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Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Good, The Bad, && The Ugly

I have been debating on writing this blog for a while now. But this blog is somewhat therapeutic so I need to do it to get the stress off my chest.
My birthday.
Whatta day.

Welp, my outfit was a winner.
I got off work early.
My good friends showed up.
The bitch beer was on point.
And I got birthday sex.

First off, only a third of the people I invited showed up, my real friends. And out of the 2/3 that didn't come, only two told me they wouldn't be able to make it. No lap dances (that I had worked so har on) were given out. Punk ass bitches. So my BM invited her friend from a tattoo shop who said he was bringing A friend. A as in SINGULAR. When I opened the front door I'm staring at 6 people. My other friends already didn't show up, ad they had a box of beer in their hands, so might as well be nice on my birthday and invite them in. One of the dudes was trying to hit on me and he just was not understanding that I wasn't having it. He sang for me. And I tried my hardest not to laugh at him. The bitch beer was not helping me in succeeding at ALL. Then as the night started to wind down he was getting ready to leave and invited me to come back to the tattoo shop. I told him I wasn't going ANYwhere, and he asked me what I was planning on doing then.

Me: Sleeping
Him: Well, you can come chill with me and we can go to sleep together.
Me: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah no. That's not gonna happen. So you can take your hand off my ass now.

Then they left and it was just me and the people I actually invited.
My friend took me to get some mexican food.
And I got some birthday sex.

I don't even know where to begin. Have you ever done something spontaneously and then thought, Now, why the fuck did I just do that???
I had that moment at the end of my birthday.
After all my guests had left, I decided to chill with one of my guy friends.
We were just talkin, drinkin, and chillin.
I see this guy as a brother. I care about his opinion, I don't like the thought of him thinking down on me.
We're sitting next to each other, lights dimmed. He sticks out his arm, grabs my hand and has me feel his pulse on his wrist.
Then the inside of his elbow.
Then the side of his neck.
When I reached over to feel the other side of his neck, he leaned in and kissed me.
My buzz DISAPPEARED. And my eyes got HUGE.
Because this was not suppose to happen, yet it was. I froze.
His kisses tasted fruity, like one of the Trident gums...and something in my brain said "Don't say shit."
So I didn't. Then he pulled me into his lap. And he started kissing my neck. I'm halfway enjoying it half way thinking "Is this really happening?"
I didn't think it was gonna go any further than an intense makeout session, but next thing I knew I was on the ground laying on my back with his face between my thighs.
My eyes are still big, because not only did I kiss the man, he's now giving me head, which I didn't ask for. You don't come across too many men who just dive down.
He comes up for air and I swear to you I have never seen anyone rip their pants off so fast. I mean it literally looked as if he had on breakaways, they came off so effortlessly...idk how he did it. Then my legs were on his shoulder. I'm laying here trying to enjoy myself, but there is this nagging voice in my head that isn't letting me do so. I knew he wasn't a virgin, I knew he had sex, but I could never pictured him having sex, let alone have sex with me. And he was. We were. We were doing this, no turning back. As we all know, I love being spanked. But tonight I couldn't even enjoy it because I was hoping my aunt couldn't hear. That's what I did the whole time. Thinking. I should have been enjoying myself but nooooo, my stupid left brain wasn't allowing me to do so.
He looks at me an says he wants to try something. I look at him an ask him what, and he says 69. I'm a little hesitant, because I was still getting over the fact that he just had his face buried in my goods, but I was like what the hell an hopped on. One thing I learned about him, he's a giver. And he gives FREQUENTLY.
Under normal circumstances, that would have been a birthday well spent.
And I wanted to get laid on my birthday.
But I never imagined it would turn out like that.
When it was over, I sat up, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down. So I laid there. And thought some more.
He got up and got dressed, I walked him to the door, and he asked me if there was going to be any weirdness between us. I assured him there wouldn't be and he kissed me goodbye.
I just kinda stood there still asking myself "Did that really just happen?"
We briefly chatted the next day like nothing happened, and that was that.

I have no problem sleeping w/ a cute guy I met at a party. The less I know about you, the better.
Sleeping with friends is difficult.
I know waaaaay more than I should about you, as do you know about me.
If you sleep with a close friend with the intention of getting together, then that's okay. You've already skipped that whole "getting to know you" phase.
I still value our friendship, but I know and he knows the next time we see each other in person it's going to be suuuuper awkward. I just hope it's not too awkward.
I just wish that the guy friends I do have that have propositioned me before don't think I'm just being a bitch when I turn em down, they just need to understand since we're already friends, it won't just be some random hook up its gonna be awkward. A friendship is like a relationship sans the intimacy. Two close friends can't have NSA sex because there were feelings there before the clothes even came off. Then if the sex is bad, you're probably never gonna wanna talk to that person again, and they're gonna wonder why you're acting all "brand new" and its a bunch of bullshit from there.

*sigh* I just hadda get that off my chest.


Courtesy of
Just waiting til my next issue

Miss Sixxxty, your very own freak of the industyy

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