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Friday, June 1, 2012

Never Have I Ever...

...been rejected before. In my life. Until the other night.Happenis Jr. certainly was a damn spot on nickname.

So a little bit of background on him. I was set up on a semi blind date with a retard and Happenis Jr. gave me a shot of gin and ended up chatting me up more than my so called "date" and we ended up exchanging numbers. We would text throughout the day when he talked me thru my first hangover (which was THEE worst; I never get hangovers. Idk what went wrong that night) and I went to visit him at work (upon his request, I wouldn't just "pop up" outta nowhere). We made plans to hang out again that night. Go to a party, drink a lil bit, and he invited me back to his house to go cuddle. Little did I know that's really all he wanted to do:/ We did a lot of that, and it felt nice to not have to sleep alone...although there wasn't any making out. He did, however, enjoy my ass. a LOT. He kissed it, bit it, and stuck his face in it lol. Guys are weird. He then goes on and on about how he's never been with a black girl before and how pretty I am and whatnot, just complimenting me all night.
Anyhow, we hung out again another night and he actually got me to take a hit off a bong and it was a lot better than that time with The Carnie. We watched cartoons and I thought Drawn Together was the funniest show ever invented. He had to be at work early the next morning so he said it was time for bed. I tried seducing him, but nothing. Fail. We hung out again and THIS time we played some old school Sega Dreamcast, and he proceeded to kick my ass in all these games I had never even heard of (except Tetris). After we finished, he suggested I do shrooms. Sir, hell no. Weed is my limit with you. He was trying to explain all the good things shrooms do to you but I wasn't impressed. So he was like "Well you should try wax". I've heard of it but I don't know exactly how they make it or anything, and he was like it's healthier than smoking actual grass. He could've just been talking out his ass but I thought I'd try it. He was like "Let's do it naked". Sure why not. We strip down and take a hit. I got a small one so it didn't do TOO much...but  I knew I'd be hungry so I suggested we get some grub before I get too fucked up to drive. We got dressed then he made me take another hit, this time it was bigger. 'If you don't feel anything after this you're fucking immune to weed cause I just gave you a fat ass hit". Nothing happened until I started driving down the street. All of a sudden my whole body felt weird and the lights were blending together. I thought I was floating away! We get to the drive thru and I order the food and everything was all good til I pulled up to the window. I saw the drive thru employee dude and fucking LOST IT. I couldn't stop laughing for shit. Every time I looked over I laughed. Happenis Jr. kept asking me what was wrong with me and I just kept screaming "I DON'T KNOW DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!" It was so bad I couldn't even pull my debit card out my wallet. After struggling a bit I got it out but couldn't put it back in so I just stuck it between my legs. When th guy handed us our food I lost it again and couldn't move. I had to tell him to grab the food between laughing fits and he just kept asking what was wrong with me. The drive thru guy had to have been annoyed with me but I couldn't even explain what was going on without laughing. Happenis Jr. just made a smoking motion and the guy started laughing at me.We get back to his house and I just fucking demolished that ultimate bacon cheeseburger (hold the cheese). I went to go put on the movie again and so while I'm bent over he's just rubbing on my ass, slowly working his hands under my shorts and I look back at him and tell him he's supposed to be naked. He takes his clothes back off and goes on about how he trimmed his man bush (I wish it was completely gone but I hadn't shaved in like four days so ehh...) and then he shows me he's uncut by stuffing his peen into the foreskin. I told him with the most serious face ever not to do that shit again. He goes on telling me how keyed I am and I don't remember how or when I just remember being really wet. So I kinda straddled him, then got off and asked if I could get something out of his drawer.

"As long as it's not weed or cash."

I grabbed a condom and tossed it to the side of the bed. You know, just in case. He got up and then while he was on his knees just kinda wedged himself between my legs as if he wanted to do something but was hesitating. He was rubbing on my legs and asking me things I really can't remember and then he asked if my hood had any scars from having my piercing ripped out. I told him everything down there looks the same and that my vag wasn't purple like he thought so he goes oh let me see! I seriously felt like I was getting a pap the way he was down there examining. He told me I had a Mexican girl vag..whatever that means...then he laid down and told me I was gonna kiss and rub on him and I was like hmm...So I got on top of him and started caressing his arms a bit, then I kissed him and he didn't kiss me back. Odd. Finally enough of the games I asked him for some. He asked if I wanted his peen and I nodded. Then he asked if that's what I grabbed out the drawer and I nodded again. So he tells me to put it on. I was still a little too high and it was dark so he put it on instead and I rode him. It was all good til I got off wanting to switch positions. Then everything went to hell. He starts telling me he's sleepy ad he has work early in the morning. At first I thought he was joking, but he kept saying it over and over and I'm like look you aren't going to sleep. He gets up and starts rambling about how he's not supposed to be having sex and I'm thinking he's gonna start saying it's for religious reasons but no he starts talking about how he wants to "stay clean, no offense to you". And he starts telling me he doesn't really wanna have sex and that he just wants to be friends. I rolled over and kept saying "I understand" when I really had no idea what the fuck just happened. He asks if I'm mad at him. "Nope." and he gets up telling me I made him all wt and he goes to the bathroom. I should've made my break for it then but I was siting in a daze. Did that really just happen? I put my shorts back on and went to sleep. We didn't even cuddle that night.
The next morning I got up and got dressed and when he came back from the bathroom he was like "Oh you're ready to leave?" No shit. I didn't look him in the eyes and gave him a half assed hug before I drove away. I just wanted to cry. I know I washed my ass before I got there, and I barely had any hairs growing...Where the fuck did I go wrong? I know I wasn't being too aggressive, and he was sending me all kinds of hints, not to mention he wasn't complaining when I was on top! So where did all that other shit come from?! "Stay clean" mf'er we were using condoms wtf?! I'm still puzzled. He had invited me to a reggae show the next night and I had completely forgot. I probably would've still blown it off anyways had I remembered. I mean maybe he thought I would catch feelings if we continued? Honestly I only wanted you for sex and if we aren't having sex...then I really have no use for you, do I? The reggae show was at 9, and he called me at like 4:30 in the morning. I didn't answer...wonder what he wanted...

Someone enlighten me as to what the fuck went wrong.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

11 comments:

  1. Here we go again with another one of these lame nuggas but anyways who would send all those mixed signals and renig basically I mean what did you put the condom in u mean that was a waist of damn time if you really didn't want to fuck or you busted and were embarrassed, or hot something, or I'd just gay I mean personally baby is BaD for a person to be playing games and saying shit like "let's get naked" that dumb rubbing on your ass and shit wtf who does that unless he wanted to see if you were easy or was put up to it cause any regular dude woulda hit that idgaf.... I'm puzzled to y niggas act like females... Hmmm well I still love the blog hope everything works out your beautiful ain't no need for the tears. Onto better times was that the first time you smoked? And would you smoke again? When I started smokin weed I fucked 3x longer. Lol but anyway I hope everything works out... See I just need to run into you one day...

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    1. he didn't finish. weed is grown by the devil.

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  2. Here we go again with another one of these lame nuggas but anyways who would send all those mixed signals and renig basically I mean what did you put the condom in u mean that was a waist of damn time if you really didn't want to fuck or you busted and were embarrassed, or hot something, or I'd just gay I mean personally baby is BaD for a person to be playing games and saying shit like "let's get naked" that dumb rubbing on your ass and shit wtf who does that unless he wanted to see if you were easy or was put up to it cause any regular dude woulda hit that idgaf.... I'm puzzled to y niggas act like females... Hmmm well I still love the blog hope everything works out your beautiful ain't no need for the tears. Onto better times was that the first time you smoked? And would you smoke again? When I started smokin weed I fucked 3x longer. Lol but anyway I hope everything works out... See I just need to run into you one day...

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  3. These mescans is lucky

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  4. The simplest answer is usually the right one. Once he busted his nut, he was done. He had his first time with a black girl and fulfilled his curiosity. Nothing is wrong with you, you were just at the right place at the right time for him to take this sexual opportunity. This happened to me one time with a white cougar who had never been with a man darker than khaki. She and I knew what this was and afterwards we went on our merry way. Another good blogpost. Regards, Ryan. (also I cry for our generation when responses contain horrible grammar and diction)

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    1. i never said he finished. you gotta read it again.

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  5. First let me start by saying love the blog I have a question for you looking for your advice you seem like you hit it all together my question is: Is it ok to have casual sex with a ex's sister who you dated 8 years ago and your kool with.?

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    1. if you guys are cool now you won't be for long. friends/family/associates of exes are only fair game when you guys have completely severed ties.

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  6. Good to know thanks... So do I keep it a secret or I'm mean how to go about.

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    1. If you wanna fuck the sister stop bring friends with the ex. I hope the ex doesn't kill you both. Crimes of passion are real.

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