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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Oh Happenis...

FINALLY. I actually have some damn time to sit here and write about the telenovela drama known as Happenis and I. I've gotten so lazy when it comes to writing about him and i have no clue why. Especially since everyone likes him so much (when he isn't being an ass).
Basically what happened was our sex life hit a speed bump. He had stopped drinking, and as we all know we can only have (good) sex when he's drunk. So The night I dressed up in the school girl outfit he came over, fucked me for a little bit, then watched Gulliver's Travels (that movie is funny as fuck idgaf what ANYONE says) and he refused to fuck me again so I made him leave. The next time I saw him he fucked em in his bang bus rapist van (he has a car now!) and once again it wasn't that long. I was so confused as to what the fuck was going on. This was so unlike him! The next time I saw him it literally lasted five minutes and I was PISSED. Halfway thru I noticed he was slowing down which meant he was about to cum but he wasn't ready. I stopped moving and told him "Nope. Not again." and he said it'll be more than once calm down. As soon as he said that he busted and reneged on his deal. "Well maybe it will just be once". You asshole! I was snatching my clothes and condoms off the floor and he was asking me why I was so mad and I should be happy I got something. Now, I was slightly intoxicated and I said some not so nice things to him like

"That was bullshit. you could've kept that!"
"The drive over here was longer than the actual sex"
"Idk what's going on with you but if it's gonna continue to be like this I don't wanna do this anymore."

Well, he didn't like that last part so he hit me with "Well I'm moving away anyways so tonight was the last time. I'm doing me. No drinking. No parties. Goodnight." and I was like well fuck you too then! I assumed we were officially over but I knew better than that! About three weeks later he hit me up asking if I was awake and "yes I'm intoxicated" But damnit I was at work! I swear he has the best fucking timing ever. The week after I decided to take a day off to see him. I was kinda super drunk that night so everything is a bit fuzzy. I remember going to his house and us having sex briefly, and then he said something about my boobs to which I answered "Oh whatever don't act like you don't like them", He wouldn't say yes so I literally followed him down the street to his friend's house like a crazy person with my dress half on and he was telling his friend to tell me I had nice boobs so I'd go home. I think I punched him and bit him on the man titty. Smh. And his friend told me "Nice african dress". It was a blue, pink & white dress with cheetah print -__________-. I left, came back with a burrito and we had sex again. I was only semi satisfied with his performance, but def an upgrade from the last few times.

CUT TO this past Friday. He hit me up last week while I was at work AGAIN (like he doesn't know my work schedule by n ow) and even tho I had just taken a friday off two weeks prior, I decided I needed another "vacation" day. Once again I got drunk, got tacos and picked him up. He had his friend with him so we went and kicked it with some of my other friends where everyone was drinking and smoking. And I kept encouraging him to keep drinking beer and taking shots lol. Around 4 we dropped his friend off then went to his house. I go into his room while he grabs another beer from the fridge and I start getting undressed. He took the last few magnums I had left out the car and brought them inside. I could see his boner thru his pants and it just made me oh so happy. I swear he has the nicest dick I've ever seen. He puts on some music, turns the lights down and pushes me down on the bed. Face down, ass up. He gets behind me, he's got a beer in one hand and my ass in the other and he starts going slow and I'm trying to figure out which way the night was gonna go. He puts the beer down and then digs his nails into my hips and I'm like ohhhh yeahhh. THIS is the shit that got me hooked. Going so deep it sounds like you've got your own "applause" light that's that shit I DO like. He pushes me down again so I'm laying flat on my stomach while it seems like he's putting all his weight on the small of my back so I can't move. He still hasn't skipped a beat so I'm in la la land. I know I was being loud as fuck but I really didn't care. Ol' rude ass lol I seriously hope it isn't loud enough for everyone on the other side of the house to hear. He would go between pushing me down and then snatching me back up by a fistful of my hair. He'd pull me up so far that he'd choke me with his other hand which is all I ever want in life anyways. He pushed me back down put this time put my legs together and had his legs outside of mine and started drinking his beer again. He started off slow, then started hitting me with those hard deep strokes and he slipped out.
And missed again.
Shit Happens all over again.
But this time I wasn't gonna let that stop me. He laid on his back and I started riding him reverse cowgirl. First on my feet with my back straight. I know he's enjoying the view because he just keeps calling my name with a couple "oh fucks" thrown in there and some ass slappings in between. Then I got on my knees and elbows and rode him slow so he could see it going in and out and I think he liked that better cause every time I'd get tired and would try to get back on my feet he'd push me hella hard back on my elbows lol. After a while he got tired of watching me work so he sat up and spread my legs to east jesus nowhere and took over. I love being fucked rather than doing the fucking cause he hits my g spot better. So while he's getting all wild and crazy I can hear myself getting louder so I bury my face in the mattress and boom I feel him push me away and when I turned around he goes "Oh hey, there's blood". I decided NOT to swallow this time and he walks out the room to go clean up. When he stabbed me with his dick earlier that night I bled a bit. He comes back in eating chips and guac just staring at me with a huge ass boner and I can't take my eyes off it. And even tho the HBIC is throbbing I put my clothes back on.
I get ready to leave and he starts slapping me on the ass and I'm like can I help you sir? He finishes his chips and pulls his dick back out and I'm like round two? I'm not complaining. Get back down on my hands and knees and he grabs his beer and takes a swig. Halfway in I felt him spit before he went all the way in, and normally this irks me but tonight it turned me on a lil bit not even gonna lie. I didn't even bother to take my shirt off so instead of pulling my hair he pulls my shirt and bra instead. I'm trying my hardest to make sure I don't run from him but I guess I wasn't trying hard enough because he shoved my face into the mattress and grabbed my arm behind my back so I couldn't move. And I loved every second of it.
We finished up again and he comes back in with more chips and guac. I get dressed then ask him, where the rest of my condoms were. Last time we wasted three because he kept taking them off, same with tonight. Before I could grab it he grabs it and is like "No, what do you need this for? Who are you gonna have sex with?" So I snatch it back and ask "Who are YOU gonna have sex with?!" and he tells me we should just get rid of it now. I was confused because I was thinking why are we gonna waste a condom? Then he slaps me on the ass a few times and when I turn around he lifts up my shirt and starts rubbing my boobs. I'm like ooooooh okay I gotcha. I open it and hand it to him and put my hands on the wall like I'm under arrest and wait for him to get situated. I take my bra and shirt back off and he slides my pants off and tells me to lay down. I get on my back and he puts my shoulders on his legs and leans ALL the way down. I have to grab my ankles to keep my legs from shaking. It barely works tho, seeing as to my knees were in my damn ears. This is like the best and worst position ever. It's amazing cause it allows for deeper penetration, but at the same time I can't move and when he goes too deep I get a dull ache in my stomach or uterus or whatever the fuck starts hurting, and my legs start shaking like crazy. He is literally throwing his whole body weight into these thrusts and I think my head is about to explode. I can't do shit but dig my nails into his back. He sits up keeping my legs on his shoulder but picking up the pace. I'm just being loud for no reason whatsoever with the baby yes's oh my god's and fuck's and whatnot...I would had to see myself in a porn...He pulls out and flips me over on my stomach and literally KILLS my vag. And the great thing was we came at the same time;) I can't recall if that's ever happened before but tonight it was amazing. And I guess I didn't notice him pull the condom off earlier again cause he came on my ass, threw a sheet on me and wiped me down, then slapped my ass and said "You're welcome". I was still on saturn somewhere. I had no control of my legs whatsoever, they refused to move when I tried getting dressed again, so I just lied there, trying to catch my breath. This fool comes back into the room with a big ass bowl of guac and chips and is just munching away. He sat down next to me and his dick was still pretty hard so I grabbed it just to measure with my fingers how girthy it was. I can make a ring with my index finger and thumb nails touching.
And I wear acrylics.
And I need a fill.
I'll let you use your imagination for that one.
Finally I have some strength in my legs and I get dressed, and he keeps football slapping me on the ass and I get in my car thin king I'm about to drive to LA. Silly girl you can't even push the pedals down because not only are your legs weak but your cooch hurts and everything is too sore to move! So I really just sat in my car in front of his house for half an hour before I hit the road. And when I got to work that night the girls told me I didn't miss anything cause everyone did shitty. Which made my night THAT much better.

And there you have it. There is your Happenis update.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryyy

Friday, September 7, 2012

Best I Ever Had.

Alrighty babes and gents if you follow me on twitter you may remember me tweeting something about shirtless LA dudes and cold weather and the best fucking head I've ever received in my life. And even if you didn't time to elaborate.

One night at work it was really slow so I hung out in the dressing room most of the night. Something told me to come out of the dressing room during the arm wrestling contest. They hold them between customers to boost crowd participation and give away the cheapest porns you've ever seen in your life.As I stood in the doorway I saw the most beautiful shirtless man I had ever seen. His back muscles were absolutely gorg. Then I prayed his face wasn't ugly and thank God he was gorg too. And his pecs...*drools* he was just AMAZING. I was walking around naked at the time so I bum rushed the stage, grabbed his man boobs, and stole his shirt. Cause I didn't want him to put it on. Lol. I chatted with him for most of the night, and I honestly don't remember half the shit he was saying except his name and the fact he's originally from Arizona. All I was thinking was "Just cause we're naked and he's shirtless we aren't going to straddle him. Yet". Like it took every ounce of will power in me to not try to fuck the shit out of him right then and there. I gave him my number, and made sure not to accept any cash from him. So then he technically wouldn't be a customer. I texted him when the weekend was over and we made plans to hang out the next time I was in LA.
I hit him up on friday to let him know I'd be in town for the weekend. I didn't hear back from him until the next day and he told me that he and his friends were going out that night and I should join them. As much as I would've loved to I had to be at work that night until 6am. Throughout the night he was telling me how his night was going, and then he said they were having a bbq later that day and I should join. "Unless you wanna come hang out after work;)" Why didn't my dumb ass pick the bbq I SHOULD HAVE PICKED THE FUCKING BBQ!!!!!!!!!! I told him not to play with me, because I actually would go to his house after work. It was just like a :you won't" back and forth and I didn't think we'd actually SEE each other. I expected him to pass out drunk and not to see him til later that day. He actually hit me up right before I felt work and asked me if I was still coming. Fuck. Say no. Bitch say no!!! "yeah I just gotta know where I'm going." *face palm*. NO!!!!! Bitch why?!?!?!?!?!?! All my coworkers were like "Don't fuck him. Just make out with him." I told them I wouldn't fuck him and I would just make out with him and MAYBE let him dry hump me. Bad idea.I drove all the way to the coast. At 6am. Knowing exactly why I was going there. I get to his house, and it's actually pretty dope. It's right near the beach and whatnot. He led me to his room, and it was the kind you have to step down into. I excused myself to the bathroom so I wouldn't have a repeat of the tampon incident. And I went back to his room. We watched some weird ass "scary" movie which was basically me watching it while he drifted in and out of sleep When the movie was over he asked me about my piercings, and I showed them to him, and he seemed especially fascinated with my three tongue rings. That's all he kept talking about. He mentioned he used to have his tongue pierced then a stupid ex girlfriend brainwashed him and convinced him to take it out. I proceeded to voice my disgust for his ex after that lol. Then he sat up on his knees, stared at me for a minute, then said "I need to know what those tongue rings feel like. Can I kiss you?" Of course stupid, you don't have to ask! And this was the beginning of the end.
He is just an amazing fucking kisser. He doesn't suck on my bottom lip too hard. And did I mention he was shirtless? And beautiful? and his eyes are this light brown that just....gaaaaaaaaah. Then he would kiss my neck, back up to my mouth and my brain was just mush. And for some reason every now and then I would smile and laugh while we made out. And I have no idea why. Then He licked down my neck, to my boobs and I just remember telling my self "no sex, no sex, no sex" and before I knew it he pushed up my tank top and just started licking my stomach up and down. I felt my leg twitch and I was like no just hold out a lil longer! He licked down my stomach and past my belly button, and then he threw my leg on his shoulder and started licking the ninja kitty. Over the yoga pants. And I wanted him to strip me down so bad. But he wouldn't! After a while he slipped my pants off, but did the same thing, this time over my thong. I just wanted to punch him in the skull for teasing me like this.  Finally everything came off and I fucking LIVED. I purely hated that man's existence and loved him at the same time. That is a grown ass man for you. And fuck his roommates for being in their home while I was there. because I literally wanted to scream my head off. It was THAT good. Lick, suck, nibble repeat. I hate the word clit but he would circle mine with his tongue and it would send chills up my spine, then I would start to run. He hooked both his big ol' muscular biceps around my thighs so I couldn't go anywhere, I just had to lay there and enjoy it. God I hate him. I hate him!!!!! I wasn't supposed to have sex but after that performance I felt I had no choice BUT to. He was down there for a while and just when I thought I couldn't take anymore he came up for air, kissed me then rolled onto his back and I attempted to return the favor. Now, this dude is low key hairy, I don't know his ethnicity, but he shaves where it counts. He shaves his chest and lets only a lil bit grow back and it looks sexy af, and he manscapes. That's all that matters in that regard. His dick is girthy, but wasn't very long:/ whatever his tongue makes up for that. I started off fine it wasn't until he told me to bring my ass to him when I failed miserably. We started 69 but then it ended more like him eating me out and me just giving him a half ass hand job because I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I got off his face and crawled to his dick and I sat on it. I rode him for a little bit then he put his arms around my back and said "You ready?" And he flipped me over on my back without sliding out. I laid on my back and I waited for him to get ready. He put my legs on his shoulders and went to semi work. I only say that because I'm used to rough hard fucking and idk if he was being kinda gentle cause his roommates were home or he thought that's what I wanted. But he moved my legs off his shoulders, bent down and sucked on my neck while he was thrusting. Hey sir? I think I love you. He sat back up and turned me on my side while he sat straight up. He has a big ass mirror by his bed so I just watched us while he was all focused on my ass. I moved my leg higher up so we would almost be in doggy and he told me that was the kill position and not to move. Okie doke. He still got behind me and did it anyways, then ta-daaaa. It was done. I didn't care cause he was beautiful and his head was amazing. So I laid on my stomach, and he just starts kissing my neck again, licking from my neck all the way down my back til he got right to the top of my crack. And sorry I can't think of a sexier word than crack. But Whenever he got to about the middle of my back I got the chills again, and he kept doing it and I felt myself getting wet again. Then before I knew it he yelled "SURPRISE!" And rammed it back in. Weeeeeeeeeee round two! So while I'm on my stomach with my ass arched into him he asks me if he can have some of my AriZona (how funny. A guy from Arizona drinking an AriZona.) so he's got one hand on the small of my back controlling my ass and the other he's drinking my green tea. So funny to check out in the mirror.
We had sex twice that day, took a nap, then he told me I could stay for the bbq later that day. I really needed to take a shower tho so instead I went back to my friend's house. Then after that he started acting all sketch. All I wanted to do was fuck him every time I came to LA and he had to start acting all gay and shit. He worked in tv production and had to be awake at like 5 every morning to beat morning traffic on his commutes so I would text him every now and then just to say hey, and then on the weekends just to let him know I'd be down there. It was one excuse after another. "This week at work was real brutal. I'm exhausted." "I'm getting sick" "I''m sick" after the third weekend I got annoyed and didn't hit him up after that. I felt if he really was sick he would hit me up when he got better. he hit me up like two weeks later to say he was feeling better, that he took a mini vaycay to Arizona to visit family and friends and that he would be back in LA monday night. He asked me how I had been and I told him "Sexually frustrated". He laughed at me, even though I wasn't joking. HE was the one who said "Well maybe when I get back to LA I can help you out with that;)". HE said it. I didn't even ask for it. So I sent him a picture and he was talking about how he wished he was back in LA and unfortunately I wouldn't be able to see him til next weekend. Now I haven't had sex in God knows when, and I decided to go all out this weekend. I shaved EVERYTHING, did my hair, picked out a cute outfit to see him in in case we went out for drinks or something, the whole nine. Texted him when I was on my way to LA, no response. Texted him the next night to see what he was up to, no answer. DUDE WTF?!?!?! Why would you tell me you're basically going to fuck me then just ignore me?!?!?!? I would've rather you had said no and I could've gone on about my merry way instead of planning my entire weekend around you. You don't need to blow smoke up my ass. If you're being a passive aggressive little pussy, then stop. Just say hey it was a one night thing I'll chalk it up as a loss and go on about my business. Stop tryna string me along. Like don't tell me you're gonna help me with my "problem" when you clearly aren't. If I don't wanna fuck you I'll make sure you know it so there isn't a question of doubt. I hate that his head was absolutely life changing cause now I'm spoiled. That's all I really wanted from him anyways. The sex was fun but ti wasn't AMAZING. I'd rather make out with him and give each other oral.

*SIDEBAR: I think 69 is a completely pointless position if one person is good at giving head. If the head is mediocre I can focus more on giving you head, which is good for you, but then I'd rather just give you head and you enjoy it. Now if you're amazing at it, then I can't focus on blowing you and I should just save us the trouble and sit on your face. So you don't think I suck at suckling dick. I'm really good when I can focus and don't have someone raping my clit with their tongue and pulverizing my g-spot with their fingers.

He knows the value of foreplay because he is a grown ass man. Don't know his age, think he's like 24+. But I've never had anyone focus on foreplay like that. I keep trying to tell guys not to underestimate the power of foreplay. Sure you may find it boring, but this isn't about you it's about pleasing your lady. But w/e. So once again I'm going back to ignoring this cunt. Yes, CUNT. Because that's exactly what hes acting like. Ol' bitch. My problem isn't that he isn't trying to fuck me again or whatever, my problem is he won't man up and just say so. If he did at least I'd know what it was. Whatever. I'll just sit here and twiddle my thumbs while I wait to get laid.

But I'd feel real stupid if he dropped his phone in the ocean and lost all his numbers. That's still an option right?
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

The Gummy Bear Dude. And His Dog.

Sorry about my hiatus babes and gents. I've been verrrry very lazy lately. And I hate blogging from my netbook cause sometimes the buttons on my keyboard don't work, then I start looking illiterate. So I have to wait to be able to use the family computer and blah blah blah other things you don't care about everyone just wants to hear about how Happenis and I are doing. Lol. Well I told you I had to do three blogs for you so here goes.

So there's the boy I told you guys I casually fuck every now and then? The Gummy Bear dude aka The Mexican Across Town (cause he lives in east jesus nowhere). Well anyways, after the gummy bear night he decided to start sneaking me into the house and we would chill in his room. Bong rips, shot guns and sex. And if you aren't familiar with smoker terminology a shot gun is when a guy takes a hit and then passes the smoke to a girl (or guy. whatever floats your boat) like he's doing cpr. Usually ends in a kiss. And no I'm not a smoker now. I swear. Anyways so the first time we had sex in the room it was nice He starts with going down on me, then we switch. And his bed is really high off the ground so he'll usually bend me over the bed. The only thing that sucks is when his family is there and we have to be quiet, cause then that means I can't get it rough:/ . We had sex once, then we were just chillin' for a minute and I see him start stoking his junk. I'm like "Ohhh, round two?" and he was like "I don't know, maybe if you can get it hard again". That wasn't too hard. No pun intended. Let round two commence! So I think I was on all fours on his bed and I heard what sounded like someone trying to open his door. He didn't seem concerned so I was like whatever. Then all of a sudden the door opens slightly and I've never seen that boy move so fast. I remember as I watched him run to the door I kept looking at his ass, thinking about how small it was. And it made me laugh (on the inside). But he's a skinny boy, so I can't knock him. But that kinda ended our night:/
The next time I saw him, it was more or less of the same thing. We started off with a few bong rips but this time his dog kept scratching the door so he was like "I gotta let her in." okay, fine. He let's his big ass pit into the room and immediately she starts jumping on me. I'm like uhhhhhhhh...okay. And for some reason he had to leave the room so it was just me and the dog. I tried to get on the bed and she was like "No bitch. I'm the only bitch in his life." and started fucking with me. When I sat on the edge of the bed with my feet hanging off she would jump on my back and lick my face. And she was HEAVY. Then I crawled into the middle of the bed and sat on my knees. Then she kept walking around me in circles and whacking me with her tail. It reminded me of getting whopped with a belt. That shit was painful! I swear she was doing it on purpose. and I couldn't move cause she kept circling me like she didn't want me to move outta her sight. Finally The Gummy Bear dude comes back and he tries unsuccessfully to get her to leave me alone. He puts her on the ground and tries to make a pallet for her on the ground and she'd rather be on the bed. Ugh. Whyyyy can't we just put the dog outside?! Finally it seems as though she's finally listening to him so she lies down. And after he calls the dog a cock block lol he pulls the covers over his head and gives me head. And at first I was enjoying it, that is until I turned my head to the side. The dog was staring at me with that confused doggy face, the one where they cock their head to one side and just stare at you. And I swear his dog was staring into my soul at that point. And it kinda creeped me out lol.I kinda laughed and he poked his head out the blanket so see what was going on and then scolded her again. Finally she left us to do our thing, and the entire time I kept thinking about his dog's face! we finish up and then I go on my merry way. I haven't seen him since then, but I seriously hope the next time when I do go have sex in his house the dog is far, far away.
I just feel weird. Like I know my dog is a dog, but I won't even let him see me naked. I feel weird about it! As if he's a little baby and shouldn't be looking at naked people. Hence why I dress him up in cute little outfits. Anyways....

One down, two more to go. And they will post automatically so hopefully this will hold you off for a while.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy