Because why would I choose someone who doesn't want to bring me around his friends over someone who would? That makes no sense.

"I just don't wanna lead you on because I've been hurt before I got cheated on...blah blah blah."
Oh you got cheated on huh? That was around the time I remember you told me you loved another girl. As you sat in my car having a post sex cigarette. Sounds like cheating to me. And why do you care so much about whether you're gonna hurt me or not (even though this entire conversation is killing me). Someone who doesn't have feelings for me wouldn't give two shits. And you think NOW, two years later is a good time to be like "I should probably speak up about my intentions." Cause there is no way in hell I could like you after all this time? Okay. Why does something I said two years ago matter now?! Noted.

"There may have been times when I tried to act all romantic but it just isn't going to work."
That makes no sense. But okay.

"You're just a sex addict like you want sex all the time."
When has this ever been an issue?! Okay yeah, I like having sex a lot but what does that have to do with anything? If you were my boyfriend I'd obviously want to do more than just fuck you all the time. But you aren't. And the sex happens to be amazing. Sorry for wanting to have amazing sex with you all the time.

"Like honestly, I wrote you off the night I met you and you fucked me."
If that was the case, if you wrote me off two years ago why are we still doing this? If you already decided you didn't want to ever be with me then why do you give two shits about whether I only use you for sex or whatever it is you think I do? I mean I'm not an idiot, I wasn't born yesterday. I didn't expect us to get together, get married and start popping out kids in the house with the white picket fence. I never tried to pressure you into making me  your girlfriend. I kinda knew this was only going to be fun sex but you flipped all this shit and made it unfun. It's like knowing there's a dead body in the next room over. You know it's there but you're smart enough not to go open the door and see it. You just keep going on about your business with that dead body in the back of your mind. Well, you fucking kicked down the door and held my eyes open and made me look at it. You don't wanna be with me, fine. But why do you want to have this conversation now?! What the fuck did I do to piss you off that night? He brought up that he thought it was cool that I would listen to him talk about his goals and dreams or whatever may have been on his mind. Yeah, I did that shit because I was genuinely interested and like hearing you talk about things you're passionate about. For you to just genuinely be as hurtful as possible. If you had no feelings for me we shouldn't even be having this conversation.

The night basically ended with me asking him what this means, if he doesn't want to see me anymore. He said no that's not what it means, and that we've had "epic sex" and it's been fun and whatnot. SO. I guess my pussy is the only thing that kept you coming back all these years? That's a warning to the guys I haven't met yet. Watch out for my killa cocaine cooch. You'll be addicted after one dose. I was barely processing what was going on the entire night because I was under the influence of that stupid brownie. He said he just wanted to tell me he doesn't wanna date me and he's sorry that this turned into a big thing. I couldn't even look at him. Half because I didn't want to, half because the tears were stinging my eyes. We've argued before, but this time felt different. I've never cried before but this conversation was hurting me and I couldn't figure why. He asked me to walk to the door with him and I'm thinking for what? After all that shit you think I should still keep doing shit for you, no matter how small. I don't even know what the fuck I was feeling, I just wanted to vanish into nothingness. I went home and cried.
I cried like a little bitch.
I woke up the next morning and decided to go to work. I cried the entire way there.
At work I was a mess. I had a customer ask me how my day was going and I had to look away because I felt my eyes burning and that lump in my throat again.
I feel my eyes burning again as I write this.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I fell for a very charming asshole with good dick.
Even though he said he didn't wanna stop seeing me I haven't heard from him since.
And that was on October 13th.
I figured I'd give him space, and waited about a month before I reached out to him.
I didn't get a response.
Guess he found someone else though. My friend called me and told me the things she was seeing on his twitter and how a picture of him and his girl was posted 3 days before I hit him up.
I don't allow myself to care much for this very reason. I never check his fb, twitter, instagram or anything because you don't look under a rock and get mad when you find dirt. Still didn't make it any easier.
Here we are in December now and nothing's changed. Every day it gets easier but there are those times when it really sucks.

So from what I've gathered I'm a sex addicted whore of a stripper who wants nothing more in life than to fuck millions of people. Or something to that effect. Noted. My whole take on the night honestly was that he started to catch feelings but since I'm not the "ideal" girlfriend model for him, he basically had to go thru an entire laundry lists of reasons about why it wouldn't work. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to "inform" and "protect my feelings". Judging me by the shit I do as a single person doesn't reflect the type of person I'd be as a girlfriend. You'll never know what type of girlfriend I'd be unless you gave it a shot. Which you refuse to do. You never know the outcome of anything until you try. But hey, it is what it is. I hope you find what you're looking for.

"That moment when you want them to care as much as you find yourself caring, you then realize that they might not ever! Afraid to move on, leaving a small window of possibility, as you sit near it looking out!"
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Monday, December 3, 2012

It Was The Best Of Times...

Well for those that are wondering, everything basically went to shit with Happenis. He is onto...other things while I'm basically back at square one. But whatever. It is what it is. So lemme just set the scene for you guys. Sorry for those of you that liked him because after this you might not. Hell, I'm not even sure most of the time. The end of a fucking era man.

I work just about every weekend a million miles away. And just like clockwork Happenis tends to hit me up on the weekends. When I'm gone. But on occasion I'd accommodate his drinking schedule by staying for the weekend or whatever. So he hits me up one Friday night asking where I'm at and I tell him I'm gone and he goes on about how I'm always gone when he's on point and when am I coming back. He tells me if when I come back if I get him drunk he'll be on for the entire night. I tell him I may even take a winter vacation from work if he's good and he sent me a huge smiley. Now, let's forget I had JUST gotten to work which is 4 HOURS away. I had stars in my eyes thinking about what the next night had in store for me. I didn't even stay in town for a full 24 hours before I was back on the freeway headed home. He had a friend who thought my friend was cute so we were going to do a double not date date thing that night. I get home, wash my hair, shower, do my makeup, I had been waxed earlier that week, everything was right. I had on a body hugging sweater dress on, leggings, knee high boots...I looked fucking amazing. So I picked him and his friend (the "threesome" dude that I still don't particularly care for but have let much of my animosity subside) up and we went to a party. When we stopped for gas and booze, he started eating the snickers I bought earlier. Bitch. But when I said something he fed me a bite. Which was nice. On the way to the party "Flash" by Iggy Azalea came on and when she goes "This pussy's yours baby, this pussy's yours baby" his friend pipes up and says "Awww this sounds like you guys" and out of nowhere he gets all defensive "What? No it doesn't! This could describe anyone." Like seriously dude chill.

Round One.
When we pulled up I was getting ready to get out the car and he grabs me by the wrist and tells me to let our friends go on ahead and get acquainted. I was just trying to get my weed brownie. He climbs in the backseat and I end up getting out the car to get into the back. He wants to fool around for a little bit and while we were really close to the house and completely obvious I was still game. I blew him for a little bit just as a teaser and when he said "Okay that's enough" I'm thinking time to party. No, he meant no more bj time for sex. I figure might as well. Started with me on top and then we switched. He slunk down in the middle seat and I sat on top facing the front of the car. I was getting cramped so I opened the sun roof and popped my head out. Then I head laughing and "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn". So I went back into the car and he told me stop being obvious. Instead I lay on my stomach across the seats with my ass in the air and he lies on top of me. Nice. Too many cars kept driving by so we decided to wrap it up and go inside.
As soon as I got to the house the first word out my friend's mouth is "WHORE!" So much for trying to be secretive lol. Before I could even enjoy myself I had to make a beer run and when I came back my girlfriends were leaving! I guess while I was gone Happenis got himself into a little bit of shit with the owner of the house. Can't take him nowhere.

Round Two.
He drags me on to the balcony where he proceeds to take one of his epic hour long pisses and I'm embarrased because there's someone ELSE who lives below the balcony. He's basically pissing on their doorstep. And since it's falling from a million feet above it's loud as shit. Ugh! When he finishes he grabs my ass and I'm like oooooooh no, not here! He's like were young, and having public spontaneous sex keeps things interesting. First he tries to bend me over the ledge. That lasted about two seconds before his friend stepped onto the balcony. After some I told you so's and I can't's his friend agrees to stand guard. We move to the stairs and since I have on leggings tucked into my boots I was basically immobile. I ended up just keeping my feet together and I sat on him. Everything was going great.
Until the back door opened.
And it was NOT his friend.
In fact, I had no clue who this dude was. And he just stared at us. Mind you my entire ass is out and his pants are by his ankles. After a fucking eternity I just said "Sup" and he turned and went back inside. Then I heard all the cheers. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life. The people that were throwing the party I love partying with them but I don't know if we were at the stage where I could just show up at the house with a stranger and have sex in their back yard.

Round Three.
I refused to go back inside and he gets all mad like "Well wtf do you wanna do? Just stay outside??" We walk downstairs towards the alley and he stops me and pulls my leggings down. AGAIN? Oh, okay you convinced me. He gives me his sweater to put my knees on so I'm back outside with my ass in the air and one boot on with my leggings flapping to the side. We tried to be quiet, but even with me being quiet that didn't stop our bodies from giving it away. Since I wasn't facing the house he saw whoever was outside first, pushed me down and told me to be quiet and all I hear is "Give her a sec..." I'm like shut up don't say that!!! Now everyone knows I've been having sex all night. Perf.

Round Four.
After I get myself together (again) we start walking down the alley. Around this point my brownie starts hitting. I can't remember exactly what we talked about, but towards the end of the alley there was a lot with a car. I know the drill by now: face down, ass up. Weed makes sex sooooo much fun. We made a makeshift pallet with my boots and his sweater. I laid on my back and propped myself up on my elbows. He grabbed me by the ankles and it felt so good I just said to hell with my clean hair and laid all the way back. I got back on my knees and he started pulling out. He kept saying "Tell me how you want it.....tell me." He knows how I like it he just likes hearing me say it. Sir, fuck me good, fuck me long, fuck me numb. Fucking great. Sir, spank me please. Sir, choke me just a little bit. I just remember thinking this shit is perfect. He finished and said "I think I came in you a little bit." Good thing I'm on birth control. And I trust you. HAH!!!!! (More on that later tho).

Round Five.
As I put my leggings and boots back on he wants to have sex again. Seriously?! What has gotten into this man? I'm not complaining tho. I'm enjoying this shit. I can never get enough of his disco stick. NEVER. He's back behind me, my face is basically in the gravel I got rocks and shit in my mouth (ICK). I noticed his hat fell off so I put it on and I swear he grabbed the bill of the hat and went harder. This time he asked for my face and I let him finish in my mouth. Still sucking and making eye contact while he came I knew he loved that shit. And my eye makeup made my eyes look really pretty too. Double win. I get dressed for the time being and we're walking and he tells me when I put his hat on he was like "Oh fuck. It was a turn on it was like I was fucking myself." Um. Okay. Lol. We walk and talk about me remembering his birthday and him never remembering mine even tho we're only 5 days apart. Before I grew the balls to finally go inside the house to retrieve my stuff he tells me he appreciates me and the things I do for him and for me to know he isn't trying to use me. Awww. His friend is gone so we decide to hit up Titos for tacos. And I order him his California burrito just the way he likes: no onion, add beans and rice, sour cream and guac and no green salsa, only red. Plus extra limes. And a horchata. We sit in the parking lot and he asks me if I could change one thing in my life big or small what would it be. The first thing I wanted to say was I kinda wish I had never slept with you the night we met. Like maybe then things could've been different. But then I think if my tire hadn't blown out that night and I went home would he even be bothered with wanting to see me again or if it would've been like "Oh this cute girl came to a party at my house" and that was that. But I have always felt that I can't show THAT side of me because he has constantly reiterated that he doesn't wanna be my boyfriend. So why not keep the mushy shit to myself and continue to have the best sex ever? I lied and said some fuck shit about my biological father and he nodded and said "Oh okay. Wow that's deep". I keep wondering what would've happened had I said what was originally on my mind.

Round Six.
I got ready to drop him off and when I grabbed something out of my purse he noticed the bottle of lube I had. So when I pulled up it was back to the backseat. I don't think I've ever had intense sex like that IN MY LIFE. gay and corny romantic love novel-ish as it may sound the feeling of pleasure was so intense I thought my head was going to explode and I was going to spontaneously combust.  I climbed on top of him and put my feet on the seat and held on to his neck while he fucked me. I came about three times. After having sex all night my vag was hurting like A LOT even with the lube. I tried to quit because every time he slipped out and had to stick it back it hurt. He sensed my discomfort and would just ram the shit back in saying "You're always saying I don't fuck you enough huh? Don't try to quit now. Don't you EVER tell me I don't fuck you enough." Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I won't do it againmmmmmmmmufhajufhdafcjuisoayfujsaynfucjola. I came about three times that night. He finally wore himself out and we agreed to call it a night.

He put his pants on.
Got out the car.
Then all hell broke loose.

Miss Sixxxty, your very lonely freak of the industryy

Monday, November 12, 2012

Random Shit.

 Sorry if this blog doesn't make sense or seeming  hella all over the place. I just need to vent some shit. So there won't be any steamy or funny sex stories but you are free to continue to read into the inner workings of my mind. Lol

Took a mini hiatus but I'm bored so I thought I'd blog. A bunch of shit has been happening and my life low key feels like its in shambles. But whatever. Those wondering about Happenis I think he needed some "Me" time. Or whatever. So for the time being (or maybe forever) he is not around. But enough about that.

Puss In Boots made a random ass appearance. He wanted me to come visit him when I was in town and I did...and everything was...different. I don't know if it's because he's no longer my friends roommate and the bald headed cock blocking ass bitch is no longer a problem or if its something else but it just wasn't fun anymore. Just kinda like...Just get behind me and hurry up. I don't want any eye contact whatsoever. Which is sad because we had fun sex. I even shotgunned a bowl with him and it didn't help. I was more concerned with making it to work on time that night. After that little detour I made it a point not to hit him up anymore or make any out of the way visits. Same with the Gummy Bear Dude. I didn't even make it all the way thru before tapping out. I couldn't do it! And I haven't slept with him since the summer. I'm just so over having to fake it all the fucking time. And I have gotten really good at faking it. Sad. Facial expressions, back arches, breathing, the whole nine. I just wanna be with the one person I never have to fake it with lol. I'm a good person. I deserve good sex in return damnit! It's like every time I step out on a good thing some bad shit goes down and I'm just left scratching my head like whaa..? But at the same time I have no choice BUT to step out. I'm really left with no options. Which sucks. Because I have these awesome pot brownies courtesy of an angel named Kitty that make me extremely horny ad I'd like to not waste them on bogus ass sex. THC just takes mind blowing sex to on the verge of dying of ecstasy sex. I'm over here rationing them like I'm actually about to get good sex lol when it's been over a month now. If anything does happen they'll probably be spoiled by then.
I've had prospects but none that genuinely pique my interest. It feels hopeless. "Oh but there are soooo many other penises in the sea" I know this and a bitch isn't trying to go thru all of them to find one.

Now, there is ONE that I'm interested in tho, the situation is just highly complicated. His name? El Capitan. He was my adorable old boss, but not anymore! I'd always joke with the girls that he'd better not let me catch him in a dark hallway alone, otherwise I'd ambush him. I work in a sexually charged environment so he'd always flirt back with me too. Only problem is, he has a girlfriend. And because of that I never did anything TOO over the top, out of a kind of respect for their "institution". But there was just sooooo much sexual tension between us. Now that he isn't my boss anymore, that was one less issue to worry about. I's still text him every now and then to see how life was after the club and he seemed to be doing just fine. The conversation soon turned sexual (as it always tends to) but this time instead of him asking about my sex life with other people we got into my potential sex life with him. He's known I've been attracted to him for the longest and he hits me up with the ol' "Well why didn't you speak up sooner? cause maybe I wanted you too..." I reminded him he had a girlfriend and it wasn't really my place to be telling him and he was just like so..? Apparently he's in a "cookie drought" and he was telling me all the things he wanted to do to me if we were to ever be alone together. SCORE. Is it bad that I still want to sleep with him knowing he has a girlfriend? Yes. Do I care? No. Why should I? If he's the one that's supposed to be in love and he doesn't, I won't either. He's the one who has to live with the fuck up, not me. Anyways towards the end of the convo his answers became really short and I figured he was starting to bitch out. WTFAAAAAAACK.
I'm really picky when it comes to cheating. Me being the SINGLE person I am it doesn't bother me too much because I am single and will do whatever the fuck I please. The one thing I DON'T like is when a dude will lie about being in a relationship and I find out. Because you didn't give me the option as to whether I wanted to go thru with it. I'd like to know ahead of time so I can be like " it gonna be worth it (to me)?" There are also the dudes that I barely know exist but I know about their relationships and they try to be sneaky by being in my DM or FB inbox. That shit just works my everlasting nerves. I know this probably makes no sense to you but in my head it makes perfect sense. I think the problem with that is because I don't know them, I have no sexual tension with them and I probably don't even find them attractive. Which makes it not okay in my box. Stay with me here. A lot of those guys are lucky I'm not too much into childish behavior or I'd be screenshotting the fuck out their ain't shit asses. Just don't come at me wrong on the wrong day tho. You have been warned.
But back to El Capitan that shit just pissed me off because I told him at the beginning I didn't want to admit to anything because it wouldn't make a difference since he had a girl. But he insisted with the dirty talk so I just followed suit. I don't know what happened at the end of the convo but it sounded to me like he was getting guilty already and I haven't even seen him in person in weeks. I hate people that get guilty on me. Either you're gonna go thru with it or you're not but don't bitch out half way thru. Just a waste of unlimited text messages. One of my coworkers thinks he's just gonna wait for the right moment when he's alone to finish what he started but I'm not so sure. We shall see I guess.

At work this gorgeous Armenian lady with nice boobs came in and got a lap dance from me. She told me she'd never cheat on her husband but that she would just LOVE to be with a girl. And I almost let her take me home. Almost. Boy, what a blog that would've been.

Idk if I'm just lonely r if it's because cuffing season is in full effect out here, but sleeping alone sucks. I like having a body next to me, even if there isn't any sex or cuddling involved. Ah hell.

I have a lot more to write about, but I'm just gonna wait it out before I say anything stupid. Ha, Happenis stole my happy and my penis. How funny.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Friday, October 5, 2012

Shit Happenis Says

Hayy y'all. It's now been two years since I first started banging the fuck out of Happenis...or rather he's been banging the shit out of me. Thru all the good sex and bad sex, trivial fights and even ER visits, we still manage to keep things going. And since he's usually drunk he's usually spewing out the most ridiculous comments. And I figure I'd share them with you:)

"I feel like you're waling around with 15 of my kids inside you" (words after sex)

"See? I have personality. There's more to me than just my big cock."

Me: Are you hungry?
Him: Yeah, if robertitos and my cock are on your mind

Him: Are you mad at me?
Me: no. (yes)
Him: your a bitch.
Me: why because I'm irritated?!?!
*Couple hours later*
Him: Are you done being mad?
Me: I still a bitch?
Him: Nope.
Me: then no.
Him: kk come over

Him: wanna?
Me: aaaaaaahhh!!! I'm on the road!
Him: how far
Me: mmm like an hour
Him: Nvm
*throws phone across car*
*an hour later*
Him: kk come get me

A normal convo between us:
Him: fix?
Me: yeah.
Him: come
Him: kk
Me: outside
Him: kk

*First ER visit*
Me: You ripped me a new one.
Him: Oops. weird lol
Me: yes and kinda painful lol
Him: Welcome lol
Me: I had to explain it to 6 different people last night
Him: "I was getting beasted and couldn't handle it. *sigh*"
Me: oh whateverrrrr that was all you lol
Him: I beasted you
Me: No you stabbed me lol
Me: cheap shot
Me: Killer instincts my ass

Him: Man if pole dancing's a art you know how many fucking artists I know?
Me: one
Him: one

Him: bomb pussy. no babies!
Me: thank you. bomb dick.
Him: I mean it! No babies.

"You piss me off a thousand times a month, I swear. But I still fucking love you."

*waves fingers in my face*
Him: My fingers were in you. This is what you smell like
*blows air in his face*
Me: That's what YOU smell like.

"You want my cock soooo's gonna cost you though. I don't do any black friday deals"

"Sorry if your pussy is sore. No fucking babies"

Him: Where are you going?
Me: To clean up the mess you made. I'm messy.
Him: you really need to stop peeing on yourself.
Me: shut. up.

"I don't want you to think I'm saying this just because you write about me or because I'm coming down from being drunk, but your blog is really good, you're good at writing and telling a story."

Him: Just grab it
Me: No! I'm not gonna get you hard. I'm driving! And you're not about to attack me.
Him: I won't get hard and you only have to shift until you get into what, like 3rd gear? Just touch it. I won't get hard.
*grabs it*
Me: I thought you said you weren't gonna get hard!
Him: I mean you ARE touching my dick what did you expect?

Him: I think I came inside you
Me: what else is new?
Him: what do you mean?
Me: lol you do it all the time!
Him: dude stand up I don't want you having my babies
Me: lol then start pulling out
Him: how am I supposed to and you're laying there screaming my name telling me not to stop?

"You gotta understand from a guy's point of view though. Sending a girl to the ER cause she couldn't handle it is hilarious. I'm not gonna be like 'Oh, are you alright? Is your pussy okay?' I'm gonna laugh."

"You get so mad when I don't fuck you for 2 hours. Guess I've just set the standard too high for myself."

"Sometimes I just get into beast mode and fuck for four hours. I remember I fucked you for like three and you started complaining about your pussy hurting. It wasn't THAT bad."

"I don't want you having my babies ok, but if we had kids they'd have big dicks and big asses"

"You're welcome"

*during sex*
"Oh you called other guys tonight before you called me huh? You tryna see other guys? Go ahead answer it. Pick that shit up" 

"Look. I have a hundred dollar bill in my room. I'm gonna go to the bank and cash it for singles. Then the next time we fuck while I'm fucking you doggy style I'm gonna be slapping your ass and I'm gonna make it rain on your back saying 'Alright alright alright you gon learn today'. And we're gonna get it all on camera"

Him: What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT.
Me: Whaaaaat? What what?
Him: Are you on your fucking period dude?
Me: What? No I don't even get a period I'm on the shot *grabs fingers* you don't even have blood on your fingers what are you talking about?
Him: What is THAT *tugs on string* feels like a tampon are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: Oh god yeah I forgot that was there................
Him: Why are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: It's complicated!!
Him: You seriously just made my boner disappear.

*hacks my facebook*
"My vagina feels amazing"
"Hello my name is 'Loves Happenis's cock: )"

It's never a dull moment with this dude. One time we recorded us in my backseat and when we went to get tacos he just starts watching it while we're in line. -_______-. But he's pretty dope in the sack if I do say so myself so...yeah. Lol.

Dick so good - give up your facebook password, tell all your high school jump offs to stop calling you (seriously this time), cooking sunday style dinners on wednesday just cause that's "y'all" day to chill, and let him hit right after leaving the salon! -Anonymous
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Oh Happenis...

FINALLY. I actually have some damn time to sit here and write about the telenovela drama known as Happenis and I. I've gotten so lazy when it comes to writing about him and i have no clue why. Especially since everyone likes him so much (when he isn't being an ass).
Basically what happened was our sex life hit a speed bump. He had stopped drinking, and as we all know we can only have (good) sex when he's drunk. So The night I dressed up in the school girl outfit he came over, fucked me for a little bit, then watched Gulliver's Travels (that movie is funny as fuck idgaf what ANYONE says) and he refused to fuck me again so I made him leave. The next time I saw him he fucked em in his bang bus rapist van (he has a car now!) and once again it wasn't that long. I was so confused as to what the fuck was going on. This was so unlike him! The next time I saw him it literally lasted five minutes and I was PISSED. Halfway thru I noticed he was slowing down which meant he was about to cum but he wasn't ready. I stopped moving and told him "Nope. Not again." and he said it'll be more than once calm down. As soon as he said that he busted and reneged on his deal. "Well maybe it will just be once". You asshole! I was snatching my clothes and condoms off the floor and he was asking me why I was so mad and I should be happy I got something. Now, I was slightly intoxicated and I said some not so nice things to him like

"That was bullshit. you could've kept that!"
"The drive over here was longer than the actual sex"
"Idk what's going on with you but if it's gonna continue to be like this I don't wanna do this anymore."

Well, he didn't like that last part so he hit me with "Well I'm moving away anyways so tonight was the last time. I'm doing me. No drinking. No parties. Goodnight." and I was like well fuck you too then! I assumed we were officially over but I knew better than that! About three weeks later he hit me up asking if I was awake and "yes I'm intoxicated" But damnit I was at work! I swear he has the best fucking timing ever. The week after I decided to take a day off to see him. I was kinda super drunk that night so everything is a bit fuzzy. I remember going to his house and us having sex briefly, and then he said something about my boobs to which I answered "Oh whatever don't act like you don't like them", He wouldn't say yes so I literally followed him down the street to his friend's house like a crazy person with my dress half on and he was telling his friend to tell me I had nice boobs so I'd go home. I think I punched him and bit him on the man titty. Smh. And his friend told me "Nice african dress". It was a blue, pink & white dress with cheetah print -__________-. I left, came back with a burrito and we had sex again. I was only semi satisfied with his performance, but def an upgrade from the last few times.

CUT TO this past Friday. He hit me up last week while I was at work AGAIN (like he doesn't know my work schedule by n ow) and even tho I had just taken a friday off two weeks prior, I decided I needed another "vacation" day. Once again I got drunk, got tacos and picked him up. He had his friend with him so we went and kicked it with some of my other friends where everyone was drinking and smoking. And I kept encouraging him to keep drinking beer and taking shots lol. Around 4 we dropped his friend off then went to his house. I go into his room while he grabs another beer from the fridge and I start getting undressed. He took the last few magnums I had left out the car and brought them inside. I could see his boner thru his pants and it just made me oh so happy. I swear he has the nicest dick I've ever seen. He puts on some music, turns the lights down and pushes me down on the bed. Face down, ass up. He gets behind me, he's got a beer in one hand and my ass in the other and he starts going slow and I'm trying to figure out which way the night was gonna go. He puts the beer down and then digs his nails into my hips and I'm like ohhhh yeahhh. THIS is the shit that got me hooked. Going so deep it sounds like you've got your own "applause" light that's that shit I DO like. He pushes me down again so I'm laying flat on my stomach while it seems like he's putting all his weight on the small of my back so I can't move. He still hasn't skipped a beat so I'm in la la land. I know I was being loud as fuck but I really didn't care. Ol' rude ass lol I seriously hope it isn't loud enough for everyone on the other side of the house to hear. He would go between pushing me down and then snatching me back up by a fistful of my hair. He'd pull me up so far that he'd choke me with his other hand which is all I ever want in life anyways. He pushed me back down put this time put my legs together and had his legs outside of mine and started drinking his beer again. He started off slow, then started hitting me with those hard deep strokes and he slipped out.
And missed again.
Shit Happens all over again.
But this time I wasn't gonna let that stop me. He laid on his back and I started riding him reverse cowgirl. First on my feet with my back straight. I know he's enjoying the view because he just keeps calling my name with a couple "oh fucks" thrown in there and some ass slappings in between. Then I got on my knees and elbows and rode him slow so he could see it going in and out and I think he liked that better cause every time I'd get tired and would try to get back on my feet he'd push me hella hard back on my elbows lol. After a while he got tired of watching me work so he sat up and spread my legs to east jesus nowhere and took over. I love being fucked rather than doing the fucking cause he hits my g spot better. So while he's getting all wild and crazy I can hear myself getting louder so I bury my face in the mattress and boom I feel him push me away and when I turned around he goes "Oh hey, there's blood". I decided NOT to swallow this time and he walks out the room to go clean up. When he stabbed me with his dick earlier that night I bled a bit. He comes back in eating chips and guac just staring at me with a huge ass boner and I can't take my eyes off it. And even tho the HBIC is throbbing I put my clothes back on.
I get ready to leave and he starts slapping me on the ass and I'm like can I help you sir? He finishes his chips and pulls his dick back out and I'm like round two? I'm not complaining. Get back down on my hands and knees and he grabs his beer and takes a swig. Halfway in I felt him spit before he went all the way in, and normally this irks me but tonight it turned me on a lil bit not even gonna lie. I didn't even bother to take my shirt off so instead of pulling my hair he pulls my shirt and bra instead. I'm trying my hardest to make sure I don't run from him but I guess I wasn't trying hard enough because he shoved my face into the mattress and grabbed my arm behind my back so I couldn't move. And I loved every second of it.
We finished up again and he comes back in with more chips and guac. I get dressed then ask him, where the rest of my condoms were. Last time we wasted three because he kept taking them off, same with tonight. Before I could grab it he grabs it and is like "No, what do you need this for? Who are you gonna have sex with?" So I snatch it back and ask "Who are YOU gonna have sex with?!" and he tells me we should just get rid of it now. I was confused because I was thinking why are we gonna waste a condom? Then he slaps me on the ass a few times and when I turn around he lifts up my shirt and starts rubbing my boobs. I'm like ooooooh okay I gotcha. I open it and hand it to him and put my hands on the wall like I'm under arrest and wait for him to get situated. I take my bra and shirt back off and he slides my pants off and tells me to lay down. I get on my back and he puts my shoulders on his legs and leans ALL the way down. I have to grab my ankles to keep my legs from shaking. It barely works tho, seeing as to my knees were in my damn ears. This is like the best and worst position ever. It's amazing cause it allows for deeper penetration, but at the same time I can't move and when he goes too deep I get a dull ache in my stomach or uterus or whatever the fuck starts hurting, and my legs start shaking like crazy. He is literally throwing his whole body weight into these thrusts and I think my head is about to explode. I can't do shit but dig my nails into his back. He sits up keeping my legs on his shoulder but picking up the pace. I'm just being loud for no reason whatsoever with the baby yes's oh my god's and fuck's and whatnot...I would had to see myself in a porn...He pulls out and flips me over on my stomach and literally KILLS my vag. And the great thing was we came at the same time;) I can't recall if that's ever happened before but tonight it was amazing. And I guess I didn't notice him pull the condom off earlier again cause he came on my ass, threw a sheet on me and wiped me down, then slapped my ass and said "You're welcome". I was still on saturn somewhere. I had no control of my legs whatsoever, they refused to move when I tried getting dressed again, so I just lied there, trying to catch my breath. This fool comes back into the room with a big ass bowl of guac and chips and is just munching away. He sat down next to me and his dick was still pretty hard so I grabbed it just to measure with my fingers how girthy it was. I can make a ring with my index finger and thumb nails touching.
And I wear acrylics.
And I need a fill.
I'll let you use your imagination for that one.
Finally I have some strength in my legs and I get dressed, and he keeps football slapping me on the ass and I get in my car thin king I'm about to drive to LA. Silly girl you can't even push the pedals down because not only are your legs weak but your cooch hurts and everything is too sore to move! So I really just sat in my car in front of his house for half an hour before I hit the road. And when I got to work that night the girls told me I didn't miss anything cause everyone did shitty. Which made my night THAT much better.

And there you have it. There is your Happenis update.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy

Friday, September 7, 2012

Best I Ever Had.

Alrighty babes and gents if you follow me on twitter you may remember me tweeting something about shirtless LA dudes and cold weather and the best fucking head I've ever received in my life. And even if you didn't time to elaborate.

One night at work it was really slow so I hung out in the dressing room most of the night. Something told me to come out of the dressing room during the arm wrestling contest. They hold them between customers to boost crowd participation and give away the cheapest porns you've ever seen in your life.As I stood in the doorway I saw the most beautiful shirtless man I had ever seen. His back muscles were absolutely gorg. Then I prayed his face wasn't ugly and thank God he was gorg too. And his pecs...*drools* he was just AMAZING. I was walking around naked at the time so I bum rushed the stage, grabbed his man boobs, and stole his shirt. Cause I didn't want him to put it on. Lol. I chatted with him for most of the night, and I honestly don't remember half the shit he was saying except his name and the fact he's originally from Arizona. All I was thinking was "Just cause we're naked and he's shirtless we aren't going to straddle him. Yet". Like it took every ounce of will power in me to not try to fuck the shit out of him right then and there. I gave him my number, and made sure not to accept any cash from him. So then he technically wouldn't be a customer. I texted him when the weekend was over and we made plans to hang out the next time I was in LA.
I hit him up on friday to let him know I'd be in town for the weekend. I didn't hear back from him until the next day and he told me that he and his friends were going out that night and I should join them. As much as I would've loved to I had to be at work that night until 6am. Throughout the night he was telling me how his night was going, and then he said they were having a bbq later that day and I should join. "Unless you wanna come hang out after work;)" Why didn't my dumb ass pick the bbq I SHOULD HAVE PICKED THE FUCKING BBQ!!!!!!!!!! I told him not to play with me, because I actually would go to his house after work. It was just like a :you won't" back and forth and I didn't think we'd actually SEE each other. I expected him to pass out drunk and not to see him til later that day. He actually hit me up right before I felt work and asked me if I was still coming. Fuck. Say no. Bitch say no!!! "yeah I just gotta know where I'm going." *face palm*. NO!!!!! Bitch why?!?!?!?!?!?! All my coworkers were like "Don't fuck him. Just make out with him." I told them I wouldn't fuck him and I would just make out with him and MAYBE let him dry hump me. Bad idea.I drove all the way to the coast. At 6am. Knowing exactly why I was going there. I get to his house, and it's actually pretty dope. It's right near the beach and whatnot. He led me to his room, and it was the kind you have to step down into. I excused myself to the bathroom so I wouldn't have a repeat of the tampon incident. And I went back to his room. We watched some weird ass "scary" movie which was basically me watching it while he drifted in and out of sleep When the movie was over he asked me about my piercings, and I showed them to him, and he seemed especially fascinated with my three tongue rings. That's all he kept talking about. He mentioned he used to have his tongue pierced then a stupid ex girlfriend brainwashed him and convinced him to take it out. I proceeded to voice my disgust for his ex after that lol. Then he sat up on his knees, stared at me for a minute, then said "I need to know what those tongue rings feel like. Can I kiss you?" Of course stupid, you don't have to ask! And this was the beginning of the end.
He is just an amazing fucking kisser. He doesn't suck on my bottom lip too hard. And did I mention he was shirtless? And beautiful? and his eyes are this light brown that just....gaaaaaaaaah. Then he would kiss my neck, back up to my mouth and my brain was just mush. And for some reason every now and then I would smile and laugh while we made out. And I have no idea why. Then He licked down my neck, to my boobs and I just remember telling my self "no sex, no sex, no sex" and before I knew it he pushed up my tank top and just started licking my stomach up and down. I felt my leg twitch and I was like no just hold out a lil longer! He licked down my stomach and past my belly button, and then he threw my leg on his shoulder and started licking the ninja kitty. Over the yoga pants. And I wanted him to strip me down so bad. But he wouldn't! After a while he slipped my pants off, but did the same thing, this time over my thong. I just wanted to punch him in the skull for teasing me like this.  Finally everything came off and I fucking LIVED. I purely hated that man's existence and loved him at the same time. That is a grown ass man for you. And fuck his roommates for being in their home while I was there. because I literally wanted to scream my head off. It was THAT good. Lick, suck, nibble repeat. I hate the word clit but he would circle mine with his tongue and it would send chills up my spine, then I would start to run. He hooked both his big ol' muscular biceps around my thighs so I couldn't go anywhere, I just had to lay there and enjoy it. God I hate him. I hate him!!!!! I wasn't supposed to have sex but after that performance I felt I had no choice BUT to. He was down there for a while and just when I thought I couldn't take anymore he came up for air, kissed me then rolled onto his back and I attempted to return the favor. Now, this dude is low key hairy, I don't know his ethnicity, but he shaves where it counts. He shaves his chest and lets only a lil bit grow back and it looks sexy af, and he manscapes. That's all that matters in that regard. His dick is girthy, but wasn't very long:/ whatever his tongue makes up for that. I started off fine it wasn't until he told me to bring my ass to him when I failed miserably. We started 69 but then it ended more like him eating me out and me just giving him a half ass hand job because I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I got off his face and crawled to his dick and I sat on it. I rode him for a little bit then he put his arms around my back and said "You ready?" And he flipped me over on my back without sliding out. I laid on my back and I waited for him to get ready. He put my legs on his shoulders and went to semi work. I only say that because I'm used to rough hard fucking and idk if he was being kinda gentle cause his roommates were home or he thought that's what I wanted. But he moved my legs off his shoulders, bent down and sucked on my neck while he was thrusting. Hey sir? I think I love you. He sat back up and turned me on my side while he sat straight up. He has a big ass mirror by his bed so I just watched us while he was all focused on my ass. I moved my leg higher up so we would almost be in doggy and he told me that was the kill position and not to move. Okie doke. He still got behind me and did it anyways, then ta-daaaa. It was done. I didn't care cause he was beautiful and his head was amazing. So I laid on my stomach, and he just starts kissing my neck again, licking from my neck all the way down my back til he got right to the top of my crack. And sorry I can't think of a sexier word than crack. But Whenever he got to about the middle of my back I got the chills again, and he kept doing it and I felt myself getting wet again. Then before I knew it he yelled "SURPRISE!" And rammed it back in. Weeeeeeeeeee round two! So while I'm on my stomach with my ass arched into him he asks me if he can have some of my AriZona (how funny. A guy from Arizona drinking an AriZona.) so he's got one hand on the small of my back controlling my ass and the other he's drinking my green tea. So funny to check out in the mirror.
We had sex twice that day, took a nap, then he told me I could stay for the bbq later that day. I really needed to take a shower tho so instead I went back to my friend's house. Then after that he started acting all sketch. All I wanted to do was fuck him every time I came to LA and he had to start acting all gay and shit. He worked in tv production and had to be awake at like 5 every morning to beat morning traffic on his commutes so I would text him every now and then just to say hey, and then on the weekends just to let him know I'd be down there. It was one excuse after another. "This week at work was real brutal. I'm exhausted." "I'm getting sick" "I''m sick" after the third weekend I got annoyed and didn't hit him up after that. I felt if he really was sick he would hit me up when he got better. he hit me up like two weeks later to say he was feeling better, that he took a mini vaycay to Arizona to visit family and friends and that he would be back in LA monday night. He asked me how I had been and I told him "Sexually frustrated". He laughed at me, even though I wasn't joking. HE was the one who said "Well maybe when I get back to LA I can help you out with that;)". HE said it. I didn't even ask for it. So I sent him a picture and he was talking about how he wished he was back in LA and unfortunately I wouldn't be able to see him til next weekend. Now I haven't had sex in God knows when, and I decided to go all out this weekend. I shaved EVERYTHING, did my hair, picked out a cute outfit to see him in in case we went out for drinks or something, the whole nine. Texted him when I was on my way to LA, no response. Texted him the next night to see what he was up to, no answer. DUDE WTF?!?!?! Why would you tell me you're basically going to fuck me then just ignore me?!?!?!? I would've rather you had said no and I could've gone on about my merry way instead of planning my entire weekend around you. You don't need to blow smoke up my ass. If you're being a passive aggressive little pussy, then stop. Just say hey it was a one night thing I'll chalk it up as a loss and go on about my business. Stop tryna string me along. Like don't tell me you're gonna help me with my "problem" when you clearly aren't. If I don't wanna fuck you I'll make sure you know it so there isn't a question of doubt. I hate that his head was absolutely life changing cause now I'm spoiled. That's all I really wanted from him anyways. The sex was fun but ti wasn't AMAZING. I'd rather make out with him and give each other oral.

*SIDEBAR: I think 69 is a completely pointless position if one person is good at giving head. If the head is mediocre I can focus more on giving you head, which is good for you, but then I'd rather just give you head and you enjoy it. Now if you're amazing at it, then I can't focus on blowing you and I should just save us the trouble and sit on your face. So you don't think I suck at suckling dick. I'm really good when I can focus and don't have someone raping my clit with their tongue and pulverizing my g-spot with their fingers.

He knows the value of foreplay because he is a grown ass man. Don't know his age, think he's like 24+. But I've never had anyone focus on foreplay like that. I keep trying to tell guys not to underestimate the power of foreplay. Sure you may find it boring, but this isn't about you it's about pleasing your lady. But w/e. So once again I'm going back to ignoring this cunt. Yes, CUNT. Because that's exactly what hes acting like. Ol' bitch. My problem isn't that he isn't trying to fuck me again or whatever, my problem is he won't man up and just say so. If he did at least I'd know what it was. Whatever. I'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs while I wait to get laid.

But I'd feel real stupid if he dropped his phone in the ocean and lost all his numbers. That's still an option right?
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

The Gummy Bear Dude. And His Dog.

Sorry about my hiatus babes and gents. I've been verrrry very lazy lately. And I hate blogging from my netbook cause sometimes the buttons on my keyboard don't work, then I start looking illiterate. So I have to wait to be able to use the family computer and blah blah blah other things you don't care about everyone just wants to hear about how Happenis and I are doing. Lol. Well I told you I had to do three blogs for you so here goes.

So there's the boy I told you guys I casually fuck every now and then? The Gummy Bear dude aka The Mexican Across Town (cause he lives in east jesus nowhere). Well anyways, after the gummy bear night he decided to start sneaking me into the house and we would chill in his room. Bong rips, shot guns and sex. And if you aren't familiar with smoker terminology a shot gun is when a guy takes a hit and then passes the smoke to a girl (or guy. whatever floats your boat) like he's doing cpr. Usually ends in a kiss. And no I'm not a smoker now. I swear. Anyways so the first time we had sex in the room it was nice He starts with going down on me, then we switch. And his bed is really high off the ground so he'll usually bend me over the bed. The only thing that sucks is when his family is there and we have to be quiet, cause then that means I can't get it rough:/ . We had sex once, then we were just chillin' for a minute and I see him start stoking his junk. I'm like "Ohhh, round two?" and he was like "I don't know, maybe if you can get it hard again". That wasn't too hard. No pun intended. Let round two commence! So I think I was on all fours on his bed and I heard what sounded like someone trying to open his door. He didn't seem concerned so I was like whatever. Then all of a sudden the door opens slightly and I've never seen that boy move so fast. I remember as I watched him run to the door I kept looking at his ass, thinking about how small it was. And it made me laugh (on the inside). But he's a skinny boy, so I can't knock him. But that kinda ended our night:/
The next time I saw him, it was more or less of the same thing. We started off with a few bong rips but this time his dog kept scratching the door so he was like "I gotta let her in." okay, fine. He let's his big ass pit into the room and immediately she starts jumping on me. I'm like uhhhhhhhh...okay. And for some reason he had to leave the room so it was just me and the dog. I tried to get on the bed and she was like "No bitch. I'm the only bitch in his life." and started fucking with me. When I sat on the edge of the bed with my feet hanging off she would jump on my back and lick my face. And she was HEAVY. Then I crawled into the middle of the bed and sat on my knees. Then she kept walking around me in circles and whacking me with her tail. It reminded me of getting whopped with a belt. That shit was painful! I swear she was doing it on purpose. and I couldn't move cause she kept circling me like she didn't want me to move outta her sight. Finally The Gummy Bear dude comes back and he tries unsuccessfully to get her to leave me alone. He puts her on the ground and tries to make a pallet for her on the ground and she'd rather be on the bed. Ugh. Whyyyy can't we just put the dog outside?! Finally it seems as though she's finally listening to him so she lies down. And after he calls the dog a cock block lol he pulls the covers over his head and gives me head. And at first I was enjoying it, that is until I turned my head to the side. The dog was staring at me with that confused doggy face, the one where they cock their head to one side and just stare at you. And I swear his dog was staring into my soul at that point. And it kinda creeped me out lol.I kinda laughed and he poked his head out the blanket so see what was going on and then scolded her again. Finally she left us to do our thing, and the entire time I kept thinking about his dog's face! we finish up and then I go on my merry way. I haven't seen him since then, but I seriously hope the next time when I do go have sex in his house the dog is far, far away.
I just feel weird. Like I know my dog is a dog, but I won't even let him see me naked. I feel weird about it! As if he's a little baby and shouldn't be looking at naked people. Hence why I dress him up in cute little outfits. Anyways....

One down, two more to go. And they will post automatically so hopefully this will hold you off for a while.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Eww Why Me?!

I really gotta stop fucking with blasts from the past.
If you refer back to the "Keep It 100" blog...yeah that bitch is back. And getting on my nerves more than ever. I officially gave up on that months ago, and sure enough when summer vacay started he popped back into my life YET AGAIN. Although he still failed to mention he had a girlfriend. You dudes really let twitter get y'all caught up. Anyways he was literally pestering me for WEEKS about giving him some when I had no type of interest in him anymore. Once I stop fucking with you I REALLY stop fucking with you. He would always text me all kinds of crazy shit, like "whaddup hoe" or "girl i can work my dick i know how to fuck" and "you bein a scary bitch" amongst other things. I knew he didn't mean to insult me, he just thought it was cute banter. I was not amused. He took my not wanting to fuck him as being scary. Like it was impossible to believe I really didn't wanna fuck with him like that. I had a friend pass away unfortunately last month and I felt like he might have used that opportunity to "be there for me" as another way to weasel his way back. Didn't really work. I tried my best to be nice to him for the simple fact we had been such good friends the previous years but he was really about to have me go the hell off on him. Me and Curly Fries were talking about it cause he happened to be friends with him too. He thought the situation was funny and sad because "its sad to see weed has made my friend so desperate for pussy" and as much as he would like to say he wasn't desperate, he really was. There was no need to text me every day asking when we were gonna fuck. None at all. We made a bet: Curly Fries said his dick would be small and he wouldn't last more than 7 minutes...which wasn't really a bet at all because I thought more or less the same thing.
Finally after weeks of trying I finally snapped. I told him "Look. If I do this, and it's terrible, I'm gonna tell you then I'm never speaking to you again". Of course he was waaaaay over confident in his skills. Then he asks when he's coming over here. Bitch...NEVER. I told him he would never step foot in my house again. Then he goes on about always having people at his house blah blah blah "we can just chill in the car" Bitch you are cuh-razy. I have never fucked you before. And you can't go hopping in the backseats of cars with boys all willy nilly. Car sex is difficult enough as it is, and if you can't fuck...that just makes it worse. I told this idiot I'd rather fuck him in a bed so I could at least see if the sex would be worth anything but once again, confidence over shadowed common sense. One night he comes and picks me up and I could really give two fucks about it. My gut told me it would be terrible but I did it anyways. I should probably start listening to my gut more often. Hygiene Gods forgive me for being so triflin' but let me tell you how much I DIDN'T care: I didn't put on deodorant, I had on sweats and a hoodie and I didn't wash my hair. All I did was wash my ass pretty much. SO we're sitting in the car for like an hour going back and forth about why I'm just not turned on by him anymore (his fuckery) and he's like can we please just put it behind us I'm sorry Fine whatever. His car is tiny by the way. Foreshadowing much? He's all slumped over invading my personal space and I'm thinking "stop touching me". Then he starts kissing me and the entire time he's moaning. I'm like why the fuck are you moaning?! Shut up!!! He stops and suggests we move to the backseat. I look back there, and look at him like he's crazy. There was NO room back there, and there was no way in HELL I was bringing that fuckery into MY car. So we got into the backseat. (I'm getting annoyed all over again writing this shit). Let the making out commence. I wish it would've stopped there. But NOOOOOOOOOO. And the fucked up thing was while we were making out I could feel my body betraying me. He wasn't a terrible kisser but he wasn't AMAZING, so I couldn't understand why I was so wet! I was like wtf is really going on...God is playing a cruel joke on me once again. In the middle of kissing he asks me all moan-y and shit "Mmmm grab my dick mmmm" and he shoves my hand in his shorts. Mind you I'm still kissing him. First off, his dick was wet like he just shot out hella precum. Ick. Then I felt how small it was. And I thought "That bitch Curly Fries was right" and started smiling. Smiling while kissing= no go. He asked me what and I was like oh hmm ha nothing...But I was like this night can't possibly get any worse. Oh yes it can, cause this is ME we're talking about. So I'm trying to keep my composure while we're kissing, and I can't even play with is dick I kept stopping and just held it and he would grab my hand and give me another jump start. I just had no desire to play with his peepee. Then he pulled away, pulled his shorts down and tried to take them off. But once again there was NO room so it was just knees hitting seats and acrobatic shit going on, just plain ol' awful. Finally he gets them off and he has me climb on top. I didn't even have the energy to ride him so I just half assed it hoping he would cum hella quick. Oh no, not him. So we switch between me semi riding him and him giving me his sorry ass excuses of thrusts, the whole time I'm just rolling my eyes. He commented on how wet I was and I just wanted to be like "I don't even know how the fuck that happened but I am NOT enjoying this shit" But I just said "Mmmhmm..." Finally I couldn't take anymore of this fuck ass shit so I got off. He was like "Sorry its so small back here" and all I said was "This was a terrible fucking idea". He asked me to give him head and that was meant with a firm hell no. Then he was like "You want me to bend you over the hood and fuck you huh" No sir, no I just want you to take me back home. He apologized once before he dropped me of and I told him I'd call him. Sike.

That shit was terrible and he knew it. "...know how to fuck" my ASS you liar! But I knew better tho...I diddddddd and yet I subjected myself to that fuck shit. Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! The only way he's gonna get another shot isif he gets a penile implant and drinks 6 Red Bulls. And even then I may still say no.
It's like the good ones don't come around often enough (If they ever come back) and the bad ones always stick around no matter how mean I am to them. What the fuck kinda ass backwards shit is that?!?!?! I'ma just quit sex one day and turn this into a cooking blog. Or a scrapbooking blog. Cause I can't take much more of this shit./

I still gotta write about:
-The Mexican across town and how his dog stared into my soul during sex
-Yet ANOTHER fail on Happenis's part. The quality of our sessions are steady going down:/
-Another L.A. prospect and Grade A peach eater. Damn his magical tongue trickery.

Y'all gotta be more on my ass about updating this thing. I forget to sometimes.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Call Me, Maybe...NOT!!!

This post is gonna be rather short.
So just an update on the Goblin, the one who told me "maybe if I play my cards right" we might be able to have sex again, well I think I know why I go such a shady ass response. I was supposed to go see The Dark Knight with him and some of  his friends, yet he failed to mention that his boo was included in that group. I had no idea he even had a boo! I go meet up with him and two girls, one I knew the other one I didn't. I suspected something was up when she didn't really talk much and just kept kinda looking at me. Then at some point they started hugging and making out while I was talking to the girl I knew. I was so flustered, embarrassed and confused that I couldn't even put my thoughts together as I was talking. I kept stopping and forgetting what I was trying to say as I pretended to not notice what was going on mere inches away. I had the most pathetic crush on this man...and for what. I thought he was such a great guy, and I mean he probably still is but this brings me back to my issue with the Sexsomniac. Why are you bringing sand to the beach?! I mean it was pretty clear that he liked this chick more than me so I don't see why my presence was even needed. I had briefly stopped talking to him after the maybe incident, and recently started talking to him again. Something told me not to go to the movies that night...thankfully I hadn't purchased my ticket yet so when everyone went inside to find seats I pretended to buy my ticket then dipped. Sadly my crush went deeper than sex so yeah when he kissed ol girl I felt some type of way. ugh. Fuck. Whatever.

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Tampon Incident.

You know at some point in time I would love to not have embarrassing shit happen to me during sex.
But then if it was you guys probably wouldn't enjoy the blog as much. And I'm so glad that it happened with Happenis because I feel if it happened with anyone else, that would be that. My 4th of July was very "eventful".

I ended up going to a party that night and started taking shots of Three Olives Loopy vodka. Nothing good comes out of drinking Three Olives ANYTHING. It was a holiday so I knew Happenis would be out drinking and I was almost guaranteed to get some dick that night. I had gotten ready earlier that night, landscaped and all that jazz. And if you're a man you're not going to understand this next part, girls will understand completely.
 Vaginas get wet. Even when they aren't aroused. So sometimes to make sure everything stays dry and panties stay fresh some girls use panty liners which are basically thin pads. I don't use those so sometimes when I expect to get laid but I decide to go out first I just stick a tamp in to keep stuff dry and whatnot. And that's what I did that night.
Sure enough around midnight he hits me up and is like "Hey do you wanna make some money?" I'm kinda drunk at this point so I'm like HOOOOooOoOoOoW and he was like my friends are looking for a stripper. I told him I'd do it but he had to pay me in dick. He said yeah later and I screamed. I was on the roof at the party I was at and apparently I screamed "I'M GONNA GO MAKE SOME MONEY AND HAVE SEX FOR FREE!!!" I drove to the house and he met me at the door. I went in and said hi to everyone and excused myself to go freshen up a bit before I "performed". I went to the bathroom with the intention of taking it out but then Happenis knocked on the door before he barged in. I was like "Get out!!! I'm tryna get readaaay." He really didn't give two shits cause he started peeing. I'm glad he feels comfortable around me like that. Not to mention he pees for like 5 minutes straight. After he finishes I push I'm out the bathroom and he's like don't push me. He ended up getting the last laugh tho because the light switch was on the OUTSIDE of the bathroom. So he kept shutting the light off distracting me and whatnot. After checking my hair and makeup I put on my shoes and went back out. He stopped me before going out back with the boys and he's like follow me. We find an empty bedroom and he grabs me by my waist and I'm like "Ooooh right now? But your friensssss" And he tells me they made a beer run and to get a quickie in. Fine by me. So I pulled my shorts down..................
Got on top of the bed........................................................
I'm on all fours and he sticks his finger in me and then

Him: What. The. Fuck. Is. THAT.
Me: Whaaaaat? What what?
Him: Are you on your fucking period dude?
Me: What? No I don't even get a period I'm on the shot *grabs fingers* you don't even have blood on your fingers what are you talking about?
Him: What is THAT *tugs on string* feels like a tampon are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: Oh god yeah I forgot that was there................
Him: Why are you wearing a tampon?!
Me: It's complicated!!
Him: You seriously just made my boner disappear.

How fucking embarrassing. I feel if he was any other guy he'd get freaked out and the mood would be ruined, but seeing as to how I've already bled all over the man how much worse can it get (let me not even jinx myself)...Guess it goes back to that comfort level.

I stumbled off to the bathroom to hurry up and take it out then went back to the room. It didn't bother him TOO much because his boner magically returned. He bent me over at the waist on the bed and I just tried to make sure my drunk ass kept quiet. Which is next to impossible but I can to it. Just as it was starting to get really good we had to stop because the other boys were coming back. We went to join the others out back and I was trying my best not to look freshly fucked. I introduced myself and one of his friends asked how we met. Went something like this.

HIS VERSION: Welp. I didn't really see her until we went to my house and I was carrying my keg shirtless...I had been hitting the gym and she liked what she saw and the rest is history.

MY VERSION: I was with my friend at liquor king and we met up with him and I said hi blah blah blah he said "damn who is that" blah blah blah he was shirtless blah blah blah my tire popped blah blah blah then um yeaaaaaaaaah.

The private show wasn't gonna go down so we decided to go back to my party. We didn't even make it off the block before he was telling me to pull over. I told him let's just go to the party first and he's like no NOW. Fine. I told him I had a Magnum ecstasy condom and that lasted about 2 minutes before we took it off. We got it in again in the car as per our usual but this time he wedged me between the front seats on my back. Great for my small waist. Not so great for my wide ass hips. He stood straight out the sunroof and slid right on in. He always go deep and hard all the time which is amazeballs but with the e-brake, shifter and center console in my back it was a mix of pleasure & pain. More pleasure tho. I turned my head to the side though because he was thrusting pretty hard and I was afraid the airbags might deploy and snap my neck and kill me. My hips hurt so much from the fresh piercings and because my hip bones were pinched between the seats. But I didn't care because it was fanfuckingtastic. I couldn't even think straight. My mind was all jrehfunqc rlhgfenpjn4zgfrqo43 q['g...we got out the car again and I stood up while he hit from the back. I can't remember if he came on my face or my ass, I just remember wondering why my hair was wet. It's because when I was on my back his super thrusts knocked over my melted frozen strawberry lemonade:/
We drove to the party where everyone liked him, and someone smelled his armpits.......I drank a lil bit more and he was laughing at how much everyone was falling over me. Well duuuuh I'm a pretty lady! After some more shots we left to go back to his place. On the way we stopped and got him a swisher, some peanut m&ms & a pack of ciggs. Gross. We sat and talked in the car for a minute about threesomes and I remember saying something like "no black girls. unless she's ugly. cause I don't want her to look like me. cause I wanna do this with you cause I'm comfortable with you and I don't like strangers but I like you" just babbling like an idiot. I stole his m&ms and he was babbling too and I wasn't paying attention cause he looked so cute. I fed him m&ms and told him everything he was saying was all fine and dandy but i didn't care cause he had really nice lips. He said "Do you want to kiss me?" and I said yes. I was being really stupid. But his lips were so damn soft. Went back to his house, put on some drake and had more drunk sex. I'm pretty sure we used the entire bottle of lube because I woke up the next morning sticky as fuck. Some time during the course of our fucking I asked him to kiss my neck and he got all butt hurt and said "no you don't deserve it anymore" and pushed me away. So I pouted and crossed my legs and called him a meanie, then he grabbed me again and we had sex some more. Drunk sex is great. I was thinking how much I appreciated the fact that he always has his balls shaved and how much I appreciate it. Always. Shaved balls are always so much easier to play with. With my tongue.
We decided to finish in the morning and passed the fuck out until about 1. Even with two fans I woke up sweating. I was like what the hell? I couldn't tell if I was wet or just sweaty...We were both on our backs, blankets off, then I saw his morning wood come to life. Next thing I knew he started stroking it, pushed my legs apart and started touching me...climbed on top and had "morning" sex. It was niiiiiiiiiiiiice. After we finished we got dressed and grabbed some lunch before I dropped him off. I was walking around in last night's makeup with lemonade for styling gel. A hot ass fucking mess.
Then I went to lunch with a few friends before I even showered my sins away. Triflin.
But a 4th well spent if I do say so myself.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Monday, July 9, 2012

Return Of Puss In Boots

I knew he wasn't gonna stay away for long...
You don't have sex 4 consecutive times and then be like "No...we can't do this anymore."
So the following week after all the bullshit went down I told myself fuck him. I mean we weren't friends...and if we're not fucking...then what do I really need to talk to you for? I would be civil and respect the man in his house but that's about it. He was leaving to Mexico on Sunday so I only had to deal with him for a day IF that. I woke up early Saturday morning to charge my phone in the living room, not giving a shit about how I looked at that point and he pokes his head out his room. He tells me good morning and to please excuse his mess in the living room. I had my hair in my face and really didn't care to talk to him. I said morning and not worry about it, then went back to bed. Later that night my friend calls me and she's like "Hey, Puss In Boots wants to ask you something." I'm like what the fuck could he possibly want from ME?! She's like he needs a ride somewhere. This man has my phone number why didn't he call and ask me himself? I told her to tell him to stop being a weenie and to ask me himself. He gets on the phone all nervous asking me for a ride to a check cashing place since he had to be at the airport early in the morning. I told him I'd let him know in about 2 hours when I got off work. My friend messaged me on the under and told me that he was like "Oh man...I'm so tempted to fuck Autumn again (he still calls me by my stage name...) She was tempting me this morning". If I recall correctly I said like 4 words to him and didn't even make eye contact..? What kind of jezebel black magic was I using? But after she told me that I was like challenge accepted.
So I put on a fresh face of makeup and right before I was about to pick him up my friend was like "Oh SHE just came over" That ol' bald headed cock blocking ass bitch! Ever since that say she saw me laying on the couch she clearly felt some type of way. For weeks I didn't know she even existed then that day she saw me she decided to move in every weekend when I was there. You insecure tramp you are not slick I see what you did there. But then again, you have every right to be insecure. Hah. I mean the shit was her fault anyways telling him she wanted to "keep her options open". Well bitch he just happens to be doing the same. SO after she told me that I decided NOT to pick him up and work the rest of the night. Then he was off to Mexico that day.
I didn't see him that week because he was gone and I took the weekend off for Happenis. With the whole threesome sitchy Happenis and I decided to meet up in LA on Tuesday, but due to some bullshit on his part our plans crashed and burned. But FUCK I was expecting to get some dick that night and I wanted it. My friend and I ended up getting off work early and I told her I was going to sneak in his room and jump on his dick BUT we had to make sure that good ol' cock blocking Betty wasn't there. Sure enough she wasn't and my friend pushed me into his room while he was sleeping. He ended up waking up to the commotion and was asking what was going on. I apologized for waking him and went into the living room to watch tv and he got up and showered. He came out in a towel and robe and went into his room to change. BUT he left the door open while he was changing. Sneaky, sneaky! I told him I wasn't going to watch him to change but that what he was doing wasn't fair. After he got dressed he came into the living room and asked me if I wanted to smoke a bowl with him.........We all know how that goes. I took a hit and once again felt like my face was melting off. I got that nauseous feeling again and couldn't do anything but hug my feet to my chest and breathe. My legs started shaking and shit and I was acting all weird and he kept telling me I was fine, to calm down and it was gonna be okay. Then I started laughing at EVERYTHING. His other roommate was trying to sleep so we went into his room and he was talking about SOMETHING, but it was just funny. He was like "I feel like you're laughing at me" and I mean I was, but only because I was high. He walked over to me and pushed me back on the bed and was like there's a problem here. I didn't know what he was talking about until he started pulling my basketball shorts down telling me he didn't like them. He climbed on top of me for a minute and shot gunned me the last bowl he smoked, then started kissing my neck (fkiwbfueae;bcsanfnchwlhfalofh;p), licking up the side of my neck to my ear then biting my earlobe. He stuck his hands down my shirt and I could be crazy but I swear being high makes my nips extra sensitive. And the shit felt AMAZEBALLS. I had bought a big ass box of magnums earlier that day so I told him to grab them and we got down to business. He ate me out for a minute and before he put the condom he asked me to kiss it. No problem there. Then he asked me to play with his foreskin..................................................and I was just like tf do I even do that? The fact that he wouldn't hold it back for me while I was trying to suck it was was like going over a fleshy speed bump. I didn't particularly like that shit...but I still did it anyways. God I hate foreskin...If I ever have a son I'm getting him snipped. Idgaf if his daddy isn't clipped I'm saving my baby a lot of trouble in the future.
Anyways he puts the condom on and he starts on top. He knows the value in foreplay so I was all ready to go. He was on top for a minute then whispered "You want me to hit it from the back?" Sir, you can hit it any which way you please. He flipped me and I had to stick my ass in the air so that he could hit my spot. I looked back at him briefly and he was thrusting with his hands on his hips lol. It looked funny but felt good so I wasn't about to judge. I threw it back a lil bit and then he came. He mumbled something about doing yoga, put on another condom and started stroking himself hard again. He was just like "fuck this, I'll just get hard in your pussy" Uh, okay. Lol. He put my legs on his shoulders then leaned all the way forward. My knees were by my ears and I was trying to figure out why he was the only guy that could get my legs all the way back without any pain. He asked me if I liked when he got hard inside me and I just pulled his hair. I wanted him to stop talking and to just fuck me lol. He stayed on top the entire time and I couldn't do anything but pull his hair and dig my nails into his back. He had his accent in full effect and my brain was just like hfjhfahefawo jeina fso;af soa;f a mush. He sat back up and put my hands on his waist so I could hold on to him and then BAM. Round two was over. Grabbed another condom and we had sex AGAIN. I think I had one more condom left in the room with me so after we finished the third time he was like lets wait til morning because morning sex is my favorite. Alright whatever you want. As I drifted off to sleep I was thinking mission accomplished.
We woke up the next morning and had sex two more times (we found another condom, woop woop) and I did the walk of shame back to my friends room. I knew he couldn't resist me it was just a matter of time. He hit me up later asking if we could be swingers and go to swingers parties, and I was just thinking "Swingers are couples...and we're not a'm confused" I was tryna figure out why that "friend" couldn't do it, but then I remember he has feelings for her or whatever, and I'm just LOADS of fun. So we can have al the kinky fun and she can have all that romantic shit. That weekend we had sex three more times...It would have been 4 had he let me take advantage of his morning wood, but he didn't :( He was in the process of moving so I understood. The last day in the apt he poked me in the ass with a broomstick to let me know I could still get the D. He just told me to hit him whenever and I made a mental note of it. Good to know you yummy little Columbian.

Good shit. Next blog I gotta tell you about The 4th Of July + Happenis + the tampon "incident" Most embarrassing shit ever.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy