You see babes an gents THIS is why GiGi is so fucking picky. If I step out on Happenis even for a moment 9 times outta 10 it is going to be absolutely horrid. Idk what kinda weirdo voodoo hex he has placed over me but I wish it would come off me! God I don't even know where to begin...
I've seen a little bit of Happenis (I know, I know, much to the people's dismay, but that's a whole 'nother blog for a whole 'nother day), a little bit of the Sexsommiac (once again, I know, triflin' as SHIT) and recently I added some new meat to the mix. Let's call him...fuck I don't even know...Conejo (aka rabbit in spanish. It fits). I had been hard pressed for the peen lately because it seemed as if no one was tryna put out when I needed them to! And one day I was perusing my fb and saw this dude I used to work with and thought hmm...what if...I read his bio which actually had an ounce of intelligence in it (caught my ass off guard) and somewhere he may have mentioned that he wasn't a one minute man but I swear that had nothing to do with my decision! Anyways, I posted something on his wall, we had some small talk, and when he messaged me with his number I knew it was going down. So I hit him up, and I noticed he still used a signature on his texts. If this wasn't a red flag then I don't know what is. But I ignored it and we made plans to meet up later. I didn't know where he lived (not from his town) so I used my GPS and I'm telling you the closer I got the more I hoped my navigation was wrong! I turned on his street and I knew I was in the fucking ghetto. Everyone had dirt lawns, the "fences" were made out of that chicken wire shit, I mean his whole house was probably as big as my living room and dining room put together and I by no means at all live in a mansion! There were no sidewalks...just dirt and street...but I told myself not to judge a book by its cover. When he said he got his own place finally I was thinking like an apartment! But whatever I pull up and he tells me his friends are gonna go play beer pong somewhere and if I wanted to go. I told him it was "up to him", that I wasn't trippin. He decides we should go. We pull up to the house and when I walk in theres a mattress in the living room with someone sleep on it and two yappy ass little mutts who keep jumping on me. The beer pong "table" was non-existent; it was maybe like a sq. yard. They weren't even playing beer pong it was just some dirty plates and bills on the table! The girl sitting there is like "hey you wanna go to my house and have a bonfire?" and he looks at me. I tell him "ITS. UP. TO. YOU". He decides we should go. We get there and his two friends get out the car and I try to follow and he says wait. I'm like what?? And he starts kissing me. Fine enough til he takes my entire fucking mouth into his (Sound familiar?) and starts licking all over it. Yuck...he finally stops and goes from nibbling on my bottom lip to hoover vacuuming it off! I'm trying to lead and not let him have my bottom lip but the shit aint working. He stops kissing me to pull my boobs out and start sucking on em. I swear it felt like I was breast feeding a toddler with all their teeth. The amount of suction this man uses I was pretty sure he was going to suck my piercings clear the fuck out my nips. I tried to ease him off and he pushes me down and starts sucking on my neck hella hard. It felt good but I was NOT trying to have any hickies, so I told him be gentle. He wasn't listening yet again. Then he gets up on his knees and it looks like he's ready to whip it out "Oh hey whoa whoa whoa...I'm not having sex with you in a car." Everyone else is already at the bonfire I'm just tryna join. If his ass wanted to have sex already he should have just had them take us back to his spot! This cocky bastard thinks he can change my mind my licking and kissing on my stomach getting ready to go down on me and I'm like no I'm serious I'm not fucking you back here. We finally get out the car and I feel my lip. My lip was fucking swollen! That's how hard that man was sucking on it. It seriously looked like he popped me in the mouth. Anyways we get out just for his friends to get in and I swear it seemed like they had sex for forever and a day. It was cold outside, I was irritated, I just wanted to go home it was like 4 in the morning...finally they finished and we went back to his house. As if this night couldn't have gotten any fucking worse.
He asked if I wanted to come inside and I said yeah...how I wish I would've said no!!! His living room consisted of a fridge...and a big screen tv. The kitchen? A microwave and a HAMMOCK. The bedroom? A fucking pot farm. Mind you this was the warmest part of the house. SO I'm standing in the "kitchen" and he hops into the hammock (I can't even type this with a straight face) and he's like "c'mere". Sir. You are out of your FUCKING mind if you think I'm about wedge myself in that tiny as hammock with you. We went back and forth for about 5 minutes and then I noticed he wasn't wearing pants anymore! Are you fucking serious you were tryna get it in IN THE FUCKING HAMMOCK?!?!?!?! I go into the "bedroom and he follows me in wearing nothing but a long sleeve tee and some ankle socks..............................
He closes the door and starts with the hard kissing again and I could feel his dick poking me. I push him away to get a look at it. Very nice I must say. Not only was it long but that shit was soda can girthy. And cut!!! Yaaaay...for now at least...He picks me up and then lays me on the ground and pokes me with it. "Um...where's your condom?" and he just stares at me. Sir I'm being completely serious if you can't tell...SO he runs away an grabs one now let the sexing commence! At first I was on my back with my legs on his shoulders and I'm not gonna lie I ran like SHIT at first. Just um. A LOT. To take in...But that's where the joy ended. We switched positions and I was on all fours...and this man fucked me like a rabbit. He wasn't even going all the way in. I couldn't feel shit but his balls wacking me (This is just the nastiest feeling in life to me). I layed down on my stomach and he layed on top of me all in my ear talking about "This is mine, this pussy is mine" Sir.......................................just stop talking please. You couldn't even rent to own this shit. Thank you. It only got good when he went down on me, probably the only silver lining to this night, I got to ride his face and he ate it from the back, which was all I really wanted anyways. He asked me to "suck it", and I obliged just cause he went down on me so many times before. But I didn't like him or the sex so I really just half assed the shit. He kept putting his hands on my head (My biggest fucking pet peeve when I'm sucking dick. Let me do my damn job I don't need any type of encouragement from you!) and kept tryna ram his dick down my throat so much to the point I just pulled it out and told him I would bite his shit off the next time he did it. I had bits of marijuana leaves stuck to me, I was tired and annoyed so I tried to fake stomach cramps and dip. I quit I couldn't fake enjoying this shit any longer. When I start wondering when the fuck you're gonna nut I know it's time to tap out and strike it up as a loss. He looked a lil sad/pissed off but wtf ever. I got dressed and when I tried to grab my car key I didn't have it. I started frantically looking like a madwoman and came to the sad realization that when the man mauled me in the backseat it had to have slipped out my pocket and was in his friend's car in the next own over, 20 minutes away. I hopped right on the phone with my roadside assistance just for those bitches to tell me they can't send a locksmith because of my stupid ass chipped key ad the best they could do was tow me to a dealer where they wanted to charge me 200 bucks for a new fucking key. The whole time this bitch is apologizing (for me losing my key, not that wack ass sex >_
Needless to say I'm gonna pretend this night never happened.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
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