I hate the fact that I can go from zero to annoyed in 2.5 seconds. Especially over little shit. Like shit that should be little, but I blow it up all outta proportion nshit...Still trying to figure out coitus courtesy 5 years and counting later...I hate phones. I hate the word "No." or any variation of the word out of a fwb mouth. I have determined sex will just NEVER be in the cards for me at the rate I want it. And damn my self control. That's the only thing that makes me feel a little better, knowing I'm not a sex addict. My reasoning is if I was addicted, and I'm not, but if I was I'd be cruising dark alleys for ass and letting just anyone drill me. And I don't. But then that leaves me in the position to complain all the time, I just wanna meet someone who wants sex as much as I do I say this shit til I'm literally blue in the face but outta all the fish in the sea I gotta deal with this shit. I try to ask for advice on what to do and basically the only answer I get is
"Oh why don't you just text him first? Closed mouths don't get fed"
To hell with that bullshit, okay?! I have tried that texting first bullshit and it DOESN'T WORK. I might just have the world's worst timing but even still, I shouldn't hear no as often as I do. And it's not like from people I fucked once, I've usually had sex with them more than once, which makes me wonder how they can even turn a quickie down. Why the fuck should I even have to ask in the first place? I've you've fucked me before you should know I'm literally ALWAYS down for sex. You have the penis, you know when it gets hard late at night, and you know how to get in contact with me. Since I always end up being the willing party balls basically in your court. I refuse to believe that outta everyone that none of you hoes want to have sex more than once a week/every other week. When I think about it the closest I got to some consistent peen was about once a week on weekends. Now I can't even get that. I think I had sex twice in January. TWICE. It's like coming in last place. And oh sure, I could probably broaden my horizons but shit how broad are we talking? I'm very picky with the vagine I'd really like to keep it to a minimum. Fortunately I haven't gotten desperate blah blah blah complain complain complain. THIS IS WHAT I DO I COMPLAIN AND BITCH ABOUT THE LACK OF SEX IN MY LIFE. My vag is going to shrivel up and die an old maid. I'm tired of watching porn all the fucking time and getting off alone. At least when I get off with someone I feel happy. When it's just me it's like "mmmMMMMmAAAAAAAHHHhhhhh....okay now look to your left, and look to your right. That's right, you are ALONE." and this weird sense of guilt comes over me and I close my laptop and go to sleep. What did I do in my past life? Do I need to find Rumplestilskin and promise him my first born? Drink the blood of an albino tiger? WHAT. IS. IT?!?!?!?!?!?!
This shit has to be chemical since I haven't had any "traumatic" experiences. I mean what else can explain this madness? Trust I don't wanna crave sex every hour of the damn day I wish I COULD be just happy gettin it on every few weeks or so. "You just got some last week" "SO FUCKING WHAT that was last week we're talking about today now!" Oh hey, why don't I look do Cosmo for some advice, guys give input there right? "I love when a girl texts me first it shows assertiveness and I find that sexy" *throws magazine into the fireplace* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO booooooooo your advice sucks! Then again why am I talking advice from a sex magazine who featured Dakota Fanning on the cover? I was done with Cosmo a year ago.This is the time where I bang my head mercilessly into the keyboard and roll around the ground like a wounded seal and whine about how unfair this all is. Excuse me.
I'm upset. Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy