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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I Just Gave...

...the longest blow job of my life. I was just feelin' generous one night so I called this guy up (no nickname as of yet). He's just fun to fuck around with, albeit if he isn't always available (booooooo). He told me he only had 20 minutes to spare and I'm thinkin' "too easy" so he slides the seat back and I go to town. 24 minutes later I'm like "Don't you need to go?" and he tells me to just keep going. It's like every time he would tell me "Just like that...keep it just like thaaaast" my jaw would start aching. Switching between licking and sucking just got too damn tiring at one point I was thinkin I know it's past his bedtime. I told him I was gonna try to go for a record and he decided to take that as a personal challenge to see how long he could keep from busting. I was bent in so many odd positions trying to get in a comfortable oral giving position that I woke up the next day feeling like I had gotten violated by a horse when I didn't even have sex. After an hour he finally came. Better late than never I say!
We hadn't been seeing much of each other lately because we have been off doing our own things. One morning at like 4:30 a.m. I get a phone call from him. Half asleep I answer the phone and he screams "THIS IS A BOOTY CALL. WAKE UPPPPP. REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WENT TO THE CASINO AND I LOST 200 BUCKS? I DIDN'T EVEN REALLY WANNA HAVE SEX THAT NIGHT BUT I STILL ASKED ANYWAYS. REMEMBER WHEN YOU RAPED ME?? YEAH, YOU OWE ME. SO BRING THAT ASS." Anything else sir? After a little back and forth I made my way over to east jesus nowhere (with the promise of going straight to sleep right after). This was before gas prices started fucking us in the ass again. I get there and the big dude that tried spooning with me the first time we had sex was there and so was that stupid ass cunt that tried molesting me when he thought I was passed out. We just sat around talking for a minute and then we decided to head off to bed.
We're layin in bed making small talk and somehow he pushed me out the bed! Then he elbowed me and I wasn't sure if this was a form of foreplay or if he was just being a drunken idiot.
Me: Keep it up and I'm gonna kick your ass.
Sexsomniac: No you won't...because you love me like a brother.
Me: ..............please don't say that before we have sex. It's kinda creepy...
Sexsomniac: Okay well you love me like a good friend.
Much better...I roll over and start kissing him and he starts pulling at my sweats. The thing I like about having sex with him is he likes kissing. Kissing before sex is very underrated. And on the contrary, just because you kiss me during sex doesn't mean I'm going to all of a sudden catch feelings for you. It's just one of those things I like during sex. Now, kissing and there isn't and sex involved is another story (unless I'm drunk...but I can't remember JUST drunkenly making out with someone...). Anyways, we get undressed, he grabbed on my fanny, pulled out the jammie, and killed the punani (kinda) *in my Ice Cube voice*
SIDEBAR: Punani and fanny are one of those words I hate
I started out on top, riding him a little bit...but it's been so long since I've been on top IN A BED that the mattress wasn't firm enough and I couldn't get into a groove. Car sex will do that to you. I got off and we started spooning. It's so weird, cause his dick isn't the biggest (it ain't the smallest either) but he can still hit certain spots. Every time he thrusted I'd bend over a lil more until I folded like a lawn chair. I got bored after a while so I pushed him back and told him to get on his knees. I bent down in front of him and started throwin' it back at him. And I don't mean where I'm on all fours rocking my entire body into him. Dancing at the strip club has taught me to work my hips and ass in ways I didn't know capable. I was pitching a lot of ass and he was catching just as good. Felt great EXCEPT the way my ass was going back and forth reminded me of a jello mold on a plate I felt like my ass was about to slide the fuck off my body. I hate that feeling but when I looked back at him the look on his face said he was enjoying the fuck outta that shit, so I continued. He took over after a while and I just stuffed my head under a pillow to muffle myself, but you could still hear *clap, clap, clap, clap*. I heard the two dudes down the hall laughing and I couldn't figure out if they could hear us or if they were laughing about something else. But that wasn't gonna stop me from getting my issue handled, no ma'am. He's really the only guy who's ever gotten close to making me feel the way Happenis did but it is obviously not the same AT ALL...that man needs to hurry up and bring his ass BACK.
He finally busts, and as we're cleaning up and getting dressed we're having a convo like we didn't just have sex. We go rejoin the boys, play a quick game of beer pong and I decide I'd rather go to sleep in my own bed. As I get ready to leave he asks me where I'm going and I say I'm going home.
Sexsomniac: REAL! So you're just gonna leave huh...hit it and quit it? I feel so used...
Well damn, my bad homie. And all this time I had been thinking dudes actually WANTED me to leave after sex. Smh. lol
Don't text me asking if I want the dick and when I say yes say "That's nice". You woke me up out my sleep, made me horny and shut me down in a matter of 5 minutes. I hate your life. Don't text me again.
The Rain Check man still ain't tryna let a bish be great and cash that shit in...we see each other here and there and we're friendly so I don't know what the deal is.
Sex. When it's good it's great. When it's bad it's still pretty good.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy