Can someone enlighten me on what intimidates men? Or what constitutes as being sexually aggressive? Because I have been told that I'm intimidating and aggressive and that may be why I can't get laid as often as I want. I don't know how the fuck someone figured that out, because when it comes to sex I'm the most submissive person ever. I go with the flow, I rarely take the initiative until you show some type of spark of interest first. So....what gives? There is this guy I went to high school with, I had a baby crush on him sophomore year. He's def attractive, so there's that. Going all the way back to the MySpace days he would hit me up and we'd start TALKING about doing something, but nothing ever came into fruition. Finally the shit started getting on my nerves because I felt he was toying with me like "Watch me get this bitch all fired up for nothing." So I stopped taking him serious. As of late he would hit me up but I never gave it much thought. I ran into him the weekend before Halloween and after that he would steady message me on Fb. He kept saying we should hang out but he was busy during the week when I was free. His only free time was on the weekends when I worked. With it being the holidays I didn't go to work much, so I was around, but when I'd hit him up about hanging out he'd be tired or too fucked up to function. I was starting to get annoyed because history was repeating itself AGAIN. Finally we were both available at the same time and I jumped on the opportunity before he bitched out again. I went over to his place around one, and when I got there I had an edible. He was gonna smoke me out at first but I don't really like blunts, and he had just rolled one, so I let him have that and I enjoyed my baked good. We sat there listening to Frank Ocean's Channel Orange for a bit, then he suggested we hop on YouTube and watch stuff. We watched some random clips, then he asked me if I had ever heard of something called Salad Fingers. I hadn't so he showed methis clip.
What. The. Absolute. FUCK?! This was beyond the creepiest hing I have ever watched, and not to mention the weed didn't make it better. Idk which is worse: The person that watches it or the person that created it. Like wtf is really going on in YOUR mind to come up with some twisted shit like this? But anyways, we got on Netflix and ended up watching Reservoir Dogs, which btw, I didn't think it was as great as everyone made it seem. I thought it was actually kinda boring, except when Mr. Blonde and the hostage had their moment. Towards the end of the movie he mentioned he was getting sleepy, but I didn't know where he was going with that. Sleepy as in you want US to hop in the bed? Or sleepy as in you want me to leave so you can sleep? But we stayed watching tv shows on Netflix. The entire time I was there we sat on either sides of the love seat. He didn't scoot any closer to me, he didn't try to slickly put his arm around me, nada. He didn't move, and neither did I because I didn't know what he was thinking. But what I do know was that shit sucked. Finally he turned to me and said "I think I'm going to go to bed. We can always hang out some other time. Here I'll walk you to your car." I just looked at him and said Ok. He walked me to my car and gave me one of those awkward ass side hugs then went back inside. I was like wtf? Was it me? What did I do? Or not do? I knew I didn't smell bad, and I actually did my makeup and shaved my legs and everything. Don't get me wrong I didn't go over there with the intention that I wanted to fuck him (I mean I wasn't going to because I'm between waxes right now), but at the same time...C'mon bro. I drove to your house at 1 in the morning. I looked cute...like why WOULDN'T you make a pass at me? I felt so unwanted lol. I expect a guy that I'm not close friends with to make a pass at me if we're high and alone and it's early in the morning. Like there should NEVER be an arm's length of space between us after midnight, NEVER. I would've made out with him a bit, straddled him and then some...but seriously? My friend just thinks he was being a little chicken shit and that he didn't know how to handle me...but I'm like handle me like you would any other girl I'm not a damn baby unicorn! Like I heard from a friend that when she hung out with him they got high together, went and got something to eat and when he brought her back to the house he just went down on her outta nowhere. I kinda expected my night to go somewhat similar. But noooooooo, not me! I can never get what I want.
My question to you guys is what is it do you think that I'm doing to scare them off? Lol shit cause I'm all out of ideas. Half the time I got people telling me closed mouths don't get fed, the other half are telling me that's being too aggressive. I'm just a poor old soul who wants what she wants when she wants it. I figure this year I want to get a boyfriend, not for the sole purpose of getting sex whenever I want it, because even that isn't guaranteed, but it would be a big bonus. And I'd obviously enjoy everything else that comes with having a boyfriend (What those things are, I don't know. Cause the closest I ever got to that was the Antichrist, and that was...whew.). Like I'd never be sitting at home wondering "Fuck....I really need some dick...who can give it to me?" I'd just be like "Oh hay sexy boyfrann. My vag wants to give your penis a big ass hug right meow." Or something. And that I wouldn't add any new notches (With the exception of three people) and that if I wanted peen I'd have to either backtrack or hurry up and find me a man. But we'll see how long this shit lasts. As for this dude right here, well, we'll see if he wants to hang out again, and if he does we'll see what happens from there. In the meantime I'm gonna order me a fat ass pizza from Pizza Hut cause I am STARVING.
Miss Sixxxty, your very own aggressive assed freak of the industryy