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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Carnie Pt. I

Okie doke, so I'm bored and lonely at work:(
What better time to have story time than now!
I haven't told u guys about The Carnie yet. My friends call him a carnie cause he works @ the fairs but he's far from strange;)

I live in a large city, but there ain't shit to do here.
So when the fair comes, it's like a big deal. Everyone gets dressed up in the hoochie hoe fits and people are always fighting. Oh, and greasy food. A good time.
And one year my friend convinced me to go on the opening day. I wasn't a big fair goer, but I wanted a corn dog and a funnel cake.
We're walking around, and something told me to go to the reptile exhibit.
We go in there and I see this beautiful caramel man with nice teeth. I looked at my friend and clutched my pearls "I. MUST. HAVE. HIM."
We introduced ourselves and exchanged numbers "in case he got bored" and "needed something to do"
Two days later he asked me if I wanted to see a movie when his shift was over.
I had other plans in mind:)

The same friend was having a kick back at her house and the plan was to pick him up, have a few drinks, hang out and that's it.
I went to pick him up at his hotel and we hung out at my friend's house. But then my other BFF called me because she wanted to meet this man I had been telling her about. So me, my BFF (at the time), her BFF and her BF all went to a sex toy shop and then back to his hotel room. I had to leave because my other friend was drunk and I didn't want her to lock me out. So I told my BFF in case she did to NOT leave the hotel room until I got back.

WELL my friend passed out an locked me out the house. And my BFF took off and wasn't answering the phone...
So I had to ask the Carnie if I could stay with him. I hadn't expected him to say yes!
He offers me a drink but it was some nasty ale shit so I passed. We were laying in his bed watching South Park so I scooted closer to him.
And a lil closer.
And a wee bit closer.
Next thing I know he rolls on top of me and starts kissing me.
Yes, yes, yes! this is what I've been waiting for!!
Then he got all primal and animalistic on me!
I had on some sweats that were tied because they were a little big and after fumbling to get them untied he just pulled em to my ankles and got between my legs so the pants acted as a sort of bind.
So he ate me out for a little bit and this was when I discovered he had his tongue pierced (yessssssss) then I pulled the pants all the way off and he got naked in like 2 seconds flat. He got on top and threw my legs over his shoulder and went to work. Then I felt my body being dragged across the bed and he went down on me AGAIN. He has that nice hair that I was telling you guys I like to pull on...Anyways he came up for air and penetrated me with my legs dangling over the edge of the bed. Then he picked me up and threw me on the dresser and pushed my knees onto his chest while he kissed my neck and grabbed my ass.
Then I was in the air.
And then on the dresser with a mirror.
My head kept hitting the mirror making a loud pounding noise

Me: Wait what about the people in the next room?
The Carnie: You want me to stop?
M: NO!
C: Its just my boss next door anyways...


Well alrighty then!
The next thing I knew I was back on the bed but I wanted to be on top. So here I am, happily bouncing my ass on this man, thinking "Wow, he's like four years older than me!"
Then he got back on top and passed out.
And I didn't even have to give him head!
So I was just in a love struck coma when he got out the bed and asked me if I was gonna join him in the shower.
I hopped up in the shower and started to make out with him again and he turned me around and bent me over.
He musta never been with a black girl cause I was trying to stay as far as possible from the water. My hair was already starting to frizz up! I turned back around to kiss him but I lost my balance.
I tried to grab onto the shower curtain but couldn't grab that slippery bastard! So I fell backwards, my elbow hit the toilet and I landed on my ass.
So here is the Carnie, laughing his as off, while the shower head was aiming directly at my naked ass, making a huge ass puddle.
After about 5 minutes, he finally caught his breath and asked me if I was okay. We dried off, I hopped in the bed, shoulders throbbing. He came back from the bathroom to inform me "Aye man you broke my flusher!" I guess on the way down my shoulder took out the flusher handle. It snapped right in the middle so it was unfixable. He finished taking his pee (swear this man takes the longest pees!) and hopped in the bed. After about 10 minutes of pure silence, he busted out laughing because he thought about what happened again.
But the sex was good. So I let him laugh.

Now comes part two, when he made me his official weed finder.
And I smoked for the first time.
That was an experience.
For another day;)

But for right now, lemme give y'all some homework to do
Eve's Ecstasy

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Heh heh...I need to get back in touch with him...

Love me,
Miss Sixxxty, Your very own freak of the industryy

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Premature Ejaculators and Erectile Dysfunction

GAAAAAAAH I JUST WANNA RIP MY HAIR OUT!!!
I think in about every blog I address my drought.
Well, last night me and some friends went out, I had a few drinks, feelin good (not buzzed but good).
And the drought got the best of me.
So I called this little boy who doesn't live too far from my job.
And when I say little I mean LITTLE, as in he's entering senior year in high school.
All I wanted to do was make out with the boy! Maybe get my neck sucked on a bit.
I had a romp in the car with the boy before...ugh...the whole 45 seconds I kept thinking I'm going to hell...I'm going to hell for this shit!!! but it was over before I realized he was all the way in!!!
I said "Let me know when you're close" and then I immediately heard his breathing increase. I stopped him and said "Are you done??" He said no but then when I tried to move he said "I'm about to ooze."

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

Like are you fucking kidding me?! I looked at him, silently put my shirt back on and said "We needa work on that".

So last night when I was making out with him in my car he kept asking me to take off my shorts. Because of the way last time went, I wasn't gonna waste ending a drought on 45 second dick! But I also didn't know how to tell him he came too quick for me.
So I dropped his ass off and went home.

That is what I get for messing with little boys right?
WRONG!!!

Because then there was my neighbor, The Martian (he took that whole Lil' Wayne thing a lil TOO seriously). He was like 4 years older than I am.
And I had sex with him plenty of times.
And lets say out of 15 times he kept his erection TWICE. The first and second times we had sex. Then everything went downhill from there.
It was the same routine EVERY TIME.

First we'd spoon, he'd enter from the back.
Then I'd roll on my stomach,
Then I'd lean over the edge of the bed (his bed came up to my waist. That bed was probably the best thing about going to his house.)
Then he'd pull out cause he got soft on me...and that's when shit got awkward.
Cause he'd rest his dick on my ass and jack off in attempts to get hard.
He'd smush his balls into me (ICK ICK ICK) making the bed shake from his lack of blood in his penis.
At first I was shocked. And I offered to help, like any good sexual partner would do.
But then it started to get irritating.
I'd sit there, ass in the air facing away from him, rolling my eyes the whole time...
It just became too much so whenever he'd text me it would be like "I'm tired" "I'm not home" "I'm sick". And since I didn't wanna have sex with his non erection keeping ass I was all of a sudden acting "brand new".
Well shit he's a janky promoter!
I distinctly remember him telling me (y'all gon make me log into my myspace and find them messages)

Hun, I've done just about everything you can imagine.
Play ya cards right and you might have GREAT stories to tell ya friends


Oh, I got great stories to tell em...THEY ALL LAUGH AT ME!!!
Remember that time you were "puttin in overtime" an the sweat started poppin off your forehead like hot grease and I thought you were spitting on my back?
Oh yeah, sounds like a GREAT time in my book!

Eventually he moved across the country and stopped harassing me.

I'm telling you all of this because I did a phone/twitter poll of which is worse.
Everyone (except this one dude, but I think he's a virgin anyways) said not being able to keep an erection is the worst possible thing that can happen to a man.
And I agree.
Cause if a dude busts that quick nut before your arrival the sex last longer.
This is a proven FACT.

But the dudes I choose, its one thing or another with them.
Because asking for a gent with a big penis and stamina AND good looks is too much to ask these days...

*SIGH* for gents suffering with Limpdickitis I sincerely suggest you invest in a cock ring and do it TOday.
That should keep you hard and your partner pleased.

Babes an gents send me your various opinions @ AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
I love hearin from you guys(:

Homework for this evening!
CROSS

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This was mine && The Big Carl's fave position. Idk why but it's fun!

Yay for good sex!!!
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy