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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Premature Ejaculators and Erectile Dysfunction

I think in about every blog I address my drought.
Well, last night me and some friends went out, I had a few drinks, feelin good (not buzzed but good).
And the drought got the best of me.
So I called this little boy who doesn't live too far from my job.
And when I say little I mean LITTLE, as in he's entering senior year in high school.
All I wanted to do was make out with the boy! Maybe get my neck sucked on a bit.
I had a romp in the car with the boy before...ugh...the whole 45 seconds I kept thinking I'm going to hell...I'm going to hell for this shit!!! but it was over before I realized he was all the way in!!!
I said "Let me know when you're close" and then I immediately heard his breathing increase. I stopped him and said "Are you done??" He said no but then when I tried to move he said "I'm about to ooze."


Like are you fucking kidding me?! I looked at him, silently put my shirt back on and said "We needa work on that".

So last night when I was making out with him in my car he kept asking me to take off my shorts. Because of the way last time went, I wasn't gonna waste ending a drought on 45 second dick! But I also didn't know how to tell him he came too quick for me.
So I dropped his ass off and went home.

That is what I get for messing with little boys right?

Because then there was my neighbor, The Martian (he took that whole Lil' Wayne thing a lil TOO seriously). He was like 4 years older than I am.
And I had sex with him plenty of times.
And lets say out of 15 times he kept his erection TWICE. The first and second times we had sex. Then everything went downhill from there.
It was the same routine EVERY TIME.

First we'd spoon, he'd enter from the back.
Then I'd roll on my stomach,
Then I'd lean over the edge of the bed (his bed came up to my waist. That bed was probably the best thing about going to his house.)
Then he'd pull out cause he got soft on me...and that's when shit got awkward.
Cause he'd rest his dick on my ass and jack off in attempts to get hard.
He'd smush his balls into me (ICK ICK ICK) making the bed shake from his lack of blood in his penis.
At first I was shocked. And I offered to help, like any good sexual partner would do.
But then it started to get irritating.
I'd sit there, ass in the air facing away from him, rolling my eyes the whole time...
It just became too much so whenever he'd text me it would be like "I'm tired" "I'm not home" "I'm sick". And since I didn't wanna have sex with his non erection keeping ass I was all of a sudden acting "brand new".
Well shit he's a janky promoter!
I distinctly remember him telling me (y'all gon make me log into my myspace and find them messages)

Hun, I've done just about everything you can imagine.
Play ya cards right and you might have GREAT stories to tell ya friends

Oh, I got great stories to tell em...THEY ALL LAUGH AT ME!!!
Remember that time you were "puttin in overtime" an the sweat started poppin off your forehead like hot grease and I thought you were spitting on my back?
Oh yeah, sounds like a GREAT time in my book!

Eventually he moved across the country and stopped harassing me.

I'm telling you all of this because I did a phone/twitter poll of which is worse.
Everyone (except this one dude, but I think he's a virgin anyways) said not being able to keep an erection is the worst possible thing that can happen to a man.
And I agree.
Cause if a dude busts that quick nut before your arrival the sex last longer.
This is a proven FACT.

But the dudes I choose, its one thing or another with them.
Because asking for a gent with a big penis and stamina AND good looks is too much to ask these days...

*SIGH* for gents suffering with Limpdickitis I sincerely suggest you invest in a cock ring and do it TOday.
That should keep you hard and your partner pleased.

Babes an gents send me your various opinions @
I love hearin from you guys(:

Homework for this evening!

Courtesy of
This was mine && The Big Carl's fave position. Idk why but it's fun!

Yay for good sex!!!
Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industryy

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