hay hay hay. I told myself I would at least write one more post before 2012 is over. So next on the list is my reunion with Sexsomniac. He's been coming in so clutch lately. Like he has helped me in my lil situation more than he knows.
Speaking of which, I still haven't spoken to the antichrist, he seems pretty content with his current situation and I can't be too mad at that...For the most part after the initial shock and borderline depression it has been a lot easier than I would've expected. But then again I think the only way I'm managing to stay sane are the edibles that just make me not give a flying fuckotash about anything. But shit I'm not hurting anyone so whatever works. I'm just waiting for the day I can't even stand the thought of being back with him.
But anyhoe...let me tell you about what went down the night I hung out with Sexsomniac. So it was Thanksgiving vacation and my friend was in town. Sexsomniac hit me up and asked me if I wanted to kick it with him. I honestly can't even remember the last time we had actually had sex but hey. Why not? It was a Sunday night and I wasn't doing shit anyways. When I got the hotel I got off the elevator and I just remember seeing these two big girls following me. I heard one of them ask "It's room 302 right?" and I'm thinking, wait, I"M going to room 302...so I power booked it down the hall to the room. When I get there my friend, Sexsomniac, Mr. Dunlap and the Mexican Breast Feeder were there plus some white guy I had never seen before in my life. I asked them if they invited any other girls and they just stared at me. Soon enough the big chicks opened the door and asked where the bathroom was so they could get ready. As soon as they shut the bathroom door Sexsomniac stepped into the hallway and I just pointed and silent laughed at everyone in the room. The Mexican Breast Feeder started to look at me and I was like "Oh hell no. I was summoned on pleasure not business fuck you guys I'm gonna enjoy the show." Idk why they always call these stripping companies to pay for bean poles and whales when they have *me* on call. They know what I look like already! But I digress.
The girls come out of the bathroom in their tacky ass lingerie and I can't help but think one of the girls looks familiar. After doing some questioning I found out I knew her from high school. She was a year older than me. We shall call her...Peggy. And her friend can be...Shelly. So Shelly looks around the room and asks who's gonna go first. Nobody moved, nobody said shit. I volunteered Mr. Dunlap since it was his birthday. The look he gave me = priceless. So the girls start hopping into laps...and because they're slightly on the bigger side they never get completely naked. They leave their lingerie top things around their waists. The Mexican Breast Feeder asks me if I would join the ladies in performing and Shelley chimes in and says she would love to see my boobs cause she likes girls. Um. No. Ma'am. I told her she was working and I wasn't gonna impose on her money. Oh I almost forgot to add we were listening to music off Shelley's phone with that ridiculous ass Boom Cube thing. This entire night was just getting more ratchet by the second. Peggy suggests that they start the private shows and she and the white boy head off to the bathroom. As they walked past me I was wondering if he noticed or even cared about the big ass herpe looking sore on her ass cheek. After they go in I noticed the Mexican Breast Feeder and Sexsomniac had both called me and I was confused because we were in the same room. I asked why they called me and they were like "Well you said no one called you to come work., so we were calling you now." Too late bitches lol. Shelley asks if we wanna see some dollar tricks. Okay, now you have my attention. Wtf is a dollar trick? You tip her a few dollars and she'll pick it up with her cooch. I had to see this so I ponied up some ones from the boys and gave em to her. She folded them in half hot dog style, put them on Mr. Dunlap's stomach, and she made sure to tell me "you gotta be a little wet first" and she crouched down and picked the shit up. Money is DIRTY AS FUCK. Okay? And you're picking up that dirty shit. With your PUSS. I know your cooch is absolute trash cause you clearly don't treat it with respect. I won't even take a dollar out a customer's mouth with my mouth, let alone my cooch. But whatever will pay your bills get it how you live pymp.
Peggy comes out the bathroom to see her partner getting tips and she says "Well anyone got a 5?" I'm like what are you gonna do with a 5? She says she'll roll it up and stick it up her butt. I think I'll pass. Then she says she can do a beer bottle trick for 20. Now this I HAVE to see. I pony up some more money from the boys and she's like she needs a clean beer bottle. She picks one up to go clean it and Shelley says "I wouldn't fuck a girl who knows how to do a beer bottle trick. Everyone just stares at the white guy and he puts his cowboy hat back on and doesn't say shit else for the rest of the night. She comes back in the room and all this lazy bitch did was fuck herself with it! Trick my ass!!! Shelley and Mr. Dunlap head off into the bathroom next and Peggy is just like...wtf do I do with myself. She gives a few more lap dances and sees Sexsomiac with a Shocktop. She's like omg is that a Shocktop can I have some? He stares at the bottle, then back at her and tells her she can just have it. She's like no I just want a taste and he's like no really, you can keep it. She takes a drink and tries to give it back and he stares at it like it's covered in AIDS. He Sends em a sad text saying "I really wanted that Shocktop, it was the last one:(" I tell him to just wash it off and he's like fuck no. Oh well. Lol. I look at the time cause I'm like these bitches have been here a long ass time so I ask Peggy how long these shows are supposed to be and she's like shiiiiit we went waaaay over time. She gets dressed, rolls a blunt, and asks if anyone cares to join her she'll be outside. Nobody went to join her. Before she left I asked if she was taking her friend with her and she's like "Oh. She's a big girl she knows when the show is over." Then I asked if she was gonna take her swtuff and she was like "I don't touch anything that ain't mine" and left. I knocked on the door like 4 times to let Shelley know her time was up, that her partner left and that her stuff was still here. she comes out the bathroom dressed, pissed her partner left her and when I said she left her stuff cause she didn't wanna touch it she was like "Pfft, yeah right." Damn.
After the girls left I cornered the white guy and asked him what happened. He would only touch his cowboy hat and not say shit. All I could get him to admit to was that he fingered her MAYBE a little bit. Mr. Dunlap on the other hand was not shy at all "YEAH I FUCKED HER. And she sucked the shit outta my balls while she jacked me off. And I would've put it in her butt if my legs weren't shaking so much." These are the people I hang out with. I'm thinking if she did that with you guys, who else have they done it with. That's why I keep my bougie ass in the clubs and out the hotel rooms. Mr. Dunlap paid me 50 bucks for a topless lap dance but thank god he told me it felt "weird". Cause I didn't wanna do the shit anyways. Then he squished his fat ass body on me and Sexsomniac with all his BBW stripper sweat juice on us and I felt so dirty. He's a bitch for that. Gross. After he left the Mexican Breast Feeder kept trying to have a threesome with me and Sexsomniac claiming they were so close that one time like a year ago. Bitch please. Go sit in a corner I DON'T WANT YOU! After a few failed attempts he finally left and me and Sexsomniac were sitting on the floor and he kept touching the inside of my thigh. Finally.
I'll save the actual sex part for the next blog. FYI shower sex is only halfway what it's cracked up to be. Shits dangerous af.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy
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