CLUTCH.

I was having a talk with my bestest male friend in the whole wide world about what needs to be done in order to get my sexual needs met. I asked him why can't I just have sex with someone every day, or at least a few times a week and he tells me because dudes consider that to be boyfriend territory. Well that isn't fucking fair! A lot of the dudes I've slept with would be terrible boyfriends. That's not why I have sex with them. Sometimes they know how to move their asses just right and I can appreciate that! I'm like so what you're saying is I need a boyfriend huh...well I know plenty of people in relationships who LIVE together and still don't have sex all the time. Which I find very weird. So basically he told me I'm literally assed out. Life is so fucking unfair:( I figure the only way I can accomplish this is by having a steady rotation, and I don't wanna do that. I just wanna find someone like me who only wants to have sex all the time. I didn't think it would be that hard to find, ohhhh but it is! I mean if having a boyfriend means I'll get it more often then shit, what choice do I really have (and no, I wouldn't want a boyfriend JUST for sex. I'd actually care for them too. The sex would just be a big ass bonus). In the meantime I'll just count the hairs on my head until the next time I get laid.

Sexsomniac comes in too clutch. I love the fact that we can go out and kick it with our friends, have sex later, and continue kicking it and it isn't weird. He doesn't try to make shit weird around us, but then it's prolly cause the people we hang around with already know we hook up on occasion. He usually comes around right before I'm about to snap and break dishes and whatnot, and for that I'm thankful he keeps me sane. Even when he has a girlfriend he comes in clutch. And maybe if they were a lot nicer and not so damn stuck up I wouldn't let him come in clutch. D'ahh well. So one night he hits me up and I think I was really blown and he tells me to come drive to east jesus nowhere to drink. I think I'll have to pass on this. The next day my brother hits me up and asks if I wanna go to lunch with them. I say sure, but the only catch is I still have to drive to east jesus nowhere to go pick them up. Fuuuuuuuuh. But I haven't seen him in months since he's been on the rag (I.e. been with his punk ass bitch of a gf) and I was like alright. We all spent the day together and we were gonna go to a party that night. Before we went they wanted to stop by Sexsomniac's house to shower and change clothes and whatnot. So I'm just there waiting for them to get ready and whatnot, while they're just doing stupid things boys like to do, and Sexsomniac suggests my brother take a shower first. All I'm thinking is I hope these hoes hurry up I still have to go home and get ready. So once the shower starts running he closes the door and says "You wanna have sex right now?" All I said was "Right now?" and he lifted my leg around him, laid me down and kissed me in one swift motion. You smooth ass bastard you. He starts unbottoning my pants and flips me over on my stomach and I'm like wait...what if he comes in. So he thinks moving in front of the door is a better idea. "Oh great so now he's gonna hit me in the face with the door while my pants are at my ankles". He was like "Let's just go to my mom's room" (Sorry!) and we get a quickie in. I used to be anti quickie, but now not so much. We straighten ourselves out and he asks me if we've ever had sex when he's sober. Not that I can remember. And then he asks why we don't have sex more often. I wanted to slap him. We don't have sex more often because of YOU. It's your fault. I let every dude know after we have a good sesh that I'd like to have sex all the time (I should probably stop saying this) so the ball is always in their court. I hate having to ask for sex because I don't like hearing no whether they're too busy, not in town, have a girlfriend at the moment or just plain ol' don't want to (which is insane). I'm like when you wanna have sex you let ME know. You know this. For the most part I'm always down. Now if you hit me up for sex and I just flat out say no, then I don't fuck with you anymore and you should take the hint then. And not continue to ask 4 years and counting later. If memory serves me correctly he said he's work on it or something.

After we leave his house we go to my house so I can get ready and we go to this party. Now my friend asked me in advance if I was gonna invite this other guy I've had sex with and I'm like no, I'm bringing Sexsomniac. I know not to ruin a good thing by bringing sand to the beach. I am NOT about to choose between my clutch and the best head giver this side of the west coast. There's no way to equally divide my attention between the two where they feel like I only have lustful eyes for them. So she says okay, and then 5 minutes away from her house she texts me "OMG HE'S HERE." HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?! He ended up coming with someone else who was invited and she wasn't gonna turn him away. I'm like fuuuuuuck this is bad. I just had sex like 3 hours ago. Fuck my lifeeeeeeee. We go inside the house and I say what's up to him and give him a hug, then offer to give him some stuff he forgot last time I saw him. On the way outside he tells me he's "officially single", whatever the fuck THAT means (we'll get on that when I post his blog). And I'm like well that's god to know, seeing as to how I didn't say anything to him about sex, a relationship, or his on and off gf at that time. Whatever. I tried to make the night as normal as possible, although I did slip up and ended up sitting in his lap for a little bit, before my senses kicked in and were like "Bitch just what the fuck do you think you're doing?". The night ended drama free, which is what I wanted to begin with and we all went on our merry ways. Although...I was high once again that night and Sexsomniac wanted to leave early but I wasn't ready to go. So I dropped him off and came back, hung out with the dude (he needs a nickname already) just to get kicked out by my friend's drunk ass boyfriend not too long after. The weed was saying go after him, my brain was saying thou shalt not fornicate with two men in less than 24 hours. So I just drove my ass home. Glad that was over.

I said I would only sleep with three new people this year then I would find a boyfriend (keep your judging to yourself. You knew what you were coming to read when you clicked the link) and right now I only have one spot left and it's only fucking April. Something's gotta give. I just wanna be a reformed semi sex addict where I don't NEED it all the damn time. Is that possible? Do I have to go to rehab? Sex addicts anonymous? I really don't wanna have to do all that extra shit...

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy