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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I Just Gave...

...the longest blow job of my life. I was just feelin' generous one night so I called this guy up (no nickname as of yet). He's just fun to fuck around with, albeit if he isn't always available (booooooo). He told me he only had 20 minutes to spare and I'm thinkin' "too easy" so he slides the seat back and I go to town. 24 minutes later I'm like "Don't you need to go?" and he tells me to just keep going. It's like every time he would tell me "Just like that...keep it just like thaaaast" my jaw would start aching. Switching between licking and sucking just got too damn tiring at one point I was thinkin I know it's past his bedtime. I told him I was gonna try to go for a record and he decided to take that as a personal challenge to see how long he could keep from busting. I was bent in so many odd positions trying to get in a comfortable oral giving position that I woke up the next day feeling like I had gotten violated by a horse when I didn't even have sex. After an hour he finally came. Better late than never I say!
We hadn't been seeing much of each other lately because we have been off doing our own things. One morning at like 4:30 a.m. I get a phone call from him. Half asleep I answer the phone and he screams "THIS IS A BOOTY CALL. WAKE UPPPPP. REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WENT TO THE CASINO AND I LOST 200 BUCKS? I DIDN'T EVEN REALLY WANNA HAVE SEX THAT NIGHT BUT I STILL ASKED ANYWAYS. REMEMBER WHEN YOU RAPED ME?? YEAH, YOU OWE ME. SO BRING THAT ASS." Anything else sir? After a little back and forth I made my way over to east jesus nowhere (with the promise of going straight to sleep right after). This was before gas prices started fucking us in the ass again. I get there and the big dude that tried spooning with me the first time we had sex was there and so was that stupid ass cunt that tried molesting me when he thought I was passed out. We just sat around talking for a minute and then we decided to head off to bed.
We're layin in bed making small talk and somehow he pushed me out the bed! Then he elbowed me and I wasn't sure if this was a form of foreplay or if he was just being a drunken idiot.
Me: Keep it up and I'm gonna kick your ass.
Sexsomniac: No you won't...because you love me like a brother.
Me: ..............please don't say that before we have sex. It's kinda creepy...
Sexsomniac: Okay well you love me like a good friend.
Much better...I roll over and start kissing him and he starts pulling at my sweats. The thing I like about having sex with him is he likes kissing. Kissing before sex is very underrated. And on the contrary, just because you kiss me during sex doesn't mean I'm going to all of a sudden catch feelings for you. It's just one of those things I like during sex. Now, kissing and there isn't and sex involved is another story (unless I'm drunk...but I can't remember JUST drunkenly making out with someone...). Anyways, we get undressed, he grabbed on my fanny, pulled out the jammie, and killed the punani (kinda) *in my Ice Cube voice*
SIDEBAR: Punani and fanny are one of those words I hate
I started out on top, riding him a little bit...but it's been so long since I've been on top IN A BED that the mattress wasn't firm enough and I couldn't get into a groove. Car sex will do that to you. I got off and we started spooning. It's so weird, cause his dick isn't the biggest (it ain't the smallest either) but he can still hit certain spots. Every time he thrusted I'd bend over a lil more until I folded like a lawn chair. I got bored after a while so I pushed him back and told him to get on his knees. I bent down in front of him and started throwin' it back at him. And I don't mean where I'm on all fours rocking my entire body into him. Dancing at the strip club has taught me to work my hips and ass in ways I didn't know capable. I was pitching a lot of ass and he was catching just as good. Felt great EXCEPT the way my ass was going back and forth reminded me of a jello mold on a plate I felt like my ass was about to slide the fuck off my body. I hate that feeling but when I looked back at him the look on his face said he was enjoying the fuck outta that shit, so I continued. He took over after a while and I just stuffed my head under a pillow to muffle myself, but you could still hear *clap, clap, clap, clap*. I heard the two dudes down the hall laughing and I couldn't figure out if they could hear us or if they were laughing about something else. But that wasn't gonna stop me from getting my issue handled, no ma'am. He's really the only guy who's ever gotten close to making me feel the way Happenis did but it is obviously not the same AT ALL...that man needs to hurry up and bring his ass BACK.
He finally busts, and as we're cleaning up and getting dressed we're having a convo like we didn't just have sex. We go rejoin the boys, play a quick game of beer pong and I decide I'd rather go to sleep in my own bed. As I get ready to leave he asks me where I'm going and I say I'm going home.
Sexsomniac: REAL! So you're just gonna leave huh...hit it and quit it? I feel so used...
Well damn, my bad homie. And all this time I had been thinking dudes actually WANTED me to leave after sex. Smh. lol
Don't text me asking if I want the dick and when I say yes say "That's nice". You woke me up out my sleep, made me horny and shut me down in a matter of 5 minutes. I hate your life. Don't text me again.
The Rain Check man still ain't tryna let a bish be great and cash that shit in...we see each other here and there and we're friendly so I don't know what the deal is.
Sex. When it's good it's great. When it's bad it's still pretty good.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Keep It 100

Hola, hola...up at my tweaker crackhead hours again because this stupid issue (not sex) is bothering me...what better way than to blog it. The phrase of the day is "Keep it 100" because apparently people are having a hard time grasping the concept.
So there's this guy (always the beginning of a juicy story), might've blogged about him a couple months ago about taking time off work to go see him out of town just for him to bail on me at the last minute? If I did, lemme refresh your memory and if I didn't lemme fill you in:

Basically had been going to school with this guy since forever, after high school went our separate ways. Might've crushed on him on an off thru high school but nothing too serious. Broke up with his long term girlfriend and we hung out shortly after that. He came home on spring break talking all kinda shit, we made out, then after that he stopped taking my calls/texts. Get on fb an see he got back with his gf. Okaaay...couple months later same shit happens but this time he wants me to visit him. We pick a weekend, I take time off work (which I hated because I honestly hate taking time off work) and the week I was supposed to go he stops taking my calls/texts. The day before he tells me he's "sick". I tell him that's fine I'll be his nurse and feed him chicken noodle soup in bed all flirty like and he still tells me I shouldn't go. At this point I'm pissed because I'm stuck in town and I'm not working when I could be. He gets a new gf and deletes me on fb. Couple months later he hits me up out of nowhere and I should be used to his game by now but my dumb ass still plays into it. Tonight I just got fed up with his ass.

It's like we'll have these long ass convos nshit and I think everything is going good then he pulls the stupid fall off the face of the earth card and I'm sitting here like damnit what NOW?? His texts started coming far and few in between, and I could feel the cycle repeating itself. I have this rule, where if I send 3 texts on 3 different occasions and you don't respond or don't engage I delete your number and play the waiting game. I either forget about you, or you come around. Win/win situation. And that's what I did. But I decided to do something different this time, and just flat out ask him what the fuck his problem was. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times and I am clearly a damn fool. I was starting to feel that there was another girl in the picture and I was once again getting pushed off to the side as I had before. At first he wanted to play stupid, then I told him if his heart or his dick or whatever was in a different place than between us then that was fine with me. I just needed to know SOMETHING because this stupid little merry go round was getting stupid. He tried telling me he didn't know what I was talking about, and I debated on bringing up each instance we started talking and how they all ended and decided against it. He chalked it up to being busy and he can't always talk and blah blah blah cause clearly I look like boo boo the fool. I'm a woman I can sense shit like that. After doing a bunch of pointless going back and forth I just gave up and waived that white flag. I didn't wanna argue anymore because it was going NOWHERE...and once I stopped responding he started sending those obnoxious "???" THAT'S going to invoke a response from me...

Moral of the story: whether we're TALKING talking in terms of a relationship or hell even just casually fucking around it's obviously best to keep it 100 with each other. If you start not to feel the situation anymore, speak up. If you meet someone else and it gets serious, speak up. Hell, if it's anything that's gonna prevent the progress of the "relationship" between you two SPEAK UP. Nobody wants to be strung along as much as nobody wants to be stuck in a situation they don't wanna be in. I know if I don't like a dude or don't wanna fuck with him, I will let him know. (We know thissss...I may not be the nicest about it after a while but you can't say it doesn't get the job done). I just ask for the same in return. I always tell Happenis if he ever gets bored with our situation just to tell me he doesn't wanna fuck anymore, rather than falling off the face of the earth and keeping me guessing about our situation. I'd rather have a definite "it's a done datta" than a "kinda maybe sorta" situation. That way I know if we're still on texting terms or whatever and I don't have to wonder about how you feel about me or our situation...You know I just hate feeling like a damn bug to something that ain't even there anymore...I mean I always tell people they don't have to lie at all, they can tell me how they feel whether they think it'll hurt my feelings or not. I'm a big girl! I can handle it!

SIDE BARI've noticed I've been done dirty by dudes I haven't even done anything major sexually with more than dudes I've slept with. One guy I talked to, we'd have these "movie nights" where I'd just go to his pad, watch movies and knock out. Never even kissed him. I'm thinking everything is going peachy and about a week after one of our movie nights I ask him what the next movie is gonna be and he tells me he has a girlfriend. Um...can you say blindsided?! Here I am, thinking we might be on track for a relationship, thinking I did everything right by keeping my legs closed, and he wasn't even checking for me! Damn near a year later he came back around but that ship had long sailed. Sucks for him!

Mmm...idk...just one less dude to worry about...frees up more space in my phone for more important updating Angry Birds. I'm a grown ass woman and don't have time for games. If you wanna fuck and I wanna fuck then yay! Let's get something worked out. Cut all the bullshit. But like I said it's a concept people can't grasp these days i.e. this idiot...

As far as Happenis goes...we all know I cracked and fucked him a few weeks back when he was in town...what can I say he's just too good at what he does...Can't pass it up (especially when I'm not getting it anyways).

The Rain Check Guy (that's the best I could do)...well, when I know something, you'll know something.

My visits with the Sexsomniac are becoming far and few in between...which kinda sucks cause I liked his convenience...but we haven't been kicking it lately. Just doing our own things...hmm NBD.

Cheers to the fucking weekend,
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy