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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ugh.

So. As a girl you know you can't wipe back to front right? For sanitary reasons. The same applies to anal. Don't go between the two. Thank god I haven't gotten some sort of yeastie. Sorry I'm not allowed to elaborate on the situation but ehh, what can ya do.

This sucks balls. I need more questions AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com cause I'm having severe writers block right now. But for now let me dig deep deep DEEP down in the recessed memories of past partners. *flips thru rolodex* aaaah, this looks like a good one. *Sprinkles magic dust in the bonfire like on Are You Afraid Of The Dark*

Once upon a time there was a girl who lived in the most boring town this side of the Golden Gate. She suffered from a hypersexual disorder and a testosterone imbalance. And she was quite sexaay, might I add. All she wanted to do was fuck. She didn't care who (to an extent. She wasn't hoe strolling it down the street tryna cop her next fix but yeah...) she didn't care when all she knew was she wanted it BAD. So one day this dude, known as the pizza man to you guys, gave her a ring a ding ding early in the morning. Now, this girl, she's not a morning person, so it kinda sucked when he called at 8am on the weekends when normal people were still recovering from the night before. But this man, ooooh no he was no ordinary man. No, this man was BOLD ENOUGH to ring her door bell at 8:30 am when everyone else in her house was sleeping and ask if she was home (wtff). And we obviously all don't look so smashing when we first wake up but at the same time she didn't wanna keep him waiting so she threw on a cute sweats set an wiped the drool off her face and went to see what he wanted. He wanted to "take her to breakfast" and her parents let the two on their way. "Breakfast" was code word for sex at the river. These kids were both in high school, and neither one had a place of their own, so the river became "their spot".

Getting to the actual spot is a bitch. First you have to crawl through a hole in the fence, then you have to scale the side of a damn cliff basically and it gets pretty steep as you get closer to the river bed. Obviously flip flops aren't the correct footwear but she needed to be cute. They find a bushy area off the main path an get down to business. He takes off his work shirt and like the gentleman he is he lies it on the ground for the fair maiden to rest her ass upon. He whips it out and clearly work needs to be done. He's a grower not a shower so when you see it soft its kind of a disappointment, but you just gotta give it a lil encouragement and he stands tall. She decides to give him a little oral support and sure enough she starts getting stabbed in the throat with his penis. She takes it out and he gets on top and sticks it in. His shirt isn't very large and she has to figure out which is more important: her ass or her hair. The hair wins and she ends up with her ass on the bare ground. Now this was fine in the beginning but its beginning to get uncomfortable for both of them. For him because his pants are at his knees hindering his thrusting ability and for her because she keeps getting poked in the ass with twigs. She tells him to get off and she slips on her flip flops and leans against a tree trunk. He follows and she wraps one leg around his waist for leverage. Now this wasn't much better because as the thrusts start coming hard and fast the bark on the tree trunk starts scratching the shit out her back. Scratches on the back are sexy, but not this kind. I think he notices the discomfort in her face because he pulls out and spins her around. Hunched over = Much better. Bent over at the waist, hugging the tree for dear life she lets him take over, and take over he does. But unfortunately, as soon as it began he was breathing hard and digging his nails into her hips. She never understood guys who didn't like finishing in condoms...He pulled out, ripped the condom off and aimed for the tree. Bum-mer. Nothing worse than a good quick fuck and by that I mean someone who is good at sex but just can't last for shit. All that talent - wasted. And every time he tries to redeem himself by givin a little oral. And sometimes she just wanted to pat him on top of the head and say nice try. Because she likes receiving, don't get her wrong...but she has yet to meet a dude who can get her there solely based on oral. And she doubts that will ever happen. While they are getting dressed, they notice a cop on a motorized bike are headed their way. Well shit, she was already dressed SEE YA. And she starts scaling the side of the cliff to get the fuck outta there. She looks back and see the cop has stopped to talk to him. When he finally meets her back at the car she asks him what happened and he said the cop was asking him what he was doing down there since he was in his work uniform. "Fishing". Yes, he really said fishing. I know, I know...where does she find these losers?!
The drive home was sooo uncomfortable because she had sand in her vag and a whole bunch of splinters caught in the furry lining of her sweats that took her MONTHS to completely get out. No bueno sitting in class and springing up because you just got stabbed in the ass by a splinter. And reaching in your pants to retrieve it isn't very attractive, either. After doing a mirror check, making sure her hair was in order and there were no unidentifiable stains on her clothes she told him she would see him later and "thanks for breakfast" and went inside to take off those damn sweats. Her parents remarked that was a quick breakfast. "Oh he just took me to McDonalds like the cheap bastard he is" and they left it at that.

Months later she woke up one day and screamed "WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!" And then went pure the hell off on him and told him not to call her anymore cause she never wanted to see his fucking face again. Cause the situation had lost its novelty and she was bored and he was a pest and no one likes being pestered for ass. Its thirsty and annoying.

And then one day years later she slipped up because she really wanted some and had no options. Then afterwards she realized why she went off on him in the first place. And she stopped returning his calls again. But she was a sexayy piece of ass so getting satisfied by another strapping young lad wasn't an issue.

The new fellow in her sex life is grand she says. Every time she sees him she feels like she's been violated by a horse and she needs a snack and a nap. The peen is good and when it comes its GOOD. And that's all she asks for. Is for someone to lay down the D when she needs it. And yes it is a need. Other people tell her "stop fucking with him" but hahaha they just don't understand. Sex > feelings. Know the difference between the two simple bitches. She can emotionally detach herself, can you?

MASTERY - KNEELING

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
I can only imagine how fun this is gonna be when I get my boobs. Tig O' Bitties just a bouncin up an down in his face...

But seriously, Leave me some questions...Or if you wanna share your own story on here you can do that too. I'll make sure I keep it anon:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

FUCKING SHIT.

I'm pissed.
Obviously we all know that it is impossible for me to get the dick every time I want so what do I do in the meantime? I hop my horny ass on pornhub and I self soothe for a bit. Cause if I didn't have THAT I'd probably be locked somewhere in the SHU at some women's prison. Anyways I have some shit to help "assist" me in my self soothing and I keep it by my bed hidden outta sight.
So yesterday I was looking for my shit and I couldn't find it. I assumed it rolled under the bed so I hopped down an looked. Nothing. Looked under the nightstand and INSIDE the nightstand. Not there. SOMEone has been in my room in my shit. But that's not just the type of shit like "Oh, I'ma just borrow this shirt" noooooo. This shit makes no fucking sense. I don't know how the fuck my house became the fucking Bermuda Triangle with my shit disappearing left an right.
For now I'ma just deny deny deny if it happens to show up, and if it DOES show up I don't think I even want the shit anymore, who knows where the fuck it's been...

Now. Back to the dude who likes to text me about his dick. So yes I know he has a girlfriend, which is why I let him do most of the talking. But that's just it. It's just talking and I'm getting bored. Maybe this is how he gets his kicks, idfk but I'm bored. It's gotten to the point where I don't even get excited to see his name pop up in my inbox because I know he's not about to give it up! Like honestly can someone explain this shit to me?! If you have no intentions whatsoever to cheat on your gf, then why the fuck even act like you would? I didn't approach you, you approached ME. I didn't make you do or say anything, that was all you. My whole thing is either you're gonna make somethin happen or you're gonna stop flooding my inbox with bullshit. My time could be spent waaaay more productively, like hmm...I don't know...maybe sleeping. Or working. Children play games not grown ass men.

Speaking of which...the baby drought ended. But now I think I'm getting bored. And maybe he is too. Because I just don't fucking understand how someone can go 4 weeks without sex voluntarily. Like alright I understand if you're not fucking the person you were before and you're just holding out until something better comes along cause you don't wanna settle I GET THAT. What I DON'T get is when you have someone who is willing to let you fill every orifice (RJ Berger reference:) ) at your demand and you just don't. Someone else wanna explain that one to me? Everyone is all "You're a girl it should be easy for you to find another dick" WTF does me being a girl have to do with anything. Yeah there are plenty of dues who would fuck me right now if I asked them to but I DON'T WANT THEM. I want something new. And that is not as easy to find as it sounds.

I just have to accept the fact that my sex life is doomed and I will never be sexually satisfied (on my terms at least). Men suck.

I'm still being too much of a pussy to go get my giney repierced. It wasn't as bad as I had imagined but at the same time the shit hurt enough for me to not wanna redo it. And on top of that I have some other piercings that need to be redone:(


Fuck it, I think I'm just gonna be a stripper.
LAUNCH PAD

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Guess there ain't shit I can do but wait for someone to get their shit together. who that maybe, we don't know

Sorry for all the excess profanity today=/
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Finally.

Alright this blog is about to be as scatterbrained as my mind right now. So bear with me. Where to begin...

NEW TITS!!!
So it's finally happening, I'm getting breast augmentation!!! I've been wanting this since I first hit puberty and realized I was not gonna be a busty bitch. I mean I have a lil somethin somethin, but for the most part I A. never go braless in public B. everything is usually padded up the wazoo. That's one thing people are failing to realize MY TITS ARE AN ILLUSION!!! So stop saying "your boobs are fine you don't need one." Let's not start telling me what I do and do not need. I'm not doing this for you or to even look good for you I'm doing this for me, to look good for ME, cause at the end of the day I'm the last person I see. I'm a 32A, droppin 4 g's for some double D's! Obviously I had to work with what I was given out of necessity, but it will be oh so nice to not even need a bra anymore. I hate that I can't wear tube tops or even halter tops without having to buy a bra with all kinds of hooks and straps. I hate strapless bras because I can't have padding and the stupid things are always falling down. Once I have new boobies that won't be an issue. You bitches think I got confidence now wait til I drop an fluff (boob job lingo).
So for the babes out there curious, here's some stats for ya:

Height: 5'2 (on a good day)
Weight: 115ish...
Pre-op Cup Size: 32A *waaaah*
Type Of Implant: Silicone
Profile: High Profile
Incision: Crease
Cc's: ehh...375ish...but I'll know fer sure at the pre-op appt.
Unders/Overs: Under the muscle

So yeah...I got two jobs now and the second job will pay for my surgery...If my calculations serve me correctly they should be paid for by July:) Be expecting a lot of blogs post-op while I'm recovering since I won't be doing anything but sitting on my ass since I'll be too sore to do anything else. Including sex.

Speaking of which...its been 3 weeks exactly since I last had a sexual eruption, and surprisingly (and a lil scary) I'm handling it pretty well. I haven't threatened to end anyone's life, haven't had the urge to blow shit to pieces...and it scares me a bit. Maybe I just don't care about sex anymore...Maybe I just don't care about HIM anymore...so unlike me!!! Could this be a sign of some sort of mental illness? I'll just chalk it up to the fact that I work ungodly hours and am running low on sleep and right now sex isn't high on the priority list because I need sleep and sex would interfere with the sleep I sooo desperately need in order to be productive at work to pay for my surgery!!!!!!!!!!!

...Although I wouldn't mind getting my issue again...shit it's been three damn weeks. That's a fucking record (at least since the drought ended). I feel like I'm in a baby drought right now. Everyone's just like "Oh, just bust out the toys and masturbate" yeaaaaaaaaaaahno that doesn't cut it in my book sorry...basically my whole thing is this: tell me when it's over. Then at least I know I can officially declare a state of emergency. I'm not too fond of disappearing acts...

Back to boobies. Another thing, looks like in order to get my surgery I need to move out. Apparently my priorities are out of whack and my father ain't havin that shit. I'm saying if I pay "rent", the bills are still paid on time and I've got extra "mad money" who gives a flying fuck what I choose to put the extra money aside for? I bet if I was saving for a car this wouldn't be such a big fucking issue. Yeah I'm electing to have surgery but I don't see a difference in saving for the surgery and saving for anything else that requires me to save a large amount of money. So once the tatas are all paid for time to ship out. Cause I'll be damned if I turn 21 (in september:)) and still have a damn curfew. But anywhoo I found an apartment, its gorgey:) just not too crazy that its hella far away from my morning job=/ but sacrifices must be made! I hope this doesn't strain my relationship with my fam, they need to understand I'm not letting the opinions of others get in the way of my happy:)

As far as sex goes...the only sex stories I have are the ones in my head. And btw the *semi famous guido* is following me on twitter again:)) gotta try to remember not to scare him off this time lol hopefully they'll be done shooting season 4 by the time I have my surgery, that way I can catch him in Vegas and it will be a WRAP.

*Sigh*...I really need to find someone who doesn't ration the dick like we're in WWII and is just DTF whenever wherever. This arrangement is starting to not be as beneficial as I had hoped=/

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH yes that brings me to another thing: If you are a man, and its after 1am, DO NOT text my phone something along the lines of

"Yaa I guess welll I could tell u something that's hard right now : )"

If you have no intentions of letting me have that!!! That is just like...The rules of texting after midnight! When I'm sexually frustrated I don't wanna hear that shit unless I'm straddling you an can feel your boner thru your pants. Good day SIR.

...I heard he had big dick and I am DYING to see if its true an see if he knows what to do with it. He needs to stop bullshittin already...

SOCKETS

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
I'm sorry...but how does this even work??? It just looks like they're scissoring...no penetration whatsoever...well anyways, socket to me!

Be ready to play, batter up, face down, ass up!
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Just An FYI...

I'm a crazed working woman now.

blog coming soon. be expecting:

* my breast augmentation journey. and the fact that my parents may borderline be kicking me out if i get the shit done (which i AM). I'll post pre op an post op pics @ the appropriate times
* my feelings on why society equates a high female sex drive to a whore.
* that stripper blog I've been putting off off OFF.
* my quest for the VCH: pt. II
* more sexless blogs (well, at least not any CURRENT sex stories)
* or maybe...if things don't work out... ;)
* and whatever the fuck else I feel like writing about. I'll try to post when iI get off from job numero uno tomorrow.

Now...off to pornhub to have a lil "me" time since I can't have any "us" time. This is pure fucking bullshit. Its been 2 fucking weeks now #cmonson

...Maybe everyone is just waiting for me to go bat shit Charlie Sheen crazy. Next thing you know you'll be seein my ass on tv w/ male prostitutes locked in my bathroom at some swanky ass hotel room while I do blow off his I.D. Who knows...

All I know is I better be feeling a real life human penis in my vag pretty fucking soon or it's WWIII in this bitch.

no fucking joke.

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy