I have come to the conclusion that men are complete idiots.
Case in point, my last encounter, we shall cal him T.O.N.y. (in reference to the Solange song).
Lemme set the scene:
5 a.m. I'm driving to the Ranchos, where there may be a house every half mile. Pull up to his parents phat ass house and when I get inside, I realize we aren't alone.
So I had to settle for a computer chair in a bedroom w/ two sleeping football players and T.O.N.y.
We're sitting there, chatting it up and wouldn't ya know it, a button popped off my dress, exposing the (very perky looking) girls.
And he took full advantage of that (one of the benefits of having pierced nips, heightened sensitivity;) ).
And I always give credit when credits due, he's an awesome neck nibbler too.
But with the stupid sleeping QB's all I could to was straddle him an give him a lil sample of what I had to offer;)
He walked me back to my car around 7 a.m. and my M.O. is to give you a hug, maybe a kiss and hop into my car. NAW NAW. It seemed like he didnt wanna let me leave!!!
He just held me for the longest and kept pecking me.
"SO when *peck* am I *peck peck* gonna *peck* see you *peck* again?"
WTF moment numero Uno
I had work in 7 hrs so I immediately went to sleep. I wake up to a text "Have you gotten any sleep yet?"
Sweet but WTF moment number 2
He texted me THROUGHOUT that SAME day, "Oh I wish you were here" "I wanna see you again" "Would you even wanna see me again?" (Had I known he would have turned out to be a ROYAL DOUCHE I woulda said "HEYLL NAW"
Then I started to kinda like the man. UH-OH cause I don't do feelings! I just want sex and I just keep it moving.
But he was being a tad to nice to just want sex right?
We made plans to see each other again that following Friday and I was ready to go ALL OUT.
I got my hair did, got a pedi, bought a very salacious outfit from Frederick's...
Hell, I went PORN STAR bare, which I RARELY do, due to all the weird positions I gotta bend into to get every last hair.
I even went as far as to buy a vibrating tongue ring.
Friday comes along and my plans are fucked.
We don't end up seeing each other until 3 a.m. which I already didn't have a good feeling about.
The same sleeping bastard who cock blocked my dick on the first night was sitting on the couch when I got to T.O.N.y.'s apartment in East Jesus Nowhere...
T.O.N.y. led me to his room where I noticed he had candles lit.
WTF moment number 3
He left to go take a shower (which is encouraged, but we'll touch on that another day)
And he came back looking absolutely delish.
Lays down next to me, kisses me...
Then he pins my hands down and starts nibbling on my neck.
This is absolute bliss and I'm expecting the night to get even better.
Boy, was I WRONG!!!
Basically the neck nibbling was the best part of the night.
He turns off the lights and IDGAF what anyone says, candlelight is flattering light. It makes everything and everyone look sexy.
He undresses me. Pops my bra off with one hand (impressive I must say) and he rolls over on his back.
He pulls out his dick and I was a tad disappointed=/
So I went to town and started giving him a taste of my oral skills and he immediately starts fidgeting and moaning.
But for some reason his dick had a mind of its own because it kept moving and wouldn't be still!
Usually I can give head without using my hands but that little bastard wouldn't be still.
Then he starts to ram it in my mouth. The deep throating wasn't that hard, since he wasnt that long anyways...
When I stop and lay on my back, he gets up and kneels over me and I'm thinking he's reaching for a condom out the nightstand.
Nope, he just wants to fuck my face some more...
Then when we finally DO get to the sex...
After like 3 positions, he pulls out an cums on my stomach (blah).
It was fun, but I just wished it lasted longer!
T.O.N.y. wipes me down and then basically passes out.
I thought about sneaking out multiple times without saying goodbye, but decided against it but oh, how I wish I had!
In the AM he walks me to my car and says "Text me when you get home babe" and kisses me goodbye yet AGAIN.
And that was the last I ever heard from T.O.N.y.
While I have NO PROBLEM being a booty call, don't do all this extra shit to try to impress me!!!
Be upfront and say youre looking for fun, not anything serious.
I mean, blowing up my phone talking about you wish I was there, lighting candles, kissing me good bye...
WHERE DEY DO DAT AT?!
Honestly going out of your way to try to seduce me...tsk, tsk.
You had me with your big manly protein fed muscles and cute face.
I have come to the conclusion that...
MEN ARE FULL OF SHIT.
EDIT: I now know why he never called. Shoulda known his ass was off the market...*sigh* I can't win!!! FMMFL.
Anyways, on to greener pastures.
haha, WHO'S NEXT??
Babes an Gents, your HW for the evening
Courtesy of SexInfo101.com.
Probably the only thing he did RIGHT that night.
Hope your escapades go better than mine:)
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy