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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

There's A First Time For Everything...

Although the drought ended like two weeks ago and it was fantastic, I feel like I'm back at square one. The Goblin (he really needs a new nickname...) won't put out, the blind date guy won't put out...shit I had options for like a week. What the fuck just happened?! There's always that one guy that never got a nickname, the one hour blow job dude. He ended up drunk dialing me one night, so I figured I'd go see what he was talking about.

Him: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Nothing much...
Him: Wrong answer
Me: mmm what is the right answer
Him: you finna slide through later an im finna snack.

Say no more! Hopped up out the beeeeeeeed, turned my sexy on, took a look in the mirror & said what's up. I kinda wish he lived closer to me cause going to see him is always a fucking mission. But usually how it goes is I'll either park in the driveway or across the street and we get down to business. This time he was a little drunk so as soon as I hopped in the backseat with him he pushed me back and pulled my pajama pants down. He brought me back up for a couple kisses and pushed me back down and slid my panties off (I hate the word panties but underwear sounds so juvenile ughhhhhh). His ass went to fucking TOWN. Effort is half of oral. The other half is skills. And he loves french kissing the Vee. He'd occasionally lightly bite on the inner labia and suck at the same time which sent chills up my spine (this is all starting to sound so technical). I was helpless and couldn't do shit but rub my fingers thru his hair and squirm. When he finally came up for air we switched. I gave him head like I had something to prove, only because it takes sooo long for him to bust when I'm giving him head it's frustrating. So I try harder and harder every time I see him. He pushed the hair out my face when I looked up at him and he asked me if I was "ready for this dick that I like sucking so much" lol. Yeah go'n head and give it to me. He tells me to lay back and he gets on top with my legs on his shoulders. This has got to be like the universal pose for commencement of sex or something because some way or another it always starts with my legs on someone's shoulders. God sometimes I hate car sex. In certain positions you spend more time trying to find a comfortable position than you actually do having sex! We did the legs on shoulders thing for a minute,  I got on top and rode him, then wedged myself between the front seat and his legs with my head sticking out the sunroof. I rode him like that using the sunroof for leverage, praying the cops didn't drive by again. He pulled me back in the car and we tried to 69 as best we could. I always feel a little weird with my ass in a dudes face no matter how clean it is...I think at some point he even stuck his finger in my ass which made me laugh.
Anyways he was just a peach eating machine that night. I honestly think he gave more than he received that night. At one point we tried doing it from the back in the car but alas we only have a certain allotted space so he got out while I was on all fours on the seat. He clearly wasn't happy with this because he pulled me out the car and bent me over the hood. As exciting as it was I was kinda paranoid about his mom, the neighbors the cops, ect. It didn't help my nerves much when he turned me over and pushed my ass up on the hood and fucked me with my legs on his shoulders again. There was no way in hell I could play of what we were doing if someone were to catch us. But it felt so good! My main focus was trying not to slip off the car and to enjoy the shit. He pulled out and I got back in the car and he wanted me to give him head while he was standing. I did what I was told and he skull fucked the shit out my head. Usually if I deep throat I do it once and keep doing it regular but with his hand on my head he did it a good five times before I had him pull out before I threw up. He said he wanted some special oral attention to the boys once again I did what I was told. In the middle of all this he asks me where my vodka gummy bears were. Uh...in the front seat but where did that come from? He took a mouthful of gunmies and went back to giving me head. Thank god I didn't get a yeast infection from that lol never put food on the cookie. After a while he stops and I ask him what's wrong. He tells me we can either go into his room and be quiet or finish handling biz on the futon in the garage. Why weren't we in there in the first place?!
He walks across the street and I slap on a lil minty lube on my vag, put his t-shirt on and run across the street. Back in the garage it didn't take much. I thought we were gonna go back to having sex but he went down on me again and licked away whatever lube I had down there. He got back on top, then I rode reverse cowgirl. For the finale I turned on the light of my phone and let him watch as I threw my ass back into him (he said he had never...). Then as quickly as I had started bam he pulled out and before I could even react it shot out like ten feet and landed in my hair!!! I kept saying "it fees like a wet paintbrush now" because the end of my ponytail was covered in nut, as was my back and my ass. He thought it was funny and called himself a shooter. I wiped my air off the best I could and he wiped me down. He let me run back to my car with his shirt on so I didn't have to dart across the street naked and we parted ways. What an interesting Wednesday night.

The Happenis clone is being weird.
Happenis is apparently in town and is still ignoring me.
I haven't had sex since then.
This sucks.

I woudn't be surprised if I had a gummy bear stuck in my canal.
Miss Sixxxy, your very own freak of the industryy

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Play Your Cards Right...

I. Fucking. HATE. That cliche ass phrase. Who do you think you are? The only time I want to hear that shit is if Tupac and Keyshia Cole are doing a duet. But more on that in a minute. I took last weekend off and tramped the entire time...smh. Let's break it down into three parts, shall we?

FIRST SHIFT
"Back then they didn't want me. Now I'm hot they all on me" no truer words have ever been spoken Mike Jones (who?!?!). Its amazing the power a pair of tits holds. Everyone who ignored me in high school all of a sudden want to hang out. One guy in particular I had in an art class. I was a senior, he was a sophomore. A cute one at that. He was really quiet, and every time i turned around to talk to him and hi friend he'd always give me this nervous type laugh like "bitch if you don't turn your ass around and let me paint..." So it never got far. Then out of nowhere he adds me on fb. I immediately posted on his wall "YOU HATED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!" and he goes on an on about how he never hated me blah blah blah asking me how my butt and boobs got bigger. I really didn't have time for it so I was like what do you want?He wanted to hang out (of course) and I told him he never wanted to hang out in high school. "Well I was a little boy back then". Hun, you're STILL a little boy to me now. He was kinda annoying, texting me things like "Would you ever show me a picture of your butt??" or "can you strip for me?" Like couldn't sext worth a damn. So I stopped replying. My friend was in my ear about how I should give him a chance and she heard he puts it down (HAH!!!) and I just couldn't get over this pedo feeling I had. Finally we arranged to have this blind date type meet up and he was too excited.

"Are you going to hang out with so and so? If so I'm with her:)"
"Are you still coming??"

Ugh. SHUT UP!!!!! When I got there he came outside and gave me a hug, then didn't say shit else to me the entire night. Huh? He let this guy who kinda looks and acts EXACTLY like Happenis. Fucking CRAZY! He made me take a shot of gin with him and this is where the night starts going downhill. More on him later tho. It was clear ol' Ninito over there wasn't going to make a move, and I had Sexsomniac on my line wanting to play BP, so I excused myself for the evening. But not before Happenis Jr. and I exchanged numbers. Highway robbery biatch! Po' lil' tink tink also known as Ninito gave me another hug before I left, for what reason, idk...and I went to see Sexsomniac.

SECOND SHIFT
I met up with Sexsomniac at the grocery store and it looked like he was walking with a fat skinhead, which would've been weird since he was Mexican...Upon further inspection it was none other than Mr. Dunlap! And another short cholo OG  Mexican which I found out was his dad...who was pissy ass drunk. I wish he'd warn me when I'm about to meet people in his family>:/ His dad comes up to me telling me "Mija you're so beautiful, mijo, who's this pretty lady?" He grabbed my hand to shake it and held on it a tad bit too long. Under normal circumstances I'd be creeped the fuck out but since this was his daddy I was being nice. He starts asking what kind of music I like and if I have a boyfriend and whatnot...then offers me a beer. I don't drink beer so I decline, telling him I only drink liquor. He spots my Smirnoff bottle and asks for a shot. I always respect my elders, drunk or not. So even though I didn't want to, I gave him one anyways. We were all waiting on my brother to arrive so we could go to this party and I'm telling you he couldn't have come soon enough! Or so I thought. Even though Mr. Dunlap had PLENTY of room in his car they made the drunk daddy ride with me, who's telling me the entire ride to the house "Mija if anyone gives you shit you just tell me and I'll handle it." Sir, you're the ONLY one giving me shit.
We pull up to the house and lo an behold what do ya know it's that prick who tried molesting me in my sleep's house! I stayed for like 2.5 seconds and then dipped when they asked if I could take the drunk daddy home. HELL NO. I couldn't figure out why Sexsomniac wasn't paying  me much attention until my brother told me he met ANOTHER girl with the same name and he though I was her. Welp. That explains a lot. Bitch.

THIRD SHIFT
Final destination of the night, I made it alive and sober. Think back a couple of blogs when I was talking about having sex with the guy who yelled "oh no quickieeeeee" when we were having sex? Well yeah he redeemed himself that night. Much to my pleasure.
I ended up drinking a few cocktails, then making a McDonalds run for a frozen strawberry lemonade just to add more vodka to it. Next thing I know I was holding up walls and throwing up. Apparently I fell a couple times, spilled my drink during King's Cup & some more shit...smh. As the night went on the drunker I got and me and lets call him......Goblin for now because he likes Odd Future. Well anyways we go to his room and the whole way there he keeps slapping me on the ass asking where did all my ass come from (apparently my ass got bigger and people are taking note). I don't remember what the fuck I was talking about, except after he shut the door and put music on I remember him telling me "Okay how about you shut up and make out with me". I just do as I'm told lol. He pushed me on the bed and got on top for a little bit, and I don't remember if I took my top off first or if he took my shorts off first all I remember is we were naked. He reached into the nightstand and shit went ALL THE WAY the fuck down. On my back I propped my legs on his shoulders for leverage and away he went. Everything is kinda a blur honestly. He wasn't much of a talker, except when he told me it was my turn to be on top lol. Cowgirl, to reverse cowgirl, to back on my back. Then he did something no one had ever done to me before. He bitch slapped me across the fucking face! Like 3 times. And weirdly enough...I kinda liked it. It caught me so off guard, and he was so in the moment...Intense shit right there. He rolled me on my stomach and it was over. I can't remember who was in the house or if anyone else heard me but I don't think me smothering my face with a pillow helped much. It felt THAT fucking amazing. Like Happenis status I can't remember a time when I got close to seeing stars like that. He had his nails dug into my hips pretty deep while he was handling business and all of a sudden he pushed me across the bed! Guess someone was finished! Glad he pulled out cause with all that vigorous stroking the condom broke. Thank God for depo and negative test results! He just kept saying "I pulled out....I pulled out" over and over again...turned me around, said "that was intense" and kissed me before going to get a towel out of the closet. I was in a lust stricken daze. Once I came to I wiped myself off, then started to wipe the sheets and he was like "No!! You blot the cum you never rub it!!!" Well hey, learn something new every day...Went to sleep and woke up with the worst alcohol poisoning ever. I threw up like 3 more times, and since I had thrown up my fries the night before, I had nothing left but stomach acid to throw up. It was terrible. I couldn't even keep water down.

"Who's in the bathroom is Ricky taking a dump?"
"No that drunk girl is in there...throwing up...again..."

After a while we got up, he made me some soup, and then I promised I'd buy him another bottle of mouthwash and then left. Now I wanted to bang him again a few hours later after I recovered, but he seemed a lil distant. Nothing weird there. Then Sunday night I debated on texting him for a round two. We all know how I get about asking for dick. I hate rejection with a passion whether I'm asking you to lunch or for some dick. Curly Fries tells me to just do it cause all guys love when girls beg for the peen. I decided to do it. I just told him I'd be up for a round two and you know what he told me?

"Yeah the other night was great. Maybe if you play your cards right you can have a round two..."

JIGGA WHAT?! JIGGA WHO?! Wait wait wait what the fuck just happened there?! TF does that even mean?! Sorry but when it comes to me asking for sex "Maybe" and "play your cards right" are two things I don't wanna fucking hear!!! That ultimately just pissed me off so I didn't even text back. Bullfuckingshit I tell you...Swear to god good reliable dick is such a hard thing to come by these days. I just wanna fuck you all day you idiot. And I mean that in the nicest way possible if you're reading this. I think we can all make time in our day to have sex at least once. But I damn digress. Shit. Of course any wonderful drought ending such as this always has to have a sucky ass ending. Fuck. Shit. Balls. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel that was an easy let down like "yeah bitch, I killed your shit. Don't be expecting a damn thing from me". But he's such a sweet guy when I'm around him what the fuck is going on?!

Mental note to self: Don't ask guys for sex. Ever. They don't like that shit.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Thursday, May 10, 2012

PORN.

I haven't been getting my stupid semi-weekly dose of dick and it's really starting to show. I haven't had great full body spasm sex since January. .I got close in March, but that was ruined. And I haven't had sex for over a month now. I am seriously going fucking bananas over here. I don't think the shit is fair. Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to go out during the week and meet people. That's my main problem I have no new work. And I can't go meet new work if I don't go out, right? But really the only time people wanna do shit is on the weekends when I'm shaking my ass for dollas. (Sorry if there are funky ass lookin words. Blogging from the netbook and sometimes this bitch decides not to put the letters even when I press them and right this second I'm too lazy to go back and proof read). I've only found one cute classmate, and even then he's kind of a nerd and slowly losing his sex appeal the longer we go without hooking up. I might give him a shot when the semester is over...fingers fucking crossed that it's more than halfway decent but less than amazeballs cause he's leaving a month after school ends and it would suck if the sex was great and he just up and left...

Anyways all the Einsteins out there seem to think masturbation is my cure all end all. Let me just say I'm about thisclose to going fucking blind from all these sucky ass elf induced orgasms. I don't need to JUST have an orgasm I need to go HAM on a dick, I need my back blown the fuck out and slapped around a bit and all that good shit. If someone ever saw me tryna do that shit to myself I'd probably be admitted into the nut house. Anyways I've been watching a fuck ton of porn lately and recently decided to switch it up from Girl Girl porn back to Boy Girl porn. The first porn I watched was BG and it was cool for a minute but aside from the money shots they got kinda boring. Then I started noticing things people watching porn trying to get off shouldn't notice. That's how I knew it was time to switch it up.

BOY GIRL PORN
Okay so my main question is where are all the attractive male porn stars? Doing gay porn:( Sucks in porn that as a guy you really don't need anything but a big dick and some stamina. I hate staring at ugly guys when I'm tryna get off. How the fuck am I supposed to get off on that shit when I can't get past that ugly ass mug?? Not to mention the sex faces make it sooooo much worse. I've come across a couple cute soft core actors, but then there was that whole thing about me not bein able to see how big their dicks were, or even if they were even sticking it in. I hated that shit about soft core but w/e...But mostly, the actors are pretty ugly. The main focus is on the women, which I like, but shit. Aside from Brian Pumper's ass I can't think of any cute actors:/
Then here's my weirdo ass problem. When The camera pans behind the actor fucking the chick, I'm WAAAAY too interested in his ass area. And not in an "Oh, that turns me on" way, but more of a "What the fuck is going on down there" way. First off it always looks like they're pinching in a fart the entire time. Loosen up a bit! No one is coming for your booty hole on this set. Then The gooch area bothers me to no end. The anatomy just won't register in my head. Like I'm well aware dudes don't have vaginas for obvious reasons but looking at the strip between their balls and ass...then looking down at what I've got...My mind = just BLOWN. I might sound like an idiot but I don't care right now I have questions lol. Then I wonder how clean their booty holes are because I've HEARD some men like having that area pressed down with a knuckle...I just can't see myself blindly tryna finger it, I might miss...or see something I shouldn't see nor even want to see and the mood is killed. Idk...Then sometimes they have a very interesting hair pattern on their legs, like little afro beady beads...distracting. I like hairless apes, but that's just me.Then I notice when They stand and thrust I swear it's like one of their balls disappears. Cause I only see one mackin' and hangin' whackin ol girl in the ass. Does their body like suck up the other teste? Or am I just trippin? But I could've sworn he started with two...Whatever. I also think there is way too much oral going on but then again I guess that's not for me anyways. Blow him once in the beginning and once in the end please.
The money shot is good in my book EXCEPT when he finishes in her ass and the camera just waits for her butt to push it out. That shit just makes me want to throw up and die.
Lastly I have a question about ebony porn (I hate that they call it that. You can tell who watches a lot of porn when they say shit like "She's such a pretty ebony girl." Who the fuck says that shit lol) Okay I Don't watch too many scenes if the chick has a purple vag (just a preference don't shoot me gad damnit) and NO black girls aren't the only ones with em. Mine isn't purple at all it's still kinda pinkish, while my baby mama is Mexican an Filipino an hers is suuuuper purple. Don't ask me how I know and don't tell her I told you lol. BUT it does eliminate a lot of them. And the ones I do watch the girls are always ratchet ass fuck with weird ass bodies. They're either built like a 12 year old boy or one big mac away from being obese calling herself thick. Girl if you don't take your big ass to BBW...It's like they just randomly started pulling bitches off the street. I have some faves tho...
I love love love Lacey Duvall...even if she went and got what appears to be ass shots on me:/ All I'm gonna say is when she did that scene with Pinky a while back in the blue fishnet getup she was pretty small...then I saw her do a scene with this dude where she was wearing purple fishnet thingies and her ass just looked...off...and not in a oh I just gained some weight and it just happened to go to my ass type way either. But that's all Ima say about that...She has an AMAZING rack...I'm low key jealous of it. I wonder if she went and had a revision tho cause they looked kinds bigger in that same video and we all know she has augmented breasts anyways...Her face is also easy on the yes she doesn't have that ratchet look to her whatsoever.
We got Jemini too. I first saw her in a threesome scene with Roxy Reynolds and some dude...She's also easy on the eyes. Ehh I like Roxy but I don't go looking for scenes with her specifically in it...The first scene I saw her in she was screaming bloody murder and it turned me the fuck off I had to mute that shit.

I also like Jada Fire...too bad she retired this year:/














GIRL GIRL PORN
Probably will always be my fave. It's just something I've never engaged in myself so it's exciting to watch. UNLESS it's just them eating each other out. It gets boring reaaaaaal quick like can you bitches do anything else?! I can only watch you spit on her cooch and finger her so many times before I get mad. I like skinny chicks with big ass tittays. small waists, and somewhat of an ass. You don't have to be able to suffocate your partner if you sit on their face tho, just a little something....But yeah there's gotta be some scissoring or some toys involved. If there's none of that what the fuck am I watching for? I'm tryna live out a fantasy here and oral sex and fingering are NOT included in that fantasy. I have no interest whatsoever in going down on another girl, never look a gift horse in the asshole. And I can get a dude to finger and eat me out so...it's gotta be something a man isn't capable of. Except when it comes to straps. If I found me a bad ass chick I'd let her strap me down. Especially if she had nice boobs. While Pinky is def a lil bigger than I like em her and Sasha Grey gets down on the straps I'd both let them give it to me...but enough about me lol
I know what I like and I really don't have too many complaints about GG porn. Except when a pretty girl has a bush:( insta buzz kill.

I also had a question about the consistency of semen...I've seen it shoot onto a girl's face and land like silly putty or a squishy booger and it just looks nasty. I can just imagine a guy cumming in my mouth and it's sticking to my gums or the roof of my mouth AFTER I swallow. I like mine kinda runny as gross as it may sound. I only swallow with what's his face and his is kinda runny. I just notice it goes down better...but that could be because I like his sex so much that I just do it as a courtesy. But there are some guys that just make me instantly gag as soon as it hits my mouth. Sorry if you think the faces I make or the fact I immediately spit that shit out hurts your feelings but oh well...it also makes clean up easier. If I can feel it running down wherever I can clean it up instead of putting my pants on and feeling it all slimy across my ass and jeans. Or worse, have to tell my mom it's just dried drool when I miss a spot on my face. Or even worse than that having it in MY HAIR. I will cut your balls off if you nut in my hair.Go anywhere else but my eyes and hair.

Anyways...it's getting late and I'm sexually frustrated. I'm probably going to watch some porn and handle business and pretend that it helps. When all I really want is for him to stop acting like such a douche bag asshole and just be able to have fun sex again. Because I can't find anyone else who does it like him. Believe me I've tried ad I'm getting more and more discouraged with all these failed missions...

The CraigsList blog is taking a little longer than expected. I finished my part but Curly Fries is determined to get a real girl to respond to him, so we'll see what happens lol

Sexsomniac ruined out little measley ass once a month bang session. I'm sad. I think he got back with his ex but I don't want to feel like a hussy and ask him to fork over some peen, He has my number and if he wants it he has it. But damnit...

Miss Sixxxty, your lonely ass sexually frustrated freak of the industryy