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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Threesome Etiquette:)

I got a suggestion for a blog today to write on proper threesome etiquette.


That is something Miss Sixxxty can say she hasn't done yet. Regardless, I'm here to offer my words of wisdom:)
Let's get started

First things first, everyone needs to be on board. Generally speaking, its usually the guy who wants to introduce a third party into the bedroom. And the girl takes offense, like "What, am I not enough woman for you??" That is NOT the case. Its just about exploring a fantasy and he wants you to be a part of that. I personally don't see anything wrong with it, but if you are along the lines of "hell to the naw", let your partner know why you're not about to partake in such activities. After talking it out you may have a change of heart. But if not, to each his own.

Miss Sixxxty's How To on Threesomes (and foursomes, fivesomes...ect.)
Once everyone is on board, discuss the things that can and cannot happen, ie how much interaction is going on. What I mean by this is let's say your girlfriend agrees, on the condition she doesn't have to give the other girl head, or you don't want him to give her head an then kiss you..things of that nature.

Now that we have the technicalities out the way, it's time to pick a partner (or 3). Maybe you have some friends who would be interested in being a third n your bedroom olympics? Just realize if you have a threesome with a friend, unless its going to be an ongoing thing, there's going to be some awkwardness after the fact.
Maybe you don't want your uber conservative friends to know about what you like in the bedroom. There's always an alternative your (skeevy) neighborhood craigslist. Under "Causal Encounters" you click on what you're looking for: mw, wm, mwm, mww, ww, mt, ('T' stands for transgender, btw) there you can post an ad or browse ads. Some people even post pics. From there you take your pick. I don't advise Craigslist be the first place you go looking for your 3rd person, but if you decide to use it I would say meet the person IN person, have dinner or something, BEFORE the activities. If you're posting an ad, BE SPECIFIC. Explain that you guys are looking for a short, thin brunette with a big ass, or a svelte swede with huge tits and is properly landscaped. Use either your email or the one craisglist provides you. Common sense should tell you not to post up your number.

Now that we have some candidates lined up, the next step is choosing the right one. This is a sensitive area. Be careful to not pick someone who is "more attractive" than your partner unless you both agree. If you don't, the other person will think this is just some excuse to cheat on you with your beautiful neighbor and people get their feelings hurt. There's also a feeling of inadequacy tied into it too. Noone wants to keep comparing themselves to their 3rd party, it takes away the fun from the moment.

Random Thought: I've always thought about threesomes, and how I would go about the whole situation. I've been asked to be in a threesome with two guys, and one guy and a girl. I think if it was with another girl...if she wants to go down on me, then I'm not objecting. I just don't think I'm ready to lick some vagina. I love dick too much to cheat on him. So she can eat me while I give him head, or she can ride his face while I ride him. We can give him oral x2. The possibilities are nearly endless. As far as with two dudes...hmm...I don't think I could focus on two dicks at once:)

Once you guys have had your fun, and everyone is all sweaty and sex fonky, comes dismissal time. Is (s)he gonna leave promptly after the festivities conclude? Are you guys just gonna spoon until the sun comes up? Discuss this beforehand. Noone wants to overstay their welcome.
"Well THAT was fun! I'm tired..."
"Uh, you need us to call you a cab?"


I mean that's all I can really come up with...the basics.

I've only gotten one email (sadness) but I guess you guys make up for it in DM's so I can't complain. But the email is there
I'm juss sayin...

Tonight's homework has nothing to do with threesomes, but I just thought it'd be fun.

Courtesy of
I really REALLY need to get my issue...This position, I could throw my head back an he could suck on my neck. Mmm...

Hope y'all are keepin up on your homework:)
Miss Sixxxty, you very own freak of the industryy

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Penises && Piercings (Pt. II)

Penises && Piercings Pt. I

Babes an Gents, how are you?
Hope you've been spreading the word:)
We here (well, just me) are trying to get the word out, cause maybe I want my own site off blogger damnit.
Lol so I let you guys pick the topic tonight and I got penises and vaggie piercings (vaggie sounds like a sandwhich)
So first off, lemme start with my babes (Ladies first:) )

Basically my favorite things in the whole wide world! We all know I have about 16, but they don't travel beyond my hips. But after this blog...idk...I'm contemplating.

This piercing, while cute and relatively safe, seems like it would be a little bitch come landscaping time. This was the one I wanted but since I'm keen on shaving, idk how well this woulda worked out.

This is the vertical clitoral hood. And this looks legit. This is the one I'm contemplating. Relatively the safest (nowhere near your urethra aka your pee hole) and the most fun (the back of the ring/banana bar rubs against your clit)

***CORRECTION*** the fourchette piercing is not what I previously assumed. It is a rather small piercing, it doesn't start at the clit and go all the way down to the anus. Its a guiche piercing, if you get what I'm saying. There's an area @ the bottom of the vulva where the inner labias come together. The piercing goes through there and comes out the strip of skin that leads to the anus (the "guiche"). I've also heard it referred to as a "taint" ie "it t'aint your vagina & it t'aint your anus."

This may be the scariest of them all. This goes THROUGH the clit. The area has tons of nerve endings, so I imagine this hurts the worst!!! And there is a chance you may lose sensitivity if its done wrong. Uhh, idk about you, but I like my pleasure box,and if I have to risk the wonderful things it does for ma'am.

Probably the easiest, less painful and less risky of them all.

Pretty much self explanatory. Goes through the urethra and out the vagina. OUCH.
She's a tad hairy around the anus...

...I should really get paid for this...

Now of course I can't forget my gents!
I apologize to my gents rockin the foreskin in advance.
Something about foreskin creeps me out. I don't like having to pull it back (hence the name "pull back").
It reminds me of a hot link, with the little frayed edges. And I just don't like the way they look.
Outta all the penises I've seen, I've only seen 3 uncut ones: My friend Sir Walt, my client, and Goose.
Idk maybe I'm freaked out because they're not something you see everyday...
I have a funny story about Sir Walt:

Sir Walt and I went to high school together and one day at lunch it came out that he was uncircumcised. I asked him, maybe more like demanded he show me. And idk if it was because he was soft but it looked like a limp sausage and I squealed. Well after a few days of teasing, Walt announces he's getting circumcised. At 18. And he actually went through with it!!! Stitches and all, Walt was a cut man. I just hope our teasing wasn't to blame. And since the foreskin protects the head, the head is really sensitive because it isn't rubbing on your boxers all day. So Walt enjoyed his newfound sensitivity. I wonder if its worn off yet...

But I'll pick a cut sausage over an uncut one anyday.

I'm feelin a lil lazy tonight, so he can do all the work;)

Courtesy of
Love you much,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Saturday, May 22, 2010

T.O.N.y. Pt. II

Say hello to T.O.N.y. everyone:)
Even though I hate his guts right about now, I thought I'd spare him the humiliation of drawing X's over both eyes and drawing a frown on his face.
Gotta be mature:)

But I hate hate HATE bein lied to.
Now I have to mack blast his ass.
I'd like to assume you guys read the first T.O.N.y. blog, but in case you haven't, I suggest you read it so there is no confusion.

Rarely do I smash something once. Usually its a continual thing. Until either i tire of you, or you fall off the face of the earth.
Which is what happened to T.O.N.y.
I figure, if the sex was good, there's no reason not to call back.
If I had a great time with you, I'm callin back so we can do it again!
And again!!!
I mean while he was so-so, I know I hopped my hot ass up on that stage and performed my ass off!!! (In reference to the Trey Songz song "Are You A Performer". The answer to that is, YES THEE FUCK I AM.)
I made sure i did my job, and did it well.
And he seemed to enjoy it!
So I couldn't figure out just what the fuck was going on!

I was perusing FB last night, looking @ some old friends pages, who all happened to have kids (just bein nosey, I wanted to see the babes!)
And they all thought I'd be the first one knocked up...
Anywhoo, I remember him telling me he played football with some dudes I went to high school with , so I was bound to see him in SOMEone's mutual friends.
Aaaaaand I did.
There is my answer as to why he didn't call back.

Last I checked I was a grown ass woman.
And last I checked he was a grown ass man.
So why the fuck did he fail to mention the fact that he had a girlfriend?!

Gents: Under what circumstances to you not tell someone you're about to fuck that you have a girlfriend

I mean I just don't understand it?
Is there a problem with honesty?
I'd think you'd wanna make it known that you have a girlfriend, so that the other girl doesn't go crazy puttin you on blast, tryna trap you with pregnancies, and make your girlfriend's life a living hell!
(BTW I wouldn't do ANY of these things, these are the things people from my school have done)
I mean give me the chance to decide whether I wanna be a home wreckin hussie if I want to!
Let me weigh the pros and cons, shit!
If I had known he had a girlfriend beforehand that woulda automatically let me know "This is strictly sex".
Even if his ol' dumb ass had candles lit and blew up MY phone tryna kick it with me the day after I met him.
Sometimes I think to myself, "Damn I shoulda just fucked him that first night so he wouldn't have had to do all those lovely things for me and make me feel special."
Lol that's what my friends don't get about me; my ability to separate sex from emotions.
I can sleep with you and not get emotionally attached, and if you fuck up, you've just reached the point of no return. So you can kiss this ass goodbye.
But T.O.N.y. was different because he was doing shit you don't do. Instead of texting me the night that he wanted to hang out with me, he texted me throughout the week, just chatting me up, sending pics an all that.
If we're on booty call status, the only time you should be texting me is when you need me, not any other time!
Which is just like my phone: Nights and Weekends are free. During the day on weekdays your ass is asking for trouble.

I guess I can find SOME comfort in knowing that my skills aren't to blame (it had been a while, makin sure I wasn't rusty lol)
Guess what I'm sayin is, don't lie to me, and if you do you better hope I don't find out.
Cause he has forgotten that he gave me directions to both his parents and his house.
Now he's lucky I'm not some crazed psychotic bitch who's obsessed with him.
But the sex was blah anyways, so I'm not really trippin now. The truth is out.
i woulda only kept him around cause he was beautiful:)

Moving right along...
I'll leave you with some angry homework, since I'm feeling a tad angry right now...

Courtesy of
No, that's not a typo. I picked this one because I'd rather not see his face right about now. Lemme see what's on TV...

Drop me a line && make sure to follow me on twitter @MissSixxxty

Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryy

Friday, May 21, 2010

Miss Sixxxty Answers Some Questions:)

Now that my blog is picking up some steam you guys have been letting the questions pour in. And I will make it my civic duty to answer them, no matter how bizzare, nasty, or kinky they are:) Here we go...

Q: Can you write about girls doing guys with strap-ons?
This phenomenon is known as "pegging". I don't necessarily think your man's gay if he asks you to peg him, I mean seriously. If he was he woulda went to a gay bar and had sex with some random dude. He's just sexually open and wants to explore new things with you. Although I must admit I would be shocked if a dude wanted me to fuck him. Just not something you come across everyday. But anyways...anal offers a man a different type of orgasm, one that can only be achieved by stimulating the prostate, which, lo and behold, is near the rectum. Basically its the guy version of a G-Spot, same general location (towards the belly). So depending on how far you'll go to please your partner you can stick a finger or two to find it. If he's comfortable with that, then you can suggest pegging. If you let a finger wander back there and he looks like a deer caught in headlights, do not pass go. Do not collcet 200 dollars.

Q: What about sex on our periods?
I'm not gon lie, I've had sex on my period twice because I really needed my issue. I hated that boys only seemed to wanna sex on me when I was on the rag. Thankfully my flow was light enough to where I could pop in a tamp and remove it right before the festivities took place. But then I would have to stop all the action to hurry up and remove it cause the LAST thing I want him to do is to stick his finger in my panties and feel a string. But now I'm on Depo-Provera so my period is light and only comes every 3 months.
I've heard you can use the cup (an alternative to pads and tamps) and you can have sex without him noticing. But no wild animalistic fucking.
Or you may be fortunate enough to have a man who doesn't care. You tell him Aunt Flo is here and he lays a towel on the bed lol.
A babe shared a story with me today:

"Used to have a Bf that enjoyed crotch to mouth blood transfusions...FUCKING awesome!!! This Bf would come up from down & it would be like I shot him in the face, I'd be like, you ok he'd be like, don't sweat it."


Q: What's the best way to last during oral and regular sex?
As far as head goes, I would say think of your parents going at it. If that's not enough to make your member deflate, then you have other issues. You can always pull out and return the favor, or if that's not your thing, kiss her (death to the weenies who won't kiss a girl after she gives him head).
Now during sex, you can try to think of other things, but a better way would be to frequently change positions. The time it takes you to switch should calm you down a bit and buy you some time. My BFF Cece told me dudes can jack off beforehand, cause it always takes longer to bust that second nut. True?

Q: What are some good songs to play?
Depends on the kind of sex you like. I like rough sex, so I have a lot of Plies, Ludacris, Trina, things of that nature. Now I have a simple playlist on the blog, but I consider those songs more foreplay/lap dance songs. I could give a mean lap dance to that playlist, but then if we're having rough sex the moods just don't match=/. But you can't go wrong with some Keith Sweat, H-Town, J Holiday. Matter fact, just put the "Confessions" CD on shuffle. Insta-panty droppin music.

Q: What do you think about ladies who will give money to a stripper but not their man?
What do you think about men who will give their money to a stripper and not their girlfriend? If you can spend money on a stripper and not your significant other, you guys need to reevaluate the relationship.

Q: Threesome etiquette?
I'll be dedicating a whole blog on this:) Stay tuned...

Q: Best way to prevent pregnancy?
Birth control and abstinence.

Those are all the questions I've gotten so far, but make sure to leave your questions/comments/concerns @ or hit me up via TWITTER @MissSixxxty.

Tonight's homework...the simplicity tuns me on.
Or maybe the drought's doing that to me...anyways here it is

Courtesy of
I need a piece of furniture small enough for me to straddle so I can do this one...

Besos para mis mujeres y hombres:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Joys of Oral:)

Pretty self explanatory, right?
"Those that give shall receive."
What just amazes me is you have dudes who will pressure a girl sooo much to get her to give him oral, but if she asks for oral he goes off trying to make the girl look stupid "Hell nah you must be out yo fuckin' mind. That's fucking disgusting"
Fine, if you don't want to do it, and you're set in your ways, so be it.
But don't think you should have any right to demand a girl give you head if you're not willing to return the favor.
That was my mini rant of the night, now on to the good stuff:)

I'm clearly writing this part for my ladies, so I'm willing to look through my repertoire and share a few tips and tricks with you guys:)

FIRST OFF, you have to be in the mindset to wanna do it. No guy wants a half assed blow job. Think about Lil'Kim:

"I used to be scared of the dick; now I throw lips to the shit, handle it, like a real bitch."

That's the mindset you need.

You can start at the lips, down the neck, down the chest, and then a few teasing kisses around his dick (For those who are scared to just whip it out and go to town lol). And you don't have to take the whole thing at first. Just start with kissing the head, a few licks, then get to sucking. Like I said in my other blog, don't be scared to use your hands while you're giving head. And teeth? Some dudes like it, most I know don't. Don't be so overzealous that you forget and bite him. You may incite a violent reaction. #NoBueno.

***What I like to do if I'm in front of him, I use my hand along with my mouth, alternating between licks and sucks. I'll occasionally suck all the way to the tip, it makes this *pop* noise when I bring my mouth off of it. Then I make a tight fist @ the base and pull down so the skin is taut, and flick my tongue sideways across the frenulum (aka that skinny strip of skin on the other side of the head.)
***Or if I'm sitting on top of him then that allows me to use my free hand to tickle zee testicles lol. I stroke em, squeeze em (not too tightly tho).

Confession: if his balls are shaved, I'm always tempted to lick them...idk why...but then again I've only come across one guy who's junk was completely shaved. Noone wants to lick hairy balls, FYI...

I always get a question about this...
All I can really say is you can't have a sensitive gag reflex (I envy women with little to no gag reflex)
But if you wanna do it, I have a little cheat:)

Comfortably Numb is my best friend. It works:) Just make sure you use it a little beforehand. It takes a while to fully take the numbing effect.
Then what I do is I lay on the bed, with my head dangling over the edge. Then he stands in front of me and Viola! No embarrassing gags:)

Okay, so you're doing one helluva job, he's into it. REALLY into it.
Moaning, heavy breathing, he's practically fucking your face. Uh-oh, this means semen is coming!!! What do you do?!
Please, please, PLEASE determine where the um, "projectile" is going to go beforehand.
Your gent is NOT mind reader. If you don't speak up, he may just assume you want it in your mouth.

FYI to the Gents: you should ask ahead of time, cause if you don't and you proceed you release, she may just bite your penis off.

I don't and I won't ever swallow. Non-negotiable. Sorry. That's just me though. Some girls like the taste of cum (See Kat Stacks). If you wanna finish in my mouth, fine. Just don't expect me to eat your kids for breakfast. That said, there are alternatives that I'm cool with, ie body shots. It would also be an added bonus if you wiped me down afterwards too lol.
***One thing to do is to suck EXTRA hard while he's cumming. He will thank you. Trust me.

I don't want her to think I suck dick at eating pussy.
Hahaha it happens...
For those who are man enough to admit they like eating pussy (and the secretly closeted few) I have some advice to offer. Things that I know I like:
***When you rock your face from side to side. I had someone do this on a cold day and the warmth from his face felt AWESOME.
***Don't be afraid to tongue fuck her. Its a different feeling and bet she's never had it done properly.
***Some girls like to have their lips sucked on. Don't be shy:)
***If you're down there and just completely clueless ass to what to do, spell her name with your tongue, suck a few times, then spell your name, repeat. It's foolproof.

Things NOT to do:
***Blow air in her. You will kill her with a deadly air embolism. And we don't want that.
***Use your teeth. For the same reason you don't like teeth scraping across your dick.
***Treat my clit like a PlayStation joystick. Stop mashing and trying to rotate it. Its sensitive and that shit hurts. You are not playing a game of Grand Theft Auto, you're trying to please me.

FLASHBACK: I was having car sex one night, and when he went down on me he slid two fingers in me and did this "Come hither" thing with his fingers an sucked on my clit at the same time...AMAZEBALLS!!! Stroking the G-Spot (they DO exist. Well, at least MINE does...) and clitoral stimulation? Good for you, Glen Coco.

If you're being a weenie about giving head to your girlfriend though, please refer to "Miss Sixxxty Gives Advice"

What else...
Oh yeah!

The vibrating tongue ring:)
Don't let the name fool you.
The vibrations are powerful as hell, some people can't handle having it in their mouths.
You can always give the same effect by humming, And if you don't wanna sound stupid while you do it, have some mood music playing in the background:)
And you can't replace the battery (at least not in this one) so you have to keep buying more when the battery dies.

Can't think of anything else I care to share...
He knows who he is, he made my day:)
Send me more emails @

In honor of tonight's topic, I will bless you with two hw assignments:

For the babes:

Courtesy of
Heeeeey, it has a name!

For the Gents:

Courtesy of
I'd like to have my hands planted on a wall to brace myself

Happy munching:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry

Monday, May 17, 2010

...And The Worst Of Times...

So I thought it would only be fitting if I blogged about the best sex ever...that I would have to recount the worst.

You guys remember The Big Carl right? well, after out falling out, his roommate tried to get at me (that will be another blog in itself...smh). So the friend, we shall call him The Trollop, invited me to some Kappa party and I went cause I didn't have shit else to do...
I'm there, dancin it up, havin a good ol' time and I keep gettin texts like

"Where ru?"
"Is that ya boo?"
"y u keep leavin?"
"where u go?"

Just bein annoying as hell for no damn reason. So I ran into this dude, he was cute, and he had braces (I like guys with braces #DontJudgeMe) so I danced with him. Then you got the Trollop askin me when am I gon be finished dancing with him (negro please, you are NOT my man!).
I talked to the boy, we shall call him Goose, found out he was a kicker for the local college's football team, and we exchanged numbers and made plans to meet later.
First I had to get rid of the Trollop who was questioning my motives and my plans for later that evening (remember: he is NOT my boyfriend!!!) and finally I just shut my phone off.
Met up with Goose, and that's where it went downhill, and not in a good way.

So I get to his apt, and I notice there is someone passed out on the couch (this seems to be a common theme...) and we go to his room.
Junky as hell, first off. You don't invite someone over with your room looking like that!!! Clothes strewn about, blankets off the bed...I guess I should be happy he had least had a sheet on the bed...
Blah blah blah, he was a lil drunk, I was a lil horny, so after the convo he kissed me.
A really sloppy wet one.
He shoved his tongue all the way in my mouth, as if he was curious to see what my tonsils tasted like! Then he thought he would sexily suck on my bottom felt like he was tryna rip it off my face!
Y'all remember that scene from Next Friday? (skip to 8:30)

That's how my lip felt.
And he did it REPEATEDLY.
The next thing I knew he was undressing me. So he gets undressed and...*sigh* he's average but he has a fucking turtle!!!! Yucky yucky yucky ewwwwwww...I don't DO turtles!!! I really feel everyone should be circumsized, there's no real health benefit forkeepng foreskin, except your penis may be a tad more sensitive. Chop it off.
So I gave him a lil head, you know to help get him UP, and then I asked if he had a condom

"Oh, I don't do well with condoms" (you don't do well with your penis, either)
Let the awkward sex begin.
So he's laying next to me, clawing at my body basically (which wasn't a turn on it was just weird), asking me if I'll be "daddy's little slut" and things of that nature. YES, he IS in fact the guy I was talking about in the "Bad Dirty Talk" blog.

"Who's daddy's little bitch?"
Not I, said the cat.

So we're tryin to have sex, but he keeps losing his erection, making things difficult.

Tips for the Gents: If the erection is not there, please don't force it in a Babe's vagina, You will just embarrass yourself and make the situation awkward for the both of you. Get some head, give some head, pop in a porn, pop in a Viagra, Idc do SOMETHING, or try again later! Otherwise, you may be the subject of someone's blog:)

So I thought I'd help him out a bit. Then he demanded I spit on his dick. Which I did, but apparently I didn't do it the way he liked so he said, "No, spit like a big girl" and he got behind me, spread my ass cheeks apart and SPIT in my booty!!!
At this point I'm like "I need to get my ass up outta here PRONTO." But NOOOOO, he wasn't finished with me. We tried different positions and whatnot. While I like my sex rough, this man was another story. He damn near ripped my tracks out for no reason at all! He wasn't riding me or anything he just wanted a kiss! After about an hour or so of not being able to cum, he gave up and passed out next to me. FINALLY, I can get some sleep!
Oh, how wrong I was...

An hour or so later, I was awoken by him, I had no idea what was going on. The man was dry humping me in his sleep. Like a dog. So I scooted to the edge of the bed away from him and fell back asleep.

In about another hour, I woke up to the bed rocking. I look up and what do I see? Goose, on his knees, jacking off with his eyes rolling in the back of his head, making this weird, breathy sound, like he was almost at the point of orgasm, but not quite.
Apparently still tryna bust that nut.

Then he slapped my ass and rolled me over in attempts to try again. Nope, nothing happened. So I decided to do the Walk Of Shame while I still had some pride and the cover of nightfall left before anyone saw me leave his apt. He had fallen asleep and I decided to sneak out.
What did I see laying on the floor when the sun came up? A MacBook.
I slap myself TO THIS DAY for not running of with that bitch!
I felt I shoulda been compensated for that horrid encounter! He woulda never knew where to find me, I don't think he even remembered my name. FML I need to start listening to my gut.

I later found out the whole college (and quite possibly the whole city) hated him for missing some very important field goals in a very important game in Hawai'i.
Touche, my friend, TOUCHE.

Trust and believe, this was not my only bad experience. I can blog for days about all the bad sex I've had. Hell, that can be a blog in itself:

Aye, I copyright that:)

Anywhoo, I'm still waitin on my first email;) Tweets are nice but emails are special

Tonight, I'm in an exotic kinda Kama Sutra mood:)
Caution: For my experienced (and flexible) babes an gents ONLY! I will not be held responsible for any injuries that occur from novices attempting this move!

Courtesy of
I suggest placing a pillow under the babe's head, and take it easy on the thrusting. Don't wanna snap her neck. But this position is great, I like it cause I can get my ass gripped and smacked,and maybe a lil finger action going too:)

Happy drivin' :)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the inustryy

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The Best Of Times...

I've lost count of the days...
And I know I've suffered droughts longer than this (i.e. the godforsaken drought of '09) but for some reason this one seems to be REALLY bad...Lemme look at the calendar.
T.O.N.y. was the beginning of the end...April it's been a month exactly.
And oh, what a rough four weeks it has been!
Today at work, my mind began to wander and landed in the Sexual Experiences Memory Bank. I decided to look back on a guy Tee Gillie jokingly named The Big Carl (yes, after the burger, but it had a whooooole nother meaning to me;) )
Those were probably the best two months of my life, but sadly we had a falling out and I did something so hilariously evil that I can't even bring myself to mention it here. Needless, this falling out didn't deter me from fantasizing about him every waking moment (that drought was a sad period in my sex life lol). So lemme tell y'all about that first night.

At the beginning of the school year I wore a shirt that said "This Is My Boyfriend" with an arrow pointing to the side. So he walked up to me and said "What are we doing tonight girlfriend?" My first reaction was "WTF are you talking about you crackhead?" but then I realized he was talking about my shirt and we shared a laugh. We pretty much kept this "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" nonsense going throughout the year. In the beginning of February he came up to me and asked if I was coming to his birthday party. I said "Sure what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't show up lol" and then we exchanged numbers and blah blah blah. Then came the day before his birthday...

I was chillin at my BFF's house when I got a text from him. I had wished him a happy birthday earlier that day and he asked if I would spend his cake day with him. I was soooo excited but then I remembered I didn't like the panties I was wearing and I hadn't properly landscaped. LMAO I distinctly remember telling my BFF I wasn't gonna sleep with him because "I don't like the panties i have on!!! They're not sexy enough!" So she threw me in the bathroom with a razor and some baby wipes and she told me to get to work (she's such a positive influence on my life). Landscaped and semi-ready, I was still stuck on the idea I wasn't gonna sleep with him.
He just so happened to live close to her so I got to his apts fairly quick. Got in, exchanged hugs, and we go downstairs to his room. He's in there practicing the Ricky Bobby to do @ his party the next night. I'm lookin through his movie collection and I pick out 40-year-old Virgin. "Oh, I've never seen this, can we watch it?" (LIES). He pops it in and I get comfortable on the bed. Then everything went downhill from there lol

So we're laying on the bed watching this movie, chatting a little bit. Then he rolls on his stomach and gives me the old "I'm just restin my eyes" excuse. I'm pretending the movie is the funniest thing I've ever seen and he tells me to get off the bed. He puts a blanket down and gets under the covers. Well, shit, maybe my ass ain't tired! So I laid on top of the covers and in one swift motionhe grabs my side of the covers, yanks them and the next thing I know, I'm on top of him! I try the whole "I'm tryna watch the movie, I've never seen it" trick, but then he starts kissing my neck and I completely forgot where I was for a minute...
Mmm, that was some decent neck kissing && sucking...
Then he rolls over and now he's on top, and I can't get away. But at this point, I don't want to...and I can feel he's getting hard through his basketball shorts (PRAISE JESUS FOR THIN BASKETBALL SHORTS!!!) then he stops and sits up and just stares at me.
TBC: "What's next?"
M: " think you ready for this?"
TBC: "The question is, are YOU ready?"

The answer to that question is a resounding NO!!!
He yanks of my pants, and I doubt if he even noticed what kinda panties I was wearing lol
The clothes come off and I finally got to see what was hiding behind the basketball shorts, and it was as big as I imagined;)
So naturally, I had to put my oral skills to work. Light kisses, then flicks. Flicks lead to licks and licks lead to sucks.

TIP FOR THE BABES: When you're giving head, use your hands in tandem with your mouth. When you bring your mouth up just get a firm grip on it and as you're sliding your hand up and down do a kind of twisting thing with it, as if you were opening a door.

He gets on top and opens the night stand, where I see a box full of magnums (yessssss) and the games began.
Penetration is usually the best, but he was on the thicker side, so it was one of those "sigh on contact" type ones. Started off slow, then sped up the pace. Then he got into the Deep Stick position with my legs on his shoulders which was a mix of pleasure and pain. It hurt cause he would keep hittin my cervix, but I didn't care this was what I asked for:) Then with him still on his knees I laid on my side and he hit the Sideways Scissor. Then I got on all fours and he took a knee (I hope you guys know what I mean). Aaah, I want my ass smacked sooo bad, so I do it myself to show him what I wanted. He took my cue, adn the spankings began. Nice, hard, firm slaps that stung. Oh, and I loved it. Then he pulled my hair so he could get deeper. Having my hair pulled AND my ass smacked? At this point I didn't realize I was moaning super loud, but man, fuck his neighbors, that's how I felt.
Then I laid on my stomach and he entered (no hands) from the back and I learned what pounding was lol. Combine that with some heavy breathing in my ear and the occasional neck suck... lawd have mercy...
Then he was back on top, but with a twist. He laid on top (something about having the weight of a man on top of me turns me the fuck on), slid his hands under my butt, and started grabbing them as he was thrusting. This was different, and I loved it. Then he slid his thumbs into my butt. At first I was startled (how many expect a finger in the booty? Thank god I went before I got there;) ), but that feeling in combination with the deep thrusts felt waaaaay too good. That later became his signature lol. Then my phone goes off.
A very pissed father sent me a text in the middle of my festivities yelling basically.
Carl looked at me and said "You wanna leave? He doesn't sound too happy" So I politely told him "Man fuck him, let's finish, I'm already in trouble..." So we did. I also love when a guy reaches his peak and he low key passes out on me, just lays there for a minute while he catches his breath;)
Aaaaah, that was the beginning of a very fun 2 months.

Well, babes an gents, I think I'm calm again, I had to get that off my chest:)
Sometimes when you're going through a sexual withdraw episode its best to just relive some really good sex. BUT it will never replace the real thing. NEVER.
I want you guys to have happy hump times, so I'm gonna leave you with 2 assignments:


Courtesy of
This will maximize penetration, but let's hope he doesn't hit the cervix;)


Courtesy of
Not to be confused with the Deep Stick.

Questions, comments, feedback

Happy sexin' ;)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Bad Dirty Talk && Pet Names

"You want this cock? You want me to shove it deep down your throat and then stick it in your tight little pussy?"
These were actual words spoken to me during a session.
Ooooh, how I wish you guys coulda saw my face.
It was like a bad porno, without the raunchy sex.
Who says that?! Only people who are trying too hard!

Call me a prude (which we know I'm FAR from) but the word "pussy" makes me cringe.
Idk, it just sounds like such an angry word, not something I really wanna refer to my lady bits as.
That being said, I'll be quick to tell someone to stop being a fucking pussy.
But as far as you wanting to "fuck this pussy"? No dice.
That's another thing...I have yet to come up with a suitable word to reference my goods as. Like I can call them my lady bits as a generalization, but I can't tell someone "Eat my lady bits." That sounds dumb as hell.
So I googled some terms. I came across:

*Cunt, Pussy, Muffin, Punani, Cooter, Coochie, Vajayjay, Kitty Kat (ugh my mom used to call it that when i was little), Cubby Hole, Pink Taco, Cum Dumpster, Piss Flaps, Fur Burger, Chocha, Choach, Beef Curtains, Twat, Snatch, Hoo Hah...the list goes on...
Lemme tell you none of these are suitable for ME. So I simply refer to it as "it" or "her". As in "Eat it" or "She's wet". That's the best I can do...

Then we got the different words for penises. I like "penis" and sometimes I can get away with "dick". But for some reason the dudes I like, like to refer to it as their "cock". I hate hate HATE that word, almost as much as i hate "pussy", "coochie" and "kitty kat".

"You like this big fat cock? Yeah baby, tell me how bad you want this cock...".
Cock is just an ugly sounding word. And I barely found out that its also interchangeable for a vagina, which is confusing as hell. Penises and vaginas should have their own separate names, that way noone's sexuality becomes questioned.

This reminds me of my little Ukrainian Lover. Let's call him Stalin. Anywhoo, he aptly named his penis "Rocky".

"You wanna meet Rocky baby?" "Yeah, baby, you love Rocky. Suck on Rocky baby."

How do you expect me to get in the mood and keep a straight face when you keep referring to your dick in the 3rd person, especially after a famous boxing movie?!
The answer is I DIDN'T. LOL

GENTS, no goofy names for your penises, please. I could never understand the appeal of using your pet name for your dick during sex.
Let's try not to look like a complete douche, k?
I just wanna (hopefully) enjoy the sex without feeling like I'm in a bad porn.

Let's keep the whole "Take daddy dick" to a minimum. The LAST thing I wanna see when I'm tryin to reach the Big O is a mental image of my father.
Now I love to be talked to, don't get me wrong, but when you say things like "You're a fucking dirty little whore, yeah, you're daddy's dirty little slut. I'm gonna fuck this tight little pussy soooo good." You sound stupid and you make me laugh.
Especially when it sounds forced, like you memorized it from your favorite "Booty Talk" video.
But if it flows nicely, then I'm all for it:) throw a few spanks in there, we're good to go!
That's my mini rant of the night...

Babes an gents, as always you guys can ask me questions:) I love answering questions

Tonight's homework is fairly simple, but looks super fun. I need a partner... ENJOY:)

Courtesy of
They sure have some weird names for these positions...they're all named after animals lol.

Happy Humping:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Monday, May 10, 2010

My Letter To Drake && The "Dick Slang"

Dear Drake,
You know I love you...I've loved you since the 6th grade, when I knew you as Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks, the love of Ashley Kerwin's life (only die hard fans will know what the hell I'm talking about).
THAT being said, I must ask you, what has been up with your recent behavior?

OR watch it here via mobile web.
fast forward to the 6:18 mark please
Drake...honey child...just what the fuck are you doing with your hips?! This awkward hip thrust you got going on? Oh no ma'am. Please stop. I'm embarrassed for you. You look like an idiot. doing these weird hip thrusts does not make me wanna jump in your bed. You look like a white boy with no rhythm (yes, I'm well aware he's half white lol). I believe the phrase is "dancing like a wounded polar bear" (once again, that was for the die hard fans).

skip to the 6:36 mark

Can you also explain to me why after catching some RANDOM ASS FAN'S PANTIES you proceed to smell your fingers not once, not twice, but THREE GOD DAMN TIMES?! Like who does that?!

"That was the most ill thing I've ever seen in my fucking life. I don't know who you been fuckin or where you been, but I basically just fingered you."

Hmm...ill enough to make you smell your fingers more than once? *side eye*...


OR watch ithere via mobile web.
please skip to the :23 mark...

"I let her see the Ashton OHMYGAWD rest surprise her...". act like you've never seen a nipple before! I'm hoping this child had 3 boobs or LED's attached to her nipples to garner a response like that from you!
Running away from panties, distracting nipples...#NotAGoodLookBoo
I'm juss sayin...

Now on to this fuckery...smh

OR watch it here via mobile web.

FIRST OFF you've got 4 chocolate mens and one little latin (maybe mulatto...quite possibly white) child in the video. And only TWO of y'all got on shirts...#Questionable. Let's proceed...

SECONDLY I love love LOVE how the little sandanista walks off camera any time they do a dance that requires some sort of skill. IE the :18 mark, :32 mark && :45 mark. Poor baby, everyone has that ONE friend who can't really dance so he just kinda falls back when everyone is showin out.
My girl Tee Gillie said it best:

"im sorry. boys shouldnt be in such close proximity "slangin" their dicks.... #Suspicious #YouNiggasIsGay"

Yeah, because making a dance where you slang your dick around in a room full of other men slangin their dicks when there isn't a female in sight isn't gay at all.

THIRDLY WTF is with all the "BLAP BLAP BLAP BLAP" bein yelled throughout the whole video?! Is that some sort of college mating call I'm unaware of!?

Dear Sir in the baby blue basketball shorts, you have no dick to slang. Please stop.
Dear Sir in the dark blue basketball shorts, you coulda got it, riiiiiiight until I saw the 1:46 mark. You are dismissed.

Still waiting on my first feedback email babes an gents. Every time i go to my inbox it's empty:( you guys make me sad:(


Courtesy of
aaaaaah, sweet memories...

What better way to start off your week than with my blog;)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Miss Sixxxty Gives Advice:)

Yay so someone has finally asked for my advice!
I know you hoes are reading and enjoying my blog, so I can't imagine why you guys haven't been asking to your little hearts' content.
But anyways...back to the task at hand...

So my friend tells me that his other friend is having problems with her boyfriend. Basically he won't go down on her and the extent of his sexual repertoire is Missionary. And while she's not having all the fun she COULD be having, she doesn't want to shatter his manhood.
So my friend brought her to *MOI*.
This. Is. My. Calling.
I jumped at the chance to help out someone in need!
While I'm going to try to refrain from verbally castrating her boyfriend (she's a new friend) I still gotta solve her problema.

Oral is a very tricky thing to bring up.
Everyone has these misconceptions that it's nasty and whathaveyou, but I can guarantee those are the people who enjoy it the most.
My philosophy is, thou must giveth to recieveth.
I'm a giver (granted that he's read my blog on hygiene) and I have no problem doing it (as does this new friend). She enjoys giving head for the same reasons I do, I enjoy pleasing my partner.
ONLY problem is, the person in question is her boyfriend, not just some booty call.
There is a difference when the partner who won't give is your SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
What I would do, is figure out why he won't do it.
He simply replied "its not his thing".
While I've never been in a serious relationship, I coulda sworn relationships were about compromises...
I'm trying to figure out what his possible reasons for not wanting to go down on his own girlfriend are?

"I don't like the way it tastes"
(although this is not specific to her case, its still an excuse boys use)
Let me just say to all the mens out there, semen doesn't taste that great either!!!
*Ask her to eat pineapple to make her lady bits taste better lol. (I'm not sure if this actually works, but pineapple IS yummy, and it couldn't hurt to test this little theory out:) )
*There's also flavored lubes (duh) and dental dams (basically a big stretchy condom that looks like a piece of spandex).
*Sex in the shower never hurt anyone either...

"I'm embarrassed."
By going down on your own girlfriend? Yeah you should be...who gives a fuck about what your friends think? They're not the ones sleeping with your girlfriend. And if they are, then you have a bigger problem on your hands, my friend.

Me and my friend Big B have come to the conclusion that's there's no other possible reason someone wouldn't wanna do it. Basically being a weenie.
But then again you also can't make someone do something they don't wanna do.
My suggestion would be to stop giving him head until he misses it, and then hopefully he can get over whatever insecurity he has.
Unless you wanna continue giving him head.

I think Jamie Foxx put it best:

Regular ain't in my vocabulary; when it comes to love makin', neither is missionary...

Call me a renaissance woman, but I love to switch it up, and i switches it up frequently:)
My new friend's other problem is her boyfriend's favorite position is missionary.
Missionary is fine to start with, but shit I need to move!
I think a man who only does missionary is selfish, only concerned about getting himself off.
This may not be her boyfriend's case, but that's just my opinion.
Now it could just be failure to communicate, and if that IS the case, then someone needs to open their mouth.
Closed mouths don't get fed.
So I sincerely hope my friend hasn't been faking it the whole time, making him think he was doing something.
Therein lies your problem.
He THINKS he's satisfying you, but in all actuality you're wondering if you remembered to record Grey's Anatomy that night.
My suggestion was to come to MY BLOG, because at the end of every blog i leave some homework for you guys to do. She can always show him and be like "This doesn't look too complicated...looks like fun!", or do the same thing with an article in the latest issue of Cosmo (the classy girl's sex bible).

Another thing she can do is take the initiative in bed. If he's on top of you, playfully pin him down an get on top. When I can see a guy isn't about to switch it up I'll roll him over and get on top, then switch to reverse cowgirl/"froggy" (I hate the word froggy...they need to come up with a new name for it), then I'll hop off and get on all fours, given he's not a complete idiot he should know what to do lol. After a while he usually gets the idea.

For those adventurous few, you can always watch porn together and point out the things that turn you on and the things you'd like to try.
All depends on what genre of porn you like. Me, personally, I like girl-girl, interracial, group and midget.

...okay maybe I was lying on that last one:)
Find something that interests you an go for it!
I hope she finds this helpful...

Babes an gents, email me if you like what you're reading, I need some positive feedback:)

As always I have to leave you with some homework:)

Courtesy of
FINALLY!!! There's a new name for it! Yeeee!

Happy riding!
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry

All About Your Sexual Hygiene:)

You're laying in bed, next to this delicious looking body.
Naughty glances are exchanged, all too knowing looks.
You know what that means; its time to knock some boots!
Clothes come of, and you start to head south.
ONLY problem is, when the draws come off you take a direct hit to the face of THE FONK.
(FUNK is a music genre. FONK is body odor. There IS a difference.)
Knocks you off the bed as you gasp for air.
Oh no ma'am, not up in here NOT UP IN HERE!

To make sure you are neither a victim nor culprit, I've compiled a list to help y'all fonky bastards out.

...I'm just kiddin, I love my babes an gents:)

When it comes to sexual hygiene, my friends will tell you I'm VERY anal (no pun intended). I do the usual and then some, and by then some I mean I do shit you would never even think to do. And I do it EVERYtime. Why, you might ask? I have no idea, I just do. But it does pay off in the end, they keep coming back (with the exception of T.O.N.y., but who's counting...).

Lemme give you a little insight:

*I remove ALL traces of body hair from the neck down, starting @ my armpits and ending at my toes. This is a two day process, so I can get the closest shave possible.
*I also use Nair as shaving cream, makes my legs soft and my legs stay smooth for days.
*I exfoliate everything so my skin is super smooth.
*Then comes my face: mask, cleanse, tone, moisturize (in that order)
*Tweezing of the brows
*I use my fave scents, either vanilla, white cherry blossom, or DiaNoche by Daisy Fuentes.
*Bra an panties MUST match. I can't have it any other way.
*Its mandatory that the toes are painted. Idk why they just need to be.
*Then I usually curl my hair. Soft waves = sexy bed head.
*Minimal makeup, and by minimal I mean lenghtening and volumizing mascara (My faves are last blast), a lil bit of liquid liner, and some vaseline. Of course i don't keep the vaseline on the whole time, just the time leading up to the kissing. Keeps my lips thee softest.

I'm probably forgetting shit, but you get the idea...very time consuming.
And usually for sex that lasts all but 20 minutes.

I'm not gon give y'all fonky bastards the whole run down, I'm just gonna get y'all to a presentable state:)

First things first: HAIR REMOVAL.
Now I know a lot of mens likes their ladies to be groomed and whatnot, and I'll be the first to tell you it'll be a cold day in hell before I let ANY man see my lady bits all unkempt and whatnot. BUT that doesn't give the man an excuse to dictate to the lady how her lady bits should look!
What I mean by that is don't go tellin her she NEEDS to get a brazilian wax if you're not gonna be on the next table over right along with her. I say, if she shaves for you, its only fair to return the favor!

Me, personally, I'm a fan of a man who keeps his shit manscaped. I like the clean look, and I also don't like gagging on stray hairs when I'm trying to orally please you, either.
Manscaping just makes your junk look like treasure:)
I remember this one guy, we shall call him Ali, because indeed, he was the GREATEST. (Some have come close, but no cigar).
Not only was his dick GINORMOUS, but when he slid those basketball shorts off I saw there was not one hair on his nether region! So of course I gave him head like there was no tomorrow, and I admit, he was the only one who got special attention to the boys, cause those were shaved too and I just couldn't resist.
He thoroughly enjoyed himself.
And I enjoyed doing it.

I would deem this as a tad bit zesty if a man did it, but I think the women really need to jump on board with designs.
I picked up this months Cosmo and they had all kinds of cut-outs.
My fave? THE ARROW.
It just looked like loads of fun! But I usually go bald eagle, it just makes the sex easier, and some men are more inclined to go downtown if its bare.

Now there's two kinds of bare:
*Regular Bare and

Lemme just tell you, if you've gotten Porn Star Bare from me, you're a lucky bastard.
To Achieve Porn Star Bare-ness, you need a trimmer (I like Schick Quattro w/ the bikini trimmer on the end) and a good 5-bladed razor (I like Venus Embrace).
The trimmer can be used to remove the longer hairs (if its been a while since you last landscaped). I prefer to do this siting on a paper towel OUT the shower. Makes clean up waaay easier. Just roll it up and throw it away. Once you've trimmed down all the hairs you gotta sit down and spread em apart. The trimmer head is really thin so it can get all those pesky hairs that try to hide in the skin folds. Once all the uh, inner hairs are removed, you can hop in the shower with your 5 bladed razor and remove the rest of the hair.
That's the easy part.
You're basically gonna be bending in all sorts of weird positions to get into the nooks an crannies, but it sure beats waxing in my book. The end result is the same, although it doesn't last as long.

One of those tricky, naughty places that becomes exposed during 69, anal or better yet (or worse, depending on how you look at it) oral from behind.
Some people like to play/have theirs played with.
The fact of the matter is YOUR DIRT BOX IS BACK THERE.
I know during 69, I don't wanna see dingleberries back there, nor do I wanna smell your dirty gooch.
And I'm pretty sure he doesn't want a dirty smelly asshole sitting on his nose.
And noone likes to get dirty digits from finger play.
I can only IMAGINE how long it must take to get the smell out...
I've also heard stories about guys having anal sex and when they pull out the girl shits on them.
Now I'll be damned if that ever happens to me, which is why I evacuate and thoroughly sanitize the area, cause I'm not opposed to a lil' back door action:)
And shit is nasty, point blank.
Let's talk about how to clean the area properly.

First off, everyone should be taking a shit before they have sex anyways.
The three S's: Shit, Shower, Shave.
I'm a fan of baby wipes, because they don't leave pieces behind.
Anyways, after you go Number 2, hop your ass in the shower, and bring a brown or black towel with you, unless you wanna see whats been living back there.
After you've washed everything else, grab that towel, put some soap on it, and spread 'em.
Idk how many of y'all wipe your cracks on the daily; some people think wiping the cheeks is enough. UH, NO SIR.
You gotta get up in there pretty hard to remove all traces of fonk back there. And then you're pretty much set to go!
Now if someone decides to stick a finger (or a penis) back there, it won't come out all stinky and covered in shit:)

Then comes the basics of hygiene: brushing your teeth (please rinse with mouthwash for prolonged freshness), washing your face, PUTTING DEODORANT ON!!!, some nice smelling lotion or cologne, and the hygiene portion is done!

I like to take Listerine Pocket Packs with me because they
*Work fast in a bind
*The menthol cools your mouth which makes oral more fun
*And if you spend the night you can always pop one in before so-an-so wakes up.
Noone likes morning breath=/

Hey, I've brought you to the actual meet an greet part! Maybe next time we'll do foreplay and the big shabang:)

Questions/comments/money for the poor can be directed at

HW time, babes an gents...
Since we touched on oral, thought I'd give you a double whammy:)
(make sure you pop a pocket pack before you try this! I swear by it)

Courtesy of
these animations really crack me up...

Happy Hump Day kids:)
Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industry