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Monday, November 29, 2010

Turquoise Jeep Music!

Babes an gents I need a damn hobby to keep me occupied.
I've got my side hustle makin me a little bit of money here and there, most def not enough for my boobs tho. Then work sucks. And I've been feeling pretty shitty these last few days
But enough about that.
I need to stay upbeat. And this, my friends, is one helluva way to stay upbeat.

TURQUOISE JEEP MUSIC!!!
My friend @NYCNeef sent me a link to this video one day, the "Fried or Fertilized" video I posted a few blogs back, and I oddly became addicted. It was like a bad car accident. As horrible as it was, it was infectious at the same time. And the majority of their music has to do with my favorite past time, SEX! There's Flynt Flossy, who looks like a cross between Chance and Charlie Murphy. Whachamacalit, Yung Humma, a cross between Real and Pootie Tang; Slick Mahoney, your token white guy; and Pretty Raheem. And Tummi Scratch, the dude who makes all their beats. The music is catchy as hell, and each song has a dance to it. My fave of course is the "fried or fertilized" dance. So lemme not hold back and share the wealth.

STRETCHY PANTS

OR watch it here via mobile web

"She don't cook she don't clean"
"That bitch is lazy but them stretchy pants just drive me crazy wanna dirty dance like I'm Partick Shwazye


The song that started it all. I love my stretchy pants. And I'm pretty sure if you've seen me walking around in 'em you like em too. lol

FRIED OR FERTILIZED

OR watch it here via mobile web.

I would feel oddly uncomfortable if someone were to walk up to me in public and ask me this, I would politely answer that I like my eggs scrambled please, and move it right on along.
Idk what it is about this damn song that has me hooked, but it does. Could it be the jellyfish, Slick Mahoneys random cameo, or could it be that one lone strand of hair from Yung Humma's lacefront that didn't make it under the bandana?? Who knows?!

LEMME SMANG IT

OR watch it here via mobile web

Gotta focus mama you don't wanna get a cooch contusion.

To "smang" someone is a clever mash up of to bang someone and to smash someone.
Why didn't i think of that first? Hmm. I love this video solely because of Flynt Flossy's dancing skills. He kills me every time. I wonder how much they paid the girl in the black dress to sit there expressionless for the whole video. I mean you obviously wanted to be in the video you can look a little more enthused than that! I mean look at the other girl! She's all smiles:) and having a good ol' time.
And yes, that is Sir Tummi Scratch at the end of the video.
His lips kinda scare me...

CAVITIES

OR watch it here via mobile web

This song is pretty damn self explanatory. Idk what Pretty Raheem has going on with his chest hair, but I've learned not to ask questions about the Jeep anymore.

You can follow these guys on twitter @TurquoiseJeep, go to their website http://www.TurquoiseJeep.com and download their music off iTunes.
Now hat I have supplied you with the funnies for the day, hows about supplying me with some emails huh?
AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com

I'm feeling a certain way about a certain someone that I have no business feeling that certain way about. What to do, what to do...
Rehab maybe.
I don't know...

JELLYFISH

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Me likey. Me likey A LOT. Now...all I need to do is find a willing participant. Can't have a repeat the terrible drought of '10.

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Its Over.

That's it babes an gents.
Blue Magic cut me off cold turkey, and I don't even know why.
It's crazy how you can do everything right, yet things still go to shit.
I kept telling myself that man was too good for his own good.

Basically he hit me up around 3:30 a.m., and I was sleeping with the phone on vibrate.

3:35 a.m. "You awake?"
3:47 a.m. "Sleeping then"


So naturally when I woke up I texted him back an was like yeah I was sleeping, maybe next time.
No answer.
Told him happy thanksgiving.
No answer.
I have all my contacts linked in my phone to twitter and fb. And as I was going through my phone book I noticed his picture wasn't there.
Sure enough I go to fb and that dickhead deleted me.
I didn't comment on all of his statuses, flood his timeline or rape his wall or none of that shit. But I was still somewhat hopeful.

Told him I was house sitting for my aunt again.
No answer.

I texted him that I was house sitting around 12, and this time I kept my phone on loud so I could hear it. I got several texts throughout the night, none from him.
So here I sit, dumbfounded as to what the fuck I could have possibly done to piss him off so much.
I know I delete his number when he pisses me off, but then he'll text a few hours later and it's all good.
Deleting me on fb was childish as fuck.
But then again, when I delete someone on fb that means I'm severing all ties with you.
But you would know long before then that I didn't like you, it wouldn't come as a surprise.
So what, are you mad that I didn't answer you that one night? I know of two mutual friends who knew about our situation and they wouldn't say shit anyways.

If something was bothering you, then say something. Don't be a little bitch and play childish ass mind games. Tell me you got a girlfriend. Tell me you're bored. Say SOMETHING. And if my not answering you back is the reason for your little tantrum, then thats stupid as hell and you know it. Especially when you had me drive across town to someones house just to pass out and have me drive home empty handed. I still hit you up the next day and handled my business.

Looks like another drought has welcomed me for the holidays.
Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

Someone send me some encouraging emails to cheer me up.
And my cheer me up, I don't mean send me dick pics or try to take Blue Magics place either.
AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com

Now let me not be a bitch and stoop to his level and wish ill will upon him.
I hope he finds what he's looking for.

SPOONS

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
For those of you who are still having sex, enjoy

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Sunday, November 21, 2010

S&M An Tacos

Good Sunday babes an gents. It's always nice to wake up with a smile on your face an Boz Scaggs on the radio.

Last week I got my issue a little earlier than expected, which was nice:) It was a Thursday and I was just at home chillin' and Mr. Blue Magic hits me up (I have finally settled on a nickname I like. If you don't know what Blue Magic is, then go watch American Gangster and get back to me). I love how casual our convos are:

Blue Magic: trying to get it in?
Me: Always
BM: roll through
M: on my way
BM: kk
M: come outside


We get it in in front of his house again, an this time when he asks me if I want him to finish on my face he pulls out in time. But I decided I wanted to take him in my mouth, which was a pleasant surprise for him. We sit an chat about his day, all the while I'm trying to figure out where I'm gonna spit. When he leaves I'm relieved because I had a mouth full of spit an cum, an wasn't able to talk anymore. I get home an realized I didn't wipe all the cum off my face, because I had some dried on my chin.

"Mom that's drool"
yikesss

Cut to last night.
I landscaped a few days ago, and I was a little irked that he hadn't hit me up. It seems like whenever I landscape no one is around to see it, they only come around to see me when its growing out. So I was like fuck that, I spent waaaaay too much time in the shower doing this, he is GOING to see!! I hit him up on a whim around 12. No answer. I don't know if I was mad about not getting any, or the fact that I potentially landscaped for nothing. What's a girl to do?? It was either Reader's Digest or self soothing. Welp, off to Porn Hub! About two minutes into my video around 2 am he finally answers me back. So I throw on some clothes an head out. When I get in the car he tells me that he isn't at home, but across town in West Bum Fuck. I suck my teeth an go anyways cause I want some. As I'm driving I have him texting me his whereabouts every two seconds. I can't answer cause I'm on the freeway an the roads are wet, and he's also irking me with the "where r u" texts lol. I get off the freeway and head to the cross streets he gave me, just for him to tell me he gave me the wrong ones an that I just passed him. I bust a bitch an as I'm waiting for a green light I see him take off across the street towards my car. If I didn't know any better I woulda thought I was gettin car jacked!
He hops in the car an he's like "Let's go get some food". We go to this little taco shop, and I swear I felt like I was in Little Mexico. I know the latin club had just let out so it was PACKED. He goes to order the food an I'm sittin at a table. After he orders the food he moves us to a different table.
With all his friends.
Who happen to be celebrating someone's birthday.
Remember I said I just threw on some clothes. So I'm with all these strangers looking like a ghetto rainbow, wishing I was in my backseat already. Everyone is eating and laughing and I'm just thinkin "when are we gonna leave??? I end up eating one of my two tacos an he steals a part of my other taco. His friend looks at him an is like why are you stealing people's food? He informs him "This is my girl. So it's okay" His friend asks if he paid for it an I look at him, cause I paid for it. I said "Well, he ordered it!" and he continues eating.
Once everyones finished eating an getting ready to leave he looks at me an says "Are you wet?" An I just stare at him, cause people were still around. Crazy ass.

We get into the car an he asks me if I just wanna stay on this side of town. Might as well. We're trying to find somewhere to park, and the only places hes picking have street lights. We settle on a spot and hop in the back seat. Since I watched that video beforehand I was already ready. Slid down an he instructed me to go sloooow. So I did. Up and down, he grabs my ass, picks it up an lets it go. Then he pushes me up against the front seat (we looked kinda like a V) an I start grinding on him. This is where the piercing comes in handy:) He switches an gets on top, and I'm trying to hold his shirt out the way an he just takes it off. I like naked sex better anyways lol. He's on top diggin deep, an I can't do anything but dig my nails in his back. I flip over an he tells me to get on the floor so he can hit from the back, smackin' my ass an askin me if I love his dick all the while. He should know the answer to that by now:)
This isn't workin so we get out the car, naked in some strange neighborhood. I get on all fours with my face damn near in the gutter. He's hittin all the points, but because we're outside I can't say anything. He snatches me up by my bun, making me arch my back into him. He yanks me up an grabs my throat. He has no idea what this does to me. Uuuuuuuugh. Choking, spanking, hair pulling I love it all. He stops, pulls out, rips the condom off an keeps going. Guess he didn't like the way they felt lol. I get up, dust my knees off an get back in the car. I hop on an start riding away, sucking on his neck. He returns the favor an starts sucking on my neck. The feeling of him thrusting while getting my neck sucked on at the same time way waaaay more than enough for me. That is the BEST feeling in the world, by far. I'm bouncing on his dick, and at this point I want him on top. So I get on my back an have him get on top. Legs closed, knees together, pressed against his chest he starts drilling away. One hand, two hands on my throat an I beg him not to stop. He starts thrusting harder and I start drifting away. Getting choked when you're about to come, the feeling is like taking drugs. It's an incredible high. He stops choking me an grabs my boobs really hard, and I pull his hair, massage his scalp with my freshly manicured nails. He starts grunting, which lets me know he's close. I demand that he finishes in my mouth so he pulls out and I take him in, just swirling my tongue around the tip. Once I think he's finished I pull out, an *GASP* I had no choice but to swallow.

This man is making me go against everything I believe in. Smh. Lol

I chase it with a Smirnoff Sour Apple Bite an we just lay back there catching our breaths.

BM: FUUUUCK!!
M: what?
BM: you!
M: I try:)


He slaps me on the ass an says he's ready to go when I am. I'm still trying to catch my breath. He looked at me an informed me that his dick was sore.
Look, buddy, after dealing with you I can't even properly wipe myself for DAYS. So don't tell me YOU'RE sore. You're not the one walking funny the next day.
I get dressed, an hop in the front seat. He passes out in his boxers, with his hand in em. It was cute. I took the long way home an let baby sleep, cruisin all the way there. Sippin' on my Smirnoff an listenin to the radio it was a nice little drive. When I pull up to his house he's still in a coma. I hop in the back, kiss him on the cheek an tell him we're here. I give him his stuff, an head home. I get in bed, all smiles, smellin like his cologne. Something about smelling like him puts me to sleep. Its nice.


I hope you guys have a nice turkey week:)
Here's some homework to help you burn off some of those post thanksgiving calories

FUSION

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This is how we get down in the backseat. I like it I hope you will too:)

Emailssssss tooooooo AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com

Have a nice day:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Feelin' Frisky

Babes an gents, good morning and good day, depending on where you are.
I was originally gonna blog about strippers vs. their customers and who the bad guy REALLY is, double standards an all that, but then I got that phone call...well, duty calls! So I will be posting that blog another day. Right now I gotta break down last night.

Last night I spent the evening watching movies onDemand, as all my Saturday evenings seem to turn out, and I was going stir crazy. No one responded to my texts all day, FB was wack, Twitter was dead, and there weren't any movies I wanted to see onDemand that I hadn't already seen.
Just as I was about to call it a night I got a simple one word text that made my mood do a 180.

"fix?"

Fuck yeah! He told me to meet him at 1:30 but I was a little confused with the time change an all. I just figured he would call. So I hurry up an get ready, sneak out (because I have to do things like that in this house) and I swooped him up around 1:20ish. We pull up across the street from his house, and I already know the drill: lights off, hop in the backseat an hop on:)
For some reason, anytime I see him sitting there with his dick out telling me to get on, I just fucking lose it. It's great lol. What a coincidence that while I was sliding down his pole E-40's "Slidin Down The Pole" was playing in the background. He decides to help me along by grabbing my hips an pushing me down. He tells me to go slow, so up an down, around an around I go. Up almost all the way to the top, and back down. I heard nothing compares to the feeling of penetration for a man, so that would explain the slow part. As a woman, I like fast rough fucking. So I stop and let him take over.

SIDEBAR: In my past back seat action experiences, the dudes were very vanilla in comparison to him. They sit there while I ride, get on top, and/or have me get on all fours facing the door with them behind. Now, my regular, on the other hand, will prop himself up on my center console an the seat, or the head rest or w/e and start pounding away.

Which is why he's the only one allowed in my backseat:)


I'm getting tossed back and forth, and then we spin around and he gets on top. I put one leg on the back window an one leg on my seat belt and had him go at it. He stops an tells me to get out the car. I just look at him, wondering where I'm going. So I hop out the car, thinking he's just gonna stand up outside the car like last time...nope. He grabs my pajama bottoms, lays em on the ground an tells me to get down. "Trying something new tonight" New indeed. Now I've had sex outside, but not in the middle of a neighborhood! But w/e I didn't care at that point, so I got all fours, stuck my ass in the air an arched my back. He looks at my ass an bites it. I loooooove getting my ass bit on, why, idk. Don't judge me. My ass starts tingling and He's grabbing my hips an slammin me back and I see a car down the street. It turns before I even have time to react but seeing that car made me that much hornier. I'm on all fours, legs together, an he slides his hands down my thighs an pushes them apart. Okay okay, I'm diggin it. Then he grabs me by the neck an pulls me back so my head is on his shoulders. Light choking + good sex = great orgasm.
We get back in the car an continue with the rough sex. He sits in the middle seat, opens his legs wide, sits me on top an hangs my legs on the outside of his legs an man...Gents that's a g-spot stroking position right there. Take notes. He grabs my thighs an my hips an whatever else he can grab. An he grabs em hard. He gets back on top with my legs folded against his chest...

I can't even focus on this damn blog right now tryin to recap last night. Good shit.

So he's on top an I wrap my legs around his waist to pull him in deeper an I grab his shoulders to bring him down to me. Wrapping my legs around him lets me control how deep he goes. An I wanted him to hit rock bottom.
By now it is beyond fucking hot in this car, sweat drippin off his body, my car smells like warm vanilla sugar an whatever cologne he was wearing. He lays down an when I get on top I take my shirt off. (With all my piercings FINALLY back in I must say I have the cutest little torso lol) He sits up an bites me on the boob an I lay on top an start riding him. First slow, then speedin things up a lil bit. I grab him behind the neck an let him know that I do, in fact, love his penis lol...The things people say when they're having sex...smh. I spin around into reverse cowgirl an once again I perform my ass off. Finally, he sits in the middle again, I sit between his legs an lean between the two front seats an start bouncing away on his dick. That's what put him over the edge. He asked me if I wanted him to cum on my face an I said yeah, but I guess it felt so good he couldn't stop. I hop off an sit next to him, he looks at me an says:

Him: "Don't have my fucking kids."
Me: "No worries. No bastards."


He grabs my pj's an wipes himself off, I apologize for not having any wet wipes handy this time, I give him his things an he walks across the street with no pants on.

Once he's gone, I'm still laying in the backseat with my vag pounding like a migrane trying to catch my breath. He sends me a thanks text an I look at the time: 1:17. WTF?! I was trippin because I knew that it lasted quite a while, then I remembered stupid fucking daylight savings time. We got down for about an hour. Can you say one happy camper? So I sat in my car for about 10 minutes, then realized I needed to drive home because I was tired as fuck, and I couldn't just post it in front of his house. So I get dressed, and pull off. I don't even make it home an I'm pulling over to rest again. I lay in my car listening to music an he goes "Sorry if your pussy is sore" an I'm thinkin oh no, don't be sorry:) I'm hungry! Off to Carl's Jr.!

Big Carl (The actual burger this time) an fruit punch in hand, I drive home hoping no one is awake. There's no way I can explain why my once straightened hair is now on the verge of becoming an Angela Davis-esqe afro an why I smell like I just stepped out of an Old Spice commercial. Luckily no one was. Smashed on my burger, then gravity set in an my vag started hurting AGAIN. And I knocked the fuck out.

Good shit if I do say so myself. Good day SIR.

Cut to this morning. Hop in my car to go to the grocery store in the pj's I wore last night an a hoodie covering my fucked up hair. I notice that I can't find my cherry thong. And there's a men's magazine that he left in the front seat. Thank god my mom didn't steal my car cause she had just ridden (or is it rode?) in the car the night before when we went to the movies.
Pull up to the grocery store an find my undies shoved under the passenger seat. Yesss.
Then I look down at my pants. Either there was a shitload of ketchup on the ground or I rolled over a small family of frogs. I have a lot of unidentifiable red smears that weren't there when I left the night before. I expected to find a lil white stain here or there, but this is kinda freaky.

Long, yes, I know. But I also know you guys like details.
Anything you needa tell me can be directed at AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com
Please an Thank You.

TEASPOONS

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
This is what we were doing outside, when I tried to explain how he pushed my legs out. The pic explains it waaaaaaaay better lol

Deuces.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industry

Monday, November 1, 2010

Miss Sixxxty Update:)

Babes an gents I've been gone faaaaar too long.
I am back:)
No stories to really tell tho:(
Halloween = uneventful.
And by uneventful, I mean I didn't get laid:(
Things have just come to a screeching halt and I am NOT pleased to say the least!
But at the end of the day I have no control over another persons decisions, so I just have to mope around and be mad.

Stage 5 Grenade alert.
This man.
I've had sex with him before yes. But as of late I don't really wanna have sex with him now.
Its not that I don't like him or the sex wasn't good, idk I just don't wanna bone him. And I made the mistake of telling him I'd meet up with him.
Because later that night I got tired an wasn't tryna deal with his mess. Let me tell you how the night went.

Missed calls:
10:31 p.m.
10:48 p.m.
10:49 p.m.
11:14 p.m.
11:40 p.m.
11:54 p.m.

Text Received: 10:56 p.m. "Whats up"
Text Received: 11:43 p.m. "DAMN U ASLEEP OR???"

Today.

Missed calls:
11:31 a.m.
3:15 p.m.
and an unknown call around 10 p.m.

Text Received: 10:10 p.m. "Whats up"

Not to mention I have 3 unheard voicemails from him.
Now see why can't this be the person I actually want?? Dudes that I wanna bone hella bad, I don't go blowin their shit up like some psycho ex-girlfriend, I send just one text. If they don't respond, then I assume they're busy and I move on. I don't send those annoying "???" texts because 10 times outta 10 they received my text they just have yet to answer.
So all these damn phone calls have kinda turned me off.
Like dude, I understand that your girlfriend is outta town an you have the house to yourself. Truth be told, I don't wanna fuck you in her bed again. Kinda creepy. But that's no reason to go all bug-a-boo on me!

Back to the person I actually want. Welp. They're M.I.A.

Babes, don't ever let a booty call know they have crack dick. They will hold that shit against you and use it against you too. And you need to have the upper hand in that situation.
I cracked under pressure and now I have lost the upper hand. And I'm paying for it, sadly.
Let's hope this isn't the beginning of another drought.
I will literally check myself into rehab if I suffer another drought.

I'm still trying to work on a schedule that will satisfy both parties. So far I've come up empty handed.

AND ANOTHER THING: even though I am WELL aware that these dudes are not my boyfriends, am I asking too much for them to just give me a heads up when they're interested in another girl? I just don't wanna be left in the dark, wondering why you're not hitting me up, and all the while you're spending time with someone else! I just like to know what's going on, and no, I'm not a very good sharer, but I'm learning, work with me! I keep my feelings to a minimum, but even still I'd be hurt if you were all goo-goo gaa-gaa over someone else. I don't like being the "last resort". If I'm your last resort, don't even bother calling me.

(BTW I just got another phone call. and another voicemail. bringing the total to four.)

I mean fuck, I delegate the "last resorters" to the people who are ehh, and even then I don't even call them up if I don't get what I want. So when I feel I'm becoming a last resort to someone I feel like they're telling me they're bored and that they couldn't get anything better. And I don't like that feeling.

I could just be paranoid, but then maybe I'm on to something.

TROJAN FIRE AND ICE CONDOMS
Okay so I've been dying to try these, one friend says they're fantastic, the other says it burns. We all know how that warming lube mishaps turned out...Thoughts? Send me an email=] AskMissSixxxty@yahoo.com

Then we got my latest obsession. "How you like yo eggs? Fried or fertilized?"

OR watch it HERE via mobile web.
Basically he's asking "would you like me to fry you some eggs? Or fertilize those eggs between ya legs again:)" lolololol
Do they look like Real && Chance OR Pootie Tang && Charlie Murphy???

I'm spent.

FOLDED DECK CHAIR

Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Basically. I'm not a very flexible person. But i love this position. As long as he doesn't keep slipping out an air gets caught in there. Queefs are not cute whatsoever

Night kids=]
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy