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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Stage 5 Grenades

What's a STAGE 5 GRENADE?
How bout the story of my life!
Sometimes I forget that I've been reading Cosmo since I was 12 an that I've picked up a few tricks along the way.
I keep forgetting not to unleash this beast upon unsuspecting men.
Sometimes my prowess of lust is too much for them to handle and they lose their minds, thus throwing them in the STAGE 5 GRENADE category.

Things that will get you put in a STAGE 5 GRENADE box:
*Blowing up my phone
*Initiating a booty call an when I get there you don't have anywhere for us to go, in hopes we can do it in MY backseat. Not gon' happen.
*Bad sex
*Sometimes you can just be fizzled out, aka YOU'RE BORING ME.

Things a STAGE 5 GRENADE would do is:
*Blow up your phone, usually 4 or 5 times in a night if you don't respond to their texts or answer their calls.
*Beg to come to you, so you don't have to "waste your gas"
*Or they will promise you gas money (which i feel is a form of prostitution)
*If you give 'em the old "I'm not feeling very good" then they will offer to give you oral sex. I told a grenade i was sick and he said "Well I'll just eat you out if you want?"
uuh, thanks, but I'll pass...

Basically they just can't take NO for an answer. I know if I wanna fuck someone but they're ignoring me, I'm not gonna continue to pursue it!
They have 3 times to ignore me before i consider them a lost cause and leave 'em alone.
I'll text one day, and if no response I'll text a few days later. Still no response?
I may try one more time then after that you get the heave-ho.
Perfect example of a STAGE 5 GRENADE: I decided to give this guy a second chance with me, because he said we should start TALKING talking, and after a year he had worn me down.
AT first things were fine, but then they started going downhill.
The sex was bad and he was an asshole.
Things came to a head when he decided to kick me out because i wouldn't give him head one night.
If his old impatient ass had waited, he would have discovered that I had gotten my tongue pierced and I was waiting for him to get some fucking act right!
Anyways I kindly let him know that would be the last time he ever saw me, and I guess he didn't take me serious because that happened in December.
It is not April.
This is the kind of bullshit I go through every few weeks w/ him and other grenades.
*AHEM*

Jose: what's good
Me: Can I help you?
J: You definitely can!
M: I don't think I want to.
J: Still mad at me love?
M: I'm not mad.
J: So we're cool?
M: I honestly don't care
J: That's good. What are you getting into tonight?
M: Not you.
J: I wouldn't want you to. But are you gonna let me get into you?
M: Hell no.
J: Never again?
M: Never.
J: I'm kinda depressed know.
M: Okaaaaaaaaay
J: So can you help me out?
M: Absolutely not.
J: Man. I thought after everything we had together you would be here for me whenever I needed you!
M: We didn't have shit but sex every now an then.
J: Wow
M: Don't act surprised.
J: I am, very!!!
M: Hahaha idk why
J: Cause I thought we had something
M: Oh give me a break you act like we were together.
J: I feel we were
M: If that was the case you were the world's suckiest boyfriend.
J: Lol really!
M: Seriously. We were not together.
J: We should start hanging out again.
M: NO!!!
J: Ohhh you never gave me that surprise
M: Do you know what NEVER means?!
J: Yeah but I don't want it to be like that
M: Too fuckin bad
J: Man!

Now see, desperation will get you NOWHERE.
I'm tryin to figure out why he's being so clingy!!!
There's waaaaay too many girls in the world for him to be trippin THIS hard.
I can be a complete bitch (which you just witnesses) yet his dumb as will keep coming back for seconds!
When I put you in the STAGE 5 GRENADE box, there is a slim to none chance of getting out.
I will admit my sexual prowess is a gift, but it is also a curse.
Ever had a STAGE 5 GRENADE? I wanna hear about it!
you can always email your questions/comments/stories to MOI at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com

Your homework for the evening is perfect for STAGE 5 GRENADES, should you continue to have sex with them.
THE BASSET HOUND

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
The less eye contact, the better...
Besitos for the babes an gents who've been reading, keep it up:)
Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryy

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

T.O.N.y

I have come to the conclusion that men are complete idiots.
Case in point, my last encounter, we shall cal him T.O.N.y. (in reference to the Solange song).

Lemme set the scene:
5 a.m. I'm driving to the Ranchos, where there may be a house every half mile. Pull up to his parents phat ass house and when I get inside, I realize we aren't alone.
So I had to settle for a computer chair in a bedroom w/ two sleeping football players and T.O.N.y.
We're sitting there, chatting it up and wouldn't ya know it, a button popped off my dress, exposing the (very perky looking) girls.
And he took full advantage of that (one of the benefits of having pierced nips, heightened sensitivity;) ).
And I always give credit when credits due, he's an awesome neck nibbler too.
But with the stupid sleeping QB's all I could to was straddle him an give him a lil sample of what I had to offer;)
He walked me back to my car around 7 a.m. and my M.O. is to give you a hug, maybe a kiss and hop into my car. NAW NAW. It seemed like he didnt wanna let me leave!!!
He just held me for the longest and kept pecking me.
"SO when *peck* am I *peck peck* gonna *peck* see you *peck* again?"

WTF moment numero Uno

I had work in 7 hrs so I immediately went to sleep. I wake up to a text "Have you gotten any sleep yet?"

Sweet but WTF moment number 2

He texted me THROUGHOUT that SAME day, "Oh I wish you were here" "I wanna see you again" "Would you even wanna see me again?" (Had I known he would have turned out to be a ROYAL DOUCHE I woulda said "HEYLL NAW"

Then I started to kinda like the man. UH-OH cause I don't do feelings! I just want sex and I just keep it moving.
But he was being a tad to nice to just want sex right?

We made plans to see each other again that following Friday and I was ready to go ALL OUT.
I got my hair did, got a pedi, bought a very salacious outfit from Frederick's...
Hell, I went PORN STAR bare, which I RARELY do, due to all the weird positions I gotta bend into to get every last hair.
I even went as far as to buy a vibrating tongue ring.

Friday comes along and my plans are fucked.
We don't end up seeing each other until 3 a.m. which I already didn't have a good feeling about.
The same sleeping bastard who cock blocked my dick on the first night was sitting on the couch when I got to T.O.N.y.'s apartment in East Jesus Nowhere...
T.O.N.y. led me to his room where I noticed he had candles lit.
WTF moment number 3

He left to go take a shower (which is encouraged, but we'll touch on that another day)
And he came back looking absolutely delish.
Lays down next to me, kisses me...
Then he pins my hands down and starts nibbling on my neck.
This is absolute bliss and I'm expecting the night to get even better.
Boy, was I WRONG!!!

Basically the neck nibbling was the best part of the night.
He turns off the lights and IDGAF what anyone says, candlelight is flattering light. It makes everything and everyone look sexy.
He undresses me. Pops my bra off with one hand (impressive I must say) and he rolls over on his back.
He pulls out his dick and I was a tad disappointed=/
So I went to town and started giving him a taste of my oral skills and he immediately starts fidgeting and moaning.
But for some reason his dick had a mind of its own because it kept moving and wouldn't be still!
Usually I can give head without using my hands but that little bastard wouldn't be still.
Then he starts to ram it in my mouth. The deep throating wasn't that hard, since he wasnt that long anyways...
When I stop and lay on my back, he gets up and kneels over me and I'm thinking he's reaching for a condom out the nightstand.
Nope, he just wants to fuck my face some more...
Then when we finally DO get to the sex...
Ugh...
After like 3 positions, he pulls out an cums on my stomach (blah).
It was fun, but I just wished it lasted longer!
T.O.N.y. wipes me down and then basically passes out.
I thought about sneaking out multiple times without saying goodbye, but decided against it but oh, how I wish I had!
In the AM he walks me to my car and says "Text me when you get home babe" and kisses me goodbye yet AGAIN.

And that was the last I ever heard from T.O.N.y.
While I have NO PROBLEM being a booty call, don't do all this extra shit to try to impress me!!!
Be upfront and say youre looking for fun, not anything serious.
I mean, blowing up my phone talking about you wish I was there, lighting candles, kissing me good bye...
WHERE DEY DO DAT AT?!
Honestly going out of your way to try to seduce me...tsk, tsk.
You had me with your big manly protein fed muscles and cute face.

I have come to the conclusion that...
MEN ARE FULL OF SHIT.

EDIT: I now know why he never called. Shoulda known his ass was off the market...*sigh* I can't win!!! FMMFL.

Anyways, on to greener pastures.
haha, WHO'S NEXT??


Babes an Gents, your HW for the evening
DEEP STICK

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Probably the only thing he did RIGHT that night.

Hope your escapades go better than mine:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy 

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Is Drunk Sex REALLY "Spectacular"?

*sigh* CHEETAH GIRL GONE WILD...
It starts with unprotected drunk sex with a complete stranger.
Then it escalates to hoe strollin, swapping blow jobs for what else? BLOW.
As I was trolling various blogs (as i do every morning), I came across this fuckery that was probably serious with intent. But was unintentionally comedy.
If you have a vagina, steer clear of Disney. They will fuck. You. UP.


OR watch it here via mobile web

All I can really do after watching this nonsense is just sigh.
Kiely's explanation?
"I wrote Spectacular and made the video to bring attention to a serious womens health and safety issue. Please don't shoot the messenger.”

hmm...I don't know about you, but i don't get a PSA feeling from this video.
I feel like I need to take a hot shower.
She can't remember if dude used a rubber, but he can get it again if he wanted.
That most def makes ME not wanna have drunk sex, right???
I'm still waiting for her to bring attention to whatever "health and safety issue" she was referring to in the above statement.
Or am I just not reading between the lines enough? lol
(And I have NO idea where she picked up that mongrel of a man for her love interest. I had no interest in seeing him naked!!!)
When I think of drunk sex, I think sloppy and not so fun.
 (Why thank you, Tara Reid)
I mean really...
9 times outta 10 you're NOT gonna like the person you wake up next to.
Being drunk not only gives you false confidence.
that hottie at the end of the bar?
I can all but guarantee she'll look like this in the morning...
Its a fact of life that needs to be accepted!
Buuuuuuut, people will continue to have drunk sex anyways, so what am I even talking for anyways...lol

Well its about that time, remember to email questions/concerns/hate to AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
I would just LOVE to answer some questions.
You know I cant leave you without some homework for the evening!
BULLDOG


Courtesy of SexInfo101.com

Simple, yet oh-so pleasing;)

You know you love me,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry 

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Penises, Piercings, and *A Semi Famous Guido*;)

Letter of the day is "P" babes an gents (if you couldn't already tell)
Like I've said before, I speak on what I know about.
Let's get started

All 3 of these topics tie in together, and I like them all.
Sometime  in January, I got to chat with *A Semi Famous Guido* from *A Famous TV Show* (ugh he is beautiful.)
Ever since i saw him dancing with that trashy hooker an heard him say "I eat something everyday" I knew I had to have him for myself;)
So i found him on Twitter, and i mentioned him a few times, so he sent me a DM one day (this was obviously before the show became ridiculously popular). I was driving when i got it and damn near ran my car off the road with excitement.
So we chatted, exchanged emails and long story short he sent me a picture of his dick.
Which I must say, is quite impressive.
Thick and pierced, just how I like 'em.
Now, idk about you, but I'm a sucker for piercings. You may see nuts and screws and bolts. I see nothing but constant G-Spot stimulation. I can only IMAGINE what being on my stomach would feel like...
I can overlook the fact that he doesn't manscape, simply because he's got the right kind of jewelry. I prefer banana bars over closed rings ANY day. This looks like waaaaaay more fun.
*A Semi Famous Guido* happened to be in Cali that same day, but FML I had to work!!!
I realized I had a job to do, and he was only a mere 8 hours away, but alas, I couldn't go hang out with him:(
Then he realized he was too cool for school and that was the last I ever heard from him.
Don't let me catch him walking down a dark alley.
You know my motto, "You can't rape the willing".
(Smh look at me, drooling on myself over this picture)
if you have a banana bar in your peen, please move to the front of the line:)

Speaking of penises, anyone wanna let me know why men feel the need to lie about the "size of the boat"?
I have been to a club/function waaaaay too many times where you got buffoons walking around with Magnums in their mouths.
Because that'll REALLY up your chances of gettin these panties at the end of the night.
Like, REALLY?
I have yet to see a girl go after a man simply because he's claiming to lead a magnum lifestyle.
Let's say this bimbo falls for it. What happens when the boxer briefs are dropped?
I say, "FALSE ADVERTISING!!!" and stroll my hot ass up outta there.
(Bad Sex shall be another blog for another day).
And just because you're big doesn't mean you know how to work your shit.

That's all i have to say on the subject matter. New blog coming soon IF I get positive reviews for this one:)
Babes an gents don't forget to email me your questions at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
I will be more than happy to post an answer the questions (anonymously if you prefer) in a future blog.

BUT before i go...I'ma leave you with some homework...
THE SITTING BULL

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com
Happy experimenting,
Your very own freak of the Industry, Miss Sixxxty;)

Cum one, Cum all;)

Hey there babes an gents! I figure since this is my first blog post, I should introduce myself.
You can call me Miss Sixxxty, I'm no stranger to this blogging business lol.
A ripe 19 year old in her prime,
About as single as they come right about now...
Hmm...as odd as it may sound I've been fascinated by sex since I was a child.
I've been reading Cosmo since I was 12.
I have a blog on my MySpace, but who gets on that anymore?
I decided to move onto greener pastures lol.

Things to look forward to:
My various sexcapades (good and bad)
Tips an Tricks;)
Ask Miss Sixxxty (just email me and at the end of the week I'll have lil Q&A up.)
Various opinions on sex related topics.
I am trying to get my own YouTube or Ustream going, just working on a location for filming.

Just remember; the more readers I get, the jucier things will get;)
You can start to leave me love at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com

Kisses for my (soon-to-be) babes an gents,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry.